News from The Smoking Gun

Dear Friends:

We hate to call the "reformed" Paris Hilton a liar, but she was conning Larry King last night when she denied ever using drugs. In fact, Hilton has committed to videotape incidents of her drug usage. We've gathered some of those revealing hash/pot/Quaalude/mushroom clips here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0628071parishilton1.html

Speaking of the former convict, King never got around to asking Hilton about some of her previous racist comments. Again, let's go to her videotape:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0627072paris1.html

The sad demise of comedian Richard Jeni, who committed suicide in March, is detailed in a newly released autopsy report. Three months before killing himself, Jeni was involuntarily hospitalized after complaining of suicidal depression and saying that he would, "jump off a building." Details here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0627071jeni1.html

Accused murderer Phil Spector gives good postcard. Especially when he's denigrating the prosecutor trying to jail him for life. Not to mention the guy's mom. Story here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0626072spector1.html

Sometimes, it's very difficult for an arrestee to smile and say cheese when posing for a mug shot:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0621072emotional1.html

Have a news tip, suggestion, or beef? We'd love to hear from you, so drop a line to:

editor@thesmokinggun.com

Regards,

Your pals at TSG

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Vol 601 - June 24, 2007 - Strange Insights and Nonsense

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Strange Quotes:

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way
through Congress. - Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid
you. - Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty... but everything else starts to
wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out. - Unknown

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go
anywhere! - Billy Crystal

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir ........mighty scarce. -Mark Twain

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Strange Insights and Nonsense

1. ON METAPHYSICS
Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.

2. ON DEEP THOUGHTS
A day without sunshine is like night.

3. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES
There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?

4. ON HIGHER EDUCATION
College is a fountain of knowledge... and the students are there to drink.

5. ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

6. ON YOUTH
Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk.
-- Stephen King, 3/8/90

6. ON PROBLEM SOLVING
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. -- Abraham Maslow

7. ON MATERIALISM
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.

8. ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES
Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!

9. ON INFINITY
If you had everything, where would you keep it?

10. ON ECONOMICS
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

11. ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. -- English Professor, Ohio University

12. ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?

13. ON DATING
When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.

14. ON POETIC LOVE
When you're swimmin' in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That's a moray!
-- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

15. ON MODERNISM
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

16. ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.

17. ON EXTINCTION
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

18. ON LITERATURE
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker

19. ON HUMILITY
To err is human, to moo bovine.

20. ON EXPLANATION OF THE END ...
One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs. -- Robert Firth

21. ON PROPHECY
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse.

22. ON EXCUSES
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. -- Joe Walsh

23. ON NUMBERS
Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for very large values of 2.

24. ON WORLD POLITICS
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

25. AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE CUSTOM VOLKSWAGENS - WHICH WAY? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/125802.html

STRANGE TREES - AMAZING NATURAL FORMATIONS! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/126072.html

STRANGE TREES - AMAZING NATURAL FORMATIONS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/126077.html

STRANGE ARMY VERSION - WHEELCHAIR WITH TRAX - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/126335.html

CUTE LITTLE MONKEY CLIMBING THE BARS - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/126601.html

STRANGE "FAMILY NIGHT" AT THE BALLPARK - MASCOT SHOOTS ALL THE OTHERS! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/126687.html

ROSALYN CARTER WITH MASS MURDERER JOHN WAYNE GACY - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/126771.html

JIMMY'S STUPID LIL BROTHER BILLY - REDNECK POWER PICK-UP TRUCK MODEL - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/126785.html

STRANGE HISTORY OF THE "FLYING CAR" - FIDEL CASTRO'S BROTHER HIT A HORSE! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/126886.html

STRANGE BUSINESS SECRETS - THE COCA-COLA FORMULA! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/126889.html

RARE RED PANDA - aka FIRE FOX - 2 - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/126908.html

STRANGE FACED MONKEY MOMMA AND BABY - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/126921.html

COOL SHOT - LOOKING DOWN FROM THE EIFFEL TOWER! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/126931.html

STRANGE ALLIGATOR MAN - STICKS HIS CHIN ON GATORS MOUTH - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/126938.html

COOL SHOT - CONSTRUCTION CRANE LIFTING THE MOON! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/126941.html

LADIES COOLING OFF AT THE GOLF COURSE BEFORE AIR CONDITIONING! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/126942.html

STRANGE SWORD SWALLOWER - MANY SHARP KNIVES! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/126943.html

STRANGE "BOWIE KNIFE" GUN! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/126946.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - TOMBSTONES - DEATH - Caskets - Funerals

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/100331_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

50 Works of Art You Should See Before You Die - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/126885.html

In 2004, 5 of Top 10 Richest People Had the Same Name. - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/126887.html

Which Part of North America Still Belongs to France? - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/126888.html

Osama Bin Laden May Have Arranged Family's US Exit: FBI Docs - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/126894.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - TOMBSTONES - DEATH - Caskets - Funerals

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/102_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Vol 600 - June 21, 2007 - You Might be Trailer Trash, if........

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

Check out the HOTEL Specials: http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

Or, Search any Other Destination! http://www.strangetravel.com/

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange "Last Words!"

"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".

"Don't touch the red button!"

Gee, that's a cute tattoo.

It's fireproof.

What does this button do?

So, you're a cannibal.

Are you sure the power is off?

Pull the pin and count to what?

Don't worry it has airbags.

Hey what's that buzzing noise?

Don't worry its not that deep.

One time at band camp.

No, he doesn't bite?.

Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel.

I can pass this guy.

My brakes are fine.

Nice doggy.

I think it's trying to communicate...

"Homicidal Tendencies"?

"Na, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Might be Trailer Trash, if..

You Might Be Trailer Trash, If. . .

1. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2. You let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."

6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, watch this."

8. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

9. You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

10. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words to' The Star Spangled Banner' are, "Gentlemen, start your engines".

12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.

14. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

17. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

18. You can't get married to your sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.

19. You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.

20. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

21. Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos".

22. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

SEE WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU CRY! BERT CHOMPS LITTLE KIDS HEAD! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/125677.html

VARIOUS WWII BATTLE PICTURES - STRANGE GERMAN RECON PLANE - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/125864.html

STRANGE TREES - AMAZING NATURAL FORMATIONS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/126074.html

STRANGE ANTI-M.A.D. PROTEST GROUP - D-A-M-M - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/126285.html

STRANGE HAIRLESS CAT - ( SPHYNX CAT) NASTY FACE WITH TONGUE STICKING OUT! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/126456.html

STRANGE WIRELESS DEVICE INVENTED! - NO MORE PLUGS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/126472.html

AUDREY HEPBURN vs. PARIS HILTON - CLASS? - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/126564.html

STRANGE BABY RHINO - RUNNING HARD! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/126600.html

STRANGE SURPRISE GIFT - ALL WRAPPED UP - THEY'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT IT IS! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/126611.html

STRANGE MULTI-TALENTED STEWARDESS - INDIA AIR - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/126616.html

WWII - FLAK BLOWS OFF B-25 BOMBERS WING - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/126620.html

HOW SAFE IS THIS? - MOM ON SEGWAY PUSHING BABY STROLLER! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/126653.html

ROY ROGERS & DALE EVANS (1959) - 59 CHEVY CONVERTIBLE - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/126654.html

FINALLY, THE STORE I REALLY NEED! - SUPERHERO SUPPLY! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/126667.html

OSHA PROBLEM? STRANGE POOL PAINTING CREW! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/126679.html

STRANGE PAINT JOB ON LONDON TAXICAB - RELAX! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/126694.html

DRINKING DECATHLON PROGRESS CHART - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/126706.html

COOL NORTHERN LIGHTS PIXS - AURORA BOREALIS - 1 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/126724.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - ST - GREAT BRITAIN - ENGLAND - IRELAND - SCOTLAND - Dublin - London - Glasgow

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/category/100574_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Student Stages Robbery to Wipe Bad Grades - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/126773.html

15 Strange New Uses For VODKA! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/126809.html

How Do You Decide Who to Marry - (Written by Kids!) - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/126810.html

100 Most Influential Americans - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/126884.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - ST - GREAT BRITAIN - ENGLAND - IRELAND - SCOTLAND - Dublin - London - Glasgow

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/category/108_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Vol 599 - June 17, 2007 - Strange "Romantic" Poems

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

Check out the HOTEL Specials: http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Quotes About "Movies"

Alfred Hitchcock - "The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."

Clint Eastwood - "This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country."

Alfred Hitchcock - "A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it."

Roger Ebert - "Every great film should seem new every time you see it."

Kareem Abdul-Jabar - "My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay."

Kenneth Tynan - "The greatest films are those which show how society shapes man. The greatest plays are those which show how man shapes society."

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange "Romantic" Poems

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,

But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's

empty, and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace.

If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.

This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace,

But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you really screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell

Except for maybe "Oh! Go To Hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

MILITARY ATTACK! ASSAULT ON A PORT-O-POTTY! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/125675.html

STRANGE CUSTOM VOLKSWAGENS - GANGSTA! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/125809.html

STRANGE TREES - AMAZING NATURAL FORMATIONS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/126076.html

COOL CAMO CRAB! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/126161.html

BUDDHIST MONK AND HIS TRAINED CAT JUMPING THRU A HOOP! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/126258.html

RARE WHITE PEACOCK - AMAZING - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/126411.html

XB-70 - VALKYRIE WITH STRANGE PAINT PEALING PROBLEM - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/126481.html

HUGE SHIP RUNS AGROUND IN AUSTRALIA - 'PASHA BULKER' - 4 - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/126549.html

PARIS HILTON - JV HOCKEY PICTURE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/126562.html

STRANGE DOUBLE DECKER HOUSE/BUS - CUTAWAY VIEW - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/126583.html

STRANGE VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE DISPLAY - WHAT ARE THEY DOING? - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/126594.html

STRANGE WOODEN PARADE ELEPHANT! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/126595.html

NASA - SPACE STATION - SPACE WALK - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/126602.html

HUGE DOG - STICKING HIS HEAD OUT THE CAR WINDOW! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/126607.html

STRANGE WEINER DOG RACES! - DASCHUNDS DASHING! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/126609.html

STRANGE 'HORNED' SNAKE - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/126612.html

NASTY BICYCLE RACING ACCIDENT - CHASE CAR RUNS OVER PARTICIPANT! - GRAPHIC! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/126615.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SP - COPS AT WORK - Action - Arrests - Issuing Tickets - Resting ?

http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/100378_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Facts of Technology - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/126415.html

Louisiana Town Bans 'Saggy Pants' - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/126545.html

Which Country Averages The MOST Vacation Days? - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/126555.html

To ALL the Kids Who Survived the 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's... - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/117229.html

Strange Pick-up Lines - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/113493.html

School Answering Machines - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/111190.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SP - COPS AT WORK - Action - Arrests - Issuing Tickets - Resting ?

http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/121_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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News from The Smoking Gun

Dear Friends:

The government informant at the center of the JFK airport terrorism case is a longtime drug trafficker who began cooperating with the feds after he was caught with $2 million in cocaine. To meet Steve "Toro" Francis, Team America's newest star snitch, head here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0614071jfkplot1.html

If you paid for a subscription to that web site with all those raunchy Paris Hilton videos and photos, you might want to consider canceling your credit card. Turns out the imprisoned heiress isn't the only person the site has recently exposed. Details here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0613071exposed1.html

What, you haven't heard about that sleazy Hilton site? It was just re-launched in defiance of a federal court injunction. Story (and, yes, photos) here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0611071paris1.html

Probably like most of you, our favorite web site is Fark.com. So we're pleased to offer newsletter subscribers a shot at winning one of 20 copies of Fark proprietor Drew Curtis's marvelous new book, "It's Not News, It's Fark." To enter our book raffle, go here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/farkbookcontest1.html

Have a news tip, suggestion, or complaint? We'd love to hear from you, so drop a line to:

editor@thesmokinggun.com

Regards,

Your pals at TSG

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Vol 598 - June 13, 2007 - I Know Where You're From By The Way You Drive

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

Check out the HOTEL Specials: http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

Or, Search any Other Destination! http://www.strangetravel.com/

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange "My Philosophy on Success" Quotes

I don't meet competition. I crush it. - Charles Revson

I'm not the type to get ulcers. I give them. - Ed Koch

I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an actor - Jack Nicholson, 1993

I always figured the American public wanted a solemn ass for president, so I went along with them. - Calvin Coolidge

I don't read books, I write them. - Henry Kissinger

I'm not the type to get ulcers. I give them. - Ed Koch

If people screw me, I screw back in spades. - Donald Trump

You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact. And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth. - John Lennon

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - -I Know Where You're From By The Way You Drive

How To Identify Where Drivers Are From Generally.

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York

One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator:
Boston

One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator:
California *with gun in lap: L.A.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy

One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female

Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another's car: Colorado

One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn't hit other motorists so as not to litter: Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate.

Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia male.

Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is now wearing a barrel: Las Vegas

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Two jailed after bridge built by blind man collapses | Oddly Enough | Reuters - Sent Using Google Toolbar

Two jailed after bridge built by blind man collapses | Oddly Enough | Reuters

undefined

Vol 596 - June 6, 2007 - Strange 'New Rules'

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

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==================================

Strange "Mark Twain" Quotes:

Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.

Stand prosperity. Let out next to nothing if you want to thrive a whole lifetime.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.

First, God created idiots. That was just for practice. Then He created school boards.

Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard.

Principles have no real force except when one is well fed.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Forget and forgive - let others toil at that too.

It's more trouble to make others toil than you think.

It's a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.

Forget and forgive. ... you are to forget inconvenient duties, and forgive yourself for forgetting. In time, by rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.

Golf [may be] a good walk spoiled.

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething. [Mark Twain]

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange 'New Rules'


New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your a&&. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blond teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky b**tards.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the a**hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge a**hole.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule, and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

Submitted by Kaspars

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Vol 595 - June 3, 2007 - Student Bloopers

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

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==================================

"Education" Quotes

"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards." - Mark Twain

"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten." - B.F. Skinner

"The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving." - Russell Green

"Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre." - Gail Godwin

"Education is a companion which no misfortune can depress, no crime can destroy, no enemy can alienate,no despotism can enslave. At home, a friend, abroad, an introduction, in solitude a solace and in society an ornament.It chastens vice, it guides virtue, it gives at once grace and government to genius. Without it, what is man? A splendid slave, a reasoning savage." - Joseph Addison

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Student Bloopers

The Humor of Youth

Young people are a prime source of embarrassing statements and bone-headed bloopers. Now it seems that their teachers are sharing all this on the Net.

History teacher and author Richard Lederer strung together a loose history of the world based on unusual statements in student essays. For example:

Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg.

Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.
Net humorist Tina Mancuso collects and shares strange statements in fifth and sixth grade science papers:

Question: What is one horsepower? Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.

Clouds are high flying fogs.

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