Sonntag, 7. Dezember 2008

Vol 753 - Dec 07, 2008 - Strange Answers From Traffic School Exams

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Strange "Animal" Quotes:

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. - Samuel Butler

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. - Samuel Butler

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. - Bill Dana (William Szathmary)

"Moo" may represent an idea, but only the cow knows. - Mason Cooley "City Aphorisms"

Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger. - Abbie Hoffman

A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle. - Ian Fleming

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Real Answers From Traffic School Exams

Clever Drivers

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's traffic school. YIKES!

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - BABY ANIMALS! Cute - Cuddly - Tiny - Helpless - Amazing!

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The Featured Humor Category This Week - ANIMALS! All Kinds - Amazing!

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