VOL 1369 - Oct 29, 2014 - Strange Test - Are You From The Ghetto or Suburbs?

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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OCTOBER Fun !


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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10843.html
OLDE COCA COLA MARKETING SIGNS - CAMPAIGNS & VEHICLES - DELIVERY TRUCKS - HUGE OUTDOOR SIGNS - ADVERTISING PROMOTIONS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_10030.html
STRANGE BICYCLE RACING PROBLEMS - ACCIDENTS - SPILLS - FUN - TOUR de FRANCE - OLD FRANCE PIXS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10707.html
STRANGE SWIMMING POOLS - ALL KINDS - SIZES - SHAPES - AFLOAT - PARKING

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Strange Groucho Marx Quips:

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Women should be obscene and not heard.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Test - Are You From The Ghetto or Suburbs?

Ghetto Test


If the statement is true add the points in parenthesis to your score.

Scoring is given at the bottom of the test.

1. You've ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5 points)

2. You've ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception. (8 points)

3. You've ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on. (7points)

4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on. (6 points)

5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)

6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on a daily basis. (3 points)

7. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)

8. If you've ever been beaten with an extension cord. (15 points)

9. If you have ever had to walk to or home from school. (2 points)

10. If you've ever passed someone a note asking "Do you like me?" or "Can I have a chance?" check _yes, _no or _maybe. (7 points)

11. If you have ever used dish washing liquid for bubble bath. (9points)

12. If you have ever mixed up some Kool-Aid and the found that you didn't have any sugar. (4 points & add 4 if you put the pitcher in the refrigerator until you got some sugar)

13. If you have ever played any of the following games. (2 points each): (hide and go seek, freeze tag, captain or momma may I?, or red light..yellow light..green light 123!)

14. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a bell + 5 if he played R&B)

15. If you remember any of the following candies. (1 point each): cherry clans, lemon heads, Alexander the grape, ring pops, Chico sticks, baked beans, candy cigarettes, powder packs with the white dip stick, big league chew, "Wine" Candy (jolly ranchers), jaw breakers, and candy necklaces.

16. If you refer to Now and Laters candies as "Nighladers". (6 points)

17. If you've ever ran from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you got away)

18. If you remember underoos or the Wonder Woman bra and panty set. (6 points + 4 if you owned some)

19. If you've ever had reusable grease in a container on your stove. (5 points)

20. The batteries in your remote control are held in by a piece of tape. (5 points)

21. If you've ever used any of the following for drinking glasses. (3 points each): jelly jars, mayonnaise jars, mason jars, or peanut butter jars.

22. You've ever covered your furniture in plastic. (2 points)

23. The heels of your feet have ever looked like you had been kicking flour. (1point)

24. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances. (1 point each): Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge'.

25. You've ever used Tussy. (9 points)

26. You've never been to the dentist. (10 points + 10 if you've never been to the doctor.)

27. You've ever wore clothes with the tag still on them. (4 points)

28. If you're acquainted with someone with a name as follows. (3 points): Kay-Kay, Lee-Lee, Ree-Ree, Ray-Ray, etc.

29. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)

30. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)

31. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc). (3 points)

32. You pronounce words like this (1 point for each example you can think of skrimps or strimps, skreet, axe (ask), member (remember), frigerator, etc.

33. You use nem' to describe a certain group of people (for example Craig and nem' or momma and nem'). (6 points)

34. You've ever had a crack across your windshield and never bothered to get it fixed. (3 points)

35. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (4 points)

36. You've ever asked a perfect stranger to take a picture with you and told your friends it was someone you dated. (3 points)

37. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it. (7 points)

38. If you've ever ran a race barefoot in the middle of the street at approximately 11 at night. (10 points)

39. You've ever left a social gathering with a plate. (1 point)

40. You leave a restaurant with silverware, sugar, and/or jelly. (8 points)

41. You think "red" is a flavor of Kool-Aid. (4 points)

42. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (3 points)

43. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (8 points)

44. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan's. (5 points)

45. If you've ever had to get to the driver's side of the car through the passenger side door. (8 points)

46. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (7 points)

47. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10 points)

48. You won't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number on the caller id box. (7 points)

49. You know a child who can't speak, but can do the "bank-head bounce." (15 points)

50. You think Tupac is still alive. (20 points)

Scoring

0 - 30 - You have enjoyed a nice sheltered life in the suburbs.

31 - 60 - Hood movies have given you a little exposure.

61 - 100 - You may have visited the hood a few times or on weekends.

101 - 130 - You probably spent a few years in the hood, and moved to the suburbs.

131 - 160 - You're the genuine article. You are no stranger to hood life.

161 - 200 - You are definitely, without a doubt an expert on life in the hood.

201+ - Congratulations! You are Ghetto Fabulous!


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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AWESOME REAR QUARTER VIEW OF MERCEDES BENZ CONVERTIBLE CONCEPT! - WOW! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/192887.html


SCARY HALLOWEEN WITCH ELVIRA - MISTRESS OF THE DARK - AND WHAT SHE REALLY LOOKS LIKE DURING THE DAY! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/193080.html


HALLOWEEN FUN - STRANGE JAPANESE KIDS COSTUME - SUSHI ROLL - WITH GINGER AND WASABI! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/193113.html


HALLOWEEN FUN - PROFESSOR USES EXPLOSIVE POWER TO BLAST OUT PUMPKIN FACE - CRAZY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/193115.html


STRANGE BASEBALL EVENTS - CRAZY PLAYER TRYING TO SCORE AT HOME PLATE STOPS, DOES HEAD STAND THEN ROLLS OVER CATCHER! CRAZY ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/193258.html


STRANGE LITTLE SMART CAR - MADE FROM MIRROR TILES - LOOKS BIGGER THAN IT REALLY IS! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/193259.html


STRANGE WEATHER DANGERS - AMAZING DUAL TORNADOES MENACING THE FARM FIELDS & BARN - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/193261.html


WHY I LOST MY JOB SERIES -VERTICAL PARKING LOT CRANE OPERATOR HAS CAR ROLL OFF ABOUT 2 STORIES UP! - FUN ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/193262.html


RENEE ZELLWEGER NO LONGER LOOKS LIKE RENEE ZELLWEGER - CHECK IT OUT - OLD AND NEW FACE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/193263.html


AMAZING LOOK AT US ARMY UNIFORMS THROUGHOUT THE AGES! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/193265.html


STRANGE INTERNATIONAL BORDERS - VATICAN CITY AND ITALY - CATHOLIC STATE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/193268.html


STRANGE DRIVING ACCIDENTS - MAN SAVES ANOTHER MAN AT GAS STATION FROM FIRE HE CAUSED WHEN RUNNING INTO PUMP! - SCARY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/193269.html


STRANGE OLDE HISTORICAL EVENTS - MAKING GEORGE WASHINGTON'S NOSE AT MOUNT RUSHMORE! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/193270.html


SCARY MEDICAL PROBLEMS - IDENTICAL TWIN SISTERS AFTER 16 YEARS WHERE ONE SMOKED AND THE OTHER DID NOT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/193271.html


STRANGE OFFICE PRANKS IN NEW ZEALAND - POST IT NOTES COVER TV CO-HOSTS CAR - AND HOUSE!! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/193272.html


STRANGE FOOD ITEMS - FARM MARKETS SELLING BRUSSELS SPROUTS - LABELS THEM LITTLE BALLS OF DEATH! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/193273.html


STRANGE ANIMAL HALLOWEEN FUN - CRAZY DOGGY COSTUME - COMPLETE AIRPLANE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/193274.html


STRANGE CREATIVE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES - YOUR FACE ON MOUNT RUSHMORE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/193275.html


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - CARS - CORVETTES - VETTES - STINGRAYS - T-TOPS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100667_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Strange Mystery - Nobody Knows Who Invented Spectacles - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/164535.html


- Many Kings Were Just Plain Crazy! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/164536.html


- The Strange 7 Wonders of the World - Old and New - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/164537.html


- Mystery - Who Owns the Moon? - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/164538.html


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The Featured New Category This Week - SV - CARS - CORVETTES - VETTES - STINGRAYS - T-TOPS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263

http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/

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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites


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VOL 1368 - Oct 26, 2014 - Rules For Entering Texas

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

OCTOBER Fun !


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_5501.html
STRANGE RAILROAD TRAINS - LOCOMOTIVES - RAIL CARS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10833.html
STRANGE VEHICLES - BUBBLE TOPS - SHAPES - BOATS - BUBBLE BODY STYLES - LIMOS!

http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/news_8100.html
RALLY CARS & TRUCKS - WHEELS OFF THE GROUND!

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_10053.html
DOGS TAKING A RIDE - ON MOTORCYCLE AND IN CARS AND TRUCKS!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10623.html
WHAT IS SEXIER THAN LEOPARD SKIN TOPS - BIKINI'S - DRESSES?

==================================

Strange Thoughts to Ponder:

Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

Does peanut butter really have butter in it?

Do mimes watch silent movies?

Is the fear of flying groundless?

What would you use to dilute water?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?

Did Adam and Eve have navels?

Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Rules For Entering Texas


Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

It's called a 'gravel road'. I drive a pickup truck because I need to.

No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

They are pigs, cattle, and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive three weeks a year.

So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

Trucks are made to get dirty. Don't bring your Eddie Bauer Limited Edition to my hunting camp and expect to leave clean on Sunday. It won't happen.

We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, well if that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in,we Will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

Go ahead and bring your $800 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle.

We have a name for that little 13-inch trout you fish for---bait.

Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, and crawdads. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you jack-slapped, by our women.

Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to.

Our women are some of the best looking in the country.We open doors for women. That applies to everyone regardless of age.

No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

When we fill out a table there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables,and breads. We use three spices- salt, pepper, and Tabasco Sauce.

You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served over ice, and plenty of it. You bring "Mary Jane" to my house she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar, some lemon, and a long spoon.

That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid for that shot in the airport at New York, Boston, Chicago, or L.A.

High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

Colleges? Try Texas A&M. They come out of there with an education and a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.

We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so, "Don't Mess With Texas". If you do it will get your butt kicked by the best!

Our Military is only used as a back up. Per capita, each man, woman, and child owns at least two firearms and has taken a NRA Certified Shooter Education Course.

Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston once said, "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas.


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE ART FROM AROUND THE WORLD - MONA LISA - SKITTLES MOSAIC VERSION - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/192939.html


HALLOWEEN FUN - SCARY FACE PAINTING USING THE WHOLE FACE AND NECK! - SCARY MONSTER FACES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/193112.html


HALLOWEEN FUN - MILEY CYRUS WITH HER GOOFY TONGUE LOOKS LIKE A STUPID JACK-O-LANTERN! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/193114.html


HALLOWEEN FUN - STRANGE DANCING SKELETON IN THE GRAVEYARD - FUNNY ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/193116.html


DRIVING DANGERS - ROAD RAGE FOOL PICKS WRONG GUY - BIG MAN KICKS HIS BUTT WHEN CONFRONTED! - FUNNY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangepoolice.com/content/item/193204.html


FARM & RANCH PROBLEMS - HORSE IN BARN LEAPS OVER BARS AND SOMERSAULTS INTO NEXT STALL! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/193205.html


CRAZY CAT GETTING READY FOR HALLOWEEN - THE LIZARD HAIRCUT! - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/193206.html


AMAZING MOTORCYCLE RACER LEANING INTO THE TURN SO MUCH HE WEARS A HOLE IN HIS LEATHERS ON HIS ARM! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/193209.html


STRANGE MILITARY EQUIPMENT - HUGE OFFSHORE SUPPORT NAVAL VESSEL PURCHASED BY AUSTRALIAN NAVY - THE OCEAN SHIELD - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/193213.html


TRUCKER JUMPS FROM WAITING SEMI AND RUNS FROM OUT OF CONTROL TRUCK HEADING FOR HIM - HITS BARRIER! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/193218.html


GREAT COLLAGE OF GOOFY HAIRCUTS - FROM SHAGS TO FRIZZY! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/193219.html


FISHING FUN! - MAN DANGLING HIS ARM OFF DOCK, GETS IT GRABBED BY HUGE FISH - OVER 5 FEET LONG! - HE WRESTLES IT ON TO THE DOCK! - FUN ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/193222.html


STRANGE VINTAGE RACE CARS - MILLER GOLDEN SUB - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/193223.html


STRANGE HISTORICAL PHOTOS - MT RUSHMORE - HOW IT LOOKED BEFORE THE 4 FACES WERE CARVED INTO THE STONE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/193224.html


NORTH WOODS DRIVING DANGERS - MOOSE TRIES TO JUMP OVER SPEEDING CAR ON A HIGHWAY! SCARY ROAD HAZARD GIF! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/193226.html


NASTY NEIGHBOR PAYS OFF VET DEBT CAUSED BY HIS GREAT DANE WITH A WHEELBARROW FULL OF PENNIES AND ODD CHANGE! - $288.66 JUST BEFORE SMALL CLAIMS COURT DATE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/193227.html


AMAZING PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER REACTIONS - LINE-DRIVE BACK TO THE PITCHER KNOCKS GLOVE UP INTO THE AIR WHICH HE CATCHES WITH THE BALL IN IT! - AMAZING ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/193228.html


DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS! - "I'M 70, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE" SIGN ON BACK WINDOW OF HIS CAR! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/193229.html


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SF - B - FARM BUILDINGS - BARNS - SILOS - CHICKEN COOPS - STABLES

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/100745_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Cop Who Got Fired for Sleeping on the Job Was Just Awarded Nearly $1 Million - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/193108.html


- You May Be From Canada If… - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/25585.html


- You Know You're Italian When.... - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/24903.html


- You Know You're Italian If... - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/25344.html


- You Might Be A Physics Major if........... - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/127882.html


- You Might be a Leprechaun if....... - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/25502.html


==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SF - B - FARM BUILDINGS - BARNS - SILOS - CHICKEN COOPS - STABLES

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263

http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/

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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites


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[b3ta] None for ages then four in a row - the London bus of weekly internet bollocks

 

This Week:

* ORGAN - Cameron Carpenter is a tit

* GINGER-FACED MAN - "My struggle"

* BOOM! - play your own 1812 Overture game

-------------------------------------------------

________  ____ __  ___

____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving bottles

___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      of piss...

__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       aren't you?

B3ta email 642 - 24 Oct 2014

Read this issues after inhaling helium:

http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue642

  Kisses :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

  Pisses : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK

 Yay - Amazon bollocks

 Wondered what an old Nokia might cost on Amazon.

 The answer will surprise you.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B004OBZQ96/b3ta-21

 

 >> Sponsor B3ta <<

 Want this space? Then talk to us.

http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

 >> Cameron Carpenter's Incredible Organ <<

 Musician Cameron Carpenter is a pretentious cock

 and Pig Face Turnip & Leemondus have been

 mocking him mercilessly.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/Cameron_Carpenters_Incredible_Organ

 >> B3tan Ted talk (well TedX)<<

 Ha. Here's a TED talk where they argue social

 media has something to learn from B3ta - 11

 minutes in.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/Put_social_back_in_social_media_me_talking_about_social_media_b3ta_glasscock_b3ta_and_hedgehogs

 >> Anti-snooping tool <<

 Sinisterduck writes, "A quick tool to remove

 extra image data (geolocation, date, time) from

 images. You know, in case you want to upload

 naughty stuff. Just drag the image in and save

 it clicking a button - no uploading involved,

 happens on your computer."

http://removephotodata.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: USVSTH3M

 The other B3taish project

 * Dance Dance Revolution: 1812 Overture Edition

 Bang! Crash! Explode! Fun times ahead! This is

 our favourite thing we've ever put out.

http://games.usvsth3m.com/dance-dance-revolution-1812-overture-edition/

 * Microsoft have killed Nokia so play our "90s

 Nokia Nostalgia Game" now!

http://games.usvsth3m.com/90s-nokia-nostalgia-game/

 * Your B3ta editor was forced by colleagues to

 write this, it's all a bit embarrassing. "The 15

 stages of being a ginger-haired man"

http://usvsth3m.com/post/100747911063/the-15-stages-of-being-a-ginger-haired-man

 * The tramp who married a badger, and 20 other

 spectacular Sunday Sport headlines

http://usvsth3m.com/post/100670376748/the-tramp-who-married-a-badger-and-20-other

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK

 Silly Achievements

 

 Last week we wanted you to tell us about the

 little things that you'd done that brought you

 pleasure far beyond their size:

http://b3ta.com/questions/sillyachievements

 * HP - "In t'olden days when I wor a lad, the

  label on HP sauce bottles had a description

  of the contents in both English and French.

  The French version began with, 'Cette sauce

  de haute quality est un melange de fruits

  orientaux, d'epices et de vinaigre de malt.'

  It went on for quite a few sentences more and

  for some reason I learned the whole passage by

  heart and became most proficient at reciting it.

  Quite an achievement... but that's not it. As

  a student I discovered by chance that laydees

  just can't say no when a bit of French is

  whispered in their ears. Consequently for years

  I have got my end away to the whispered

  description of brown sauce. I should be ashamed

  of myself. But I'm not." (mallyjoe)

 

  * OED - "I once corrected the Oxford English

  Dictionary. They'd cited a poem as a reference

  and had the title and date of the poem wrong.

  So I wrote them an email and I got a reply back

  thanking me for pointing out the mistake and

  promising to correct it in the next edition,

  which they did. Quite boring, but it does mean

  when someone tells me something's right because

  the dictionary says so I can just go 'I fucking

  CORRECT the dictionary!' Lots of people at work

  don't like me much." (SnowyTheWereRabbit)

 

 * PLOP - "At a picnic a female friend was telling

  me off for making a joke about girls not being

  able to throw. Apparently it was nonsense and

  there was no reason to believe that I, as a not

  even especially sporty man, could throw any better

  than anyone else. Mid-harangue, I managed to

  launch a marshmallow down her gullet."

  (SnowyTheWereRabbit)

  >> This Week - Control Freaks <<

  Peej writes, "My mate Tony's dad used to weigh

  the breakfast cereal in the morning to make sure

  everybody got an equal amount and the pack

  provided the exact amount of servings advertised

  on the packet." Sound familiar? Tell us more:

http://b3ta.com/questions/controlfreaks/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF

 Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

 * Greatest album cover of all time? NSFW.

http://i.imgur.com/zy8DezB.jpg

 * Wonderfully bitchy Guardian article on Chris

 Moyles kicking him so hard we actually started

 to feel sorry for him.

http://gu.com/p/42ygf

* Theremin simulator - ChiTown Guy writes, "This

is sucking up WAY too much of my time and is a

prime example of why I turn the Internet off on

Sundays so I can get work/cleaning done."

http://femurdesign.com/theremin/

 * Yew Tree Grooming Scandal - Fitznicely

 writes, "Unfortunate Company Name of the Day! A

 leaflet for this company was pushed through my

 letter box today. Should I call the police?"

http://yewtreegrooming.com/contact-us

 * Woman orders "fur wolf tail" for Halloween -

 it's er... not exactly what she thought it was.

https://mobile.twitter.com/glitteratty/status/524273672723648512

 * Hansi: The Girl Who Loved the Swastika -

 christ!

http://riffingreligion.wordpress.com/2013/07/04/comic-relief-the-girl-who-loved-stupidity-part-1/

-------------------------------------------------

We just tried a thought experiment imagining a

world in which the Kings of Leon didn't exist. It

was identical to this one but slightly better.

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO

 * UKIP Calypso response:

http://www.b3ta.com/links/UKIP_Calypso:2

 * HASHTAG GAMERGATE - we've been watching this

   video on repeat and giggling.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/Youre_not_even_a_real_journalism

 * THROWING PIZZA - into a microwave across the street.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/Throwing_a_pizza_into_a_microwave_across_the_street

-------------------------------------------------

 * BUSINESS IDEA: considering how much the

   middle-class drink, there should be wine

   floats delivering two bottles on the

   doorstep every morning.

------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE

 Results from the 'Cakes in Films' challenge

 Last week we asked you to turn movies in to

 episodes of Choccywoccydoodah.

 Your favourites included:

 * 2 weeks: Verhoeven's classic cookery show

 Total Bake Off  (HappyToast)

http://b3ta.com/board/11106320

 * Lost Cake: Indy can't choose (Q4nobody)

http://b3ta.com/board/11106089

 * WeightWatchers3: Ripley tries to resist (Ninj)

http://b3ta.com/board/11106154

 

 All these images, and a couple more can be found

 here:

http://b3ta.com/challenge/cakefilms/

  >> New challenge: New Religious Products <<

 This week we're adding to the tat found in

 churchy gift shops. Help us fill up the shelves

 with unlikely holy artifacts.

http://b3ta.com/challenge/religioustat/

-------------------------------------------------

 * BUSINESS IDEA 2: a service that sends you

   Empire magazine two months late so it's

   talking about films that you can actually

   go and see tonight.

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

 Follow-ups on previous stories.

 When you make wishes make sure your wishes are

 things you actually want to come true.

http://usvsth3m.com/post/100496115923/we-asked-the-internet-to-buy-us-fake-plastic-potatoes

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

 Make something cool and tell us about it. If

 you are in it then people will see your stuff.

 Things we'd really like to see include

 * A TWITTER ACCOUNT CALLED "SAVED YOU A WATCH"

  - Soylent Green is people. Saved You A Watch.

  Satire!

 

 * SOME KIND OF MASH UP - with Frank Spencer

 going "Ooh Betty" over this Ram Jam's  Black

 Betty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbjyuDYtAtk  

 * Single serving website idea: is-it-on-Netflix

 . com - big letters: NO.

 Send contributions via the mail form.

http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

 BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't

 been featured then don't be put off - we look

 at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

 We do like the sequence of Russell Brand's

 bibliography: My Booky Wook, My Booky Wook 2,

 REVOLUTION.

-------------------------------------------------

   Yay:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

   Nay:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

   Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard:

   https://twitter.com/b3ta

 

-------------------------------------------------

 THANKS:

 This issue was written by Rob Manuel with

 David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by the fragrant

 b3ta masses yearning to breathe free .  

 Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.

 Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.

 Subjlols via HappyToast.

 We do like the sequence of Russell Brand's

 bibliography: My Booky Wook, My Booky Wook 2 then...

 REVOLUTION.

 

-------------------------------------------------

 TOP TIP:

 The best ever tip is from Undercovercarrot -

 it's actually 20 things you should know if you

 call an ambulance.

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/post120481

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