Mittwoch, 7. November 2007

Vol 640 - Nov 7, 2007 - Real Answers From Traffic School Exams

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Quotes from "Famous" Mothers - Part 1

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER:
"I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple!"

MARY'S MOTHER:
"I'm not upset the you lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you!"

BATMAN'S MOTHER:
"It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance will be!"

GOLDILOCK'S MOTHER:
"I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the bear family. You know anything about this Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER:
"Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get of your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something....?"

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Real Answers From Traffic School Exams

Clever Drivers

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's traffic school. YIKES!

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.

Submitted by Lenny


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