Vol 959 - Nov. 28, 2010 - Strange Insights and Nonsense

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

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NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

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2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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Strange "PC" Quotes:

There is an annual contest at University of New Brunswick calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term was: "Political Correctness".

The winner wrote: "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end."

Political correctness does not legislate tolerance; it only organizes hatred. Jacques Barzun

Political Correctness doesn't change us, it shuts us up. Glenn Beck

The cornerstone of the political correctness that dominates campus culture is radical feminism. Phyllis Schlafly

"The two pillars of 'political correctness' are:

a) willful ignorance

b) a steadfast refusal to face the truth"

"Political correctness is the natural continuum from the party line. What we are seeing once again is a self-appointed group of vigilantes imposing their views on others. It is a heritage of communism, but they don't seem to see this." Doris Lessing

Vol 959 - Nov. 28, 2010 - Strange Insights and Nonsense

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Strange Insights and Nonsense

1. ON METAPHYSICS
Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.

2. ON DEEP THOUGHTS
A day without sunshine is like night.

3. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES
There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?

4. ON HIGHER EDUCATION
College is a fountain of knowledge... and the students are there to drink.

5. ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

6. ON YOUTH
Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk.
-- Stephen King, 3/8/90

6. ON PROBLEM SOLVING
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.
-- Abraham Maslow

7. ON MATERIALISM
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.

8. ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES
Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!

9. ON INFINITY
If you had everything, where would you keep it?

10. ON ECONOMICS
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

11. ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University

12. ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?

13. ON DATING
When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.

14. ON POETIC LOVE
When you're swimmin' in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That's a moray!
-- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

15. ON MODERNISM
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

16. ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.

17. ON EXTINCTION
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

18. ON LITERATURE
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker

19. ON HUMILITY
To err is human, to moo bovine.

20. ON EXPLANATION OF THE END ...
One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
-- Robert Firth

21. ON PROPHECY
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse.

22. ON EXCUSES
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. -- Joe Walsh

23. ON NUMBERS
Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for very large values of 2.

24. ON WORLD POLITICS
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

25. AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE AFRICAN MADE FURNITURE - SKINS, TUSKS & HORNS! - CROCODILE CHAIR - WILD! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169406.html

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TSA BUMPER STICKERS! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/170419.html

LOOK WHO I FOUND AT THE FOOTBALL GAME! WALDO! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/170429.html

SEXY TALENTED SURFER GIRLS - 7 - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/170461.html

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TINY MONKEYS RIDING CAPYBARA - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/170542.html

STRANGE BATMOBILE - 1965 PORSCHE - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/170543.html

MUG SHOT HALL OF FAME - UPDATED - 7-1-10 - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/170544.html

MARLENE DIETRICH - USO TOUR - NAVAL SHIP WWII - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/170545.html

TYPES OF MISSOURI LABS - 4 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/170546.html

STRANGE GOLF CARTS - HEAVY DUTY AUDIO SYSTEM! - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/170573.html

RARE YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK PHENOMENON - FIRE WATERFALL - 1 - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/170607.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - STRANGE TRAFFIC SIGNS - SIGNALS - BILLBOARDS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100016_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - STRANGE TRAFFIC SIGNS - SIGNALS - BILLBOARDS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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[b3ta] "We like N. Korea, and we like S. Korea. But which is better? Only one way..."

 

This Week:
* ZOMBIES - in retroland
* CATS - in festive wrapping
* KUNT - for Xmas #1

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________ ____ __ ___ "We're looking at pics
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | of pretty schoolgirls
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | throwing rocks at the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| police... together"

B3ta online turd no' 456 - 26 Nov 2010

456 is a very pleasing number to type. Try it.
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue456/

Gillian McKeith: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Ben Goldacre: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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Modern porn is a bit grim isn't it? Everything
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clothes, and celebrate this by sticking them
all over your chest. 10% disc code for B3tans:
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>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? You can't have it. It's special.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Zombies, iPhone and Tories

>> 8-Bit zombies <<
We are trying to think of some kind of clever
joke about being "ate" by the undead, so try
not to get "bit". In the meantime, enjoy
Faceburger's splendid lo-fi zombie outbreak.
http://goo.gl/AFeWX

>> Amazing iPhone stunts <<
"I taped my iPhone to a remote-controlled car
and hit the Record button - enjoy the stunts!"
pipes Philipp Lens, who is clearly MADE OF
MONEY to muck around with his phone like this.
To be honest, he made us want to try it
ourselves. But we'd definitely want to add
some sort of padding before hurling an
expensive bit of kit onto a concrete floor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdErFWzitew

>> Sir Ian Bowler's Final Tape? <<
"This video, just released by the police, was
found in the wreckage of a fire extinguisher
outside Millbank Tower on the 11th November,"
intones Natt, of this secret Tory tape.
http://b3ta.com/links/Sir_Ian_Bowlers_Final_Tape

Oh, also, here's Natt's Spectator article on
#twitterjoketrial. We like Natt - he's an
interesting chap.
http://goo.gl/NEdyX

-------------------------------------------------

: BONUS SPONSORED ADVERTISING
Remember Battlezone?

Back to the 80's! Vector graphics at their
best - Tanks! for the iPhone/iPad, Android and
Palm is the only Battlezone clone you need.
http://bit.ly/ig3TE6

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: KUNT FOR CHRISTMAS NUMBER 1
Let's get the most offensive number 1 ever

B3ta is supporting one track for Christmas
number 1, and one track alone. Though we've
been asked to support at least five so far, we
don't want to split the b3tan vote, so GO TEAM
KUNT!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=106114816120104

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Unusual Talents

Last week we asked for your unusual talents.
Look away now if you can't stand photos of
bendy fingers:
http://b3ta.com/questions/talent/

* "I can get an entire Magnum into my mouth in
one go. Somewhat foolishly, I was once
persuaded to demonstrate this whilst sitting
outside a pub on Canal Street in Manchester
and spent the rest of the afternoon declining
very polite but ultimately unwelcome offers of
companionship." (davywavy)

* "I work with troubled youths. One of my
talents is my unique approach to de-escalating
aggressive kids. One situation involved me
walking into a room with a kid armed with a
kitchen chair standing on a table while two
youth workers tried to talk him down. My
weapon? A cookbook. The suspicious child
inquired as to what the fuck I expected to
accomplish with the book? I proceeded to read
recipes for twenty minutes until the kid said
enough was enough and that he'd get down."
(dazbrilliantwhites)

* "I can see in 3D - so bollocks to you Sony."
(Biff...)

>> This Week's Question: Dad stories <<
Tell us your Dad stories, be they about your
own dads or fatherhood itself.
http://b3ta.com/questions/dad/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Bum covers for dogs <<
The official B3ta wife is often offended by
the site of the offical B3ta cat's ringpiece.
She says, "Can't we make Rocky wear pants?"
Help is finally at hand.
http://goo.gl/TK1Wy

>> Monster Supplies shop <<
Maybe renting shop space is really cheap at
the moment but we're seeing lots of mental
shops popping up at the moment. This one looks
utterly charming and something worth abducting
children for, just to see the delight in their
tiny eyes. (Although the abduction bit might
upset them, so we suggest a rohypnol in their
Happy Meal.)
http://goo.gl/D7mij

>> Anonymous answer phone message music <<
People leave answerphone messages. Music is
made from them. Surprisingly moving. The one
about the suicide of a 13 year old boy made us
stop listening and feel depressed. (The site
can use that as a quote if they want.) Would
be interesting to combine this idea with a bit
of autotuning.
http://onehelloworld.com/

>> Dante's inferno - scientist remix <<
Not the most visually-exciting bit of work,
but stick with it as it explains well, for us
types outside of the scientific community, the
issues that get them riled. BTW: We'd be 6 and
9th levels of hell for our Geography GCSE
coursework.
http://goo.gl/0Dki1

>> Best of Instapaper 2010 <<
iPhone owners! If you're not bored already of
using it to film yourself having a wee (we did
this the other day, drunk, then felt disgusted
with ourselves and the tip of our manhood
creeping in the bottom of the frame, so
deleted it), then you need Instapaper. A cute
little 'read later' app that allows you to
select stories off the web that are too
lengthy to be enjoyed at work (like our penis)
and should be saved for the trip home (again
like our penis, natch.)
http://goo.gl/EBE0l

>> Fake blogger outed <<
Serious business internet stuff, and when
there's an online scrap, B3ta is there to link
away like rubberneckers at a carcrash. We'd
never heard of callgirl and blogger Alexa
DiCarlo until she was outed as a fake and a
man, but we spent a good couple of hours
finding out more.
http://exposeabro-alexa.blogspot.com/

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
It sounds a bit Jewish. This makes the title witty.

>> Dog of light <<
Pretty stop-motion animation sees a glowing
dog wander the late-night streets of Oxford,
doing what it is that a dog does best.
http://www.vimeo.com/17087679

>> Defenestration the Movie <<
Defenestration is, of course, the gentle art
of chucking people through windows. Here's a
good five minutes of strangely cathartic
glass-shattering action.
http://vimeo.com/16611269

>> PVC pipe player <<
Guy builds his own instrument out of piping
then does incredible things with it. The
finale is excellent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D2o8F2MOuI

>> "Dear Richard Dawkins" <<
Dickie Dawkins and chums snigger over some
choice pickings of the great man's hatemail.
Steve Jobs should do the same. Infact everyone
famous should do this.
http://b3ta.com/links/Dear_Richard_Dawkins

>> "Stumpy Strikes Back" <<
Amputee porn with a soft rock soundtrack. VERY
NSFW and a big thanks to Rob for making me
watch this whilst eating my lunch. WARNING.
NSFW. NSFW. NSFW. NSFW. NSFW. NSFW.
NSFW. NSFW. NSFW.
http://vimeo.com/13331173

>> How to wrap a cat <<
Incredibly soppy cat lets himself be covered
in festive wrapping paper - very cute!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jm3dm5J5r0A

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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Tron goatse

"Dear b3ta," writes Olly Farrell. "Are ye
aware of the blatant goatse on the new Total
Film?" Wow, that is quite an in-your-face
goatse.
http://yfrog.com/3m35w0j

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE

Results from the Inappropriate Memorabilia
Challenge

Last week we wanted you to invent bad taste
souvenirs.

Your favourites included:

* 9/11 - poignantly-designed executive toy
commemorating the death of thousands (dog day
sunrise)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10256480

* HINDENBURG - famous zeppelin disaster
remembered with a fancy new cologne (Paper 'n
Pencil)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10255799

* DIANA - the People's Princess may be
compost, but she'll never leave our
hearts (drbroon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10255657

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/merch/

>> New challenge: Shakespeare <<
The Royal Shakespeare Theatre is re- opening
after its very expensive refurbishment. Let's
help them celebrate by re-interpreting the
works of Shakespeare, and by 'shopping The
Bard himself, forsooth.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/shakespeare/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* CAT COLLAR BOTTLE OPENER - Skotzmun writes,
"Why not fit one of those magnetic cat-flaps
so your cat has a little magnet round its
neck. The bottle-opener is then firmly held in
place, yet still easy to detach. It will work
- one of our cats has wandered round the
living room with a fork attached to his. Took
a couple of minutes until we could get it off
him 'cos we were laughing at him too much. The
other frequently comes in with various metal
detritus attached... we're hoping he'll find
the ferrous equivalent of a £43 million
Chinese Vase. Oh... and we bought metal food
bowls too. The temptation was just too much.
Dinnertime now resounds to the much loved
"nom-nom-nom-nom-*chlikk* " as the bowl jumps
up to spang the cat in the face. BTW, we do
love our cats... honestly."

* CAT COLLAR BOTTLE OPENER 2 - twiceydrinker
writes, "As students we put one of the
old-style bottle opener rings on our dog's
collar - worked in a similar manner to the one
proposed. Feeding the dog a beer also helps
him to be much more well-behaved and nearer
when you want your next bottle open."
http://goo.gl/vs8Ly

* WORST TATTOO EVER? Ludovic writes, "I
discovered last week that my company had its
security policy upgraded, so we can't click
the tiny URLs, such as goo.gl, that are used
so often in the newsletter. So I tried to find
the original URLs using google. Which lead to
googling 'bear bile tattoo'. Then I jumped
from one image to another, searching for
something really ugly. Well, oddest tattoo
ever, my arse. I find some disgusting things
about the way some asians treat these fluffy
animals. But let me tell you that the tattoo
you have linked to is nothing compared to this
very unbelievable shit (NSFW)"
http://tsmo.pp.fi/kuvat/gr8tattoo.jpg

* B3TAN DOES A BOOK - Scaryduck writes,
"B3ta's deputy QOTW bloke Scaryduck has a new
book out with a not-entirely-genuine foreword
by North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il. He claims
it's the Best Thing Ever."
http://tinyurl.com/iamnotmad

* GINGER FUHRER MAKES MISERABLE MUSIC IN THE
MIDDLE OF NIGHT - and we're hiding it at the
bottom as we sort of want a few people to hear
what we're up to, but also don't want to get
the haters screaming, "This is shit! You left
out my brilliant project to link to this shit!
I HATE YOU."
http://robmanuel.posterous.com/width-of-a-womb

* HELP MATAZONE FIND A NETHERLANDIAN ANIMATOR
- Mata writes, "I've got a favour to ask: I'm
looking for a professional Flash animator
based in the Netherlands who could come and
give a talk at my university. These days I
teach games design in Breda, which is in the
south of Holland, and I'm teaching a course
on Flash animation. It would be really good
for my students if they could have a
professional Flash animator come in and give
them a talk for 1-2 hours about their working
life. Tips for animation, finding and dealing
with clients, what their daily routine is,
deadlines, Flash libraries, working in a
studio, sound effects... Anything that they
think would make an interesting talk. People
can contact me on here using this link:"
http://www.b3ta.com/gaz/write/5952

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
Advanced Pigeon Simulator and Up/Down game

>> Sky rats <<
Apparently this is a real game and there's
strategy and stuff, but we just liked flying
about and making 'coo coo' noises.
http://flylikeabird.bbgames.com/

>> Fuck knows, mentalism <<
Catbrain writes, "Here's a top tip for you:
Creative b3tans: Don't bother contributing
anything you've actually spent time making
yourself for the newsletter.. chances are it
won't get shown, in favour of recycled links
from www.boingboing.net anyway. Me bitter? (Or
maybe my stuff's just shit.)" Hmm, well
digging through Catbrain's work there was some
ad that was okayish but not our bag. However,
we did like their suggestion of featuring this
game, that has a guest appearance of Weebl's
Amazing Horse if you play it long enough.
http://goo.gl/IGwOX

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* WORLD'S BIGGEST PHLEGM BUBBLE - Ours
normally burst on our lips before they reach
an inch, and then dribble down our chin.

* NICK CLEGG ON SUICIDE WATCH - Surely all
this hate is getting to him? He's visibly aged
10 years in 10 weeks.

* WALK AROUND WITH A HUGE PICTURE OF JIMMY
WALES STRAPPED TO YOUR FOREHEAD - and see if
people give you money.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Badgers: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Wasps: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by
@danielbevis, Too late for the newsletter,
carly291287, Jake-of-all-Trades,
ElectricSpectre, Matt Round, whitebum, Dave!
vandal, djlumpyrulesok, @rsracing, scaryducky,
giftedweasel, @TheoEsc. Top Tippery by leo at
bind. Additional linkage and image challenge
by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols via The Great Architect. BTW: Duran
Duran have a new album cover that's
craptacular - they actually paid money for
this? Tee hee. http://goo.gl/8Bs65

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
When laundering bedding, seal the duvet cover
before washing it to make sure smaller items
don't get trapped inside it and stop it from
drying properly.

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Vol 958 - Nov. 24, 2010 - Things Sounding Dirty on Thanksgiving, but aren't.......

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude. - E.P. Powell

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. - Erma Bombeck

TURKEY DAY TOAST!!!!

A Toast for Friends & Family

Here's to friends both near and far:
Here's to woman, man's guiding star:
Here's to friends we've yet to meet,
Here's to those here: all here I greet:
Here's to childhood, youth, old age,
Here's to prophet, bard and sage,
Here's to health to every one,
Peace on earth, and heaven won!
-------------------

- After Thanksgiving Meal Poem

I ate too much Turkey, I ate too much corn,
I ate too much pudding and pie.
I'm stuffed up with muffins and too much stuffin'
I'm probably going to die.

I piled up my plate and I ate and I ate.
But I wish I had known when to stop,
For I'm so crammed with yams, sauces, gravies, and jams
That my buttons are starting to pop!

I'm full of tomatoes and french fried potatoes
My stomach is swollen and sore,
But there's still some dessert so I guess it won't hurt if
I eat just a little bit more!

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -)

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THANKSGIVING, BUT AREN'T...

"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"
"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."
"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."
"Talk about a huge breast!"
"It's Cool Whip time!"
"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"
"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"
"Don't play with your meat."
"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."
"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."
"How long will it take after you stick it in?"
"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
"Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"
"How many are coming?"
"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
"Just lay back & take it easy... I'll do the rest."
"How long do I beat it before it's ready

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

FARM FUN - COW LOVE IN THE AFTERNOON - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169940.html

MARCUS LUTTRELL - SOUL SURVIVOR NAVY SEAL TEAM - HERO - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/169972.html

BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAIN PEAK REFLECTED ON LAKE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/170031.html

STRANGE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS - LARGEST TOAST - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/170065.html

STRANGE STEALTH JETS - RUSSIAN MIG-144 PLASMA STEALTH - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/170133.html

VERY RARE NAZI SS BELT BUCKLE GUN - 2 BARREL 7.65mm VERSION - FRONT - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/170164.html

WWI BOMBS - THE FIRST ONES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/170185.html

AMAZING LOOK DOWN SHOT OF B-2 BOMBER FLY BY OVER USC PENN STATE FOOTBALL STADIUM - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/170235.html

AMAZING TRANSLUCENT FUTURE SPORTS CAR! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/170241.html

STRANGE VEHICLES - 1/2 COP CAR - 1/2 TAXI - YOU CHOOSE! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/170244.html

MEGAN KELLY - HOT GQ SHOOT FOR FOXES HOTTEST FOX - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/170246.html

BILL MURREY FINALLY FINDS GOPHER HOME - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/170286.html

AMAZING SHARK SURFING HUGE WAVE - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/170298.html

STRANGE YELLOW CAB TWIN ENGINE AIRPLANE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/170303.html

STRANGEST MUGSHOT TATTOOS - EYEBROWS "WRONGFULLY CONVICTED?" - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/170305.html

HEY GRANNY - TIME TO RETIRE? WHITE-OUT? - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/170336.html

STRANGE SOLAR TOWER FOR 2016 OLYMPIC GAMES - RIO de JANEIRO - 5 - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/170412.html

RARE ORIGINAL 1944 GREEN BAY PACKERS FOOTBALL CONTRACT - $150.00 PER GAME! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/170417.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - FOOTBALL - NFL - COLLEGE - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100020_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Things You Can Say on Thanksgiving & Get Away With - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/22431.html

A Thanksgiving Poem - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/112129.html

Black November - A Turkey's Lament - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/25143.html

Thanksgiving & Turkey Trivia - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/25140.html

Inspirational Words - Stories and Quotes - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/21615.html

"My Thanksgiving Prayer to You" - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/112133.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SS - FOOTBALL - NFL - COLLEGE - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/110_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 957 - Nov. 21, 2010 - A Strange Ethical Dilemma - What Would You Do?

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange Quotes:

"I really need a gin and tonic." - Camilla Parker Bowles

"My great-grandmother was your great-great-grandfather's mistress, so how about it?"
Camilla Parker Bowles

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are." - Matt Lauer

"I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands." - Dudley Moore

"The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it." - Dudley Moore

"There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there." - Colonel Sanders

"It's just a show. It's not the end of Western Civilization. It's chewing gum." - Jerry Springer

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - An Ethical Dilemma - What Would You Do?

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car.

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.

However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. I love this, I may actually use it sometime for an interview situation.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

He simply answered: ""I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital.
I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams.""

Never forget to ""Think Outside of the Box."

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE OLDE CLASSIC AUTOMOBILES - 1934 MCQUAY-NORRIS STREAMLINER - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/168788.html

DUMBEST CRIMINALS 2010 - MUG SHOTS - BIGGEST SURPRISE - SHAMWOW GUY & PROSTITUTE - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/169155.html

STRANGE AFRICAN MADE FURNITURE - SKINS, TUSKS & HORNS! - DUAL LOVE CHAIR - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/169403.html

1932 AUBURN ROADSTER BOAT TAIL - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/169741.html

ELEPHANT FOOT GLACIER - AERIAL VIEW - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/170032.html

AUSSIE ROAD TRAIN CROSSES STREAM - LOW BRIDGE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/170035.html

STRANGE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS - NAVAL FLUFF - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/170064.html

EARLY STEALTH JETS - HORTON 229 FLYING WING - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/170125.html

AMAZING ANTARCTICA PPS PRESENTATION - W/ MUSIC - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/170146.html

B-52 BOMBER - LOW PASS ON THE BEACH - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/170151.html

VERY RARE NAZI SS BELT BUCKLE GUN - 4 BARREL 22mm VERSION - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/170166.html

BATILLUS SUPERTANKER - WORLD'S LARGEST SHIPS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/170183.html

WWI - STRANGE CARRIER PIGEON TRUCK - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/170184.html

TSA CHECKPOINT SIGN - PREPARE TO BE VIOLATED! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/170189.html

HOT PRODUCT MODELS - HOTTEST COLLAGE - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/170209.html

A REAL COWBOY TOMBSTONE - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/170211.html

STRANGE DANCING OPTICAL ILLUSION DANCING BOX - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/170212.html

AMAZING LOOK BACK VIEW OF AIR CRAFT CARRIER DECK FROM HELICOPTER - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/170237.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - ANIMAL ACTION GIFS - ANIMATIONS - PPS PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/101279_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Great Celebrity & Golf Pro Golf Quotes - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/170234.html

7 Annoying Things About Being A Personal Trainer - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/137848.html

Strange Health Facts - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/138780.html

Strange But "Punny" Puns - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/138774.html

Top 15 Celebrities Who Are Actually Smart - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/138335.html

Strange Redundant Redundancies - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/138064.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - ANIMAL ACTION GIFS - ANIMATIONS - PPS PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "Quitting the One show to be a full time sex pest"

 

This Week:
* HARRY POTTER - cassetteboy-style
* GOOD DOG - does tricks
* HOW TO - "Big Motherfucking Lens"

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving soles
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | for... the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| Footware Christ"

B3ta email 455 - 19 Nov 2010

Tweet this newsletter and get a criminal record:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue455/

Winners club: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Sadsacks: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Buy some cheapo cool shit on Brag It Up.com

Up to 92% off technology, shoes, watches,
designer clothes, gadgets, treatments and
Christmas presents. Brag It Up.com have
tracked down more amazing weekly deals, AND
have a new Christmas Special Offers page.
http://bit.ly/cF7pYF

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then you're a spacist.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #1
Harry Potter, Chap Hop and Flashmobs

>> Harry Potter and the X-Rated Trailer <<
"Not sure how long this one will last," frets
cassetteboy, over this extremely smutty clip.
Every double-entendre from the Harry Potter
films, in one place for your entertainment
pleasure. Get in there before the lawyers do.
http://b3ta.com/links/Harry_Potter_and_the_X_Rated_Trailer

>> Fighting Trousers - Professor Elemental <<
We greatly enjoyed the last vid from Mssrs
Moog and Elemental, Little Cup of Brown Joy.
"This one is a dis rap to that blaggard Master
B The Gentleman Rhymer, who has apparently
been 'biting'' the good professor's style,"
explains Moog. "The Biggie & Tupac beef will
look like Pinky & Perky by the time it's over."
http://b3ta.com/links/Fighting_Trousers_Professor_Elemental

>> What is a flashmob? <<
B3tan Housewife has some news footage that
explains everything:
http://b3ta.com/links/Forget_flash_mobbing_theres_a_new_craze

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Anarchy! Protesting!

Last week we were high from watching the TV
footage of the students fucking up Tory
central and we asked what you had protested
about.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/protest/

Our favourite answers included:

* KIDS CUSTARD PROTEST - "My ex once promised
our four kids, then aged about 4-10, cake and
custard after tea. He shamefully reneged. The
footy was on, or something, and he slunk off
to watch TV. The kids complained to me. I
quickly made them four little protest signs,
out of cardboard rectangles taped to rulers,
which said 'Cake and custard NOW!' and 'Cake!
Custard!' and so on. They paraded them in
front of their father, chanting 'We want cake
and custard! We want cake and custard!' and
totally disrupting his telly viewing. Sighing
like a true martyr, he dragged himself off
into the kitchen to whip up the promised
dessert. Pester power, eh!" (Juan Quar)

* FATHER TED / DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING -
Emvee writes, "I never thought I'd achieve
this level of web-based fame thanks to a very
hastily knocked-together placard ...but more
people emailed me about this than pretty much
anything else I've done."
http://www.failblog.org/2009/10/15/protest-fail-3/

* "BOYCOTT SHAMPOO! Demand REAL poo."
(Galactic Yeti)

And if this has whetted your appetite for
more, feast on dear reader, on our wordy
banquet:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/protest/

>> This week: Unusual talents <<
You know the kind of stuff - bending your
fingers into weird positions that makes people
go 'ewww!'.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/talent/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> How to Make a 900mm lens <<
Buzzfeed gives you the knowledge of how to
make a "big motherfucking lens".
http://goo.gl/S4pBS

>> Oddest tattoo ever? <<
Pazuzu writes, "I was just looking for a good
scaffolding picture on flickr and found...
this." What thought process leads you to
tattooing a bear trapped in scaffolding onto
your body? We asked on Twitter and current
theory is that it's something to do with
Chinese medicine and delicious "bear bile."
http://goo.gl/qPdmW

>> Doggies & Dildos <<
Dogs demonstrate their failure to understand
phallic symbolism. Aww bless 'im, who's hungry
for cock? Is it you? Yes it is!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/dildos-and-doggies

>> Bad logo competition <<
Don't just enjoy the internet's many, many
examples of terrible corporate design - join
this competition and make your own. There's
also a gallery of the entries so far,
involving rainbows, dolphins, faeces and the
word "synergistic".
http://howlowcanyourlogo.com/

>> "Where do my poos go?" <<
Wonder no more, for the answer is available
via this site. All you have to do is put in
your location, your email and the time you
flushed - then the world can observe your
toilet habits on Google Maps.
http://www.flushtracker.com

>> How long can you last on the chicken raft? <<
We lasted about 6 seconds and got nostalgic
for a simpler time when sites like these were
an exciting glimpse of the future.
http://www.chickenonaraft.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Sleeping Floof

These kittens look lovely and cosy, snoozing
in their basket. But wait, how many kitties
are there?
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Sleeping_Floof

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA PEOPLE #2
Cheryl Cole, Road Trips and Slow-mo

>> Super Massive Raver vs Cheryl Cole (as an orange) <<
We don't understand Super Massive Raver, but
he frightens us, so here he is taking a long,
rave-sized swing at the X-Factor, and pining
for a real proper pop star.
http://goo.gl/ywmw3

>> Lincolnshire roadtrip <<
"Sunday, was bored, drove around LINCOLNSHIRE
- the most exciting of places - filmed it,
made this. Think of it as a tourist
information thing," explains timoncheese.
Strangely enjoyable, the edited highlights of
someone's boredom.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Lincolnshire_Roadtrip

>> Slow-motion glide through Bath Spa station <<
Straylight stuck a high fps video camera out
the window of a train, as it raced through
Bath Spa station. The result is a smooth pan
through barely-moving people, noticing details
that'd normally pass you by.
http://goo.gl/AcTpR

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Otherwise known as "vids"

>> That Royal wedding interview <<
Prince William and Kate Middleton speak
surprisingly candidly about their sexual
adventures in Kenya.
http://goo.gl/Iai5E

>> Good dog! <<
This doggie knows an impressive number of
amazing tricks.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Good_dog

>> Every Arnold scream ever <<
The crystallized fruits of a twenty-year film
career, here's just under eight minutes of
strangulated vocalisation from the Austrian
Oak himself.
http://goo.gl/vVtmU

>> World's biggest Harry Potter fan <<
Fake or real, there's is an impressive display
of Rowling-enriching merchandise, as this
bespectacled young lad proclaims that he's the
world's best Potter fan. And he's single.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0VlIjXj9NA

>> "Sky Sports" slo-mo <<
Is it better to be the fist or the anus?
Wince-inducing slow motion puts you right
where the action is (SFW).
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Sky_Sports

>> Creepy thing of the day <<
Beauty ad that comes across like a sequence
from 1980s Doctor Who. With the music, it's
both terrifying and slightly sad.
http://tinyurl.com/3xdrtqr

-------------------------------------------------

: IT LOOKS LIKE A COCK
Previous known as "funny name corner"

* Grips for your bike - Proof, if any were
needed, that BMX riders are wankers.
http://goo.gl/nUUWG

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Modern Monarchy Challenge

Last week we wanted you to modernise the
Queen. Your favourites included:

* INFLATABLE - Brenda finally provides value
for money with a saucy makeover (LS18)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10247895

* RIOT - a spiffing time had playing British
bulldog down Millbank way (Frogcloset)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10248437

* CORGI - run, Lizzie, run! Our head of state
finally hits the skids (elvisweathercock)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10250316

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/modernqueen/

>> New challenge: Inappropriate Memorabilia <<
It's not just the royal wedding: there are
lots of historical events whose memory would
be best preserved with a whole range of tacky,
bad taste souvenirs. Your job is to design
them.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/merch/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* AWARDS FOR SEXY POLITICIANS - tom scott
writes, "I've declared the winners of Sexual
Congress, the "vote for the most attractive
politician" thing from newsletter 432. Also, I
sent them trophies. I hope Homeland Security
won't mind."
http://www.tomscott.com/congress/

* JESSIE MEMORIAL GIG - Professor Kenny Martin
writes, "I'm organising a charity gig in
memory of Jessie. Could I be cheeky and ask
for a mention in the newsletter please? I'm
splitting the profit we make between charities
Nina supported, including the Cat Survival
Trust in Welwyn; home of Nina the snow
leopard, who's been featured on here a few
times (mostly by Jahled). Could you pass on my
thanks in the newsletter too, please? For all
the well wishes, tributes & messages - they've
really helped."
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=116610808402668

* B3TA /TALK SONG - our messageboard has
factions, here's one lot giving another bunch
a kicking. Amusing. Mu-hahaha THEY ARE LIKE
ANTS IN A JAR, FIGHTING FOR OUR PLEASURE.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Gilbert_and_Sullivan_do_talk

* RIP POOR DEAD KITTENS - smoothpete sobs, "I
thought you might want to know that the
Fainting Kittens you linked to have both died.
Perhaps you might want to give them a little
RIP mention in the newsletter." Rest in peace,
little kittens. Not dead, only fainting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CC_9aFuEkA

* USER ID TATTOO - Wildheart Baby has just
shown us his latest tattoo on twitter. He took
his user_id number from the messageboard and
permanently inked it onto his knuckles. He
writes, "It's my reminder that you can do
strange things if your mental health is a bit
off."
http://upthear.se/1i4

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
Apostrophe test

OCD Grammar freaks! Make your less literate
friends feel like shit by scoring highly in
this quiz.
http://goo.gl/l3DLo

-------------------------------------------------

: "STAR" IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* A TOILET THAT COUNTS OUR SHITS - we're
pretty sure we do rather a lot of them but
never remember to keep a tally. Our wife
cleans the marks off the bathroom wall.

* A CURE FOR APATHY AND PROCRASTINATION - so
we could actually write this bit of the
newsletter effectively.

* CAT COLLAR BOTTLE OPENER - Clunky writes, "I
keep losing my bottle opener. My Dentist says
my days of opening bottles of beer with my
teeth are over. I can usually find my cat
(called Boink). I need a teeny, tiny bottle
opener that I can attach to my cat's collar. I
am wondering if any B3tans may have any ideas
where I can get one from. I want something
that will not have a negative impact on my
cat's life/fun ratio and will be usable."

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
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THANKS:

This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Theophile
Escargot, TheoEsc, Cliff Richard's porn stash,
cockneydevil, Ben Goldacre, [sic], mrGodFrey,
sandcrack, Revilo, Death Wish Of A Deaf Fish,
p_nut268, @PucatuB, mongychops,
lendmeyoureyes, @tobiefysh Additional linkage
and image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike
Trinder is QOTW bloke. He's like a superhero
that when somebody needs saving he turns up
with 50 web people, who then lie about their
childhood. Subjlols via HappyToast.

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TOP TIP:
Tony Redfearn writes, "Guys, impress and get
the woman of your dreams in to bed by simply
telling her you have a 12-inch penis. By the
time she finds out the truth it will be too
late."

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Vol 956 - Nov. 17, 2010 - Top 10 Differences Between Cats & Dogs

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

"Cat" Quotes

Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs and patronizes human beings. - Oliver Herford

Some people say man is the most dangerous animal on the planet. Obviously those people have never met an angry cat. - Lillian Johnson

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. - Garrison Keillor

If cats could talk, they would lie to you. - Rob Kopack

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - -Top 10 Differences Between Cats & Dogs

10. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you.

9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.

8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.

7. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.

6. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.

5. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.

4. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.

3. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.

2. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.

1. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE OLDE CLASSIC AUTOMOBILES - 1934 MORGAN SUPER SPORT - 3 WHEELER - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/168787.html

DUMBEST CRIMINALS 2010 - MUG SHOTS - CUTEST - VAMPIRE DIARIES CAST FLASHERS - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/169153.html

STRANGE EXPERIMENTAL AIRCRAFT - RARE PICTURES AND SHAPES! - FLYING WING - NORTHROP YB-49 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/169287.html

7 MILITARY AIRCRAFT IN FORMATION OVER MT FUJI - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/169596.html

STRANGE TREE STUMP GNAWED BY BEAVER - ALMOST FINISHED! - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/169939.html

AMAZING CLIFFS - NORWAY FJORD - AMAZING VIEW - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/170027.html

AMAZING COLORFUL CITY - ISLAND - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/170030.html

AMAZING DESERT OASIS - LAKE - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/170038.html

STRANGE DEER HUNTING ROLE REVERSAL - DEER DRIVING - HUNTER STRAPPED TO THE TOP - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/170039.html

STRANGE GUINESS WORLD RECORDS - WORLD'S SMALLEST CAR - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/170060.html

STRANGE GUINESS WORLD RECORDS - HEAVIEST LIMO - THE MIDNIGHT RIDER - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/170075.html

STRANGE OLDE BLONDE FEMALE WRESTLERS - HEAD LOCK FLIP - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/170122.html

EARLY STEALTH JETS - BELL P-59a - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/170123.html

STRANGE STEALTH JETS USAF BLACK OPS - FLYING WING - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/170128.html

STRANGE SPORTS PHOTOS - BOXING - STRAIGHT LEFT TO THE JAW! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/170145.html

NAVAL DANGERS - SURFING SUBMARINE - HUGE WAVE - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/170150.html

VICTORIA SILVSTEDT - 1997 PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR SELECTS HER PRIZE PORSCHE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/170152.html

STRANGE HORSE MARKING - SOME PEOPLE SEE IT - SOME DON'T - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/170155.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - DOGS - Puppies - Big - All Breeds - Goofy

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100009_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Nasty Womens Jokes about Men - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/170147.html

Voted The Best Australian Joke - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/170148.html

Strange Definitions - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/170156.html

Famous Products Invented by Different People at the Same Time - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/170157.html

10 Hilarious Cover Letter Blunders - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/168722.html

Strange Motorcycle Facts - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/168715.html

Strange Actual Calls Received at the Public Golf Course - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/167709.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - DOGS - Puppies - Big - All Breeds - Goofy

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/125_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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