Merry Christmas!
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Strange Christmas Quotes
"Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want-and their kids pay for it." - Rixhard Lamm
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays." Henny Youngman
"Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Football Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence." Erma Bombeck
"Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal." - Lenore Hershey
"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit." - Kin Hubbard
"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together." - Garrison Keillor
"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year." - P. J. O'Rourke
"Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!" - Ogden Nash
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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Chistmas Quiz - Can you Name These Carols?
CAN YOU NAME THESE CHRISTMAS SONGS?
1. Oh, member of the round table with missing areas
2. Boulder of the tinkling metal spheres
3. Vehicular homicide was committed on Dad's mom by a precipitous darling
4. Wanted in December: top forward incisors
5. The apartment of two psychiatrists
6. The lad is a diminutive percussionist
7. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis
8. Decorate the entryways
9. Cup-shaped instruments fashioned of a whitish metallic element
10. Oh small Israel urban center
11. Far off in a haybin
12. We are Kong, Lear, and Nat Cole
13. Duodecimal enumeration of the passage of the yuletide season
14. Leave and broadcast from an elevation
15. Our fervent hope is that you thoroughly enjoy your yuletide season
16. Listen, the winged heavenly messengers are proclaiming tunefully
17. As the guardians of the woolly animals protected their charges in the dark hours
18. I beheld a trio of nautical vessels moving in this direction
19. Jubilation to the entire terrestrial globe
20. Do you perceive the same vibrations which stimulate my auditory sense organ?
21. A joyful song of reverence relative to hollow metallic vessels which vibrate and bring forth a ringing sound when struck
22. Parent was observed osculating a red-coated unshaven teamster
23. May the Deity bestow an absence of fatigue to mild male humans
24. Rose-colored uncouth dolf is aware of the nature of precipitation, darling
Answers
1. Oh Holy Night
2. Jingle Bell Rock
3. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
4. All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
5. The Nutcracker Suite
6. Little Drummer Boy
7. Silent Night
8. Deck the Halls
9. Silver Bells
10. Oh Little Town of Bethlehem
11. Away in a Manger
12. We Three Kings
13. The Twelve Days of Christmas
14. Go Tell It on the Mountain
15. We Wish You a Merry Christmas
16. Hark the Herald Angels Sing
17. While the Shepherds Guarded Their Flocks By Night
18. I Saw Three Ships
19. Joy to the World
20. Do You Hear What I Hear?
21. Carol of the Bells
22. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
23. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
24. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
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