Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: VOL 1074 - Jan. 04, 2012

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

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Strange Quotes About Cosmetic Surgery:

A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy. - Joan Rivers

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. - Rita Rudner

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
Rita Rudner

If anybody says their facelift doesn't hurt, they're lying. It was like I'd spent the night with an axe murderer. - Sharon Osbourne

The thing you notice here after America is how refreshingly ordinary people look because they haven't had their chin wrapped around the back of their ears. - Sir Ian McKellen

Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. - Dolly Parton

They showed this one beautiful picture of me recently and they had all the things that I had done. I thought it was a great compliment for everybody to think I've had plastic surgery. - Cybill Shepherd - 55-year-old actress denying she had plastic surgery and flattered because people thought she had.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Strange Insights and Deep Thoughts

1. ON METAPHYSICS
Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.

2. ON DEEP THOUGHTS
A day without sunshine is like night.

3. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES
There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?

4. ON HIGHER EDUCATION
College is a fountain of knowledge... and the students are there to drink.

5. ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

6. ON YOUTH
Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk.
-- Stephen King, 3/8/90

6. ON PROBLEM SOLVING
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.
-- Abraham Maslow

7. ON MATERIALISM
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.

8. ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES
Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!

9. ON INFINITY
If you had everything, where would you keep it?

10. ON ECONOMICS
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

11. ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University

12. ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?

13. ON DATING
When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.

14. ON POETIC LOVE
When you're swimmin' in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That's a moray!
-- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

15. ON MODERNISM
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

16. ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.

17. ON EXTINCTION
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Dienstag, 3. Januar 2012

VOL 1074 - Jan. 04, 2012 - Strange Insights and Deep Thoughts

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