Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 901 - May 09, 2010 - 15 Things My Mother Taught Me!

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Strange "Mothers Day" Quotes:

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

Parents are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth. - Peter Ustinov

For a woman, a son offers the best chance to know the mysterious male existence. - Carole Klein

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. - Rita Rudner

Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life. - Sophocles

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of priests. - Spanish Proverb

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - 15 Things My Mother Taught Me!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -- I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

11. My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times -- don't exaggerate!!!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 9. Mai 2010

Vol 901 - May 09, 2010 - 15 Things My Mother Taught Me! - HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

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