Vol 985 - Feb. 27, 2011 - Strange Psychiatric Hotline Voice Mail

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see it shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. - Tim Allen

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code.....he turned himself in. - Rita Rudner

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked... - Bill Cosby

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." - Elayne Boosler

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Psychiatric Hotline Voice Mail

RING...RING...click

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE AIR-SHOW - 2 COMMERCIAL JETS FLYOVER BUCKINGHAM PALACE - ENGLAND - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/172693.html

STRANGE TAXI - PELICAN RIDES BACK OF GATOR! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/173168.html

STRANGE OLDE GAS STATIONS - 1950'S MOBILE STATION - PIKES PEAK RACER FILLS UP WITH PREMIUM - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/173298.html

STRANGE TRAFFIC DANGERS - OVERLOADED COMMERCIAL TRUCKS - CARS & BICYCLES - DUCT TAPE BLONDE! - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/172649.html

STRANGE 1946 FORD COE TRUCK - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/173206.html

STRANGE OLDE TRAVEL - REDWOOD PARK - WORLDS TALLEST ONE ROOM HOUSE - HIGHWAY 1580 - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/173319.html

STRANGE GREEN CATERPILLAR - HUGE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/172902.html

STRANGE US DOLLAR BILLS FROM THE PAST - 1890 - $100.00 TREASURY NOTE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/173040.html

STRANGE SPORTS - REFEREE UPSET WITH COACH - GIVES HER THE EYE - http://www.strangecosmosl.com/content/item/173363.html

STRANGE SPORTS - STRANGE SHOTGUN - REVOLVER TYPE CHAMBER - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/173366.html

STRANGE SPORTS - STRANGE SOCCER GOAL - OFF HIS NECK! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/173371.html

STRANGE FRONT WHEEL DRIVE -1966 OLDSMOBILE TORONADO - MOTOR TREND CAR OF THE YEAR - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/173248.html

STRANGE FIRE - SCARY IMAGE EMERGES FROM SMOKE! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/173139.html

AUSTRALIAN LIFE GUARD CHAMPIONSHIPS - RESCUE BOAT FLIES THROUGH THE SURF! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/173153.html

BEAUTIFL WORLD PICTURES WITH GREAT MUSIC - PPS PRESENTATION - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/173276.html

STRANGE OLDE TRAVELING BAND BUS - 1935 MOVIE -"STOLEN HARMONY" - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/173278.html

GOLF HOLE #1 - NUMBER 16 - TPC SCOTTSDALE - 20,000 DRUNKS & CORP TENTS - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/172823.html

STRANGE OLDE AUTOS - 1955 GAYLORD - RETRACTABLE HARDTOP - 1 - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/173282.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - * COOL - Airplanes - Unique - Strange - Neat Stuff

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/9_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Halloween History - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/173230.html

Real Names of Celebrities - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/112479.html

25 Strange Resume' Blunders - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/139080.html

Words You Hear A Lot in the Office and Their Strange Origins - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/138319.html

Strange Traffic Cop Responses - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/111173.html

Official Celebrity Bra Size List - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/109887.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - * COOL - Airplanes - Unique - Strange - Neat Stuff

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

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HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

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[b3ta] "Putting ha-lol-cigens in your Nescafe"

 

This Week:
* OSCARS - 'Winners' in advance
* FEAR - The Great American Bubble
* LASERS - Laser kitten bowling

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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're stockpiling
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | food and medical
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| supplies... together"

B3ta email 468DX - 25 Feb 2011

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue468/

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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: SPONSORED LINK
Bummer King mug

Typing "bummer" into Amazon out of adject bordem
produces a trademark infringing Bummer King mug.
An ideal gift for the tea-drinking bummers in
your life.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B004JV7NRO/b3ta-21

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Viral fails, Oscars and Protests

>> How not to do viral marketing <<
Viral marketer comes a bit of a cropper trying
to spam up the b3ta messageboard. Satisfying
drama ensues. FYI: the correct way to do this
involves writing us a cheque.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/595011

>> Oscars 2011 Highlights In Advance! <<
"Heya guys," chorus Cope&Dalton. "We made this
over the weekend. What do you reckon?" We
predict that this is considerably more
entertaining than the real event will be.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Oscars_2011_Highlights_In_Advance

>> Face Protest <<
"Here's a new kind of protest site that lets you
put your face on it," jubilates ithinkanddo.
Choose your cause, upload a pic and get your
friends to join a foot-stamping online mob. You
don't even need to leave the house, so the only
kettling you'll see is when your missus makes
you a cuppa.
http://www.faceprotest.com/protest_56_97

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Wanking Disasters - Part II

More comedy gold from our favourite one-handed
typists:
http://b3ta.com/questions/bashthebishop/

* AFTERGLOW - "I travelled around Morocco with a
group of friends, including my mega crush, Mr
Hot. After a few action-less weeks of dorm
sharing, we ended up in the deepest, darkest
depths of the desert and yours truly found
herself in the happy position of having to share
a twin room with Mr Hot. When it came to
sleepy-time, we chatted a little, the chat
petered out and I assumed Mr Hot must have
drifted off to sleep. Bored, sleepless and horny
(not to mention disappointed at the absence of
steamy sex), I decided to pass the time with a
little lady wank. I was slightly bashful about
doing this with Mr Hot in the room so I made a
concealing sheet-tent with my leg, so no
movement could be detected and silently began.
I'll admit, it was surprisingly difficult to get
into it with an unsuspecting, sleeping Mr Hot so
close by and after only a short while I gave up,
only to be met with a chuckle from his side of
the room. I froze, "What's funny?" "You know,
it's actually quite light in here." I'd been
fwapping with my eyes closed, so tentatively
opened them and sure enough I could see the
outline of the wardrobe and beds. Gulp. Now, due
to my cunning tent, I was still pretty sure he
couldn't possibly have seen anything but I had
to know. I put my leg back up, re-erected the
tent and slowly, silently slid my hand south.
Looked down and... oh god. I was wearing a glow
in the dark watch that was shining like a
bastard searchlight through the sheet." (zOMG)

* COCK UP - "The first time that an ex of mine
and I got comfortable enough to watch each other
pleasing ourselves, he managed to shoot his
stuff right up my nose. It stung rather
strangely, I sort of hiccuped and it went down
the back of my nose and into my throat... I
threw up. Definitely a disaster."
(insomniac-surfer)

* COME-DOWN - "Passed out naked in front of the
computer, trousers round ankles, bottle of vodka
still on the desk, gentleman's interest video
still running on loop. Woke up in different
clothes to the ones I'd been wearing beforehand,
my dad watching over me to make sure I didn't
choke on my vomit in my sleep. Apparently I'd
been quite... explosive. We don't talk about it.
Ever." (a gun that fires other, smaller guns)

>> This Week's Question <<
Parents. Drunk. We know you've tried to wipe the
memories and failed. Share them with us instead
- you'll feel so much better:
http://b3ta.com/questions/drunkparents/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> The Great American Bubble <<
We've been pondering how sites like Groupon and
the makers of Farmville can get multi-billion
dollar valuations and reached the obvious
conclusion: bubble. Businesses being overhyped
to suck cash from idiots before they crash and
burn. A quick google round revealed one of the
most extraordinary bits of journalism we've ever
read. Be very afraid, looks like we're up shit
creek.
http://goo.gl/RlWvw

>> Eerie photos <<
Creepy tourist spots created from 100s of
layered tourist photos.
http://bit.ly/gvg7CC

>> Plastic Trombones <<
Our whim purchase of the week - a plastic
trombone. It's incredibly light and would be an
ideal learning instrument for kids, as carrying
it to school wouldn't break your back. And roll
on new crazy, plastic instrument designs -
personally we want a cello with guitar tuning
and frets.
http://www.pbone.co.uk/

>> David Cameron pretending to be common <<
Although we find him these days oddly robotic,
like someone who's been given a script five
minutes before the job. "Tell them you're sorry
Dave." "Sell these missiles Dave" "Cut up the
NHS and divert all the cash to private contracts
Dave"
http://davidcameronpretendingtobecommon.tumblr.com/

>> Remember cyber sex? <<
Do people still bother with this stuff now you
can stalk people on social media and have a
better idea of the looks/gender of your prey?
But some funny examples regardless.
http://people.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew/funny/bloodcyber.html

>> Bank vs customer. Customer wins. <<
A heartwarming tale of how a bank customer
managed to get his local branch and its assets
siezed and put up for auction because they
couldn't be bothered to fix an error & ignored
all his letters. Warning: contains goths.
http://goo.gl/VRKPZ

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like TV but no comfy chair

* LASER KITTEN BOWLING - we once bought a laser
pen for a presentation and found (like everyone
else) the best fun is to make the cat run around
the house until they throw up. Also works on
small children.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Lazer_kitty_bowling

* E.T. SEQUEL - a surprisingly well-done fake
trailer. BTW: ET was based on Steven Speilburg's
imaginary friend, an alien he invented after his
parents divorce.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/ET_Sequel_ET_X

* THE SAGA OF BIORN - elderly Viking just wants
to find a glorious death in battle so he can go
to Valhalla. Is that too much to ask?
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_saga_of_Biorn

* BEATLES 'SMACK MY BITCH UP' (1965) - This
track is clearly more Lennon than McCartney.
http://goo.gl/nF1lP

* DARTH VADER PLAYS THE BULLSEYE THEME - the
dark lord of the Sith deploys another string to
his sinister bow.
http://goo.gl/5qPHz

* THE HIV SONG - Oh no, Mark's got AIDS!
Eastenders spin on the Ween classic.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_HIV_Song

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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Best nominative determinism ever

Introducing E-Learning bloke Graham McElearney.
Bet you he uses a Mac:
http://www.educause.edu/Community/MemDir/Profiles/GrahamMcElearney/58244

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Film Aftermath Challenge

Last week we asked what happened to the
inhabitants of films after the credits rolled.
Your favourites included:

* VACATION - in which Han, Chewie, Luke, Leia
and Yoda take a well-earned break (Zak McFlimby)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10339721

* CAPTCHA - filling in forms can be tough when
you're a replicant (monkeon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10342997

* KANSAS - almost inevitably, life was never the
same for Dorothy after her amazing adventure
(Captain Howdy)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10338732

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/aftermath/

>> New challenge: Kitten Science <<
This week's challenge marks a welcome return for
Teh Fluffeh. It's Kittens doing science.
Challenge suggested by joe is troubled
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/kittenscience/

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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* DELAYED EMAILS - Taylorcamb writes, "Delayed
Gmail sending and bouncing emails back in to
your mailbox to deal with later can be done with
the boomerang plugin for Firefox or Chrome."
http://boomeranggmail.com/download.html

* MUZZLE MAN - the creator of last week's
extraordinarily odd horse-fearing vid,
kingafkong writes, "Being followed by a horse
lately, I thought a trip to the stable would be
a safe place. But this day would show to be no
different from the rest of our
horse-meeting-days." This is a competition entry
and kingaf stands to win some coveted Norwegian
frozen pizza, so get appreciating!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_muzzle_man_Metaphysics

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* CRAP NEWS STORIES BEFORE THEY HAPPEN - every
so often we google a journalist and find them
posting away on random boards trolling for
stories, "Hi, I'm looking for people who've had
bad experience of marijuana" etc. This could be
turned into a tech project - take all the journo
names from Journalisted and auto search them in
the web's forums.

* TAX HAVENS FOR THE POOR - make a magic
shuffle-your-money-about-through-tax-havens
banking website (automatically registering you
as a foreign business etc) that'll give
individuals the same 1% tax breaks big
businesses get.

* PLAN TO TAKE OUT THE DAILY MAIL - we were
pondering about the problem of complaining about
it only making it more famous, increasing its
revenues and came up with:
1. Start a not-for-profit and collect money
2. Crowd source spotting legal issues,
copyright, libel that they publish
3. use cash to chase DM into a legal quagmire
and eventual bankruptcy. Just a thought.

* AND FINALLY Chthonic suggests, "Having just
seen one, fat-man-in-a-mini-van.tumblr.com would
be an ace ronseal site."

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by MartinH, HappyToast,
igotdamaged, PokeHQ, sinisterduck, shooms,
planearm, m4tt_thomasgiagia, @rob_sheridan,
Godwin's Lawyer & tacpprm. Additional linkage
and image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike
Trinder is QOTW bloke. Subjline via
@alexjblandford.

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TOP TIP:
Make ants think they're in New Zealand by
putting them on top of a big stereo speaker and
turning the bass up to 11. (A Vagabond)

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Vol 984 - Feb. 23, 2011 - 20 Special 'Southernisms'

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange "Horse" Quotes:

Half the failures of this world arise from pulling in one's horse as he is leaping.
- Augustus Hare

I don't mind where people make love, so long as they don't do it in the street and frighten the horses. - Mrs. Patrick Campbell

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

The human mind is not rich enough to drive many horses abreast and wants one general scheme, under which it strives to bring everything. - George Santayana

Science is not a sacred cow. Science is a horse. Don't worship it. Feed it. - Aubrey Eben

All you need for happiness is a good gun, a good horse, and a good wife. - Daniel Boone

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. - Naomi, 15 Advice from Kids

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - 20 Special 'Southernisms'

1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, --
you "PITCH" them.

2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.
They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'.. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE TRAFFIC DANGERS - OVERLOADED COMMERCIAL TRUCKS - CARS & BICYCLES - FRUITS! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/172646.html

ROAD TRIP - INSANE 5 CIRCLE TRAFFIC CIRCLE - ENGLAND - THIS IS CRAZY! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/173007.html

CAIRO EGYPT RIOT SQUAD KICKS PROTESTER IN FACE AS HE WALK BY! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/173011.html

AMAZING PPS PRESENTATION OF RUSSIAN CHURCHES AND CATHEDRALS - WITH MUSIC! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/173218.html

STRANGE US DOLLAR BILLS FROM THE PAST - $100,000 BILL - WOODROW WILSON - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/173037.html

STRANGE US DOLLAR BILLS FROM THE PAST - $1.00 DOLLAR SILVER CERTIFICATE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/173039.html

MOSCOW AUTOMOBILE MUSEUM - 1958 ZUNDAPP JANUS - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/172722.html

BRITNEY SPEARS IN HER WALMARTIAN OUTFIT - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/172924.html

WHAT'S HOTTER THAN WOMENS VOLLEYBALL? TRIPLE BLOCK - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/173099.html

DRUNK & PASSED OUT! - CLEVER SCULPTURES AND ARTWORK - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/173124.html

STRANGE SEARCHLIGHT TRUCK - BATMAN SHADOW! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/173130.html

STRANGE BENT VOLKSWAGEN CAMPER VAN - 2 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/173135.html

CLASSIC OLDE PIXS - 1959 WORLD SERIES - LA DODGERS vs CHICAGO WHITE SOX - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/173137.html

STRANGE DUBROVNIK 100TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION - HUNDREDS OF RED FLARES AT MIDNIGHT! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/173138.html

US NAVY AIRCRAFT CARRIER DWIGHT D EISENHOWER CVN 69 TRANSITS SUEZ CANAL - EGYPT - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/173140.html

IT'S SNOW FUN! - HUGE 'KIZZ' SNOW SCULPTURE - LONG TONGUE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/172797.html

STRANGE WINTER SNOW ART - DOWNHILL SKIERS CREATE PATTERNS ON DOWNHILL SLOPES - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/173154.html

PAULA ABDUL - UNDERINFLATED! PSI PROBLEM? - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/172816.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - AIRCRAFT - JETS - FIGHTERS - ATTACK AIRCRAFT

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/100041_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Actual Calls Received at a Public Golf Course - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/173217.html

10 Strange Cannibalism Stories - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/173227.html

Top 10 Strangest Food Facts - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/173228.html

Strange Myths and Misconceptions - No Swimming For An Hour After You Eat - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/173229.html

The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/127884.html

Top 15 Strangest Coincidences - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/126470.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - AIRCRAFT - JETS - FIGHTERS - ATTACK AIRCRAFT

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/136_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

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Vol 983 - Feb. 20, 2011 - Letters of Recommendation Phrases

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes about Cats & Teenagers:

For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats:

1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.

2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.

3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.

4. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.

5. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Letters of Recommendation Phrases

Have to write a letter of recommendation for that fired employee? - Here are a few suggested phrases:

For the chronically absent:
"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed her career was just taking off."

For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."
"Every hour with him was a happy hour."

For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."

For a stupid employee:
"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."
"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."

For a dishonest employee:
"Her true ability was deceiving."
"He's an unbelievable worker."

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

MOUNTAIN DRIVING HAZARDS - HUNDREDS OF SHEEP ON THE ROAD AND IN THE TUNNELS! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/172978.html

IMPORTANT DATING TOOL - EX-GIRLFRIEND RADAR! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172993.html

STRANGE LADY BASEBALL FAN - STANDING IN THE POURING RAIN! - MORE BEER! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/172997.html

ROAD TRIP - COOL HIGHWAY CUT THROUGH HILLS AND FOREST - ENJOY THE VIEW! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/173005.html

ROAD TRIP - COOL HIGHWAY - THIS IS KANSAS - ENJOY THE VIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/173006.html

STRANGE & GOOFY MAILBOXES - CREATIVE ART WORK - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172502.html

SNOW FUN - CANADIANS THUMB THEIR NOSE AT AUTHORITY! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/173008.html

STRANGE PARK BENCH - COIN OPERATED WITH SPIKES! SIT AT YOUR OWN PERIL! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/173009.html

STRANGE GREEN GRASSHOPPER LIKE INSECT - HUGE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/172901.html

STRANGE HOME MADE "HELMETS' - PROTESTERS CAIRO EGYPT - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/173012.html

DRINKING AND DATING - A 2:00 O'CLOCK 10! - JUST DRINK ENOUGH TEQUILA! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/173014.html

STRANGE US DOLLAR BILLS FROM THE PAST - 1896 - $2.00 SILVER CERTIFICATE - WOMEN & CHILDREN PICTURED - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/173049.html

PRINCESS LEAH HANDS LUKE SKYWALKER A BEER IN X-WING FIGHTER - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/172920.html

MOSCOW AUTOMOBILE MUSEUM - 1959 EDSEL RANGER - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/172720.html

SOPHIA LOREN - AMAZING - TURNS 76 YEARS OLD! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172923.html

IT'S SNOW FUN! - SOUTH PARK SNOWMEN KIDS IN FRONT YARD! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/172796.html

BEING BRITISH IS CONFUSING! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172959.html

OLDE WEST PHOTOS - STAGECOACH - MANY PASSENGERS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172964.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - BRIDGES - HIGHWAYS - TUNNELS - SCARY ROADS AND DETOURS

http://www.strangedangers.com/content/category/100676_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Confucius Didn't Say................. - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/172976.html

Whatever Happened To Actor Woody Harrelson? - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/172938.html

Strange Glossary - American vs English Meanings - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/119405.html

Strange Actual Excerpts From Student Science Exam Papers - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/118897.html

Strange Laws and Other Useless Information - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/118510.html

Strange Celebrities Who Are Missing Fingers - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/117637.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - BRIDGES - HIGHWAYS - TUNNELS - SCARY ROADS AND DETOURS

http://www.strangedangers.com/content/category/102_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "B3ta newsletter - the bits of the web that aren't Justin fucking Bieber"

 

This Week:
* STUTTER - The King's Rap
* DRUNK - Toddler rampage
* SICKBAG - Royal wedding souvenir

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |    "We're dobbing you     
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |    in to the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|    social... together"

B3ta email 467 - 18 Feb 2011

Read this issue. Go on, you shit!
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue467/

      Re-elect:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Overthrow:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
 
-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
 Knob Creek whiskey

 Piss. We haven't sold an ad therefore we're
going to linky up some shit on Amazon. This
week's lucky product we're picking because it
has a silly name, although, truth be told, booze
makes our knob leak more than creak.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B003ZIP086/b3ta-21

 >> Sponsor B3ta <<
 Don't be a twat, buy an ad. (tm)
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
 Vintage pics, Horses, Choices, Kettling and The King's Speech
 
 >> Historic StreetView <<
"Way back in an April 2010 newsletter, you said
you'd like to see a world-wide google map of
vintage photography," accuses Adam. "We've
tried to build that, with fading transitions
from 'then' to 'now' in StreetView. It's mostly
US-centric, apart from a handful of shots in
the UK, but we'd love for that to change!"
http://whatwasthere.com/b/3890

 >> Unexpected horse <<
"We were on the flea market buying compact
cassettes when a horse showed up from nowhere,"
exclaims kingafkong. "Luckily we had our trusty
baking tray with us. We saved the day." Good
comic timing.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_muzzle_man_Flea_market

 
 >> It's not a game, it's a toy <<
 Mental little multiple choice thing made by
theBaboon. "Enjoy!" he hoots.
http://baboon.co.il/mitoza/
 

 >> Kettling game <<
"I made a game about being kettled for when
you're being kettled," explains
Tarka_the_Frotter. "It's called... Metakettle."
Looks like it might genuinely be fun to play on
a long, dull weekend penned in by the fuzz.
http://terrorbullgames.co.uk/metakettle

 >> The King's Rap <<
Dan Bull deftly leaps on the King's Speech
bandwagon, sadly just a little too late to win
a BAFTA for best rap-related film tie-in. "I
spent Valentine's Day making this," confesses
Dan. "Yes, amazingly, I am single."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Kings_Rap

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
 Little Victories

 Last week we asked for the pathetically tiny
 victories that you'd achieved. The more
 pathetically tiny the better. And these are so
 wonderfully pathetic:
http://b3ta.com/questions/littlevictories/

 * HOLES - "A while ago, the people who make
   Polo mints brought out "Polo Holes", which
   were supposedly the bits that were stamped
   out of the middle. I was a schoolboy at the
   time and my English homework was to write a
   letter of complaint. I chose to complain about
   Polo Holes as the definition of a hole is a
   cavity; nothingness so by that measure the
   packet should be empty. How disappointed I was
   to find these white things in the packet. I
   promised not to take the case to trading
   standards if they sent me a years supply.
   Genius. Well-written letter, no harm done.
   Except teacher decided to mail it. Several
   days pass and I receive an unexpected parcel
   at home. Inside was a wholesale packet of
   polo tubes with one noticeable difference:
   all the packets were empty. Yes, EMPTY! The
   enclosed letter explained. We are sorry for
   your disappointment - we'd hate to fall below
   your expectations again, so we've enclosed a
   sizable supply of your definition of 'holes'.
   Don't eat them all at once!"
   (sunray18)
   
 * DRAG RACE - "In the days of yuppies and affordable
   petrol, before anyone had ever heard of global
   warming, I used to drive a clapped-out Jaguar
   XJS; something a bit classier than the usual
   loutish Essex boy racer cars of my contemporaries.
   At about 3am I'm driving home from London after
   a long night at work, and I pull up at a set of
   lights on the outskirts of Romford. There are
   three lanes, me in the middle and, on my left,
   a proper Essex wide boy in a silver Porsche 911.
   He starts revving like mad, inching forward in
   stops and starts, and shouting something at me.
   I look over to my right, where there are two
   young-ish blokes in a fairly fast-looking Ford
   Sierra. With a tip of my head, I indicate the
   Porsche driver and, with a barely perceptible
   nod, the passenger shows he understands perfectly.
   A few tense, adrenaline-filed moments pass before
   the light goes amber. Either side of me, I hear
   squeals whilst I sit there until the green and
   gently waft off into the night to the strains
   of the BBC World Service. The Porsche spins its
   wheels and heads for the horizon at an insane pace.
   The Sierra also waits a moment for the passenger
   to briefly tip his hat to me, before it too zooms
   into the night with as much zest and urgency as
   the Porsche, but with slightly more blue flashing
   lights on top."
   (Andy_R)
  
 * DRUG BUST - "I'm 19. I have long hair. I am
   flouncing down the street in Kingston Upon
   Thames. It is 1992. I have a cold. I blow my
   nose and put the snotty hankie in my pocket
   just as I turn a corner. A police van full of
   Met coppers are watching me. As I pass the
   van, one says, 'Oi! Hippy... What did you
   just put in your pocket?' 'A snot rag,' I reply.
   'Empty your pockets.' I do. I hand him my
   very full snot rag. He opens it up, obviously
   hoping to find a kilo of cocaine. It's all my
   green snot. He tries to hand it me back. I
   say, 'I don't want it!' and walk off. All his
   copper mates are howling at him as he's left
   with a handful of my warm wet bogey-juice. My
   finest hour."
   (inactionman)

 >> This Week: Wanking Disasters Part II <<
 We'd like more of your stories of jerking the
 gherkin and double-clicking the mouse. Talk to
 us here, you tossers:
http://b3ta.com/questions/bashthebishop/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
 Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

 >> People then and now photos <<
A photo-meme that's been around on the web for
a  while now, is getting adults to recreate
their  childhood photos and showing them side
by side.  We blame ZeFrank, who runs
youngmenowme, but  artist Irina Werning is
taking the idea and  running with it. Her
attention to detail is  accurate to the point
of autism and the photos  are all the more
stunning for it.
http://irinawerning.com/back-to-the-fut/back-to-the-future/

 >> Royal Wedding Sickbag <<
 Hey, poor people! Don't worry about the
 government cuts and the potentially savings-
 destroying inflation! Wave your flags because
 some rich people are getting married!
 Thankfully a sickbag is at hand. We're going to
 need several, although mostly to wipe ourselves
 off after googling for Kate Middleton upskirt
 shots.
http://t.co/ixPyVGE

 >> Bollards of London <<
 We like street furniture, it's oddly
 fascinating. Thankfully there's people outthere
 who share our love. Although don't tell our
 friends, as this is pretty much one step up
 from bus spotting.
http://bollardsoflondon.blogspot.com/

 >> Sexy Pigeons <<
 Coo! Red-blooded bird fanciers will be flocking
 to this site. Pigeon chested you say? Oh yes...
http://sexypigeons.com/


 >> Ninja zombie times tables <<
 You know those moments when you find yourself
 wondering just how awesome an Abraham
 Lincoln/Platypus crossbreed would be? Well
 wonder no more with the handy Times Table of
 Awesomeness! Ideal thing to print out to give
 your kids nightmares.
http://goo.gl/jhjG2

 >> I'm Brian Partridge - Aha! <<
 Remember when text-to-speech software made all
 your documents sound like they were being read
 by Prof Stephen Hawking or his sister? Polish
 developers Ivona have now created a whole new
 range of voices for your listening pleasure -
 particularly Brian, who sounds uncannily like
 Linton Travel Tavern's most famous guest. And
 is it just us, or could Jan from Poland be the
 dwarf from Twin Peaks?
http://www.ivona.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Stuff that wobbles about on the screen

 >> Peter Wyngarde's Rape song <<
 Wyngarde is best known for two things. 1)
 playing the character Jason King on some 70s TV
 show and 2) being arrested and convicted for an
 act of "gross indecency" in the toilets of
 Gloucester bus station. Let's make him famous
 for a third thing - singing a racist song about
 rape. Quite how anyone thought this was fit to
 release is beyond us.
http://bit.ly/d3q6af


 >> B3ta *hearts* Brett Domino <<
 Brett Domino is making a bit of a name for
 himself: a TV appearances on Britain's Got
 Talent; a recent chart placement at #29 for his
 song about Ben Goldacre's Girlfriend Gillian
 McKeith; and we're happy to see that, with all
 the attention he's getting, he's not forgotten
 his youtubey roots. This loving version of
 Prince's I Feel For You is a tribute to the
 wonderful keyboard sounds of the 80s. And the
 studied comedy with the red rose is perfect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUozg4n95xM

 >> Paint is pretty <<
 Simple yet so effective art created by pouring
 paint onto a plinth. Jacksons Pollock is
 kicking himself for not thinking of it. If he
 was still alive. He's probably in painter
 heaven shouting "POLLOCKS!"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Pretty_paint_is_pretty

 >> Dig deep: drama student's dirty protest <<
 "Please," begs Brent, who sent in this clip,
 "will someone come up with something that will
 get this out of my memory?" It's hard to say
 what's most disturbing about this short
 'documentary': the woman's very public scratch
 'n' sniff work, the nibbling that follows
 TWICE, or the fact that she carries on
 regardless, despite looking directly at the
 camera phone. Definitely enhanced by the
 stunned laughter of the guy in the foreground.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nweI9XYTfcQ

 >> Drunk toddler vs. puppets <<
 Trudi Tilley and Kate Pearson both
 mailed us this awesome vid of a baby getting
 shitfaced in a restaurant, eating the other
 diners' food, coughing bits of sausage up over
 strangers and then tearing up the joint. Tough
 to imagine how the full 14-minute movie will
 manage to top this trailer for Las Palmas, a
 Scandinavian short film due to be released
 later this year, but we're fairly sure the
 hangover shits scene won't be pretty.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cds7lSHawAw

 >> 2,564 frames per second <<
 "Some new camera called the Phantom Flex,"
 writes combatcameraman, "capable of 1080p at
 2,800fps. Quite impressive." Certainly is,
 although if we were bored in a Vegas hotel
 room, we might have done more than turn taps on
 and off. Then again, given that the day rental
 rate for this baby is $3,000 and the buying
 price ranges from $50,000-$150,000, it might be
 too risky to expose it to the elements. "Now I
 just need to rob a bank and post you all some
 slow-mo kittens."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/2_564_Frames_Per_Second

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
 Trawling the internet for rude bit. Again.

 * TWANG YOUR G-STRING - Germans love rocking
 out with mullets, but they need guitars first.
 Thanks for this, Guitar Dude. What's inside the
 hole in the middle?
http://www.cuntz-guitars.info/

 * SPUNKING UP A DULL BUSINESS - being an estate
 agent will never be exciting, unless you get to
 answer the phone 'Hotblack Dixon.'  "I noticed
 the sign emblazoned across a shop front in
 bloody Hampstead of all places," spurts
 Bathory. It even feels nice to say.
http://www.hotblackdixon.co.uk/  

 * RED HOT BUSH -  A hand-clappingly good cock
 drawing here – it's even going into something
 resembling a splayed arsehole. "This struck me
 as a particularly good phallic logo, especially
 when combined with the name." Thanks
 Banjo-Jeff, you've just taken away everything
 that is pure and innocent about Lily Cole's
 favourite tea.
http://www.redbushtea.com/

 * CROUTONS, SIR? - Peej spotted a sneaky goatse
 on the back of his Cup-A-Soup pack. Good work,
 Batchelor's. No comment as to whether they
 taste like they've been made in an arse,
 though.
http://goo.gl/bW9aQ

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
 Find the star

Discovering stars need not be a TV shit-fest
like X factor. This week's game involves you
finding them in a series of clever puzzles, and
not a trace of Simon Cowell.
http://www.nekogames.jp/mt/2008/09/_hoshi_saga_3.html

-------------------------------------------------

: CAT SURVIVAL TRUST LOGO CHALLENGE
 Winners get in touch with this chap!
 
 Dr Terry Moore writes, "Very many thanks for
 running this challenge. The quality and number
 entries were astounding, which made it all the
 more difficult to select winners. The overall
 winner with the main logo was 'Happy Toast'
 with entry 10325884, winning a framed photo and
 a year's adoption of one of our cats.
 
 "A more formal logo used on badges and stickers
 etc was entry 10324048 by Puromycin who wins a
 year's membership and a framed photo.

 "A special logo for children's section was entry
 10329710 by Q4nobody (version number 4) winning
 a year's membership and a copy of Super Dave's
 book.

 "Others may certainly lead to the basis of
 things like bumper stickers etc and in these
 cases I will contact the designers to offer
 free membership for a year.

 "Please arrange for winners to contact me at
 cattrust AT aol DOT com to organize delivery of
 'winnings'.

 "Once again many thanks for your assistance and
 we would be pleased to show you round to see
 the cats whenever you are in the vicinity of
 Welwyn."
http://b3ta.com/challenge/catsurvivaltrust/

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
 Results from the Tourism Challenge

 Last week we wanted you to promote Britain
 Your favourites included:

 * SWEARY - misunderstanding of challenge
   leads to spectacularly rude results
   (HappyToast)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10331472

 * YANKS - compare and contrast the old
   country with the new, and come to
   Blighty (moon monkey)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10334878

 * YANKS II - more baiting of our trans-
   Atlantic neighbours and their appalling
   lack of history (benito vaselini)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10331763

   All these images, and the highest as
   voted by you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/britishtourism/

 >> New challenge: Film Aftermath <<
 The movie ends and the credits roll, but
 what happens to the world and its
 characters after the films we all know
 end? Challenge suggested by Zak McFlimby
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/aftermath/

-------------------------------------------------

: FOLLOW UPS
 The bits that don't quite fit else where

 * HORRIFICALLY UNHEALTHY FOOD - "Here's how to
make a MOTHER F'CKING DEEP FAT FRIED MARS BAR
NUTELLA AND CREAM PIE!" exclaims 90Nz0, who
wants your BMI to be the exact same number as
your life expectancy. Jesus Christ, and it bears
an uncanny resemblance to Robert Kilroy Silk.
http://goo.gl/KZPIw
 
   
 * MORE TEALY GAME - freakyzoid writes, "Thanks
 for featuring my game Tealy & Orangey in the
 newsletter. Bloody loads of people read it,
 judging by the number that popped by to my site
 (but you probably know that already). Anyway,
 there's a new version of the game available
 now, and I thought some people might be
 interested again. It has 10 new levels, and
 even rock harder Advanced mode, and a practice
 mode where you can replay any level."
http://www.mainlyaboutgames.co.uk/tealyorangey/

 * SEND LATER EMAILS - we got lots of messages
 about this, most of them suggesting to either
 use Outlook (yuck) or a plug-in for Thunderbird
 called send-later. Or dial-up. We run a gmail
 house here; c'mon Google sort this out.

 * ALBUMHOLE 2 DEADLINE LOOMING -
 DaveExclamationMark writes, "Just under 2 weeks
 now to the cut-off point for Albumhole 2.. I've
 had some cracking submissions so far. It's
 looking awesome."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/580339

 * LOTS OF MESSAGES CRITICISING THE GHB /
 ALCOHOL POST IN LAST WEEK'S NEWSLETTER
 Including Londoninflames who writes, "Reading
 your latest missive I note that your piece on
 alcohol almost manages to advocate GHB and GBL
 usage as a hangover-free way to achieve the
 same end, sadly made illegal by our government.
 I feel that I must warn your readers who may
 be compelled to track down some of this
 substance that it is significantly more
 addictive than alcohol (or cocaine for that
 matter), and once you're addicted withdrawal
 can only be managed medically and results in
 ghastly hallucinations, fits, and occasionally
 fatalities or severe mental health breakdowns.
 I should know, as I am a recovering addict
 myself and nearly died last year during
 withdrawals. Word to the wise, is all."

 * HANGOVER ADVICE - also Da' Vane who writes,
 "The effects of a hangover can easily be
 mitigated by understanding that alcohol is a
 diuretic, and the effects that this has on your
 body. After drinking, make sure you keep your
 fluids and salt up to compensate for the
 effects of dehydration that occur afterwards,
 especially before you pass out, and you will
 never have a hangover again."

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

 Make something cool and tell us about it. If
 you are in it then people will see your stuff.

 This week we asked on Twitter what you'd like
 to see and you said:
 
 * "iPhone app that Google's incoming numbers and
 gives you odd facts to surprise callers with."
 (@bounder)

 * "An actually decent Nokia/Windows phone." Not
 very likely is it? (@alexjblandford)

 * "A countdown website ticking off MPs who
 voted for war in Iraq leaving office - when all
 gone we can try trusting again."
 (@brokenscience)

 Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

 BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
 been featured then don't be put off - we look
 at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Civil partnership: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Civil partnership termination:
b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

 THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel and  David
Stevenson with additional worditude from
Warneford / @JudgeySan (wonderful work),
lostlooking (thumbs up), RadioVicky (thanks!)
Ian Parsonson, Ian Williams, Chris Elwood,
Craig English, @somegreybloke and @joeloverton.
 Stuff sent in by @Zuowan, @cgalla2008,
@ZombieDoris, @hoochalobster, Edward Evans,
Herb Alperts Taxi Driver, Oysdgp, @mattround,
Michael Ellis, Mattle, dug/frag  Top Tippery by
A Vagabond.  Additional linkage and image
challenge by  Fraser Lewry.  Mike Trinder is
QOTW bloke. Subjlols via Damocles.
 
-------------------------------------------------

 TOP TIP:
Do an impression of your mum by patting the back
of your hand and trying to bite your left ear.

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Vol 982 - Feb. 16, 2011 - The Edge Index - Strange Stuff

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

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==================================

Quotes & Toasts of The Day - STRANGE "Maria Bartiromo" QUOTES

"I pound the phones-maybe 25 calls in the first hour. People know I don't want to chit-chat."

"I set out to show people how I deal with the explosion of financial information and how other investors could do the same."

"I think that my biggest attribute to any success that I have had is hard work. There really is no substitute for working hard."

"I think the information explosion has created noise to the extent that people get trigger-happy, which can be detrimental."

"I was a Girl Scout and I loved being a Girl Scout. I learned so much as a Girl Scout and I used to sell cookies and it was really fun."

"I'm frequently on the Internet, digging up information about companies and checking the activities of particular stocks and industry sectors."

"I'm not a money manager, but I can tell you what the conventional wisdom is. The younger you are, the more risk you can take on."

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - The Edge Index - Strange Stuff

Bozo the Clown's shoe size:
83AAA

Decline in number of IRS audits of corporations over the past five years:
33 percent

Amount it cost for a Japanese man to take a cab from Argentina to New York City:
$58,000

Amount of money a Norwegian woman has made since last May by selling her breast milk:
$9,442.95

Percentage of Americans who do not know the words to "The Star-Spangled Banner":
61

According to a recent survey of more than 2000 adults, the percentage of Britons who think Winston Churchill was a fictional character:
9

Percentage who think "The War of the Worlds," H.G. Wells' fictional account of a Martian invasion, actually took place:
6

Percentage who think the Battle of Helm's Deep (from "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy) actually took place:
3

Percentage who think the Battle of the Bulge was fictional:
57

Percentage who think the Cold War was fictional:
30

Percentage who think Hitler was a fictional character:
11

Percentage who think Mussolini was a fictional character:
33

Percentage who think Xena Warrior Princess was a real historical figure:
1

Percentage of Americans who, in a survey by Denny's restaurants, said they prefer their eggs scrambled:
43

Percentage who said they like them over easy:
18

Percentage who said they like them sunny-side up:
7

Percentage who said they "don't know" how they like their eggs:
1

Number of people killed by vampire bats in a remote Amazon town in Brazil since March 2:
13

Number of toothpicks you can make from one cord of wood:
75 million

Number of peanut butter sandwiches the average American child will eat by high school graduation:
1,500

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE STUDENTS - CHEATER WITH MANY ARMS! - http://www.strangefunkids.com/content/item/172852.html

TINAMEN MOUNTAINS ARCH CHINA - PPS PRESENTATION - AWESOME! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/172865.html

STRANGE TRAFFIC DANGERS - OVERLOADED COMMERCIAL TRUCKS - CARS & BICYCLES - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/172644.html

CHANGING TIMES - MEN THEN - "MEN" NOW! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172895.html

STRANGE LIL PURPLE LIZARD - WINGS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/172900.html

STRANGE POLICE CAR - NOW THEY ARE WATCHING WHAT YOU EAT - SANDWICH POLICE! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/172911.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN WEDDING - CHESS MASTERS - BRIDE AND HER ATTENDANTS BORED TO DEATH! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/172912.html

STRANGE BABY CRADLE WITH 'DANGEROUS' TOY RATTLES! SHELL MADE FROM OLD HARBOR MINE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/172913.html

STRANGE COP CAR PERSONALIZED LICENSE PLATE - 2 JAIL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172914.html

DANGEROUS WEATHER - HUGE WATERSPOUT CROSSES ARBOR AND COMES ASHORE - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/172915.html

COOL CARS - BUGATTI WITH 1/2 CHROME SIDES - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/172916.html

STRANGE DANGERS - FIREMEN HOSE DOWN STRANGE FIRE BREATHING DRAGON! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/172917.html

FARM FUN - STRANGE SCARECROW - CAMOUFLAGE PANTS? - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/172918.html

MILITARY HELICOPTERS AERIAL REFUELING - C-130 HANDLES TWO AT A TIME! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/172919.html

LARA LOGAN CBS NEWS REPORTER - BRUTALLY ASSAULTED BY MEN IN CAIRO EGYPT CROWD - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/172957.html

FARMING DANGERS - TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/172268.html

BEAUTIFUL COLORFUL LIL FROGGY - ALL THE COLORS! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/172289.html

STRANGE LITTLE ALBINO CAMEL WITH MOM - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/172465.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - MOTORCYCLE RACING - OVALS - DIRT BIKES

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100029_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Uses For Krazy Glue - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/172934.html

The Strange History of Slinkys - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/172935.html

In Germany, Sleeping At Work Considered Good! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/172936.html

Whatever Happened To Singer Cyndi Lauper? - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/172937.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SS - MOTORCYCLE RACING - OVALS - DIRT BIKES

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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#1 Stranger

---------------------

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------------------------

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Vol 981 - Feb. 13, 2011 - Strange Deep Thoughts

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

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------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes About "Work"

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. - Robert Frost

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse. - Dennis Miller

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? - Edgar Bergen

Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you're finished. - Leslie Nielsen

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. - Slappy White

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. - Robert Paul

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error. - Dennis Miller

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome K Jerome

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Deep Thoughts

ON DEEP THOUGHTS
A day without sunshine is like night.

ON HIGHER EDUCATION
College is a fountain of knowledge...and the students are there to drink.

ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

ON YOUTH
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
-- Steven King, 3/8/90

ON PROBLEM SOLVING
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.
-- Abraham Maslow

ON MATERIALISM
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.

ON ECONOMICS
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University

ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?

ON DATING
When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.

ON LAMENTATION
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

ON POETIC LOVE
When you're swimmin' in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That's a Moray!
-- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

ON MODERNISM
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.

ON EXTINCTION
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

ON HUMILITY
To err is human, to moo bovine.

ON EXPLANATION OF THE END
"... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs."
-- Robert Firth

ON PROPHECY
The meek shall inherit the earth---they are too weak to refuse.

ON NUMBERS
Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large values of 2.

ON WORLD POLITICS
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE WEAPONS - GATLING GUNS - NEW & OLD - OLD WEST - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/172612.html

STRANGE VEHICLES - GOOFY YELLOW MINI BUS/TAXI - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/172636.html

STRANGE TRAFFIC DANGERS - OVERLOADED COMMERCIAL TRUCKS - CARS & BICYCLES - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/172640.html

HOT SPORTS - OLDE HOT ROD RACING STEAM LOCOMOTIVE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172681.html

STRANGE & GOOFY MAILBOXES - OLDE SHELL GASOLINE PUMP - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/172495.html

TOP 5 DEADLIEST MILITARY ATTACK HELICOPTERS - CHINESE -Z10 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/172704.html

STRANGE ROCK STAR FANS - INSANE CLOWN POSSE ACTION FIGURES - STRANGE TATTOOED FAN - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/172707.html

INCREDIBLE PICTURE TAKEN IN 1918 - STATUE OF LIBERTY CREATED BY 18,000 SOLDIERS ! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/136642.html

MOSCOW AUTOMOBILE MUSEUM - 1939 CADILLAC SPECIAL 60 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/172718.html

NOMINEE FOR PARENT(S) OF THE YEAR! - TRAMP STAMP FOR LIL GIRL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172735.html

CANDIDATES FOR IDIOT PARENTS OF THE YEAR - TOSS BABY ACROSS ROCK TRAIL CREVASSE - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/172554.html

IT'S SNOW FUN! - DOORS AND WINDOWS BURIED UNDER HEAVY SNOW DRIFTS - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/172791.html

STRANGE MOUNTAIN CLIMBING DANGERS - MANY CLIMBERS FOLLOW LONG TRAIL UP TO THE TOP - HALF DOME AT YOSEMITE NAT'L PARK - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/172262.html

STRANGE 'BEATLES' ABBEY ROAD ALBUM - 4 VW 'BEATLES' CROSSING - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/172411.html

STRANGE BUS BOAT - RED - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/172413.html

FORMULA ONE RACER CREATES HUGE SMOKE RING BEHIND - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/172482.html

AMAZING NOSE ON SHOT OF FRENCH DASSAULT RAFALE MILITARY JET - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/172412.html

Washington Post Global Warning Article - Surprise! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/172699.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - STRANGE MUTANTS & ALBINO ANIMALS - All Kinds - Big & Small

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100905_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

10 Most Weird Phobias of Hollywood Celebrities - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/172789.html

Strange 'Paraprosdokian' Sentences......... - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/172561.html

Old is When...... - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/25608.html

Being a Kid Back in the 1950's - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/24601.html

A Poem of Retribution - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/120162.html

25 Signs You've Grown UP - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/118314.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - STRANGE MUTANTS & ALBINO ANIMALS - All Kinds - Big & Small

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/107_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

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