Vol 855 - Nov. 29, 2009 - Strange 'CAKE' Personality Test

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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NEW THIS WEEK - GAMES! - GAMES! - GAMES!

WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
ON THE NAVIGATION BAR. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO HOURS OF FUN!

CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

IT'S A BLAST! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/static/games.html

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange "Business" Quotes:

"When you need to knock on wood is when you realize the world's composed of aluminum and vinyl." [Flugg]

"If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then add one more as an afterthought, he'll forget two of the first five." [Wives]

"Keep up with the Grabowskis . . . you'll never make enough to keep up with the Joneses." [Advice on Status]

"Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work."

"The dirt is also on the other side." [Frisk Principle of Window Cleaning]

"When all else fails, why not read the instructions?"

"We should refrain from making very harsh judgments of people just because they happen to be dirty, no-good s.o.b.s."

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - -'CAKE' Personality Test

Take this cake personality test; then, send this e-mail on to others.

When you send this e-mail on, put your cake in the subject box above. No cheating. Pick your cake then, look to see.

If you were buying a cake and you had your choice of the following, which would you choose:

Angel food

Brownies

Lemon Meringue

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing

Strawberry Short Cake

Chocolate on Chocolate

Ice Cream

Carrot Cake

NO...you can't change your mind once you scroll down So think carefully, what your choice will be!!!

OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what research says about you:

Angel food ... Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being child-like and immature at times.

Brownies... You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon Meringue... Smooth, sexy, &articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing ... Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in life, very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad, however, you are a friend for life.

Strawberry Short Cake... Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You can be overly-emotional and annoying at times.

Chocolate on Chocolate ... Sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Ice Cream... You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

Carrot Cake... You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. ! People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE OLDE INVENTIONS & DEVICES FROM THE 1900's - LYRNAGAPHONE - 1929 - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/156422.html

STRANGE CANNED FOODS! - MOLE CRICKETS - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/156916.html

STRANGE WEATHER VANES AROUND THE WORLD - LOBSTER - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/157288.html

STRANGE JAPANESE CONCEPT CARS - FURAI - 1 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/157339.html

STRANGE PEACOCK SPIDER - 2 - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/157365.html

FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIERS - USS MACON & USS AKRON - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/157384.html

STRANGE SOCCER ANIMATIONS - STRANGE DOUBLE HEAD BUTT - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/157414.html

STRANGE FUTURE AUTOS - 10 - RIMSPEED - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/157799.html

STRANGE TRUCKS - LONG LONG LOAD! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/157880.html

SWEET RIDES - AWESOME CUSTOM CARS! - PPS - PRESENTATION - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/157897.html

AMAZING AERIAL VIEW OF HONOLULU, WAIKIKI BEACH AND DIAMONDHEAD CRATER - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/157906.html

2010 BRABUS MERCEDES-BENZ VIANO LOUNGE VAN - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/157949.html

MORON ATTACHES RIDING TRACTOR TO CRANE TO TRIM TALL HEDGE! - 3 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/157967.html

BEFORE CELLPHONES & RADIO! - 1901 MAP OF TELEGRAPH AND SEA CABLE LINES! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/158013.html

STRANGE LIGHTNING SILHOUETTES F-18 SUPER HORNETS ON CARRIER DECK - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/158014.html

YOU'RE STANDING ON YOUR CONDO BALCONY AND SUDDENLY!!!!!!!!!! LOW F-16 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/158015.html

LONGBOAT - NO REALLY - A LONG LONG BOAT! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/158017.html

CRAZY SPARKING MOTORCYCLE WHEEL-STAND - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/158016.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - SUBMARINES - SUB FACILITIES - TORPEDOES

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/100633_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

10 Strangest Celebrity Endorsements - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/157907.html

If I Didn't Have a Dog ..... or Cat ... - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/157839.html

Teachers and Quick Witted Kids! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/157896.html

The Strange Sad History of "Taps" - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/157905.html

Ten Excuses for Missing Work - Five Smart, Five DUMB - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/122770.html

How to Speak Nuw Zulander .......... - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/123073.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - SUBMARINES - SUB FACILITIES - TORPEDOES

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/110_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

NEW THIS WEEK - GAMES! - GAMES! - GAMES!

WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
ON THE NAVIGATION BAR. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO HOURS OF FUN!

CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

IT'S A BLAST! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/static/games.html

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

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Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "Free text file inside"

 

This Week:
* BOOZE - 100 shots in 100 mins
* SONG - Dear Mandy
* STAND UP - Your chance to do some comedy

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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We lied about
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | saving the web"
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|

B3ta pager bleep 406 - 27 Nov 2009

Read this issue twice:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue406/

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Subtypist: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: SPONSORED LINK
Amazon Black Friday

Just got an email from Amazon mentioning that
today is "Black Friday", the busiest online
shopping day of the entire year. We guess it's
something to do with Christmas shopping and
that you all have no idea what to buy your
gran, so she ends up with the new Dan Brown and
an egg Breville. There's meant to be lots of
deals on but we're too half-arsed to write any
proper sales copy so this will have to do: go
consume worthless products gentle readers, as
pretty soon you'll be dead and there's no 15%
off in Hell. Linky goes to the brilliantly titled
book "Overcoming Obstacles with Spunk."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0981621023/b3ta-21

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
100 shots, Cheese, Mandy and Mayday

>> 100 shots in 100 minutes <<
Time-lapse footage for b3tard Dave attempting
100 shots of beer in 100 minutes. A.K.A The
Centurion! What a hero - and he has work in the
morning too! Thanks to liamrafferty85 for
bringing us this.
http://snurl.com/100shots

>> Cheesipedia <<
"CHEESE! PEDIA! CHEESIPEDIA!" screams The
Neville. "So, anyway, I decided it was about
time I started up an online encyclopaedia of
cheese. It's early days yet, but I've got a few
firm favourites in there."
http://cheesipedia.com/

>> "Dear Mandy..." <<
Genius rapper Dan Bull brought us the sublime
'Dear Lilly', a scolding letter to Lilly Allen
using her own catchy backing tracks. Can he
pull it off again with a message to sinister
Baron Mandelson, who wants to cut off people's
household internet connections if he suspects
them of filesharing? BTW: We've also heard that
pager companies are lobbying Mandelson to make
texting illegal.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/I_wrote_another_letter

>> RC MAYDAY Crash Investigation <<
"I made this short film about a major air
disaster," exclaims JamWire. "And like
Discovery Channel, I shouted all over it to
make it seem more interesting." Guess what?
That trick really works!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/RC_MAYDAY_Crash_Investigations

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: SICKIPEDIA COMEDY NIGHT 2.0
December 9th - Old Blue Last Shoreditch

The last Sickipedia night was a massive
success, and excellent fun. A packed room of
happy drunken people and a dozen or so mostly
brand-new comedians. The pub's asked us to do
it again so come down, have a drink and a
laugh. And if you fancy going on stage get in
touch with Rob:
http://snurl.com/sickipediav2

Among the star attractions already booked;
returning favourites tricyclic_looper and
mushybees. Also Richard Tingley, best-known to
us as Bovine from the B3ta boards. He's
recently been running a video blog which, with
its mixture of jokes and confessional, we're
finding rather compelling. Reckon there's an
independent film in it somewhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NbAH2NxtRY

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: GO AND SEE BEN WHEATLEY'S FILM. GO ON!
Down Terrace, Brighton, Friday

Ben: Is it too late to pimp the screening of
Down Terrace in the newsletter? It's on at 11pm
at the Duke of York, Brighton.

B3ta: OK, is there any kind of, 'Ben and Rob
Hill will be in the bar - buy them a pint'
stuff?

Ben: Yes, from 9 in the Duke's bar.
Then Ben went quiet for 5 mins and sent a
follow up email to tempt you.
Ben: Also there will be badges.
http://www.cine-city.co.uk/2009/tag/fri-27-11/

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
PE Lessons

Last week we asked for your tales of school
sanctioned sports sadism. Those without a sick
note can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/pe/

* YAY! GAMES! - "First day at a Second Division
Public School somewhere in the East Midlands. I
was 10, just. The timetable said: "2pm-4pm:
Games." Whoopee, think I and several other
innocent 10-year olds, we get to spend two
hours playing on the swings/roundabout/seesaw.
So we do; and the next day, and the day after
that. It was about two weeks before they found
us. Apparently we were meant to have reported
to the rugby pitch on day one. They were
starting to wonder where we'd got to." (Guy
Debord)

* SMARTARSE - "Physical feats of speed or
endurance are not my thing. I'm more of a
brainy type. I can see some of you are nodding
and some want to punch me already. Aged 12, at
a selective boys grammar school, I'm trying to
make my mark with a new load of 30 class mates.
Sir sets one particular task, 'Everyone in the
middle of the gym, now run and touch every wall
and return to the centre.' This is the cue for
every boy to immediately scatter to the middle
of the nearest wall before turning around and
running fast as their little spindly legs could
carry them to the middle of the opposite wall
(some unfortunately meeting another boy coming
the other way) before repeating with the other
two walls. Now I really don't like to do more
than I have to. I thought for a moment and
proceeded to jog sedately to the corner of the
gym where I touched two walls at once, ambled
to the opposite corner, touched the last two
walls and returned leisurely to the centre of
the gym arriving way before the speediest of my
peers. Unfortunately in one act, I had singled
myself out to staff and pupils alike as too
bloody clever for my own good." (Rich T)

* FUNNY-SHAPED BALLS - "The game was rugby. The
teacher was Mr Pullen, the science master, who
had never played before. He actually turned up
on the pitch with a huge book entitled 'The
Rules of Rugby'. He explained kicking. He
explained tries. And then he got on to
tackling. A volunteer was needed. Pullen
pointed at Rapinder Sood, the skinniest,
bow-leggiest, tiniest and only moustachioed boy
in the school. Pullen jogged off slowly.
Rapinder followed until, 'Now boy. Now!'
screamed Pullen. Rapinder caught up and made an
effort at diving for Mr Pullen's legs but
missed any real connection. But he did just
catch the ankles and there he held on for dear
life. There was no way Rapinder was ever going
to bring the teacher down. But something else
did come down. Rapinder's doggedness made sure
that the teacher's tracksuit bottoms came free.
It turned out Mr Pullen was not wearing shorts
under his tracksuit. Mr Pullen was not wearing
pants under his tracksuit. Mr Pullen was
wearing fuck all under his tracksuit." (Albert
Marshmallow)

>> This Week's Question <<
We really need ideas for Christmas presents and
who better to ask than you lovely creative
people:
http://b3ta.com/questions/present/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Please design a logo for me. With pie charts <<
Designer's email exchange with guy wanting him
to do free work. We've all been there. Christ,
we normally pretend that "we'll make you famous
on b3ta" when we want them to do free work.
http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p.html

>> Naked girls injecting heroin <<
Harpski writes, "If you think that heroin chic
is a good look maybe this link will revise your
opinion." An alarming set of photos that will
stay with you longer than most things we link
to this week. BTW: We wonder how they were
taken? Did someone go "I'll buy you some smack
if you let me take your photo?"
http://snurl.com/heroinchicks

>> Clients from hell <<
A classic theme we've tackled a handful of
times in our questions of the week, but this
version scores via brevity and it's all rather
engrossing if you start reading. BTW: If any of
our clients are reading then we love you! And
can you pay that invoice please?
http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com/

>> Hairy sausages <<
A neat idea from our Russian friends here -
stick raw spaghetti into a hot-dog sausage and
boil it to create a bearded banger.
http://englishrussia.com/?p=3344#more-3344

>> Trying to disappear from the internet <<
A writer for Wired tried to vanish from the
world, offering a $5000 bounty for anybody who
could find him, it quickly turned into a large
internet collaboration.
http://www.wired.com/vanish/2009/11/ff_vanish2/

>> LOLSQL <<
One for cat-obsessed computer programmers here:
a mutant mash-up of lol-cat speak and SQL, the
special language engineers use to coax
databases into love-making.
http://www.aaronbassett.com/2009/i-can-haz-lolsql/

>> Google autocompletes <<
A handful of amusing google autocompletes have
been doing the rounds recently and this
enterprising little blog has thought, "Hang on,
there's a blog in that."
http://autocompleteme.com

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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Chimp and tigers

"Surely this will make you go aaah :) get it in
the newsletter!" urges bruvopunk.
http://pictures.streakr.com/whitetigers.htm

"and also if you do could you possibly plug my
new release, i am a dubstep producer: Flux
Pavilion and Trolley Snatcha - Family
Fortune/Steppa. if you get it in there ill work
out some way of paying you back, maybe sampling
a b3ta classic in a new tune, im doin pretty
well :)"
http://www.myspace.com/thedarkerfluxpavilion

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
TV but with distracting shit round the edges

>> Toilet flush obsessive <<
Black Moon writes, "Is this guy for real? Look
how many videos he has, look how many views
they have!" Yep, this guy has over 400 videos
of flushing bogs. The loo fan writes, "I live
in the East Midlands in England. My favourite
hobby as you can see, toilets, has been since I
was 2."
http://www.youtube.com/user/ramdomness453

>> Bohemian Rhapsody by the Muppets <<
We're having a bit of a Queen celebration in
B3ta Towers, in the run up to Xmas they've
released yet another greatest hits, but the
interesting bit is there's a version on Spotify
where CD2 is Roger Taylor and Brian May doing a
director's commentary thing. Worth an hour of
your time. And in other news - here's Jim
Henson's Muppets singing Freddie's theme to
Wayne's World:
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Bohemian_Rhapsody_by_the_Muppets

>> Man Vs Toddler <<
Dead-pan song about grown-ups' superiority to
children, it's a bit like Flight of the
Conchords doing the competitive dad joke from
The Fast Show.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Man_Vs_Toddler

>> Grim Segway porn <<
The thing about porn is that you shouldn't ever
look at it, it's wrong. However if it's funny
porn then it's safe - you're looking at a
comedy item: a pair of hi-tech Segways with a
huge dribbling cock and a monster gaping minge,
and not naked ladies at all, oh no. Definitely
NSFW.
http://gallys.realitykings.com/mt/176/?id=capturedartsltd

>> Happiness Hat <<
If you're anything like us you find people
complete awful and most social situations a
mixture of horror and embarrassment, yet wonder
quite how some people breeze through life gayly
smiling and making everybody like them? The
secret is the happiness hat. We're wearing one
right now. On our cocks.
http://vimeo.com/7283341

>> Cheapy Lighter Laser Burner! <<
Convert a cheapo cigarette lighter into a
powerful laser cutter capable of burning skin
and blinding kittens. Who needs x-ray eyes now
superman?
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Cheapy_Lighter_Laser_Burner

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: ASK B3TA
Lift button racing

Last week A Vagabond asked whether repeatedly
pressing a lift button will get it to your
floor any quicker.

Chris W writes, "My friend Big Kev is a lift
engineer and lives in Reading. I emailed him
about multiple pressing of buttons and he
replied, 'You just need to press the direction
you need to go, and the call is logged for that
floor. Continual pressing makes no difference,
just like when you use a pedestrian crossing
you press the button and the call is logged
from the first push.' Please mention Big Kev if
you use this!"

"Lifts do have buttons that don't work or do
anything," adds Jon P. "On many lifts the
'close door' button is not connected and simply
makes people feel better. its called a placebo
button as defined in Wikipedia."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placebo_button

"Pressing the elevator call button lots doesn't
make it come faster, but there is a way once
you're inside the elevator to get it to go
straight to your floor without stopping at
other ones: Press the floor button as well as
the the door close button at the same time, and
keep them held down," opines Tom from England.
If you then press up and down simultaneously it
gives you infinite lives and a railgun. 'Proof'
here:
http://snipurl.com/elevatorhack

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Cutouts Challenge

Last week we wanted you to make celebrity
cutout dolls.

Your favourites included:

* CAKE - it may taste of cardboard, but it
looks bloody delicious (The magic of chutney)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9802474

* B3TA - an almost instant, highly portable
version of your favourite website (yanmania...)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9802323

* EYES - dress your pet with these charming yet
annoying eyes (Fresh Water Mole)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9800692

All these images, and the highest as
voted by you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/cutouts/

>> New challenge: Desktop Icon Art <<
This week's challenge is to make a picture
using the icons on your desktop. Challenge
inspired by thescotsman.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/desktop-art/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* FRAMERATER UPDATE: "Your favourite film
tracker is new and improved," boast the
Framerater crew. "We have now expanded the
lists of films that you may have seen,
including IMDb Top 250, 1001 Movies You Must
See, AFI Top 100 and BFI Top 100. Also direct
links to Amazon and LoveFilm so you can easily
order that film you have wanted to see for
ages. Thanks for all the support, enjoy!"
http://www.framerater.co.uk/

* HOMO MILK - Last week's Funny Name Corner
lolled at homogenised milk labels. This week
HairyTwatter writes, "I work with milk
processing plants quite a bit. The homogenizer
is universally called 'the homo' ...and here's
these big guys talking about running a
calcium-enriched product thru the homogenizer
and saying, 'Every time I run the product it
really tears up the inside of the homo.'" We're
really milking this gag now, eh?

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* IS THIS PERSON MARRIED? - a yes/no/upload
photo thing. Are the stereotypes true? Are all
lonely men fat? Are all spinsters cat owners?
Possibly could be done via a facebook app thing
too. But we hate facebook apps as you have to
install them to play them, then they shit all
over your profile.

* WHEN WAS THE NEWSLETTER PUBLISHED? Dave
writes, "Have any of the B3TAns produced a
graph to show at what time of day (or indeed
which day)newsletters have been published? I
love deadlines almost as much as Douglas Adams
did, and would like to see a graphical
representation of somebody else's (Rob's)
approach to dealing with a chronological
imperative. Really it's because as a freelancer
I spend any Friday when I'm not working
wondering what time the newsletter will appear
in my inbox. Not in a slightly obsessed
repeatedly clicking the send and receive button
sort of way - honest!"

* MAKE A SONG FROM PLUCKING RUBBER BANDS - make
sure you film it too as it would be a bit shit
if it's just a load of boingy noises and no
visuals.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Kingdom Oblivion,
@markjbenson, Chemistry Dan, @codepo8,
largoembargo, sinisterduck , Appox, Ed
Blackadder, @oxygenthiefYEAH, unclestinky,
Darklord, Chazz, willenium, and PyroTyger.
Additional linkage and image challenge by
Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols by Undulating Tentacles of Love.
BTW: We accidentally asked the /talk board
instead of the main board for this - check it
out if you're bored:
http://www.b3ta.com/talk/6565556

-------------------------------------------------

Marks And Spencer's new advert states that it
wouldn't be Christmas without M&S. They're
right too. It'd be Chrita.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 853 - Nov. 22, 2009 - Strange Southern Phrases

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW THIS WEEK - GAMES! - GAMES! - GAMES!

WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
ON THE NAVIGATION BAR. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO HOURS OF FUN!

CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

IT'S A BLAST! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/static/games.html

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

"Women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you'll be disconnected." ---Unknown

"People like you are the reason people like me take pills!" ---Neva Faith Linn

"There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and…." ---Brad Ramsey

"Life was so much easier when your clothes didn't match and boys had cooties!" ---Unknown

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." ---Oscar Wilde

"A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married." ---H.L. Mencken

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Southern Phrases

SOUTHERN PHRASES THAT WILL HELP YOU FIT IN
IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH

1. "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

2. "It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."

3. "He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

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9. "He's as country as corn flakes."

10. "This is gooder'n grits."

11. "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."

12. "If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to
help me enjoy it."

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE OLDE INVENTIONS & DEVICES FROM THE 1900's - RAINY DAY CIGARETTE UMBRELLA - 1954 - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/156419.html

F/A 22A RAPTOR - LOCKHEED MARTIN - WEAPONS BAY CLOSE-UP - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/156849.html

STRANGE CANNED FOODS! - ARMADILLO - SUN DRIED & ROAD TENDERIZED! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/156913.html

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1950 STUDEBAKER COMMANDER - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/157151.html

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DRUG BUST - MEXICAN DRUG LORD ARRESTED AND GOODS CONFISCATED! - GOLD PLATED MACHINE GUNS! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/157520.html

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STRANGE DISNEY VEHICLES - DONALD DUCKS CAR! - 4 - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/157589.html

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AMAZING STEP BACK INTO HISTORY - PPS - PRESENTATION - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/157661.html

ALI vs LISTON - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/157663.html

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KATE GOSSELIN'S GOOFY YEARBOOK PICTURE! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/157700.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - MISC - CRAZY STUFF - TRAINS - BICYCLES - VANITY PLATES

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100006_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Blonde Accidentally Cuts Off Her Cats Tail! - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/157716.html

Hillbilly Medical Terms - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/20947.html

Computer Rednecks - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/20877.html

True Test of Your Southern-ness - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/20362.html

Top 40 Country Western Titles - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/21032.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - MISC - CRAZY STUFF - TRAINS - BICYCLES - VANITY PLATES

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==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

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-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

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WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
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CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

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[b3ta] "Tea is for mugs"

 

This Week:
* LOVE - Joel loves Ben Goldacre
* PAWN - Cats for Gold
* VID - Best Batman spoof ever

-------------------------------------------------
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____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're eating lots
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| of meat... together"

B3ta email 405 - 20 Nov 2009

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue405/

Love: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Hate: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Alice In Chains - 7th December - Brixton Academy

Here's some facts we've cribbed:
* Original singer Layne Staley died after
injecting a heroin and cocaine speedball. In
tribute - Wikipedia puts a little tombstoney
cross next to his name.
* Elton John appears on their new album, From
Black to Blue (absolutely not a concept album
about biros).
* Guitarist Jerry Cantrell shares his birthday
with Sophia Myles - who's extremely pretty and
was once on Doctor Who. In fact we've just
googled some pics of her. Gosh, yes, pretty lady.
http://sn.im/t9jhy

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other than walking shit on our nice carpets

>> Ben Goldacre's big penis? <<
"I sort of tried to make a love song about
Doctor Ben Goldacre," confides Joel Veitch.
"Except it's not really a love song, it's more
about his crusade against evidence-less
assertions." The most beautiful thing we have
ever seen - we mean Joel's vid, rather than the
good doctor's sizeable love syringe.
http://www.rathergood.com/ben

>> Close Encounters of the Redneck Kind <<
Inspired bit of soundtrack swapping by
Monkstar1. "We come in peace... Now let's you
just drop them pants."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Close_Encounters_of_the_Redneck_Kind

>> Call of Duty: Secret Spielberg Level <<
The harrowing opening sequence of Saving
Private Ryan rendered as an X-Box shooter by
ratbanjos and crew. The voice chat is
excellent, giggling as they get their limbs
blown off and leaving part-way through, to check
on the baby.
http://snipurl.com/savepointprivateryan

>> Chris deBurgh is Dead <<
Yes, the shining light who brought us Lady in
Red has been snufed from the world. Ok, no, it
just a cruel, cruel hoax by Kaufman22. The
comments from fans add a lot of value.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQZgWbWfo7I

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Family Feuds

Last week we asked for your stories of families
at war. We've collected three short and funny
replies here, but do go read the the
heart-breaking tales of woe on the site.
SittingDuck's entry is worth it alone:
http://b3ta.com/questions/familyfeuds/

* MEH - "My Granddad was the youngest of seven,
born in Yorkshire in 1930. When I was growing
up (and when my Mum was too - so ever since the
50s) we never, ever met any of his brothers or
sisters, despite all of them apparently being
alive. Was there some sort of massive reason
for the falling out, I always wondered? My mum
wasn't sure, so one day when I was a kid I
decided to just ask Granddad why he never saw
them. He thought hard for a moment, sucked on
his pipe, and said 'Because they're boring
bastards.' Different values back in them
days..." (SnowyTheRabbit)

* SMEGMA-BLE - "Not a major argument, but my
brother once hid my favourite marble up his
foreskin for a couple of days for no real
reason. I was rather angry to say the least,
and my marble smelt funny." (Monkey the Chicken)

* NICK-NICK - "My uncle Nick doesn't really get
on with anyone else in the family."
(apeloverage)
http://www.apolitical.info/family.jpg

>> This Week's Question <<
PE Lessons: a never-ending series of
punishments involving inappropriate nudity and
climbing up ropes until you wet yourself? Tell
us about your PE lessons and the psychotics who
taught them here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/pe/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Cats for gold <<
In the current recession pawnbrokers have
descended on this land like vultures picking
flesh off sun-bleached bones. These people are
scum, their business immoral and ripe for satire.
http://www.catsforgold.com

>> Top ten geocities midi tunes <<
Jason Scott is our nerd hero - he does cool
shit like backing up Geocities when Yahoo shut
it down. Yeah Geocities is a bit laughable but
as Jason says, "GeoCities was the largest
self-created folk-art collection in the history
of the world." He's also made a funny list of
the most popular midi files - so get ready for
some unfashionable 90s nostalgia as the theme
to the X-files is number 1.
http://ascii.textfiles.com/archives/2342

>> Reverse-engineering of Palin autobiography <<
"I'm always embarrassed when I see an index an
author has made of his own work. It's a
shameless exhibition - to the trained eye.
Never index your own book," wrote Kurt
Vonnegut. What he didn't say was that it's also
a perfect and unique format for writing gags.
Hoisted with his own petard and all that.
(Actually what is a petard? "A petard was a
small bomb used to blow up gates and walls when
breaching fortifications." Thanks Wikipedia.)
http://www.slate.com/id/2235917/

>> Public Transport People <<
When we get on the tube we like to sit opposite
the prettiest lady we can find and then imagine
having sex with them. Think on that ladies.
Anyway - these chaps prefer to spot the
mentally ill and photograph them. Can't be
legal, but then nothing fun is.
http://www.peopleofpublictransit.com/

>> Playboy in Braille <<
Surely a gag that's already been done to death
in our photoshopping boards but this looks
real. There's also some site knocking around
which does text descriptions of porno videos
for the blind. What next? An eating dog for the
anorexic? (This is our favourite gag ever, and
credit where credit is due, it was written by
Prince Philip to amuse The Queen.)
http://www.banterist.com/archivefiles/000305.html

>> Amazon laptop steering wheel desk <<
Amazon was web 2.0 before web 2.0 knew how to
count - it's all about the user generated
content and it's at it's best when users upload
really naughty things and then people email
them about going, "ha ha, look at amazon" and
it all works as happy marketing for the
long-tailed super-mall. The latest lol is a
laptop desk for your carwheel and some minor
social satirist has uploaded a series of
crashed cars for the "customer images| bit.
http://snipurl.com/laptopsteering

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like a stunted version of You've Been Framed

>> Possibly the best Batman spoof ever. <<
By a kid and his mum - this child will either
end up a fantastic film maker or a serial
rapist. There is no in-between in our land of
false dichotomy. BTW: If you don't know what
dichotomy means, it's basically like a
tracheotomy but for lesbians. Oh we're so shit,
sorry.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Possibly_the_best_batman_spoof_ever

>> Rubbish Josh Stone video <<
Apparently made by her brother and then
suppressed by EMI for being embarrassingly bad.
Stuff to watch out for:
* Randomly crap lighting - like Ed Wood with
an anglepoise.
* Unconvincing bridesmaid that has a tokenist
Windows Party quality to her. "She's black!
It'll make Joss look more soulful!"
* Joss dressed as a WPC - with all the bad
acting of the intro to a porn tape
* WTF! It's all gone black and white like Black
Adder goes Forth.
* Er.. We're giving up describing this shit -
there's too much of it and it's just mental.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s6WHJWdD9U

>> Peaches Geldof- Master of The English Language. <<
Gosh, it feels like we're bitter old men
ragging on young ladies here because they
wouldn't look twice at us and we're past it
grandad. But no - how can you fail to enjoy
this compendium of Peaches Geldof saying "like"
on some useless TV show about her life?
Although, we suppose, if someone did the same
to us with the word "er" and "um" we'd look
equally shit and a lot less attractive.
http://snipurl.com/likepeaches

>> Stuffed Animal TV <<
Fuck it - we've got a theme going, let's run
with it. This time it's a REALLY REALLY young
lady and something bad happens and then we feel
guilty. This sounds like a set-up line for a
paedo joke, but no, we don't joke about
paedophilia as that's just fucking immature.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=afe_1258501713

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
The section you won't let die

* MAJOR DICKIE HEAD - "Working for machinations
of our government I stumbled upon the
aforementioned gentleman's name in the email
address book and assumed it to be a prank by
some witty techie, but lo and behold a year
later..." (tk0345)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8014318.stm

* HOMO MILK - it took us a good 20 seconds to
work out that homo is short for homogenised
rather than homosexual. BTW: Our favourite line
in 30 Rock recently was "Are any of you
gay men?" "No! I'm bi-larious!"
http://i.imgur.com/n7CH8.jpg

* YES IT"S A DOCTOR WANG JOKE - but the context
gives it a little extra. "I saw this in an
empty show window this morning on my local high
street. It must be true because I saw a little
Oriental fella locking the door as I walked
past." (benhammy)
http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u178/benhammy/DSC01542-1.jpg

-------------------------------------------------

: ASK B3TA
Recycling conspiracy?

Last week we asked for evidence that the
council really does sort out the recycling
properly and doesn't just bung it into a
landfill whilst whistling and grumbling, "dunno
what you're talking about guv."

* NO CONSPIRACY - "I used to work for Barking
and Dagenham Council's call centre, and
answered a lot of calls on this. People were
convinced that it was all a lie. The recycling
and rubbish were collected in the same lorry,
but they were sorted out later on. The
residents had to put all recycling into orange
bags, and the proper rubbish into black bags.
The bags all got chucked onto a conveyor belt
at the rubbish place, and a camera recognised
the orange bags and sent a flap thing to push
them off the belt into a skip that went off to
a recycling place. So it does get sorted out,
honest. I saw it with my own eyes." (gumblina)

* NEW SCIENTIST THING - "They had an article
where they tagged ten bits of rubbish in
Seattle and monitored where it ended up (19
September issue)... and most of the recycling
did actually get recycled." (julesmbrown)

* OK, SOMETIMES IT FUCKS UP - "Last year we had
a letter to our local newspaper (either the
Wirral News or Wirral Globe if you can be arsed
to check their websites) where someone blew
the whistle on recycling being dumped on the
local landfill. The council admitted that the
facilities could only handle so much recycling
a day and if the limit was exceeded the freshly
collected recycling was dumped on the landfill
site." (hagis_uk)

>> THIS WEEK WE'RE ASKING... LIFT BUTTONS <<
"It's A Vagabond here, and I have a question
for the clever peeps of B3ta - praps the
newsletter - which is 'When facing multiple
lifts, does pressing the call button repeatedly
make any difference to the speed at which any
of them up?'"

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Baddies Goodies Challenge

Last week we wanted you to make baddies good,
and vice versa.

Your favourites included:

* BUSH - with Obama in the White House, its
former resident finally does the right thing
(cockweasle)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9792499

* HE-MAN - the most powerful man in the
universe snaps (2 Can Chunder)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9792390

* TALIBAN - once all that Middle East stuff has
been sorted, suicide bombers will need to find
alternative employment (HappyToast)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9792611

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/baddiesgoodies/

>> New challenge: Celebrity Cut-out Dolls <<
This week's challenge is to create cut-
out-and-keep dolls based on celebrities. For
extra points, photograph their exploits during
the hours of fun they'll almost certainly
provide.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/cutouts/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* MAKE YOUR OWN MORSE SWEARS - "I," begins
social hand grenade, "have found a site that
lets you type a message of up to 200
characters, convert it to Morse, and then
download the MP3." Enjoy your new ringtone!
http://www.morseresource.com/morse/makemorse.php

* I SING COMMENTS - "Hi," trills HenDeadly.
"This is my new project in which I will sing
comments, all and any comments, via the power
of autotune! Post a comment and I'll add it to
the song - your words will be immortalised! Big
thanks to cr3 for the youtube wizardry that
made the site work. Fa la la-la-la!" We may
start doing Funny Name Corner this way too -
it's the future!
http://www.henrysingscomments.com/

* KATY vs ZOOEY - We asked for a quiz to tell
the difference between Katy Perry and Zooey
Deschanel - so one of our loyal readers
invented a time machine, travelled back 18
months and created one! Hurrah - and thanks to
Phil Evans for the tip-off.
http://snipurl.com/katyorzooey

* WINE BOX ALCHY I - "How do you get the last
dribble of delicious booze out of a wine box?"
asked thirsty Martin last week. Scoltock
reckons: "Simply put your mouth over the tap,
press the button and blow. You will inflate the
bag, removing all the tedious crinkles and the
last glass will come out no problem." If you
over-inflate then it comes out as champagne.

* WINE BOX ALCHY II - "In true Jim'll Fix It
Style, I have come to Martin's wine-box rescue,"
claims Sarah. "He's fed up of badly designed
boxes which make getting to his wine feel like
a Krypton Factor challenge. He ought to check
out FreshCase and we can help.

"Happy to offer some FreshCase samples to you
and Martin to check out for yourselves and see
if it meets your needs."

Wait, what? THESE GUYS ARE PROMISING TO SEND US
FREE WINE TO TEST THIS OUT? 8 YEARS OF WRITING
THIS FUCKING NEWSLETTER SUDDENLY MAKE SENSE!
http://www.freshcasewine.com/default.aspx

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include:

* HUGH LAURIE FANBOY SUPER-CUT - "Recently,
while watching Hugh Laurie in the House, we
came up with an idea that we are neither
skilled enough or clever enough to execute.
What we want is a compilation of Dr House's
facial expressions for every 'eureka' moment in
the first five series." (Mark & Kaye)

* A BLOG CALLED "GOING STRAIGHT" - where a gay
man tries to live as a heterosexual person for
a while and hilarity ensures.

* THERE WAS AN OLD WOMAN WHO... swallowed a
fly, I don't know why she swallowed a fly,
Perhaps she'll die. Rework this song with
increasingly large storage media. Whether you
go from tiny physical size to large (SD cards
to 12" floppies) or via capacity is entirely up
to you.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by via soupeh,
conster, digitalraven, rotational, @EdStern and
Fishcat. Additional linkage and image challenge
by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols via Nikorasu. Sickipedia CTRLC+V from
IndigoFlow. Props to David Harrison for buying
the ad at the last minute.


-------------------------------------------------

: SICKIPEDIA
The homeless problem would be solved if the Big
Issue had tits in it.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 852 - Nov. 18, 2009 - Quiz For People Who Know Everything

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW THIS WEEK - GAMES! - GAMES! - GAMES!

WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
ON THE NAVIGATION BAR. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO HOURS OF FUN!

CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

IT'S A BLAST! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/static/games.html

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange "Silly" Quotes:

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Quiz For People Who Know Everything

(1) There's one "sport" in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. What is it?

(2) What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

(3) Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

(4) Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?

(5) What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

(6) In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

(7) Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw." They are all common. Name two of them.

(8) There are fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name half of them?

(9) Where are the lakes that are referred to in the "Los Angeles Lakers?"

(10) There are seven ways a baseball player can legally reach first base without getting a hit. Taking a base on balls-a walk-is one way. Name the other six.

(11) It's the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. What is it?

(12) Name six or more things that you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter "S."

"Answers To Quiz"

1. Boxing.

2. Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.

3. Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. Baseball.

5. Strawberry.

6. The pear grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the whole growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

7. Dwarf, dwell, and dwindle.

8. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

9. In Minnesota. The team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers and kept the name when they moved west.

10. Batter hit by a pitch; passed ball; catcher interference; catcher drops third strike; fielder's choice; and being designated as a pinch runner.

11. Lettuce.

12. Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, snowshoes, stockings.
..Well, now you know! Feel any smarter?

==================================

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Vol 851 - Nov. 15, 2009 - Strange Answering Machine Greetings

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW THIS WEEK - GAMES! - GAMES! - GAMES!

WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
ON THE NAVIGATION BAR. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO HOURS OF FUN!

CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

IT'S A BLAST! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/static/games.html

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Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Strange "Business" Quotes:

Drive thy business or it will drive thee. - Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me. - John Cleese (1939 - )

A dinner lubricates business. - Lord William Stowell

To succeed as a team is to hold all of the members accountable for their expertise. - Mitchell Caplan, CEO, E*Trade Group Inc.

I ran the wrong kind of business, but I did it with integrity. - Sydney Biddle Barrows, in Marian Christy, ''Mayflower Madam' Tells All,' Boston Globe, 1986

No one traveling on a business trip would be missed if he failed to arrive. - Thorstein Veblen (1857 - 1929)

In the business world, the rear view mirror is always clearer than the windshield. - Warren Buffett (1930 - )

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Answering Machine Greetings

ANSWERING MACHINE

1. Me no here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.

2. "Suicide Hotline...please hold."

3. Hellooo....Hellloooo, well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.

4. Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can't come to the phone right now. He's either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call.

5. (With loud music playing in the background) "Hello... HELLO?? I can't hear you! What? Oh.. we're not home, leave a message.

6. Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

7. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

8. "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

9. We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

10. Hello, this is Susan. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.

==================================

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==================================

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==================================

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==========================

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Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

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---------------------

NEW THIS WEEK - GAMES! - GAMES! - GAMES!

WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
ON THE NAVIGATION BAR. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO HOURS OF FUN!

CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

IT'S A BLAST! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/static/games.html

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

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