Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 899 - May 02, 2010

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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Strange Golf Quotes:

These greens are so fast, I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.~ Kevin Costner

I don't fear death..., but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Church Bulletin Bloopers

Actual Announcements From Church

1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

2. Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.

3. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

4. Thursday at 5:00 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

5. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Smith to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

6. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

7. On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper at the end of the service.

8. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

9. A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement.
Music will follow.

10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Bleser, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Delser.

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 2. Mai 2010

Vol 899 - May 02, 2010 - Strange Church Bulletin Bloopers

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