Mittwoch, 21. Januar 2009

Vol 766 - Jan 21, 2009 - Strange Marketing Lingo Translations

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Strange Business Quotes:

I like work; It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. [Jerome K. Jerome]

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages. [Edwin H. Stuart]

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated; you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. [William Lloyd George]

The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously. [Hubert H. Humphrey]

Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates. [Don Marquis]

Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. [Dwight D. Eisenhower]

To lead the people, walk behind them. [Lao-Tzu]

A jury [in America very often] consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. [Robert Frost]

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Marketing Lingo Translations


SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY
or
DEFINING COMPUTER TERMS FROM A "MARKETING" POINT OF VIEW


ALL NEW -- The software is not compatible with previous versions.

ADVANCED DESIGN -- Upper management doesn't understand it.

BREAKTHROUGH -- It nearly booted on the first try.

NEW -- It comes in different colors from the previous version.

DESIGN SIMPLICITY -- It was developed on a shoe-string budget.

EXCLUSIVE -- We're the only ones who have the documentation.

FIELD TESTED -- Manufacturing doesn't have a test system.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION -- All parameters are hard coded.

FUTURISTIC -- It only runs on the next-generation supercomputer.

HIGH ACCURACY -- All the directories compare.

IT'S HERE AT LAST -- We've released a 26-week project in 48 weeks.

MAINTENANCE FREE -- It's impossible to fix.

MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS -- It compiles without errors.

PERFORMANCE PROVEN -- It works through beta test.

REVOLUTIONARY -- The disk drives go round and round.

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED -- We'll send you another copy if it fails.

STOCK ITEM -- We shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably.

UNMATCHED -- It's almost as good as the competition.

UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE -- Nothing ever ran this slow before.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -- We finally got one to work.


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE AND GOOFY HOUSES! - AWAITING HIGH TIDE! - ON STILTS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146277.html


STRANGE HORSE RACE - WITH BLACK BEARS AS JOCKEY'S! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/146616.html


STRANGE COLORFUL FROGS! BLUE - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/146619.html


STRANGE FOREIGN POLICE BRUTALITY CAUGHT ON CAMERA? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146672.html


FOREIGN RIOT SQUAD POLICE - SOME COUNTRIES HAVE BETTER VEHICLES - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/146679.html


LLAMA HIGH IN THE ANDES - MACHU PICHU - PERU - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146156.html


YOUR MORNING CAMPING WAKE UP CALL! - BEAR AT TENT DOOR! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/146159.html


ALWAYS CHECK YOUR CHILD'S HOMEWORK BEFORE IT GETS TURNED IN! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146682.html


HUGE RATTLESNAKE KILLED ON GEORGIA GOLF COURSE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146688.html


STRANGE NEW CHOCOLATE BEER FROM JAPAN - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/146692.html


COOL AERIAL VIEW OF NAVAL DISPLAY - AIR CRAFT CARRIER - SUBMARINE & SST - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/146693.html


DANGEROUS ISLAND LANDING STRIP - WATCH YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU WALK THE BEACH! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146694.html


STRANGE OLDE TOYS - SPACE STATION HELMET AND GOGGLES - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/146697.html


STRANGE OLDE FISHING PICTURE - WELL DRESSED LADY WITH A HUGE FISH! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/146699.html


STRANGE PRIVATE AIRPLANE ACCIDENT - RIGHT ON TOP OF ANOTHER! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/146695.html


MOUNTAIN CLIMBING DANGERS - FROZEN ICE WALL COLLAPSES NEXT TO 2 CLIMBERS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146696.html


STRANGE AERIAL VIEW OF SAN ANDREAS FAULT - ORCHARD TREES NOW OUT OF LINE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146698.html


STRANGE UNICYCLE RIDER ON TOP OF SAN FRANCISCO BAY BRIDGE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146700.html


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - WATER - FRESH WATER - Lakes - Ponds - Fish - Amphibians - Rivers - Ducks

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100669_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Cheetah - Fastest Land Mammal on Earth! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/146628.html


Whales - The Biggest Living Mammal on Earth - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/146629.html


The Goliath Beetle - The Largest Beetle on Earth - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146630.html


Vincent Van Gogh - Penniless - Sold Only 1 Painting During His Lifetime! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146631.html


What Religion is Your Bra? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/25033.html


Church Bulletin Bloopers - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/24833.html


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The Featured Humor Category This Week - College - University - High School - Teacher/Prof

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/110_1.html

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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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