Vol 815 - July 12, 2009 - Strange Astrological Signs & Light Bulbs

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

OVER 10,000 GREAT OLDE PICTURES AND IMAGES DATING BACK TO
THE FIRST PICTURES EVER TAKEN - HISTORY - WILD WEST - WORLD WARS
OLDE SPORTS - HEROES & VILLAINS - AUTOS & SHIPS - RAILROADS - A-BOMBS
WEAPONS - OLDE MEDICAL EQUIPMENT - OLDE ADVERTISING - OLDE MOVIE STARS
SILENT PICTURES - STARLETS - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - TRAVEL

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see it shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. - Tim Allen

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code.....he turned himself in. - Rita Rudner

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked... - Bill Cosby

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." - Elayne Boosler

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Astrological Signs & Light Bulbs

BRIGHT SIGNS!

How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb?

ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it?

TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done -- they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process.

LEO: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the
job for them while they're out.

VIRGO: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- one millionth.

LIBRA: Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?

SCORPIO: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the
Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

CAPRICORN: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

AQUARIUS: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so....

PISCES: Light bulb? What light bulb?

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE MONKEY - GOLD LANGUR - PEACOCK ISLAND, INDIA - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/152891.html

STRANGE OLDE PIXS - ARCHEOLOGIST EXAMINES KING TUTS COFFIN - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/152893.html

STRANGE JAPANESE TOY FAD - OBAMA SAMURAI ACTION FIGURE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152894.html

SEARS TOWERS STRANGE NEW SCARY OBSERVATION WINDOW - CHICAGO, ILL - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/152895.html

AMAZING F-22 RAPTOR PHOTO - EXACT MOMENT IT BREAKS THE SOUND BARRIER! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152896.html

STRANGE TOY CAR ACCIDENT - THE LITTLE KIDS FIRST DUI? - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/152897.html

STRANGE BUILDING COLLAPSE IN SHANGHAI - 9 PEOPLE ARRESTED! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/152898.html

STRANGE "PAC-MAN" YACHT - AMAZING! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/152902.html

THEODORE ROOSEVELT & JOHN MUIR - GREAT CONSERVATIONISTS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152905.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN STEALTH MILITARY BOMBER - SUKHOI - PAK-FA - 3 PIXS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152947.html

LEOPARD AND WATER BUFFALO FIGHT! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/152953.html

STRANGE SINKHOLE SWALLOWS ROAD & PARKING LOT - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/152973.html

STRANGE OCEAN SAILING - ROLEX REGATTA RACING - 5 - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/152988.html

STRANGE TORNADOES & WATERSPOUTS - MULTIPLE WATERSPOUTS! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/152994.html

STRANGE IRISH PUB - BAR - CAFE - EVERYTHING! THEY NEED MORE SIGNS! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/153004.html

STRANGE CAMOUFLAGE TANKS - SPECIAL OUTER COVERINGS - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/153007.html

A DAY AT THE DRAG RACES! - ENGINE FIRE - EXPLOSION - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/153047.html

STRANGE LIGHTNING STRIKE - CASTLE TOWER - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152998.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - MICHAEL JACKSON - JANET - THE WACKO JACKSON FAMILY

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/71_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Golf Commentary- David Feherty & Gary McCord - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/152829.html

The World's Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/153117.html

How Much Is the World's Most Expensive Chess Set? - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/153118.html

What Was the Most Expensive Private Musical Performance in the World? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/153119.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - STEALTH - AIRPLANES - SHIPS - SECRET EQUIPMENT - BLACK OPS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/100686_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "SUBJECT LINE CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF CELEBRITY FATALITIES"

This Week:
* VIDEO - Knut's tribute to Jacko
* DAILY MAIL - What should you be scared of now?
* CHALLENGE - Draw Hitler

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web... together"

B3ta email 386 - 10 Jul 2009

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue386/

Submarine: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubmarine: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
LONDON By Charlie Dark

A kaleidoscopic rundown of the city, as seen
through the eyes of Producer/DJ Charlie Dark
and his fellow visionaries.
http://w00tpublishers.wootmedia.net/delivery/ck.php?zoneid=1023

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Vaginas, Jacko & The Daily Fail

>> He bite my vagina <<
"Hi mate," beams a bullish Joel Veitch. "We
made a musical remix mashupy thing of that lady
whose dog bit her in the vagina." BTW: Have we
ever mentioned we once woke up with our cat
licking our penis?
http://www.rathergood.com/bite

>> Kunt's tribute to Jacko <<
We love Kunt & The Gang, his name alone makes
us fans. He has zilch chance of mainstream
acceptance as you can't even say his name
without offending. Indeed, checking his website
the only press he appears to get is in rubbish
porn mags like Fiesta, oh, and us of course.
His latest creation is a personal take on the
death of MJ. Please stick with it as it's
rather wonderful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wphWwW8npEY

>> Dailymail fear mash-up <<
Last week we asked for you to make, "Doomwatch
- a site which counts fear words eg 'Swine
Flu', 'Terrorism'... from the day's news and
charts what to be most scared of today." Tinlad
answered our prayer, "Doomwatch pulls in the
news feed from the Daily Mail, counts the fear
words, and lets you know exactly what you
should be worrying about today, with convenient
graphical representations of the size of the
bricks you should be shitting," he explains.
You can also point it at other news sites of
your choice.
http://www.mydarkmaterials.co.uk/doom/

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Tramps

Last week we asked for your hobo stories. Go
on, go laugh at the unfortunates. Then feel a
bit bad after reading Evil Lu's nice list of
things you can do to help. Then laugh again to
make yourself feel better. We know you too well:
http://b3ta.com/questions/tramps/

* EL DUDERINO - "Key West, 2001. I met The Dude.
He was the absolute dead ringer for Lebowski. He
looked like Jeff Bridges, he sounded like Jeff
Bridges. He was a fucking rock star. I sat and got
as high as a fucking kite with him and his hobo
friends: The man who made hats out of palm leaves
and looked like he was carved out of mahogany;
the man gave out cards for the strip club; and
the man who hustled tourists at pool. I supplied
the booze, they supplied the dope. The Dude didn't
even get pissed off with me when I asked him if
he'd seen The Big Lebowski, "Man, do I look like
I own a video player? Where would I even plug
it in?" Later on, I was sat on the edge of a wall,
looking over the water watching the famous Key
West sunset, when I heard, "Scarpe! Dude! Good
to see you, man!" being yelled at me. From the
water. As The Dude went sailing past in a bath
tub with an outboard motor attached to the back,
waving at me like a mad man. Dude, I salute you,
you were fucking awesome. May your bath float on
forever." (scarpe)

* BRUCE LEE - "I was standing on the escalator
to the tube behind a traditional, 'fun'-type
tramp, with matted ginger hair down to his waist.
In front of him were two Japanese teenagers.
They had matching yellow rucksacks on so they
must have been on some kind of school trip.
The tramp started going, "Arr soor! Aaaar soooor,
I'm Bruce Lee!" and karate chopping the air.
I was cringing at this basic, racist humour,
until one of the boys turned around, waggled
his fingers at him and said, "Arr soooor! I'm
Mick Hucknall." (browser)

* ROGER HODGSON - "I walked past a homeless guy
and he started singing 'when I was young I
thought that life was so logical...' I said,
'That's supertramp.' He said 'Thanks very
much.'"
(dolly gobshite)

>> This Week's Question <<
Gyms are evil places dedicated to extracting
fat, sweat... and your cash. Talk to us here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/gyms/

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINKY-POOS NUMBER TWOS
Model for POLICE. Go on. Give it a try

Style brand POLICE are famous for their print
advertisements. Previously they've used David
Beckham wearing their sunglasses whilst covered
in baby oil, and this year they want to use
YOU. Yes, dear internet, they want YOU to
upload a photo of your lovely self and you
might be picked to be the face of their
campaigns for 2010. The site is actually
quite fun in a hot-or-not kind of way, and
they're looking for people who look "unique"
so a few b3tans in the mix might do the trick.
http://www.police-beyounique.com/Faces/Faces.aspx

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Crap magazine top tips <<
Beyond parody really - here's a collection of
real top tips found in the pikey magazines like
Chat. Frankly we think the mags are taking the
piss and run them for a laugh anyway. Best one?
"Don't like chocolate? Try my 'cheese eggs'.
Simply roll Babybels into an egg shape and
serve. Delicious." BTW: If any readers (Hello
CCC) fancy making some up and trying to get 'em
printed then we'd love to hear about it.
http://heroofswitzerland.blogspot.com/search/label/Top%20Tips


>> The Annotated Weekender <<
The Guardian's Weekend magazine is the glossy
bit that you traditionally read in a local cafe
on Saturday morning whilst planning an exciting
weekend ahead. This week you and your partner
should competitively scribble on it and see if
you can out-amuse these guys. Something to do
anyway.
http://theannotatedweekender.blogspot.com/

>> Babes of the BNP <<
Great idea for an article - find some
ever-so-slightly-gammy lady members of the BNP
and interview them about their abhorrent views.
Actually, we think the BNP provide a useful
service - they're a minority that the
middle-classes can give a good kicking to
without feeling guilt, much like how council
folk love nothing better than setting fire to a
paedophile. More self-selecting groups that
it's ok to hate please; it's what comedy needs.
http://www.viceland.com/wp/2009/07/babes-of-the-bnp/

>> Photoshopping black people <<
Advertising imagery sometimes needs to reflect
cultural diversity but if the designer hasn't
got an appropriate photo to hand, photoshop can
be used to place a black person in shot.
Witness the magic when cultural awkwardness
meets technical cack-handedness. There's lols
in them there hills.
http://snurl.com/werenotracistwerejustcrap

>> Bing vs Google <<
You have to hand it to Microsoft - they don't
give up. They've been completely shit at search
for years but finally they produce Bing, and
it's OK. It's no game-changer but if they force
enough people to use it by embedding it into
Internet Explorer etc. then they've got a
chance of maybe... not beating Google. But
certainly Yahoo should be worried. Or so
current received wisdom says - and yet when we
use this tool to compare them side by side -
for our money - Google is still the clear
winner. It's the extras like folding in the
news search that really make it for us.
However, try for yourself. It's fun sticking
your own name in anyway.
http://www.bing-vs-google.com/?q=%22rob+manuel%22

-------------------------------------------------

: US EDITION OF JOKE BOOK ANNOUNCED
Don't all flock to the shops at once

About a year ago a publisher got in touch
asking to republish the joke book in America -
largely for the book club market. A side-effect
of this, is that it's now available for the
first time on Amazon.com. However they've
changed the title (which I quite like) and the
cover (not so sure about.) Anyway, it's all a
bit odd writing this up as I haven't even seen
a real copy, and only know that it's finally
for sale because it came up in a Google search.
But there you go. Buy it, America. Buy it now.
http://snurl.com/everytimeyouclickafairydies

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Rainstorm kitten

B3tan Kim found this poor, little mite sitting
in the gutter in the pouring rain. If you live
in Shanghai and are looking for a cat... this
could be your lucky day.
http://www.olivepixel.com/misc/kitten/

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like TV but smaller and with no remote control

>> Augmented reality <<
Bloody hell. This is the future! Hold your
iPhone up and this app'll stick little labels
on the view to direct you to the nearest Tube
station. It's like being the Terminator -
freaking awesome!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fZk0HaIs4s

>> How to open a banana <<
Not funny, just useful. We've been doing it
wrong our whole lives. Sigh. All those wasted
years...
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ive_been_doing_it_wrong

>> Henry Rollins techno <<
The great man's anti-techno rant remixed into
dance music. Also features the inspiring
choreography of Techno Viking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf13MmZIcLs

>> Fly-powered plane <<
Bearded inventor chap finds a way to make a
fly... fly. By supergluing it to a tiny model
plane. Erm...
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Fly_powered_plane

>> Michael Jackson interview <<
Fry and Laurie's Michael Jackson interview from
yesteryear. The great man answers questions
from his critics and performs his latest single.
http://b3ta.com/links/A_rare_interview_with_Michael_Jackson

>> Duke Nukem's Disease <<
Touching documentary about a man whose motor
skills are those of a character from a first
person shooter game. Maybe one day there will
be a cure.
http://b3ta.com/links/FPS_disease_is_a_terrible_affliction

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Actually a name for once, rather than a cock

* SNAPPY SNAPS - Andrew writes, "I found this
interestingly-named photographer's on London
Road in Sheffield." Bet this guy is great at
taking the money shot.
http://naxtek.com/general/smp.jpg

* MIS-USING GPS - Kudos to mrkeithmartin who,
using his GPS watch managed to draw this
impressive route on the satellite map. Ah, back
to the cocks.
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/6033208

-------------------------------------------------

: BONUS B3TARDS
More stuff made by our webby chums

* JEREMY CLARKSON IN A MICROWAVE - Short but
satisfying outing for Cyriak.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Jeremy_Clarkson_in_a_microwave

* ENJOYABLE SPOOF NEWS SITE - yeah yeah, we
know. But Duncan McKenzie actually made us
laugh - a rare enough occurrence.
http://dailyweek.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Pirates Challenge

Last week we had a one-word challenge: Pirates.

Your favourites included:

* PIRATES - that bit at the beginning of films,
in reality (sepang)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9557682

* PI RAT - does what it says on the tin more
precisely than anything, ever (VieuxConAigri)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9557275

* PARITY - USB pirate parrot pun (Captn
Hood-Butter)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9557630

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/pirates/

>> New challenge: Draw Hitler <<
This week we're are ordering a drawing
competition. You must use pens, pencils,
crayons, blood, anything really, but you have
to draw Hitler.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/drawingsofhitler/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* SICKINEWS - "I put this together in response
to your last newsletter," explains
Linusmartensson. "It throws whatever words are
Capitalized in a news title into a search query
and burps out the top result from sickipedia."
It's a little random but the better for that.
http://secretweb.org/sickinews

* IMAGINE DAWKINS - "You said you wanted a Richard
Dawkins version of 'Imagine'," blames Fat Boab.
"Well, here it is. With added Hawkings."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReFRV94YAr8

* IS 9.5HRs NETBOOK FOR REAL? - last week we
promised we'd test this out, we took it on a
train up north and it managed the 3hrs up and
the 3hrs back just fine, but was just about
running out by the end. So we reckon 6.5hrs is
a more likely estimate considering ordinary use
of some internet, some video watching and some
word processing. Still, not bad - certainly
longer than any other laptop we've used. Linky
goes to Amazon should you have a spare £300 you
want to spunk in Amazon's clicky face.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B001UE8LAG/b3ta-21


-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* TWHITLER.COM - a slice of Twitter than only
displays mentions of Hitler - they're often
rather interesting. A current peek reveals the
great quote, "without Hitler, there'd be no
british comedy"
http://search.twitter.com/search?q=Hitler


* PEOPLE DRESSED AS HITLER.COM - mainly as
we've just started typing Hitler into search
engines and look what's popped out: a lovely
young lady who we'd like to get to Third Reich
with.
http://snurl.com/hitlerbabyonemoretime

* CAN'T THINK OF A THIRD HITLER SITE - so over
to MadAdamUk who suggests, "As summer is coming
up, could some b3ta boffin figure out which
solution is more efficient in terms of cooling
AND energy bills; An average tower fan on all
day or a portable air-con unit for say 3-4
hours over the course of a day."

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by via Coin Operated
Boy, Occulus, Beejay, RBF esquire, Mme Bing .
Additional linkage and image challenge by
Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subyline via barryheadwound.

-------------------------------------------------

SICKIPEDIA:

The keen-eyed will noticed that Sickipedia as
attracted its first advertiser. In four years
nobody, but nobody would touch it with a shitty
stick. Despite being a popular site - approx 6
million page views per month - people are wary
of associating their products with bad taste
jokes.

So welcome Jamrags.com - a clothing company
that understands that it's just a bunch of
jokes. Well they should, as their business
model is to stick similarly offensive slogans
on their own t-shirts.

BTW: We're wondering if Prince Harry is a fan
of Sickipedia? A recent Daily Mail quotes a
friend of TV presenter Caroline Flack as
saying, "Harry is very funny and texts her
jokes all the time from an internet site he's
found."

Anyway. You want a joke - props to Milenko for
this pithy one-liner, "RAPE. Small word, long
sentence."
http://www.sickipedia.org/

__._,_.___

Messages in this topic (1) Reply (via web post) | Start a new topic

Messages | Photos

Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

Recent Activity

•  45
  New Members

Visit Your Group

Give Back

Yahoo! for Good

Get inspired

by a good cause.

Y! Toolbar

Get it Free!

easy 1-click access

to your groups.

Yahoo! Groups

Start a group

in 3 easy steps.

Connect with others.

.

__,_._,___

Vol 814 - July 08, 2009 - Strange Facts From Fly-over Country for East & West Coast Elite Snobs

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

OVER 10,000 GREAT OLDE PICTURES AND IMAGES DATING BACK TO
THE FIRST PICTURES EVER TAKEN - HISTORY - WILD WEST - WORLD WARS
OLDE SPORTS - HEROES & VILLAINS - AUTOS & SHIPS - RAILROADS - A-BOMBS
WEAPONS - OLDE MEDICAL EQUIPMENT - OLDE ADVERTISING - OLDE MOVIE STARS
SILENT PICTURES - STARLETS - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - TRAVEL

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

"If you're there before it's over, you're on time." - James Walker

"Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs." - Miss Piggy

"Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon." - Jilly Cooper

"Never purchase beauty products in a hardware store." - Miss Piggy

"Drugs have nothing to do with the creation of music. In fact, drugs are dumb and self-indulgent. Kind of like sucking your thumb." - Courtney Love

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Facts From Fly-over Country for East & West Coast Elite Snobs

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross into states such as Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska, the Tourism Councils in those states have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Midwesterner's mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter the states.

1. That slope-shouldered farm body did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road". No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we shot Bambi, we got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped...by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us when a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13 inch trout you fish for - "bait".

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an Idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That's right, whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So, you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use four weeks a year.

12. Let's get it straight. We have one stop light in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish, carp too - and turtle. Your really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 69 goes two ways. State Road 24 goes the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.

16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

19. That Officer, be it Conservation Officer, sheriff deputy, city police, or highway patrol that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot - his name is "Sir".

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE HORSE RACE - HORSE VS BICYCLE RACERS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/151893.html

STRANGE BIRDS, FOWL AND FEATHERS! - COLORFUL BIRD FINDS A SCORPION FOR LUNCH! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/151944.html

THE FABULOUS 50'S - FROM FLATHEADS TO FINS! - 1956 STUDEBAKER - GOLDEN HAWK - 2 DR - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/152206.html

STRANGE SAINA HOUSE MODEL - LONG STEPS - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/152367.html

STRANGE WORLD OF LIZARDS - A CREEPING TOM! - HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE? - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/152523.html

STRANGE ALPHABET VIA GOOGLE EARTH! ALL NATURAL - (SORT OF) - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/152527.html

OLDE PIXS - BRUCE WILLIS - ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER & SYLVESTER STYLONE! - YOUNG! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/152796.html

THE WORLDS FIRST SURVIVING AERIAL PHOTOGRAPH - BOSTON FROM A BALLOON 1860 - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/152811.html

STRANGE HILL OF CROSSES IN LITHUANIA - 1 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/152145.html

SURFING DANGERS! - HUGE WAVES - BIG THRILLS - BIG WIPE OUTS! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/151880.html

STRANGE CROWDED BEACH IN S. KOREA - 2 - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/152329.html

STRANGE "THUNDERCAT" INFLATABLE BOAT RACES - NEW ZEALAND - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/152659.html

STRANGE CUSTOM SUBMARINE (SUPER FALCON) FOR SUPER YACHT MALTESE FALCON - MINI VERSION - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/152665.html

STRANGE BIRDS, FOWL AND FEATHERS! - STRANGE PALS - KITTEN AND PARAKEET! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/151950.html

STRANGE MERCEDES BENZ SLR - GOLD TRIM! - SIDE VIEW - DOOR OPEN - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/152569.html

STRANGE MERCEDES BENZ - CROCODILE PAINT JOB! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152572.html

STRANGE BIRDS, FOWL AND FEATHERS! - STRANGE LITTLE OWL FAMILY! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/151948.html

ROLL ROYCE CABRIO CONVERTIBLE - SIDE VIEW - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/152298.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - RAILROAD TRAINS - LOCOMOTIVES - TRACKS - ACCIDENTS - ENGINEERS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100637_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Famous Firsts of the 1920's - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152816.html

Idiot Questions Why Luke Air Force Base Pilots Make So Much Noise - Amazing Response! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152849.html

Strange Famous Firsts of the 2000's - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/152817.html

Adult Learning Center - Summer Classes for Women - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/152826.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - STRANGE RELIGION PICTURES - MOSLEM - HINDU - CATHOLIC - JEW - PROTESTANT

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/100284_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 813 - July 05, 2009 - Strange Hospital Chart Notations

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

OVER 10,000 GREAT OLDE PICTURES AND IMAGES DATING BACK TO
THE FIRST PICTURES EVER TAKEN - HISTORY - WILD WEST - WORLD WARS
OLDE SPORTS - HEROES & VILLAINS - AUTOS & SHIPS - RAILROADS - A-BOMBS
WEAPONS - OLDE MEDICAL EQUIPMENT - OLDE ADVERTISING - OLDE MOVIE STARS
SILENT PICTURES - STARLETS - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - TRAVEL

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes About Children and Parenting:

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. (David Frost)

Any astronomer can predict with absolute accuracy just where every star in the universe will be at 11.30 tonight. He can make no such prediction about his teenage daughter. (James T. Adams)

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. (Jim Bishop)

Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off. (Ralph Bus)

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. (Bob Phillips)

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.' (Joe Namath)

There are three ways to get something done; do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it. (Mona Crane)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Hospital Chart Notations

Strange Hospital Chart Notations

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

The skin was moist and dry.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

The patient was prepped and raped in the usual manner.

Examination reveals a well-developed male laying in bed with his family in no distress.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

She is numb from her toes down.

Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

While in the emergency room, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE LIMOUSINES - QUEEN OF ENGLAND - 1959 CADILLAC FLEETWOOD 'BUBBLE TOP' ARRIVES AT AIRPORT- QUEEN ELIZABETH & PHILIP - CANADA TOUR - JUNE 1959 - 2 - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/152126.html

STRANGE BIRDS, FOWL AND FEATHERS! - COOL RED, GREEN AND BLUE BIRD - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/151943.html

STRANGE STREAMLINED PROPELLER DRIVEN SEDAN - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/151735.html

1903 WORLD SERIES - SOUVENIR CARD - BOSTON AMERICANS vs PITTSBURG PIRATES - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/152238.html

DANGEROUS SPORTS - MOTORCYCLE RACING! - DIRT TRACK CHAOS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/152272.html

STRANGE CASTLE ON THE SHORELINE - WHAT A VIEW! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/152370.html

RICH BOY'S TOYS - STRANGE EXPENSIVE SPORTS CAR - BACK RACK FOR CHAMPAGNE! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/152568.html

STRANGE "THUNDERCAT" INFLATABLE BOAT RACES - NEW ZEALAND - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/152650.html

STRANGE OPTICAL ILLUSION - THE BLUE COLOR IS ACTUALLY GREEN! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/152669.html

STRANGE RELIGIOUS ITEMS AROUND THE WORLD - STRANGE MADONNA IMAGE ON BUILDING WINDOW - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/152679.html

STRANGE EURO FIGHTER JET! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152732.html

STRANGE LITTLE CHINESE ELECTRIC CAR - 2009 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/152736.html

STRANGE SAILBOAT AT SEA TRYING TO DODGE HUGE WINDMILLS! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/152738.html

STRANGE RECLINING BIG FOOTED BUDDHA - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152740.html

STRANGE WILD FIRE WHIRLS AND MINI TORNADOES! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/152742.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN MILITARY JET - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152744.html

STRANGE OLDE PIXS - MARYLAND - DOME GAS STATION 1926 - NOTE $.23 GAS PRICE! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/152746.html

LIGHTNING STRIKES GIANT JESUS STATUE IN BRAZIL - CORCOVADO MOUNTAIN PEAK - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/152747.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SF - B - FARM BUILDINGS - BARNS - SILOS - CHICKEN COOPS - STABLES

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/100745_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Use of Insects in Wars Throughout History - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/152277.html

Strange 'ONE-LINERS' - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/152626.html

Strange Famous Firsts of the 1930's - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/152815.html

The Strange Story of Abandoned Schoolhouse in Calgary, Albert - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/152818.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SF - G - FARM ANIMALS - CRITTERS - GOOD & BAD - RABBITS - BUNNIES - FOX - COYOTE - MISC.

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/100758_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "Thatcher - Hurry up and die so we can have a new image challenge"

This Week:
* ANIM - Jacko's secret basement
* READ - Emails from an asshole
* VID - "I'm pissing on your car"

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're shitting
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| glass... together"

B3ta email 385 - 3 Jul 2009

Proofread this issue:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue385/

Daddy: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
'Uncle': b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
9.5hrs Battery life netbook

Haven't got an ad this week - buggeration - so
thought we'd link to Amazon to get some
referral pennies. Here's the netbook we've just
ordered, seduced by a 'wisdom of crowds' theory
that we'd just get the one that's selling the
best at the moment. If it lives up to its
promises of 9.5hrs battery life, it'll be
fantastic. Next week we'll report back on
whether it's a sack of shit or not.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B001UE8LAG/b3ta-21

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Jacko, Piss and God

>> Michael Jackson's secret basement <<
What ghastly secrets lie hidden in Wacko
Jacko's mouldering cellar? Brian Mung
investigates.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Michael_Jacksons_secret_basement

>> Grey Bloke finds God <<
The monochrome net-nerd seeks religious
reassurance from an online preacher, with mixed
results. A tale told by madridiot, full of
sound and fury and signifying.. uh, something.
http://snurl.com/grey_blokey

>> I'm pissing on your car <<
Ginger Fuhrer Rob spent Wednesday making this
joyous song and urinating on his neighbour's
Jeep in the name of ART. The voice of an angel
and the bladder of a puffer-fish.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Im_Pissing_On_Your_Car

* ALSO JACKO FLASHMOB - How I started it by
accident, also by Rob, your newsletter Hitler,
who can stick two links of his own at the top
if he fancies it.
http://snurl.com/tehwords

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Buses

Buses are great. It's the drivers that are the
problem - as Emadex's story of a dead passenger
that got dumped at a bus stop makes clear:
http://b3ta.com/questions/buses/

* TICKETS - "Shouting from the front of the bus,
disturbs my iPod listening. A mid-20s girl sat
next to a young black man was shouting typical
(for this part of Europe at least) fairly racist
remarks: enquiring whether he could in fact
fornicate with himself and requesting that he
does indeed 'go back to the jungle.' This poor
man was sitting there, not making a sound, looking
straight ahead and not reacting. Meanwhile the
inspector gets on and starts asking for tickets.
People hold them out, ready to show that all is
paid and proper, whereupon the young black
gentleman snatches the shouty lady's ticket from
her hand, eats it, and then carries on staring
straight ahead. She went mental. What's more,
explaining to the inspector that her ticket had
been eaten just got her thrown of the bus for
being a nutter..."
(Bababoon)

* WHEELS - They go round and round apparently:
"A couple of rows in front of me on a packed bus
was a mum balancing her shopping on her lap. Her
little kid was standing next to her and singing
loudly. The only song she knew was The Wheels on
the Bus. Worse, she only knew one verse. Which
she repeated again and again and again. By the
23rd time this was more than slightly irritating.
So mum turned to her daughter and asked her to
sing something else. Daughter stopped, thought
for a second, and then comes out with, "Bodyform.
Bodyform for YOUUUUUUUUU!" The whole bus laughed
and the mum went red in the face."
(lordofallhesurveys)

* TOP DECK - "I like sitting in the front seats
on the top deck, holding the rail under the
window, pretending I'm hand-gliding very slowly
around London."
(Numma Supplies)

>> This Week's Question <<
Gather around the burning oil-drum and tell us
your hobo-tales:
http://b3ta.com/questions/tramps/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Echo Nest rocks bells <<
Put a donk on it? That more cowbell thing? All
these websites springing up that allow you to
muck around with audio have one thing in common
- they're using Echo Nest, a way of using
computer code to cut up beats and re-order them
in a musical fashion. This is big. This is
awesome, and the linky goes to a clever
chappie using the technology to cut up Black
Eyed Peas' "Boom Boom Pow".
http://musicmachinery.com/2009/06/21/wheres-the-pow/

>> There, I fixed it! <<
In what can only be an attempt to get a book
deal, earn some Adsense pennies or just become
as "famous as the failblog" comes this
collection of really dreadful repairs. We're
only being cynical because we're suddenly
regretting not having a job in publishing and
thinking how easy our lives would be - just
keeping an ear to the net and repurposing
anything that has obvious mass appeal.
http://thereifixedit.com/

>> Portraits of nails <<
Speaking of such - wouldn't these photos of
bent nails in amazingly human poses make a
great little picture book? It has charm, and
could be piled up by the counters without
risk of offending anyone.
http://www.designswan.com/archives/the-story-of-nail-art.html

>> Amusing Pringles banner ad <<
Back when the only entertainment online was a
bear that shat prime numbers, there was a site,
just a few lines of javascript, that produced
endless OK/Cancel dialogue boxes with amusing
text like, "are you bored yet?" and "but you
can't stop clicking can't you?" Looks like the
agency producing ad banners for Pringles have
as long a memory for this crap as us. BTW:
Over ten years Pringles have reduced their
packs from about 200g to 150g. True fact. We
read it in this month's issue of Wired UK.
http://awardshome.com/cannes2009/pringles/can-hands.html

>> Periodic Table of Typefaces <<
If you work in a design agency, and we know at
least 2% of our readers know people who do,
then here's your new wallpaper.
http://snurl.com/drinkingfromthefontycup

>> "Emails from an asshole" <<
Proving once and for all that all comedy needs
a victim comes this collection of wind-up emails
sent in response to classified ads. We ended up
reading quite a few and then remembered we
needed the bog.
http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
For those scared of clicking

>> Billie Tweets <<
Clever montage of twitter comments accompany
and spell the lyrics to Michael Jackson's
Billie Jean video. Someone clever needs to
write a script that'll do this for any youTube
video that has captions.
http://billietweets.com/

>> Springwatch Smiths references <<
Nature programme presenter Chris Packham
secretly tried to slip a Smiths reference into
every show. Here they all are edited together.
You're probably expecting us to put a Smiths
gag in here, but that joke isn't funny anymore.
http://b3ta.com/links/Springwatch_smiths_references

>> Jacko fail <<
As the web continues to be dominated by Jacko
news, here's an advert for his now-cancelled O2
concerts. Can't say too much more without
ruining it.
http://snurl.com/rolluprollup

>> Freak-out kid Japanese remix <<
Lols a-plenty for those who appreciated last
week's spack-out by a teen World of Warcraft
addict. Jaunty Nintendo-style tune accompanies
some edited highlights of his overwrought
capering.
http://b3ta.com/links/Freak_out_kid_Japanese_remix

>> Ducks go up the down escalator <<
Waterfowl once again demonstrate why Man is the
master of the planet. The fucking idiots.
http://b3ta.com/links/Ducks_go_up_the_down_escalator

>> Cat madness <<
Bewildering, high-speed montage of classic
feline lols. Subliminal message: Your cat wants
some biscuits.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuOpWeQw05Q

>> Web Side Story <<
Witty sketch combining the twin pleasures of
musical theatre and criticising the internet.
Pleasure your inner gay nerd.
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1913584

>> Multi-webcam music vid <<
Extraordinarily clever music video filmed on
multiple video-chat feeds then collaged
together to very pleasing effect. No idea what
the song is about tho. Probably grooming
children online.
http://b3ta.com/links/This_is_extraordinary

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Cock buildings

"Instead of a CDC (crudely drawn cock) logo,"
writes Ericezza, how about a CBC (cleverly
built cock) complete with full balls? As
photographed by me on Gracechurch Street,
London."
http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/4086/image112afb.jpg

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Posh Challenge

Last week we wanted you to make everything posh.

Your favourites included:

* SHANNON - everyone's favourite chav princess
gets b3tarded (Wet chinned bag-shanker)
http://b3ta.com/board/9542553

* CHORTLE - the Chuckle Brothers, upgraded
(Bobby Bob Bob)
http://b3ta.com/board/9546723

* EAGLE - a bird of prey, with added spiffiness
(Panjandrum)
http://b3ta.com/board/9542246

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/posh/

>> New challenge: Pirates <<
PIRATES. It's time for one of B3ta's famous one
word challenges. Piracy is in the news at the
moment with the sale of The Pirate Bay and the
sea-bound Somalian pirates - so there's scope
to interpret this however you wish.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/pirates/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* LAMINATING BACON - "Back in the day, I was
invited round this girl's house," explains
DanBangBang. "Her mum was out, perfect
conditions for teenage fumblings. However, when
I got into her room I was distracted by the
massive laminator on her desk.

"'My Dad gave it me for Christmas,' she
explained glumly. 'He works for an office
supply shop, he's an arsehole'. Yes, we tried
to laminate and simultaneously cook bacon. The
plastic sheets don't really get airtight, the
bacon semi-cooks, there's a lot of noise and a
horrible smell. Hope this helps."

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include:

* DOOMWATCH - "A site which counts fear words
eg 'Swine Flu', 'Terrorism'... from the day's
news and charts what to be most scared of
today." (via @ricomonkeon)

* SICKINEWS - "A page that correlates trending
news events with jokes about that event on
Sickipedia." (via @chthonicionic)

* URBANPOON - "An iPhone app that lets you
quickly find hookers by location, price and
ethnicity." (via @millwallant)

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:

This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Choc Ice, Seventh,
Gingey, Mighty Nibus, oller, Kung_Fu_Russ,
badge, waz4444, Wingnutt, Ryan Giggs' Bald
Spot. Additional linkage and image challenge by
Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols via Ad7.

-------------------------------------------------

Yesterday, I came home early from work and
found my wife cheating. The lazy bitch has
hired a cleaner.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

__._,_.___

Messages in this topic (1) Reply (via web post) | Start a new topic

Messages | Photos

Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

Recent Activity

•  41
  New Members

Visit Your Group

Give Back

Yahoo! for Good

Get inspired

by a good cause.

Y! Toolbar

Get it Free!

easy 1-click access

to your groups.

Yahoo! Groups

Start a group

in 3 easy steps.

Connect with others.

.

__,_._,___

Vol 811 - June 28, 2009 - Strange Questions That Will Always Remain Unanswered

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

OVER 10,000 GREAT OLDE PICTURES AND IMAGES DATING BACK TO
THE FIRST PICTURES EVER TAKEN - HISTORY - WILD WEST - WORLD WARS
OLDE SPORTS - HEROES & VILLAINS - AUTOS & SHIPS - RAILROADS - A-BOMBS
WEAPONS - OLDE MEDICAL EQUIPMENT - OLDE ADVERTISING - OLDE MOVIE STARS
SILENT PICTURES - STARLETS - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - TRAVEL

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

"Hi I'm Dean White, Dick, of the college." - Richard (Dick) White, Duke University academic Dean introducing himself at a faculty dinner.

"Danger Slow Men At Work" - Road sign in Brunei

"Permitted vehicles not allowed." - Road sign on US 27

"There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964." - Roger Daltrey, Singer/Actor

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces." - Ron Atkinson

"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." - Ron Atkinson

"Bruce Sutter has been around for awhile and he's pretty old. He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is." - Ron Fairley, Giants broadcaster

"The French are not normally a Nordic Skiing Nation." - Ron Pickering

"Watch the time -it gives you an indication of how fast they are running." - Ron Pickering

"He's passe. Nobody cares about Mickey anymore. There are whole batches of Mickeys we just can't give away. I think we should phase him out." - Roy Disney, Walt Disney's brother, 1937

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Questions That Will Always Remain Unanswered.

1. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

4. Is there another word for synonym?

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"

6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

16. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE JAPANESE CUSTOM VANS - CRAZY SOUND SYSTEM - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/150780.html

SURFING DANGERS! - HUGE WAVES - BIG THRILLS - BIG WIPEOUTS! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/151876.html

STRANGE SOCCER PLAYERS AND ACTION - FLYING SCISSOR KICK! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/151724.html

STRANGE OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - TWO FACES - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/150406.html

1904-05 NATIONAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONS TEAM PICTURE - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/152237.html

AMAZING SILVER TEMPLE IN INDIA - COOL - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/152369.html

LUCKY MILLIONAIRE FINDS A CUTE BLONDE - CAN YOU BELIEVE THE LUCK? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152560.html

STRANGE THUNDERCLOUD - LIGHTNING - AMAZING DIAGRAM AND DETAILS / EXAMPLES - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/152628.html

STRANGE FISH WITH TRANSPARENT HEAD! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/152639.html

FRESH WATER FISH FUN - STRANGE LITTLE FISH WITH FEET! - http://www.strangeZOO.com/content/item/152213.html

STRANGE RELIGIOUS ITEMS AROUND THE WORLD - STRANGE GOD/JESUS ROBOT - http://www.strangePERSONS.com/content/item/152674.html

FARRAH FAWCETT - THE FAMOUS POSTER - http://www.strangeCOSMOS.com/content/item/15618.html

MICHAEL JACKSON - STRANGE CERAMIC FIGURINE OF MONKEY & MICHAEL! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/3747.html

STRANGE TREE HOUSE - IT'S HUGE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152720.html

STRANGE AERIAL PHOTO OF UNIVERSAL STUDIOS 40 ACRES BACKLOT - 1965 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/152721.html

STRANGE SKYDIVING COMBO - MALE, FEMALE AND DOG! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/152722.html

STRANGE MILITARY HELICOPTER LINEUP - SCARY TEETH! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/152723.html

STRANGE VIOLIN PLAYER AND STRANGE MUSIC CRITIC! - PICTURE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152724.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - Strange Products - Gimmicks - Items - Inventions

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/100475_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Personality Test - What Cartoon Character are You? - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/21707.html

The "Doo-Wop" Oldies Quiz - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/127112.html

Olde 'Burma Shave' Roadway Signs! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/128798.html

Strange Uses For 'Bounce" Dryer Sheets - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/108809.html

- Playing Wyth Wurds - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/25221.html

-Top 50 OXYMORON'S - http://www.strangeFUNKIDZ.com/content/item/24844.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - FARRAH FAWCETT

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/category/100117_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "FARRAH WHO?"

This Week:
* MEAT COCKTAILS - The Bacon Meatini
* VIDEO - Gamer kid spazz-out
* FUNNY NAME CORNER - Sadly, it's back

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web... together"

B3ta email 383 - 26 Jun 2009

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue383/

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsub: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
End of the world party

Praise "Bob!" The end's nigh! B3tan minister
Reverend Priest hosts "The End Of The World
Show." London, July 4th.
http://dalliance.net/xday2009/

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: OBLIGATORY JACKO INTRO

Right, as you know, the whole world has melted
down over the death of Michael Jackson, so we
best get that out of the way before the
newsletter proper.

* PHOTOSHOPS - we've open a special obituary
challenge so you can share your touching and
emotional gif-based tributes:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/michaeljackson/popular/

* MASS MOONWALK - we made a tentative
suggestion of a flash mob at 6pm in Liverpool
Street and Twitter exploded with extraordinary
enthusiasm. Thought we'd pop down though.
http://search.twitter.com/search?q=mass+moonwalk

* SICKIPEDIA - in traffic we've haven't seen
since Jade Goody died, you've all completely
crippled our sick joke site. Stop pressing F5
ok?

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Apparently Jacko is dead you know

>> The Meatini <<
"I have invented the MEATINI!" rejoices Joel
Veitch. "A full English fry-up in a cocktail
glass made of bacon!" The glass is quite
disturbing, as if serial killer Ed Gein had got
his tableware sold in John Lewis or something.
http://rathergood.com/841_Meatini

>> Celebrity odd <<
Create your own peculiar celebrity portraits
automatically, thanks to this handy toy by
"Info", mother nature's most enigmatic b3tard.
http://makeacelebrityodd.com/

>> Bathroom of the Future <<
Tomorrow's world of space hovercrafts,
household robots and such will make your
morning ablutions simpler and more pleasant. So
say the Secret 7000 in a scene remake from some
film we can't quite place, maybe The Island,
Minority Report or Gattaca we reckon.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_John_Wash

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
The Boss

What is it about running a company that makes
you think you are God? We asked for your tales
of mad psycho bosses. There's loads to read
here, but Crazy Steve sounds quite nice to us,
to be honest:
http://b3ta.com/questions/theboss/

Here's some short, funny stories dredged from
the long tales of bossy woe:

* CRAIG - "My boss has no social skills. In
addition to (or because of) this, he is also a
bit of a loud talker. One day I'm in my office
working away and I hear him looking for a
co-worker. "Hey Craig! Where's Craig?" He
starts walking down the hall, getting louder
each second. "Where's Craig?" I heard Craig's
voice, somewhat annoyed, but I couldn't make
out his words. The boss heard it too. "Craig?
Where the hell are you?" I heard Craig again,
and my boss replied at top volume, "In the
bathroom? What are you doing in the bathroom?"
I could hear the door to the bathroom open as
my boss went to investigate. He FINALLY figured
it out, the tard." (setimret)

* GARY - "I once got berated by the boss in
front of a customer for apparently ignoring her
tannoys. She was away with phrases like
'unprofessionalism', 'disciplinary' and 'taking
it higher'. I felt I had to say my piece. After
all I didn't ignore her, not on purpose anyway.
"Sorry but I didn't hear you." "I know fine
well you heard them, Gary. I've been calling
your name for five minutes now. I could see you
milling around at the other end of the store and
there's no problems with the tannoy over
there." "Erm...my name isn't Gary." The
customer laughed and she stormed off. Now
whenever I see her she makes an effort to drop
my correct name into the conversation at least
once." (Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock)

* IVAN - "My boss at my last proper job was an
enthusiastic, dedicated man who always did his
best to listen and respond to the concerns of
his workforce. Unfortunately, he had the voice
of Ivan Dobsky, the Meat- Safe Murderer. He may
have been talking about a new client design, or
a change in order quantities, but all I was
hearing was, "I never done it. I only said I
done it so they wouldn't give me another
jalfrezi enema..." (Concrete Cow)

Finally, we must bow down before Cockbrush for
this: "My last boss was a bit of a xenophobic
bigot, who didn't like people eating Turkish
Delight because it was a bit 'Muslim'. He even
put up a sign on the break room door: 'EAST
TREAT BANNED'"

>> This Week's Question <<
In a switch of one vowel, this week we're
moving from bosses to buses. Next week? Bizzies
- the police in Liverpool.
http://b3ta.com/questions/buses/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Non-existent invention blog <<
Dominic Wilcox has lots of ideas for inventions
and products. Too many, in fact, so he pours
them maniacally into a blog. Best one?
Chocolate biscuits with a handle for dunking.
If McVities brought this to production
tomorrow, they'd have every newspaper covering
it and every shop begging to stock them.
http://variationsonnormal.com/

>> Supermarket humiliation challenge <<
We once went to the supermarket and bought a
mars bar, the bloke we were with bought some
Vaseline (he had a split lip), but the
embarrassment of having these two items pass
over the scanner at the same time was
mind-bending. Looks like this NSFW site is onto
a similar idea with the Tickleberry Challenge,
a competition for submissive men that asks them
to buy three independently banal items from a
department store. The responses are both
pathetic and amusing.
http://www.tickleberry.co.uk/after-dark/tickleberry-challenge

>> A new optical Illusion <<
Our colour vision is shit - have you ever
seen our attempts at design? So we'll take it
on trust that this optical illusion works and
isn't just an almighty gag on the colour-blind.
Did we mention we're also paranoid?
http://snurl.com/colouredtricks

>> One million giraffes <<
In an attempt at a "build it and they will
come" type meme, the request for the internet
to draw one million giraffes has so far
produced about 4000 or so. Reckon they will
make it to the glorious one million giraffes?
It's a tall challenge, but they're neck and
neck etc etc.
http://onemilliongiraffes.com/

>> My Average Life <<
In what is presumably a sequel to fuckmylife,
comes a collection of messages on how, well
average people's lives are. It's deadpan, crowd
sourced observational comedy - not a sentence
we ever thought we'd write. Some of the more
amusing lines include:
* Today, I opened the fridge. There was nothing
I wanted to eat in there. After 15 minutes, I
opened it again. There still wasn't anything I
wanted to eat in there. MLIA
* Today, my teacher saw me texting under the
desk and grabbed my phone. She didn't grab my
penis. MLIA.
* Today, I decided to tan on the balcony. I
took my top off and my neighbor came out and
saw me. He's a guy. So am I. We greeted each
other. MyLifeIsAverage.
http://mylifeisaverage.com/

>> Water bottle panorama <<
In the first fully official Christina Aguilera
simulator, you play a genie trapped in a bottle
waiting to be "rubbed the right way." Or so we
like to imagine.
http://snurl.com/gottleofgeer

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Doomed animal friendships

"It's a baby sparrow-hawk with kittin," spluffs
Crystal Meth. "Made me go aaaah."
http://snurl.com/letsbefriends

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like you care. JACKO IS DEAD FFS.

>> Gamer kid spazz-out <<
Teenage boy shrieks and cavorts like a
chimpanzee, all because his mom banned him from
World of Warcraft. Hilarious/disturbing by
turns, we're kind of hoping it's fake. Fave bit
is at 1:40-ish.
http://snurl.com/toddlerspaz

>> Ninja Terminator funk <<
Following autotunethenews, an insane kung fu
movie gets similar treatment. Bonus points for
the choice of Thomas The Tank Engine theme
tune, which, if there is a Hell, is the music
that Satan himself plays every day.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ninja_Terminator_funk

>> Stop-motion guitar <<
Blokey edits together his guitar strumming to
make Mozart's 'Marriage of Figaro'. Although if
he'd wanted to win at the internet he should
have picked the theme to Knight Rider.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Stop_motion_guitar

>> Cat Lady movie <<
The crazy old lady with a hundred cats is a
running joke, but this documentary crew
followed several cat ladies around, with
interviews about what they felt they were
doing. Looks like a must-see movie. BTW: A
similar movie could be made about men with
their collections of old computers.
http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/cat-ladies/trailer

>> Darvaza: The Door to Hell <<
Some say it was caused by drilling for natural
gas in the 70s, some say oil in the 50s.
Whatever it was, it left a fucking massive pit
belching flame to the sky and it's been burning
non-stop for at least 38 years. And if you
listen closely it plays the Thomas The Tank
Engine theme.
http://snurl.com/lastepisodeofbuffy

>> Irresponsible Tio <<
Short but very sweet advice from 5 second
Films. God these guys rock.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Short_but_very_sweet

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Same rude words, slightly different order

* AIR FORCE POUNDS MILF - We saw a porno like
that once. More than once.
http://snurl.com/letshopetheymakeasequel

* LONGSTAFF & WANG - Pfft... How did those guys
end up working together?
http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1129304

* ROLO LOGO - What were they thinking of when
they designed it? Would you give anyone your
last titwank?
http://snurl.com/chocolatelove

* BOW LOCKS - Hurrah for east London canals!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bow_Locks

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Unlikely iPhone App Challenge

Last week we wanted you to build iPhones apps
Apple wouldn't approve of.

Your favourites included:

* CRIME - brilliantly clever iPhone app to help
victims of iPhone theft (The Hedgehog From Hell)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9527677

* FORCE - Obi Wan uses his iPhone to thwart the
Imperial Forces (Kris Fucking Kristofferson)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9528687

* ZOD - Superman's collection of iPhone apps
replaces the need for red Kryptonite (elbow)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9528822

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/iphone/

>> New challenge: Make Everything Posh <<
What with Royal Ascot and Wimbledon, the papers
are full of photos of posh people doing posh
things. But why should posh people get all the
fun? We say make everything posher.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/posh/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* "I'LL LISTEN TO IT IN THE CAR" - is a
put-down quote we ran last week from
Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood. Dufflouis writes
in, "I am a member of the band he was talking
about. We would like the honour of appearing in
the b3ta newsletter as well. Then you can all
listen to us in the car." Well, we don't
actually own a car, but we did listen to this
on our laptop and make brmmm brmmm noises. Ha -
quote that!
http://www.myspace.com/thedufflefolks

* ASK JO GUEST A QUESTION - B3tard
HoratioFellatio popped up on our board and
mentioned he was interviewing 90s glamour model
Jo Guest and asked B3tards for questions. In
the spirit of helping our, your Ginger Fuhrer
threw in a question but didn't really expect to
get so publicly name-checked. He's ever so
slightly embarrassed. NSFW.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1ojnAz969A

* SCORP'S VIKING FUNERAL - "Last week my pet
scorpion Clamps was found dead in his terrarium
after 10 happy years," weeps Wallaboing. "I
didn't want to just stick him in the ground, bin
him, or flush him, as people may do with other
household pets. It seemed a bit to inhumane, so
I thought back on his life, and decided on the
best send off i could think of - THE VIKING
FUNERAL! Knowing how the internet works, I
videoed it." Stirring stuff.
http://snurl.com/petfunerals

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
Captcha Invaders

You know those useless series of letters you
have to type to convince websites that you're
human? What if that was turned into a game?
Another lovely thing produced by E4 asking your
Ginger Fuhrer to get the b3tans to make games
for them. Thank Matt Round for this one - he
really is a spiffing chap.
http://www.e4.com/game/captcha-invaders/play.e4

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* RICHARD DAWKINS SINGING IMAGINE - cut up The
God Delusion audiobook to the lyrics of
Lennon's anti-religion hymn and, well, we're
not sure if this would be mocking or
celebrating Dawkins but we'd rather like to
hear it.

* LAMINATING BACON - Kaol would like to know if
it's possible to fry up a rasher in a
laminator. "I'm not stupid enough to try it
myself though," he assures us. Anyone?

* HORSE PISS, HORSE PISS! PSST! PSST! - a
mini-meme floating around B3ta towers at the
moment is singing these lyrics roughly to the
tune of The Ozmonds' Crazy Horses, whilst miming
pissing on everything. We can't actually be
arsed to produce this into a proper song and
video, but if someone else could do the job for
us? Cheers.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:

This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by malus_diabolus,
johncolchester, @mattround, Mr Alexander, CR3,
thunderfm, stuart.randell, pizzlepaps,
clivepenfold, thiswasmyclone, Mr Torture,
mockingbirdred. Monkeysport2000, Monocromatico,
Doogie Talons. Additional linkage and image
challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW
bloke. Subjlol via The Great Architect

-------------------------------------------------

Sickipedia is royally fucked at the moment as
the world and his dog is trying to post Jacko
jokes and our server can't take it. So as a
thankful change of pace Nimble Colin writes, "A
delightful newsletter-friendly joke I recently
heard: Q: How do you titillate an ocelot? A:
Oscillate its tit a lot."

__._,_.___

Messages in this topic (1) Reply (via web post) | Start a new topic

Messages | Photos

Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

Recent Activity

•  53
  New Members

Visit Your Group

Give Back

Yahoo! for Good

Get inspired

by a good cause.

Y! Toolbar

Get it Free!

easy 1-click access

to your groups.

Yahoo! Groups

Start a group

in 3 easy steps.

Connect with others.

.

__,_._,___