Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 875 - Feb. 07, 2010

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Time for something NEW - we never disappoint!

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http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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Strange Insults:

Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.

Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

She has a nice butter face. Everything looks nice, but her face.

She thinks the rear view mirror is for putting on make-up.

Do you want do die stupid?

Do you want me to accept you as you are or do you want me to like you?

Doesn't know the meaning of the word fear, but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.

Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - 15 Strange New Uses For VODKA!

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

13 Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.

15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

And silly me. I've only been drinking the stuff!!!

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 7. Februar 2010

Vol 875 - Feb. 07, 2010 - 15 Strange New Uses For VODKA!

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