Vol 760 - Dec. 31, 2008 - Strange New Year - Funny Things Said by Police

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on
each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add
"Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on
the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange "Father Time" Quotes:

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz

Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. - Margaret Bonnano

Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. - Jorge Louis Borges

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. - Dion Boucicault

Oh Time! the beautifier of the dead, adorer of the ruin, comforter and only healer when the heart hath bled... Time, the avenger! - Lord Byron

One life - a little gleam of Time between two Eternities. - Thomas Carlyle

Take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves. - Lord Chesterfield

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Funny Things Said by Police

1. I'm sorry Ma'am, but with the unlicensed gun in your purse plus the DWI, you ARE a real criminal.

2. Hey John, get out of the cruiser and come over here to say "Thank You." We stopped the guy who pays OUR salary!

3. Yeah, I do have bank robbers to catch, but that might be dangerous, so I'm going to play it safe and write you this ticket.

4. Hurry it up? Sure, I'll just go back to the cruiser and write the citation. Do you have food and water in the car? This shouldn't take more than six hours.

5. Do you know why I stopped you, or do you THINK like you Drive?

6. What do you mean I won't believe you? Just because you've got three kilos of smack and two bodies in the trunk doesn't mean there isn't a perfectly reasonable explanation.

7. No, you've got that WRONG. I'm even TOUGHER without the badge and gun.

8. Of course you didn't DO it. You just happened to start your wind sprints in front of the department store, the VCR is extra weight, and the security guards were providing MOTIVATION.

9. She STARTED it? That's the best you can do? My four-year-old does better than that when I ask why his sister is crying.

10. HAVE A NICE DAY.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE 2009 NEW YEARS AD CAMPAIGN FOR DENTAL ASSOC - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145995.html

DIVING LOON SPEARS FLAT FISH! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145912.html

STRANGE NFL FOOTBALL FANS - OAKLAND RAIDERS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/145918.html

STRANGE LITTLE CRITTER - BIG HAIR! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145982.html

STRANGE ARTILLERY PIECES - BIG GUNS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145984.html

STRANGE BEATLES PIX - JOHN LENNON, YOKO ONO AND ANDY WARHOL - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145679.html

STRANGE TOMBSTONES & CRYPTS - LAWRENCE HAD SOME ISSUES! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145794.html

BONNIE PARKER & CLYDE BARROW - FAMOUS BANK ROBBERS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145991.html

HAPPY NEW YEARS DAY! - IS THIS HOW YOU FEEL? LIKE THIS BEAR? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/131014.html

LADIES IN UNIFORM - STRANGE WWF WRESTLER ENTERTAINING THE TROOPS IN IRAQ! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/145996.html

STRANGE OLD MILITARY PILOT TRAINING AIRCRAFT - MARINES - ARMY - NAVY - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145997.html

STRANGE CANADIAN AIR FORCE CARGO PLANE - LITTLE FAT GUY! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/145998.html

USA OLYMPICS GYMNASTICS TEAM - MEDAL CEREMONY - BEIJING 2008 - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/146002.html

STRANGE HOT AIR BALLOON - A BIG NEWSPAPER - FINANCIAL TIMES! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145999.html

STRANGE MOTORCYCLE RACING TANTRUM - MAD AT THE BIKE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/146000.html

STRANGE JAPANESE CUSTOM CARS - COOL PAINT AND LIGHTS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146001.html

SAD KAYAKERS - LOST THEIR PADDLES AND HAD TO STRAP TOGETHER WITH LOGS! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146003.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - * STRANGE PEOPLE - Scary & Just Plain Dumb!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/31_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

How Big is the World Record Potato Chip? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145853.html

The Strange History of Istanbul - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145854.html

New Year's Resolutions for Pets - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/25258.html

New Years Resolutions For Internet Junkies - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/23769.html

New Years Eve Hangover Cures - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/25283.html

==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - Holiday Jokes & Humor - Xmas, Turkey Day, etc.

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/121_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 759 - Dec. 28, 2008 - Strange Computer Women - Which Type Are You?

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats." Howard Aiken

"Life is moderately good play with a badly written third act." Truman Capote

"He who stops being better stops being good." Oliver Cromwell

"Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone." Rodney Dangerfield

"Crime is the soul of lust. What would pleasure be if it were not accompanied by crime? It is not the object of debauchery that excites us, rather the idea of evil." Marquis de Sade

"Good management is the art of making problems so interesting and their solutions so constructive that everyone wants to get to work and deal with them." Paul Hawken

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Computer Women - Which Type Are You?

a.. HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything you say and do, FOREVER. !!!

c.. WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can't do anything right, but you can't live without her.

d.. EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for only four of your basic needs.

e.. SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing functional, but at least she is exciting, colorful, and lots of fun!

f.. INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access and hard to keep running .!!!

g.. SERVER Woman: Claims to be available to you, but Always busy when you need her.

h.. MULTIMEDIA Woman: She has a way of making horrible things look very beautiful.

i.. CD-ROM Woman: She always has you on the move, going faster and faster.!!!

j.. E-MAIL Woman: Out of Every ten things she says, eight are plain nonsense.

k.. VIRUS Woman: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are least expecting her, she shows up, installs herself, and starts gobbling up all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose almost every thing. If you don't try to uninstall her, you will still have nothing.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE RUSSIAN SUBMARINE - TYPHOON CLASS 941 - 1 - http://www.strangeMILITARY.com/content/item/145534.html

1969 HARLEY DAVIDSON MOTORCYCLE - EASY RIDER - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145681.html

STRANGE RAINBOW MIST - WINDMILL FARM - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145892.html

STRANGE MULTIPLE PHOTO PICTURE - WOMAN - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145893.html

STRANGE 'YET TALENTED' WOMEN - BLONDE TRUCK DRIVER - STUCK! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145900.html

STRANGE 'APPLE CIDER' MAKING VEHICLE - TRUCK WITH 55 GALLON BARREL TIRES! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145901.html

STRANGE 'ARKANSAS RAZORBACK' PIG VW - VOLKSWAGEN - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/145902.html

STRANGE WINTER SNOW VEHICLES - PROPELLER POWERED FROZEN LAKE VEHICLE! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145904.html

MOTORCYCLE HILL CLIMBER ABOUT TO HAVE A BAD DAY! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145903.html

CAUGHT IN THE ACT! - SEAGULL STEALS MANS ICE CREAM CONE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145908.html

6 BRIGHT COLORED PARROTS - ALL DIFFERENT COLORS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145910.html

PIGEON SITTING IN A BAD SPOT - STATUE ABOUT TO STRIKE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145911.html

STRANGE NFL FOOTBALL FANS - BALTIMORE RAVENS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/145916.html

CHINESE SPACE PROGRAM - ASTRONAUTS LAUNCHED INTO SPACE 9-25-08 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/145934.html

BLUE BUTTERFLIES - A WHOLE FLOCK OF THE ON A TREE TRUNK - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145942.html

STRANGE BLACK DRAGON TRUCK - MAD MAX - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145973.html

STRANGE ROLLING HOTEL TOUR VEHICLE - SNOOZE & SIGHT SEE! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/145974.html

STRANGE ACCIDENTS! PICKUP TRUCK HITS LIGHTPOST WHILE TOWING POWER BOAT - BOAT ON TOP OF PICKUP! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145977.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - OLD CIRCUS ITEMS - ANIMALS, CIRCUS FREAKS AND ODDITIES

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/100262_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Facts About Uranus - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145849.html

New Mexico - a Strange Enchanting Place - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145850.html

The Strange History of 'The Flintstones!' - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145851.html

The Strange Facts About Spider Silk - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/145852.html

==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - Work, Job, Corporate - Boss Jokes & Business Humor

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 758 - Dec. 23, 2008 - A Strange Early Christmas Present - Chistmas Quiz

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - ---------------------

Merry Christmas!

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pictures and Strange Images on the Internet? Get ready to jump into something "Strange!" http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Christmas Quotes

"Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want-and their kids pay for it." - Rixhard Lamm

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays." Henny Youngman

"Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Football Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence." Erma Bombeck

"Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal." - Lenore Hershey

"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit." - Kin Hubbard

"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together." - Garrison Keillor

"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year." - P. J. O'Rourke

"Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!" - Ogden Nash

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Chistmas Quiz - Can you Name These Carols?

CAN YOU NAME THESE CHRISTMAS SONGS?

1. Oh, member of the round table with missing areas

2. Boulder of the tinkling metal spheres

3. Vehicular homicide was committed on Dad's mom by a precipitous darling

4. Wanted in December: top forward incisors

5. The apartment of two psychiatrists

6. The lad is a diminutive percussionist

7. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis

8. Decorate the entryways

9. Cup-shaped instruments fashioned of a whitish metallic element

10. Oh small Israel urban center

11. Far off in a haybin

12. We are Kong, Lear, and Nat Cole

13. Duodecimal enumeration of the passage of the yuletide season

14. Leave and broadcast from an elevation

15. Our fervent hope is that you thoroughly enjoy your yuletide season

16. Listen, the winged heavenly messengers are proclaiming tunefully

17. As the guardians of the woolly animals protected their charges in the dark hours

18. I beheld a trio of nautical vessels moving in this direction

19. Jubilation to the entire terrestrial globe

20. Do you perceive the same vibrations which stimulate my auditory sense organ?

21. A joyful song of reverence relative to hollow metallic vessels which vibrate and bring forth a ringing sound when struck

22. Parent was observed osculating a red-coated unshaven teamster

23. May the Deity bestow an absence of fatigue to mild male humans

24. Rose-colored uncouth dolf is aware of the nature of precipitation, darling

Answers

1. Oh Holy Night

2. Jingle Bell Rock

3. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

4. All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

5. The Nutcracker Suite

6. Little Drummer Boy

7. Silent Night

8. Deck the Halls

9. Silver Bells

10. Oh Little Town of Bethlehem

11. Away in a Manger

12. We Three Kings

13. The Twelve Days of Christmas

14. Go Tell It on the Mountain

15. We Wish You a Merry Christmas

16. Hark the Herald Angels Sing

17. While the Shepherds Guarded Their Flocks By Night

18. I Saw Three Ships

19. Joy to the World

20. Do You Hear What I Hear?

21. Carol of the Bells

22. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

23. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

24. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE MOTHER BIRD FEEDING BABY BIRD! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145350.html

SHOPPING MALL CHRISTMAS LIGHTS - COOL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145676.html

1967 ALFA ROMEO 33 STARDALE - 7 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145795.html

STRANGE OLDE SHOE TESTING MACHINE - IT WALKS! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/145804.html

SANTA'S GOT TO HAVE FUN TOO! - ROLLER COASTER RIDE - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/121304.html

STRANGE 'SANTA HAT' CHRISTMAS CAR - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/121311.html

MERRY "MINI" CHRISTMAS - http://www.strangevehicle.com/content/item/121374.html

CHRISTMAS TREE - IN A MOTORCYCLE SIDECAR - http://www.strangevehicle.com/content/item/108632.html

SANTA - ARRIVING IN STYLE - COOL MOTORCYCLE - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/3209.html

STRANGE CHRISTMAS 1983 - NANCY REAGAN AND MR. T! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/132956.html

ELVIS PRESLEY - THE KING! - WHITE CHRISTMAS ALBUM - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/129777.html

ELKE SOMMER - STRANGE CHRISTMAS DRESS - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/129219.html

SANTA CYCLE - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/13647.html

STRANGE CHRISTMAS POSTER - SPEND A LOT OF $ ! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/126599.html

STRANGE 'PAINTED' ELEPHANT WITH RELIGIOUS MAN RIDING ON TOP! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/127180.html

SURFIN' SANTA CLAUS ! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/132473.html

OFFICE PRANK - UPSIDE DOWN CHRISTMAS TREE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/126918.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - HOLIDAYS - Christmas - Halloween - Thanksgiving http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/15_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

The Top 15 Forgotten Olde Tyme Christmas Carols - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/22455.html Strange

Christmas Facts - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/104644.html

Politically Correct Twelve Days of Christmas - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/23696.html

"Some Children See Him" Christmas Poem by Alfred Burt - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/121371.html

Eating Tips for the Holidays! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/121368.html

Strange Christmas Traditions Around The World - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/25266.html

Christmas Jokes & Riddles - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/25226.html

Why A Christmas Tree is Better Than a Woman ( or a Man) - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/23707.html

Christmas Poem For Our Soldiers - MUST READ - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/23681.html

Dear Santa Letters (With Responses) - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/23761.html

Top 20 Ways to Confuse Santa - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/22478.html

Dog Rules For Christmas - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/25262.html

==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - HOLIDAYS - Christmas - Halloween - Thanksgiving

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/121_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media***********
(Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED! Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 757 - Dec. 21, 2008 - You Just Might Be A Scrooge if...

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes About Santa:

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? - Tom Armstrong

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple Black

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. - Victor Borge

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark. - Dick Gregory

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? - Arlo Guthrie

I played Santa Claus many times, and if you don't believe it, check out the divorce settlements awarded my wives. - Groucho Marx "The Groucho Phile"

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Just Might Be A Scrooge...

If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas
-- you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson - you just might be a Scrooge

If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon -
you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park - you just might be a Scrooge

If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log -you just might be a Scrooge

If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat -
you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "Silent Night" is sung by OJ Simpson -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite past time is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors' string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn caricatures with egg nog - you just might be a Scrooge

And, finally - if your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin -
you just might be a Scrooge

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE "GRASS CARS" - SMART - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145299.html

REAL or MINIATURE? - TRAIN - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145506.html

STRANGE DEATH MAP OF THE USA - WHERE YOU'RE MOST LIKELY TO DIE! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145675.html

STRANGE CAMPGROUND - EMPTY BEER BOTTLE CHRISTMAS TREE - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/145677.html

ALASKAN CRUISE DANGERS - SHIP PLOWS OVER SWIMMING MOOSE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145678.html

STRANGE MINI COOPER - COW HIDE COVERED! - 1 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145684.html

STRANGE "FLINTSONE" SCOOTER - KENYA - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145685.html

FEMALE F-1 RACING FANS? - SUNNING THEMSELVES! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/145692.html

STRANGE HOUSES - CHISELED OUT OF SOLID ROCK! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145701.html

STRANGE OLD PERSONS WALKER - BICYCLE LOCKED TO LAMPPOST - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145702.html

STRANGE COLORFUL COASTAL FISHING VILLAGE - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145708.html

STRANGE EGYPTIAN GOD STATUE (ANABUS) ON A BARGE IN LONDON - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145709.html

RUSSIAN SPACE SHUTTLE - PIGGYBACK RIDE ON ANTANOV SUPER TRANSPORT - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/145739.html

STRANGE ICY WINDSHIELD - FUN DRIVING IN ICE & SLEET! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145740.html

STRANGE HONDA CIVIC "ELECTRIC" - 1 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145744.html

STRANGE ABANDONED VEHICLES -MILITARY AIRCRAFT BONE YARD - B-52 BOMBERS - OTHERS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/145757.html

STRANGE LIGHTNING FROM VOLCANIC ASH CLOUD - AMAZING - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145782.html

DRUG DANGERS - METH USERS - BEFORE AND AFTER - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145785.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - WATER - SALT-WATER - Oceans - Fish - Sharks - Whales - Dolphins - Walrus

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100670_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Banana Facts - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145616.html

The Water Bowl - A Special Story - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/145671.html

ESTONIA'S PARLIAMENT APPROVED VOTING BY MOBILE PHONE - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/145673.html

12 Things You Might Not Know About the Movie 'A Christmas Story' - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145674.html

==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - ANIMAL HUMOR - CATS - DOG - PETS

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/125_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "Unlike all the other crap you get this Christmas, you can't send this back"

* VIDEO TOY - The Amazing Benny Hillifier
* NIGELLA - You want her, we want her etc etc
* QUESTION - Addicts confess everything

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're hiding from
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| Christmas... together"

B3ta email 359 - 19 Dec 2008

Stick this in your pipe and smoke it:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue359/

Satan: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Santa: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Demons: The Game.

Roam the dark streets of London, in a mission
to smite as many Half Lives as possible.
http://tinyurl.com/5xxc86

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want our linky love? Email is your friend.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Nigella, Yakety sax and mentals

>> Oh Nigella you filthy girl <<
Mike from Casetteboy sends in their latest
video mash, which makes explicit the unspoken
truth about Nigella's cooking shows. "Salty
ointment" is particularly inspired. NSFW. BTW:
Casetteboy has also written a comic novel.
Stick 'Earth Inc. by Michael Bollen' into
Amazon if you're interested.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Oh_Nigella_you_filthy_girl

>> The Amazing Benny Hillifier <<
"Look what I made!" cries a gleeful Bobsworth.
And well he might - it adds the Benny Hill
theme to any youTube video. Just paste the
vid's ID into the box and Bob's your uncle (the
ID is the string of letters and numbers after
v= in a youTube URL)
http://james.nerdiphythesoul.com/bennyhillifier/?id=e5gRBUg294Y

>> My loony bin pics <<
Lol-free gallery of photos taken by b3tard
Gilgamesh during his recent stay. There's an
odd quality to these pictures of sinister,
empty rooms that makes them quite compelling.
http://kineticnorth.com/loonybin/

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
I'm going to hell

Sparked by Freddy Woo's confession that he read
the Lord's Prayer backwards, under his breath,
at his grandfather's funeral in a Dennis
Wheatley-inspired attempt to summon up The Goat
of Mendes, we asked "Why are YOU going to hell?"
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/

* KIDS' TV HAS A LOT TO ANSWER FOR - "3 years of
age and my gran has taken me to church, as she
did. The minister is leading the Lord's Prayer:
'For thine is the Kingdom, and the power and
the...' Me (top of my tiny lungs): 'By the
power of Greyskull! I HAVE THE POWER!!!'"
(Phase3Profit)

* SPASTIC GRAFFITI - "A few years ago, Scope
was running its campaign to see the person
before the disability. Quite right too. So I'm
on the train, roll in to Leeds, look across at
the hoarding, which reads 'Jimmy loves
football, and is a Manchester Utd fan. He also
has cerebral palsy' under which someone had
written: 'Serves him fucking right.' I laughed
harder than I ever thought possible, made all
the worse because I was on a trip with the kids
from the special school I work at. Although,
two of them found it funny too." (wormburn)

* PRETEND RETARDS - "Back when I was 10 and he
was 7, Me and my brother Richard were sat on
the back seats of my Mum's Granada at a set of
traffic lights in Milton Keynes. We hatched a
cracking wheeze where we'd both pretend to be
mongs and spack it up towards the car next to
us. Cue much cocked hand pawing at the window,
drooling and slack jawed mongishness, The woman
driving the neighbouring car nudged her husband
noticing the two drooling cabbages in the back
of the Granada with a look of pity upon her
face. That's not the reason I'm off to Hell
though. When my Mum caught sight of us she
started to give us both a good hiding through
the front seats much to the distress of the
watching woman. We made my Mum look like an
utter monster who randomly leathered the shit
out of poor defenceless retard kids."
(Swan_Vesta)

>> Addicts confess! <<
Extremely interested in addiction at B3ta
towers, props going out to an occasional reader
whom we know recently spunked £9k in one night
on internet gambling. Tell us your stories so
we can feel better about our own weaknesses:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/addicted/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> LiveJournal's latest pics <<
Tracks the 30 most recent photos to be uploaded
to Livejournal. It's interesting to just keep
refreshing, although every page is guaranteed a
cat, some porn, a teenager looking thoughtful
and someone selling cheap clothes.
http://www.portalofevil.com/lj.php

>> After the Climax <<
In these paedo-sensitive times there are some
things you're better off not putting on the
cover of an album called After the Climax. Just
saying.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B001FHGXSU/b3ta-21

>> Party invite nonsense from the spider-drawing bloke <<
How many parties do you think we've been
invited to this Chistmas? One. And that was the
office party of some bloke we met once over
three years ago and we think he included us by
accident via a Facebook thingie. Anyway, as
we're miserable misanthropists this is actually
what we want anyway. Yeah.
http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Celebrities + cats

Plenty to aahh about in this collection of
pictures of famous people posing with cats.
Giorgio Armani and his Persian are
entertainingly evil-looking. Frank Zappa's
cross-eyed kitty is weirdly cute.
http://thecatalyst.typepad.com/the_catalyst/famous-people-cats/

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Better service than Virgin anyway

>> Dog malfunction <<
Dog goes mental, sings scat. Simple, brilliant.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Dog_Malfunction_Fixed

>> Bobby Davro charity song <<
Exceptionally cringe-making charidee fundraiser
by old-school comic Davro and a school choir.
Hs a 'so awful it's good' quality. Also, it's
quite amusing to appreciate how ill-at-ease
some of the kids are in front of the camera.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Davro_charity_song

>> Young Girl Talking About Herself <<
Short, catchy song that summarises a great
proportion of online video diaries.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HN1ru6_u8lY

>> Money in My Pocket <<
Now the credit crunch has really taken hold,
it's actually the budget option to hire an
office full of London stockbrokers to perform
your pop video for you.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=m1efwXkrOAQ

>> What happens when you set up room full of microwaves? <<
We were completely fooled by this and didn't
expect the pay off. Unexpectedly charming.
http://snurl.com/pingpingping

>> Derren Brown interviewed by Richard Dawkins <<
Stuck for entertainment this afternoon? Here's
an interview in six little 10 min chunks,
between Professor Yaffle and a witch. BTW: As
Monty Propps notes, "Derren is looking less
beardy and slightly more portly of late. Coming
out seems to agree with him."
http://snurl.com/dorktalk

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Murder-suicide is the only answer now

* LUVKIDS VAN BEETHOVEN - tristangaudion
informs, "I run the sheet music department in a
music shop and found this title while stocking
the shelves. Love the look on Beethoven's face."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0711901457/b3ta-21

* CURVATURE OF THE PENIS - Balloonhead spurts,
"Working at a language school for foreign
business type people I often hear some funny
names but here's my favourite: a Mr Bent Kock
who owns Implement (a Danish HR company)."
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/5/752/179

* MORE THAI VICAR - ricardoelsevillano
gesticulates, "Following on from the previous
two week's posts in Funny Name Corner; I'm
currently teaching at an English institute in
Bangkok. 'Porn' is very common in Thai names
and means blessing. Thais generally have two
names, one given at birth (often by a Buddhist
monk, hence the `blessing') and a nickname from
their parents. Some of them are most
entertaining. Not only have I taught Porntips
and Supaporns but also Kittiporns, Titiporns,
Puifaces, several Bums, Poos, Pees and Gams
(acronym for Gay Asian Male). I've taught
Bombs, Booms, Earths, Atoms, Beers, Ponds and
Boats, and last week I even taught a Santa. Oh,
and my friend Pop is going out with a guy
called Jazz."

* TICKLING THE PENIS IVORY - Francis Roberts
cums in your hair and apologies, "on the
radio they were playing a Scott Joplin piano
piece, and then when it ended, I thought I
heard something about "penis dick hymen,"
turns out they were just announcing the
pianist, whose name is Dick Hyman... apparently
he's a pretty well known ragtime and jazz guy."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Hyman

-------------------------------------------------

: MCDONALDS NEWS
A feature we have no intention of repeating

* BIG MAC SOUP - Green Spanner writes,
"Regarding your suggestion of blending burgers
into soup in the newsletter, I would just like
to say that I had some cheeseburger soup once,
and it was god-awful. I couldn't finish the
whole thing because it was so terrible.
Unfortunately it was ages ago, and so I have no
pics or anything." BAH! What is it people say?
Pics or it didn't happen.

* BIGGER MAC SOUP - hazzamon blithers, "It
would seem the chaps at 'Will It Blend?' have
already done it. Though, in fairness, what they
have created appears to be more of a shake than
soup."
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=TSTWqRkBN74

* AND FINALLY, BIG MAC PIE - Colonel Boris
barks, "I didn't quite make a soup, but we
invented a fictional McDonald's product and
did actually make it in the end. Christ knows
how many calories, but it was grand."
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8552594
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8561408

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Oliver Postgate Challenge

Last week we asked you to pay tribute to
Oliver Postgate.

Your favourites included:

* THANK YOU - the kitten Bagpuss brings a
heartfelt message (HappyToast)
http://b3ta.com/board/9014132

* SNORE - while the grown-up version dreams
contentedly (WiL)
http://b3ta.com/board/9018762

* WHACK-A-MOLE - finally, a playful Bagpuss
finds it difficult to clout the Clangers (Fresh
Water Mole)
http://b3ta.com/board/9014875

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/oliverpostgate/

>> New challenge: UK TV, Hollywood Style <<
Many great British TV programmes get re-made by
the Americans, but there are plenty they
haven't got round to yet. Play producer and
show us what they'll look like.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/uktv/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* 100 TOP SITES FOR THE YEAR AHEAD - unusually,
B3ta gets a mention in a 100 bestest websites
list that lauds us as, "beyond classification;
its forum has spawned many memes... and
trolls." We're so used to journalists telling
us that we're too rude and unpredictable to
ever mention in their papers that we nearly
fell off our chair.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2008/dec/18/internet-websites

* BUMMERS - thanks to the literally hundreds
(about 28) people who wrote in to point out
that our request for an "arse-fitting cookie
cutter" had already been fulfilled by the
delightfully named:
http://www.turdtwister.com/

* POO PRICE REDUX - "I am b3ta member JBoom,
and years ago I made Poo Price (.com) - it was
a massive hit with over 4 million poo's
recorded and it was even used live on BBC Radio
1! Well, I made it into an iPhone app, so you
can have a poo and time it on your shiny iPhone
or iPod touch. Would you pretty please big it
up in your newsletter ?" Well OK then, seeing
as you asked nicely, but we don't actually have
an iPhone to test this on, being stuck with an
old Nokia from about 2003 (the Golden Age of
Nokias)
http://snurl.com/ipoone

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* KILL CHRISTMAS - electric.dragon requests,
"One of those Flash games where you shoot
things: the things being perpetrators of
clichéd Christmas songs. And their song plays
in the background until you score a hit. Came
to me in the supermarket as 'Saviour's Day'
came onto the PA and I was filled with a desire
to set about Cliff Richard with a shotgun."

* PASTRY CASEMODS - can you run your brand new
Pentium Pro from inside some butter-glazed puff
pastry?

* HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRING - we're sick
of not knowing. Maybe someone could invent some
kind of ruler?

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Twinpack,
john_mcenroe, enceladus, moogy boobles,
FredAstaireAteMyTapShoes, kim.kotchanski,
JamboM, Monty Propps and the_log_knows.
Additional linkage and image challenge by
Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke,
except he's ill. Get well soon Mike. Subjlol
via theoriginalsteve.

-------------------------------------------------

SICKIPEDIA:
What do a midget and a dwarf have in common?
Very little.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

__._,_.___

Messages in this topic (1) Reply (via web post) | Start a new topic

Messages

MARKETPLACE

---

From kitchen basics to easy recipes - join the Group from Kraft Foods

Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

Recent Activity

•  95
  New Members

Visit Your Group

Y! Messenger

Want a quick chat?

Chat over IM with

group members.

Yahoo! Groups

Cats Group

Join a group for

cat owners like you

John McEnroe

on Yahoo! Groups

Join him for the

10 Day Challenge.

.

__,_._,___

Vol 756 - Dec 17, 2008 - Bartenders Advice: If They're Drinking This - They are.......

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck - Elvis Presley

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. - Tom Lehrer

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. - Ambrose Bierce

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. - Anonymous

Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late. - Rita Coolidge

The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends. - Bobby Kelton

In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra…Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts? - Jay Leno

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - If They're Drinking This - They are.......

A number of New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance, down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying, a pain in the butt.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, very picky, knows exactly what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her; if she is interested, she'll send you a drink.

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel, see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy, thinks she is classy and sophisticated, but actually has no clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is; this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and is looking to get totally drunk ... and crazy.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed this evening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make her mad!

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

SANTA CLAUS AND SANTA BABY TAKING A NAP! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/144285.html

STRANGE OLDE PIX - WILLIAM FREDERICK "WILD BILL" CODY - INDIAN CAMP W/ BUFFALO HUNTERS - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145511.html

COOL HI-SPEED PHOTO - BULLET THRU CHALK STICKS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145522.html

STRANGE TRAFFIC SIGNS - REST AREA? - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145548.html

STRANGE ART OBJECTS - COOL CHROME BALL - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145573.html

STRANGE URINALS - ARE YOU GOING TO HANG OUT IN THERE? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145574.html

STRANGE LONG HORN BULL! - WIDE? - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145582.html

STRANGE POP CAN CHRISTMAS TREE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145597.html

STRANGE WATER SKIING FUN - BAREFOOT BUTT SLIDE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/145601.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN "RIDE THRU" McDONALD'S FAST FOOD WINDOW! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145610.html

SCOTLAND YARD WEBSITE HACKED BY 'MONSTER' - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145611.html

STRANGE MILITARY HEADDRESS - PAKISTANI? - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/145656.html

STRANGE SUBMARINE COMPARISON - CAT ON A TOY SEAL! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145661.html

STRANGE CIVIL WAR GUNBOAT - ROUND! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145662.html

STRANGE 'GOLD' ROCK AND SHRINE - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145665.html

STRANGE "WOODEN" MOTORCYCLE - AMAZING! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145666.html

AMAZING ELEPHANT PICTURES! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/145667.html

STRANGE OLDE PRESCRIPTIONS - HEROIN! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145668.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - STRANGE TOYS - Ad Campaigns & Products

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/33_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Fruit: The Olive! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145612.html

The Strange Way Countries Got Their Names - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145613.html

Australia's Strange & Dangerous Box Jellyfish! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145614.html

Strange Man Has 'Hiccups' for 69 Years! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145615.html

==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - Professionals - Doctors, Lawyers, Police, etc.

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/112_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 755 - Dec 14, 2008 - Strange Truisms

× Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

"The only difference between doctors and lawyers is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you, too." (Anton Chekhov)

"It's not the people who are in prison worry me. It's the people who aren't." (Arthur Gore)

"Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire." (George Bernard Shaw)

"Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking." (Bill Vaughan)

"When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living." (Helen Rowland)

"You mean apart from my own?" (Zsa Zsa Gabor, asked how many husbands she had had)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Truisms

TRUISMS #1

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP:
Never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

KLEENEX:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

TRUISMS #2

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines. Ha!

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE POLICE MOTORCYCLES - SUZUKI - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145346.html

CAMEL OASIS - COOL SHOT - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/109922.html

CHRISTMAS TREE - IN A MOTORCYCLE SIDECAR - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/108632.html

REAL or MINIATURE? - JUNK YARD - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/145493.html

STRANGE OLDE FLAG DRAPED LADY LIBERTY - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145510.html

STRANGE DENTIST PROMOTION - VIBRA FINGER - GUM MASSAGER! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/145512.html

STRANGE STATUE TO FLYING - 2 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/145514.html

STRANGE TRANSPARENT BUTTERFLIES! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145516.html

DANGEROUS CROCODILE ATTACKS WATER BUFFALO! - 1 - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145521.html

STRANGE LIGHTNING STRIKE - HILLTOP - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/145523.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN SUBMARINE - TYPHOON CLASS 941 - 3 - MISSILE LAUNCH! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/145532.html

STRANGE OLDE PICTURES - FIRE! WHAT'S HE LAUGHING AT? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145535.html

STRANGE OLDE PICTURES - HOLLYWOOD - JIMMY CAGNEY! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/145539.html

STRANGE DOGGIE DRIVER - RED SPORTS CAR! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145540.html

STRANGE TRAFFIC SIGNS - ALZHEIMER'S CLINIC - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145549.html

STRANGE TRAFFIC SIGNALS - WOW! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145551.html

BLONDE DRIVING PROBLEMS - APPLYING LIPSTICK - LOOK OUT! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/145568.html

STRANGE 'EXTREME ELVIS' HAIRDO IN JAPAN - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145572.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - PUZZLES - STRANGE ITEMS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/100302_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

10 of the Strangest Animal Defense Mechanisms - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145380.html

The Strange Story of JFK and His Rocking Chair - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/145417.html

Strange Euphemisms for "Stupid" - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/145471.html

Doctors' Opinions of The Financial Bail Out Package - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145484.html

==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - Strange Lists - Crazy Numbers - Crazy Stuff

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "Now available in Woolworths"

Diese Zusammenfassung ist nicht verfügbar. Klicke hier, um den Post aufzurufen.