Vol 951 - Oct. 31, 2010 - 20 Fun Things To Do On Halloween

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange Halloween Dictionary

Bobbing Apples: What happens when you leave your bra off while running.

Boogieman: Guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.

Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat.

Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer.

Full moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your fridge.

Goblin: How you eat the Snickers bars you got for Halloween.

Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done. Also, see "Mr. Hyde."

Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin.

Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week.

Mummy: Who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.

Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking.

Skeleton: Any supermodel.

Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with.

Witch: See "Mother-in-Law."

Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - 20 Fun Things To Do On Halloween

1.Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)

2.Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.

3.Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.

4.Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.

5.Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.

6.After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.

7.Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.

8.When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"

9.When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and runaround the house, screaming until they go away.

10.Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.

11.Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.

12.Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.

13.When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can.

14.Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.

15.Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter.

16.Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.

17.Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy.

18.Hand out cigarettes and bottles of asprin.

19.Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin.

20.Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters. Slam the door when you're finished.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

EXTREME STRETCH HUMMER - 18 SEAT! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/169031.html

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STRANGE & UNUSUAL RAINBOWS - CITY SQUARE FOUNTAIN - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/169644.html

AERIAL VIEW - HIGH ALTITUDE MOUNTAIN TOP FARM FIELDS! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/169664.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - FOOTBALL - NFL - COLLEGE - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100020_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Puns - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/169513.html

Scary Halloween Story - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/25042.html

Halloween Quickies - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/25041.html

Strange Items to Pass Out at Halloween - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/22013.html

Halloween Humor - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/20466.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SS - FOOTBALL - NFL - COLLEGE - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/121_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

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Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

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Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

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Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

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Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

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Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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[b3ta] "The iPhone - Being held incorrectly since 1928"

 

This Week:
* VIDEO - David Cameron sings
* CSS TIPS - How to make 80s album covers
* KITTENS - Fainting kittens remix

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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're wearing
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | 'Coal Not Dole'
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| badges... together"

B3ta email 452 - 29 Oct 2010

Tattoo this issue on your eyelids:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue452/

Something good: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Something bad: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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EXPERIENCE OF A LIFETIME (Sponsored linky)

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>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Do you like giving poor people your money?
Forget the Big Issue - buy our advertising.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Cameron, CSS, Children's TV and zombies

>> David Cameron sings <<
"This took me arse ages to edit together,"
groans superdonal. "My inspiration was David
Cameron's ridiculous use of pop song
catchphrases to get us all to 'come together'
and make the 'big society'." We find David
Cameron innately funny, like some sort of
beady-eyed bird that's learned to talk.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/David_Cameron_Sings_The_Blues

>> 80s album covers in CSS <<
"I made some 80s album art in HTML and CSS,"
explains code-boffin Rico Monkeon. Geeky and
great.
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/cssalbumart/

>> Silly House In The Afternoon <<
Presferatu loves crappy kids TV, loves it! Or
this wouldn't be so well-done. The bored muppet
is excellent. Also maybe stick around for the
animated turds.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Silly_House_In_The_Afternoon

>> Misery Bear: Dawn of the Ted <<
The obligatory Halloween tie-in sees titular
hero Misery Bear fight off a horde of invading
zombies. Nice work, ratbanjos. Although
"titular" really should mean "has nice tits".
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Misery_Bear_Dawn_of_the_Ted

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: BONUS T-SHIRT ADVERTISING
Thank God it's payday...

But fuckabout there's only one more before
Xmas. Get 10% off everything before Wednesday
with the discount code PAYDAY! at ShotDead. We
got all the good stuff you need to sort Xmas or
just indulge yourself. New t-shirts poking fun
at Apple, Jim'll Fix It soap, flower hand
grenades, insulting Post-Its... Random.
Funny. Essential ...kind of.
http://bit.ly/bQoyBS

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Crappy Relationships

Last week we asked about your failed, bonkers
or just plain odd relationships. Read on for
some scarily clingy/fighty/stinky people:
http://b3ta.com/questions/relationships/

* "I knew it was over when I got this answer
phone message: 'Hey... er... oh I'd hoped to
speak to you but you must be in work... Sorry
to leave this message. Well, erm... remember I
called you last night? And I was a bit drunk?
Well I sort of got a lot more drunk. And I lost
my friends.... but I got a lift home from these
three random guys. Erm... well I thought they
were a taxi and one of them had really cute
eyes so I let him shag me on the back seat...
and then I kind of drunkenly figured that the
other two would feel left out so I let them
shag me too. Anyway, to cut a long story short,
I felt really guilty this morning so I went to
see my ex-ex-boyfriend.... and I've sort of
shagged him too. Erm. Sorry?'" (Zapiol)

* "When I was eight, I bought her Polos to
prove my devotion. She took them, ate them and
stole mine too. She then went and kissed
another boy! With fresh, minty breath that was
mine by right! The minty Jezebel! Snakes with
tits, I tells ya." (universalpsykopath)

* "I got the silent treatment - she didn't
speak to me for three days. Because I was mean
to her. IN A DREAM." (Beve The Spaniard)

>> This Week's Question <<
We'd like your babysitter stories: brats you've
looked after, babysitters you've had and baby-
sitters you've, erm, had. Yeah, right. Talk to
us here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/babysitters/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Film animated gifs <<
Raising to the level of art is this collection
of superbly-timed gifs. We particularly like
the ones of Brigitte Bardot's arse on page 5.
http://iwdrm.tumblr.com/

>> FAC-ed if I know <<
Dead Factory Records genius Anthony Wilson gets
a gravestone at last, a thing of great beauty
based on the FAC004 poster. When we die, our
gravestone is going to be an enormous animated
gif with spunky cocks and shit. Or Bardot's
arse.
http://goo.gl/RWc3

>> Huge pixel-art with 167 classic videogames <<
It's a viral thing for Tron: Legacy and it's
absolutely gorgeous. Linky goes to a thread on
our board where someone has grabbed the art out
of the annoying game bit. Print this out,
tattoo it on your penises, this is the new
poster for your fetid man-flat.
http://goo.gl/niMX

>> Amazon Audio Tape Charts <<
Amused to find tucked away on Amazon a chart of
their best-selling music tapes - at number 1
is Now That's What I Call Xmas. Also doing well
at No. 7 is Howard Jones, which must be the
first time he's been in any chart (other than
the sex offenders register) since about 1985.
http://goo.gl/JiVA

>> The God Of Cake <<
Allie of hyperboleandahalf has outdone herself.
This is epic. To a four-year-old girl, cake is
the only thing that matters.
http://goo.gl/iN7I

>> Woman FAIL <<
"A fashion blog for men who want to look like
middle-aged suburban moms." Potentially NSFW,
and rather mean-spirited too.
http://womanfail.tumblr.com/

>> Dating for munters <<
If there could have been a dating site better
designed for the average internet user we
haven't seen it. Our readers are much prettier
than this so we're only sharing for academic
interest.
http://www.theuglybugball.com/index.php

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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Fainting kittens + Shep Pettibone remix

Everywhere this week are these delightful
little kittens who suffer from "myotonia
congenita" made famous by a YouTube video of
goats from yesteryear.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Fainting_Goat_Kittens

The good news is that it's already been remixed
by B3tans. zacherynuk writes, "I've solved the
Fainting Kittens Mystery, using special
noise-finding apparatus. Or something. It was
gonna be awesome, but after 10 minutes decided
I should do some real work."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Fainting_Kittens_Mystery_Solved

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
It's like Revver never happened

>> Russian bath tub fireworks <<
No further description necessary.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/546606

>> Tiny cannon <<
Oh Jesus, suddenly we know what we want for
Christmas. It looks deadly though, so we'd
probably be too scared to actually fire it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi4g_U0hoOg

>> Oops <<
Collected clips of people dropping the video
camera. Much better than it sounds, as it makes
you think, "Oh no, don't film near the swimming
pool!"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Oops:11

>> USB typewriter <<
Luddites of the world unite! As one commenter
aptly puts it "Fuck you progress"!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EozwYbMTtS0

>> Prequel to Hitchcock's "The Birds" <<
Brilliant, suspense-filled trailer to
Hitchcock's long-awaited precursor to "The
Birds".
http://goo.gl/8Ahz

>> Mobile phone in 1928? <<
Could this be a mobile phone-using
time-traveller, caught on camera by Charlie
Chaplin's film crew? Well, no, obviously. Why
would someone from the far future use scabby
old 2010 tech? Skip to 2:48 for the money
shot, avoid being wound up by the excitable
narrator. Everywhere this week.
http://goo.gl/Nt44

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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Actually a name for once rather than a cocky pic

Check out the name for the president of Food
for the Poor.
http://goo.gl/uD6W

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Spending Cuts Challenge

Last week we wanted you to show the impact of
nasty Government cuts

Your favourites included:

* BBC - money disappears from the BBC coffers
and prompts a new challenge (see below) (Bela
Lugosi's Dad)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10227114

* SHOPS - a return to Victorian living
conditions is almost inevitable (Captain Howdy)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10226931

* NAG - Jeremy the annoying horse gets a
promotion (Fresh Water Mole)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10226664

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/cuts/

>> New challenge: New TV Idents <<
TV companies spend millions getting design
agencies to supply ever-more imaginative idents
to represent their "core values" and "brand
image". We think the same job can be done by
b3tards for pence. So fire up Photoshop and
show the professionals how it's done.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/idents/

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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* IS THATCHER DEAD YET? Not yet, but the Daily
Mail's had an aneurysm about the site made by a
naughty little b3tan.
http://goo.gl/xcVK

* "I AM ON BBC3, NAKED IN THE BATH," brags
Pedantichrist. "That's about it really. I look
fat too."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/I_am_on_BBC3_naked_in_the_bath

* BRIAN BLESSED FLASH MOB - Here's is your
chance to meet Brian Blessed - next Thursday.
TomTom have a load of Blessed Beards and the
Blessed will be present:
http://goo.gl/ujXa

-------------------------------------------------

: YOUR GUIDE TO NUMBERS
And their relationship with excreta. No place
for knob-cheese, we are disappointed to find.

Number one: wee
Number two: poo
Number three: semen
Number four: a period
Number five: tears
Number six: ear wax
Number seven: Belly button fluff
Number eight: Snot
Number nine: Dry sebum squeezed from an ancient
spot that comes out like angel hair spaghetti
Number ten: That gunk you get under your toe
nails that tastes salty

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If you
are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* SCIENCE! DOES POO GET MOULDY? Keep a turd in a
bucket for a few weeks, photograph it every day.

* TICKET MACHINE JACKPOT - apparently some
ticket machines will only take a certain amount
of small change in payment before rejecting the
lot, Vegas jackpot-style. Someone try this and
film yourself whooping it up over your 'win'.

* LOCAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES - Got an A2
printer? Print all caps headlines and stick
them in the holders outside newsagents.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Sex: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Death: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Guy Incognito,
RedHouse, LeightonJimbo, Pedantichrist, Dan dan
dan, @davepattee, Elvis of Nazareth, Cliff
Richard's porn stash, Fluffster Top Tippery by
~\(_0)/~ Additional linkage and image challenge
by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols via The Great Architect.

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
Save cash! Your partner may like to see a
colourful bowl of fruit proudly displayed on
the kitchen table, but you'll end up dumping it
after 3-4 days. Keep your fruit in the fridge,
it will last weeks.

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Vol 950 - Oct. 28, 2010 - Your Halloween 'HorrorScope'

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange Halloween Quotes:

I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween… -- Unknown

Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
William Shakespeare, Witches in Macbeth

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid, there were rules to the art of door-to-door extortion. Kids today don't even know that they're going about Halloween all wrong. - Robert Kirby

Proof of our society's decline is that Halloween has become a broad daylight event for many. - Robert Kirby

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Your Halloween HorrorScope

HORRORSCOPES

Ascaryus (Jan 20-Feb 18): This Halloween looks to be a scary one for you. But before you go around crying, "Ooooh, I want my mummy! I want my mummy!" think about this: You want more lovin', right? Well, if you run around like a scaredycat, you will, to quoth the raven, "Neverscore."

Pieces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Vampires are evil, hypnotic people who will emerge in the night and drain you. Sounds like someone I used to date. You need to be careful because you may have closed the metaphoric coffin lid on a relationship, only to find that this person will rise from the graveyard of your heart to worm their way back into your life. One word of advice from "Buffy The Vampire Slayer": A vampire can only come in if you invite them.

Scaries (Mar 21-Apr 19): You've got to pick up every stitch this Halloween because, unless I miss my guess, it must be the Season of the Witch. If only every holiday could be commemorated with a bad Donovan song. Wouldn't it be great, on Thanksgiving, to sit around the table, giving thanks for the bounty we are to receive by singing a rousing round of "Mellow Yellow"? That is truly the most horrifying thought you can be faced with this Halloween.

Tarot (Apr 20-May 20): Sure, you ladies have been looking for some lovin'. But you don't want to go for just any Tom Dick and Harry. And heaven forfend you go for any Jack you find, especially when that Jack is some hollow-headed grinning gap-toothed idiot. But then again, despite his weird exterior, if you look inside, you'll see a flame burning bright. This might be the season of the witch, but if you try not to act so witchy and look past the odd exterior, you'll find hidden depths in the ugliest places.

OnlyOneEye (May 21- Jun 20): Horror is in the eye of the beholder, whether that eye be bloodshot and yellow, peering at you from the shadows of the night, or whether the eye is a horrible dismembered giant radioactive eye. What is truly scary? A werewolf? A werewolf is not so much a horrible half-man half-beast as a chronic undershaver. A headless horseman is just the victim of a particularly bad hair day. In much the same way, you can find the brighter side of anything that comes your way, no matter how horrific or annoying.

Dancer (Jun 21-Jul 22): Scary is relative, and we don't just mean your crazy relatives who threaten to come visit for six weeks, but rather the idea that whereas a movie with monsters made out of cardboard boxes and paper mache may have been the scariest thing you'd ever seen when you were eight, it now looks like crap. You must get over your initial fears of a new project or relationship; although it seems insurmountable now, if you stick with it, you will eventually be able to overcome it.

Tao (Jul 23-Aug 22): Frankenstein's monster was, of course, made out of the parts of a couple dozen other people, which must have been hell when it came to custody hearings. Nothing's more awkward at a family reunion than having one-tenth of Cousin Harry show up at the buffet. You, too, feel like you're being pulled in twenty different directions, but you'll soon receive the jolt you'll need to get on your feet again.

Vertigo (Aug 23-Sep 22): Pity the poor skeleton who wanders around on Halloween, looking so unfashionable in all-white a full two months after Memorial Day. Of course, he can't help it, and he is actually successful in the love department; after all, he is "ribbed" for her pleasure. This week you'll find that you attract more flies with honey than even dead zombie flesh, and being inherently nice to the opposite sex will make them flock to you like vultures to a skeleton.

Webra (Sep 23-Oct 22): Zombies are pretty well-known for trying to suck the brains out of people's heads. As was every high school algebra teacher I ever had. Coincidence? Considering that those people were always pale on the point of being green, had trouble communicating more than moans and incoherent screams, and had awkward, stumbling walks down the hallway, I think it's lucky I escaped without some horrible "Night of the Living Dead scenario." You escape a horrific fate worse than death , if you can steer clear of boring people at parties.

Scareio (Oct 23-Nov 21): You think you're being slick, but the truth is that you're like a ghost; people can see through you, and all the noise you're making is more effective scaring small children and dogs than actually doing anything. It's time to leave your old haunts and take care of that grave matter that's all your vault.

Sekeltarious (Nov 22-Dec 21): Boo! Scared ya!

Capricandycorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): You're in the zone this week! The Twilight Zone, that is, and it's going to be a creepy thrill ride with an incredibly ironic twist at the end that serves as a commentary on our mixed-up Cold War nuclear society. Don't let the creepy situations you get yourself into this week get you skittish. Let them get you Skittles; why not go Trick-or-Treating? It's fun to dress up, get given stuff, and not have to give ten percent to a big guy named Huggy Bear. And Halloween candy doesn't count as calories!

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE RARE & EXOTIC ANIMALS - MEXICAN WALKING FISH - http://www.strangemedical.com/content/item/169099.html

STRANGE OLDE CLASSIC AUTOS - 1908 BUICK FLATBED - WOOD FRAME - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/168288.html

NEW WAR WAGON! - 2012 FORD RAPTOR SUPER CREW UP-ARMORED VELOCIRAPTOR APV - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/169033.html

CIVIL WAR PICTURES - POWDER MONKEY - USS NEW HAMPSHIRE - CHARLESTON SC - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/168098.html

STRANGE OLDE CLASSIC AUTOMOBILES - 1939 DELAHAYE - 135M - RED OVER WHITE - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/168764.html

AMAZING ARTIST - ANNA KOSTENKO - PAINTINGS - PPS PRESENTATION - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/169049.html

STRANGE CELEBRITY SECRETS - TERI HATCHER WAS RAPED BY HER UNCLE - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/169130.html

STRANGE EXPERIMENTAL AIRCRAFT - RARE PICTURES AND SHAPES! - BIG JET ENGINES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169278.html

STRANGE CUSTOM WHEELS & RIMS - LUCKY ROULETTE WHEEL - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/169363.html

STRANGE AFRICAN MADE FURNITURE - SKINS, TUSKS & HORNS! -LIGHTED DISPLAY CASE - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/169386.html

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT - JEAN & SEXY PINK TUBE TOP - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/169460.html

WORLD RECORD CANDY CORN - CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE - HALLOWEEN CANDY - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/169472.html

AMAZING PELICAN GRABS PIGEON - LUNCH? - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/169479.html

AMAZING LIGHTNING STRIKE - STATUE OF LIBERTY - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/169482.html

THE STATUE OF LIBERTY IN TOKYO - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/169483.html

STRANGE 3 LITTLE BOYS PHOTO - WEARING BACON TUXEDOS? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/169492.html

STRANGE NIGHTTIME TIME LAPSE ACTION GIF - HUGE THUNDERSTORM - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/169514.html

STRANGE WWI STAGED BOMBING PIX - SOLDIERS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/169515.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - HOLIDAYS - Christmas - Halloween - Thanksgiving

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/15_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Facts About Sneezing - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/169509.html

Strange Facts About Famous Painters - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/169510.html

Strange Facts About Automobiles - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/169511.html

What The Names of The Days Really Mean - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/169512.html

Funny Sayings You Find in E-Mails - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/25145.html

Halloween Groaner - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/21959.html

Halloween One Liners ! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/25047.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - HOLIDAYS - Christmas - Halloween - Thanksgiving

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/121_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 949 - Oct. 24, 2010 - Quick (But Scary) Psychological Test

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange 'Questions':

Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed? --Victoria Wood

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright

What happens if you go on a survival course - and you don't pass?

What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil?

Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?

What is shaved ice? Did it have hair on it before it was shaved?

Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?

Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?

How do I set my laser printer on stun?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Quick (But Scary) Psychological Test

A Psychological Test

This is a genuine psychological test.

It is a story about a girl. Whilst at the funeral of her own mother, she met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be, that she fell in love with him there and then.

A few days later the girl killed her own sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

Stop and think for a minute before reading further.

The obvious answer, Mr Bundy? She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.

This was a test by a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in this test and answered it correctly.

If you didn't answer correctly - good for you.

If your friends hit the jackpot, may I suggest that you keep your distance.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE VINTAGE EUROPEAN VEHICLES - 1936 TATRA 7 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/167906.html

STRANGE RARE & EXOTIC ANIMALS - GOLIATH BIRD EATING SPIDER - http://www.strangemedical.com/content/item/169095.html

STRANGE FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIER ! PROJECT FICON - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/168417.html

STRANGE YELLOW TRIKE BIKE - TINY VW REAR - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/169010.html

AMAZING OLDE PHOTOS - PPS PRESENTATION - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169048.html

STRANGE CELEBRITY SECRETS - JACK NICHOLSONS SISTER WAS ACTUALLY HIS MOTHER! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/169129.html

STRANGE EXPERIMENTAL AIRCRAFT - RARE PICTURES AND SHAPES! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/169271.html

STRANGE EXPERIMENTAL AIRCRAFT - RARE PICTURES AND SHAPES! - AREA 51? - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/169281.html

ADRIANA LIMA FEATURES VICTORIA SECRETS $2 MILL BRA - 3 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169248.html

STRANGE COINS FROM AROUND THE WORLD - PALAU - SMELLY SURFER COIN W/ OCEAN SCENT - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/168232.html

STRANGE DOUBLE LIFE OF EVIL CANADIAN AIR FORCE COLONEL RUSSEL WILLIAMS - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/169311.html

STRANGE HORSE SHOW - WORLD EQUESTRIAN GAMES - 2 - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/169327.html

STRANGE ART - CLASSIC OIL PAINTING - STRANGE SUBJECT - 1 - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/169334.html

STRANGE CUSTOM WHEELS & RIMS - PAKI - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/169344.html

STRANGE AFRICAN MADE FURNITURE - SKINS, TUSKS & HORNS! - MATCHING ZEBRA SKIN CHAIRS - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/169390.html

STRANGE WEDDING DARE - BRIDE TEES UP GOLF BALL ON GROOMS MOUTH! - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/169428.html

MAN FILMING TRAIN ALMOST GETS HIT BY ANOTHER! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/169429.html

STRANGE AERIAL SHOT OF TREE SHAPED "TREES" AND TREE HOLE IN TREES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169438.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - V - Strange Fast Food Properties - Pizza Parlors - Cheap Local Eateries

http://www.strangevacations.com/content/category/101194_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Answers on High School Tests - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/168998.html

40 Strange Things You Might Not Know - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/124111.html

Strange Baseball Injuries - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/124787.html

Strange Actual Calls to Information in England - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/125486.html

You Might Be British IF.............. - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/121341.html

How to Speak Nuw Zulander .......... - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/123073.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - STRANGE WHEELS - RIMS - HUBCAPS - MAG WHEELS -

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/101270_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "Osbourne: Let them eat cake"

 

This Week:
* CAT - vs printer, translated
* CUTS - Sir Ian Bowler sings
* GIFS - Emote glossary

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're kicking the
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | poor with a Tory
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| boot... together"

B3ta CD-Rom 451 - 22 Oct 2010

Read this issue backwards and summon Satan:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue451/

Spend: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Cut: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
XXX Factor shocker!

X Factor's loved-up contestants papped in
raunchy porn shop. Susan Boyle implicated.
http://bit.ly/SuBos_X_Factor_Scandal

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
...and we'll sit in cyber-beans for, well beans.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other than producing excessive earwax

>> The cat vs printer - Translated <<
Tremble, IT support nerds: your days are
numbered. "This may have already been done,"
shrugs Slurpy J. "But I only saw it recently
and this is the first thing that came into my
mind."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_cat_vs_the_printer_Translated

>> Green Zone deleted scene <<
"I can see why they left this out," claims
ratbanjos of this extra scene from the Matt
Damon thriller.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Green_Zone_Deleted_Scene

>> Sir Ian Bowler on The Cuts <<
Fragrant Tory spokesman Sir Ian Bowler sings a
little song about the Comprehensive Spending
Review. via Natt.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Sir_Ian_Bowler_on_The_Cuts

>> Dan Bull pirate rap <<
None of that 'Talk Like a Pirate' bollocks
though, as Dan once again vents his spleen on
the record industry's big boys for picking on
the Pirate Bay. Right on! Directed by the
delightful Joe Rigby.
http://bit.ly/a1sGGA

>> Up the bum <<
Jesus. Fucking. Christ. "This brings the
'Touching things is fun' trilogy to a close,"
brags koit. In future, this will stand up there
with Kieslowski's Three Colours trilogy. But
the colours will be brown, yellow and a sort of
spunky white.
http://www.highasakoit.co.uk/upthebum.php

>> X Factor compactor <<
Live everyone's dream of mashing up Simon
Cowell's face with Dannii, using this
entertaining little online toy. Cheers PokeHQ!
http://bit.ly/bHQ3B0

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Things to do before you die

Last week we asked what was on you wish list of
things to do before you died and, crucially,
why. Go read dadadali's humbling piece on dying
of a "bizarre auto-immune illness":
http://b3ta.com/questions/wishlist/

* "Twelve years ago, a friend and I were
leaving school forever. We made up a list of
things we had to accomplish now that we walked
in the world of men. I still have it; a useful
reminder of what, as young teens, we felt were
important achievements. Here are a select few:
+ Foil a baddy in the execution of his duties
+ Find an amount of money exceeding 100 pounds
+ Make an enemy cry with a witty rejoinder
+ Lance a boil
+ Boil a lance, for the fuck of it
+ Catch someone who is falling (preferably with
one hand, height of fall irrelevant)
+ Egg on a street fighter
+ Shrug nonchalantly. Mean it.
+ Faint
+ Chair a meeting stood up, pacing, and smoking
a cigar
+ Serenade the wrong window
+ Have a drink slid to me by a stranger in an
apron
+ Be cursed
+ Arm-wrestle a lesbian
+ Rue the day
+ Visit a celebrity in prison. Demand that they
stop writing me letters.
+ Kick out a farmer
+ Fool a camel
Still working on most of them."
(Wet chinned bag-shanker)

* "My boy is 20 tomorrow and before I die I
would love to see him crying, sobbing, on the
sofa in front of me begging for help. Tired
beyond belief, unable to speak, eyes rolling
round in sockets that have bags the size of
suitcases under them. Wondering to himself how
he got in this mess. Unsure if his life will
ever be the same again. Thinking he has made a
terrible, terrible mistake. Then I can scoop up
the bundle of screaming, red faced, crying
grandchild into my arms and make it all better.
Pour all my heart into something my dearest
love in the world has produced, and spoil them
all to death. I fucking can't wait to be a
grandma." (Dr.Caligari's cabinet maker)

* "I really want to teach a parrot to say
"Help! They've turned me into a parrot!" (Count
Vanderhoff)

>> This Week's Question: Relationships <<
How crap is your relationship? What has your
partner done that's convinced you the magic's
gone? "Breathe" is not an answer:
http://b3ta.com/questions/relationships/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> GIF Glossary <<
Despite the onslaught of new technologies, the
animated gif shows no signs of dying. Pretty
lucky really as it's what B3ta is mostly known
for. That, and celebrating kittens before the
internet went all lolcatty.
http://jezebel.com/5664134/the-comprehensive-gif-glossary

>> Secretary Cat <<
This week B3tans have been mostly masturbating
to photos of Justin Beiber dressed as a
schoolgirl, dogs with human cocks photoshopped
between their legs and this lady dressed as a
cat:
http://monicamenez.com/mm/mm_01.html

>> Google Teleport <<
Google SteetMaps + random = sort of
teleportation machine, and it doesn't even have
to kill you and create a replica elsewhere to
work. Not until version 2.0 anyway.
http://web.mit.edu/~jmcmicha/www/globegenie/

>> Unfunny shit on the web <<
Don't trust your own opinions? Why not read
this guy's huge list of things on the web he
finds unfunny. We can't decide if us not being
on it means A. We're amazing funny or B. We're
not culturally relevant enough to be worth
mocking. Probably the latter.
http://unfunnythings.tumblr.com/

>> Unnecessary quotation marks <<
"Funny"
http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Imagine pixels represent real events lol

>> "He moved his arms and legs today" <<
American football player makes unexpectedly
strong recovery from spinal injury.
http://goo.gl/uzXr

>> Tractor Music <<
Nice bit of fun as a band jams with a tractor.
This is what people did in the days before drum
machines.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Tractor_Music

>> Racist school trip <<
Bloke reminisces about a field trip... to the
cotton fields of the southern US.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ah_childhood_memories

>> Drunk dude attacks officer with a dildo <<
What would you do if a bloke attacks you with a
dildo? You'd probably have to beat him off. etc
etc etc.
http://goo.gl/s6YN

>> How to meet European men <<
Video series that aims to teach holidaying
American women how to pick up European men. Men
are sophisticated, so don't just lean on the
furniture - dance like a stripper!
http://goo.gl/AAKc

>> Super Massive Raver vs. Diana Vickers <<
Super Massive Raver tries desperate measures to
rid his brain of X Factor contestant Diana
Vickers. Enjoyably twattish.
http://goo.gl/4PmT

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Old school phallic logo-lols

With an added squirl of jizz.
http://www.voiceoverxtra.com/calendar.htm

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Squirrels Challenge

Last week we wanted you to relate the
importance of squirrels throughout history

Your favourites included:

* HITLER - der Führer's inspiration for Mein
Kampf finally revealed (Smallbrainfield)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10220030

* DYLAN - subterranean homesick squirrel makes
a classic video (eclectech)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10219628)

* HATS - doink doink doink doink doink doink
doink doink doink (WiL)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10222321

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/squirrels/

>> New challenge: Spending Cuts <<
It's cut, cut, cut. The Coalition are saving
money everywhere they can by cutting back on
everything they can. Where will it end? Use
Photoshop to reveal all.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/cuts/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* SNAILS AT THE SAATCHI - Hampster Squared
writes, "B3ta newslettered my painted snails
couple of weeks back. Since then, I won a
national competition and got to shove my snails
in the Saatchi Gallery (I don't think Mr
Saatchi himself saw them, as I gather there was
a falling out between him and the competition
people)! On the judging panel was Vic Reeves,
who wandered round and on the third viewing
suddenly exclaimed 'Oooh, they're ALIVE!' Yes,
they are indeed. Have some pics :D"
http://tiny.cc/9n1tc

* REDDIT INTERVIEWS CYRIAK - Our
second-favourite website (we're addicted to the
IAMA section) interviews B3ta's surrealist
animator.
http://goo.gl/o2f4

* WAS THAT PRISON CONFESSION STUFF BOLLOCKS? -
the punters at MeFi think so.
http://www.metafilter.com/96657/A-kind-of-forced-autism

* 1998 PROJECT UPDATE- Jon Silk writes,
"feedback keeps coming in thick and fast, a web
design company wants to build me a dedicated
1998 Project site, and Orange have got in touch
and are reducing my payment to £15 a month for
just calls and texts. Should've thought my
demands through a little better really."
http://www.1998project.com

* ISTHATCHERDEADYET - turns out that this
project was co-created by old school B3tan
@jearle who also points out some of the hate
mail he's received including:
"Fuck you all and hope YOU fucking die!"
"The #whenthatcherdies hashtag is one of the
more despicable uses of Twitter I've seen.
Website is awful too:"
"Is there a website that tells us if @jearle
and @antoniojl are dead? Because that would be
hilarious."
http://www.isthatcherdeadyet.co.uk/

* MILLIGAN'S GRAVE - Robnob writes, "I went to
Spike Milligan's grave last year in St Thomas's
Church in Winchelsea but I couldn't find it. An
old chap, who I assume just waits every day for
twats like me, showed me where it is but it
didn't have the words "I told you I was ill" on
it. Oh no, it's written in Gaelic." Yep,
checking this on Wikipedia, you can even see a
photo.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spike_Milligan

* JUSTIN BIEBER CORNER - Shedside has written
in to inform us that he calls the famous Bieber
hair cut a "Bieber-do", which we kinda like as
it sounds like something Scatman John might
sing.

* MILKY TEABAGS - Applecore writes, "If the
review is any indication, it must be good."
http://www.asianfoodgrocer.com/product/royal-milk-tea-bags

* MORE MILKY TEABAGS - whereas TBL writes,
"Ummm these exist. Our office has a Kenco
machine with vile 'white' PG Tips cardboard
cups full of this decrepit vileocity. I keep
asking for the non-powdered version, but there
is clearly some dependant chemical in it, as I
cannot get enough of the indigestion-inducing
bile."

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
95 games all disguised as work

bobbycutters writes, "I've just started to work
my way through them but some of them are real
sweet, and all conveniently disguised as Word
docs so I suppose you could get away with it at
work. The highlights for me so far is No.22 -
Paintball - level three is a huge picture of a
cock."
http://1cup1coffee.com/x/1024/

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include:

* THEBESTPLACETOSTAND - Trev asks, "I wanted to
email you about the webpages b3ta would like to
see section - I'd love to see a website called
thebestplacetostand.com, which tells you the
best place to stand at a London Underground
station to be guaranteed of getting to your
destination quicker - for example, if I'm
getting on a train at Chancery Lane and want to
get off at Tottenham Court Road to change onto
the Northern Line, then where should I stand,
at the far side, the near side, or somewhere in
the middle? It would save minutes off my
average journey time, and if everyone started
doing it, then it would help to ease Tube
congestion and reduce people stopping to a dead
halt on the platform looking like confused
cats."

* WEIRDEST SEARCH RETURNS - oxbow_lakes asks,
"Whilst searching for a still from that
election programme in 1979 where David Dimbleby
was caught chewing on a Mars bar at 5am, I
typed "dimbleby mars bar election" into Google
images, expecting the magic search goblins to
instantly produce the precise thing I was
looking for.

"Imagine my surprise when a startlingly random
array of happenstance filled the screen,
including but not limited to:

- Richard Dawkins looking at a Cricket sometime
in the 1970s
- Client Eastwood as The Man With No Name
- John Major blowing his nose
- a Green Britney Spears atop a grimacing
Hilary Clinton
- Wales
- The obligatory scantily-clad woman

"What four word search term produces the most
random array of results, and how would one go
about defining a measurement of randomness for
a sample of pictures anyway?"

* MUSHROOM IDENTIFIER - whatspauldoing writes,
"In your seemingly never-ending quest to get
geeks to make you iPhone apps, I wondered if
you could tout this as an idea. I've just moved
into a house with a north-facing garden and I
keep finding interesting mushrooms in my lawn.
The problem is I have no idea what's what in
mushroom land, so... I would like an app where
I can take a picture of the specimen and it
will come back with a likely match. I need to
know what's delicious and what's deadly!
Another problem could be that I have an Android
phone so I'd need an Android version as well,
please. Given that you are the voice of the
internets I'm sure you can sort it."

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribphilia: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Subscribicide: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKING YOUS:
This week credits have imaginary autobiography
titles in them. Issue was written by Rob 'I,
Robert' Manuel with David 'Luck of the Draw'
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by spicy_grandma,
jdkpummel, TheSnark, Philip_newzealand,
Damocles, humanthing, slippery doctore, MrKane,
Muncee, Pazuzu, Ian Woosnam. Additional linkage
and image challenge by Fraser 'Letting the cat
out of the bag' Lewry. Mike 'The Burning
Question' Trinder is QOTW bloke. Subjlols via
benito vasselini.

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP(s):
Back in the old days we used to run genuine
tips - avoiding gags as it seemed a too obvious
rip-off of Viz. But people wouldn't stop
sending gags in so we ended up running them
anyway. However, this week we're finding time
to mention again the @Heroswitzerland project,
to collect the oddest tips found in pikey
magazines.
http://bit.ly/kXmoT

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Vol 948 - Oct. 20, 2010 - What's Your Business Sign?

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange Quotes From Homer Simpson:

"English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"

"Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems."

"Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep. In a giant blender."

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

"Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family."

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - What's Your Business Sign?

What's Your Business Sign?

Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What's Your Business Sign?

MARKETING -- You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.

SALES -- Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY -- Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

ENGINEERING -- One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome."

ACCOUNTING -- The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

HUMAN RESOURCES -- Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.

MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT -- Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."

SENIOR MANAGEMENT -- (See above - Same sign, different title)

CUSTOMER SERVICE -- Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.

CONSULTANT -- Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills" are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.

RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER" -- As a "person" that profits from the success of others, most people who actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.

PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO -- You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggest the latter.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE DOLPHINS CRASH JUMPING WAKE OF BOAT - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/168707.html

STRANGE BICYCLES - UPSIDE DOWN! - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/169115.html

CIVIL WAR PICTURES - IRONCLAD USS MONITOR - FROM THE STERN - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/168097.html

STRANGE OLDE CLASSIC AUTOMOBILES - 1936 DELAHAYE - 135M - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/168771.html

STRANGE BIG YELLOW MUFFLER CAR - IT REALLY QUIET! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169005.html

RADIO FLYER - STRANGE LIL RED WAGON AUTO! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/169008.html

STRANGE CELEBRITY SECRETS - CHARLIZE THERON'S MOTHER KILLED FATHER IN FRONT TO HER! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/169128.html

BAD SURGERY - STARS LOOKING AWFUL! - LATOYA JACKSON - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169028.html

STRANGE VINTAGE EUROPEAN VEHICLES - 1913 SINGER - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/167899.html

STRANGE MOTORCYCLE SIGNED BY BARACK OBAMA & JOE BIDEN - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/169032.html

STRANGE ANIMAL ADOPTIONS - GORILLA & KITTEN - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/169088.html

STRANGE RARE & EXOTIC ANIMALS - GLASS FROG - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/169090.html

OLDE ONE ROOM SCHOOL HOUSE CLASSROOM - PE - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/169167.html

JENN STERGER - HOT NY JETS SIDELINE GAL - BRETT FAVRE'S TARGET - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/169205.html

DUMBEST CRIMINALS 2010 - MUG SHOTS - WORST DISGUISE EVER - MAGIC MARKER! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/169135.html

STRANGE HEAVY DUTY MOTORCYCLE - MANY CAST PARTS - ANY KNOW WHAT THIS IS? - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/169195.html

STRANGE RECREATION - 2nd BRIGADE REENACTS 1925 FORMATION IN 2009 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/169244.html

STRANGE EXPERIMENTAL AIRCRAFT - EXTRA NOSE? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169245.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - AA - TODAY'S CELEBRITY SCANDAL OR OUTRAGE OF THE WEEK / MONTH!

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/category/101268_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Eating With a Fork Once Considered Scandalous - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/169241.html

Why? Strange Answers to everyday Questions - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/169242.html

Strange Names of Unusual Items - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/169243.html

Blonde Payment Plan. - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/169196.html

Strange Facts About Shopping Malls - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/119817.html

Strange Business Facts - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/119816.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - WATER - SALT-WATER - Oceans - Fish - Sharks - Whales - Dolphins - Walrus

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100670_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 947 - Oct. 17, 2010 - Top 10 Lies Told by Grad Students

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange Quotes About New York City:

I love New York City; I've got a gun. - Charles Barkley

New York ... is a city of geometric heights, a petrified desert of grids and lattices, an inferno of greenish abstraction under a flat sky, a real Metropolis from which man is absent by his very accumulation. - Roland Barthes

New York is a sucked orange. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not only is New York City the nation's melting pot, it is also the casserole, the chafing dish and the charcoal grill. - John V Lindsay, Mayor of NYC, NY Times 10 Nov 66

A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners. - Mignon McLaughlin

New York, the nation's thyroid gland. - Christopher Morley

I moved to New York City for my health. I'm paranoid and New York was the only place where my fears were justified. - Anita Weiss

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Top 10 Lies Told by Grad Students

The Top Ten Lies Told By Graduate Students

10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.

9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/article/chapter.

8. My work has a lot of practical importance.

7. I would never date an undergraduate.

6. Your latest article was so inspiring.

5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.

4. I just have to read one more book and then I'll start writing my thesis

3. The department is giving me so much support.

2. My job prospects look really good.

1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE DANGERS - SWIRLING FIRE TORNADO - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/168709.html

STRANGE & SCARY MOTORCYCLES - THE PREDATOR! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/168995.html

STRANGE YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK SITE: MORNING GLORY POOL - 1 - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/168128.html

FORMULA FOIL 1 BY BMW - AWESOME JET BOAT! - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/168999.html

STRANGE OLDE CLASSIC AUTOS - 1906 LAURIN & KLEMENT VOITURETTE A - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/168286.html

STRANGE OLDE "BUILDING" TOYS - SKY RAIL BUILDING SET - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/168579.html

FARM DANGERS - GRAIN DELIVERY TRUCK COVERED WITH MOUNTAIN OF GRAIN FROM SILO ACCIDENT! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/169000.html

STRANGE CANDY APPLE RED CUSTOM 40'S FORD COFFIN! - http://www.strangevehicle.com/content/item/169002.html

STRANGE OLDE "BUILDING" TOYS - BRIDGE & TURNPIKE BUILDING SET - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/168580.html

GOLDEN TIGER - VERY RARE! - 1 - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/168946.html

HUNTING DANGERS - HUNTER BAGS HUGE ELK, DOESN'T SEE MOUNTAIN LION BEHIND HIM! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/169069.html

AMAZING 3-D IMAGE - COOL LADY - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/169070.html

STRANGE CELEBRITY SECRETS - LERA KUDRYAVTEVA - RUSSIAN PLAYBOY PLAYMATE - HUSBAND IN JAIL FOR RAPE AND ROBBERY - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/169132.html

STRANGE VINTAGE EUROPEAN VEHICLES - 1925 HANOMAG 2'10 PS KOMMISBROT - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/167896.html

STRANGE SCARY CLOUD - LIKE A BIG ROLL - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/168669.html

SCARY JACK-O-LANTERNS - WILD PUMPKIN CARVINGS! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/168932.html

TRANSGENDER (FORMER SWAT MEMBER) GOLFER SUES LPGA TO JOIN TOUR - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/168969.html

1949 DELAHAYE ROADSTER TYPE 175 S - WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL CAR - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/169030.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - AA - TODAY'S CELEBRITY SCANDAL OR OUTRAGE OF THE WEEK / MONTH!

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/category/101268_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Music Exam Answers - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/168935.html

20 Hilarious School Exam Answers - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/168997.html

The Best Resignation Letter Ever ! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/25363.html

Business Laws - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/101163.html

You Know It's Time to Get Out of Consulting When..... - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/100453.html

MBA Job Interviews - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/103273.html

=================================

The Featured New Category This Week - AA - TODAY'S CELEBRITY SCANDAL OR OUTRAGE OF THE WEEK / MONTH!

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/category/124_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html