Vol 811 - June 28, 2009 - Strange Questions That Will Always Remain Unanswered

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

OVER 10,000 GREAT OLDE PICTURES AND IMAGES DATING BACK TO
THE FIRST PICTURES EVER TAKEN - HISTORY - WILD WEST - WORLD WARS
OLDE SPORTS - HEROES & VILLAINS - AUTOS & SHIPS - RAILROADS - A-BOMBS
WEAPONS - OLDE MEDICAL EQUIPMENT - OLDE ADVERTISING - OLDE MOVIE STARS
SILENT PICTURES - STARLETS - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - TRAVEL

------------------------

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==================================

Strange Quotes:

"Hi I'm Dean White, Dick, of the college." - Richard (Dick) White, Duke University academic Dean introducing himself at a faculty dinner.

"Danger Slow Men At Work" - Road sign in Brunei

"Permitted vehicles not allowed." - Road sign on US 27

"There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964." - Roger Daltrey, Singer/Actor

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces." - Ron Atkinson

"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." - Ron Atkinson

"Bruce Sutter has been around for awhile and he's pretty old. He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is." - Ron Fairley, Giants broadcaster

"The French are not normally a Nordic Skiing Nation." - Ron Pickering

"Watch the time -it gives you an indication of how fast they are running." - Ron Pickering

"He's passe. Nobody cares about Mickey anymore. There are whole batches of Mickeys we just can't give away. I think we should phase him out." - Roy Disney, Walt Disney's brother, 1937

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Questions That Will Always Remain Unanswered.

1. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

4. Is there another word for synonym?

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"

6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

16. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

==================================

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STRANGE JAPANESE CUSTOM VANS - CRAZY SOUND SYSTEM - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/150780.html

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STRANGE VIOLIN PLAYER AND STRANGE MUSIC CRITIC! - PICTURE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152724.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - Strange Products - Gimmicks - Items - Inventions

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/100475_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Personality Test - What Cartoon Character are You? - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/21707.html

The "Doo-Wop" Oldies Quiz - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/127112.html

Olde 'Burma Shave' Roadway Signs! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/128798.html

Strange Uses For 'Bounce" Dryer Sheets - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/108809.html

- Playing Wyth Wurds - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/25221.html

-Top 50 OXYMORON'S - http://www.strangeFUNKIDZ.com/content/item/24844.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - FARRAH FAWCETT

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/category/100117_1.html

==================================

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Vol 810 - June 24, 2009 - Strange Classic Southern Expressions

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

OVER 10,000 GREAT OLDE PICTURES AND IMAGES DATING BACK TO
THE FIRST PICTURES EVER TAKEN - HISTORY - WILD WEST - WORLD WARS
OLDE SPORTS - HEROES & VILLAINS - AUTOS & SHIPS - RAILROADS - A-BOMBS
WEAPONS - OLDE MEDICAL EQUIPMENT - OLDE ADVERTISING - OLDE MOVIE STARS
SILENT PICTURES - STARLETS - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - TRAVEL

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Strange Quotes From Professional Athletes:

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above is locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Southern Expressions

Southern Expressions

Exclamations:
"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

Threats:
"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle."
"This'll jar your preserves."
"Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!"

Good Things/Compliments:
"Cute as a sack full of puppies."
"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."
"Gooder than grits."

The Weather:
"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."

Descriptions:
A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."
When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."
If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
"He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."
A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a
marble floor."

Insults:
"She's uglier than homemade soap."
"Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.'"
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead"
Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart."
Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE PRESIDENTIAL LIMOUSINES - RUSSIAN VOLGA LIMO - GEORGE W BUSH & VLADIMIR PUTIN - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152117.html

STRANGE DANGEROUS SPORTS - SKYDIVING! - BASE JUMPING OFF A CLIFF! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/151376.html

STRANGE OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - KING & QUEEN ILLUSION - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/150404.html

STRANGE BRIDGES, WALKWAYS & HIGHWAYS AROUND THE WORLD - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/151301.html

1911 WORLD SERIES SCORE CARD - NEW YORK GIANTS vs PHILADELPHIA ATHLETICS - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/152236.html

LATOYA JACKSON LOOKING MORE AND MORE LIKE MICHAEL! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/152351.html

AMAZING GOLDEN THAILAND DANCERS - BEAUTIFUL! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/152365.html

RED BULL MOTORCYCLE 'X FIGHTERS' GO FLYING! GET OFF MY BACK! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/152385.html

AFGHANISTAN WAR - COALITION TROOPS - 2009 - ARTILLERY FIRING - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152441.html

STRANGE OBAMA DOUBLE FROM MEXICO - SEPARATED AT BIRTH? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152484.html

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STRANGE BRIDES & GROOMS - GOOFY WEDDINGS - COUNTRY - NICE CAMOUFLAGE WEDDING DRESS THEME - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/152546.html

GENEVA AUTO SHOW - 2009 - COOL MERCEDES BENZ SLR SPORTSCAR - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/152566.html

AMAZING US MILITARY AIRCRAFT PPS PRESENTATION - I'M ALIVE! - PPS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152592.html

ITALIAN POLICE PICK UP THEIR NEW PATROL CAR - LAMBORGHINI! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/152632.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - LIZARDS - CHAMELEONS - CRAWLING LONG TAILS ANIMALS

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/101099_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange and Stupid Criminals - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/152278.html

Avoiding Speeding Tickets is Easy - Don't be Strange! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/152635.html

10 Strange Unsolved Mysteries - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/152638.html

Strange Baby Names - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144162.html

The 20 Strangest Flavors of Japanese Ice Cream - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/142150.html

20 Strange Facts You Didn't Know About Pigeons - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/141634.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - LIZARDS - CHAMELEONS - CRAWLING LONG TAILS ANIMALS

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/115_1.html

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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

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-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

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Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

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Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

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Vol 809 - June 21, 2009 - Strange Fascinating Facts

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

OVER 10,000 GREAT OLDE PICTURES AND IMAGES DATING BACK TO
THE FIRST PICTURES EVER TAKEN - HISTORY - WILD WEST - WORLD WARS
OLDE SPORTS - HEROES & VILLAINS - AUTOS & SHIPS - RAILROADS - A-BOMBS
WEAPONS - OLDE MEDICAL EQUIPMENT - OLDE ADVERTISING - OLDE MOVIE STARS
SILENT PICTURES - STARLETS - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - TRAVEL

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

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==================================

Strange "Golf" Quotes

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~ H G Wells

I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Fascinating Facts

Fascinating Facts: Trivial Pursuit

Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.

Q. Only 14% of Americans say they've done this with the opposite sex.
What is it?
A. Skinny dipping.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace. This is propinquity.

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession

Q. More women do this in the bathroom than men.
A. Wash their hands. Women: 80%, men: 55%.

Q. What do 100% of all lottery winners do?
A. Gain weight.

Q. In a recent survey, Americans revealed that this was their favorite smell.
A. Banana.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand.

Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windscreen wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. Married men revealed that they do this twice as often as single men.
A. Change their underwear.

Q. This stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.
A. A kiss.

Q. This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
A. Honey.

Q. 40% of all people who come to a party in your home do this?
A. Have a look in your medicine cabinet.

Q. 3.9% of all women surveyed say they never do this.
A. Wear underwear.

Q. What common everyday occurrence is composed of 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, and 9% carbon dioxide?
A. A fart.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - HYPNOTIC - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/150403.html

STRANGE ROMANIAN PEASANT GRAVE MARKERS, CROSSES AND TOMBSTONES - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/151242.html

SURFING DANGERS! - HUGE WAVES - BIG THRILLS - BIG WIPEOUTS! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/151874.html

STRANGE LITTLE CRITTER - WOW! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/151558.html

COOL REVERSE BIKINI TOP ROADSTER! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/151739.html

THE FABULOUS 50'S - FROM FLATHEADS TO FINS! - 1954 KAISER - HEALEY - CONVERTIBLE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152204.html

1942 WORLD SERIES POSTER - BUT WAR BONDS! GAME 5 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152235.html

DANGEROUS SPORTS - MOTORCYCLE RACING! - SPARKS FLY OFF KNEE GUARD! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/152246.html

FERRARI F430 SCUDERIA - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/152297.html

"SENIOR" BIKER'S BAR - CAUTION - DANGEROUS? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/152319.html

WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS ROADS - STELVIO PASS ROAD TROLLSTEIGEN - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/152321.html

STRANGE CROWDED BEACH IN S. KOREA - 7 - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/152324.html

COOL SEQUOIA TREE - WALK THRU TRUNK TRAILWAY! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/152331.html

KATE GOSSELIN GETS A WINNIE THE POOH TATTOO! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/152350.html

STRANGE WIND SURFERS AVOIDING FLOATING GREEN KELP - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/152368.html

COOL ANTI-POLLUTION SIGN - WATER SLIDE - A CLEAN RIVER IS A FUN RIVER! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/152214.html

1950 CHEVROLET CLUB COUPE - 437 ORIGINAL ACTUAL MILES! - FRONT QUARTER VIEW - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152419.html

STRANGE BIRDS, FOWL AND FEATHERS! - MOMMA WOODPECKER FEEDING BABY - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/151939.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - LIZARDS - CHAMELEONS - CRAWLING LONG TAILS ANIMALS

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/101099_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Speeding Tickets - Which State is the Most Expensive? - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152098.html

Strange Use of Cats in Wars Throughout History - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152275.html

Strange Facts About Hair and Nails - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/147892.html

Strange Corporate Names After Corporate Mergers - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/144411.html

20 Strange Alternative Uses for Vodka! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/143134.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - LIZARDS - CHAMELEONS - CRAWLING LONG TAILS ANIMALS

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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[b3ta] "Wind turbines. We're big fans"

This Week:
* SONG - I Sucked Off a Bloke
* TATS - World's worst body art
* DOGS - Lilly Allen vs Littlest Hobo

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frustration by lobbing a few virtual tomatoes!
http://www.peoplesrevenge.co.uk/

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Blow-jobs, World-saving, Kids & Asking the Web

>> "I sucked off a bloke" <<
Kunt & the Gang revisit Kate Perry's
poptabulous hit of last year. Lots of sexy
builders. Kunt is a fucking star. He's also at
Edinburgh this year. "I'm trying to raise
awareness," he says, "Not in a cancer way."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHk4t_hzqb4

>> Rob saves the planet <<
"A charity asked me to make a video about green
issues," explains ginger fuhrer Rob. "Hope you
like it as I've made myself look like an utter
prick making it." It's not long in before the
blood and piss and anger start flying about.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/me_looking_like_an_arsehole

>> The Bathroom song <<
The point isn't so much the song itself as the
second half of the vid, where Joel vividly
illustrates the pitfalls of employing children
as extras in your music videos.
http://rathergood.com/bathroom

>> What does the internet think? <<
c_kick has been wondering what the internet
likes. So he's made this frankengoogle creation
that queries three major search engines and
Twitter to make pretty graphs of love, hate and
indifference for whatever you type in.
http://www.whatdoestheinternetthink.net/

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
That's me on TV!

Last week we wanted your TV appearances. We are
glad we asked as otherwise we we'd have missed
TheMagicDwarf's story of appearing, drunk, on
Countdown. Go read it here.:
http://b3ta.com/questions/onthebox/

* MOTORBOATING FOR IRELAND - "After an Ireland
game, we'd won 2-0 and as we left I was accosted
by a woman in a extremely low-cut top with camera
man and microphone in tow who wanted my opinion
on the game. As she asked me my feelings on the
game I did that thing where you kind-of lean your
head down, only to realise I had a quite fantastic
view of a quite fantastic pair of tits. I then,
to my eternal shame/pride, took a deep breath,
looked down at her tits, then at the camera before
motorboating those big breasts for Ireland. I
was quickly shoved away by a furious camera-man
and some other guy who I hadn't noticed before.
Police took me to one side and it took all my wit
and drunken apologies for them not to arrest me.
Apologies to you, brunette with large boobies,
if you read this, but I regret nothing."
(Eoghan)

* PUSSYCATS - "I developed a revolutionary system
for the intensive indoor farming of Australian
crayfish. I shit you not. On the show Duncan
Bannatyne tried to argue that restaurants would
not buy live crayfish over frozen ones. He should
know, he quipped, as he owned a restaurant. So I
pointed out that his chef was one of my customers.
Deborah Meaden said she was out for ethical reasons
and accused me of being, "a bit of a wet fish", to
which I replied "No, I came here to see dragons
and only found pussycats." The foppish-haired
Australian one thought transport would be "an
issue" and didn't like me informing him that
the crayfish had been shipped from Brisbane a
week earlier courtesy of Singapore Airlines, been
down to Cornwall for a few days to recoup before
heading to London with me on a train and being
cooked by a Michelin-starred chef that morning
before heading to the studio in a taxi. Unsurprisingly
I was cut to about 15 seconds. They are all cunts."
(Mong The Merciless)

* POO ALWAYS WINS - "In 1990 I witnessed an air
crash (there's not much to do in the north of
Scotland). Local TV news cameras arrived the next
day and interview me: "It was very quick - there
was a big bang and a fireball," I say. They
interview my mum, "It was just like a sunset,"
she says, wistfully. They interview my dad, who,
at the time, was a fairly well-respected local
figure, "I didn't see it - I was in the toilet."
My dad got top billing when it aired - I was
last." (Mighty Nibus)

>> This Week's Question <<
Is your boss a cunt? Thought so. Tell us all
about it here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/theboss/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Ugliest tattoos <<
Tattoos are hot this week, what with that Dutch
girl claiming that she'd fallen asleep and
hadn't really wanted a bukkake sputz of 56 inky
stars across her left cheek. Hence it's with
good timing we bring you another compendium of
crap tats. BTW: We just tried really hard to
think up a crap tattoo idea and the best we can
come up with is adding a Google-style radio
button to your nipple with the slogan, "I'm
feeling lucky".
http://ugliesttattoos.com/

>> Bands say the stupidest things <<
Blog dedicated to the most idiotic or
egotistical press releases and bios put out by
bands and their hapless managers. Our favourite
comment? "Thanks, I'll listen to it in my car
on the way home!" – Jonny Greenwood, Radiohead.
http:/www.shutupbands.com

>> Sneaking round the neighbours' house <<
Alarming thread from internet dickwad who likes
to wander round his neighbours' house while
they're on holiday. With pictures, for your own
vicarious pleasure. Reminds us of Charlie
Manson sending out his family for "creepy
crawls".
http://snipurl.com/creepycrawl [forums_somethingawful_com]

>> The £10 breakfast <<
Greasy spoon offers a free breakfast for the
fat biffa who can entirely devour what's
essentially a whole fried pig wearing an egg
bikini. Otherwise, it's a tenner.
http://www.sharenator.org/The_10_Breakfast/

>> Never touch your shitty arse again <<
Truly the end times are here, when people are
unable to cope with the fact that they do poos
out of their bottoms. Here's a mechanical arm
to hold the toilet paper while you do your
business. Not included - another mechanical arm
to clean the shite off this one.
http://www.comfortwipe.com/

>> Radio Spiritworld <<
Peter Serafinowicz and Robert Popper are
probably best-known for the brilliant TV series
Look Around You, and lately we've been stalking
them both on twitter where we learnt about
their latest project - the first episode of a
podcast from beyond the grave. We advise
copying this to your iPod and going for a walk
in the local park - that's what we did.
Sniggering about ghosts whilst enjoying the
sunshine is a perfect way to spend 30 minutes.
http://rsw.cc/

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Milk teeth adventure

Breaking our golden rule of only using this
section to linky to baby animals, here's a cute
little photo story about two milk teeth and
their adventure in the big, big world.
http://mymilktoof.blogspot.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
A tiny little telly you can wank to at work

>> The Simpsons minus the Simpsons <<
The removing stuff meme continues - first there
was Garfield without Garfield's speech bubbles
- it made Garfield's owner Jon an utterly
mad, lonely figure talking to a dumb cat. Then
The Wonder Years with the narrative voiceovers
zilched - to suggest a world of uncomfortable
silences. And now? Some autistic genius has had
a go at the iconic intro from The Simpsons.
What next? Knight Rider's David Hasselhoff with
a Kitt that doesn't answer back?
http://snipurl.com/simpsons-simpsons
[www_romancortes_com]

>> Lily Allen vs. The Littlest Hobo Theme <<
Despite even our mum claiming to be bored of
them, mash-ups haven't died, especially when
they're spliced together for humour rather than
who-really-gives-a-toss music reasons. We're
loving the implication of this - that Lilly
Allen is stuck in an unsatisfactory romantic
entanglement with a dog.
http://snurl.com/lilyesthobo [www_b3ta_com]

>> Dinosaurs saying "Hi" <<
Dubbing Jurassic Park dinosaurs with a goofy
"hi" instead of roaring has a touch of genius
to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prgm4eKq6d4

>> What is a browser? <<
Google are doing some lovely research at the
moment - this video helping remind web
developers that in the greater world nobody
really gives a stuff about exact terminology.
If you're developing online projects - this
might make you think a little.
http://snipurl.com/whatisabrowser [pleaseenjoy_com]

>> The Book of Genesis revisited. <<
To critique Intelligent Design's absurd
marriage of science with religion, Michael
Shermer has penned the following revision of
the Genesis creation story. Ideal for sending
to your local vicar whilst you masturbate your
man cock by slapping it between the heavy pages
of The God Delusion. Oh sorry - just us then?
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Book_of_Genesis_revisited

>> Play Helen off Keyboard Cat... <<
In 1982 Academy Award-winning actress Helen Hunt
starred in Desperate Lives as a young woman who
jumps out of a window after taking PCP. In 2009
she was played off by Keyboard Cat. Epic.
http://snipurl.com/playhelenoff [www_b3ta_com]

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Nick Griffin Challenge

Last week we wanted you to 'shop
Britain's foremost Nazi.

Your favourites included:

* GOMA - an unsettling return for the
nation's favourite case of mistaken
identity (cakeburglar)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9512903

* CHOCOLATE - Griffin's glass eye spoils
new version of Cadburys ad (drboon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9514124

* OBAMA - Face-to-face with his political
nemesis, our racist hero crumbles (WiL)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9510295

All these images, and the highest as
voted by you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/nickgriffin/

>> New challenge: iPhone Apps <<
As Apple updates its iPhone software,
introducing revolutionary features like
'copy & paste' and 'picture messaging',
it's the perfect time to imagine the apps
that Apple won't approve, and to show how
they'd be used.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/iphone/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* REVIEWER'S REVENGE - Matt Boothman writes,
"In your last newsletter you featured a song by
The Glass Band, in which frontman Arran Glass
retaliated musically to a bad review. I'm the
c*nt that wrote the review and I've retaliated
in turn. Since you've linked your readers to
Mr Glass's song, maybe they'd like to hear the
next instalment of the Glass v. Boothman saga?"
http://snurl.com/manwitch [www_t5m_com]

* B3TARD GETS BOOKED - Sam Fuller writes, "Long
time lurker Monsieur Le Pedant here. My missus
runs this voice over agency: www.rabbit.uk.net
- they're great. On seeing Terry Mynott's
brilliant and haunting VO reel the other week
in the newsletter I forwarded it post haste to
her in charge. Happily they have just taken him
on."

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
Do Yo Knowz Yo Showz?

We've been working tirelessly behind the scenes
getting B3tans to make games for the E4 website
- the latest is David Homfray's unique take on
internet quizzes.
http://www.e4.com/game/do-yo-knowz-yo-showz/play.e4

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* AUTO-SITCOM MUSIC - "I need an iPhone app
that gives me incidental movie/sit com music
to use in my daily life." (@balkanbeat)

* STALKING PEOPLE - "A version of Shazam in
which you can send a photo of someone's face
and it will search facebook for their name."
(@ricomonkeon)

* MP FUN - "Code that takes the blacked-out bit
on MP expense forms and replaces it with text
from porn sites." (@MontyPropps)

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Rev. Jesse,
@ohthedecadence, @MJHibbett, executiverocker,
@SuaveRepublique, mr.dogshit, rich annexia,
intesvensk, Monkey Tennis *naf. Additional
linkage and image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Subjlos via peebles.

-------------------------------------------------

My sister talks about sex online with people
she doesn't know. She thinks ;)
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 808 - June 17, 2009 - Strange Statements Made During Job Interviews

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

"He was a man of great statue"
- Thomas Menino, Boston Mayor, on former mayor John Collins

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"Now, the only thing that remains unresolved is the resolution of the problem."
- Thomas Wells, Ontario legislature minister

"I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians."
- Tom Lasorda, former Dodger manager on World Cup soccer tournament

"Every city I go to is an opportunity to paint, whether it's Omaha or Hawaii."
- Tony Bennett, Singer

"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
- Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins

"Did people build this, or did Indians?"
- Tourist question at Mesa Verde National Park

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Statements Made During Job Interviews

"Almost everyone is guilty of bad sexual conduct."

"I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker."

"I never get hungry."

"I know who is responsible for most of my troubles."

"If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival."

"I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me."

"My legs are really hairy."

"I think I'm going to throw-up."

"At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking."

"I feel uneasy indoors."

"Sometimes I feel like smashing things."

"Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars."

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

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==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week -

content/category/100224_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Canadian Ice Wine - World's Most Expensive! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/152097.html

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Strange Glossary - American vs English Meanings - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/119405.html

Strange but True Facts About the Earth - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/119131.html

You Might Be A Physics Major if....... - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/125287.html

==================================

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