VOL 1098 - March 28, 2012 - Strange Test - An Ethical Dilemma - What Would You Do?

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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A Tribute to Spring Fun - Final March Craziness !

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_10784.html
STRANGE SPORTS CELEBRITIES CRIBS AND COMPOUNDS - SOCCER STARS - NFL FOOTBALL - MLB BASEBALL - NBA BASKETBALL STARS!

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_10076.html
STRANGE SCARY INSECT PHOTO CLOSE-UPS - ELECTRON MICROSCOPE - INSECT - SPIDERS - MITES - WASPS - SPIDERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_3777.html
TROUBLE WITH UMPIRES - REFEREES - OFFICIALS - LINESMEN - COACH !!!!!!!

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_10702.html
STRANGE OLD & NEW TEARDROP CAMPER TRAILERS - CHECK OUT THE NEW STRANGEVEHICLES CATEGORY - CAMPERS - TRAILERS

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/news_10477.html
STRANGE WORKPLACE ACTION GIF'S - GOOFY OFFICE PROBLEMS - STRANGENESS

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Strange Quotes - 10 Most Romantic Movie Quotes:

1. Dirty Dancing - "I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you."

2. Jerry Maguire - "You had me at hello."

3. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - "I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone."

4. Moulin Rouge! - "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."

5. Casablanca - "We'll always have Paris."

6. Wings of Desire - "Longing. Longing for a wave of love that would stir in me. That's what makes me clumsy. The absence of pleasure. Desire for love. Desire to love."

7. As Good As It Gets - "You make me want to be a better man"

8. Say Anything... - "What I really want to do with my life - what I want to do for a living - is I want to be with your daughter. I'm good at it.

9. Annie Hall - "Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I do, don't you think I do?"

10. Brokeback Mountain - "Truth is, sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - An Ethical Dilemma - What Would You Do?

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car.

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.

However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. I love this, I may actually use it sometime for an interview situation.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

He simply answered: ""I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital.
I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams.""

Never forget to ""Think Outside of the Box."

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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BB-62 USS NEW JERSEY - US NAVY BATTLESHIP - 1953 16 INCH GUNS SALVO - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/181914.html

OLDE FIRE TRUCKS & EQUIPMENT - 1940 AMERICAN LaFRANCE JOX600 SERIES - 100 FT LADDER - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/181935.html

STRANGE MILITARY SOLDIERS - TROOPS COMING HOME! - C-130 PACKED FULL OF SOLDIERS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/181951.html

THE GREAT OLDE AIRLINES FLYING DAYS - EASTERN AIRLINE FOOD CHEFS BRING SPECIAL FOOD AND DESERTS FOR PASSENGERS - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/181968.html

SURFING DANGERS - HUGE WAVE - ARE THESE GUY CRAZY OR JUST STUPID? - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181971.html

STRANGE CELEBS - A REAL LIVE BARBIE DOLL? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181987.html

STRANGE COLLAGE OF HOTELS WHERE STARS HAVE DIED - JAMES BELLUSHI - MARTIN LUTHER KING - ROCK STARS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/182004.html

AMAZING ACTION GIF - LARGE MERCHANT SHIP BROADSIDES DOCKED SHIP! CUTS IT IN HALF! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/182047.html

STRANGE OCEAN DANGERS AND INHABITANTS - SHARK SWIMS THRU LARGE FISH SCHOOL WHO SCURRY AWAY - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/182016.html

KATY PERRY - WORLD PREMIER VOLKSWAGEN - SEXY DRESS - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/182020.html

STRANGE INSECTS & BUGS - BLUE DRAGON FLY - UP CLOSE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/181576.html

PRINCE CHARLES'S HOTTIE CAMILLA OOGLES SHIRTLESS SPORTS GUYS - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/181675.html

STRANGE AMPHIBIOUS BOAT TRUCK - TRUCK BOAT! - http://www.strangevehicle.com/content/item/181864.html

THE WORLD'S STRANGEST & MOST DEADLY LAKES - BOILING LAKE, DOMINICA ISLAND - CARIBBEAN - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/181717.html

STRANGE BLONDE ZEBRA JOCKEY - HER COAT CREATES A STRANGE VIEW OF HER AND THE ANIMAL! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/182048.html

AMAZING F-15 EAGLE PILOT COCKPIT LOOK-BACK AT 2 F-16 ESCORTS - THESE NAVY JET JOCKEY'S ARE CRAZY! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/182033.html

STRANGE HISTORY - ART IN THE PAST COMPARED TO ART NOW - WOW - WHAT A CONTRAST! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/182041.html

OLDE WORLD WAR II EQUIPMENT - STRANGE ONE MAN RED CROSS STRETCHER TRICYCLE WITH ROLL DOWN COVER & SIDE FLAPS - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/182042.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SF - I - OLDE FARM EQUIPMENT - TRACTORS - TRUCKS - AUTOS - PLOWS - COMBINES

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/101266_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- 15 Strange Facts From Around the World - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/181597.html

- Top 20 Things You Wish You Could Say At Work - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/23758.html

- Strange Speeding Tickets - Which State is the Most Expensive? - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/152098.html

- 10 Strange Things About the FBI - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/155189.html

- You Might be From Las Vegas if… - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/155537.html

- The Strange History of The Taxi - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/156333.html

- Strange Dragster Driver Nicknames! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/157996.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SF - I - OLDE FARM EQUIPMENT - TRACTORS - TRUCKS - AUTOS - PLOWS - COMBINES

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!
a

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

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Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

VOL 1097 - March 25, 2012 - 20 Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly is Unzipped

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

A Tribute to Spring Fun - March Craziness !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10784.html
STRANGE TOYS & GAMES - CHESS SETS - ALL KINDS - STAR TREK - STAR WARS - BIZARRE

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/news_8311.html
FARM EQUIPMENT - THE JOHN DEERE EFFECT!

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/news_7824.html
NEW CELEBS CATEGORY - TV NEWSCASTERS - ANCHORS & PUNDITS! FOXY BLONDES

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_4771.html
WHY HUSBANDS, BOYFRIENDS AND MEN GET INTO TROUBLE

http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/news_10411.html
IS THERE ANYTHING HOTTER/SEXIER THAN A GOLD OR SILVER BIKINI????

==================================

Strange "Drinking" Quotes:

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - 20 Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly is Unzipped

TOP 20 WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR FLY IS UNZIPPED:

20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17) You've got Windows on your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier isn't so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
13) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
12) Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2) I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

and The Number One Way to Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped..

1) Men are From Mars, I Can See Your Penis.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE MILITARY EQUIPMENT - NORTHRUP B-35 FLYING WING - FROM THE RIGHT WING VIEW - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/181912.html

OLDE VENDING MACHINES - 1931 ENGLAND BLACKJACK CIGARETTE DELIVERED A LIT CIGARETTE FOR 1 CENT! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/181929.html

STRANGE GERMAN TRAIN POSTER - MOST GERMANS OWN A SECOND PROPERTY - GREECE! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/181930.html

STRANGE CELEBS - SPECIAL BLACK VINYL CAT WOMAN - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181988.html

OLDE FIRE TRUCKS & EQUIPMENT - 1930'S LOS ANGELES AIR AMBULANCE CREW - AMBULANCE - AIRPLANE & EQUIPMENT - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/181946.html

STRANGE POLICE PARKING VIOLATION FUN IN LAS VEGAS - SCRATCH OFF "TAKE A CHANCE" TICKETS - PAY FINE OR GAMBLE THAT FINE WILL DOUBLE ($x2) - $.0 ZERO - OR THEY PAY YOU! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181949.html

FINALLY A SIGN THAT WORKS - HANDICAPPED PARKING DEFINITION CLARIFIED! - STUPIDITY IS NOT A DISABILITY! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/181963.html

STRANGE LITLE GREEN FROG SITTING ON A POST WITH A MATCHING GREEN BUTTERFLY SITTING ON HIS HEAD! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181964.html

STRANGE UNDERWATER DIVING FUN - SHARK GIVES DIVER A HIGH FIVE AS HE SWIMS BY! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181965.html

STRANGE FAST FOOD FAILS THAT McDONALDS INTRODUCED IN DIFFERENT REGIONS AND COUNTRIES - SPAM McGRIDDLE - McAFRICA BURGER? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181966.html

STRANGE OLDE ACTION GIF'S - CRUSIN' ON FRIDAY NIGHTS! - CAR HOP SKATES OVER THE FAST FOOD ORDER AT THE DRIVE IN! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181967.html

AMAZING PPS PRESENTATION - WWI & WWII CLASSIC AIRPLANES - FROM THE RED BARONS TRI-WING TO COMBAT FIGHTERS! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/181972.html

STRANGE CUSTOM PANEL VAN - AMAZING "VAN-GO" FORMED AND SPELLED OUT IN THE BODY! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/181859.html

STRANGE INSECTS & BUGS - LARGE YELLOW & BLACK SPIDER - IT'S HUGE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/181575.html

STRANGE OLDE POLICE VEHICLES - MOBILE BOOKING CAGE AS MOTORCYCLE SIDECAR! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/181612.html

STRANGE WINTER SNOW DANGERS - HUGE SLABS OF SNOW SLIDE OFF APARTMENT ROOF AND SMASH CARS IN PARKING LOT - LOOK OUT BELOW! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/181703.html

THE WORLD'S STRANGEST & MOST DEADLY LAKES - LAKE KIVU - CONGO, AFRICA - http://www.strangeangers.com/content/item/181715.html

STRANGE MILITARY CAMOUFLAGE - FACE PAINT - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/181746.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - DAY TRIPS - STRANGE DESTINATIONS - BRIDGES - MOTELS - TOURIST SPOTS - GAS STATIONS - JUNK YARDS - DEALERSHIPS - PARKING LOTS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100726_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Winner For The Worst 1st Date Story - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/181683.html

Strange Baseball Facts - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/174511.html

Top Ten Signs You're On A Lame Spring Break - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/114882.html

Brilliant Lines - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/21479.html

Strange Historical Misconceptions - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/21638.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - DAY TRIPS - STRANGE DESTINATIONS - BRIDGES - MOTELS - TOURIST SPOTS - GAS STATIONS - JUNK YARDS - DEALERSHIPS - PARKING LOTS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/113_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!
a

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "NEWSLETTER MINIMUM CHARGE LAW SHOCK: 40P PER KITTEN UNIT"

 

This Week:
* DOORS! - How fucking good are they?
* 8BIT GAMING - Probably shit but fun to look at
* MATTRESSES - Celebrity lookalikes

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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | web by pressing
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| CRTL +S"

B3ta email 521 - 23 MAR 2012

Print this issue out & wear it as a hat:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue521

Cuddles : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Uncuddles : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: ZOMBIE SHOPPING MALL - £119 (Sponsored link)
Shoot Zombies in abandoned shopping centre!

An abandoned shopping centre is due for
demolition. Wish.co.uk have come up with an
idea of utter genius: use it to spend the day
shooting zombies.

This is probably the bestest idea anyone has
chosen to advertise in the B3ta newsletter
ever.

Simon Pegg says: "Oh hell yes!!! If you can get
there, get some!"
http://bit.ly/GK3Txn

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Stuff, things, smells

>> Doors doors doors <<
"Hi, I am Mike Fordham," writes Mike Fordham.
"I make the music videos with Kunt & the Gang
and I've just made a new vid with
singer/songwriter/comedian/curly-haired Elliot
Mason for a track called 'Doors'." Needless to
say, we... a-door it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LohoUFGCJ8g

>> Happy-Go-Lucky Johnny <<
"We came up with an idea that we couldn't do in
live action," informs Ornsack. "So we ended up
making our first ever 2D animated short! NSFW
due to k00l swear words and RAD graphic
violence." Johnny, the happy-go-lucky knife.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Happy_Go_Lucky_Johnny

>> Autoglass chip <<
"I've been playing around with Gavin,"
confesses kfk, about what is possibly some sort
of Autoglass viral but is definitely a
dad-worthy groaner of a gag.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Autoglass

>> Clothes Shopping <<
"My take on fashion, yeah?" Sheep always
marches to the beat of his own drum.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Clothes_Shopping

>> Chainsaw Babe <<
"Here's my latest piece of clay," growls a
blood-spattered Lee Hardcastle. This chunky
lump of stop-motion ultraviolence actually
turned our stomachs, which can only a good
thing. The one thing Lee has held back on is
nudity, in an attempt to chase that SFW
certificate. But, "if you want to see clay tits
& minge then for $1.99 it is yours."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/CHAINSAW_BABE

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: JACKPOT PARTY (sponsored link)
Fruit Machines have just got "social"

You've played fruit machines - they normally
spin round with a load of silly bells and
lemons and stuff that means jack shit to no
one. So imagine if instead it was your
friend's faces from Facebook spinning around
whilst you tried to match Likes, Locations,
Star Signs etc with them? And you could find
out what sordid things you both like at the
end? And it was free? You'd want to play some
of that now, wouldn't you?
http://JackpotParty.com/FriendSlot

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Training Courses

Your QOTW editor once had to train an England
Rugby player to use a computer. I'll never forget
the look of glazed panic in his eyes:
http://b3ta.com/questions/trainingcourses/

* PERSONAL SPACE INVADERS - "Forget 'Buzzword
bingo' - some colleagues and I play 'Personal
space invaders' When there's the obligatory
socialising/getting to know fellow attendees
bollocks try this: Pick a target or goal (a
doorway, particular table or whatever) Each
player must then pick a fellow attendee to use
as a 'puck'. You then engage your puck in
conversation whilst subtly invading their
personal space in order to manoeuvre them into
the goal. This is harder than it sounds, but
the real skill is to keep up a conversation
despite their discomfort. Once the goal is
reached the winning player must pull their top
over their face and run around waving their
arms and yelling 'GOOOOOALL' in a Brazilian
commentator styleee. The most difficult pucks
in my experience have been women and gay men
who think I'm coming on to them. I have,
*ahem*, been propositioned by more than one
lady whilst playing, though..." (Captain Placid)

* FOAM - "I was selected for a leadership
course in the RAF: a series of retarded
team-building exercises. One involved placing a
large number of small foam cylinders on the
classroom floor and guiding a blindfolded
team-mate through this foamy minefield.
Because, obviously, matters of national
security require the same leadership qualities
as the Crystal Maze. The instructor, a
naturally boring man with a small, untidy
moustache and a savage overbite, left the room
with the people who were to be blindfolded.
Whereupon I put my leadership skills to work: I
outlined my proposed pattern, considered advice
from my fellow cylinder plonkers and set my
team to work. After five minutes or so, the
instructor returned to six giggling adults and
a crudely drawn foam penis, complete with
scrotum, spanning the entire length of his
particularly large classroom." (Chocolate
Hostage)

* LATE - "About 90 of us, packed in to an
auditorium. About 25 mins into a session about
fire drills, a door opened and someone walked
in, obviously late, panting, clasping a few
documents. Everyone is aware of him as he
stands at the front, looking up to find a seat.
He notices a seat right in the middle. "Excuse
me," he says to the man on the end of the row
to let him past. Everyone is aware of him, he
is making lots of noise. People have to stand
up to let him past. "Excuse me... pardon...
sorry... excuse me..." People are having to
gather their things so they can stand up to let
him past. Finally, he reaches his seat, takes
his coat off and sits down as, to the second,
the video comes to an end, and everyone gets up
and leaves." (Dan dan dan)


>> This Week - My First Internets <<
Do you remember having to send email by knitting
individual zeroes and ones from your own beard
hairs? Tell us of your first internet experiences:
http://b3ta.com/questions/internethistory/

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: CAPITAL BY JOHN LANCHESTER BOOK WINNERS
Compo give-away results from last week

Last week we asked you what would your life be
like in 10 years? Signed books winging their
way to Fr_Jerry_Mcwler, FBman, joefishEnzyme &
monkeon.

If you want to know what JOHN LANCHESTER
thinks your life will be like in 10 years then
sign up to the Pepys Rd site. You'll get 1
email a day for 10 days predicting 2002, 2003
etc. One lovely detail we found fascinating is
that it shows you whether you've come up in
the world or sunk via your postcode related to
average house price.
http://www.pepysrd.com/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> East Berlin's dinosaur graveyard <<
Moody pics of an abandoned former Communist
amusement park. We could not get tired of
looking at those dinosaurs, slowly falling to
pieces and tipped on their backs by German
drunks.
http://bit.ly/wCcgAp

>> Sir Ian Bowler's £10 manifesto <<
As "the only openly corrupt politician" in the
mayoral race, Sir Ian is offering the public a
chance to dictate his manifesto pledges in
return for a donation to his election campaign.
It's already become a rather baroque read.
http://ebowler.co.uk/about/

>> How to program your 808 drum machine <<
Starkly beautiful posters, showing you how to
reproduce classic pieces of electronic drum
wizardry.
http://www.robricketts.co.uk/808.html

>> Star Trek 90s fashion <<
Super-nerdy analysis of Star Trek: The Next
Generation from a fashion perspective. That
show really has seen some fashion crimes.
Which are currently being worn around
Dalston, ofc.
http://sttngfashion.tumblr.com/

>> Celebs who look like mattresses <<
Inspired bit of observation from London's
capital of abandoned bedding.
http://on.fb.me/Gzwm8T

>> The Free Universal Construction Kit <<
Want to build something out of half-Lego and
half-K'nex? Well now you can! Genuinely and
amazing thing - a set of adaptors that turn all
of your children's 'build stuff' toys into one,
giant construction set.
http://fffff.at/free-universal-construction-kit/

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: B3TAN BOOKS AND MUSIC
Available via Amazon loaddowns

Now that product means downloads, e-books and
MP3s rather than having to ship a load of paper
and plastic back from China there's been a
creative explosion in B3tans making stuff for
sale. Three of the best this week:

* HOW TO HAVE CREATIVE IDEAS - Dave Birss has
written a book about how to brainstorm. It's
short and readable and its main point is that
you need to bash rocks together and see what
comes up. Eg. if you're stuck, imagine how
would Sarah Silvermann solve it? What would
Bono do? Our favourite trick is going for a
walk and looking at everything we see, be it
advertising or people's shoes. The random
stimulus always helps us.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00769KB5W/b3ta-21

* DAN BULL'S NEW ALBUM - Dan AKA B3tan
Housewife is seldom out of our newsletter with
his rapping ways. His album is brilliant and
we'd advise you to buy the MP3 version as he's
only made 1 copy of the CD flogging that for £1
million. He should sell two copies, then he's
make £2 million - the silly eeejit.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B006GYFQBM/b3ta-21

* A BOOK FOR PRETEENS - DFLamont has written a
"fun adventure for kids aged 8-13". It's dirt
cheap too - £1.53 - worth a punt for your
kindle-owning children.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0078OR89C/b3ta-21

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Philo Farnsworth 2.0 is watching YOU!

>> Vortex Cannon <<
Step 1: Cut a hole in a box. Step 2: Put some
smoke in the box. You just made yourself a
full-on Vortex Cannon! Obliterate your foes!
*If your foes are plastic cups.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b2SV3ASUxY

>> "London's tempo is 122.86bpm" <<
Talking Heads frontman David Byrne wanders
round London with a tape recorder, producing a
vid that resembles a cockney The Shining. We
love this idea - hope it inspires Kunt to go
out recording tramps swearing, drunks pissing
etc.
http://bit.ly/GHXP7z

>> Geometric Porn App Preview <<
Sadly, the Geometric Porn app has been rejected
by the stuffed shirts at Apple, who are too
aroused by tumescent pink squares, circles and
well-endowed rectangles.
http://vimeo.com/38240759

>> Controlled Quantum Wipe'Out Track <<
Was it only last year we were all excited about
controlled quantum levitation? Now here's the
first real world application - making classic
race game Wipe'Out in real life. Well, it's
models but it might as well be real life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zqmdv5iyIOY

>> Celebrities read tweets about themselves <<
Ever wonder if that Tweet you sent really
wounded Will Ferrell? All is revealed.
http://youtu.be/RRBoPveyETc

>> Three-Way: The Golden Rule <<
Another Lonely Island/Timberlake R&B team-up.
There's simply nothing gay about two male
friends sharing the same girl. Also starring
Lady Gaga.
http://youtu.be/Pi7gwX7rjOw

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Redefining "funny" as "shit" since 1973

* GAYLORD SILLY - French-Seychellois long
distance runner, so don't think you can make
fun of him and run off, he'll catch you. And
shout at you in French.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaylord_Silly

* DICKSON POON SCHOOL OF LAW - so know you know
what lawyers who've just had a tax cut will be
spending their money on.
http://www.kcl.ac.uk/law/index.aspx

* DOMAIN NAME OF THE WEEK - mysticegg writes, "
Domain name is brutally honest, but all is not
as it seems!"
http://www.feeduscrap.com

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
8bit Mad Men

8-bit has become shorthand for old-fashioned
computer games - whereas, to our eyes, this is
closest to the Sierra On-Line stuff like
Leisure Suit Larry and Space Quest, which we
remember playing on a distinctly more than
8-bit EGA PC. Anyway - loving work despite our
pedantry.
http://bit.ly/GIkioo

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH REDUX
Last week's no-show gerbils at last!

Vampyre_gem writes, "Oh dear, what a dickhead I
am. I sent in a link (well, tried to) with some
shots of our 'disabled' gerbil (as you so
eloquently put it). I really hope that the
shots don't disappoint anyone now."
http://www.fotoblur.com/images/380269

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Beasts Of War Challenge

Last week we wanted you to celebrate the
Beasts of War.

Your favourites included:

* DENCH: Bond thwarts the Russians armed
with no more than a Walther PPK and a
non-arthropod invertebrate (Ian Woosnam)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10719861

* HOMEBASE: DIY pigeons, attack attack
attack (Ian Woosnam, again)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10718945

* EXPLOSION: terrifyingly armoured elephant
takes on the enemy (smearballs)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10721747

All these images, and the highest as
voted by you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/warbeasts/

>> New challenge: Trademarks <<
Hollywood bigwigs are making The Hobbit
pub in Southampton change its name, in
case people think Peter Jackson is
running it. So this week's challenge is
to infringe a trademark satirically,
through the medium of photoshop.
Challenge suggested by benito vaselini
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/trademarks/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* SO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY EMAIL OF THE WEEK -
nickbeddows writes, "I got a leaflet through
the door yesterday, with a photo of a cat on
it. The flyer said, 'Help, I'm Sophie and I may
be trapped in your garage or outbuilding.
Please check and call Margaret on 07770 xxx xxx
if you see me' Awww, a poor lil puddy
tat... Then I thought, hang on, if it can read,
write, type, has a PA, a mobile phone and can
operate a colour printer, it can find its own
way out of a bloody garage."

* I'VE MET MR MINGE! - Anon writes, "Now,
working in the oil and gas industry for nearly
20 years I've actually met Mr Minge. He
pronounces his surname as Min-Jay rather than
the normal minge. A few years ago he was
appointed as the big boss man of a certain
business unit in the north sea for BP. On an
offshore visit to one of the installations he
wanted to enter a confined space work area to
see what was going on. I won't bore you with
the details of the near-Naziesque safety regime
offshore but one of the requirements for this
is to register your entry into the space with a
sentry. This day the sentry was one of your
salt of the earth North east/south shields
tells it like he sees it guys. So, the big
boss, surrounded by a nervous bunch of
management and hangers on gives his name. Spell
it, says the sentry. M-I-N-G-E says the boss.
'What!' says the sentry, 'Fucking Minge? You're
fucking joking ain't ye?' Cue red faces amongst
the management and complete bewilderment from
the man. Mind you, this is also a guy who, when
first being appointed as the manager of the
unit, introduced himself to the assembled
masses by saying, and I quote, 'as I was saying
to my mother whilst in the hot tub the other
day...'"


-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* MAKE A QR CODE - that links to Goatse - print
it on a sticker - then stick it on every advert
poster in the world.

* FACEBOOK EGOMANIA - A browser app that
replaces every FB post with "LOOK AT ME!" Font
size determined by frequency of posts. (via
@Sigmaus)

* TOAST THAT STAYS HOT - all the way to the
bottom of the cup.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Cyber chums: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Utter cunts: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by @Matt_Muir,
will.vickers, @shitoptimist, @edwardrussia,
@Lee_Nolan, Pauljmoorhouse, billyh, @fredgruff,
@TomWhitwell, @thesaharadesert, Palookaville.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Tips via robneymcplum.
Subjlols via

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
Scare people by buying a few bunches of cheap
flowers, leaving them near a tree on a popular
country path with cards saying 'I hope they
catch the THING that did this to you' and '4eva
in are hartz' etc...

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VOL 1096 - March 21, 2012 - International Strange Stuff - You May Be From Canada If

VOL 1096 - March 21, 2012 - International Strange Stuff - You May Be From Canada If…

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

A Tribute to Spring Fun - March Craziness !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_2562.html
STRANGE PLACES TO GO TO THE BATHROOM WHEN TRAVELING

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10286.html
STRANGE AFRICAN MADE FURNITURE - SKINS, TUSKS & HORNS! - AMAZING COUCHES - CHAIRS - TABLES - CHESTS

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_10651.html
STRANGE MAPS OF THE WORLD AND USA - INDIAN TRIBES - RELIGION - WINDY STATES - OLD AND NEW!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_7807.html
STRANGE TOMBSTONES AND GRAVE MARKERS & STRANGE ITEMS LEFT IN REMEMBRANCE

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10640.html
OLDE CAR TRIPS - TOURIST TRAPS - TRAVELING CARNIVALS - STATE PARKS - STRANGE ATTRACTIONS

==================================

QUOTES ABOUT COUNTRIES

Canada is a country so square that even the female impersonators are women. - Richard Brenner

It's easy to understand why the most beautiful poems about England in the spring were written by poets living in Italy at the time. - Philip Dunne

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language. - P. J. O'Rourke

You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does. - P. J. O'Rourke "Holidays in Hell"

The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

"In England, everything is permitted, except that which is forbidden. In Germany, everything is forbidden, except that which is permitted. In France, everything is permitted even that which is forbidden. In the USSR, everything is forbidden, even that which is permitted." - Winston Churchill

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - You May Be From Canada If…

You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk."

You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."

You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

You drink pop, not soda.

You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean.

You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.

You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.

You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion and many more are Canadians.

You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

You know what a touque is.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee".

Your local newspaper covers the national news on two pages, but requires six pages for hockey.

You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and roadwork.

You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan." (Sas-Kat-chew-wan)

You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."

You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

"Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, "Huh?"

You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all of your Canadian friends! Then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them...further.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE CUSTOM ICE CREAM TRUCK - DRIVERS SIDE VIEW - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/181877.html

BUS RIDING DANGERS - COMMERCIAL BUS ALMOST TIPS OVER ROUNDING CORNER - UP ON 2 WHEELS! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181883.html

STRANGE WINTER ICE FISHING FUN - GRANNY CATCHES A BIG ONE! - TAKES A NIP - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/181894.html

OLDE STARS CARS - ERROL FLYNN - 1936 AUBURN SC 852 STOUT - CONVERTIBLE - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/181905.html

STRANGE US AIR FORCE BASES - MOFFET FIELD - SUNNYVALE, CA. AIRSHIP HANGER 1 - TODAY - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/181910.html

STRANGE NEW SPORTS - ELEPHANT JOUSTING! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181827.html

OLDE MINES AND MINING EQUIPMENT - THE CALADONIA No 1 - NORTHERN TERRITORY - DEADWOOD GOLD STAMP MILL - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/181832.html

AMAZING OLDE ROCK STARS - BANDS - GROUPS - BO DIDDLEY AND HIS STRANGE SQUARE GUITAR ON A MOTOR SCOOTER - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/181525.html

STRANGE PICKUP TRUCK CUSTOM PAINT JOBS - FULL FISH IMAGE - GIANT PERCH! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181858.html

STRANGE SKATING CIRCUS BEAR DOING HANDSTAND ON THE ICE RING - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181578.html

STRANGE SNOW FUN ON THE SLOPES - SKIERS CREATE LONG DUAL ICE SLIDE FOR PARENTS AND KIDS ! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/181700.html

STRANGE SNOW FUN ON THE SLOPES - NEW EXTREME SPORT - SNOW SHOVEL SLALOM - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181708.html

THE WORLD'S STRANGEST & MOST DEADLY LAKES - MOUNT RAINIER'S CRATE LAKE, WASHINGTON STATE - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/181714.html

STRANGE MOTORCYCLE FAMILY FUN - THE FIRST REAL BUCKET SEAT FOR MOTORCYCLES! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/149464.html

STRANGE ISLAND IN THE SKY CUSTOM SWIMMING POOL WITH PALM TREE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181915.html

STRANGE DRAG RACING FAIL - REAR WHEELS COME OFF BODY AT GREEN LIGHT STARTING LINE - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/181916.html

CELEBRITY STRANGENESS - LINDSEY LOHAN IN THE 90'S AND HOW SHE LOOKS TODAY - AMAZING WHAT DRUGS, ALCOHOL AND PRISON WILL DO! - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/181917.html

OLDE STARS AND THEIR CARS - BING CROSBY IN 1929 GIVING THE MOVIE STUDIO PEOPLE A RIDE IN HIS NEW 1929 OLDSMOBILE COUPE CONVERTIBLE - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/181919.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - ST - Strange International Traffic Signs and Roadway Problems

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/category/100592_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Top 9 Strange Streets in the World - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/181596.html

- Strange Baseball Injuries - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/124787.html

- Understanding Australian Slang - Caution ! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/22475.html

- Italian Phrases - Useful Phrases You Need to Know - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/22532.html

- Some Humor From Australia - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/23814.html

- 10 Strange Historical Oddities - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/153747.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - ST - Strange International Traffic Signs and Roadway Problems

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/category/108_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!
a

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

VOL 1095 - March 18, 2012 - Strange Things Learned The Hard Way

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

A Tribute to Spring Fun - March Craziness !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_3130.html
STRANGE HOVERCRAFT - ALL KINDS - PERSONAL - INDUSTRIAL - RACING!

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/news_8764.html
STRANGE FOOD, FISH AND PRODUCE FROM AROUND THE WORLD!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_9603.html
NEW - THE BEST GHOST PICTURES - PHOTOS - EVEN DIGITAL!

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_10805.html
SPORTS FUN - DIVERS AND THEIR FUNNY FACES ! PLATFORM DIVING - SYNCHRONIZED - SPRING BOARD

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/news_10993.html
STRANGE ANGRY BIRDS PRODUCTS & GAMES - MEGA APP SUCCESS! 42 MILLION DOWNLOADS - EST $35 MILLION BY 2014!

==================================

Strange Quotes:

Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. (George S. Kaufman)

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. (Joseph Heller)

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. (Ed Furgol)

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. (Charles Lamb)

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on. (Sam Goldwyn)

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. (Howard Aiken)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Things Learned The Hard Way

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE OLDE AUSTRALIAN 2 ABREAST TANDEM BICYCLE - MADE BY MALVERN STAR - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/181826.html

STRANGE INSECTS & BUGS - LARGE YELLOW & BLACK BANANA SPIDER - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181574.html

STRANGE POLICE VEHICLES - POLICE STOP SMUGGLERS TRUCK WITH FAKE WOOD LOAD - SECRET PANEL - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/181610.html

STRANGE JAPANESE TATTOO BY MAN TO STUPID TO LOOK IT UP! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181620.html

STRANGE SNOW FUN ON THE SLOPES - SKIERS CREATE HUGE SNOWBALL AND ROLL IT DOWN THE MOUNTAIN SIDE! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/181702.html

THE WORLD'S STRANGEST & MOST DEADLY LAKES - MONO LAKE, CALIFORNIA - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181713.html

DANGEROUS SPORTS - ROCK CLIMBER HANGS ON TO OVERHANG - SCARY - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/181799.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN "FLYING CHURCH" DROPPED INTO BATTLEFIELDS! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/181816.html

IRISH STEREOTYPES ARE SICKENING! - WHERE'S MY GUINNESS ? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181817.html

WINTER SPORTS DANGERS - ROCK CLIMBER GOES UP FROZEN WATERFALL WITH ICE PICKS AND CRAMPONS - WOW! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181818.html

STRANGE OLDE FARM EQUIPMENT - 1 HORSE POWER WHEAT THREASHER - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/181819.html

AMAZING SHOT OF BRIDGE DEMOLITION SIMULTANEOUS EXPLOSION - FT STEUBEN BRIDGE BETWEEN OHIO AND W. VIRGINIA - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181820.html

STRANGE ARTISTIC TALENTS - DIRTY UNWASHED CAR PORTRAITS! MARILYN MONROE ON THE TRUNK! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181822.html

STRANGE OLDE PRODUCTS - "LET'S PLAY HORSEY!" - DADDY SADDLE FOR KIDDIE RIDES - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/181823.html

WEATHER DANGERS - AMAZING AERIAL SHOT AS RAINBOW HANGS FROM RAIN CLOUD - SHOWERS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/181824.html

STRANGE ANIMAL DANGERS - COUGAR JUMPS HIGH IN THE AIR TO SNAG PHEASANT TRYING TO FLY OFF! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181825.html

AMAZING OLDE ROCK STARS - BANDS & GROUPS - ELVIS GETTING A TRAFFIC TICKET WITH HIS NEW CADILLAC - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/181523.html

SKATEBOARD DANGERS - SCARY STRAIGHT DOWN DROP FOR CRAZY SKATEBOARDER! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181821.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - * STRANGE PEOPLE - Scary & Just Plain Dumb!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/31_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- 10 Greatest Robberies in History - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/181594.html

- Strange Facts & Figures - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181723.html

- Strange Baseball Injuries - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/124787.html

- Strange and Totally Wrong Predictions - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/124863.html

- Little Known Chocolate Tidbits - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/24398.html

- Strange and Generally Useless Crap - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/24580.html

-Things That Are Difficult to say When Drunk - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/24741.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - * STRANGE PEOPLE - Scary & Just Plain Dumb!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/136_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!
a

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "IMAGINE BONO. THERE YOU GO, RUINED YOUR DAY"

 

This Week:
* ENORMOUS - Gigantic Toffee Crisp
* INNUENDO - Masterchef muck
* UNHELPFUL - One-Star Amazon reviews

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "Sticking poo in your
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | inbox since 2001
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| and still doing it"

B3ta email 520 - 14 Mar 2012

Read this issue on phone whilst crossing a road:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue520

Mystic Meg : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Mystic Smeg : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: CAPITAL by JOHN LANCHESTER (sponsored linky)
5 signed copies to be won

Capital is an extraordinary read - the story
of why our economy is sick, in novel form.
A real state of the nation book that has the
epic scope of The Wire and left us terrified
of the coming austerity apocalypse.

We think you should read it and we've got five
signed copies to give away. Simply answer this
question in 50 words or less, "What will your
life be like in 2021?" Best answers, according
to our cabal of sinister judges, will get
the books.
http://b3ta.com/board/10719652

Or, alternatively, buy the book on Amazon.
Less than a tenner and more thought-provoking
than spending yet another evening poking
social media.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0571234607/b3ta-21


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Too many things to mention. No really.

>> Masterchef Professionals innuendo <<
"I finished a new Masterchef: The Professionals
filth vid at 4am this morning (as it was the
Masterchef Final last night and I don't
sleep)," confesses Cope&Dalton's Henry. "If you
want it, it couldn't be hotter off the
presses!" Oh, we want it alright.
http://bit.ly/yMNkji

>> Giant Toffee Crisp <<
"A while back I made a giant KitKat Chunky,"
reminds corruptia. "The sugar high wore off, so
I made this giant Toffee Crisp. Enjoy!" A
perfect slice of nerdy cookery - we even loved
the music.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Giant_Toffee_Crisp

>> Decided to become a Reply Girl <<
"Reply Girls are cleavagically gifted young
ladies who find popular videos on Youtube and
post reply videos to them saying nothing in
particular, but focus on their boobs," reports
Cap'n. "I thought this was a brilliant idea,
and as an attractive, sexually comfortable
young woman I decided to make a couple."
http://bit.ly/xIIkuX

>> Stuart Ashen gets advertising gig <<
Ashen's rise to the top has been extremely
exciting for us B3ta overlords, we feel like
proud pigeons seeing their young fly for the
first time, swooping majestically over the
landscape rather than plummeting to their
death. Ashen has produced a really quite
unusual advert too, which deserves your
attention. Firstly you need to watch the set-up
which is unobtrusively placed in one of his
normal videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE8c3E_VZmY#t=423s

Then watch the payoff. Oh my fucking God.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iOfVgZYu28

>> Draw the Shitler <<
Self-explanatory printed toilet paper, invented
by liathan and now for sale. "I could use your
help," he pleads, "It's really funny, it's my
idea and I printed 1000 rolls in China. And now
my room is overcrowded!"
http://www.drawtheshitler.com

>> Trolling bigoted protesters in Adelaide <<
"Like all great cities, Adelaide has her very
own bunch of local bigots. Every Friday a group
of 15 oh-so-Christian twats meet in a place
called Rundle Mall to shout out "Slut!" or
"Fag!" at passersby and generally spoil
everyone's day," explains Sanderson Jones who,
like all comedians, is touring Australia right
now. "I decided it would be fun to wind them up
a bit."
http://youtu.be/iaz2rxmcWyg

>> An Open Letter to 1998 <<
"With apologies to John Cooper Clarke," adds
Bela Lugosi's Dad with a series of dour,
northern warnings to the era of Seinfeld, Pope
John Paul II and the 333MHz Pentium chip.
http://bit.ly/wEhRlg

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINKY WOO
Recursive todo lists

Do you know the three Rs? That's recursion,
recursion, recursion. The difference between
Pendactive and just any todo list is that it
allows infinite nesting for tasks. Imagine
that. No more lists falling apart because you
get three levels deep and the software just
can't cope. Genius on a stick.
http://www.pendactive.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Lies that went on too long

We asked for the little lies you had to keep
going a lot longer than you wanted:
http://b3ta.com/questions/liesthatwentontoolong/

* TWENTY YEAR LIE - "Last year of university,
five blokes trying to find jobs. Bob had a
good opportunity with a bank, his absolute
dream job. Now Bob professed to taking massive
drugs. The night before his interview as he
was giving us his drugs stories, Mike produced
a small pink pill, saying he didn't know what
it was, but it was reputedly strong stuff. Bob
necked it and for the rest of the evening said
he was a little light-headed but nothing odd.
Next day Bob returned with a tale of woe: told
there was a drugs test, Bob had run out of the
offices. Bye-bye nice job. Mike felt awful.
He'd told the rest of us that it was a child's
sore-throat tablet, but now Bob had messed up
the offer of a good job and Mike couldn't bear
to tell Bob the truth. We eventually found jobs,
girls, then marriage, kids. Except Bob: he
drifted in and out of temporary jobs, travelling
to Eastern Europe, Asia and then Australia,
where he moved in with a girl and took a job
which was nothing special, but allowed him to
live. All this time Mike was convinced he'd caused
this by his lie. Ten years on when we all met up,
Mike couldn't hold it back any longer: he was so
sorry, he felt awful. "That's all right mate.
Still, I wonder what might have been, eh..."
Mike left soon after. As soon as he was gone Bob
burst out laughing. He'd realised the pill was
nothing. In reality he'd had a change of heart.
He'd had a great time travelling the world, and
he couldn't be happier. That was 10 years ago.
Bob still hasn't told Mike. The twenty-year lie,
still going."
(Smale)

* YESH - "Walked into a quiet pub and for some
inexplicable reason, I ordered a pint in a
Scottish accent. It just came out. I think I'd
been thinking in Sean Connery's voice (which I
heartily recommend to add a bit of character to
your own internal monologues) Got chatting to
the barman while waiting for my friend to turn
up. Still in Scottish accent. When he turned up,
I explained what was going on, and continued
sitting at the bar and speaking in a Scottish
accent all night. Got easier and more natural
as I drank more, strangely."
(SnowyTheRabbit )

* HEARD IT ALL BEFORE - "God made me pregnant,
Joseph, I swear".
(TheManWithThePlan)

>> This Week - Training Courses <<
Have you been trained? Did it make much
difference? Or did you merely learn how to
drink a lot in a hotel? Talk to us here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/trainingcourses/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Rock'n'roll tedium <<
Imagine spending a few seconds with the gods of
our age. You'd write about it too, even if it
was a bit dull.
http://rockandrolltedium.tumblr.com/

>> Classic nudes, improved <<
Famous paintings of naked ladies get magazine
photoshop treatment. To be fair, there was a
time when the standard for beauty was 'looks
like she can afford to eat food'.
http://bit.ly/zYzG37

>> Cholafied <<
Mystifying tumblr of celebrities made over as
latina gangstas. The Hoff is the best - but
then when is he not the best?
http://bit.ly/wXnTfg

>> Michael Jackson sightings <<
Is Jacko really dead? Or did he fake it, to
escape from the grind of fame - but is sending
coded messages back to his fans? Draw your own
conclusions from this entertaining collection
of 'sightings'. Spoiler: He is dead.
http://www.michaeljacksonsightings.com/

>> Jazz Nazis <<
Stringent set of musical rules laid out by the
Nazi Party on what is and isn't permissible for
musicians. BTW: It's worth looking up some
stuff on Berlin's 1930s jazz scene - those guys
were fighting the Nazis before it was cool.
What a bunch of hipsters.
http://bit.ly/xKLcLm

>> Autoplay internet sounds <<
There's nothing we used to enjoy more than
opening a website and having it abruptly
serenade us with some crappy tune. Relive those
heady days of late 90s web design, with this
collection of sites with soundtracks.
http://soundsoftheinternet.com/

>> Chain pub piss-dungeon <<
One of those tales of sexual depravity that you
swear must be an urban myth but - look - there
are photos of the scene, plus the guy who found
it is my wife's sister's boyfriend's cousin.
http://bit.ly/z4xWyu

>> Least helpful reviews <<
Big lols from a liberal dollop of those
one-star Amazon reviews written by young
children or "morans". Eg. Animal Farm - one
star - "unrealistic because the animals talk".
http://leasthelpful.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: FOLLOW FRIDAY

Suicide has been staved off another week with
small bits of misanthropic humour from the
imaginary season of Friends 11. Best bit? The
cast photo with Jennifer Aniston replaced with
Iggy Pop. (A comparison that George Clooney's
g/f Elisabetta Canalis made famous in 2010;
how bitchy!)
https://twitter.com/FriendsSeason11

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like a VHS but with no tapes. AMAZING!

>> Michael Bolton meets the Lonely Island <<
Peacocking for the ladies sabotaged by
colossal, insurmountable nerdiness.
http://tinyurl.com/3ep5og3

>> 21st century's first great protest song <<
"My first thought on seeing Ill Manors was 'my
wife will want to blog this,'" scribbles Ginger
Fuhrer Rob. Raging rapper disturbingly framed
against the flames of last year's riots.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8GvLKTsTuI

>> Interviewed by your past self <<
In 2002, two friends made a pact to meet up in
ten years' time and complete the interviews
they recorded for their future selves. This is
that year. Now they're raising the cash to make
a professional job of it.
http://beta.indiegogo.com/decades

>> The Gravity Stool <<
Add iron powder to a plastic resin and apply
super-strong magnets and you get furniture
extruded by science. "I so want one of these,"
wheedles Chthonic, in a vague attempt to get
someone to buy him one.
http://vimeo.com/34773498

>> Milligan's '70s race-based sitcom <<
Sadly, only one episode of The Melting Pot
(1975) was ever broadcast, but here's a brief
taster of Spike Milligan's lost, black-face
masterpiece.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZPFOKzj0Q4

>> iPad ukulele <<
Hipsters! Throw away those tiresome, authentic
wooden instruments - now you can carry out even
more of your daily routine without ever having
to relinquish grasp on your precious, precious
iPad.
http://t.co/0SdFDGA3

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Funny with an invisible 'un'

* DOC DOC DOC DOC DOCTOR KUHNT - The Coast Of
Yemen writes, "Is the Funny Name Corner still
considered funny? A friend of mine had the
pleasure of dealing with this amusingly-named
lecturer whilst studying in Germany."
http://www.statistik.tu-dortmund.de/kuhnt.html

* RANDY BAUMGARDNER, COLORADO LEGISLATOR - as
Wikipedia states, "He is possibly more well
known as the recipient of the American Academy
for Humorous and Unfortunate Names (AAHUN)
award for 'Most Unfortunate Name in a Political
Profession' for 2008, 2009 and 2010. He lost
the title in 2011 to New York Representative
Andrew Weiner."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Baumgardner

* MINGE - WillF writes, "I suspect that only
Anglophiles such as myself noticed this story
in my local paper, and I immediately thought
of the newsletter's funny name corner. Here
you go."
http://bit.ly/AsGkKg

-------------------------------------------------

: ON THE B3TA RECORD PLAYER
Give these a spin, plop pickers

* SYMPHONY OF SCIENCE IS A MUSICAL PROJECT OF
JOHN D BOSWELL - you've probably heard the Carl
Sagan one but this week we learned that there's
a whole album to buy. It's lovely. And you can
name your price - or even get it free.
http://symphonyofscience.com/

* NEW KUNT ALBUM, SLOPPY SECONDS - Kunt writes,
"The story behind one of the tracks 'You
brought a paedo along to 5-a-side' - it's a
real life story about this bloke who came to
our Monday night indoor footy who got
convicted of being an online nonce. He used
the offer of free furniture on Habbo Hotel to
lure them in - I suppose that's the modern day
equivalent of puppies in his boot. Actually
re-reading it there's not much funny about it.
It's quite harsh. But the song is nice and
jaunty."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B007I7OOZK/b3ta-21

BTW: Kunt is doing a gig at Fiddlers Elbow,
North London, Friday week (March 23). Seeing
as this is literally a 15-minute walk from
B3ta HQ, we'll be there. Maybe you will too?
http://kunt2012.eventbrite.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Meta-Gerbils

Vampyre_gem writes, "For your 'things that
make you go ahhh' section. We're a little
obsessed with pets, 10 gerbils, cat, dog and
fish and no signs of slowing down really. But
it turned out one of the boy gerbs was a girly
gerb and ended up getting knocked up. She had
6 pups, one of whom died. 4 are doing well and
growing and the other is called 'Tripod' as he
one has 3 paws and is tiny compared to the
rest. Anyway, took this picture of him,
thought the rest of the world would like to
see. Hope he pulls through!"

Hmm. Vampyre_gem didn't give us a link and it
vaguely amuses us to have all that build up
them FLUMP! No link. So use your imagination
to think up some disabled gerbils. Yay, how cute.

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Hedgehogs Challenge

Last week we wanted you to celebrate hedgehogs

Your favourites included:

* ATTACK: terrifying confrontation with
prickly foe (maiden)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10716838

* ITCH: awww! look at the distressed
little hog, all riddled with disease!
(E Dubya)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10713603

* DARWIN: startling flora/fauna
interface action (Joe Scaramanga)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10712394

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/hedgehogs/

>> New challenge: Beasts Of War <<
Dogs, horses and pigeons are all well
known for being used in wars to patrol
borders, carry soldiers and pass on
messages. Show us the lesser known
animals that have been put to use in the
art of war. Challenge suggested by
ferret
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/warbeasts/

-------------------------------------------------

: A WARNING FROM HISTORY
The Radar chap, Sir Robert Watson-Watt

Brilliantly the inventor of RADAR was caught
speeding in his car by a radar gun and wrote
an ironic poem about it:

"Pity Sir Robert Watson-Watt,
strange target of this radar plot
And thus, with others I can mention,
the victim of his own invention.
His magical all-seeing eye
enabled cloud-bound planes to fly
but now by some ironic twist
it spots the speeding motorist
and bites, no doubt with legal wit,
the hand that once created it."

We mention this not simply as whimsy but that
it's an eternal story - you make your idea
real with the best of intentions but you
have no control of how it'll be used by
authority. A story that parallels this is this
week's complaint from influential programmer
and blogger Andy Baio, who talks "How Yahoo
Weaponized My Work."
http://bit.ly/yQavXt

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* SOME THOUGHTS ON CYBER-UTOPIANISM - Official
B3ta wife writes about Adam Curtis,
Cyber-utopianism & Education 2.0. Not
something we'd normally run but we think
there's a subset of B3tans who'll enjoy this.
You big bunch of (lovely) Cyber-utopians in
decaying fractal T-shirts and listening to The
Future Sound of London.
http://bit.ly/A8WU5w

* THE TASTE OF FEMALE MUSCLE - Kung_Fu_russ
writes, "Do male and female chickens taste
different? Fuck knows, but I can tell you that
Mussels taste different depending on their
sex. When you buy mussels, you'll notice that
some of them are clearly more orange coloured,
and much sweeter tasting. They're the female
ones. So, just to clarify, Lady-clams are
tastier than man-mussels."

* YOUR RIGHT TO PARODY RUMBLES ON - Video
artist Swede Mason (of 'Masterchef
Synaesthesia' fame) tells ORGZine why he needs
the right to parody.
http://bit.ly/xG5MRl

* PSYCHOTIC EMAIL OF THE WEEK - really don't
know what they are referring to. Dissuper
writes, "You can take your fu(&Y(*^&^ games
off any new computers. I have been playing
your stupid games for 2 weeks and have not won
once. This is bull shit. I guess you delight
in pissing people off. Well I will delete all
of your dam games and use my own, at least I
have more fun, where I can win. You can stuff
your games up your ass. You ought to be tarred
and feathered and ran out of town."

* IN DEFENCE OF QR CODES PART TWO - krang
writes, "My new bicycle has a QR code next to
the serial number. Rather than having to jot
it down, I just scanned the code with my phone
and emailed it to myself. This clever
implementation of technology saved me a total
of about four seconds."

* PISSING ON YOUR CAR REDUX - several years
ago your Ginger Fuhrer wrote a track about
peeing on a car. Googling for it finds this
epic and disturbing remix from a mysterious
person on the YouTube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIKiHaMcEow

* ON THAT BANKSY VIDEO LAST WEEK - apparently
he didn't actually write the text. The chap
who did amusingly describes himself as "a
beautiful flower angel sent from heaven to
inspire Banksy."
http://bit.ly/ywg9UB

* READERS' SHEDS: CALL FOR SHEDS - @unclewilco
writes, "Entries now open for Shed of the Year."
http://www.readersheds.co.uk

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include:

* SHOUT LIKE BRIAN BLESSED DAY - October 9th
would be a good day as that's his birthday.
Can someone organise it please?

* BANK CARD READER HACKS - we worked out that the
LloydsTSB PinSentry has a graphic resolution
of 60x14 - should be enough to play Snake.
Someone should hack it.

* SONGS WRITTEN FOR V/O FUN - write a song
about being a lonely and poor V/O artist. Send
the lyrics to one of those crowdsourced V/O sites
to be read out. Mix into a song using some pitchy
shifty stuff.
http://voicebunny.com/

* SCOTCH EGGS - delicious eggs pickled in
scotch. Yum.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

: THREE THINGS WE'VE LEARNED THIS WEEK
Learn from us, wise grey-bearded B3tans

* If TV reflected real life, East Enders would
just be couples using separate laptops and
occasionally muttering. "What did you say?"
"Nothing"

* Twitter is a conspiracy to record our stupid
comments so that if we ever gain power we can
be hung by our own words

* Flicking Vs and waving a potato peeler is a
particularly ineffectual way of getting the
neighbours cat to go away

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSOR B£TA
We're the Goldman Sachs of Internet newsletters

The best way for you to support B3ta is to
tell your friends about it. Tell them to read
the B3ta newsletter. Simple. Also you could
consider buying advertising with us.
Especially if you're sitting on a bit of
marketing budget and nobody will really miss
it if you bung a few quid our way. We wish to
export our version of economic liberalism to
rival Internet newsletters but we can't afford
the guns.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: DARTH VADER T-SHIRTS
Clever winners announced

Last week we asked you to complete the
sentence , "If I met George Lucas I'd like
to...." Your 5 bestest replies were:

* "Ask him if he can survive the winter, using
only the food he has stored in his neck pouch"
(masamoony)

* "Wobble his fucking goitre going 'graaaah'
like Chewbacca" (drbroon)

* "Blow a raspberry on his hairy belly,
glistening with sweat." (Windy Pig)

* "Take him to a strip club and convince him
to drunkenly fuck one of the strippers. Then
I'd blackmail him. With the money I'd buy a
T-shirt. And Wales." (Noctu)

* "Tell him I think Little Britain is shit and
he should go back to doing Shooting Stars." (2
Can Chunder)

If you didn't win then you can buy a Darth
Vader shirt at Truffle Shuffle.
http://bit.ly/rWMefg

-------------------------------------------------

Friends : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Haters : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by @Matt_Muir,
Matt Round, uke, @shenannegins,
nickbeddows2002, sinisterduck, @whoojemaflip,
Rosie Leland, @pieceoplastic, Dougald Lamont,
@dotmund, @codepo8 Image challenge by Fraser
Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Top Tip by
Lord Darkheart The Destroyer.

QOTW minion ScaryDuck has a book out, "Samuel
Pepys: Lust for Glory", and the Kindle edition
only costs £2.56. You should buy it:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B007K8VOWI/b3ta-21

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
Save money on McCain Baked Potatoes by buying
a potato and baking it.

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