Vol 638 - Oct. 31, 2007 - 24 Bumper Stickers For Women

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==================================

Strange Quotes on "Stupidity"

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

I am patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it.

Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not.

STUPIDITY is NOT a HANDICAP! Park elsewhere!

There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.

Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Tis sometimes the height of wisdom to feign stupidity.

'Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting' RAH.

There are four things that hold back human progress. Ignorance, stupidity, committees and accountants.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - 24 Bumper Stickers For Women

1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

2. GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.

6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. . . SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.

11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?

12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

13. AND YOUR POINT IS...?

14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.

17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

21. SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.

22. ANOTHER DOPELESS HOPE FIEND

23. IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

24. DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE SCHOOL BUS SIGN - SHOOTING PROHIBITED! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/131325.html

STRANGE ELECTRIC CHAIRS - VARIOUS STATE PRISONS - 8 - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/131532.html

STRANGE TOYS - BABY'S FIRST BABY? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/131701.html

STRANGE CROSSBRED HORSE AND ZEBRA! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/131778.html

STRANGE 'STAINED' GLASS WINDOW - AMAZING! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131779.html

STRANGE HIGHWAY "DRINK & DRIVE" SIGN! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/131791.html

SNEAKY SPIDER - WEB SPUN OVER FLOWER TOP - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131796.html

POODLE TRIMMED AND COLORED LIKE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/131797.html

STRANGE DEER HUNTING 'BLIND' - A HOT TUB, A COLD BEER AND DEER RIFLE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/131802.html

COOL CONCEPT BICYCLES - 6 - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/131806.html

STRANGE 3-D ANIMATION! - THE FORTUNE TELLER! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/131812.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN AIR FORCE KREMLIN FLY BY! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/131819.html

AMAZING LIGHTNING DISPLAY OVER THE CITY - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/131823.html

ELEPHANT ON RAMPAGE IN INDIA - GRABS TRAINER ! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/131826.html

NEW YORK STATE DRIVERS LICENSES - FOR TERRORISTS! - USAMA BIN LADEN - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/131858.html

STRANGE 'CHEAP' HALLOWEEN COSTUME - HUMAN TORCH! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/131859.html

AN ANGEL IN THE POST OFFICE - (GRAB A HANKY!) - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/131863.html

INCREDIBLE ELEPHANT BALANCING TRICK - OLD PIX - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131864.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SM - MILITARY - "SPECIAL" PICTURES AND PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/100050_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange But True Facts and Information - 3 - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/131366.html

Strange News From Around the World - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/131865.html

Strange Sad News - No More Redheads! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131866.html

Strange Wedding Vengeance - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/131867.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SM - MILITARY - "SPECIAL" PICTURES AND PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/107_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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Vol 637 - Oct. 28, 2007 - Your Halloween 'HorrorScope'

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Check Out the NEWEST addition to the Strange Family

- StrangeFunKidz.com !!!!

Just born last week! Check it out for Hilarious Pictures and Jokes about Babyz, Adolescents, Teens, Their Pets, Parents, High Schools and Education.

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==================================

Strange Halloween Quotes:

I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween… -- Unknown

Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
William Shakespeare, Witches in Macbeth

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid, there were rules to the art of door-to-door extortion. Kids today don't even know that they're going about Halloween all wrong. - Robert Kirby

Proof of our society's decline is that Halloween has become a broad daylight event for many. - Robert Kirby

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Your Halloween HorrorScope

HORRORSCOPES

Ascaryus (Jan 20-Feb 18): This Halloween looks to be a scary one for you. But before you go around crying, "Ooooh, I want my mummy! I want my mummy!" think about this: You want more lovin', right? Well, if you run around like a scaredycat, you will, to quoth the raven, "Neverscore."

Pieces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Vampires are evil, hypnotic people who will emerge in the night and drain you. Sounds like someone I used to date. You need to be careful because you may have closed the metaphoric coffin lid on a relationship, only to find that this person will rise from the graveyard of your heart to worm their way back into your life. One word of advice from "Buffy The Vampire Slayer": A vampire can only come in if you invite them.

Scaries (Mar 21-Apr 19): You've got to pick up every stitch this Halloween because, unless I miss my guess, it must be the Season of the Witch. If only every holiday could be commemorated with a bad Donovan song. Wouldn't it be great, on Thanksgiving, to sit around the table, giving thanks for the bounty we are to receive by singing a rousing round of "Mellow Yellow"? That is truly the most horrifying thought you can be faced with this Halloween.

Tarot (Apr 20-May 20): Sure, you ladies have been looking for some lovin'. But you don't want to go for just any Tom Dick and Harry. And heaven forfend you go for any Jack you find, especially when that Jack is some hollow-headed grinning gap-toothed idiot. But then again, despite his weird exterior, if you look inside, you'll see a flame burning bright. This might be the season of the witch, but if you try not to act so witchy and look past the odd exterior, you'll find hidden depths in the ugliest places.

OnlyOneEye (May 21- Jun 20): Horror is in the eye of the beholder, whether that eye be bloodshot and yellow, peering at you from the shadows of the night, or whether the eye is a horrible dismembered giant radioactive eye. What is truly scary? A werewolf? A werewolf is not so much a horrible half-man half-beast as a chronic undershaver. A headless horseman is just the victim of a particularly bad hair day. In much the same way, you can find the brighter side of anything that comes your way, no matter how horrific or annoying.

Dancer (Jun 21-Jul 22): Scary is relative, and we don't just mean your crazy relatives who threaten to come visit for six weeks, but rather the idea that whereas a movie with monsters made out of cardboard boxes and paper mache may have been the scariest thing you'd ever seen when you were eight, it now looks like crap. You must get over your initial fears of a new project or relationship; although it seems insurmountable now, if you stick with it, you will eventually be able to overcome it.

Tao (Jul 23-Aug 22): Frankenstein's monster was, of course, made out of the parts of a couple dozen other people, which must have been hell when it came to custody hearings. Nothing's more awkward at a family reunion than having one-tenth of Cousin Harry show up at the buffet. You, too, feel like you're being pulled in twenty different directions, but you'll soon receive the jolt you'll need to get on your feet again.

Vertigo (Aug 23-Sep 22): Pity the poor skeleton who wanders around on Halloween, looking so unfashionable in all-white a full two months after Memorial Day. Of course, he can't help it, and he is actually successful in the love department; after all, he is "ribbed" for her pleasure. This week you'll find that you attract more flies with honey than even dead zombie flesh, and being inherently nice to the opposite sex will make them flock to you like vultures to a skeleton.

Webra (Sep 23-Oct 22): Zombies are pretty well-known for trying to suck the brains out of people's heads. As was every high school algebra teacher I ever had. Coincidence? Considering that those people were always pale on the point of being green, had trouble communicating more than moans and incoherent screams, and had awkward, stumbling walks down the hallway, I think it's lucky I escaped without some horrible "Night of the Living Dead scenario." You escape a horrific fate worse than death , if you can steer clear of boring people at parties.

Scareio (Oct 23-Nov 21): You think you're being slick, but the truth is that you're like a ghost; people can see through you, and all the noise you're making is more effective scaring small children and dogs than actually doing anything. It's time to leave your old haunts and take care of that grave matter that's all your vault.

Sekeltarious (Nov 22-Dec 21): Boo! Scared ya!

Capricandycorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): You're in the zone this week! The Twilight Zone, that is, and it's going to be a creepy thrill ride with an incredibly ironic twist at the end that serves as a commentary on our mixed-up Cold War nuclear society. Don't let the creepy situations you get yourself into this week get you skittish. Let them get you Skittles; why not go Trick-or-Treating? It's fun to dress up, get given stuff, and not have to give ten percent to a big guy named Huggy Bear. And Halloween candy doesn't count as calories!

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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WHY YOU DON'T FIRE A PERSON AND LET THEM FINISH THE WORK DAY - 2 - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/131074.html

STRANGE AND NASTY WEATHER - LIGHTNING - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/131269.html

SUBMARINE - USS POGY SS-647 - 1996 ARCTIC RUN - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/131443.html

STRANGE ELECTRIC CHAIRS - VARIOUS STATE PRISONS - 12 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131528.html

7 MENOPAUSAL DWARFS - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/131599.html

STRANGE 'SCRATCH' FREE CAT/CAR WASH! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/131692.html

YOUR RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS OR ARM BEARS? MOTORCYCLE SHOTGUN RIDER! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/131700.html

STRANGE CAMPGROUND - BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU PARK YOUR CAMPER! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131704.html

OSHA VIOLATION - DANGEROUS AIR CONDITIONER REPAIR - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/131711.html

STRANGE 'CHURCH' STEEPLE UPSIDE DOWN! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/131718.html

STRANGE 'HAIRY' HOCKEY GOALIE - YETE! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131725.html

COOL 'REFLECTION' SHOT - OLD BAVARIAN VILLAGE - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131727.html

UNCLE SAM - ONE OF THE ORIGINAL VERSIONS - EARLY 1900'S - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/131738.html

WHEN BAND MEMBERS GET OLD - KISS - KNITTING! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/131739.html

US GUNBOAT 'MASSASOIT' - 1861 - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/131746.html

STRANGE TATTOO/PIERCED PEOPLE - "FREAK" - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131747.html

DANGEROUS ICE STORM NEARS BUFFALO - 3 SHOT SEQUENCE - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/131777.html

WORLD'S LARGEST JACK-O-LANTERN - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/120177.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - Strange Kids - Holidays - Halloween Costumes - Pumpkins - Christmas

http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/category/100464_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange But True Facts and Information - 4 - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/131365.html

Strangely, a Sign of the Times - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/131608.html

Politically Incorrect Halloween Costumes - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/22378.html

Halloween Groaner - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/21959.html

Trick or Treat better than Sex - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/20563.html

Halloween Humor - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/20466.html

How to Confuse Trick-or-Treaters - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/20444.html

Halloween Funnies - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/20443.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - HOLIDAYS - Xmas - Halloween - Thanksgiving

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/15_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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Vol 636 - Oct. 24, 2007 - You Know You're In A Redneck Church......

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Check Out the NEWEST addition to the Strange Family

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Just born last week! Check it out for Hilarious Pictures and Jokes about Babyz, Adolescents, Teens, Their Pets, Parents, High Schools and Education.

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==================================

Strange Quotes:

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see it shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. - Tim Allen

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code.....he turned himself in. - Rita Rudner

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked... - Bill Cosby

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." - Elayne Boosler

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Know You're In A Redneck Church......

You Know You're Church Is A Redneck Church...

IF the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

IF people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

WHEN the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,"
five guys and two women stand up.

IF opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

IF a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

IF the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

WHEN in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

IF Baptism is referred to as "branding".

IF high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

IF people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

IF the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

IF the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

IF the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

IF instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.

IF the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

IF the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Strawberry Hill".

IF "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

IF the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"

Submitted by Pasadena Phil

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE INSECTS - CLOSE UP! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/130948.html

STRANGE WHITE BIRD SITTING ON THE HORN OF A RHINO! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/131030.html

MOUNTAIN CLIMBING FUN - SORT OF! - DANGEROUS ROPE TRANSITION - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/131254.html

WWII - STRANGE ARMORED MOTORCYCLE - DANISH HARLEY-DAVIDSON - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/131310.html

STRANGE 'TRIPLE' GUITAR - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131420.html

HAPPY HIPPOS - TAKING A NAP! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/131517.html

STRANGE OPTICAL ILLUSION - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131521.html

STRANGE ELECTRIC CHAIRS - VARIOUS STATE PRISONS - 13 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131527.html

USS JOHN F KENNEDY - AIRCRAFT CARRIER - HEAVY SEAS - WAVES BREAK OVER CARRIER DECK! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/131542.html

USAF C-130 CARGO PLANE - COOL NOSE ON NIGHT SHOT! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/131543.html

WWII - BIPLANE CIRCLES OVER AIRCRAFT CARRIER - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/131550.html

STRANGE 'WHALE' CAR - ARZENS "LA BALEINE" 1938 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/131571.html

STRANGE PREGNANT BELLY - TIME LAPSE SEQUENCE TO TRIPLETS! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/131591.html

STRANGE ICE COLD VODKA DISPENSER - REALLY ICE COLD! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/131592.html

STRANGE 'BLOWN V-8' CASKET - A REAL CAR GUY TO THE END! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/131593.html

STRANGE LITTLE DOG GOING GROCERY SHOPPING ? - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131594.html

STRANGE ARMORED 8-WHEEL VEHICLE - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/131595.html

WORLD'S FASTEST POLICE CAR - MERCEDES CLS V-12 - 225 TOP MPH! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131596.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - Why I Lost My Job - Accidents - Things That Happen While Working - OSHA Violations

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/100441_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange But True Facts and Information - 5 - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/131364.html

Arrogant French Engineer Shows How Smart He Is. - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/131598.html

Strange Zodiac Signs - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/131600.html

The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/127884.html

Top 10 Old Folks Party Games - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/21585.html

Church Bulletin Bloopers - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/20186.html

Religious Bras - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/20721.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - Why I Lost My Job - Accidents - Things That Happen While Working - OSHA Violations

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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Vol 635 - Oct. 21, 2007 - Southern Drawl Words Translated

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Check Out the NEWEST addition to the Strange Family

- StrangeFunKidz.com !!!!

Just born last week! Check it out for Hilarious Pictures and Jokes about Babyz, Adolescents, Teens, Their Pets, Parents, High Schools and Education.

GO HERE - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/index.html

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Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Strange "I'm so Humble" Quotes

I'm the Connie Francis of rock 'n' roll. - Elton John

I say I'm Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin all wrapped up into one. If I die early ... I'll be just like those guys. - Dennis Rodman, 1997

I'm not an egomaniac like a lot of people say. But I am the world's best dancer, that's for sure. - Michael Flatley

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults. - David Lee Roth

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher. - Linda Evangelista, 1997

If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect. - Ted Turner

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Southern Drawl Words Translated

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
SEED - (verb) -- past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

DREAM YACHT - STERN SHOT - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/130920.html

STRANGE NEW BEER - IN A SPRAY CAN! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/130991.html

BATTLESHIP 16 INCH GUN SALVO - HUGE SMOKE RINGS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/131037.html

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USS ESSEX - AIRCRAFT CARRIER - HEAVY SEAS - 1960 - DANGEROUS LANDING! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/131329.html

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STRANGE US AIR FORCE AIRCRAFT IDENTIFICATION CHART - THERE ARE NO UFO'S! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131331.html

RADICAL NEW TIRE DESIGN - NO AIR - NO REPAIRS! EVER! - 4 - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/131346.html

CLUELESS BLONDE WALKS IN FRONT OF TRACK RUNNER - OUCH!!!! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/131393.html

STRANGE TROPICAL FISH - AMAZING! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/131417.html

STRANGE CAR - TINY LITTLE WHEELS! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131437.html

JOHN WILKES BOOTH - LINCOLN ASSASSIN - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/131438.html

WWII - F-6F ON FIRE - AIR CRAFT CARRIER - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/131442.html

STRANGE MOTORCYCLE/CAR - IT TILTS! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/131473.html

STRANGE 'SUNFLOWER' PARADE CAR - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/131474.html

STRANGE BLONDE ON A 'PINK' FARM TRACTOR - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/131475.html

PARIS HILTON DESIGNER GLASSES - REAL WORLD VIEW - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131477.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - HORSES - Ponies - Stallions - Rodeo - Jumping

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100682_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange But True Facts and Information - 6 - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/131363.html

Actual Letter From Pennsylvania Dept of Environmental Quality and the Dam Beavers - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/131388.html

Strange Quotes from England - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/21553.html

"I Love You" in 22 Languages - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/20813.html

Rejected State Mottos - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/21148.html

Top 10 Reasons for Being French/American/German - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/21398.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - HORSES - Ponies - Stallions - Rodeo - Jumping

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/136_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Vol 634 - Oct. 17, 2007 - Aptronyms - Names That Match the Occupation

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Check Out the NEWEST addition to the Strange Family

- StrangeFunKidz.com !!!!

Just born last week! Check it out for Hilarious Pictures and Jokes about Babyz, Adolescents, Teens, Their Pets, Parents, High Schools and Education.

GO HERE - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/index.html

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Strange Quotes: When Insults Had Class

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Aptronyms - Names That Match the Occupation

These are real APTRONYMS...
names that match the occupations.

Dr. Harry Beaver is a Virginia gynecologist.

Ray Ferrie is a retired ferryboat captain.

Linda Toot was the principal flute and William Basson was the bassoonist in the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra.

The current Florida Bar directory lists eight lawyers whose surname is "Law." They outnumber the Justices, of whom only four are listed. One Just. One Juster. Two Judges, neither of whom is a judge. One Council, but no Counsel.

Miss Cashdollar was the treasurer of a grade school.

Mr. Sues is a lawyer.

A soldier was spotted at a San Francisco military base with the nametag "Mankiller."

The 2001-2 Membership and Referral Directory of the American Urology Association includes 9 Dr. Peters, 11 Dr. Wang, 4 Dr. Wiener, 4 Dr. Cox, 1 Dr. Dick, 3 Dr. Philpott, 1 Dr. Urich, 1 Dr. John Thomas and 1 Dr. Insoft

Richard Seed is a pioneer of reproductive technology.

Cardinal Jaime Sin is former head of the Catholic Church in the Philippines.

Prof. Martin Braine is an American cognitive psychologist.

Prof. John Wisdom is an American philosopher.

Dr. Mishe Feinmesser (which means knife), is an Israeli surgeon.

Dr. Fingers is a well-know gynecologist in Australia.

Lake Speed is a NASCAR driver.

Dr. Dick Bone is an osteopath.

Patricia Feral is an animal rights activist in Stamford, CT.

A guy name Hooker runs a bait shop.

George Hammer used to own a hardware store in Louisville, KY. His son, Pete Hammer, now owns it.

The expert on deformed frogs (a problem in Minnesota) is Professor Hoppe of Southwest University of Minnesota.

In Maine, there is a veterinarian named Dr. Beever and a physician named Dr. DeKay.

Bruce Payne and David Swett are authors.

There is a law firm in California called Payne & Fears who represent employers in employment litigation.

At the British Guards Depot, the chief medical officer was a Captain Blood, his assistant was Lieutenant Butcher; the Dental Officer was a Major Savage.

Dr. I. Doctor, Eye Doctor, is an ophthalmologist.

There's a used car dealership was owned by Karl Krook.

At the Oscar Mayer plant in Madison, WI, the FED meat inspector is named Mr. Carrion.

Dr. Metzger is an orthopedic surgeon. The name translated from German means "butcher."

Jared Wooley raises sheep and Dr. Bone is an orthopedist in Buffalo, NY. Back in the '70s there were two urologists in Rochester, NY named Dr. Cocky and Dr. Wee.

Dr. David Toothaker is a dentist in Arkansas.

There is also a Dr. Coffin, Dr. Fearing, Dr. Sorrow, Dr. Pray and Dr. Death (pronounced Deeth) who should probably change his name or his profession.

And not to be outdone by Yanks, Bracebridge, Ontario, Canada, boasts of an optometrist named Gord Looker, an electrician named Bruce Sparks, a heating contractor named Mr. Freeze, a sawmill operator named Jordan Plank, and Jim Crook manages the local penitentiary while his assistant is Susan Penwarden.

Dr. Tom Fillar is a dentist.

Sir Russell Brain is a famous English neurologist.

Dr. Hertz was a dentist in Ft. Lauderdale.

Rev. D. Goodenough is a Methodist minister.

Roland Cruz is an auto mechanic.

Dr. Slaughter is an oral surgeon.

These entries added after we posted this 11-8-03

I read your latest posting and there is a very well known doctor and urologist in Austin, Texas who performed mine and many of my friends vascetomys. His name is Dr. Dick Chop and his assoiciate is Dr Hardman. I think this deserves to be added. James R.

==================================

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==================================

BIG OLD LION CHASING BABOON - FAST! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/130793.html

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STRANGE AND NASTY WEATHER - LIGHTNING - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/131260.html

USS SKATE - SSN 578 - NUCLEAR SUBMARINE - FIRST TO SURFACE NORTH POLE 1959 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/131289.html

OZZIE OSBOURNE - STRANGE 'NAKED' JAM SESSION! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/131307.html

STRANGE MOUNTAIN BIKING - THE REAL MEN'S WAY! - WITH A KEG! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/131308.html

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HIGHSCHOOL - BASKETBALL BEANS CLUELESS BLONDE CHEERLEADER - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/131323.html

HUGE MAN-EATING CATFISH CAUGHT IN CHINA RESERVOIR - 1 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131375.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - REDNECKS - Why They're SOOO Special !!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/25_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange OxyMorons - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131360.html

The Strange Definition of 'Experience' - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/131361.html

Kids Give The Strangest Answers! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/131380.html

Strange 'Zen' Sarchasim - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/131381.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - REDNECKS - Why They're SOOO Special !!

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==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Vol 633 - Oct. 14, 2007 - 12 Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Check Out the NEWEST addition to the Strange Family

- StrangeFunKidz.com !!!!

Just born last week! Check it out for Hilarious Pictures and Jokes about Babyz, Adolescents, Teens, Their Pets, Parents, High Schools and Education.

GO HERE - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/index.html

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

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==================================

Strange Quotes: When Insults Had Class

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."--
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...
followed by Churchill's response:

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - 12 Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

SIGNS YOU'VE CHOSEN A "NO FRILLS" AIRLINE

1. They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.

2. All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.

3. Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.

4. You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.

5. Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

6.The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

7. When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

8. The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

9. You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he says, "Just once."

10. No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

11. You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

12. All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE LAZY DOG - HAS ROBOT DOG BRING THE SLIPPERS! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/130720.html

THE DANGERS OF RUNNING ON THE TRACK - HEAD FIRST FALL! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/130822.html

STRANGE INSECTS - CLOSE UP! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130939.html

STRANGE FLYING BOAT - ONE BIG CENTRAL PONTOON! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/130988.html

SHARK ATTACK! - GREAT WHITE - JAWS AGAPE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/131021.html

STRANGE NAVY STEALTH SHIP - UNUSUAL BOW CONFIGURATION - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/131061.html

WHY YOU DON'T FIRE A PERSON AND LET THEM FINISH THE WORK DAY - 1 - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/131075.html

MERCEDES T-80 - V-12 - WORLD SPEED RECORD - 1939 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131076.html

CHICAGO CUBS BASEBALLER TAKES ONE TO THE HEAD - SHATTERS HELMUT! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131128.html

WWII RUSSIAN COSSACKS - GAS ATTACK DRILL - MASKS ON! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/131129.html

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STRANGE ITALIAN 'DEVIL' GETS A TRAFFIC TICKET! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/131149.html

STRANGE MENS TOILET - SPREAD THE LEGS! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131151.html

STRANGE WHALE WASHED UP ON SHORE - HUGE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/131153.html

STRANGE GUN - ORNATE POCKET DERRINGER - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131157.html

STRANGE LITTLE GAS POWERED MINI CAR - FIRST GO-KART? - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/131170.html

STRANGE BIG HORN STEER! THOSE ARE HUGE!!!!! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131175.html

SR-71 BLACKBIRD - FROZEN! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/131214.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - Why I Lost My Job - Accidents - Things That Happen While Working - OSHA Violations

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/100441_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Charges Dismissed in Strange Sherry Enema Death - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/131081.html

A Message To My Dog and Human Friends
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Top 15 Things to Say When Caught Sleeping at your Desk

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/24675.html

You spend TOO Much Time on the Computer When...
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/24527.html

Strange Coincedence? Iraq - Israel - The USA
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/131111.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Vol 632 - Oct. 10, 2007 - Strategic Responses to "Do I Look Fat?"

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Check Out the NEWEST addition to the Strange Family

- StrangeFunKidz.com !!!!

Just born last week! Check it out for Hilarious Pictures and Jokes about Babyz, Adolescents, Teens, Their Pets, Parents, High Schools and Education.

GO HERE - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/index.html

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Quotes & Wisdumb From The Stars

"I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put it out." - Dolly Parton

"Don't tell anyone. I'm supposed to be dumb." - Former supermodel Helena Christensen admits she can speak six languages

"I'm not handsome in the classical sense. The eyes droop, the mouth is crooked, the teeth aren't straight, the voice sounds like a mafioso pallbearer." - Sylvester Stallone

"I have everything I had twenty years ago - except now it's all lower." - Gypsy Rose Lee

"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine."- Rita Rudner

"I am a deeply superficial person."- Andy Warhol (1928 - 1987)

"Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry."- John Lennon

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strategic Responses to "Do I Look Fat?"

Strategic responses to the ever dangerous "Do I look Fat" question:

"No, not to Stevie Wonder."

"Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."

"Does this tie make me look stupid?"

"No hablo ingles."

"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things kinda balance out."

"If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."

"Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."

"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."

"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

"No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."

"Whoa! A talking couch!!"

"May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"

Submitted by Sean

==================================

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==================================

PANDA BEARS -CUTE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/130707.html

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FEMALE BODY BUILDERS - 1 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130835.html

STRANGE INSECTS - CLOSE UP! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/130934.html

STRANGE HOOD ORNAMENT - THAT DOGGIE'S COLD! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/130959.html

FAT DUCK RESTAURANT SURPRISE - DRIVE THRU TRUCK! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/130987.html

STRANGE BABY - STRANGE DOLL - SEPARATED AT BIRTH? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/130990.html

PERFECT PLACE FOR A HIGHWAY DANGER SIGN - A LITTLE LATE! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/131005.html

HAPPY NEW YEARS DAY! - IS THIS HOW YOU FEEL? LIKE THIS BEAR? - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/131014.html

STRANGE VANITY PLATES! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131016.html

COOLS BIRDS - RED CARDINAL AND MATE - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/131020.html

DANGEROUS AIRSHOW STUNT - 4 PLANES SKIM THE WATER! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/131025.html

BAD DOG IN PARKING LOT PLANTER BOX! DIRT EVERYWHERE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/131028.html

STRANGE 'ELEPHANT' CAR WASH - CLEAN LITTLE VW! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131029.html

STRANGE MULTI WING FLYING BOAT - CAPRONI Ca.60 TRANSAERO - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/131035.html

C-5 CARGO PLANE - DANGEROUS ENGINE FIRE! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/131036.html

BLONDE GOES FISHING - DOG'S NOSE HOOKED BY LURE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/131043.html

1951 A-BOMB TEST 21 KILOTONS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/131060.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - * COOL - Airplanes - Unique - Strange - Neat Stuff

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/9_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

The Top 15 Euphemisms for Impotence - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/130637.html

Strange Sports Commentators Comments - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/131078.html

Strange Analogies Contest - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/131079.html

Strange Examples of "DoubleSpeak" - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/131080.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - * COOL - Airplanes - Unique - Strange - Neat Stuff

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/102_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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News from The Smoking Gun

Dear Friends:

A Baptist minister who died in an autoerotic asphyxiation mishap, was hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits when his body was discovered by Alabama cops. And that wasn't even the freakiest detail disclosed in the late Rev. Gary Aldridge's autopsy report, which you'll find here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1008072scuba1.html

Now that the New York Yankees have been bounced from the playoffs, we won't be able to call the team's hotel and ask to speak to players like Johnny Drama, Simon Phoenix, Ricky Ricardo, or Payne N. Deneck. Ditto for manager Joe Russo. Details here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1005071yankees1.html

While every company strives for consumer loyalty and brand equity, most firms can do without their name and logo appearing on the clothing of arrestees during mug shot sessions. Photos here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1005073mugs1.html

Jesse James is a thief, according to a U.S. labor union. No, the other Jesse James:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1008071jessejames1.html

Have a news tip, suggestion, or complaint? Then by all means drop us a line at:

editor@thesmokinggun.com

Regards,

Your pals at TSG
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Vol 631 - Oct. 7, 2007 - 'CAKE' Personality Test

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

Check out the HOTEL Specials: http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

Or, Search any Other Destination! http://www.strangetravel.com/

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Proverbs

A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master. - Russian Proverb

A drink precedes a story. - Irish Proverb

A drowning man is not troubled by rain. - Persian Proverb

Better wear out shoes than sheets. - Scottish Proverb

Every ass loves to hear himself bray. - Proverb of Unknown Origin

Friends are lost by calling often and calling seldom. - French Proverb

He that marries for money will earn it. - American Proverb

Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one. - Chinese Proverb

Lend your money and lose your friend.- English Proverb

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - -'CAKE' Personality Test

Take this cake personality test; then, send this e-mail on to others.

When you send this e-mail on, put your cake in the subject box above. No cheating. Pick your cake then, look to see.

If you were buying a cake and you had your choice of the following, which would you choose:

Angel food

Brownies

Lemon Meringue

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing

Strawberry Short Cake

Chocolate on Chocolate

Ice Cream

Carrot Cake

NO...you can't change your mind once you scroll down So think carefully, what your choice will be!!!

OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what research says about you:

Angel food ... Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being child-like and immature at times.

Brownies... You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon Meringue... Smooth, sexy, &articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing ... Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in life, very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad, however, you are a friend for life.

Strawberry Short Cake... Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You can be overly-emotional and annoying at times.

Chocolate on Chocolate ... Sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Ice Cream... You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

Carrot Cake... You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. ! People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

WINTER DRIVING DANGERS - CAR UP ON THE GUARD RAIL! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/130256.html

STRANGE VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE HOUSEBOAT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130465.html

IRAQ - AMAZING IED EXPLOSION - BOMB MAKES ROAD HEAVE UP! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/130702.html

NASTY DOG - CHASING MAN UP A TREE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/130800.html

STRANGE 'DISASTER' WEDDING CAKE - LOOK OUT! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/130879.html

STRANGE PEOPLE - WEIRD & GOOFY! - 17 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/130882.html

US COAST GUARD TRAINING - TALL SHIP - MEN ON THE MAST AND SAIL RIGGINGS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/130900.html

STRANGE MONSTER TRUCK/CAR - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130903.html

DREAM YACHT - BOW SHOT - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/130911.html

STRANGE INSECTS - CLOSE UP! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/130932.html

PAIRS SKATING DANGERS - FACE PLANT! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/130956.html

STRANGE MONKEY CROSSING - INDIA - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/130958.html

STRANGE JAPANESE "FLYING" VAN - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/130961.html

STRANGE BUILDING PAINTING - BIG BABY! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130962.html

STRANGE COLLEGE ASSIGNMENT - SHE GOT AN A+ - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/130963.html

'I LOVE BEER' CHART! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/130966.html

SANDRA LEE - THE FOOD CHANNEL'S HOTTEST BLONDE CHEF - QUEEN! - 1 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130980.html

ALASKA PIPELINE WORKERS GET LONELY TOO! - STRANGE 'TREE' GIRL - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/130984.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - ELEPHANTS - RHINOS - African - Circus Acts - Babies

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100674_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

A Guy Walks Into a Bar............Jokes - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/130631.html

"Dopey" Awards For our Idiot mis-Educators - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/23152.html

Actual Answers from GCSE Students - Thanks NEA ! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/22046.html

1895 8th Grade Exam - How'd You Do? - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/21478.html

Strange History you didn't receive in High School - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/21141.html

The Difference Between Teachers & Educators - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/21099.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - ELEPHANTS - RHINOS - African - Circus Acts - Babies

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Vol 630 - Oct. 3, 2007 - Limericks From and For Geeks

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

Check out the HOTEL Specials: http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

Or, Search any Other Destination! http://www.strangetravel.com/

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes About Life's Little Mysteries:

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.
--Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stone, December 2, 1976.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. - Carole Burnett

With all due respect to the world's great drummers - it ain't brain surgery. - Mickey Dolenz, 1996

Our bodies are just temporary vessels for our souls, which will go on forever. You really are an extension of the power that created the whole universe, no matter what drags you have on. - Ru Paul

If I hadn't been a woman, I'd have been a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? - -Zsa Zsa Gabor

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Limericks from and for Geeks

There's a website they call GeoCity,
That thinks pop-up windows are nifty.
But to all of their guests,
They really are pests,
So the rest of us think they are sh**ty.

You know that computers have motherboards.
This is how they give birth to large hordes.
All of these mothers
Create many others,
To be sold in websites and stores.

His website was all about sex.
It had a girl making love to T. Rex.
His server said "Goodby,
Your hits they are too high,
And this our subscribers does vex".

I. Newton sees Apple fall down.
As he watches he says with a frown
"Support it is lacking
And it needs more hacking.
There are better computers in town."

A programmer from the town of Dunkirk
Would work with a most evil smirk.
Thought he "Buyer beware
If you use my software,
Because in it a virus will lurk."

I have an employer named Floss,
Who swears there is nothing like DOS.
If your OS is GUI,
She will always say "Phooey!
Any window is nothing but dross."

A ten-year old male we called Haskell
Was a very adventurous rascal.
He climbed on our roof,
slipped, and then - "Whoof"!
He fell off and lit on his cl*ass*ical.

In the cybercafe we call Website
There are computers online every night.
For five dollars an hour
You can view Eiffel Tower,
Or talk with an Israelite.

There was a fat turkey named Sam,
Who gobbled whenever he ran.
He came out of the bush,
Presenting his tush,
And was shot up the arse by a man.

A gray persian cat we called Myer.
Loved to sit and look in the dryer.
One day he fell in,
And went for a spin.
Now his fur looks just like barbed wire.

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/21019.html

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

FARM FUN - STRANGE 'EASTER BUNNY' HAY BALES - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/130216.html

AWESOME LIGHTNING STRIKES - CITY - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/130446.html

OLD MOVIE POSTER - VICTOR MATURE & DIANA DORS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130475.html

LIONS - JUST KILLING TIME! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/130706.html

STRANGE 'SIDE BY SIDE' TANDEM BICYCLE! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/130709.html

STRANGE 'UFO' POSTAL STAMP - TURKMENISTAN! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/130768.html

STRANGE FOOTBALL - THESE GUYS SHOULD NOT SIT TOGETHER - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/130769.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN TOMB - BICYCLE DOOR! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/130773.html

STRANGE WASHROOM ATTENDANT - RELAXED & COMFY! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/130776.html

FRENCH - VTOL - COLEOPTERE 1952-1959 - 2 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/130789.html

STRANGE KISS - FROM A LITTLE BLUE FISH! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130792.html

STRANGE CLIFF DIVER - A LONG WAY DOWN! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130797.html

STRANGE TORTURE CHAIR - NASTY! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/130798.html

THE WORLDS GREATEST SOCCER GOALIE - 4 HANDS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130820.html

FEMALE BODY BUILDERS - 5 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/130831.html

STRANGE "I LOVE YOU" YACHT CLUB! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130836.html

STRANGE ROCKING CHAIR - WITH ADDITION! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130860.html

STRANGE SIAMESE TURTLE - WHICH WAY DO WE GO? - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/130861.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - * STRANGE PEOPLE - Scary & Just Plain Dumb!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/31_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Uses for Aluminum Foil - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/130632.html

Strange Home Made Signs - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/21670.html

Laws of Language - Old and New - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/21604.html

Actual Town Names Around the World - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/21527.html

Breasts - Different Names They're Called - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/21408.html

Anagram Hall of Fame - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/21409.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - * STRANGE PEOPLE - Scary & Just Plain Dumb!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/110_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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News from The Smoking Gun

Dear Friends:

When are college students going to learn that it is a terrible idea to post racially charged photos and videos to their Facebook pages? In the most recent example of such harebrained behavior, white students at a Louisiana university reenacted the "Jena 6" attack, complete with blackface and racial slurs. Story (and offensive photos and video) here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1002071jena1.html

More than four million readers have purchased a copy of "A Million Little Pieces," author James Frey's discredited memoir of his drug addiction. But only 1345 of them have sought a refund as part of a class action lawsuit brought against Frey and his ex-publisher. Lawyers, however, are seeking about $800,000 in legal fees, so somebody will walk away happy from the ridiculous litigation. Details here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1001071frey1.html

There are no more brilliant marketers than the guys who peddle pot-laced candy bars, peanut butter, and energy drinks (though we're not sure about that watermelon-flavored barbecue sauce). Amusing DEA evidence photos can be found here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0928072tainted1.html

Yes, kids say the darndest things:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1003071child1.html

Enter our contest for a shot at new CDs from Kanye West and 50 Cent, as well as an assortment of fine Smoking Gun products, including our latest book, some hot sauce, and a deck of celebrity mug shot playing cards. Just tell us what the youth wanted to wear:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/contest/contest.html

Regards,

Your pals at TSG
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