VOL 1465 - Sept. 30, 2015 - Strange Zen Sarcasm

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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September Fun !


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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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Strange Quotes: When Insults Had Class

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Zen Sarcasm



1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE EDUCATION ITEMS - 1912 TEST FOR 8TH GRADE - HISTORY - HOW WOULD YOU DO? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/196666.html


STRANGE EDUCATION ITEMS - 1912 TEST FOR 8TH GRADE - PHYSIOLOGY & GOVERNMENT - HOW WOULD YOU DO? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196667.html


FARM FUN - AMAZING VAN GOGH PAINTING CREATED FROM 1.2 ACRE FARM FIELD - "OLIVE TREES" - WOW! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/196703.html


STRANGE CELEBRITY SECRETS - CHRISTINA HENDRICKS WAS A GOTH AS A YOUNGSTER - SHAVED BACK OF HER HEAD! - SAY IT ISN'T SO! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196705.html


FARM FUN - OKLAHOMA STATE FAIR PUMPKIN DESIGN WINNER - DONALD TRUMPKIN! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/196706.html


MOUNTAIN BIKE RACER DANGERS - WIPE-OUT COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN AT THE BRIDGE! - WOW - AMAZING ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196707.html


AWESOME MILITARY PICTURES - COMBAT HELICOPTER RELEASES DEFENSIVE ANGEL FLARES WITH NAVAL WARSHIP IN BACKGROUND! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/196709.html


SCARY ROAD RAGE! - MOTORCYCLE RIDER STOPS AND SMASHES DRIVERS SUV WINDOW! - CRAZY ACTION GIF - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/196754.html


BUMPER STICK ON HUMMERS REAR END TELLS WHAT HE THINKS OF GLOBAL WARMING! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196756.html


NASTY PRANKS - FUNNY GUY STICKS ON A FAKE ELECTRICAL OUTLET AT THE AIRPORT TO FOOL COMPUTER AND CELLPHONE RECHARGERS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196642.html


BEER FUN - WHAT'S BETTER THAN A 6 PACK OF BEER? A 99 PACK! ANYTIME! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196741.html


STRANGE PARKING DANGERS - LUCKIEST STREET PARKER YET - TREE KNOCKED DOWN IN STORM FALL OVER CAR WITHOUT DAMAGE! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/196712.html


FUNNY GOLF PICTURES - CHECK OUT THIS METAL SIDED BUILDING NEXT TO A GOLF COURSE TEE BOX - MANY DENTS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/196743.html


STRANGE TATTOOS - GOOFY BLONDES TATTOO OF HER DOGS FACE ON HER BACK! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196745.html


COOL OLDE CARS - CUSTOM 1952 CHRYSLER HARD TOP WITH A MESSAGE IN THE WINDOW! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/196748.html


FARM FUN - TRACTOR PULL DISASTER - BLOWN SUPER CHARGED ENGINE - AMAZING ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/196750.html


STRANGE CELEBRITY PIXS - SHORT LITTLE TOM CRUISE NEXT TO SHAQUILLE O'NEAL AND TALLER MAN! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/196751.html


AMAZING BEAUTIFUL ROCKS - BISMUTH - LOOKS LIKE AN ELECTRONIC COMPUTER CHIP! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196753.html


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - WEAPONS - GUNS - RIFLES - KNIVES - HELMETS - ARMOR -

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/101068_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Strange And Stupid Deaths - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/196563.html


- 20 Cities With Strange Names and the Stories Behind Them - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/155168.html


- Top 10 Strange & Infamous Pirates - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/152637.html


- Top 10 Strangest Movies Ever Made! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/153748.html


- Top Ten Strangest Phobias........ - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/154331.html




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The Featured New Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - WEAPONS - GUNS - RIFLES - KNIVES - HELMETS - ARMOR -

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/112_1.html

==================================

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VOL 1464 - Sept. 27, 2015 - Strange Pilots & Mechanics With a Sense of Humor

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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September Fun !


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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

==================================

Strange Quotes & Facts:

Enzo Ferrari told a man "You may be able to drive a tractor but you will never be able to handle a Ferrari properly." The man was so angry that he vowed to create the perfect car. His name was Ferruccio Lamborghini.

The Golden State Fence Company was hired to build a wall between the US and Mexico. They were fined five million dollars for hiring illegal immigrants to do the job.

Goats urinate on their own heads to smell more attractive to females.

Technically, snails have five anuses. In other words, they're a bunch of assholes.

More people are killed each year by flying champagne corks than by bites from poisonous spiders.

A man in Oregon was jailed and fined for collecting rainwater, which is considered "property of the state."

Cotton candy was actually invented by a dentist.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Pilots & Mechanics With a Sense of Humor

Pilots & Mechanics With a Sense of Humor

Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a
200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE ANIMAL PICTURES - SNAKES - AMAZING COBRA SKELETON ! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/196665.html


STRANGE CELEBRITY LUNACY - BRITNEY SPEARS' PREGNANCY TEST SOLD ON eBAY FOR $5001.00! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/196671.html


STRANGE FARM & RANCH WISDOM - MESSAGE ON THE REAR OF A HORSE TRAILER TELLS IT ALL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196641.html


1966 CHEVROLET TURBO TITAN III - CONCEPT TURBINE ENGINE AND UNIQUE STYLING - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/196675.html


FARM AND RANCH FUN - WATCH THIS COW USE ITS HEAD TO STRIP OFF THE HAY FROM THE HAY-BALE! - FUNNY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/196676.html


CRAZY BLUE SURFER WAVE HAIR CUT FOR LITTLE KID WITH SURFER SLIPPING DOWN THE WAVE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/196677.html


STRANGE SPORTS PRODUCTS - WHO THOUGHT THE "BULLS-EYE TARGET" ON AN UMBRELLA AT A ARCHERY RANGE THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA? - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/196678.html


WHY NEWSPAPERS ARE DYING - STUPID HEADLINE IN THIS NEWSPAPER - "WAR KILLS PEOPLE!" - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196679.html


PARKING LOT FUN - NASTY MESSAGE LEFT WITH CHALK BY PARKING MORON - I'M SPECIAL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196680.html


STRANGE HUNTING & FISHING PIX - WILD PICTURE OF ELK WHOSE ANTLERS TORE OFF THE ANTLERS OF ANOTHER RIVAL MOOSE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/196681.html


STRANGE FUN BUSINESS MACHINES - WILD FOOSBALL GAME THAT DISPENSES TASTY GUMBALLS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196682.html


STRANGE COLLEGE FOOTBALL FUN - THE MINNESOTA GOLDEN GOPHERS DISTRACT OPPOSING KICKERS WITH HUGE GOPHER PICTURE ON JUMBOTRON! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/196685.html


STRANGE PARK DESIGNS - WHO THOUGHT DIRECTING THE BOTTOM OF THE SLIDE INTO TRAFFIC WAS A GOOD IDEA? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196684.html


STRANGE MILITARY PHOTOS - WILD ACTION SHOT OF MORTAR PROJECTILE EXITING THE TUBE WITH EXPLODING GASES! - WOW! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/196686.html


COOL AERIAL PHOTOS - GREAT SHOT OF FROZEN CANADIAN LAKE - ICE ROAD TRUCKER SLIDES OVER THE FROZEN HIGHWAY! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196687.html


STRANGE OLDE HISTORICAL PICTURES - US PRESIDENT JOHN F KENNEDY WITH LBJ AND HIS SECURITY ADVISERS DURING THE 1962 CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/196688.html


THE CATHOLIC POPE IS COMING TO NEW YORK CITY - EVEN THE DOGS ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT! - FUNNY RELIGIOUS PIXS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196694.html


LUCKIEST ARAB IN THE WORLD! - GLASS WINDOW PANEL DROPS OFF SKYSCRAPER NEARLY SLICING MAN IN HALF! - AMAZING ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/196711.html


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SF - G - FARM ANIMALS - CRITTERS - GOOD & BAD - RABBITS - BUNNIES - FOX - COYOTE - MISC.

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/100758_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Paraprosdokians - Great Word Fun! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196547.html


- Strange Little Known Texas Facts - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172271.html


- Only In TEXAS! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/172270.html


- Strange "Other" Uses For Toothpaste - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/168717.html


- Strange Things to Ponder - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/168737.html




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The Featured New Category This Week - SF - G - FARM ANIMALS - CRITTERS - GOOD & BAD - RABBITS - BUNNIES - FOX - COYOTE - MISC.

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/102_1.html

==================================

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VOL 1462 - Sept. 20, 2015 - You Might be Trailer Trash, if..

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

September Fun !


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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==================================

Amazing Insults

He's so fat, he has the only car in town with stretch marks.

He's so short he can sit on a piece of toilet paper and dangle his feet.

He's the first in his family born without a tail.

What color is the sky in your world?

What he lacks in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.

When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.

When I look into your eyes, I see the back of your head.

You're so ugly your husband takes you with him everywhere he goes so he doesn't have to kiss you bye.

Instead of being born again, why don't you just grow up?

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Might be Trailer Trash, if..

You Might Be Trailer Trash, If. . .


1. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2. You let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."

6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, watch this."

8. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

9. You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

10. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words to' The Star Spangled Banner' are, "Gentlemen, start your engines".

12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.

14. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

17. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

18. You can't get married to your sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.

19. You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.

20. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

21. Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos".

22. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE BUSINESS MACHINES - REFRIGERATED GERMAN SAUSAGE VENDING MACHINE - WOW! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196501.html


COOL SENIOR TOOLS - FOR THE NAVY VET - AMAZING BOAT WALKER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196565.html


INCREDIBLE HUGE ANIMALS - AMAZING AERIAL VIEW OF THE SIZE OF A LARGE BLUE WHALE COMPARED TO SMALL WHALE WATCHER BOAT! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/196566.html


STRANGE POLICE EFFICIENCY - STRANGE ARTWORK BENT TRUCK GETS A PARKING TICKET! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/196567.html


COLLEGE FUN - LEARNING ABOUT PROPER DIET IN COLLEGE DORMS - MAC-N-CHEESE - BEER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196570.html


STRANGE OLDE MEDICAL PRODUCTS - DR. BATTY'S ASTHMA CIGARETTES! WHAT COULD GO WRONG? - http://www.strangemedical.com/content/item/196571.html


STRANGE CIRCULAR CLOUDS - LENTICULAR CLOUDS - OR IS IT ALIENS? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196573.html


AWESOME KIDS BEDROOMS - AMAZING CONSTRUCTION TRUCK BED FOR THE BUILDER BOY! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196574.html


STRANGE OLDE HISTORICAL PICTURES - CHECKOUT GAS STATION PRICES 1950 - $.25 PER GALLON! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/196575.html


SCARY SCORPION MOTHER CARRYING A LOAD OF BABIES ON HER BACK! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/196577.html


STRANGE SIZE COMPARISON - HUGE CARGO HELICOPTER OVER LITTLE TINY HELICOPTER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196579.html


STRANGE FIREHOUSE MAILBOX - CREATED FROM A FIRE HYDRANT AND CHAIN SAW! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/196580.html


STRANGE SURFING DANGERS - HUGE SHARK COASTS UNDER THIS SURFER SITTING CLUELESS ON HIS SURFBOARD! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/196584.html


COOL VINTAGE CLASSIC CARS - 1934 AUBURN BOATTAIL SPEEDSTER! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/196585.html


CRAZY NEW NFL SPORTS STUFF - FEMALE REFEREES! - http://www.strangesportsfunkidz.com/content/item/196586.html


STRANGE LITTLE KIDS - THEY ARE SO USED TO GETTING THEIR PICTURE TAKEN THEY POSE FOR THE MAN WITH A SURVEYING SCOPE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/196587.html


STRANGE PEOPLE WITH ODD SHAPES AND SIZES - CHECKOUT KELLY LEE DEKAY - 16 INCH WAIST! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196588.html


WHY I LOST MY JOB SERIES - WORKER LOSE HUGE WOODEN SPOOL OF WIRE THEY WERE ROLLING UP AN ESCALATOR - ROLL RIGHT THRU THE FRONT DOORS! - CRAZY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196590.html


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - FOOTBALL - NFL - COLLEGE - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100020_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Strange And Scary Food Facts! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/196498.html


- Strange Words of Wisdom.... - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/24288.html


- Strange Phobias : Why the Number Four Is Considered Unlucky In Some East Asian Cultures - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172486.html


- 20 Strange Famous Last Words - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/166183.html


- Stupid Burglars Snort Cremated Remains of a Man & 2 Dogs - Thought it was Cocaine - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172484.html


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The Featured New Category This Week - SS - FOOTBALL - NFL - COLLEGE - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/102_1.html

==================================

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263

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VOL 1461 - Sept. 16, 2015 - Strange Actual Calls to Information in England

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

September Fun !


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

==================================

Strange "PC" Quotes:

There is an annual contest at University of New Brunswick calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term was: "Political Correctness".

The winner wrote: "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end."

Political correctness does not legislate tolerance; it only organizes hatred. Jacques Barzun

Political Correctness doesn't change us, it shuts us up. Glenn Beck

The cornerstone of the political correctness that dominates campus culture is radical feminism. Phyllis Schlafly

"The two pillars of 'political correctness' are:

a) willful ignorance

b) a steadfast refusal to face the truth"

"Political correctness is the natural continuum from the party line. What we are seeing once again is a self-appointed group of vigilantes imposing their views on others. It is a heritage of communism, but they don't seem to see this." Doris Lessing

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Actual Calls to Information in England

The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre.

Caller : I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please.
Operator : I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?
Caller : Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator : Woven? Are you sure?
Caller : Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caller : I'd like the RSPCA please.
Operator : Where are you calling from?
Caller : The living room
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caller : The water board please.
Operator : Which department?
Caller : Tap water.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Operator : How are you spelling that?
Caller : With letters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caller : I'd like the number for a reverend in Cardiff, please.
Operator : Do you have his name?
Caller : No, but he has a dog named Ben.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caller : The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.
Operator : You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told the worried operator: "I haven't got a pen so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.


==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE BUSINESS MACHINES - WILD BEER VENDING MACHINE WITH MULTIPLE TAPS OFFERING 14 DIFFERENT BREWS! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/196500.html


MOTHER OF THE YEAR NOMINEE - BARTENDER REFUSED TO SERVE HER WITH A MINOR AT THE BAR - SHE KICKED THE KID AWAY! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196543.html


FOOD FUN - WATERMELON JELLO IN A WATERMELON MOLD! JUST SLICE OFF A WEDGE! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/196544.html


STRANGE BUSINESS ADVERTISING - GOOFY BUS ADS - IRISH POTATO BUS! - LIMERICK GOURMET MEALS ON WHEELS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196545.html


SPORTS DANGERS - MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL HORROR - NASTY FOUL BALL! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/196546.html


COOL 1957 CHEVY MOTORCYCLE - REAR TAIL FINS ! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196548.html


STRANGE POLICE FUN - COP CARS AND MOTORCYCLE POLICE LINE UP AT DUNKIN' DONUTS! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/196549.html


COOL OLDE TOYS - NOW THIS IS A REAL TOY SAILBOAT! 4 SAILS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196550.html


STRANGE ANIMAL MUTATIONS - WILD LOOKING PEACOCK - HALF WHITE AND HALF NATURAL! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/196552.html


COOL MILITARY JET PILOT SELFIE - THE REST OF THE SQUADRON GOES VERTICAL AT THE SIX O'CLOCK - FUN ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196553.html


STRANGE NEW FASHION PRODUCTS - CHANGE THE PATTERN AND COLOR ON YOUR SHOES USING YOUR iPHONE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/196554.html


COOL WOOD CREATIONS - AMAZING FULL EAGLE AND OWL BENCH CARVED FROM STUMPS - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/196555.html


STRANGE MOVIE STARS - JENNIFER ANISTON STILL LOOKS HOT IN THIS SEXY DRESS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196556.html


STRANGE MONEY FUN - HERE'S 1 MILLION DOLLARS IN TEN DOLLAR BILLS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196557.html


STRANGE NEW NAVAL WARSHIPS - CHECK OUT THIS NEXT GENERATION US LITTORAL COMBAT SHIP AND IT'S ARMAMENT! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/196558.html


STRANGE PHOTO FUN - PERFECT TIMING - GOOGLE EYED BUBBLE EYES GIRL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196559.html


MY HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED - GREAT OLDE PICTURE OF 3 GIRLS WEARING SHORT SKIRTS 1972 IN KABUL AFGHANISTAN! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/196560.html


FACEBOOK MORONS ARRESTED AFTER POSTING! GOT 15 YEARS FOR BLACKMAILING CLASSMATES AFTER HE POSED AS A WOMAN! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/196561.html


==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SM - MILITARY - "SPECIAL" PICTURES AND PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/100050_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- 10 Russian KGB Secret Operations - These Guys Were NASTY! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/196414.html


- Texas Sayings - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/22787.html


- Top 10 Most Visited Famous Grave Sites - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169754.html


- Strange Facts - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/173826.html


- Strange Kitchen Tips - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/173825.html


==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SM - MILITARY - "SPECIAL" PICTURES AND PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/109_1.html

==================================

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VOL 1460 - Sept. 13, 2015 - 20 Special 'Southernisms'

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

September Fun !


------------------------

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Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

==================================

Strange Proverbs

A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master. - Russian Proverb

A drink precedes a story. - Irish Proverb

A drowning man is not troubled by rain. - Persian Proverb

Better wear out shoes than sheets. - Scottish Proverb

Every ass loves to hear himself bray. - Proverb of Unknown Origin

Friends are lost by calling often and calling seldom. - French Proverb

He that marries for money will earn it. - American Proverb

Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one. - Chinese Proverb

Lend your money and lose your friend.- English Proverb

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - 20 Special 'Southernisms'


1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, --
you "PITCH" them.

2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.
They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'.. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.


==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE BUSINESS MACHINES - CRAZY GIRAFFE COVER OVER BACKHOE ARM! - CONSTRUCTION FUN! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/196499.html


EDUCATION FUN - PARENTS CELEBRATE THE KIDS GOING OFF TO FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196502.html


AMAZING LOW PASS OF RED ARROWS PRECISION FLYING SKILLS! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/196503.html


KARMA - SUMMER SWIMMING FUN - GIRL RUNS TO KNOCK BOY INTO LAKE - HE TURNS AND SHE MISSES! - FUNNY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/196505.html


STRANGE TOMBSTONES & CRYPTS - BILL STANLEY BURIED RIDING ATOP HIS HARLEY DAVIDSON MOTORCYCLE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196510.html


STRANGE OLDE HISTORICAL PICTURES - BRITISH VICE ADMIRAL NELSON WHO WAS BLIND IN ONE EYE CREATED THE PHRASE "TO TURN A BLIND EYE!" - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/196492.html


SELFIE DANGERS - JEEP DRIVER LOOKING BACK AT CAMERA RUNS INTO PALS CANOE AND PICKUP TRUCK! - FUNNY ACTION GIF - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/196512.html


STRANGE OLDE 22 DOOR STATION WAGON - USED TO TRANSPORT GIRLS TO PLAYBOY MANSION! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196514.html


STRANGE COLLEGE FOOTBALL FUN - AMAZING MARCHING BAND CREATES WITCH FLYING ON A BROOM STICK! - FUN ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/196506.html


STRANGE CAT TRIM JOBS - CRAZY STRIPED CLIP MAKE TABBY LOOK GOOFY! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/196515.html


STRANGE FARM & RANCH FUN - THE SHEEP ON THIS FARM HAVE THEIR OWN STRETCH LIMO TAXI! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/196507.html


DANGEROUS MOTORCYCLE EVENTS - SCARY MOTORCYCLE CARRYING 6 RIDERS AT THE SAME TIME - WOW! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/196508.html


1969 HOLDEN HURRICANE WITH FEATURE WELL AHEAD OF THEIR TIME - FLIP UP ENTRY SHELL - GPS - DIGITAL DISPLAY - REAR-VIEW CAMERA - CLIMATE CONTROL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196509.html


CAMPING FUN - STRANGE TEARDROP CAMPERS - CUTE CUSTOM WOODEN TRIM - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/175562.html


STRANGE GUITAR SHAPED FARM FIELDS - AERIAL SHOT - WOW - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/175615.html


RACING DANGERS - MOUNTAIN BIKE RIDER'S FRONT WHEEL FLIES OFF! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/175616.html


FUNNY FAMILY PICTURES - LITTLE BOY HAS IT FIGURED OUT WHICH CHEERLEADER HE LIKES THE BEST! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196516.html


STRANGE DIVORCE REVENGE EVENTS - EX-HUSBAND HAS SPECIAL BIRTHDAY PRESENT DELIVERED TO HER DRIVEWAY - 20 TON BOULDER WITH HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAINTED ON IT! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/196517.html


==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - CARS - CORVETTES - VETTES - STINGRAYS - T-TOPS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100667_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Strange Facts About 10 Not So Easy Jobs! - Crazy History! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196411.html


- Strange "Romantic" Poems - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/113978.html


- Strange Animal Facts - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/113981.html


- Strange Shark Facts - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/113982.html


- World's Worst Predictions - Famously Wrong Predictions - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/113983.html


==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - CARS - CORVETTES - VETTES - STINGRAYS - T-TOPS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

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VOL 1459 - Sept. 09, 2015 - Strange Facts and History

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

September Fun !


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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------------------------

==================================

Strange "Groucho Marx" Quotes:

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Facts and History - 1

The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth.

When Albert Einstein died, his final words died with him. The nurse at his side didn't understand German.

St Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was not Irish.

The lance ceased to be an official battle weapon in the British Army in 1927.

St. John was the only one of the 12 Apostles to die a natural death.

Many sailors used to wear gold earrings so that they could afford a proper burial when they died.

Some very Orthodox Jew refuse to speak Hebrew, believing it to be a language reserved only for the Prophets.

A South African monkey was once awarded a medal and promoted to the rank of corporal during World War I.

Born 4 January 1838, General Tom Thumb's growth slowed at the age of 6 months, at 5 years he was signed to the circus by P.T. Barnum, and at adulthood reached a height of only 1 meter.

Because they had no proper rubbish disposal system, the streets of ancient Mesopotamia became literally knee-deep in rubbish.

The Toltecs, Seventh-century native Mexicans, went into battle with wooden swords so as not to kill their enemies.

China banned the pigtail in 1911 as it was seen as a symbol of feudalism.

The Amayra guides of Bolivia are said to be able to keep pace with a trotting horse for a distance of 100 kilometers.

Sliced bread was patented by a jeweler, Otto Rohwedder, in 1928. He had been working on it for 16 years, having started in 1912.

Before it was stopped by the British, it was the not uncommon for women in some areas of India to choose to be burnt alive on their husband's funeral pyre.

Ivan the terrible claimed to have 'deflowered thousands of virgins and butchered a similar number of resulting offspring'.

Before the Second World War, it was considered a sacrilege to even touch an Emperor of Japan.

An American aircraft in Vietnam shot itself down with one of its own missiles.

The Anglo-Saxons believed Friday to be such an unlucky day that they ritually slaughtered any child unfortunate enough to be born on that day.

During the eighteenth century, laws had to be brought in to curb the seemingly insatiable appetite for gin amongst the poor. Their annual intake was as much as five million gallons.

Ancient drinkers warded off the devil by clinking their cups

The Nobel Prize resulted form a late change in the will of Alfred Nobel, who did not want to be remembered after his death as a propagator of violence - he invented dynamite.

The cost of the first pay-toilets installed in England was tuppence.

Pogonophobia is the fear of beards.

In 1647 the English Parliament abolished Christmas.

Mao Rse-Tang, the first chairman of the Chinese Communist Party, was born 26 December 1893. Before his rise to power, he occupied the humble position of Assistant Librarian at the University of Peking.

Coffee is the second largest item of international commerce in the world. The largest is petrol.

King George III was declared violently insane in 1811, 9 years before he died.

In Ancient Peru, when a woman found an 'ugly' potato, it was the custom for her to push it into the face of the nearest man.

For Roman Catholics, 5 January is St Simeon Stylites' Day. He was a fifth-century hermit who showed his devotion to God by spending literally years sitting on top of a huge flagpole.

When George I became King of England in 1714, his wife did not become Queen. He placed her under house arrest for 32 years.

The richest 10 per cent of the French people are approximately fifty times better off than the poorest 10 per cent.

Henry VII was the only British King to be crowned on the field of battle

During World War One, the future Pope John XXIII was a sergeant in the Italian Army.

Richard II died aged 33 in 1400. A hole was left in the side of his tomb so people could touch his royal head, but 376 years later some took advantage of this and stole his jawbone.

The magic word "Abracadabra" was originally intended for the specific purpose of curing hay fever.

The Puritans forbade the singing of Christmas Carols, judging them to be out of keeping with the true spirit of Christmas.

Albert Einstein was once offered the Presidency of Israel. He declined saying he had no head for problems.

Uri Geller, the professional psychic was born on December 20 1946. As to the origin of his alleged powers, Mr Geller maintains that they come from the distant planet of Hoova.

Ralph and Carolyn Cummins had 5 children between 1952 and 1966, all were born on the 20 February.

John D. Rockefeller gave away over US$ 500,000,000 during his lifetime.

Only 1 child in 20 are born on the day predicted by the doctor.



==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE AUTOMOBILES - CRAZY SEE THRU ACRYLIC CAR! WEAR SOMETHING NICE WHEN YOU DRIVE IT! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/196495.html


FATHER OF THE YEAR NOMINEE - MORON WEIGHTLIFTER HEFTS HUGE WEIGHT WITH JUNIOR STRAPPED TO HIS CHEST! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196496.html


IRAN DEFACES BRITISH EMBASSY JUST BEFORE IT RE-OPENED AFTER AGREEMENT SIGNED! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196378.html


STRANGE REWARD FOR LOST DOG - REDUCED FROM $20 TO $10 BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/196478.html


MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL FAN FUN - FOUL BALL BOUNCES INTO NONCHALANT FANS HAND - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/196479.html


SOCIAL MEDIA ITEMS - WOMEN'S LOGIC - TEXT ME SO I CAN IGNORE YOU? - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/196480.html


STRANGE VEHICLES - GOOFY PEDI-CAB IN INDIA LOOKS LIKE A HELICOPTER! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/196482.html


STRANGE FUN TOYS - TURN THAT LONG STAIRCASE INTO A FUN SLIDE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196483.html


STRANGE OLDE CELEBRITIES - BETTY BROSMER - THE GIRL WITH THE AMAZINGLY THIN WAIST! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/196484.html


STRANGE GYMNASTIC EVENTS - FAT GIRL DOES A HEADER TRYING THE VAULTING - AMAZING ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196487.html


WHY I LOST MY JOB SERIES - RAILROAD ENGINEER LOCKED THE BREAKS AND SPUN THE LOCOMOTIVE WHEELS WEARING HUGE GROOVES INTO RAILS! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/196485.html


STRANGE EMERGENCY EQUIPMENT DESIGNED BY IDIOTS! - DIAL 911 FOR HELP! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/196486.html


COOL AERIAL PHOTO OF BURNING MAN FESTIVAL - 70,000 FUN CRAZIES - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196488.html


STRANGE POLICE ITEMS - CHICAGO POLICE HOMICIDE SQUAD MAY WANT TO RETHINK COFFEE CUP QUOTE! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/196490.html


STRANGE SELFIES - HANGING FROM A ROPE UNDER A HOT AIR BALLOON - CRAZY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/196491.html


STRANGE DEATH RELATED ITEMS - INVENTOR OF THE FRISBEE WAS CREMATED AND MADE INTO FRISBEES AFTER HE DIED! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/196493.html


STRANGE HEDGES AND TOPIARY'S - COOL GREEN TREE NIKE SNEAKER! SWOOSH AND ALL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196494.html


AMAZING ROCK STAR TEEN PIXS - TAYLOR SWIFT WHEN SHE WAS A TEEN - AND TODAY! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/196497.html


==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - Strange Business Buildings - Companies - Vehicles - Designs

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/100435_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Top 10 Celebrities who Invented Interesting Things - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196275.html


- Strange "Banana" Information - Super Fruit! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/116413.html


- Top 10 Car Accident Reasons - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172790.html


- Strange Inventors and Inventions - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/175332.html


- How To Insult a Fellow In a Nice Way - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/172222.html


- The Strange History of Slinkys - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172935.html


==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - Strange Business Buildings - Companies - Vehicles - Designs

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/112_1.html

==================================

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VOL 1458 - Sept. 06, 2015 - 40 Things NEVER Said by Southerners

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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September Fun !


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Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Strange Truths: MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule states, "Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

9. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

10. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.

11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and
he will sit in a boat all day drinking.

12. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

13. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

==================================

Today's Featured Humor :-) - 40 Things NEVER Said by Southerners


23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.

19. Trim the fat off that steak.

18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

17. The tires on that truck are too big.

16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

15. I've got it all on the C drive.

14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?

12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

09. Checkmate.

08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

05. I don't have a favorite college team.

04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.


See ALL 40 Here: http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/23137.html#theContent


==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

COOL MILITARY AIRCRAFT - F18 SQUADRON - FLIGHT OVER CARIBBEAN ISLAND - LEAD PLANE COOL PAINT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196377.html


MISS UNIVERSE 2015 - ASHLEY BURNHAM FROM CANADA! WOW! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/196425.html


STRANGE RACING WORLD RECORDS - THE JET POWERED THRUST SSC - 1ST CAR TO BREAK THE SOUND BARRIER - 763 MPH 10-15-97 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/196429.html


STRANGE OLDE BUSINESS ADVERTISING - WD-40 1964 ADVERTISING WAS REALLY FUNNY AND A LITTLE BIT DIRTY! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/196430.html


AMAZING MILITARY PHOTOS - WWII PARATROOPER SQUAD IN AIRPLANE READY TO JUMP AND SAME PARATROOPERS TODAY! - WOW - GREAT SHOT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196432.html


GOLF DISASTERS - DAMN - HOLE-IN-ONE ---------NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/196434.html


FIGHTING FOREST FIRES IN SPAIN - BELL 412 HELICOPTER GRABS WATER FROM HOME SWIMMING POOL TO FIGHT GRASS FIRE! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/196435.html


STRANGE FIRE DANGERS - AMAZING TELEPHONE POLE TRANSFORMER EXPLODES AFTER WATER-MAIN BREAK SPOUT UP! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196436.html


STRANGE FLYING VEHICLES - 54 PERSONAL DRONES HOOKED TOGETHER TO LIFT ITS INVENTOR! - THE QUINQUAINTIQUADRICOPTER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196437.html


WORLDS UNLUCKIEST WOMAN - PORCUPINE FELL FROM TREE ONTO HER HEAD! - 200 NASTY QUILLS STUCK IN HER SCALP! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/196438.html


NAVAL WARSHIP SLIDES DOWN LAUNCH RAMP INTO THE WATER FOR FINAL CONSTRUCTION - FUN ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/196439.html


STRANGE OLDE HISTORICAL PICTURES - MARILYN MONROE'S SEXY SKIN TIGHT DRESS FOR JOHN F KENNEDY'S FAMOUS HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOLO! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196441.html


WHY I LOST MY JOB SERIES - BARISTA WHO HAS TROUBLE WITH SPELLING NAMES ON THE COFFEE CUPS! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/196449.html


STRANGE SPORTS REPORTS - TV NEWSCREW SIMULATE Wii CURLING CHALLENGE - SCARY! - FUNNY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangeCcosmos.com/content/item/196450.html


STRANGE TOYS - TOTALLY PIMPED OUT TRICYCLE - GOLF WITH FENDER SKIRTS BLINK - HORNS - EVERYTHING! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/196451.html


STRANGE EARTH FORMATIONS - AMAZING VOLCANO IN THE CENTER OF THE SAHARA DESERT WITH AN OASIS INDIE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/196448.html


STRANGE CELEBRITY HISTORY - ELVIS REJECTED JOINING SCIENTOLOGY! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/196446.html


STRANGE ROCK FORMATIONS - THE EMPRESS OF URUGUAY - THE WORLDS LARGEST AMETHYST! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/196445.html



==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - AMPHIBIOUS CARS, VEHICLES, AIRPLANES - THEY FLOAT!

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100739_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Strange Stories Of The World's Luckiest People - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/196264.html


- Federal Judge: Illegal Immigrant And Convicted Felon Can't Be Deported Because He's Transgender - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/196440.html


- A Soldier's Final Inspection - Poem - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/174711.html


- QUIZ: How Dirty is Your Mind? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/21384.html


- Things We Said in 1959 - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/21259.html


- Strange Oxy-Moronic Questions - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/175111.html


==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - AMPHIBIOUS CARS, VEHICLES, AIRPLANES - THEY FLOAT!

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/116_1.html

==================================

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

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VOL 1457 - Sept. 02, 2015 - Strange Tests - Draw a Pig - What Your Picture Means!

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

August Fun !


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

==================================

Strange "Male Perspectives on Marriage"

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." Anonymous

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Draw a Pig - What your Picture Means

On a sheet of paper, draw a picture of a pig.
Do your best.

Then scroll down and read the rest of this message.
Don't cheat, because if you do it won't work.
Draw the pig first and just follow the instructions, it won't take but a minute.

Have fun. This is quite interesting! You must not scroll down until you have drawn the pig.

Draw your picture. No cheating now. You will find this very interesting if you draw your picture first!
*******************************************************






YOU'RE CHEATING! DRAW THE FRIGGIN PIG!!!





IT RUINS THE JOKE IF YOU DON'T DRAW THE PIG. IT
DOESN'T HAVE TO LOOK GOOD. JUST DO IT. IT'LL TAKE 20 SECONDS.






YOU'LL BE SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T DRAW THE PIG.

*******************************************************



The pig serves as a useful test of the personality traits of the drawer.
If the pig is drawn:

Toward the top of the paper, you are positive and optimistic.
Toward the middle, you are a realist.
Toward the bottom, you are pessimistic, and have a tendency to behave negatively.

Facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates (birthdays, etc.)
Facing right, you are innovative and active, but don't have a strong sense of family, nor do you remember dates.
Facing front (looking at you), you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.

With many details, you are analytical, cautious, and distrustful.
With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk-taker.

With less than 4 legs showing, you are insecure or are living through a period of major change.
With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals.

The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. The bigger the better.

The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life!!!! (And again more is better!)

OK, SO WHO DIDN'T DRAW A TAIL ????


==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

NASTY SPORTS INJURIES - BLONDE FIGURE SKATER DOES PAINFUL FACE PLANT ON ICE - OUCH! ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196376.html


STRANGE VEHICLES - WORLD'S LARGEST SOLAR POWERED CATAMARAN - THE "TURANOR" - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/196408.html


STRANGE HOLLYWOOD SECRETS - JUDGE JUDY MAKES $45 MILLION PER YEAR - WORKS ONLY 52 DAYS! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/196409.html


STRANGE SUPERSTITIONS IN VERMONT - CRAZY WINDOWS ARE COMMON - LOCALS BELIEVE WITCHES CAN'T FLY THRU SLANTED WINDOWS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196410.html


STRANGE FUNERAL IN MEXICO - STATION WAGON HOLDS COFFIN AND 3 CASES OF CORONA BEER! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/196413.html


MILITARY FUN - FATHER SURPRISES 9 YR OLD DAUGHTER AT SCHOOL COMING HOME EARLY - WOW - WHAT A REACTION! - WILD ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/196412.html


STRANGE PRODUCTS - CRAZY SWISS CHEESE TOILET SEAT AND LID - WHY? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196415.html


STRANGE CELEBRITY ROCK STARS - MILEY CYRUS - REVERSE PUBERTY? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196416.html


STRANGE NEW RACING SPORT - DOWNHILL DIRT TRACK BARBIE & KEN TOY CAR RACING - CRAZY FUN! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196417.html


STRANGE OLDE HISTORICAL PICTURES - 1964 U.S. CHESS PRODIGY BOBBY FISHER PLAYING 50 OPPONENTS SIMULTANEOUSLY AT THE HOLLYWOOD HOTEL ON 4-12-64 - HE WON 47, LOST 1, DREW 2! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/196418.html


STRANGE CLOSE-UP ACTION GIF OF TATTOO NEEDLE POUNDING BLACK INTO AN ARM - WOW! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/196419.html


STRANGE FOOD FUN - BABY FOOD JAR WITH FUNNY MESSAGE - GRANDPA'S SUNDAY LUNCH! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/196420.html


FOREST FIRE DANGERS - NATL FOREST SERVICE IN IDAHO PROTECTING LOOKOUT & CABINS FROM FIRES - WRAPPING IN ALUMINUM FOIL! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/196421.html


STRANGE STRETCH MONSTER TRUCK - 6 SHOTS OF CRAZY DESERT DESIGN! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/196422.html


STRANGE WARZONE FACTS - SYRIANS STACK OLD BUSES ON END TO STOP SNIPER FIRE! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/196424.html


STRANGE SOCIAL MEDIA ITEMS - CRAZY BLONDE STABS BOYFRIEND FOR NOT LIKING HER INSTAGRAM SELFIE FAST ENOUGH! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/196423.html


STRANGE PRODUCTS TO MEMORIALIZE DEAD PEOPLE - TURNS CREMATED ASHES INTO DIAMONDS! - MOUNTED RING - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/195827.html


AMAZING BATTLESHIP USS MISSOURI BB-63 MADE FROM LEGOS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/196375.html


==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - CARS - CORVETTES - VETTES - STINGRAYS - T-TOPS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100667_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- The Strange Story of Red Bulls Creation and History! - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/196207.html


- Strange Truisms About Golf and Golfers - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/180229.html


- Top 25 Most Famous REDHEADS in History - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/168649.html


- Strange Facts and History of St Louis. - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/168663.html


- Funny 'Senior' Classified Ads! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/131879.html


- Strange but True Baseball Injuries - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/134066.html


==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - CARS - CORVETTES - VETTES - STINGRAYS - T-TOPS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263

http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/

------------------------------------------------------------

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites


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