Vol 881 - Feb. 28, 2010 - Strange Street Names in the USA

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Strange Quotes:

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." - Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." - Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." - AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there." - Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Street Names in the USA

The complete top 10 list included:

10. Tater Peeler Road in Lebanon, Texas

9. The intersection of Count and Basie in Richmond, Va.

8. Shades of Death Road in Warren County, N.J.

7. Unexpected Road in Buena, N.J.

6. Bucket of Blood Street in Holbrook, Ariz.

5. The intersection of Clinton and Fidelity in Houston

4. The intersection of Lonesome and Hardup in Albany, Ga.

3. Farfrompoopen Road in Tennessee (the only road up to Constipation Ridge)

2. Divorce Court in Heather Highlands, Pa.

1. Psycho Path in Traverse City, Mich.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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WORLD'S WORST SPORTS UNIFORMS / KITS - TENNIS - LEOPARD PANTS/TOP/HAT! - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/160219.html

CIVIL WAR IRON CLAD UNION BATTLESHIP - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/160599.html

AMAZING 1950'S PHOTO'S - PPS PRESENTATION - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/160807.html

STRANGE GHOST PHOTOS - THE BROWN LADY GHOST - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/160817.html

WINTER OLYMPICS - SKATING - PAIRS - HOCKEY - SPRINT - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/160847.html

LINDSEY VONN - GOLD MEDAL OLYMPICS SKIER - VANCOUVER - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/160876.html

AMAZING 1950'S & 60'S US CONCEPT CARS - BUBBLE-TOP - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/160938.html

AMAZING 1950'S & 60'S US CONCEPT CARS - FLAT SHARP AND LOW - 5 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/160951.html

MISS JAPAN - 2010 - WINNER WITH HER COURT - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/160960.html

SUPER SUPERSONIC JET COLLECTION - FAST, STEALTHY DEADLY! - TOP DOWN VIEW - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/160961.html

COOL NAVY HELMET - COCKPIT UP VIEW - WITH PALS UP CLOSE! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/160966.html

1948 TOP SECRET US AIR FORCE UFO SIGHTING DOCUMENT - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/160974.html

AIR FORCE RUNWAY TRAFFIC CONTROL - F-18 TAKES OFF CROSSING AWACS ON A ROLL! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/160975.html

AMAZING COMPARISON - HUGE 747 vs. SINGLE ENGINE PRIVATE AIRPLANE! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/121919.html

OUTLAW JESSIE JAMES - OLDE SHOT - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/122228.html

STRANGE ASIAN HOUSEBOAT - COOL! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/121682.html

STRANGE TRUCK DRIVER! - 29 TRAILER 'ROAD-TRAIN' SETS RECORD IN AUSTRALIA - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/122009.html

STRANGE MINI BUSES AROUND THE WORLD -- STARS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/122335.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SM - MILITARY - "SPECIAL" PICTURES AND PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/100050_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

You May Be a Taliban if...... - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/147888.html

Strange Military Quotes - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/102733.html

Military Acronyms - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/101484.html

You Might Be a Gun Nut if....... - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/100064.html

You May Be A Redneck Pilot If... - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/25646.html

Did You Ever Wonder What Happened to The Signers of the Declaration of Independence? - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/100956.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SM - MILITARY - "SPECIAL" PICTURES AND PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/107_1.html

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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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[b3ta] "And then God created Saturn... and he liked it, so he put a ring on it. "

 

This Week:
* CARTOON - Vagina Dentata
* VIDEO - James Bond's annoying calls
* QUESTION OF THE WEEK - Gingers, oh god

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B3ta email 417 - 26 Feb 2010

Learn the secrets to defeat Bowser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue417/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Vagina, Bond, Atari, Goatse, Goo

>> Vagina Dentata Lion King Style <<
"This is a video we me and my girl made,"
explains drreverendfantastic, "for your
delectation and deliberation." NSFW redub of
the Lion King because it's about, you know,
muffs with molars.
http://snurl.com/vaginadentata

>> Casino Royale phone calls <<
An exasperated Bond has to deal with incessant
phone calls from M, wittering on about
Shakespeare. Cute idea from Idiofy that's
amazingly convincing.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Casino_Royale_Phone_calls_mashup

>> Atari 2600 cover art quiz <<
Match the polished cover art to the rudimentary
game graphics of the 1977 Atari 2600 console.
"The fact it's quite easy shows what fine work
the artists did," points out monkeon.
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/boxart/

>> GoatKCD <<
"GoatKCD locates the last panel of [popular
webcomic] XKCD strips and replaces them with...
well, take a wild guess," blurts rufoa. If you
guessed goatse, give yourself a lollipop.
Weirdly, goatse works great as a punchline.
BTW: linking to the 'SFW' version that just
uses a line drawing of the legendary two-fisted
display.
http://goatkcd.com/608/sfw

>> Goo's Got Talent III <<
Due to careless reading of the contract, Jonti
gets paid in creme eggs for making these
spectacular Cadbury's Easter animations. He now
weighs 23 stone and has gone blind, but he's
earned it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrTYDuOYzN4

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Flirting

Last week we asked for your flirting tips. In
amongst the fantasy porn, there's some lovely
stuff. We wish "pixel_ficker" well on his date
tonight:
http://b3ta.com/questions/flirting/

* CHECK-IN - "Business trip to Cardiff, hotel
check-in has a fit Aussie receptionist, "Would
you like a newspaper in the morning sir?" "Yes
please. I don't suppose you could get your
hands on a 'Scotsman' could you?" "Oh I'd love
to get my hands on a Scotsman sir!" "Perfect.
What time do you finish?" "11 o'clock!" "I'll
see you in the bar." My female colleague, stood
just behind me, rolled her eyes and turned to
the man behind her in the queue, muttering "I
have to put up with this idiot for a living."
(Reverend Fister)

* CHECK-OUT - "In my local minimarket. I go
over to the till. The bored-looking girl rings
the items through and gets to the garlic
sausage. A long, phallic chunk of garlicky
goodness. She tries to ring it through. It
doesn't work. She examines the barcode,
realises it's scrunched up and proceeds to
flatten it out with her hands. I watch, gulping
down air as this bored teenager proceeded to
wank off my sausage with dexterity and
expertise. A sex ninja, performing the perfect
hand-job. I just couldn't let it pass. "Now
that's a lucky sausage." She gazed up at me,
realising what it looked like, and, thankfully,
let out a little laugh. "All part of the
service," she said. In the most smutty way
imaginable. I was hooked. For the next week I
made a point of visiting every night on my way
home. By the end of the week my fridge was
stocked with a smorgasbord of phallic food
items. She was only a kid, it was only a bit of
harmless flirting, but it sort of passed the
time. Until I went in to be greeted by Mr
Shah's familiar, screwed up old face. Feeling a
little disappointed, I said, "That girl you had
in here last week. The things she said she'd do
with a Peperami. Pwhhoooo!" Mr Shah finished
packing my gear. "And that would be my
daughter," said Mr Shah." (SpankyHanky)

* CHECK PRESCRIPTION - "There's some daft
person near me who's flirting with a tree! On
my commute to work, I drive past a tree that
somebody keeps buying cards and flowers for! I
dunno what he/she sees in it - it's not even a
particularly nice tree (it has a big, scorched
chunk taken out of one side of it)" (Zak
McFlimby)

>> This Week's Question: Gingers <<
What does the world have against Gingers? We
ask this out of genuine confusion, not to hear
a load of old ginger jokes, so skip over those.
Talk to us here, flame-haired gods:
http://b3ta.com/questions/ginger/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Macabre kids' alphabet <<
A charming A-Z of children meeting grisly
fates. Classic, gothy illustration from Edward
Gorey.
http://elizabethandjames.com/elizabeth/random/gorey.html

>> Ages of social network users <<
Interesting study showing who uses which social
networking site. Handy, so that we can know
where to hang out and feel young. And where to
hunt for silver fox...
http://snurl.com/socialnetworkages

>> Colour study <<
Surprisingly interesting in-depth
questionnaire, to help you to discover your
favourite colour.
http://splash.clubdevo.com/colorstudy/

>> Fake receipt generator <<
Viral marketing for a restaurant that lets you
fake up taxi rides, stationery shopping and the
like so you can claim a luxury meal on company
expenses. No way this could backfire at all.
http://expenseasteak.com/

>> Linkbait Generator <<
The long-awaited public release of the magic
engine that powers cracked.com. Need a catchy
blog post title? Keep pressing the button and
watch the ideas flow.
http://linkbaitgenerator.com/index.php

>> Candid photos of "celebrities" <<
Paris bribing an inmate? Marilyn having a
crafty wank? No, they're lookalikes but shh!
http://snurl.com/doubletake

>> Fucking windows <<
Spectacularly childish and the most-submitted
link of the week. Took us ages to figure out
what to actually do.
http://www.fucking-windows.com/

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Now available in 2d

>> Avatar-obsessed weirdos <<
There's two types of geek. Those who never
leave the house and those who only leave the
house dressed as their favourite characters
from whatever nerd fiction is trending at the
moment. This week is Avatar but the nerds are
still nerds whatever decade it is.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/avatar_obsessed_weirdos

>> Golf Sale: The Movie <<
Anyone who's walked down Oxford Street or
visited our very own boards knows about the
Golf Sale guys who stand there holding their
lonely and mysterious signs all day and every
day. What a great idea for a surprisingly heart
warming short film.
http://snurl.com/golfsale

>> Taiwan TV on Gordon Brown's "bullying" <<
An inexplicable take on the Bullygate affair.
Possibly they're just taking the piss.
http://snurl.com/bullybrown

... and instantly parodied by our very own
Mutated Monty.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Crouching_Gordon_Brown_Dragon

>> David Cameron exposed <<
A lovely bit of political mockery by Armando
Iannucci. BTW: Reality TV pitch. "The Osbornes"
This week George and Adam go, "RAH! RAH! RAH!
Let's go and get some prostitutes and drugs.
Top wheeze eh?"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Call_me_Dave_exposed

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: PUNNY NAME CORNER
Greatest name for a carpenter ever?

And a reference to one of our favourite films
of all time too.
http://tweetphoto.com/12475650

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: CHATROULETTE
Fucking hell, it's got its own section

The last couple of weeks everyone has gone
mental for Chatroulette, if you haven't caught
it yet, it's a video chatroom that assigns you
random people to talk to. Invariably you sit
there pressing next until you see someone
attractive and then they press next and then
you feel rejected. Also there's been loads of
secondary content thrown up by the whole
experience - here's the best:

* A DAY IN THE CHATROULETE OFFICE. Amusing.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/made_me_grin_like_the_rest_of_them

* SCREENSHOTS FROM CHATROULETTE. Also amusing.
http://chatroulette.tumblr.com/

* A SHORT FILM ABOUT CHATROULETTE. Insightful.
http://vimeo.com/9669721

BTW: Our own experiences include pointing it at
our family preparing dinner. People seemed
quite interested in this and didn't press next.
Also, wearing a silly hat and singing songs
worked better than just looking grumpy and old.

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Sci-Fi Advertising
Challenge

Last week we wanted you to show us what the
stars of science fiction have sold to them
through the medium of advertising

Your favourites included:

* PROSTITUTION - open a telephone box in any
part of the universe, and you'll be faced with
this (An Eagle in Your Mind)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9928536

* ARNIE - not strictly following the challenge
guidelines, but a brilliantly topical pun
nonetheless (nicestnihilist)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9923437

* TORY - even the most evil of sci-fi monsters
have some limits, you know (Guy Incognito)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9925509

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/scifiadvertising/

>> New challenge: Dangerous Hospitals <<
Imagine a world in which hospital was the last
place you'd take a sick person: show us the
terrifying surgical tools, the bad practice,
and the scary staff
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/hospitals/

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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* SPIDERMAN WILL MAKE YOU GAY MEGAMIX - 9 years
ago your GInger Fuhrer wrote a throwaway song
called "I'm not gay" and mixed it with an
animated gif of Spiderman dancing about. Here
he revisits it for a quick history lesson:
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Spiderman_will_make_you_gay_megamix

* TRACKSWAP - "It's like Youtube Swap but for
music," writes bobsworthindustries,"Since many
people were submitting music videos with
Youtube Swap (and I discovered a few new
artists who I like), I made a version just for
music, which uses songs from Grooveshark.
Discover new music thanks to internet
strangers!"
http://trackswap.bobsworthindustries.com/

* WEEBL TATTOO - pleasing to know web idiots
are still tattooing Jonti's memes for all
eternity onto their precious flesh. We're just
personally glad our Hamster Dance tats will
never go out of fashion.
http://snurl.com/tastesjustlikeraisins

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: FRIDAY GAME
Robot Unicorn Attack

In what our own boarders are calling, "Probably
the most lol-gay game in the world" comes your
chance to live the unicorn dream. BTW: For a
while we thought the music was Never Ending
Story by Limahl but eventually we twigged is
was Erasure.
http://snurl.com/unicornattack

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* NANOBOTS THAT FLOSS TEETH - our dentist is
moaning that we don't floss enough and we're
trying but it's really painful.

* ALCOHOL TO BE INCLUDED IN YOUR FIVE-A-DAY -
*shakes fist at nanny state*

* SOCKS ON ELASTICATED STRING - like gloves
used to be. Then we'd never lose them, although
we might garrotte our testes.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by via Just Juan
Cornetto, wuffle the space bunny, via
injektilo, disco_doctor, NickHS, danielbevis,
SetecAstronomy, Griffy Savalas, NickHS,
@andertoons, @bonytoad, Timmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,
Bobsworth, cr3, SickRik, azerty, irishstu,
pissflaps. Additional linkage and image
challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW
bloke. Subjlols via Thom90. Sickipedia gag via
Tinpotbob.

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Cocaine is never a solution. Unless of course,
you dissolve it in water.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Nikon D700 Reviews

Nikon D700 the “new” (though I suspect) came all the latest technology, bells and whistles, superlative customer. I charge the battery and connected to a brand new Nikor 24-120 mm lens, add an 8GB card, flash, formed at the same time, can “live view” mode, removed the lens cover the camera and said. . . stared, mouth open, is empty Dark orbit. . . now I’m a beginner, not a contest, so I was sure I had left the switch, button, lever, trigger, sequence step enigmatic gesture, password, or mantra, but all the more desperately untutored DSLR users already know and make automatically and can not think. So I read the Quick-start “again and again, searching for hidden nuances in the hope that a sudden jump in front of me and shout,” Oh, why is Pete, of course, you need to blow a flash lamp, and tighten the strap a camera machine before the screen lights up. How can I concentrate? “But I come to this Epiphany, so I called the Nikon 800 number and told me:” You have a bad camera, Joe, “and although my name is not Joe, I thanked the man of bad news . The camera is like instant messaging, NV, where he came from, and I would ask what kind of poor quality control may be the name of the camera Nikon neatly packed to the point of all components and cables, as well and instructions, and I am very disappointed with the unexpected and the ability for users to see that the OH, it does not work. Nikon D700 12 1MP Digital Camera SLR (Body Only)

Okay, Amazon asked me (via email) to review this camera so this is going to bite. First of all, I must say that I am a long time Nikon user. The two own this movie actors (N90S and F100) and one of the DSLR (D200). I use the D200, mainly for the last 3 years. Prior to this, we collected many “movie” Nikkors and my film bodies, so it was a reason I wanted to go to FX. It is not trolling or ax to grind Nikon. Usually their products work very well for me, and when (rarely), I needed customer service is good. I love the F100, if I had time, I think I still shoot film. But this review is about D700 and D700, unfortunately, is on his way back to the return of the Amazon. It was a really bad spot sensor (many related pixels), which is visible in each frame image in ISO 400 or above. The “red dot” is not even visible to JPEG is a standard size started NX2 – not growth. The main reason I write this review is to give prospective buyers know you have to check carefully the new camera as soon as possible after receipt. Thank you Amazon way back! This was a great investment for me. I’ve seen pictures of the D700 and it’s really great, but now I wonder how good QA of the Nikon / QC is. Not sure if I’m going to try another sample, as it has created the work and stress is not needed. I do not get attached to my D200 for some time, as it continues to produce very nice photos. I have no idea what the likelihood of getting a defective Nikon may be, but I am sure you will like to know the odds. I’m pretty sure that if had not been able to return the camera, Nikon will be some sort of confirms the guarantee, but it would be more trouble and anxiety. Therefore, the title of this review. Good luck and I hope you have a good sample. I am sure this would be five stars if I take the D700 a good sensor. 

Vol 880 - Feb. 24, 2010 - Strange One Liners - Caution PUNS

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Time for something NEW - we never disappoint!

Trapped at the office waiting for happy hour can be a snoozefest. No more. The Toilet Paper is daily email newsletter delivers the most shocking quotes, stats, facts, and lists about one noteworthy news topic each day. Laser sharp, bust out funny, and not afraid to cross the line. Sign up to make this happy hour part of your routine.

IT'S STRANGE! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.thetoiletpaper.com/?ref=30215

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Celebrity Quotes:

Have you been playing a long time?… -- Queen Elizabeth II, to rock legend Eric Clapton

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test… -- Prince Philip

I can do anything you want me to do as long as I don't have to speak… -- Linda Evangelista

I catnap now and then...but I think while I nap, so it's not a waste of time… -- Martha Stewart

I don't wake up for less than $10,000 a day… -- Linda Evangelista

I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to… -- Linda Evangalista

I don't think about anything too much. If I think too much… -- Pamela Anderson

I feel my best when I'm happy… -- Winona Ryder

I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada… -- Britney Spears

I like most of the places I've been to, but I've never really wanted to go to Japan… -- Britney Spears

I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes… -- Mariah Carey, on death of King of Jordan

I never knew a guitar player worth a damn… -- Vernon Presley, to his young son Elvis

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange One Liners - Caution PUNS!

Oh Pun the door......

THE ABILITY TO MAKE AND UNDERSTAND PUNS IS THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT.

Here are the ten first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan. " Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.

Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

WORLD'S WORST SPORTS UNIFORMS / KITS - STRETCH PANTS - WIFE BEATER TANK TOP - TENNIS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/160217.html

CARS YOU WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN - 1954 DODGE FIREARROW - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/160367.html

NEW HOOVER DAM BRIDGE BYPASS PROGRESS - 2 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/160477.html

STRANGE OLDE PICTURES - SEAN CONNERY - BODY BUILDER - JAMES BOND? - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/160550.html

STRANGE HEARTS IN NATURAL FORMATIONS - ISLAND - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/160681.html

BABY PYGMY HIPPO - 1 - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/160713.html

OLDE VALENTINE'S CARDS FROM THE 1950'S - 4 - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/160749.html

STRANGE OLDE ANIMAL PICTURES - OSTRICH PULLING A CART - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/160754.html

DIAMONDHEAD - DORMANT VOLCANO - AERIAL VIEW - HONOLULU - WAIKIKI BEACH - HAWAIIAN ISLANDS - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/160786.html

AUDI AVATAR - SUPER LIGHT FUTURE SUPERCAR - 7 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/160799.html

STRANGE CORVETTE - FLAMES PAINT JOB! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/160810.html

STRANGE STRETCH LIMO - 1957 CHEVY! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/160813.html

STRANGE GHOST PHOTOS - LORD COMBERMERE BY SYBELL CORBET - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/160816.html

STRANGE GHOST PHOTOS - AUSTRIAN FAREWELL PARTY STRANGE GHOST GIRL - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/160831.html

INSIDE BURJ-E-KHALIF (DUBAI) - PPS - PRESENTATION = WORLDS TALLEST BUILDING - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/160842.html

WINTER OLYMPICS - SKI JUMPING & LUGE - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/160845.html

WINTER OLYMPICS - SKIING - DOWNHILL - CROSS COUNTRY - SNOWBOARD - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/160846.html

STRANGE ITALIAN SPORTS CARS! 2010 ALFA ROMEO PANDION - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/160848.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - CONCEPT CARS - WILD DESIGNS - GM - FORD - CHRYSLER - JAPANESE - EUROPEAN

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100707_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Facts About Glass - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/160849.html

Strange Phobias - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/160850.html

Strange Facts About Volkswagens - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/160851.html

Strange Facts About Bicycles - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/160852.html

5 Strange Ways That Wives Murdered Their Husbands - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/160853.html

Teachers and Quick Witted Kids! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/157896.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - CONCEPT CARS - WILD DESIGNS - GM - FORD - CHRYSLER - JAPANESE - EUROPEAN

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/136_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

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==========================

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[b3ta] "That's right - another week has flown by and you've achieved NOTHING"

 

This Week:
* REAL WORLD CHALLENGE - Rearrange stuff in shops
* COOKING - a guide to making black pudding
* NOT FEATURING - pleaserobme.com coz it's everywhere

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're looking for the
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | right batteries for
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web... together"

B3ta email 416 - 19 Feb 2010

Squint at this issue on your mobile device:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue416/

Marriage: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Divorce: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Spike Jonze's new film - free tickets

ABSOLUT Vodka partnered with cult film maker
Spike Jonze to make a 30 minute movie to show
that `ordinary is no place to be'. The result
was a love story between 2 robots. Tickets to
premiere screenings in out of the ordinary
locations available here:
http://snurl.com/spikejonzeyeah

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Please buy some advertising as it means we can
afford to to take time off from client work and
actually do some newsletter stuff.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Blood, Sales, Music, Brucie and YouTube Roulette

>> Home-made black pudding <<
"Hi dude!" croons a gore-spattered Joel Veitch.
"Just made some black pudding! Yeah! Blood and
fat!" Yes, dear reader, this is one of the most
disturbing things you will see this week - Joel
cheerily singing to a bucket of congealing
pigs' blood before cooking and eating it.
http://www.rathergood.com/black_pudding

>> Sally Sells You Stuff <<
"Here's a new project by my neighbour and me,"
explains Philipp. Not a bad money-spinning
scheme this - whimsical weekly web comic about
a lady trying to sell gadgets, followed by the
chance to buy said quality item on eBay.
http://sallysellsyoustuff.com/

>> Charming retro vid <<
"Just finished this silly video for a tune I
put together last year," breathes mozza. Its
endearingly retro style nods to both The Good
Life and Bod.
http://snurl.com/hornmaster5

>> Brucie! <<
An overheated Bruce Forsyth breaks loose from
the home, in an unstoppable tap-dance rampage.
"Finally, 5 months after I made it for them,
the BBC have uploaded it to their website,"
sighs Cyriak. "I was beginning to think this
video would be forever locked away in Brucie's
dungeon."
http://cyriak.co.uk/blog/?p=124

>> Swap a youTube video with stranger <<
If you're the kind of brave soul who enjoys
chatroulette, perhaps you might like to try
exchanging a youTube video with a random
stranger. "Not Safe For Work," warns creator
Bobsworth. "Because you don't know what you'll
get!"
http://www.py.bobsworthindustries.com/youtubeswap/

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Mums

A cavalcade of mothers, each madder than the
last (except perhaps thatblokeoverthere's solid
gold brick of a mum):
http://b3ta.com/questions/mums/

* CARDS - "I'm the youngest of three. To make
us play together, my parents held family game
sessions every week or so. As this was the 80s,
this was a board game or some cards. All five
of us were round the kitchen table playing
cards when a 6 and a 9 appeared side by side.
"69!" My sister giggled to our older brother,
pointing at the cards. "Gahfaw," he chuckled...
and I just looked scared, as I had only learned
recently what a 69 was. "Whah?" My mum seemed
confused... "What is it?" "Sixty-nine, mom! You
know... look at the numbers. One up, one down,
curvy bits" My sister made gestures with her
hands, and gave a 'say no more' wink. And then
my mum grabbed my father's shoulder with a big
grin and let fly with a comment that will leave
me scarred for life, "Oh honey! The kids have a
name for it!" (macdumpy)

* CAKE - "My mum made a cake once. Fuck knows
how she managed it. All afternoon there had
been much clanging and banging and whirring,
and that weird rustley sifting noise you get
from paper bags filled with sugar and flour.
And then the final solid thump of the oven door
closing, she emerged from the kitchen, beaming
like a pixie. Later that day, when the main
course had been eaten and the plates carried
away, she brought in her construction on a big
round plate, and us three hungry sons sat round
it, licking lips. It was a fruit loaf. My
oldest brother was given the honour of cutting
it. He steadied himself at the table, and
tentatively poked at the crust. It crumbled
slightly, but didn't yield. So he pressed
harder. And harder. Then he started to worm and
twist the knife but it wouldn't budge; the cake
was absolutely solid. Beads of sweat broke out.
Eventually there was a snap, the blade pinged
off and the handle of the knife came away in
his hand. I laughed, my brother swore, my mum's
bottom lip trembled and the dog looked on,
hungry and bemused. So we took the cake outside
to destroy it. The family car happily rolled
over it, a hammer knocked a corner of it and
the dog could do little more than making it
reek of dog drool. It now sits on my brother's
garage workbench, 18 years later, with a series
of precise holes drilled in. It's a home-made
oven-baked screwdriver-holder, just like Mum
used to make." (Grrrmachine)

* CUBA - "I went to Cuba a few years ago, to
Guantanamo. Not the US base, but the area
around it. My mum's words of wisdom? "Be
careful if you go near that American base. You
do go a bit middle-eastern looking in the sun
and you know how stupid Americans are."
(inflateable)

>> This Week's Question <<
Do you flirt with check-out girls just for the
heck of it? Are you a check-out girl and flirt
with sad-looking middle-aged men for fun? Are
you Vernon Kay? Tell us about flirting triumphs
and disasters:
http://b3ta.com/questions/flirting/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Lady Gaga cookies <<
Mixed feelings about Gaga at B3ta towers - her
clothes are extraordinary and we enjoyed her
monosyllabic-refuse-to-play-the-game interview
on Jonathan Ross but we can't find much joy in
her songs. In fact, we think they're a bit crummy:
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/43140129.html

>> Crackhead pancakes <<
We recently watched Withnail & I and amused
ourselves imagining it remade as Withcakes & I
with a big fatty delivering lines like, "I MUST
HAVE SOME CAKE, I DEMAND TO HAVE SOME CAKE!"
and "MY THUMBS HAVE GONE WEIRD, I"M IN THE
MIDDLE OF A DIABETIC OVERDOSE". You know, the
kind of crap French & Saunders used to do.
Anyway, this is a similar mix of addiction
imagery and sugar.
http://snurl.com/crackpancakes

>> OK Cupid's latest data analysis <<
OKCupid was started by the guys behind TheSpark
- a site from yesteryear that was big on
quizzes. The popularity of this prompted them
to use it to start a dating site based on, you
guessed it, quizzes. But the really interesting
bit is that they're maths nerds and have been
running a great blog pulling apart what they've
learned. We've linked it before but this week
we're loving their analysis that women are past
their dating prime by 31 and for men it's 36.
Really fascinating stuff, and also anyone in
marketing could do a lot worse than picking up
a few tips here - this is how to engage with an
audience.
http://snurl.com/itslaterthanyouthink

>> Loving shadyurl.com. Turn links shady! <<
With the rise of Twitter we've seen the
mainstreaming of URL-shortening services, but
what about one that makes links to your
mum's photos look as dodgy as fuck?
http://www.shadyurl.com/

>> She left me and I am a sad internet <<
Imagine our question of the week stuff if it
didn't have any jokes, took itself very
seriously and had some rather gorgeous
photography. Ladies and Gentlmens, this is
Pictory.
http://www.pictorymag.com/showcases/one-who-got-away/

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Where do the little men go when my computer is asleep?

>> Russian strap-on tank <<
Yes, we weren't expecting the title to take
quite that turn either. Anyway here's a fully
caterpillar-tracked chassis you can mount your
commuter car onto, then advance across the
tundra to Moscow.
http://tinyurl.com/yged6b8

>> Lacklustre tiger escape <<
News reporter just can't get excited about
Tokyo Zoo's 'escaped tiger' drill. And as for
the tiger... that's special.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AJxzTzWNBM

>> Dogman eats dinner <<
Simple pleasures for simple minds, so we loled
out loud at this bit of basic dog-based foolery.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Making_a_dogs_dinner_of_it

>> Hexacopter <<
Unconventional, high-speed model flying machine
with six whirling blades. Inventors spend a
minute and a half demonstrating awesome
aerobatic coolness, then a further ten showing
how it can automatically hover in one location.
http://www.wimp.com/thehexacopter/

>> A brief history of everything <<
Spectacular lo-fi animation of the entire
history of the universe (best bits).
http://snurl.com/everythingflipbook

>> Trolling the principal <<
Smartarse teenagers Logan and Brandon deadpan
rings round their earnest highschool principal,
on some reality channel you've never heard of.
Like Ant & Dec when they were still young and
beautiful.
http://snurl.com/havefunatdinner

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Not available as a book

* KUM AND GO - babelglyph writes, "Friend of
mine on a business trip spotted this
conveniently-named convenience store." Take two
bottles into the shower? Not me, I just want
to...
http://www.kumandgo.com/

* MR PROPER WANG - Matt Gardner writes,
"Gentlemen, you're not going to BELIEVE the
name of the guy in charge of manufacturing
technology at Enics. Seriously, it has to be
seen to be believed."
http://snurl.com/mrproperwang

-------------------------------------------------

: BONUS REAL WORLD CHALLENGE
Naughty shops

We noticed a handful of you had been sneaking
into shops and rearranging stuff to make rude
messages. We feel it's our moral duty to
encourage this sort of behaviour and have opened
a special challenge.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/naughtyshop/popular/

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Greenwash Challenge

Last week we wanted you to sell us some
unlikely eco-friendly businesses

Your favourites included:

* FAGS - no matter how green you think you are,
the cigarette manufacturers are doing a better
job than you are (pete l'oaf)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9913788

* SLICK - every oil spill has a silver lining
(Snappyuk)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9915417

* LEIA - even the Death Star succumbed to
pressure from the environmental lobby
(Barbarossa)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9913971

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/greenwash/

>> New challenge: Sci-Fi Advertising <<
Advertising is oddly absent in our favourite
space-based stories. Rectify this anomaly to
show us what Luke, Darth, Obi Wan, Jean-Luc,
Kirk, Spock, Riker, et al have sold to them
through the medium of advertising.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/scifiadvertising/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* HISTORY-SPECIFIC EATING - Amos E Wolfe
writes, "How about the 1970s - 'Poppins', which
has several branches in the South East of
England has a menu (and colour scheme)
virtually unchanged since 1976, as can be seen
on their menus."
http://www.poppinsrestaurants.co.uk/menu.htm

* GOSH IS IT FUNNY, REALLY? Bernard writes,
"I've been reading your newsletter for a few
years now, and really enjoy it. I just wanted
to point out something about one of your video
posts in the latest (415) newsletter,
specifically the 20th Century Fox flute video.
It's actually a piece by a group called
'Jostiband', which happens to be composed out
of mentally-disabled people in the Netherlands.
I found it hilarious at first, but it became
slightly less funny when I realized who had
made it! I'm not sure this will change many of
your regular readers' opinions, but I just
wanted to make sure that you guys were aware."
http://www.jostiband.nl/opencms/en/theorchestra/music.html

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
Cyclomaniacs

"A silly but fun cycling game", writes
@edwardrussia, "I played it all week." And if
you like games with unlockable achievements
then gosh, is this the one for you.
http://www.kongregate.com/games/LongAnimals/cyclomaniacs

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* STAR AS AN EXTRA IN AS MANY FILMS AS POSSIBLE
FOR 1 YEAR AND WRITE A BOOK - prompted by
Fraser Lewry mentioning his cameo appearance 19
seconds into this trailer of East is East. He's
the long-haired gingery guy dancing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x14OlebWSCQ

* THE EUROVISION HATE CONTEST - Noeaven Noel
asks, "Using the awesome power of babelfish and
google, can a script-wizard tell us which
country hates which international celebrity the
most in their own language? Apparently, Greece
thinks Bono is a cunt more than anywhere else."

* PEOPLE OF ASDA - Holly Would suggests,
"Following on from the success of People of
Wal-Mart, I believe a UK-based cousin is
required to showcase the weirdos seen enjoying
the rollbacks. Though it may be boring by
comparison."

Send cash contributions via the mail form.
Sorry, we mean links.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by john, Almar, Paul
Curry, Balloonhead, Martin P, @danielbevis,
Michelle Obama's Stalker, [usernamegoeshere],
@Pussstein, Additional linkage and image
challenge by Fraser Lewry. Subjectline negging
via Griffy Savalas. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Sickilols via rock hard.
-------------------------------------------------

I'm testing a new font that only paedophiles
can read. How's it working so far?

We also filmed our Sickipedia 3.1 comedy night
which actually went really well, but we've had
a few snotty comments about the videos. Oh well.
http://www.robmanuel.com/2010/02/15/sickipedia-3-1-videos/

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Vol 878 - Feb. 17, 2010 - Strange Comparison - Jesus vs. Elvis

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Time for something NEW - we never disappoint!

Trapped at the office waiting for happy hour can be a snoozefest. No more. The Toilet Paper is daily email newsletter delivers the most shocking quotes, stats, facts, and lists about one noteworthy news topic each day. Laser sharp, bust out funny, and not afraid to cross the line. Sign up to make this happy hour part of your routine.

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------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange 'Beauty' Quotes:

Beauty is but skin deep, ugly lies the bone;
Beauty dies and fades away, but ugly holds its own.
- Anonymous

"Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people." - Richard Armour

"There are no ugly women; there are only women who do not know how to look pretty." - Antoine P. Berryer

"Looks are so deceptive that people should be done up like food packages with the ingredients clearly labeled." - Helen Hudson

"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?" - Jean Kerr "The Snake Has All the Lines"

"Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." - Hedy Lamarr

"The reason the all-American boy prefers beauty over brains is that the all-American boy can see better than he can think." - Farrah Fawcett Majors

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Jesus vs. Elvis

JESUS and ELVIS - Coincidence, or Cosmic Plan?

JESUS was a carpenter.
ELVIS' favorite high school class was wood shop.

JESUS said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
ELVIS said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA 1956)

JESUS was part of the Trinity.
ELVIS' very first band was a trio.

JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
ELVIS surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965)

JESUSS' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
ELVIS' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

JESUS said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37)
ELVIS said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)

JESUS said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
ELVIS liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

Mary, an important woman in JESUS' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in ELVIS' life, attended Immaculate Conception High School.

JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters.
ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters.

No one knows what the "H" in "JESUS H. Christ" stood for.
No one was really sure if ELVIS' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".

JESUS had his famous Resurrection.
ELVIS had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land.
ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state.

Coincidence, or Cosmic Plan?

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

OLDE WEST STAGECOACH - PACKED & CROWDED! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/160074.html

WORLD'S WORST SPORTS UNIFORMS / KITS - FULL BODY TRACK SUIT - FROGGY - NICE SHOES! - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/160216.html

X-32 JOINT STRIKE FIGHTER - PARKED - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/160313.html

CARS YOU WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN - 1958 MERCURY TURNPIKE CRUISER - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/160364.html

NEW HOOVER DAM BRIDGE BYPASS PROGRESS - 7 - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/160472.html

AMAZING PPS PRESENTATION - GREAT PIXS - GREAT MUSIC! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/160483.html

STRANGE FARMER DREAMS - A-10 JOHN DEERE LAWNMOWER! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/160485.html

FIRST LAND VEHICLE TO BREAK SOUND BARRIER - THRUST SSC - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/160488.html

STRANGE CUSTOM DOMED VOLKSWAGEN TRUCK - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/160490.html

OLDE FIRE RESCUE PRACTICE JUMP INTO HAND HELD NET - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/160491.html

BICYCLE RACERS SPEED PAST "BOY" ROLLING HAY BALE! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/160492.html

CAR FALLS THRU ICE - BOY IT SURE LOOKED LIKE A ROAD! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/160493.html

SUPER HEROES - IT'S A BIRD - IT'S A PLANE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/160494.html

STRANGE OLDE JEAN SEEBERG PICTURE - MOUSE ON HER SHOULDER - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/160495.html

STRANGE HUGE MONSTER TRUCK WITH HANDICAPPED PARKING MIRROR PERMIT! - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/160496.html

CUTE LITTLE BLONDE MONKEY - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/160497.html

GATHERING OF SUPERSONIC MILITARY JETS & EQUIPMENT - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/160498.html

STRANGE ANIMAL BUSINESS - DIAL-A-LLAMA! DELIVERY ANYTIME! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/160499.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SOP - B - OLDE MOVIES - MOVIE STARS - SILENT FILMS - STARLETS - MUSICIANS

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/category/100881_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Top 10 Unluckiest People - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/160479.html

10 Cities You Must Visit - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/160480.html

10 Most Common Girls' Passwords - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/160481.html

Creative Puns for Creative Minds - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/160484.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SOP - B - OLDE MOVIES - MOVIE STARS - SILENT FILMS - STARLETS - MUSICIANS

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/category/102_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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#1 Stranger

---------------------

Time for something NEW! - We never disappoint!

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Vol 877 - Feb. 14, 2010 - Strange Valentine Record Breakers

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Time for something NEW - we never disappoint!

Trapped at the office waiting for happy hour can be a snoozefest. No more. The Toilet Paper is daily email newsletter delivers the most shocking quotes, stats, facts, and lists about one noteworthy news topic each day. Laser sharp, bust out funny, and not afraid to cross the line. Sign up to make this happy hour part of your routine.

IT'S STRANGE! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
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------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Ten Classic Valentines Sayings

Love is friendship set on fire. Jeremy Taylor

Love is a game that two can play and both win. Eva Gabor

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. Jerome K. Jerome

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach. Elizabeth Barrett Browning

'Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.' Anon

For twas not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart
Twas not my lips you kissed
But my soul.
Judy Garland

Love is the heart of the soul. Robert Paul

A hundred hearts would be too few To carry all my love for you.
Anon

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. Emo Philips

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. Anon

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Valentine Record Breakers

Longest Engagement
Octavio Guillen and Adriana Martinez from Mexico finally got married in June 1969, after a 67-year engagement. Both were 82 years old when they wed.

Longest Kiss
Karmit Tzubera and Dror Orpaz kissed for 30 hours 45 minutes, on April 5, 1999, to win a kissing contest held at Rabin Square, Tel-Aviv, Israel. They remained standing and went without rest breaks. They were later treated for exhaustion. For their efforts, the couple won a trip around the world and US $2,500 in cash.

Longest Marriage
Cousins Sir Temulji Bhicaji Nariman and Lady Nariman from India were married when they were both five years old in 1853. Their marriage lasted 86 years, until Sir Temulji's death aged 91 years, 11 months in 1940.

Most Kissing Couples
The greatest number of couples to have kissed in the same place at the same time was 1,420, at the University of Maine in Orono, Maine, US, on Feb 14, 1996.

Oldest Bride
At the age of 102, Minnie Munro became the world's oldest known bride when she married Dudley Reid in Point Clare, Australia, on May 31, 1991. The groom was 83

Oldest Divorced Couple
The highest combined age of a divorcing couple is 188, by Ida Stern (91) and her husband Simon (97) of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, US, in Feb 1984.

Oldest Groom
Harry Stevens was 103 years old when he married 84-year-old Thelma Lucas at the Caravilla Retirement Home, Wisconsin, US, on Dec 3, 1984.

Oldest surviving love poems
Written in a clay tablet from the times of the Sumerians, who were the inventors of writing, around 3500 B.C. It was unromantically named Istanbul #2461 by the archaeologists who unearthed it.

Oldest woman to become a sex symbol
Mae West has been portrayed as one of the very few stars who was "self-made and self-sustaining," owing her success to herself alone, not to a director, scriptwriter, make-up artist, or photographer. What is perhaps most remarkable about her is that she first arrived at Hollywood when she was forty years of age - "grotesquely late to begin a film career".

Youngest Married Couple
In 1986, it was reported that an 11-month-old boy had been married to three-month-old girl at Aminpur, Bangladesh. The marriage had been arranged in order to end a 20-year-old feud between two families.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

MONTANA STATE TROOPER 'OUT RUNS' DRUNK - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/160008.html

STRANGE CUSTOM CAR FURNITURE - 1959 CADILLAC TAIL WINDOW FRAME - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/160203.html

STRANGE OLDE ANIMAL PICTURES - ELEPHANT - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/160250.html

STRANGE OLDE POST CARDS CIRCA 1904 - AFRICA - TRIBE MEMBERS - SAFARI LEADER - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/160259.html

STRANGE DRAGSTERS AND FUNNYCARS! - WHEELS FLYING OFF - PARACHUTE OPEN - FRONT END GONE! - http://www.strangeeacer.com/content/item/160301.html

B-58 HUSTLER - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/160306.html

CARS YOU WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN - 1941 CHRYSLER THUNDERBOLT - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/160363.html

ULTIMATE ICE FISHING - CATCHING A FEW RAYS AND PERCH! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/160402.html

CITROEN 2CV - WORLDS UGLIEST AND SLOWEST CAR EVER - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/160428.html

ICE FISHING SUCCESS - DOG GUARDS A MESS OF PERCH! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/160438.html

STRANGE AIRPLANE RESCUE FROM A TREE TOP! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/160441.html

STUPID NAME FOR A PARTY BOAT - TITANIK! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/160442.html

TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN - GREAT VIEW! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/160444.html

CAT JUMPING FROM BOAT TO BOAT - DID SHE MAKE IT? - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/160445.html

STRANGE VEGETABLES - WORLD RECORD BOK CHOY - PICK UP TRUCK - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/160447.html

TALL CAR CARRIER AND LOW BRIDGE DO NOT MATCH - NEW VAN TOAST! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/160449.html

STRANGE NEW BUS - OLD WORLD MEETS NEW WORLD! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/160451.html

THE REASON GUYS LOVE POOL ROOMS - BLONDES! - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/160453.html

==================================
The Featured Pix Category This Week - ANIMATIONS - GIF'S - POWER POINT PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/55_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Valentine's Day Trivia - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/105551.html

Redneck Valentines Day Poem - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/22905.html

Valentines Day Quickies! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/25404.html

1943 - Tips on Getting More Efficiency from your Women Employees - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/113503.html

Strange Valentine's Day Jokes - Groaners - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/160466.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - ANIMATIONS - GIF'S - POWER POINT PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/121_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Time for something NEW! - We never disappoint!

Trapped at the office waiting for happy hour can be a snoozefest. No more. The Toilet Paper is daily email newsletter delivers the most shocking quotes, stats, facts, and lists about one noteworthy news topic each day. Laser sharp, bust out funny, and not afraid to cross the line. Sign up to make this happy hour part of your routine.

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Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "FASHIONABLY LATE FOR ITS OWN FUNERAL"

 

This Week:
* SHOUT - Mel Gibson cut-up
* SHRED - Cool post box prank
* STAR WARS - with the Osmonds

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "Fucking hell it's Friday
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | the 12th! That's a bit
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| spooky init?"

B3ta tweets2pager service 415 - 12 Feb 2010

Print this out and wipe your shitty arse with it:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue415/

JOIN US: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
QUITTERS: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Buy this book - while you still can!

"Keith Farnish has been called a 'Fascist'
(James Delingpole) and an alarmist calling for
'Mass Genocide' (Alex Jones), because he wrote
a book about helping humanity to survive,
called 'Time's Up!' It's pretty controversial,
but a cracking read. There's also a free
version, because he's nice like that."
http://www.timesupbook.com

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Gibson, When You Were Born & Papershredders

>> Mel Gibson cut up. Hooray! <<
"Had a go at making a career out of this
stuff," sighs b3ta legend swedemason. "It
didn't really work out, so I'm getting back to
what I think I know." In this case, nailing a
dance beat to a juicy slice of Mel Gibson ham,
to make the angriest phone-call ever.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/gimmebackmason

>> What happened in my birth year? <<
Here's Philipp with a web toy of surprisingly
philosophical bent. Enter your birth year and
it'll give you a well-informed little spiel
about how the world has changed since then.
http://whathappenedinmybirthyear.com

>> Shredding the mail <<
"Here's a short video we did for a school
contest," explains DaSchop. "A little fun with
an office paper shredder." Classic prank of the
Candid Camera variety, making it look like
people's letters are getting destroyed as they
post them. Shower these guys with complimentary
feedback btw - apparently, their teachers are
watching. BTW: Paper shredder, paper
shredder, nothing makes hamsters deader.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Shredding_peoples_mail

>> I'm a manatee bitch! <<
"hi dude made a new thing, incase it's any use
for the newsletter," writes Joel using a
keyboard with a mysteriously broken shift key,
"it's called I'm The Manatee, Bitch! and it's
here." Aha, looks like he fixed his keyboard
then. Woo hoo.
http://www.rathergood.com/manatee

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Celebrity Hate

Last week we asked for the famous people you
really, really cannot stand. A cathartic
exercise for all involved, really:
http://b3ta.com/questions/famebacklash/

* RONALD MCDONALD - "Back in the late 80s I was
only interested in one famous person: Ronald
McDonald, mascot of the best place to eat in
the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! My mother didn't really
approve of fast food, so my only chance to go
came with an invitation to a McParty. My heart
did somersaults. Not only was I going to get a
Happy Meal but I'd meet Ronald Mc-Bloody-
Donald! I was giddy with sheer unadulterated
excitement. Mum dropped me off in my little
frock and I tentatively crossed the threshold
of the Golden Arches. Stuffed with burgers and
cake, we were racing around, burning off the
energy playing hide and seek. The birthday girl
and I had discovered a perfect hiding place
underneath a table and were awaiting being
found when all of a sudden a big pair of yellow
gloves appeared and pulled me out from under
the table. I was lifted up, past the stripy
socks, past the yellow suit to the scariest
face I had ever seen in my life! I recoiled
instantly, bringing my hands up to my face.
This wasn't right, no Happy Meal jolly Ronald,
this was a big man with blood red lips and
yellow teeth, right in my face. He was
horrifying. I screamed and struggled. He smelt
of stale cigarettes and sweat and started
bouncing me up and down asking where the
birthday girl was. I squeaked "put me down" but
he didn't seem to hear or care, so I did the
only other thing I could think of and kicked
him. Square in his McNuggets. He dropped.
Ronald McDonald remains entirely responsible my
crippling fear of clowns." (Flim-Flam the
Magnificent)

* SIR JIMMY SAVILLE - "My mum hates the man,
and what fucks her off is his charity work.
Despite being from Leeds, Sir Jim pledges a lot
of time down South to Stoke Mandeville
Hospital, where mum was a nurse. The directors
love him there. New spinal ward open? Get a
handshake with Jimmy as a pulls a drag on a
cigar. Front page stuff for the local rag. Need
someone to cheer the patients up? Send in Jimmy
to do his radio DJ stuff. It's all in good fun,
but when you're assisting a heart surgery, a
delicate operation in a sterile room, and all
of a sudden an 80 year old in polyester bursts
through the door screaming 'Righto righto!'
with a couple of cameramen on his heels,
smoking, around oxygen tanks and over a man's
exposed heart and four hours of work are undone
by cigar ash... the only mark on my mum's
work record is laying into a retired radio
DJ for endangering patients and staff. Seven
times." (FoxyBadger)

* STEPHANIE - "You know, her off Lazytown. Six
years I have been sending her pictures of my
cock and not so much as a thank you. Stuck up
bitch." (DrTugnut2)

>> This Week's Question: Mums <<
Your mum. Talk to us here, don't worry she
doesn't use b3ta.
http://b3ta.com/questions/mums/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Bodybuilding gone wrong <<
If swollen, distorted limbs are your measure of
manliness then feast your eyes. Apparently,
some bodybuilders inject themselves with a
synthetic oil to make their muscles appear
larger. Or perhaps they've illegally implanted
additional brains to their biceps, so as to
clear out the pub quiz machine.
http://artsyspot.com/what-went-wrong-synthol-victims/

>> How To Store and Organise Cats <<
Herding cats is notoriously difficult, but
tidying them away is no problem at all if
you're organised enough.
http://snurl.com/catstorage

>> Scary video chat thing <<
Clever little site that matches up visitors
with other visitors via the medium of webcam.
You'll get to see a lot of penises and foreign
people. However, it's so deeply compelling
we've been coming back all week. No plans to
get our cock out mind you.
http://chatroulette.com/

>> Paperchase copycats? <<
Big negs for card shop Paperchase, as it looks
like their creatives have lifted a design from an
illustrator's website. Our anonymous inside
source says "Back in the day they used to sell
notebooks with a big red cross on them, until
the charity people came round and made them
stop."
http://tumblr.com/xws6cclut

-------------------------------------------------

: The Accidental Pornographer
Sponsored linky number two

"The Accidental Pornographer, a refreshingly
honest and very funny tale of hope, ineptitude
and failure in the murky world of porn - sort
of the opposite to a Richard Branson book."
http://snurl.com/lovelylovelybook

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
"Video will never work on the web", B3ta 2001

>> Star Wars Osmonds <<
We have a friend who's convinced that an
excessive love of sci-fi is an infallible sign
of being a raging homosexualist. Here's
Exhibit A: Donnie and Marie Osmond's musical
Star Wars... with Kris Kristofferson. Oh, and
this is still better than Phantom Menace.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/429076

>> Great aftershave ad <<
Good to see granddads' favourite Old Spice
making a play for a younger crowd with tongue
in cheeky commercials like these. Plus it's
eye-candy for the ladies.
http://snurl.com/itsdiamonds

>> Nice road safety campaign <<
"I know it's not the usual b3ta fodder," begins
samgrimmett, "But my mate Dan Cox has written
and directed a new road safety ad." And what a
thing it is, dropping the usual lashings of
blood and angst for a lovely, positive message.
"It's been funded by Sussex Safer Roads but if
there's enough interest it could get on TV!"
concludes our man Sam.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Nice_road_safety_campaign

>> 20th Century Fox like you never heard before <<
Short but sweet, love it.
http://snurl.com/bathos

>> T-shirt timelapse <<
Clever time lapse video with each frame being a
new t-shirt. And then you buy the t-shirt.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/T_shirt_timelapse_thing

>> Water / Ceiling Prank <<
Sneaky trick with an excellent watery payoff.
Genuinely tempted to try this out.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Water_Ceiling_Prank

>> 50 impressions, 50 seconds. <<
Does what it says on the tin. Also convincing
impression of someone having a breakdown.
http://www.wimp.com/fiftyimpressions/

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Your perineal favourite

* JAP-SAI - There's no way they aren't in on
this. No way at all. Surely.
http://www.jap-sai.com


* PHALLIC TOWEL HOLDER - unusual camera angle
lets us know what was on the photographer's
mind.
http://snurl.com/cockytissue

* ROD FANNI - Fun fact: this French
International footballer has a name that sounds
like sex. LOL.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_Fanni

* FUCK FIAT - With our vigilant eye for
quality, we passed this one to our Brazilian
fact-checker. Her response: "Haha that's
hilarious, is it for real?"
http://www.fiatfuck.com.br/

* SHAGGETT - "I've just started working at a
new job and this is one of the women I work
with," proclaims Colonel Santiago. "A rather
unfortunate first initial, I think you'll
agree. Full marks to the parents for getting
away with that!"
http://www.b3tards.com/u/bd2170d0b76a9701d756/untitled.jpg

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Save ITV Challenge

ITV is up shit creek at the moment, the
business model was based on people watching ads
as part of scheduling - this has been been
completely broken by the evil nerds who
invented downloading. Can you help?

Our favourites included:

* DANCING ON ACID - props to Barbarossa for
this great little gag and, in a case of great
minds think alike @Glinner tweets, "Hey, BBC!
Idea: 'Dancing on Acid'. I'd watch it!"
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9908665

* WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE DEATH SQUADS -
thanks to Otis Flemming for putting the
laughter into slaughter here.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9902634

* INSPECTOR HORSE - "Ahh Lewis, I don't think
this one died of colic, let's nip off to the
barn for a pint of hay ok?" (Thanks McBadger)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9902884

All these images, and the highest as
voted by you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/itv/

>> New challenge: Corporate greenwash <<
Loving the phrase "corporate greenwash" doing
the rounds at the moment - meaning the
horseshit big business spouts in its marketing
materials, claiming to be super-amazing for the
environment whilst dumping ocean liners full of
tip-ex on baby seals. Thought you lot might
think of some funnier examples. Go on, this is
the shit you do right?
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/greenwash/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* GLITCH - a new MMOG coded by one-time b3ta
co-founder Cal Henderson looks like it's going
to be amazing. But we particularly enjoyed the
Guardian write-up for the continuing struggle
that journalists have in describing our site.
This week we're a "notoriously outré message
board."
http://snurl.com/gruniadglitch

* ROFLCON - Joel tells us he has just signed
for speaking and panelling at Massachusetts'
ROFLCon II. So, if you're hankering for the
Veitchian superman to autograph your tits (male
or female), you'll want to head along there at
the end of April. Or turn up at his house
unexpectedly, like we do.
http://snurl.com/joelbitesuninvitedguests

* HUMOUR NOT TUMOUR - After last week's 'reading
b3ta with chemo', Seventh steps the hardcore up
a notch. "I once read the newsletter on my
phone whilst having a massive great needle
pushed into my spine with woefully little
anaesthetic," he confides. "Used to have lumbar
punctures every 6 weeks and B3ta weblols were
better than lying there wondering if I'd still
be able to walk if they slipped. They let me
have my phone on the ward 'cos it was better
than having me whine and scream through it.
Huge hugs to Nevillebartos and best of luck
with the chemo."

"I read all the newsletters thru May-Oct '09
in a hospital while getting chemo for
lymphoma," adds djigho. "Result? B3ta kicks
cancer's ass. Thank you & goodnight." Woo!
There's a definite correlation between reading
the newsletter and recovering from cancer -
someone better tell the Daily Mail!

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
One Button Bob

Bob's a simple chap - you complete the game
using only the left mouse button. Fighting the
boss gets a little tricky though.
http://www.lingolux.com/2010/02/03/one-button-bob/

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* ROBBERY SCHEMES - "You know that thing this
week where a blog item about Facebook
accidentally got to the top of Google for
"Facebook Login". Can someone do the same for
'Natwest Bank'? This time next year, Rodders,
we'll be millionaires..." (Scaryduck)

* HISTORY-SPECIFIC RESTAURANTS - "Instead of a
cuisine, you eat a time period's food."
(@Neilmajor)


* I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN AP - "I'd like an
application that reminds you of that thing that
you were thinking of earlier but now you've
forgotten what it was. Not sure how it would
work. An endless list of prompt questions,
perhaps, that you could answer with 'No, not
exactly... Um...'" (@somegreybloke)

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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by via Christian
Heilmann, VampireMonkeyOnSpeed, barrieface,
nattydread, mike woz ere, largoembargo, Swany,
the_log_knows, Frightguy, thick as a brick,
Balloonhead, Colonel Santiago, NuffMuff,
littlefish, @piersb, Dave! Top Tippery by x
Additional linkage and image challenge by
Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols via Joe Scaramanga.


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Your Mum's so fat, when she fell down the
stairs I thought EastEnders was ending. (Kierz)
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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