Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: April 2007

Sonntag, 29. April 2007

Vol 585 - April 29, 2007 - Deep Thoughts from SuperModels

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

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INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Strange Quotations about Hollywood

It's a great place to live ... if you're an orange. - Fred Allen

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart. - Fred Allen

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Hollywood is a place where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing a ladder. - William Faulkner

Hollywood has always been a cage . . . a cage to catch our dreams. - John Huston

Hollywood is a place where the stars twinkle until they wrinkle. - Victor Mature

A trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat. - Wilson Mizner

Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you $50,000 for a kiss and 50 cents for your soul. - Marilyn Monroe

Hollywood, where an intrigue and a victim are born every time two people meet. - Terry Moore

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Deep Thoughts from SuperModels

1. ON COURAGE "They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind."
-- Cindy Crawford

2. ON SELF-KNOWLEDGE "Everywhere I went, my cleavage followed. But I learned I am not my cleavage."
-- Carole Mallory

3. ON POVERTY "Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery."
-- Beverly Johnson

4. ON FATE "I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I have to face that."
-- Christie Brinkley

5. ON PSYCHOLOGY "I loved making 'Rising Sun'. I got into the psychology of why she liked to get strangled and tied up in plastic bags. It has to do with low self-worth."
-- Tatjana Patitz

6. ON ARRIVING "Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take."
-- Kathy Ireland, star of 'Alien From L.A.' and 'Danger Island'

7. ON CAREER CHOICES "My boyfriend thinks I lost my true calling to be a librarian."
-- Paulina Porizkova

8. ON PRIORITIES "I would rather exercise than read a newspaper."
-- Kim Alexis

9. ON GEOPOLITICS "Mick Jagger and I just really liked each other a lot. We talked all night. We had the same views on nuclear disarmament."
-- Jerry Hall

10. ON INNER STRENGTH "I love the confidence that makeup gives me."
-- Tyra Banks

11. ON DEATH "Richard doesn't really like me to kill bugs, but sometimes I can't help it."
-- Cindy Crawford

12. ON TRAVEL "I haven't seen the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, the Louvre. I haven't seen anything. I don't really care."
-- Tyra Banks

13. ON BREAKTHROUGHS "Once I got past my anger toward my mother, I began to excel in volleyball and modeling."
-- Gabrielle Reece

14. ON EPIPHANY "I just found out that I'm one inch taller than I thought."
-- Christie Brinkley

15. ON HEREDITY "My husband was just OK looking. I was in labor and I said to him, 'What if she's ugly? You're ugly.'"
-- Beverly Johnson

16. ON THE BASICS "It's very important to have the right clothing to exercise in. If you throw on an old T-shirt or sweats, it's not inspiring for your workout."
-- Cheryl Tiegs

17. ON INTRODUCTIONS "I think most people are curious about what it would be like to be able to meet yourself -- it's eerie."
-- Christy Turlington

18. ON COURTSHIP "The soundtrack to 'Indecent Exposure' is a romantic mix of music that I know most women love to hear, so I never keep it far from me when women are nearby."
-- Fabio

19. ON PARADOX "Sometimes I get lonely, but it's nice to be alone."
-- Tatjana Patitz

==================================

Donnerstag, 26. April 2007

Vol 584 - April 25, 2007 - The Bible for Dummies

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

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Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Strange Quotes:

"You'll conquer the present, suspiciously fast

If you smell of the future, and stink of the past." -- Piet Hein

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To do, is to be. - Socrates

To be, is to do. - Aristotole

Do be do be do. - Sinatra

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - The Bible for Dummies

The Bible for Dummies

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information read only during the homily. 2. Catholic air conditioning. 3. Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELIEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. 2. The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass, consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass– led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

Submitted by Kelly H.

==================================

Montag, 23. April 2007

Vol 583 - April 22, 2007 - Strange 'CAKE' Personality Test

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

Check out the HOTEL Specials: http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

Or, Search any Other Destination! http://www.strangetravel.com/

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes - When Insults Had Class...

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to
the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to
Winston Churchill...followed by

Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will
attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - 'CAKE' Personality Test

Take this cake personality test; then, send this e-mail on to others.

When you send this e-mail on, put your cake in the subject box above. No cheating. Pick your cake then, look to see.

If you were buying a cake and you had your choice of the following, which would you choose:

Angel food

Brownies

Lemon Meringue

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing

Strawberry Short Cake

Chocolate on Chocolate

Ice Cream

Carrot Cake

NO...you can't change your mind once you scroll down So think carefully, what your choice will be!!!

OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what research says about you:

Angel food ... Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being child-like and immature at times.

Brownies... You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon Meringue... Smooth, sexy, &articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing ... Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in life, very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad, however, you are a friend for life.

Strawberry Short Cake... Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You can be overly-emotional and annoying at times.

Chocolate on Chocolate ... Sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Ice Cream... You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

Carrot Cake... You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. ! People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

==================================

Sonntag, 22. April 2007

News from The Smoking Gun

Dear Friends:

While it is now sadly clear why Virginia Tech gunman Cho Seung-Hui was recently buying ammunition clips on eBay, it is anyone's guess why the sullen psychopath last year was purchasing rubber duckies via the online auction giant. Yes, yellow rubber duckies. Story here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0422071cho1.html

On a day that mourners nationwide wore Virginia Tech's orange and maroon colors in a show of solidarity for massacre victims and their families, a man wearing a shirt with the school's logo was arrested Friday minutes after robbing a North Carolina bank. What a tribute:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0420073shirt1.html

Stop by our brand new video section for an assortment of government films, entertainment clips, and amusing newsreels. Really, where else can you get a tutorial on how to properly conduct a strip search of a federal prisoner. Yep, only at TSG TV:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/tsgtv/

Enter our prize contest for a shot at a quartet of James Bond movies and other fine loot. Just examine the document and figure out what the humiliated plaintiff allegedly had to fetch for Ms. Strasberg. Right this way, please:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/contest/contest.html

Regards,

Your pals at TSG

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 29. April 2007

Vol 585 - April 29, 2007 - Deep Thoughts from SuperModels

Donnerstag, 26. April 2007

Vol 584 - April 25, 2007 - The Bible for Dummies

Montag, 23. April 2007

Vol 583 - April 22, 2007 - Strange 'CAKE' Personality Test

Sonntag, 22. April 2007

News from The Smoking Gun

Freitag, 20. April 2007

Fart Turn up the folume

Play Guitar on your PC's keyboard

Cool Stuff from Amazon

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