Vol 907 - May 30, 2010 - Strange Memorial Day Items

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

4 NEW "STRANGE WEBSITES COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

QUOTES & TOASTS of the DAY - Patriotic Toasts

"Here's to the Army and Navy, and the battles they have won. Here's to America's colors-- The colors that never run!"

"May the tree of liberty flourish round the globe, and every human being partake of its fruits."

"May noise never excite us to battle, or confusions reduce us to defeat."

"To her we drink, for her we pray, our voices
silent never.
For her we'll fight -- let come what may, The Stars
and Stripes forever."

"Soldiers have many faults, but they have one redeeming merit; they are never worshipers of force. Soldiers more than any other men are taught severely and systematically that might is not right. The fact is obvious. The might is in the hundred men who obey. The right (or what is held to be right) is in the one man who commands them." - Gilbert K. Chesterton

"The nation which forgets its defenders will be itself forgotten." - Calvin Coolidge

"An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep." - Arabian Proverb

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - EULOGY FOR A VETERAN

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the Gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the mornings hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush of
quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE MOTORCYCLE SIDE CARS - SCOOTER / TOY CAR - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/162731.html

WILD TIGER LEAPS ON ELEPHANT AFTER MAN! - GIF - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/164414.html

STRANGE BASEBALL HAPPENINGS - DANGEROUS FOUL BAT INTO THE STAND - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/164126.html

STRANGE JAPANESE MOTORCYCLES - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163220.html

WWI - FRENCH BI-PLANE (COLOR) - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/164430.html

AERIAL VIEW - USS ARIZONA MEMORIAL - PEARL HARBOR - HONOLULU, OAHU - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/164435.html

THE ORIGINAL CHARLIES ANGELS - FARRAH FAWCETT - JACLYN SMITH - KATE JACKSON - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/164438.html

NBA CHEERLEADERS - PLAYOFFS - OKLAHOMA - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/163773.html

AMAZING AERIAL VIEW OF BP OIL SPILL IN GULF OF MEXICO - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/164357.html

STRANGE GUN DANGER - PISTOL EXPLODES! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/164358.html

TAIWAN BASED EVA AIRLINES 747 JET STRETCHES RUNWAY TO THE END FOR LATE TAKEOFF! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/164361.html

AIR CRAFT CARRIER DECK CREW - OUT OF CONTROL - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/163988.html

STRANGE WAYS THAT PEOPLE DIE - CHART - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/164360.html

RICHARD NIXON AND FAMILY - SAD - RESIGNS - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/164403.html

BP OIL RIG HORIZON ON FIRE - LISTING - GULF OF MEXICO - 4-2010 - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/164362.html

MANUTE BOL - TALLEST NBA PLAYER 7 ft 7in - vs. SHORTEST - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/164376.html

WORLDS LARGEST FARM TRACTOR - BIG BUD - COMPARED TO REGULAR TRACTOR - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/164409.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SM - MILITARY - "SPECIAL" PICTURES AND PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/100050_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Military Service - Today Vs. 1945 - http://www.strangeMILITARY.com/content/item/22828.html

A Great Veterans Poem - Remember to Thank Them! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/22751.html

Awesome Letter To Mom From Soldier - MUST READ - http://www.strangeMILITARY.com/content/item/24168.html

The History of Memorial Day - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/100305.html

Shut Up, Quit Whining, Read This! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/24013.html

This Marine is Tired - Must Read! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/102881.html

War is... Famous Military Quotes - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/102498.html

Memorial Day Message - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/24416.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SM - MILITARY - "SPECIAL" PICTURES AND PRESENTATIONS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/107_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "The one you read while pretending it's the Waitrose newsletter #MiddleClassnigh

 

This Week:
* VEITCH - Makes us laugh despite ourselves
* QUIZ - On books. You love books.
* QUESTION - What professions do you hate the most?

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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web... together"

B3ta email 430 - 28 May 2010

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue430/

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Purple Dr Martin boots

As we're shit at flogging ads - the last thing
Mrs Fuhrer bought on Amazon was a pair of
purple Dr Martin boots. They look pretty mental
and are getting a Marmite reaction with her
public, plus we've taken to calling her wardrobe
"the dressing up box."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0016N1PF4/b3ta-21

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
It's like basket weaving for digital mentals

>> Diamonds in my poo <<
"I may have diamonds in my poo," claims an
amazingly glammed-up Joel Veitch, "It seems to
be quite likely." Yay - this is our favourite
thing of Joel's for ages and we put it down to
the inspirational love of his brand new shed.
http://b3ta.com/links/I_may_have_diamonds_in_my_poo

>> Judge a book by its cover <<
"Can you tell if a book is any good just by
looking at its cover?" asks enigmatic Rico
Monkeon. Judge for yourself with this quiz,
where you try to guess which of two books got
five star reviews on amazon. Below 50% you
should probably rethink a career in publishing.
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/judgeabook/

>> Mini Groove Armada <<
"We got asked to make a low budget video for
Groove Armada's 'Look Me In The Eye Sister',"
explains tedriley74. "We subsequently spent a
lot of late nights sticking mini models to some
fake grass. Hope you like."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mini_Groove_Armada

>> Picture Consequences on your computer <<
"Remember that game where you draw a head, fold
over the paper and then someone else draws the
body and folds it over and so on?" questions
ithinkanddo. "...Then you open it up and
usually have either a really cool drawing or
total crap that doesn't make any sense?" Here's
a digital version that you can play via email
or by harassing your facebook and twitter
chums to help you out.
http://www.drawandfoldover.com/

>> Free Adam Ant costume <<
"Today my friends and I sent Adam Ant some get
well postcards to his new hotel," says geetoo.
"To commemorate the occasion I made a Create
Your Own Adam Ant costume kit." You may need
adult supervision for the more elaborate bits.
http://snurl.com/duranduranmask

>> UGLY BLOKE REVEALS FACE <<
If you've caught the Bte de Jour blog, then
you'll know all about Stan CattermoleÕs blog
about his life as an ugly man. The cult read
has taken him from losing his virginity to a
disabled lady, to appearing on GMTV with a bag
on his head. Well, we've got a little secret,
we know who Stan is. We used to work with him a
couple of years back and he's just got in touch
to tell us he's planning on making a grand
reveal on Sunday and finally showing his face
to the world. He writes, "It's been a very weird
two years. I'm really glad it's all over. I'm
having a party on June 4th. In a pub. You
should come. Invite all your readers."
http://betedejour.blogspot.com

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Good Advice

No offence, but the internet is one of the last
places we'd look for advice, yet last week's
question has collected some lovely bits of
digital hand-holding for the tentative:
http://b3ta.com/questions/goodadvice/

* PUMPKINS ARE EVIL - "Once, when I was a student,
I had to take a pumpkin to a Halloween party.
On foot. 3 miles. DonÕt ask. This pumpkin was
HUGE; it was a pumpkin in need of a gastric
by-pass. To avoid back strain, I cunningly
devised straps so that I could wear like a
rucksack. Clever girl. Leaving my room, straining
against my ponderous burden, I locked my door
and dropped my keys between my feet. I speedily
bent forwards to pick them up... WHACK!
Darkness... My pumpkin counterweight had swung
forwards off my shoulders and cracked me across
the back of the head, rendering me unconscious
for 3 hours. Slapstick: it can happen to YOU."
(HaHa!Snakes!)

* BARRISTERS ARE EVIL TOO - "I wish I'd listened:
Never marry a barrister. You will never win an
argument for the rest of your married life...
When she once said, 'I refer you to the comments
you made on the 3rd of August.' in the heat of
a row, I knew that any response I could ever
give would be doomed to fail. The divorce wasn't
that fun either. On the plus side I did use to
play Zorro with her robes."
(herd of chickens)

* AND SO IS HOUSEWORK - "Fuck the housework
and take the kids on a picnic. You've never
heard anyone say, 'I had a brilliant childhood,
the bathroom was always spotless...'"
(twattybanjo)

>> This Week's Question: Hated professions <<
Which profession to you hate most? Surely you've
paid some jumped-up twerp with a qualification
far too much for far too little recently? Foam
at the mouth here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/professions/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Doctor Who sex attack <<
Blog on how the good Doctor was recently a
victim of sexual assault and what your reaction
to that says about you. You're probably a far
worse person than you thought you were.
http://snurl.com/ohnerdsyoureallyarebusyarentyou

>> Nudey CSS cleverness <<
Clever bit of coding - it's all perfectly safe
for work, until you select all of the text and
colour is applied to each letter.
http://fichtre.net/yop.html

>> Photos of dead Victorian children <<
Strange, haunting images of dead Victorian
children. Apparently it was common practice
back in those days. Of course, everybody in a
Victorian photograph is dead by now so your
mileage may vary.
http://snurl.com/challengingwankmaterial

>> Inappropriate children's books <<
An artist from Pixar has made a set of
children's book illustrations, each a film
adaptation that's highly inappropriate for
kids. Can you guess them all? We were kind of
stuck on number 4.
http://snurl.com/sortoffunnyishmaybe

>> Caitlin Moran interviews Lady Gaga <<
Journalist Caitlin Moran went and got drunk
with Lady Gaga and now they are best friends
forever and braid each others' hair. Also, she
got a very informative interview out of it.
Very, very informative.
http://snurl.com/caitlinisfromwolverhampton

>> The big caption <<
Stories from the news with a great big caption
slapped on top. This could easily be the future
of the newspaper cartoon.
http://thebigcaption.com/

>> Awesome review of Sex and the City 2 <<
We're not sure at what point this brilliantly
spiteful review jumps the rails and ploughs on
into bile-fuelled fantasy. Maybe it's all true
- in which case, we may go see SATC2, if only
to make ourselves enjoyably sick with contempt
(and popcorn).
http://snurl.com/wouldntwithyours

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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Bean-cat

"So, my flatmate's cat decided that my
boyfriend's beanbag was as good a place as any
to pee, meaning that it had to be washed,"
explains none. "So my flatmate dumped the beans
into the bathtub and went to throw it in the
wash. When he came back, Lily was sniffing
around the tub, so he put her in it, expecting
her to get scared and jump out. Instead, this
is what she did..." while defecating
uncontrollably.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySwYPoY8e7A

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like TV but with not cabinet that looks like books

>> The pianowl <<
The wondrous pianowl neither resembles an owl,
nor sounds like a piano but here are
instructions on how to make one for yourself.
http://snurl.com/birdsarefunny

>> Rap Against Rape <<
It's not all musical fun and games in the world
of Irish hip-hop; there's a serious message
too. Don't go out raping. It's wrong. Fashion
fans may like to note that this is how they did
retro back in the Nineties.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Rap_Against_Rape

>> Pixel art documentary <<
Interesting examination of the pixel art and
chip tune scene and how 3D is just a fad -
8-bit forever!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mqAZ06dwKU

>> Kung Fu Bear <<
Can this really be real? Our first thought was
surely it's a bloke in a suit. Second thought -
bears can't actually be shit and clumsy at
everything or they'd die in the wild. Anyway,
prepare to disbelieve your eyes.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Bear_FU

>> Batshit-crazy I Will Always Love You <<
Slow start, but this Whitney Houston lip-sync
act at a Filipino talent competition rapidly
turns into something very, very different and
quite scary.
http://snurl.com/omgmentals

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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Suicide would be preferable

* Daffydil writes, "for the oh-so-hilarious
names corner - Can I offer you a jizzachino,
sir?"
http://www.bj-coffee.ch/

* BUGGER GRIPS - recently a friend mentioned
they were launching a product - 'grips for
laptops' and we suggested renaming them bugger
grips and selling them for the iPad. The silly
fool only went and listened to us:
http://www.buggergrips.co.uk/

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Olympic Mascot Challenge

Last week we wanted you to mock Wenlock &
Mandeville, London's foolish Olympic mascots

Your favourites included:

* EYES - the planning committee didn't
have to look far for the perfect pair
of one-eyed goons (finbar)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10057931

* CCTV - cutting urban satire wrapped up
in a black cloak of irony (HappyToast)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10055586

* FLAME - possibly the greatest debut
post in the history of great debut posts
(eatcrayons)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10063263

All these images, and the highest as
voted by you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/olympicmascots/

>> New challenge: Animated Albums <<
We found a load of animated versions of
classic album covers on the internet, but
we reckon you can do better. So fire up
Photoshop, select a sleeve, and animate.
Animate HARD.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/animatedalbums/

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* MAKE VIZ TOP TIPS REAL - Itsallaboutcake
asks, "Can b3ta make this? @VizTopTips: WALL'S.
Expand your pork & ice cream empire with a
range of meaty 'Breakfast Viennettas'."

* NEW SHIT IPHONE APPS - RedPixelle ask, "How
about a LOLCrap app that adds a random shit
caption to every photo?"

* 100-MINUTE EDIT OF LOST - Andeh pleads, "can
someone edit together the most important 100
minutes of the whole 6 series into a feature
length film that still makes sense?"

* TYPING MAN-HOURS LOST - starsnip asks, "Was
just wondering, due to having to type in www
and . all the time. Anyone got any idea how
many times the www or the . is typed in
throughout the world in any given day?"

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Damocles, Manic,
Hellzapoppin, imsosorry, Labia Majora Jolly
Rogered, BadBadman, ccc. Top Tippery by
sandettie light vessel automatic. Additional
linkage and image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Sickilols via
vilification. Subjlols via Griffy Savalas.

-------------------------------------------------

: UNTESTED TOP TIPS THAT SOUND DANGEROUS:

Do you have really hard cracked skin on your
heels? Use an electric sander on your feet. Use
a medium grain sandpaper. It gets a bit warm
and creates a lot of very fine white dust, but
works perfectly.

-------------------------------------------------

From the 70s sexism corner that is sickipedia,
"Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a
command."
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 906 - May 26, 2010 - Strange Buzzwords for Managers

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange "Business" Quotes:

Drive thy business or it will drive thee. - Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. - David Letterman (1947 - )

'Whom are you?' he asked, for he had attended business college. - George Ade (1866 - 1944), "The Steel Box", 1898

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me. - John Cleese (1939 - )

A dinner lubricates business. - Lord William Stowell

To succeed as a team is to hold all of the members accountable for their expertise. - Mitchell Caplan, CEO, E*Trade Group Inc.

I ran the wrong kind of business, but I did it with integrity. - Sydney Biddle Barrows, in Marian Christy, ''Mayflower Madam' Tells All,' Boston Globe, 1986

No one traveling on a business trip would be missed if he failed to arrive. - Thorstein Veblen (1857 - 1929)

In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield. - Warren Buffett (1930 - )

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Buzzwords for Managers

COLUMN I COLUMN II COLUMN III
------------------- --------------------- --------------------
0. integrated 0.management 0. options
1. heuristic 1. organizational 1. flexibility
2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability
3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility
4. functional 4. digital 4. programming
5. responsive 5. logistical 5. scenarios
6. optional 6. transitional 6. time-phase
7. synchronized 7. incremental 7. projection
8. compatible 8. third-generation 8. hardware
9. futuristic 9. policy 9. contingency

The procedure is simple. Think of any three-digit number, and then select the corresponding buzzword from each column.

For instance, number 257 produces "systematized logistical projection," a phrase that can be dropped into virtually any report with a sincere
ring of decisive, knowledgeable authority. No one will have the remotest idea of what you're talking about, but the important thing is that THEY ARE NOT ABOUT TO ADMIT IT!

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

1914 EXCELSIOR RACING MOTORCYCLE - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163721.html

NEW YORK POLICE DEPT. COMMENDATION / CITATION BARS - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/164150.html

US NAVY AIR CRAFT CARRIER PASSING GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE HEADING INTO SAN FRANCISCO HARBOR - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/164161.html

STRANGE BASEBALL HAPPENINGS - BALL HITS PITCHER IN THE STOMACH! OUCH! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/164124.html

SNOW BLOWER TRAIN RESCUES SNOWBOUND TRAIN - 11 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/164191.html

STRANGE OLDE CONSTRUCTION VEHICLES - 1928 OSHKOSH MODEL H 4X4 DUMP TRUCK - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163739.html

PREDATOR DRONE - MQ-1 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/163985.html

STRANGE ULTRA MODERN FOLDING WHEEL BICYCLE - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/164246.html

STRANGE DOGGY CAKES! - PAPA - COCKAPOO - NEXT TO THE REAL THING ! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/164254.html

STRANGE DOGGY CAKES! - CHIHUAHUA - YIPES STRIPES - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/164258.html

STRANGE SPORTS CELEBRATIONS - COACH'S GETTING WET! - GATORADE TIME! RUN - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/164270.html

STRANGE MOTORCYCLE SIDE CARS - LIMO STYLE - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/162730.html

THE HOTTEST OVER 50 COUGARS IN HOLLYWOOD - CHERYL TIEGS - 63 - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/164336.html

STRANGE POLICE NEIGHBORHOOD SCOOTER - LOOK LIKE SOAP BOX DERBY CAR! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/164351.html

MIRACLE HEALING? MAN ON CRUTCHES CURED BY AUTO HEADING AT HIM - STRANGE GIF - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/164349.html

STRANGE OLDE DEEP SEA DIVER AND STEAM EQUIPMENT - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/164350.html

STRANGE OIL FIRE TWISTER - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/164352.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - DANGEROUS ACCIDENTS - ALL KINDS - NASTY!

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100030_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Bicycle Facts - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/164353.html

Strange Gibralter Fact - Named After a Slave! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/164354.html

Strange Beer Facts - Where Did Budweiser Come From? - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/164355.html

50 Strange Micheal Jackson Facts - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/164097.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SS - DANGEROUS ACCIDENTS - ALL KINDS - NASTY!

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/107_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

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Vol 905 - May 23, 2010 - Important Words to Live By

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange Quotes:

"I am honored today to begin my first term as the Governor of Baltimore-that is Maryland." --William Donald Schaefer, first inaugural address

"This is a great day for France!" --Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral

"Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!" --Jerry Coleman, Padres radio announcer

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Important Words to Live By

As I let go of my shoulds and feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.

My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.

I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.

I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.

Joan of Arc heard voices too.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE LITTLE ITALIAN SUBMARINE - U212a - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/163930.html

WORLD'S TALLEST SKYSCRAPERS AND HOW THEY MATCH UP! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/164098.html

STRANGE TRANSLUCENT SEA CREATURES - SHRIMP - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/163816.html

COOLEST HALLOWEEN PUMPKIN - WINNER! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/164016.html

STRANGE BASEBALL HAPPENINGS - HOME PLATE HEAD STAND - HE'S OUT - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/164123.html

RARE FENNEC FOX WITH 3 BABY CUBS - ENGLAND - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/163891.html

STRANGE NASA RESEARCH AIRCRAFT - PROTEUS - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163980.html

LOCATION - LOCATION - LOCATION - CANADIAN HAPPINESS - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/164040.html

STRANGE BASEBALL HAPPENINGS - HOME PLATE DIVE OVER THE CATCHER - SAFE! - GIF - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/164129.html

STRANGE MOTORCYCLE SIDE CARS - OLDE 3 WHEELER - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/162723.html

STRANGE DOUBLE RAINBOW - HORSES IN THE FIELD - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/163707.html

AMAZING CLASSIC AND NEW CAR COLLECTION/SHOW - PPS PRESENTATION - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163987.html

STRANGE BLONDES - STRANGE LIPS - 1 - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/164046.html

THE ROLLING STONES - RARE PIXS - AT THE CASTLE! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/164082.html

STRANGE BASKETBALL HAPPENINGS - THE SHORT AND THE TALL IN THE NBA - HAWKS AND BULLETS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/164138.html

STRANGE GOODYEAR INFLATE-O-PLANE - DIDN'T MAKE IT - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/164009.html

STRANGE EURO TYPHOON MILITARY JET PHOTO SHOOT - C-130 - CARGO DOOR - HOW CLOSE DO YOU WANT ME? - 2 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/164094.html

NAVAL SHIP ENTERS NEW YORK HARBOR PASSING STATUE OF LIBERTY - DRESS WHITES - AT ATTENTION - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/162907.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SF - D - FARM ANIMALS - PIGS - HOGS - SHEEP - GOATS - LAMBS

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/100755_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Timing - Traffic Lights In Use BEFORE Autos! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/164011.html

Strange Animals: Bird that Barks Instead of Sings - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/164012.html

Strange Nostradamus Predictions - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/164013.html

Strange Animals: Sharks are Immune to ALL Known Diseases - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/164014.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SF - B - FARM ANIMALS - COWS - DAIRY - CALF'S - BOVINES

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/100753_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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[b3ta] "This week containing an ASCII pic of Mohammed"

 

This Week:
* ANIM - The Horn of Bunty
* ABC - For geeks
* MUSIC - Toy trumpet virtuoso

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're annoyed the Tories
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | aren't going to repeal
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| DEAct... together"

B3ta email 429 - 21 May 2010

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue429/

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsub: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
The Cure - Disintegration

Seeing as we haven't flogged an ad, then
tradition dictates we link to the last item we
bought on Amazon. Rather excited by this 3-disc
reissue of one of the best albums of the 80s.
Yeah we could probably just grab a torrent but
we fancy the nice shiny disc. Also worth
checking out is the preview site with extra
demos and Roger O'Donnell's extensive notes on
the recording of the album available on his
site. /Sad old goth blog over.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00318EDD8/b3ta-21

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Simon Says, Robots, Blackboard and ABCs

>> The Horn of Bunty <<
"Just a bit of fun with Doctor Simon CUHNT!"
explodes noznikrap. Inventive, musical, NSFW -
play along!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Horn_of_Bunty

>> Sexy Robots <<
Weeble writes, "It is the future and all music
is made by robots. Sexy robots." This is 100%
HOTTTT robot-on-robot interface procedure.
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/Sexy+Robots/

>> Bart's Blackboard <<
"Here is a little project I've done," glees MC.
"Every line Bart Simpson ever put on the
Springfield blackboard, written on the walls of
our office." We were amused to note that two
actors play Bart in this. A skinny guy who's
better at skating and a fat bloke who's
better at writing!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Barts_Blackboard

>> Geek ABC <<
"Hey guys!" greets geekpub. "We recently
published the ABC of geekdom, illustrating each
letter with Creative Commons pictures. When you
read them all together, they make a really
geeky poem!" This is the very best kind of
poetry - ie. it rhymes.
http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2010/05/13/the-geek-alphabet/

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Expensive Weekends

Spending a lot of money can be great if you
want to do it. Not so great when it is forced
upon you just to get home. Laugh at debt here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/expensiveweekends/

* MOUSED - "The Wynn Hotel, Las Vegas, NV - one
of the finest places on this earth. They have a
new club there called 'XS', which is built
around a huge, shallow swimming pool, which
without fail, 100s of scantily clad American
bimbo wannabes throw themselves into every
night. The trick is to hire a cabana by the
water's edge, so the dripping wet girls have a
place to enter and exit the pool; they really
appreciate the free towels and drinks that
cabana owners can supply them with. My mate and
I hired a cabana and put down a $1000 min
drinks tab with my Amex card. What a night. We
were outnumbered 8-1 by desperate, stunning,
nubile girls. They LOVED our cabana, they
ordered vodka by the bottle and champagne by
the magnum. My friend and I sat there
resplendent, the stars of our very own hip-hop
video, fully satisfied at such a wonderful,
short-lived fantasy. But all good things must
come to an end. And end they did, with the
addition of a $2,400 drinks bill. The waitress
brought my card on a silver tray and asked me
to sign, I drunkenly pointed to my far drunker
mate, who grabbed the receipt and duly signed
it. I was too pissed to care. Plus one of the
girls had accepted my invitation to come use
one of the luxuriant Wynnn bathrobes that I had
in my room... The next day, we struggled to
remember our total bill. A brief search of my
mate's wallet found the copy receipt and the
enormity of our overspend hit home. But closer
inspection of it revealed a get out clause. I
immediately called Amex and complained that I'd
misplaced my card between 1am and 6am,
somewhere in the greater Las Vegas area. Back
home I was sent a pack by Amex. It contained a
list of all my expenditure during that time,
plus photocopies of my signed receipts. And
there it was. The biggie. A receipt for
$2,400.00 spent at XS Club, Wynn Hotel. Agreed
and signed by a 'Mr M. Mouse Esq.' They
re-credited every cent onto my next statement."
(Albert Marshmallow)

* TROUSERED - "I used to live in Brighton and
there were a few hills in the area that people
used to paraglide from. It looked great,
soaring around like a bird high above the
clouds. So I went down to the paragliding shop
and took their beginner deal: for £2k you got
lessons until you passed and your 'wing' all
included in the price. You only got your wing
once you'd passed your test and got your
certificate. I learnt as much as I could about
it but every weekend it was pissing down with
rain. It was a few months till it was finally
the perfect day, not too windy, not too wet. I
was shown how to strap myself in and I stood on
the edge of the hill. The old instructor dude
was holding on to my trousers and saying 'I
daren't let you go until you've had a bit more
experience.' Then it started raining. The next
day the company went bust. So two grand to
stand on a hill with an old dude holding my
trousers..." (browser)

* PARKED - "Friend of my wife's used to get all
sorts of stick from her boyfriend about her
parking ability. Back in January 2008 while out
shopping she'd managed to reverse into a pillar
in a carpark, bashing out the rear lights on
one side of her car. Approximate cost: £150.
Her boyfriend gave her the usual exasperated
lecture about how she should be more careful
and that spending £150 to repair this kind of
damage was a waste of money, especially so soon
after Christmas. A few days later he was part
of the flight crew that stacked a 150-tonne
Boeing 777 into the tarmac at Heathrow.
Approximate cost: £150,000,000. He's no longer
allowed to criticise her parking." (e_logic)

>> This Week's Question: Best advice <<
We'd like the best advice you've been given.
Beckon us over to your deathbed and whisper
to us here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/goodadvice/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Extreme body mods bloke <<
Interview with a young man about his
modifications. Contains cock and balls and
whatnot. Although loads of people say they
don't regret their tattoos, we wonder if you
can find ANYONE who says, "I wish I'd got more
tattoos when I was younger. They'd be looking
really shit by now. Wicked."
http://snurl.com/twatsyeah

>> Banana facts <<
Hey you! Yes you! Put down that banana and look
at it - did you know it's a sterile hybrid that
can't reproduce? It's the mule of the fruit
kingdom and what's more, every single one is a
clone - just like those nice Aryan Hitler
children in The Boys from Brazil.
http://snurl.com/bananafuck

>> All your botnet are belong to us <<
Long, long read here - all about a rather
frightening internet worm called Conficker
which has infected millions of computers and
nobody knows what it's for. If we were a
terrorist state we'd probably try to buy it
and use it to bring down half the internet.
What we're saying - it's interesting to
speculate what this might be all about.
http://snurl.com/biglongread

>> The new digital sweatshops <<
Crowdsourced web 2.0 stuff means there's
millions of people out there willing to work
for pennies. These people will be your online
bitches for $5 a go. Our favourite one is the
guy who lives on a beach and will take a photo
of your message drawn in sand. fiverr - things
people will do for a fiver.
http://www.fiverr.com/

>> Dr Wakefield/MMR scare explained ... <<
Paging Dr Ben Goldacre, Paging Dr Ben Goldacre,
here's a comic book version of the MMR story
for those too lazy to read Bad Science. Frankly
Ben's publisher should do a deal here and do
comic versions of Goldacre's work for the kids'
market - it would sell like cocaine at a
Bullingdon club party.
http://tallguywrites.livejournal.com/148012.html

>> Shit my kids ruined <<
Hey 30-something childless readers. You know
that cool flat you've finally made look
perfect? Once you have kids, all this is
FUCKED. Trust us; we're already there. We've
lost one old VCR to toast insertion, three DVD
players and we've aged about 15 years in the
last five. Woo hoo!
http://shitmykidsruined.com/

>> Abandoned Russian wooden house <<
Perez Hilton has just flogged his web bollocks
for $20m, and if a rich fool made us a similar
offer for B3ta then we're living here:
http://snurl.com/ournewhouseyeah

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like TV but with a big sideways Qwerty remote

>> Bestest birthday ever <<
If you don't have a big smile after watching
this then there's something wrong with you.
(Actually, we only smile at others' misfortune.)
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Bestest_birthday_ever

>> The Empire Strikes Back (1950) <<
Another nice little 'premake'. You have to
admire the production effort that's gone
into this.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Empire_Strikes_back_1950

>> Important First Aid video <<
Want to know how to do CPR? Well, these cheesy
Lynx deodorant ad-style lezzers will get your
pulse racing again. Quite how advertising has
got so sexist again is one for the polyversity
types.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Important_first_aid_video

>> Toy trumpet virtuoso <<
Blokey plays old rave tune on a toy trumpet
whilst his stoner mates gasp and giggle.
You'll be wanting to practise this too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDhAdMkn9uo

-------------------------------------------------

: PLUG FOR FAMOUS MAGAZINE BLOKE

James Brown - founder of genre-defining mens'
mag Loaded) writes -

"There are few good paper magazines around any
more so I thought I'd create something that was
a bit like Jack online, that we could update
from anywhere. Spent years surfing so I thought
I'd try and turn it into something productive
all in one place. Our motto? We can't
concentrate, so why should you? Could we have a
link on B3TA newsletter tomorrow? Would make a
big difference in our early days." Oh go on then!
http://snurl.com/saboyeah

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Fake Science Challenge

Last week we wanted you to tell us the untruth
about science

Your favourites included:

* EVERYTHING - the universe explained via the
medium of moon, penguin, bacon and Popemobile
(spinoza)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10045778

* EARTHQUAKE - sometimes the science is much
simpler than you think (Mu)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10045667

* POLAR - the most convincing explanation
of global warming we've yet seen. Deny
and die (Monkeon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10050286

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/fakescience/

>> New challenge: Wenlock & Mandeville <<
"Wenlock and Mandeville will help inspire kids
to strive to be the best they can be." That's
what officials are saying about London's
Olympic mascots. We're saying Photoshop them.
Mercilessly.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/olympicmascots/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* B3TAN ACTUALLY READS AN AD WE RUN - Fluffy
elephants writes, "Some of my friends entered
that Sty TV competition. I can't link to their
actual entry but you can watch it by clicking
on the link and then going on 'Chantelle and
Stacey's Showreel'. If you feel like being nice
you can check it out and vote for them. Or just
watch their Lady GaGa & Beyonce - Telephone
Parody. Oh, also mildly NSFW due to swears and
girls in their underwear."
http://www.stytv.co.uk/vote.php

* PENIS MEDUSA - "Been done a few times
already" points out notorious spoilsport
Captain Freedom.
http://www.pileup.com/babyart/blog/?p=412

* WE READ EVERYTHING YOU SEND US BUT SOMETIMES
A BIT LATE - "Hi B3ta," writes Bela Lugosi's
Dad, a few weeks ago, "I've been doing this blog
showcasing unfortunate political (or sporting)
photo-ops for a while, and just today have
decided to name the phenomena 'billboardbombs'
in a vain attempt to secure a place in history.
Could you possibly pimp it in the newsletter
this Friday, the last before polling day?"
http://conferencepear.blogspot.com/

* B3TA IN THE PAPERS - people pull their hair
out trying to think of amazing creative ideas
but the truth is timing is everything. By a
happy stroke of luck the Olympics timed the
announcement of their new mascots for
approximately the time we announce our new
challenge - about 7:00pm on Weds. We knew
whatever they picked it would be a source of
mockery, so we made our challenge "photoshop
the mascots." By the next day we were in at
least three major UK papers. Well done B3tans!
http://snurl.com/thestandardb3ta
http://snurl.com/telegraphb3ta
http://snurl.com/dailymailb3ta

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
Electric Box

We've lost our life to shitty iPhone games and
our current obsession is Electric Box - a
visually lacklustre take on the early 90s
classic The Impossible Machine. We're up to
about level 28 and we keep going for extra
shits as an excuse to play more. Linky goes to
flash version.
http://www.kongregate.com/games/TwinkleStarGames/electric-box

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* THE ARTIFICIAL CREATION OF LIFE - oh
bollocks, J. Craig Venture has got there first.
Maybe B3tans can raise the dead?

* HETROSEXUAL PEOPLE COMING OUT - Agent Muu
suggests, "let's test the testicular fortitude
of the newsletter's readers: b3tards set up a
hidden camera and record themselves sitting
their parents down and telling them they're
gay. Obviously this will be funnier if most of
the videos are done by straight people. Just
think of the wide range of reactions, and the
portrait it would paint of the state of
tolerance in today's world (or lack thereof).
It'll be exactly like Borat, except replacing
Borat with being gay."

* A GUIDE TO BUMMING - written by a cat.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Evil Lu, Pew Pew
Pew! Lasers! Herb Alpert's Taxi driver,
FishNChimps, @trullock, jakedamusss, Abe
Baginsky, Bliss/Full, iowaseven.
Additional linkage and image challenge by
Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Sickijoke nicked from wonderbrawl. This new "in
private" browsing mode in Internet Explorer is
rubbish. Everyone in the internet cafe can
still see me wanking.


-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
Don't bother reading The Times, The Sun or The
Daily Mail.

-------------------------------------------------

This issue is dedicated to Jessie.
http://b3ta.com/board/10050833

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Vol 904 - May 19, 2010 - Strange Letters of Recommendation Phrases

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

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Strange "My Philosophy on Success" Quotes

I don't meet competition. I crush it. - Charles Revson

I'm not the type to get ulcers. I give them. - Ed Koch

I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an actor - Jack Nicholson, 1993

I always figured the American public wanted a solemn ass for president, so I went along with them. -Calvin Coolidge

I don't read books, I write them. - Henry Kissinger

I'm not the type to get ulcers. I give them. - Ed Koch

If people screw me, I screw back in spades. - Donald Trump

You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact. And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth. -John Lennon

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Letters of Recommendation Phrases

Letters Of Recommendation Phrases

Have to write a letter of recommendation for that fired employee? - Here are a few suggested phrases:

For the chronically absent:
"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed her career was just taking off."

For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."
"Every hour with him was a happy hour."

For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."

For a stupid employee:
"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."
"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."

For a dishonest employee:
"Her true ability was deceiving."
"He's an unbelievable worker."

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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TODAY'S MISS USA SCANDAL - WON STRIPPER POLE CONTEST IN 2007 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163993.html

CHARLIE CHAPLIN & DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS SELLING LIBERTY LOANS - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163800.html

STRANGE TRANSLUCENT SEA CREATURES - FISH - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/163815.html

STRANGE HUGE MOTORCYCLE WITH TRAINING WHEELS - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/162722.html

THE HELICRON - FRENCH PROPELLER DRIVEN CAR - 1932 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163513.html

US AIR FORCE 'MATS' CONSTELLATION - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/162901.html

P-3C ORION SEEN FROM THE RIGHT OVER SNOW COVERED MOUNT FUJI IN JAPAN - http://www.strangecollege.com/content/item/163983.html

EARLY PHOTOS OF THE BEATLES - RARE - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/163998.html

AIR TRAVEL 101 - SOUTH AFRICAN AIRLINES NEW "TRAVEL" CLASSES - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/163999.html

COOL RIVER HIGHWAY FOR RICE HARVEST - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/164000.html

RUSSIAN POLICE - A PPS PRESENTATION - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/163986.html

DONALD SUTHERLAND AS "ODDBALL" KELLY'S HERO'S - "ARF ARF!" - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/163926.html

STRANGE BRITISH ARMY VEHICLE - THE JACKAL - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163928.html

STRANGE BEFORE & AFTER BILLBOARD - HAIR REMOVAL - BOY ARE THEY GOOD! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163994.html

B-2 SPIRIT - SUNSET AERIAL REFUEL - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/163979.html

TRIMARAN SAILBOAT PROBLEM - FLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/163995.html

TRIATHELON WINNERS VIE AT THE FINISH LINE - YELL, SCREAM AND FALL THRU TAPE - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/163996.html

MEXICAN SWAT TEAM YANKS DOWN DRUG DEALER METAL GATE - ON TOP OF OFFICER! - GIF - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/163997.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - RAILROAD TRAINS - LOCOMOTIVES - TRACKS - ACCIDENTS - ENGINEERS

http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/100637_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange One-in-a-Million Friendship - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/164001.html

Strange One in a Million Events: Two Submarines Collide Mid Ocean - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/164002.html

Strange One in a Million Events: Two Satellites Collide in Space - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/164003.html

Strange One in a Million Events: Man Struck by Lightning 7 Times - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/164004.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SV - RAILROAD TRAINS - LOCOMOTIVES - TRACKS - ACCIDENTS - ENGINEERS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/116_1.html

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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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