Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:
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MARCH FUN !
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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?
Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"
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The Top Ten Lies Told By Graduate Students
10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/article/chapter.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
4. I just have to read one more book and then I'll start writing my thesis
3. The department is giving me so much support.
2. My job prospects look really good.
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.
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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Examples of "DoubleSpeak"
From the Quarterly Review of Doublespeak
A reader reports that when the patient died, the attending doctor recorded the following on the patient's chart: "Patient failed to fulfill his wellness potential."
Another doctor reports that in a recent issue of the American Journal of Family Practice fleas were called "hematophagous arthropod vectors."
The letter from the Air Force colonel in charge of safety said that rocket boosters weighing more than 300,000 pounds "have an explosive force upon surface impact that is sufficient to exceed the accepted overpressure threshhold of physiological damage for exposed personnel." In other words, if a 300,000-pound booster rocket falls on someone, he or she is not likely to survive.
A reader reports that the Army calls them "vertically deployed anti-personnel devices." You probably call them bombs.
At McClellan Air Force base in Sacramento, California, civilian mechanics were placed on "non-duty, non-pay status." That is, they were fired.
A personal ad from an unidentified mewspaper announces that a "formerly single man" seeks a single or married woman.
After taking the trip of a lifetime, our reader sent his twelve rolls of film to Kodak for developing (or "processing," as Kodak likes to call it) only to receive the following notice: "We must report that during the handling of your twelve 35mm Kodachrome slide orders, the films were involved in an unusual laboratory experience." The use of the passive is a particularly nice touch, don't you think? Nobody did anything to the films; they just had a bad experience. Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his pictures all over again, using the twelve replacement rolls Kodak so generously sent him.
The description on the package of Stouffer's Veal Tortellini with Tomato Sauce says it contains "exquisite egg pasta." The list of ingredients, however, includes "cooked noodle product."
In St. Louis there is an oriental rug store that advertizes "semi-antique" rugs.
The Minnesota Board of Education voted to consider requiring all students to do some "volunteer work" as a prerequisite to high school graduation.
Senator Orrin Hatch said that "capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."
According to the tax bill signed by President Reagan on December 22, 1987, Don Tyson and his sister-in-law Barbara run a "family farm." Their "farm" has 25,000 employees and grosses $1.7 billion a year. But as a "family farm" they get tax breaks that save them $135 million a year.
Scott L. Pickard, spokesperson for the Massachusetts Department of Public Works, calls them "ground-mounted confirmatory route markers." You probably call them road signs, but then you don't work in a government agency.
It's not "elderly" or "senior citizens" anymore. Now it's "chronologically experienced citizens."
According to the FAA, the propeller blade didn't break off, it was just a case of "uncontained blade liberation."
Submitted by Jenny J.
Rec'd from Bill Kruse:
When a Professional Bull Rider suffered three cracked vertebrae and a broken collar bone after having been bucked an enraged 1,800 pound animal, the medical authorities attributed his injuries to "aggravated bovine ejection."
No joke!
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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
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OBAMA HAS REALLY AGED DURING HIS REIGN - YEAR ONE AND 2016! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/198238.html
AWESOME BUILDING DESIGNS - INTRICATE SPIRAL STAIRCASE IN PELES CASTLE, ROMANIA - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/198406.html
STRANGE POLICE CAR PROBLEMS - SMASHED IN DUNKIN DONUTS BUILDING! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/198457.html
STRANGE FARM FUN - CRAZY SEXY JAPANESE CARROTS ON DISPLAY! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/198458.html
STRANGE POLICE ITEMS - NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING SEEKING NEIGHBORHOOD SNITCHES FOR DRUG DEALERS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/198459.html
STRANGE CANADIAN PRODUCTS - MAPLE SYRUP IN A WINE BOTTLE WITH A VINTAGE DATE/YEAR! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/198460.html
SCARY DANGEROUS SELFIES - ST BAARTS AIRPORT RUNWAY STARTS AT THE BEACH! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/198462.html
Strange Celebrity History You Never Knew - The Incredible Hedwig Kiesler - King Kong Beauty! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/198463.html
SPORTS FUN - AMAZING GYMNASTICS BALANCE BEAM SPRING UP SPLITS MOUNT - WOW! - WILD ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/198464.html
STRANGE JOBS AND TALENTS IN EUROPE - ELF SEX EXPERT? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/198465.html
STRANGE AUTO RACING DANGERS IN AUSTRALIA - KANGAROO ON THE TRACK! SCARY ACTION GIF - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/198467.html
AMAZING MILITARY JET CRASH TAKEN FROM REAR OF CARGO PLANE - CRAZY ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/198466.html
SCARY TREE HOUSE OVER THE EDGE OF A CLIFF! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/198468.html
BRILLIANT - BEST PANCAKE EATING PLATE EVER - SECTION FOR SYRUP TO COLLECT! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/198469.html
STRANGE RELIGIOUS AND GAMBLING ITEMS - ROULETTE WHEEL NUMBERS TOTAL 666! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/198470.html
STRANGE FOOD FUN - JAPANESE PANCAKE SODA! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/198471.html
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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - BABY ANIMALS! Cute - Cuddly - Tiny - Helpless - Amazing!
http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100663_1.html
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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
Strange Famous Firsts of the 2000's - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/152817.html
Strange Famous Firsts of the 1920's - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/152816.html
Strange Banana Facts - a Chemical & Mineral Goldmine - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/150539.html
Strange Facts About Your Hair and How it Grows - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/150540.html
A Strange History Lesson About Railroad Tracks - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/150542.html
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The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - BABY ANIMALS! Cute - Cuddly - Tiny - Helpless - Amazing!
http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/136_1.html
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Mittwoch, 2. März 2016
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