Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Januar 2012

Sonntag, 29. Januar 2012

VOL 1081 - Jan. 29, 2012 - You Might Be British IF..............

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

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A Tribute Our French, British and American Pals!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_2438.html
STRANGE TRAVELS - ENGLAND & IRELAND

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_10030.html
STRANGE BICYCLE RACING PROBLEMS - ACCIDENTS - SPILLS - FUN - TOUR de FRANCE - OLD FRANCE PIXS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10707.html
STRANGE SWIMMING POOLS - ALL KINDS - SIZES - SHAPES - AFLOAT - PARKING

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10456.html
NEW IMAGES RECENTLY POSTED - OLDE PICTURES - LONDON ENGLAND - TURN OF THE CENTURY

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/news_10025.html
STRANGE & UNUSUAL WEDDING DRESSES - FROM CRAZY TO CASUAL TO SPECTACULAR!

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Strange Quotes on "America" and "The French"

"Americans are possibly the dumbest people on the planet. ...We Americans suffer from an enforced ignorance. We don't know about anything that's happening outside our country. Our stupidity is embarrassing." - Michael Moore

"In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is." - Geoffrey Cottrell

"America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top." - Charlie King

The French:

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
Norman Schwartzkopf.

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
Jacques Chirac, President of France

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." Regis Philbin.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Might Be British IF..............

Being British

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all?

Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET Coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

And finally...

In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE AFRICAN ANIMALS - BABY ELEPHANT SAYS HI TO CUTE LADY! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/180734.html

JENNIFER GREY AND PATRICK SWAYZE 1987 - DIRTY DANCING - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181109.html

STRANGE LAZY DOGS NAPPING IN THE WARM SUNBEAM! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181206.html

PAULA DEAN ANNOUNCES SHE HAS DIABETES - WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED! - BUTTER MOUNTAIN! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/181216.html

STRANGE WILD & CRAZY HAIRCUTS - STYLES AND HAIRDOS - ANGRY BIRDS MOHAWK! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181217.html

STRANGE OLDE MILITARY AIRCRAFT - FOUGA CM-170 MAGISTER - STRANGE YARD DISPLAY - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/181254.html

1957 NASH RAMBLER PININFARINA PALM BEACH CONCEPT CAR - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/180934.html

FOREST FIRE DANGERS - GREAT AERIAL SHOT OF WATER DROP JUST OVER THE HEADS OF FIREFIGHTER VOLUNTEERS - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/181062.html

STRANGE WELCOME HOME FOR DIVERTED AC-130 RETURNING IRAQ VETS AT NEW YORK'S LAGUARDIA AIRPORT - 1 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/181328.html

STRANGE CATERPILLAR MIMICS - SNAKES - LEAVES - BIRD DROPPINGS - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181329.html

CRUISE SHIP DANGERS - AMAZING PPS PRESENTATION - ITALIAN CRUISE SHIP COSTA CONCORDIA CAPSIZES ON ROCKS - ROUTE DETAILS - BEFORE AND AFTER PIXS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/181331.html

SEXY NIGELLA LAWSON - TV COOK vs GILLIAN MCKEITH TV HEALTH GURU - AT 51 YEAR OF AGE - HA! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/181343.html

STRANGE HORSE DRESSED UP AS A MILITARY JET PLANE! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/181344.html

STRANGE EDUCATION - GYM CLASS FUN - WATCHING A BLONDE CATCH A BALL! - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/181347.html

AMAZING HATCH/BIRTH OF A LITTLE STRIPED LIZARD - 20 PICTURE SEQUENCE - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181348.html

STRANGE NBA FANS - END ZONE CROWD FLASH SIGNS & PICTURES TO DISTRACT PLAYER AT FREETHROW LINE! - 1 - HOT CHEERLEADER - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181350.html

FIRE DANGERS - FOOL SMARSHES FLAMING BOTTLE WHICH EXPLODES AND COVERS HIM WITH FLAMES - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/181076.html

STRANGE HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION GROUP PICTURE - CREEPY - FIND THE MYSTERY! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/181363.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - AMERICANS - States - Citizens - Strange Regional Items and Places

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/100330_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- The Strange History of the Car Radio - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/181143.html

- Strange World War II Secret Weapon: the Prune - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/115435.html

- Strange Lightning Strikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/115624.html

- How to Speak Nuw Zulander .......... - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/123073.html

- You Might Be British IF.............. - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/121341.html

- How Many Frenchmen To Change a Lightbulb? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/24126.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - AMERICANS - States - Citizens - Strange Regional Items and Places

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/108_1.html

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Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

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HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

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Mittwoch, 25. Januar 2012

VOL 1080 - Jan. 25, 2012 - Strange Laws in Kentucky - Iowa - Illinois

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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A Tribute Our Everyone!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/news_8764.html
STRANGE FOOD, FISH AND PRODUCE FROM AROUND THE WORLD!

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_4082.html
WORLD WAR 1 - BRITISH ARMY RECRUITING & INFO POSTERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_10766.html
AMAZING MOUNTAIN CLIMBING DANGERS - SIGHTS - VISTAS

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10047.html
CHILD LABOR HORROR STORIES - EARLY 1900'S PICTURES - COAL MINES - MANUFACTURING - MILLS - NEWSBOYS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10949.html
NEW ACTION GIFS FROM MOVIES AND TV - SEINFELD - STAR WARS - STAR TREK - MISC

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Strange Notable Quotes From The Past That Relate To Today:

The current plight of the Costa Concordia which sank off the coast of Italy, reminds me of a comment made by Winston Churchill.

After his retirement he was cruising the Mediterranean on an Italian cruise liner. Some Italian journalists asked why an ex-British Prime Minister should chose an Italian ship.

"There are three things I like about being on an Italian cruise ship" said Churchill.

"First their cuisine is unsurpassed."

"Second their service is superb."

"And then, in time of emergency, there is none of this nonsense about women and children first."

-----

The Presidential Field according to Clarence Darrow:

"When I was a boy, I was told that anybody could become President;

I'm beginning to believe it!" ~ Clarence Darrow

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Laws in Kentucky - Iowa - Illinois

Kentucky

By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she"cannot hold onto the ground."

It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

A Kentucky law says that burglary can only be committed at night.

It is illegal for pigeons to fly over Bellevue, KY.

Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.

Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.

In Kentucky, "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."

An amendment to the above legislation: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses."

Iowa

Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

In Corning, Iowa, it is illegal to speak to anyone passing along the street or sidewalk.

Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you- or holding you in his arms.

In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the city, to wink at any female person with whom he is unacquainted."

Illinois

It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.

Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.

In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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OLDE EMERGENCY EQUIPMENT - HORSE DRAWN FIRE LADDER CART - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/181079.html

WORLDS STRANGEST TATTOOS - DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE "STUPID" TATTOOED ON MY FOREHEAD? - YES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181181.html

STRANGE MOBILE POOL TABLE - CLIMB INTO THE BACK SEAT TO "BREAK!" - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181183.html

RARE AUTO FIND! - 1950 CHEVROLET WITH 437 ORIGINAL MILES! - DRIVERS SIDE VIEW - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/181119.html

LARA LOGAN CBS NEWS REPORTER - SEXY DRESS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181278.html

DOG OWNERS - DOG ACTIONS FLOW CHART! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181281.html

STRANGE SMOKING PRODUCTS - RAINBOW CIGARETTES CREATE RAINBOW SMOKE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181282.html

MOTORCYCLE RACING DANGERS - SHOULDER BRUSHES AGAINST TRACK WALL AS HE RACES THROUGH THE CORNER - WOW! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181285.html

STRANGE HOME DECORATIONS - BATHROOM SINK MOUNTED ON COMPLETE BICYCLE! BASKET FULL OF TOWELS! NO FLAT TIRES PLEASE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181286.html

STRANGE BUSINESS EQUIPMENT - 'HOT' PIZZA SLICE VENDING MACHINE FROM GERMANY - DR. OETKERS PIZZAMATIC - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/181287.html

STRANGE AD PLACEMENT FRONT PAGE BELFAST TELEGRAPH - 'WIN A DREAM VACATION' AD OVER TOP PICTURE OF SINKING ITALIAN CRUISE LINER CONCORDIA! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/181288.html

STRANGE FUN MYSTERY PICTURES - FIND THE "CAT" ON THE BEACH - IT'S REALLY THERE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/181289.html

STRANGE EDUCATION PROBLEMS - ART TEACHERS NEED SERIOUS HELP - STICK FIGIRE "FIGURE" AT LEAST HE GOT THE RED HAIR RIGHT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181290.html

INTERNATIONAL POLICE ARREST DOWNLOAD KING "DOTCOM" CONFISCATE MANY LUXURY CARS WITH STRANGE VANITY PLATES! - AERIAL VIEW OF ESTATE - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/181300.html

INTERNATIONAL POLICE ARREST DOWNLOAD KING "DOTCOM" CONFISCATE MANY LUXURY CARS WITH STRANGE VANITY PLATES! - - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/181291.html

B-52 STRATOFORTRESS BOMBER DROPPING NEW 30,000 lb BUNKER BUSTER BOMB (MOP) - F-15 ESCORT - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/181311.html

DANGEROUS ANIMALS - SPITTING COBRA - NOTE THE VENOM LYING! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181313.html

STRANGE SCARY EVIL TREE MONSTER - BEWARE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181314.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - NASTY ACCIDENTS - NATURAL DISASTERS - POOR ROAD CONDITIONS - STRANGE PROBLEMS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100005_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

10 Strange Things About the FBI - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/155189.html

Top 10 Most Superstitious Athletes - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/156091.html

12 Strange Accidental Deaths - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/157099.html

8 Wedding Traditions - The Strange Origins - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/157217.html

Top 10 Strangest Mail Deliveries and Events - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/157456.html

10 Strange Medical Syndromes - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/158725.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SV - NASTY ACCIDENTS - NATURAL DISASTERS - POOR ROAD CONDITIONS - STRANGE PROBLEMS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

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Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Sonntag, 22. Januar 2012

VOL 1079 - Jan. 22, 2012 - Strange Animal Facts - Why Dogs Are Better Than Wives

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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A Tribute Our Animal Pals!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_438.html
STRANGE LITTLE TINY ANIMALS - MINIATURES - RUNTS OF THE LITTER

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_93.html
THE STRANGE WORLD OF SNAKES

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/news_8307.html
STRANGE FARM CHICKEN COOP PROBLEMS - FOXES - WOLVES - COYOTES - LYNX'S & SNAKES

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_4348.html
STRANGE WORLD OF INSECTS - CLOSE UP!

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_10684.html
STRANGE FARM PIGS WITH FULL BACK TATTOOS!

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Strange But Lesser Known Dog Breeds:

For all you dog lovers out there, here are some of the lessor known breeds that are being bred in different parts of the United States,

Cross breed Dogs:

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway

Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

Bull Terrier + Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Why Dogs Are Better Than Wives

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today It's already tomorrow in Australia

01. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.

02. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

03. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

04. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

05. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

06. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

07. A dog's parents never visit.

08. Dogs do not hate their bodies.

09. Dogs agree you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

10. Dogs do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.

11. Dogs seldom outlive you.

12. Dogs can't talk.

13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.

14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day

15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

16. Dogs like to go hunting.

17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.

18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.

19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would you get another dog?"

20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for free.

21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.

24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they just think it's interesting.

25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.

26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.

28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE CLOUDS AND WEATHER CONDITIONS - HUGE WALL CLOUD - INTENSE DOWNPOUR IN THE MIDDLE - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/180674.html

STRANGE AFRICAN ANIMALS - BABY ELEPHANT GOES FLYING AFTER KICK - ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/180733.html

STRANGE ACTION SPORTS - BLONDE TRACK STAR FAIL - HITS INVISIBLE WALL! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/180632.html

STRANGE AND GOOFY PEOPLE - CANADIAN SPIKED HAIR PRINCESS - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/180819.html

HOTTEST NBA DANCERS AND CHEERLEADER SQUADS - DALLAS MAVS - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/180862.html

B-52 BOMBER - FULL BOMB LOAD DISPLAY - B-52 FLYBY IN BACKGROUND - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181120.html

CRUISE SHIP DANGERS - ITALIAN CRUISE SHIP COSTA CONCORDIA CAPSIZES ON ROCKS - COWARD CAPTAIN - aka CHICKEN OF THE SEA! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/181158.html

CRUISE SHIP DANGERS - ITALIAN CRUISE SHIP COSTA CONCORDIA CAPSIZES ON ROCKS - AERIAL VIEW - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/181159.html

STRANGE JEWELRY - 5 PIECE SILVER "BLT" RING SET ! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181174.html

STRANGE CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS - WORLDS WORST FAMILY PICTURE XMAS CARDS! - GANG BANGER BROTHER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181175.html

STRANGE FAST FOOD PIZZA RECEIPT - SERVER NOTES PATRON AS "LADY CHINKY EYES!" - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/181176.html

OLDE RAILROAD HISTORY - STREAMLINERS - THE AMAZING OBSERVATION DESIGNED HIAWATHA - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/180953.html

OCCUPY THE FRIDGE - THE REAL 2% - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181124.html

STRANGE SPORTS - KARATE HEAD CHOP THRU FLAMING TILES GOES WRONG - HEAD COVER AFIRE! - OOPS - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/181077.html

FAT BOY DIVES INTO BACKYARD POOL SLIDES HEAD FIRST THRU SIDEWALL! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/181178.html

STRANGE AUSTRALIAN BICYCLE RACE AIDE STATION - GUYS IN BATHTUBS - A GENTS BATHROOM AND KANGAROO LOUNGING - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181197.html

STRANGE FIRE TRUCKS & RESCUE EQUIPMENT - HUGE AIRCRAFT MOCK UP - TRAINING EQUIPMENT - AIRPORT FIRE SIMULATOR - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/181095.html

PAULA DEAN ANNOUNCES SHE HAS DIABETES - WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED! - BUTTER MOUNTAIN! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/181216.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - MONKEYS - APES - Chimps - Orangutans - Baboons

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100645_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Sports Facts and Figures - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/181099.html

Important! 9 Crucial Personal Safety Tips - Especially for Women - MUST READ - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/181157.html

More Cat Trivia Than Any One Ever Needs ! - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/22937.html

Top 10 List of of Strange and Exotic Pets - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/139413.html

Pet Rules--Memo to the Family Dog and Cat - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/105433.html

Strange Animal Facts - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/113981.html

Top 10 Differences Between Cats & Dogs - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/25371.html

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Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Mittwoch, 18. Januar 2012

VOL 1078 - Jan. 18, 2012 - I Know Where You're From By The Way You Drive

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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A Tribute Our Everybody!

---------------------------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Check out The Specials!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_7411.html
DEATH DELIVERY - STRANGE AUTO & MOTORCYCLE HEARSES

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/news_8471.html
FARM FUN, FROLIC AND "THE FANCY LIFE!"

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_10322.html
STRANGE MILITARY SEAPLANES - WWI - WWI - KOREA - TODAY

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10059.html
OLDE EUROPEAN & US AUTO ADS & PRODUCT MODELS - 50'S, 60'S & 70'S

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_10145.html
STRANGE MILITARY PARADES AROUND THE WORLD - FULL DRESS UNIFORMS!

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Strange "My Philosophy on Success" Quotes:

I don't meet competition. I crush it. - Charles Revson

I'm not the type to get ulcers. I give them. - Ed Koch

I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an actor - Jack Nicholson, 1993

I always figured the American public wanted a solemn ass for president, so I went along with them. - Calvin Coolidge

I don't read books, I write them. - Henry Kissinger

I'm not the type to get ulcers. I give them. - Ed Koch

If people screw me, I screw back in spades. - Donald Trump

You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact. And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth. - John Lennon

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - -I Know Where You're From By The Way You Drive

How To Identify Where Drivers Are From Generally.

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York

One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator:
Boston

One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator:
California *with gun in lap: L.A.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy

One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female

Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another's car: Colorado

One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn't hit other motorists so as not to litter: Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate.

Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia male.

Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is now wearing a barrel: Las Vegas

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE FLOODING PROBLEMS - DEBRIS JAMS INTO MID CITY BRIDGE - BLOWN UP TO RELIEVE PRESSURE TO OPEN UP FLOOD WATER FLOW - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/180677.html

STRANGE AFRICAN ANIMALS - ELEPHANT TREAT IN INDIA - FROZEN FRUIT BLOCKS! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/180730.html

STRANGE CIRCUS FREAKS - FRANCESCO LENTINI - BORN WITH 3 LEGS! - 1 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/180660.html

STRANGE ACTION SPORTS - WWF WRESTLING INCOMPETENCE - ONE FALLS THRU ROPES AND THE OTHER MISSES BELLY FLOP! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/180628.html

STRANGE OLDE BUSINESSES - DRIVE IN TO! -"THE AUTO WASH BOWL" - CLEANS OFF HORSE MANURE AND ROAD DUST! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/180959.html

STRANGE TRAVELS - AMAZING LONG PICTURE - EUROPEAN CITY - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/181025.html

STRANGE FIRE DANGERS - AMAZING FIRE TORNADO FUNNEL LOOPS UP TO THE SKY - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/181065.html

OLDE RAILROAD HISTORY - RAILROAD TRACK BICYCLES - OUT FOR A DAYS FAMILY ADVENTURE - GET OFF THE TRACKS WHEN YOU HEAR THE TRAIN! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/180949.html

DOLLY PARTON'S NEW TINY ROSE TATTOO - STILL LOOKING GOOD - SEXY WHITE DRESS - 1 - IT'S BETWEEN THE TOWERS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181032.html

VICTORIA SILVSTEDT - WHITE BIKINI - WALKING ON A STRANGE BEACH - WHALE WATCHING? - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/181040.html

STRANGE FIRE FIGHTING AIRCRAFT - COULSON FLYING TANKER (HAWAIIAN MARS) MAKES A DANGEROUS LOW WATER PICKUP - HUGE AMPHIBIOUS WATER DROP TAKER LANDS ON LAKE - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/181093.html

1933 NASH - LABATT'S STREAMLINER - UNIQUE ART DECO DESIGN - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/180940.html

STRANGE RELIGIOUS ITEMS - AMISH COUPLE CHECKING OUT THE MENU AT HOOTERS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181114.html

DEER HUNTERS SURPRISE - FULL GROWN BEAR SITTING IN HIS ELEVATE TREE DEER STAND! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/181115.html

STRANGE RELIGIOUS ITEMS - EUROPEAN PARADE DEPICTION OF POPE AND CATHOLIC CHURCH - DINOSAUR WITH RATS AS CONGREGATION! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/180908.html

ONE OF LIFE'S MYSTERIES - SNOOKIE READING A BOOK ON A PLAYGROUND ROCKING HORSE! -
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181107.html

FUNNY PRANK -ACTION GIF - SODA BOTTLE FIZZER TRICK BOTTLE CAP - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/181113.html

BEST POLITICAL CARTOON OF THE CENTURY - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/181102.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - STEALTH - AIRPLANES - SHIPS - SECRET EQUIPMENT - BLACK OPS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/100686_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Lawsuits - Can Mountain Dew Really Dissolve a Mouse Carcass? - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181096.html

- The Strangest Stories of 2011 - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/181097.html

- What's Your Business Sign? - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/24953.html

- World's Worst Jobs Listed - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/25076.html

- The Best Resignation Letter Ever ! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/25363.html

- 25 Ways to Cope With Stress - http://www.strangemedical.com/content/item/101165.html

==================================

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

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Sonntag, 15. Januar 2012

VOL 1077 - Jan. 15, 2012 - Strange Words and Their Origins

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------------------------

A Tribute Our Everybody!

---------------------------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Check out The Specials!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_11045.html
STRANGE LONG PICTURE SERIES - WEIRDNESS FROM AROUND THE WORLD! - 2

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_11046.html
STRANGE LONG PICTURE SERIES - WEIRDNESS FROM AROUND THE WORLD! - 3

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10843.html
OLDE COCA COLA MARKETING SIGNS - CAMPAIGNS & VEHICLES - DELIVERY TRUCKS - HUGE OUTDOOR SIGNS - ADVERTISING PROMOTIONS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_8211.html
1950 CHEVROLET CLUB COUPE - 437 ORIGINAL ACTUAL MILES! - AND A FEW OTHER 1950 CARS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10286.html
STRANGE AFRICAN MADE FURNITURE - SKINS, TUSKS & HORNS! - AMAZING COUCHES - CHAIRS - TABLES - CHESTS

==================================

Strange Quotes About Cosmetic Surgery:

A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy. - Joan Rivers

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. - Rita Rudner

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. Rita Rudner

If anybody says their facelift doesn't hurt, they're lying. It was like I'd spent the night with an axe murderer. - Sharon Osbourne

The thing you notice here after America is how refreshingly ordinary people look because they haven't had their chin wrapped around the back of their ears. - Sir Ian McKellen

Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. - Dolly Parton

They showed this one beautiful picture of me recently and they had all the things that I had done. I thought it was a great compliment for everybody to think I've had plastic surgery. - Cybill Shepherd - 55-year-old actress denying she had plastic surgery and flattered because people thought she had.

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Words and Their Origins

The term "moron" entered our vocabulary when Molière, in his play La Princesse d'Elide, gave a dim-witted character the name Moron.

The phrase, "Often a bridesmaid but never a bride," actually comes from an advertisement for Listerine mouthwash. The text was written by Milton Feasley and first appeared in 1925. The advertisement was so successful that it ran for more than 10 years.

Limousines originally got their name because they were first built in the Limousin region of France.

Caterpillar" means "hairy cat" in Old French.

"Pez" (as in the candy) comes from the German, PfeffErminZ, meaning peppermint.

"Squash" comes from a Native American word, "isquoutersquash," which means "green thing eaten green."

Spain literally means "the land of rabbits."

The word "gymnasium" comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means "to exercise na ked."

The word "mafia" was created as an acronym for Morte alla francia italia adela, meaning literally "Death to the French is Italy's cry."

The word "avocado" comes from the Spanish word "aguacate," which in turn is derived from the Aztec word "ahuacatl" which meant test icle.

The "ZIP" in "ZIP code" stands for "Zoning Improvement Plan."

According to an old Egyptian text, a delicate nerve runs from the fourth finger of a person's left hand to their heart, thus explaining the origin why that finger is the "wedding finger."

If you knock on wood, the spririt in the tree will protect you.

The sh*tty end of the stick? Well,you got that when you grabbed the wrong end of the pole used to lift the bucket in the outhouse. bummer!

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE CLOUDS AND WEATHER CONDITIONS - SNEAKING OVER THE RIDGE TOPS - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/180673.html

SPORTS DANGERS ACTION GIF - PARASAILER GLIDES ALONG VALLEY FLOOR RIGHT INTO TRUCK DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/180718.html

STRANGE AFRICAN ANIMALS - ELEPHANT PEDICURE - CUTE RED NAIL POLISH! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/180729.html

STRANGE SWEDES EATING OBAMA SAUSAGE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/180662.html

STRANGE NFL MATCHUP - TEBOW vs BRADY - NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS vs DENVER BRONCOS - WHO WILL GO TO THE SUPERBOWL? - WHISPERING TO EACH OTHER - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/180977.html

CAMERON DIAZ'S HOT BIKINI LOOK - DID SHE HAVE SOME NEW EQUIPMENT INSTALLED? - 1 - COMPARISON TO "OLD" TIMES - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/181028.html

STRANGE RELIGIOUS ITEMS - AMISH GIRL SKATEBOARDING DOWN THE ROAD! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/180905.html

STRANGE OLDE MOTORCYCLES - UNUSUAL FRONT WHEEL DRIVE ART DECO DESIGN 1930'S KILLINGER AND FREUND MOTORRAD - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/180931.html

1972 MASERATI BOOMERANG CONCEPT - STRANGE STEERING WHEEL WITH ALL DASHBOARD GAUGES INCORPORATED ! - CLOSE UP - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/180935.html

1972 MASERATI BOOMERANG CONCEPT - - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/180937.html

STRANGE MILITARY CONCEPT VEHICLE - 1944 MINNEAPOLIS MOLINE PROTOTYPE JEEP FOR US MILITARY CONTRACT PROPOSAL - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/180943.html

STRANGE " MOVIE THEME" COSTUMED DOGS - SILENCE OF THE LAMBS - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/181005.html

STRANGE GHOST PICTURES - LORD COMBERMERE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/180622.html

STRANGE OLDE STARZ - KATHARINE HEPBURN - "MACHO MAN" OLDE STAR - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/180932.html

HOTTEST NBA DANCERS AND CHEERLEADER SQUADS - PHOENIX SUNS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/180857.html

STRANGE AND GOOFY PEOPLE - GRANDMA RIDING A RAZOR SCOOTER IN THE BIKE LANE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/180821.html

WORLDS MOST IMPORTANT BOOK HAS FINALLY ARRIVED - CHECK IT OUT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/180929.html

STRANGE NFL MATCHUP - TEBOW vs BRADY - NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS vs DENVER BRONCOS - WHO WILL GO TO THE SUPERBOWL? - HOT GIRLFRIENDS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/180974.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - BRIDGES - HIGHWAYS - TUNNELS - GAS STATIONS - DRIVE INNS - SCARY ROADS AND DETOURS

http://www.strangedangers.com/content/category/100676_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Strange E-Mail Fun - E-Mooning - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/181024.html

- You May Be From Canada If… - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/25585.html

- You Know You're Italian When.... - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/24903.html

- You Might be a Leprechaun if....... - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/25502.html

- You Know You're Italian If... - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/25344.html

- You Might Be A Physics Major if........... - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/127882.html

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Freitag, 13. Januar 2012

[b3ta] "Can Bob Holness die again today? We liked the nostalgia last Friday"

This Week:
* STREET ART - best of 2011
* SLOTH - drip-dry baby
* SOCIOLOGISTS - review children's books

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're eating our
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | austerity biscuits
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| ...together"

B3ta email 511 - 13 Fri 2011

Read this issue on tech that'll be binned by 2013:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue511/

Lucky: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unlucky: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Blu-Ray player with iPlayer + DivX

One of the kids broke our DVD player over Xmas,
so we decided to get a new one with Blu-Ray.
Can't say we've bothered buying any Blu-Ray
movies yet but it's handy to have a player
with built-in BBC iPlayer (works off your
Wifi), streams movies off our home network and
also plays DivX off USB thumbdrives.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B004ZCHEQ2/b3ta-21

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us. We won't bite,
unless you pay us to bite.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other than making dirty protests

>> Have you forgotten what happens? <<
"Have you forgotten what happens when you eat
Kellogg's Cornflakes?" queries ratbanjos. If
you have, here's a flashback.
http://upthear.se/flakes

>> Me and Reg <<
Enjoyable shaggy dog tale from 'freelance
locksmith' cidercomic. "Apologies for length,"
he stutters.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/A_short_film_we_made_the_other_day

>> Tumbleweeds <<
Save this link for when your jokes go down
badly. A montage of tumbleweeds from various
films and tv shows. Via dunk3d.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Tumbleweeds

>> Harrison Ford watches 'Harrison Ford watches
Indiana Jones for the first time' for the
first time << "A lot of people have been
getting angry at the vid I uploaded last week,
that it was a hoax and faaake," explains
dogfood. "Thought I'd put a nail in the coffin
of those rumours."
http://upthear.se/fordy

>> I've got a house that looks like me <<
"This is a factual song about a factual
situation," claims exploding stallion Joel
Veitch. "At least, it will be fact when I am
rich enough." Lovely bit of vid by Butters.
NSFW: Cock.
http://b3ta.com/links/Ive_Got_A_House_That_Looks_Like_Me

>> The Ballad Of Worrall Thompson <<
Fans of disgraced, bearded TV chefs have been
glued to the news outlets as Antony Worrall
Thompson's shoplifting saga continues to
unfold. Here's a Fat Boab song and b3ta folks'
photoshops of a man we predict as a future
Celeb Big Brother contestant.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Ballad_Of_Worral_Thompson

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Books 2012

We always need something to read. There's only
so much staring at naked people's bits we can
take:
http://b3ta.com/questions/books2012/

* OM NOM - "'In the light of the moon, a
little egg lay on a leaf.' The humble origins
of the 'little' egg and 'tiny' caterpillar and
his quest for nourishment can be seen as a
metaphor for sexual growth, where desire
cannot be sated until, having sampled a
smörgåsbord on the Saturday comprising 'one
piece of chocolate cake, one ice cream cone,
one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one
slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of
cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake and one
slice of watermelon', he can take no more and
becomes a 'big, fat caterpillar'. The Freudian
depictions of the food - and of the
caterpillar himself - reinforce the metaphor:
size (and shape) is everything. Previous
suggestions (Catface, 2010) that the story is
a literal reading of
eating-overeating-transformation can be
dismissed as both reductionist and
essentialist. The transformation, when it does
occur, deals briefly with the liminal state as
a necessary transition into full awareness and
power - a phallocentric triumph. I have read
this book to my child an estimated 485 times.
That's about 484 times where I've had to
pretend to sound enthusiastic about a bug.
Don't even start me on 'We're going on a
motherfucking bear hunt.'"
(crackhouseceilidhband)

* PLANTS - "Once when Terry Pratchett was
doing a Q&A thing at a signing for 'The Last
Continent' there were about 50-100 people
present. There was time for one more question;
I raised my hand. 'You, with the glasses at
the back,' said Sir Terry. 'Fuck', thinks I,
'I didn't expect to have a question answered
and all the good ones pertinent to the book
and his previous writings have been asked...
Ah, I know, he keeps carnivorous plants, I'll
ask him how they're doing.' Silence greeted
the question. Followed by, '...They're doing
well, thanks.' And that's why I asked him to
sign my copy 'To the idiot with the question
about plants.' As a constant reminder that I
shouldn't talk, ever." (Funkenschlag)

* SPOILERS - "We read Of Mice and Men at
school. A great book, somewhat tempered by the
fact that come chapter 3 or thereabouts,
someone had scrawled 'I don't want to spoil
all the fun but Lennie gets shot on page
113.'" (The Silent Channel)

>> This Week's Question - Messing with People <<
What have you done to fuck with people? Was it
a long, carefully-planned piece of
psychological warfare, or do you favour quick,
off-the-cuff comments that confuse the
terminally gullible? Have you been dicked
with, and only realised many years later? Are
you being dicked right now? Talk to us here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/messingwithheads/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Useless stock photos <<
Not out-of-focus pics of Oxo and Knorr cubes
but library photos so specific and odd you
can't imagine placing them with any story. You
might laugh. If the internet hadn't deadened
your capacity for joy at anything that isn't
misfortune.
http://bit.ly/hPlKhV

>> Restart nostalgia <<
If you're addicted to watching old PCs reboot
then have we got a website for you. Fill your
boots, reboot obsessives.
http://www.therestartpage.com/

>> Bestest comic strip ever <<
A fantasy about how adverts could be improved,
ending with the immortal line, "All
commercials are now just a flaming baby skull
barking ethnic slurs." A parable for our
entire culture of poshlost. (Google the word
poshlost. It's a very good word that we all
should learn.)
http://bit.ly/AF3Dar

>> Street Art - Best of 2011 <<
The transformative quality of art can make you
see the world anew. Walk your streets and
imagine how a bit of tinkering could make
people smile with joy.
http://www.streetartutopia.com/?p=5982

>> "Tiny things I hate" <<
Great blog listing in extreme detail the
author's pet hates. Here's a quick list of our
own.
1. People who press the pedestrian crossing
button even though we've already pressed it.
It's like they're saying we're rubbish at
button pushing. Rude.
2. People who talk to us from another room
without raising their voice expecting us to be
able to hear. Or walk in so we can hear. Rude.
3. People who email B3ta with "I've got an
idea for a website, if we built it, would you
cover it?" Er.. no idea. Build it and then
we'll know if it's any good. Rude!
http://tinythingsihate.blogspot.com

>> Total Perspective Vortex <<
Or as Carl Sagan put it, "Our posturings, our
imagined self-importance, the delusion that we
have some privileged position in the Universe,
are challenged by this point of pale light.
Our planet is a lonely speck in the great
enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in
all this vastness, there is no hint that help
will come from elsewhere to save us from
ourselves." Happy new year.
http://www.scaleofuniverse.com

-------------------------------------------------

: PODCASTY BOLLOCKS
Stick this in your CD Discman & walk in traffic:

You've probably heard it by now but the
American Life podcast on Foxconn - the Chinese
company that manufactures much of our
electronic gizmos - shines light into dark
heart of globalism. Highlights include:

* Unions illegal except for the official state
union who, if you go to them with a complaint,
puts you on a blacklist and you don't work
again

* Employee smashes hands in equipment -
resulting in disability, before being fired
for slowness.

* Staff exposed to chemicals that means their
hands are permanently shaking - screwed by the
time they are 26.

It's hard to think of a positive angle on
this. Large parts of the West's manufacturing
base have been shut down, destroying
communities and their jobs given to slaves.
Way to go power elite - loving your work.
(Sent from an iPhone).
http://upthear.se/miserypodcast

-------------------------------------------------

: SOME JOKES TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD AFTER LECTURE
(We wrote these ourselves, can you tell?)

* Knock knock. Who's there? Lucy? Lucy who?
Loo seat is broken, can I borrow your bog?

* What goes ha ha ha ha bonk? A laughing
prostitute.

* What do you get if you pour boiling water
down a rabbit warren? Six months to a year.

* Doctor Doctor I feel like a pair of
curtains. Then pull yourself together. That'll
be £5,000 please. Privatisation innit.

* Waiter waiter there's a shit in my soup.
Well yes, this is a coprophagiac restaurant
and you ordered shit soup.

There you go. B3ta newsletter is all cheerful
again. Yay kittens.

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Baby sloths!

@Tannice_ writes, "this, without doubt, is the
best drip-drying baby sloth video you'll ever see."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1mAGQAw3Oc

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
A tiny cinema, where the usherette is Mr Clippy

>> Culinary Propaganda <<
Totalitarian Chef Bartek tells you how you
will eat. With inexplicable guest appearances
from what appears to be Odin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJZd-Oge5_E

>> Pizza boomerang <<
A lot of ads emphasise the positive qualities
of the product. Junk food makers tend to go
with "the world is an absurd collection of
unconnected events, so eating our food might
not kill you. Also, isn't Bill Lumbergh hot?"
http://youtu.be/GrKSWocbbdw

>> A Cappella Prodigy <<
Full-on choir performs a medley of electronic
dance hits, using only their voiceboxes.
Wisely, they avoid doing 'Charlie Says', which
really fucks up your throat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuYutmFPPK4

>> "The Page Turner" <<
If Heath Robinson had invented the Kindle -
maximum effort for absolutely minimum, but
delightful, result.
http://upthear.se/pagey

>> An HONEST James Bond theme <<
The lyrics to the 007 theme turn out to be
Bond boasting about banging bitches and being
suave.
http://upthear.se/bondytwat

>> Fotoshop by Adobé <<
The beauty industry's best-kept secret
revealed, or at least ridiculed for sniggering
geeks.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Fotoshop_by_Adob

>> The Lambshank Redemption <<
Successful chef Antony Worrall Thompson's
world changes forever, when he's sentenced to
life imprisonment at Lambshank Penitentiary.
NSFW: Poignant. Er, we mean NSFW: norks.
http://upthear.se/cheftwat

-------------------------------------------------

: AMAZON REVIEWS THAT MAKE YOU GO HA!
Sociologist reviews Mr Men books

Let's just quote his entire review of Mr Messy
- it's 100% brilliant:

If '1984' or 'The Trial' had been a children's
book, Mr Messy would be it. No literary
character has ever been so fully and
categorically obliterated by the forces of
social control. Hargreaves may well pay homage
to Kafka and Orwell in this work, but he also
goes beyond them.

We meet Mr Messy - a man whose entire
day-to-day existence is the undiluted
expression of his individuality. His very
untidiness is a metaphor for his blissful and
unselfconscious disregard for the Social
Order. Yes, there are times when he himself is
a victim of this individuality - as when he
trips over a brush he has left on his garden
path - but he goes through life with a smile
on his face.

That is, until a chance meeting with Mr Neat
and Mr Tidy - the archetypal men in suits.
They set about a merciless programme of social
engineering and indoctrination that we are
left in no doubt is in flagrant violation of
his free will. 'But I like being messy,' he
protests as they anonymize both his home and
his person with their relentless cleaning
activity, a symbolism thinly-veiled.

This process is so thorough that by the end of
it he is unrecognizable - a homogenized pink
blob, no longer truly himself (that vibrant
Pollock-like scribble of before). He smiles
the smile of a brainwashed automaton, blandly
accepting what he has been given no agency to
question or refuse. It is in this very smile
that the sheer horror of what we have seen to
occur is at its most acute.

Somewhere behind this blank expression though
is a latent anger - a trace of self-knowledge
as to what he once was - in the barbed
observation he makes to Neat and Tidy that
they have even deprived him of his name.

The book ends with a dry reminder from
Hargreaves that just as with the secret police
in some totalitarian regime, our own small
expressions of uniqueness and volition may
also result in a visit from these sinister
suited agents."

More here, comrades:
http://upthear.se/funnyreviews

-------------------------------------------------

: FOLLOW FRIDAY
Your guide to Twitter "lols"

@StealthMountain alerts Twitter users who've
typed "sneak peak" when they meant "sneak peek"
then favourites the replies. Very gentle
trolling, basically.
https://twitter.com/#!/StealthMountain/favorites

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Stamp Challenge

Last week we wanted you to make stamp designs
for the Royal Jubilee. Apparently it's 1977
again and the Queen wants us all to have a
street party or something. Anyway, good excuse
to thumb our noses at the old Nazis.

Our favourites included:

* KATE MIDDLETON GETS MAIL - BTW it was her
birthday this week so happy birthday Kate
Middleton! We'd buy you a gift but we're a bit
skint after helping pay for your wedding.
Which you didn't invite us to.
http://b3ta.com/board/10650658

* CHARLES HAS BIG EARS - you know why he has
big ears? Because Noddy wouldn't pay the
ransom. (ha ha ha circa 1977 again)
http://b3ta.com/board/10655021

* QUEEN AND CORGI - if you see a Queen doing
this it's a sure sign of worms. Crush some
Bob Martin worming tablets into her delicious
meaty Queen-chow.
http://b3ta.com/board/10656094

All these images and the highest voted by
you can be found here - because we have real
democratic elements in B3ta. Yay.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/jubileestamp/

>> New challenge: Right to Parody <<
This week we're supporting the Open Rights
Group and their "Right to Parody" campaign.
It's about getting UK law changed so we don't
get sent to prison for making shit photoshops.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/righttoparody/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* CASHPOINT EASTER EGGS REFUTED - Mat, who
assures us he does this stuff for a living,
writes, "The comment in the newsletter about
'typing an amount not divisible by 5 at an ATM
will reveal how much in the machine' is indeed
complete, unadulterated bollocks!

"Replenishment figures and cash levels are
never displayed except in 'supervisor' mode --
which can only be entered by opening the
cabinet or safe.

"Typing an amount not divisible by the lowest
denomination in the machine will simply result
in the ATM's workflow branching to a screen to
inform you that you need to try again.

"Some ATMs show a 'current screen ID' which is
a four-digit code (sometimes in hex) in the
top right corner - for exception/error
screens. I bet the bloke who told you this saw
that and thought he'd seen something secret.

* CASHPOINT EASTER EGGS CONFIRMED - Nirmeth &
HarleyQuinn1234 write, "Me and the missus were
at the ATM tonight and thought to check the
cashpoint easter egg mentioned in the
newsletter. And it works!"
http://neilmasters.co.uk/images/cash_machine_value.jpg

BTW: We suspect this figure doesn't represent
the total amount in the machine but something
else. Maybe something to do with lizards.

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
Slowest pee ever

When you pee it normally turns into a torrent
pretty damn quickly - can you train your urine
muscles only to dribble it out? We don't mean
stop/start, that would be rubbish, but control
the volume per second. How long can you make a
piss last? Great game for all the family.

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* RACE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS - Do white people
disproportionately follow white people? Has
anyone studied following patterns? Are our
communities mixed but our social networks
following some unconscious apartheid?

* APP IDEA - 'Cassette Deck': Record up to
90 mins of audio in two 45 mins chunks.
Additional C90s available as in-app purchase.

* THE ONLY WAY IS CHINA - a documentary about
the pampered lives of the children of Chinese
industrialists. Are they having tit jobs? No
idea, but we like the title anyway.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Happiness: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Death: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob "I've got tits"
Manuel with David "I've got a minge"
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by @qwghlm ,
@ImVincentMurphy, Fluffster, judderman,
Stashie, h7dd3rs, maryepworth, @jongomm,
@qwghlm, @tadd31, @HurricaneMedia,
quadraspazzed on a lifeglug, @ricardopresto
Top Tippery by SonoraAeroClub. Additional
linkage and image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is a good bloke.

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
Make your other half think the cat's got a
tapeworm by sticking a grain of rice to its
arsehole.

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Mittwoch, 11. Januar 2012

VOL 1076 - Jan. 11, 2012 - Strange Cultural Differences - You Might Be British IF..............

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------------------------

A Tribute Our British Pals!

---------------------------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Check out The Specials!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_8632.html
BRITISH ROYALTY - PRINCE WILLIAM NOW ENGAGED TO KATE MIDDLETON!

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_3169.html
VISIT THE UNITED KINGDOM - IT'S REALLY STRANGE!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10678.html
BRITISH ROYAL WEDDING - PRINCE WILLIAM TO KAYE MIDDLETON - CRAZY HATS - FASHION - A SPECTACLE!!

http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/news_9120.html
STRANGE BRITISH ROYALTY & CARS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_4082.html
WORLD WAR 1 - BRITISH ARMY RECRUITING & INFO POSTERS

==================================

Strange British Sayings – British Slang – British Words:

Wanker: Wanker - Time For A Little Anecdote. My English Friend and I were Driving Along When a Maniac Almost Took off the Side of My Car. In Unison We Both Yelled WANKER Out the Window. It Was A Thing of Beauty!

Cheeky Bugger: Cheeky Bugger! - Naughty. Someone Comments That You've Got A Nice Pair (Rack, To The Americans), Call Them This!

Get Knotted!: Get Knotted! - A Not So Polite Way to Tell Someone Who's Being a Bit of a Nuisance to Get Stuffed.

Get Stuffed! – Faff Off Not Doing the Trick, Then? Try This Slightly More Obvious Expression. This Cool Design Gets Funny UK T-Shirts Stamp of Approval. Don't You Wish You Had a T-shirt Like This at School? Could Have Saved You the World of Time!

I Don't Give a Toss: I Don't Give a Toss - A great British Slang phrase that simply means, "I don't care".

Chuffed to Bits: Chuffed to Bits - This is another great British Slang Term. It means very pleased with or very happy about something and is very similar to another British Saying, "Pleased as Punch".

Chip Butty: Chip Butty - This unusual British Slang word is actually a food group unto itself in the UK. It is beyond fattening in its construction. Made from a bread roll, spread lovingly with lashings of butter and stuffed to the rafters with chips, it is guaranteed to clog up those arteries in a hurry. Dieters be for warned!

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Might Be British IF..............

Being British

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a

Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all?

Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET Coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9 Volt battery works on their tongue.