Vol 903 - May 16, 2010 - Alternative State Slogans

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange "Self Help" Quotes by Eric Hoffer:

The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not.

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.

Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.

It is when power is wedded to chronic fear that it becomes formidable.

We are more ready to try the untried when what we do is inconsequential. Hence the fact that many inventions had their birth as toys.

A preoccupation with the future not only prevents us from seeing the present as it is but often prompts us to rearrange the past.

Men weary as much of not doing the things they want to do as of doing the things they do not want to do.

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Alternative State Slogans

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure R Gud

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes ... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ...

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl ... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family ... Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared !!!

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE CLOUDS - DANGEROUS WEATHER AHEAD - STRANGE SHAFT - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/162858.html

1959 EDSEL CONVERTIBLE - CONTINENTAL KIT - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163394.html

STRANGE OLDE EMERGENCY VEHICLES - 1927 OSHKOSH MODEL H 4X4 FIRE TRUCK REAR STEERABLE LADDER TRAILER - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/163738.html

STRANGE STRETCH SCOOTER - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/162716.html

OBAMA'S SECRET PLAN ON HOW TO SAVE THE POST OFFICE - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/163793.html

STRANGE STRETCH LIMO IN BERLIN - XXL STRETCHTRABI - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/163796.html

HOT SEXY BLUE SWIMSUIT - SHE'S A 10! - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/163798.html

STRANGE TRANSLUCENT SEA CREATURES - JELLY FISH - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/163812.html

STRANGE SOLAR POWERED LONG SHIP - 31M - 1 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163839.html

THE REAL SUPER HERO'S FROM TINSEL TOWN - PPS PRESENTATION - WWII HERO'S - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/163843.html

FOOD NETWORK HOTTIES - INGRID HOFFMAN - http://www.strangecollege.com/content/item/163851.html

FIRST NEW YORK CITY SUBWAY RIDE - 1904 - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163869.html

MINIATURE PONY - OBERON - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/163889.html

TIGHTROPE WALKING GOAT IN CHINA - WITH MONKEY ON HIS BACK - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/163890.html

STRANGE AMISH BEAUTY CONTEST - WHAT IS THIS? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163892.html

AMAZING RUSSIAN SU-33 ABORTS CARRIER LANDING - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/163895.html

MGM'S SYMBOL THE LION - 1 OF 5 - 1929 PHOTO SHOOT - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163799.html

HUGE GIANT SNAKE FOUND IN CHINA - 55 FOOT BOA - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/163865.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - STRANGE MUTANTS & ALBINO ANIMALS - All Kinds - Big & Small

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100905_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Top 10 Most Evil Women in History - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/163840.html

"Lonely" Cincinnati Man Arrested 146 Times in 1998 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163893.html

Patient Chinese Man Stole Motorbike - Part by Part - over 5 Years! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/163894.html

Strange Golf Quotes - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/163294.html

Inspirational....Inner Peace? - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/163896.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - CELEBRITY HOMES - COMPOUNDS - SECURITY GATES - CRIBS

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/category/100601_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "YOU DIDN'T VOTE FOR THIS NEWSLETTER BUT HERE IT IS ANYWAY"

 

This Week:
* VID - Flip flops
* COSTUME - Death Star
* ANIMALS - Riot Dog

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "B3ta is planning a
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | coalition newsletter
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| with NTK"

B3ta email 428 - 14 May 2010

Print this issue and read it on the bog:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue428/

Lovely people: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Awful bastards: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Win money! £2000 of the stuff.

Sty TV is searching for the funniest double act
since Cameron and Clegg. Upload a short clip
showing your skills - if the public and judges
love it, you'll get your own web TV show and
£2,000. Also, vote for your favourites for a
chance to win an Apple iPad.
http://www.stytv.co.uk

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Flip Flops, Death Star, PM Letter & Sea Slugs

>> Flip Flops <<
"I'm surprised how long it's taken me to make a
film about the old comedy staple of slipping on
a banana skin," bleats Sheep! This is a lovely
bit of footwear-based whimsy. If flip-flops had
an ad budget he'd be getting paid right now.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Flip_Flops

>> Creation of the Death Star <<
"This is what I envisage Darth Vader had in
mind when he created the Death Star a long time
ago, in a galaxy far far away," says pdjpdj,
who is a funny, silly man. "I can only just fit
out the front door with it on. It would look
rather cool as I cycled to work, but I don't
like the idea of x-fighters attacking my
exhaust port!"
http://www.pdjpdj.go-plus.net/thatsnomoon/thatsno.html

>> So, a new Prime Minister eh? <<
"I've written David Cameron a welcome letter,"
remarks Dan Bull. "Thanks to numerous YouTubers
and B3tans for the footage." Politics is
just-about holding our interest for now. We
were disappointed Cameron & Clegg didn't use
that joint press conference to tear away their
unconvincing human masks and fire heat rays
into the screaming crowd.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/So_a_new_Prime_Minister_eh

>> Sea Slug Science Time <<
Joel & crew combine Look Around You-style
retro-science with their usual heavy metal
stylings. Worth it for the Veitchster's
leather-clad rock moves.
http://b3ta.com/links/Science_Time_Sea_Slugs

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Breasts

Last week we asked about tits. We were pleasantly
surprised to find only half the answers were, "I
love tits, me." The rest are really rather good:
http://b3ta.com/questions/breasts/

* ATTENTION - "Sgt Major Wobbly-Gob came to give
Camouflage And Concealment training to a group
of new recruits. They'd buddied up, applied the
camouflage cream and done their best to break up
shape and outline before heading out on their
first exercise in woodland and meadow. Sgt Maj
Wobbly-Gob was teaching them how to reduce
noise: anything excessive in your pockets was
to be removed. Wobbly went the line and got them
to jump to check for noise. Then he gets to a
recruit with a very lumpy combat jacket indeed.
In fact something was sticking the breast pockets
way out in front of the rest of the recruit.
Wobbly was incensed! "What the fuck are those?"
he shouts as he outstretches both palms and
gives the pockets a firm squeeze. The recruit, in
her best I'm-a-girl-trying-to-sound-like-a-soldier
voice shouted back, "Tits, Sir!". Wobbly went
redder than a red thing and soon had something
more urgent to attend to."
(Piper Alpha)

* DETERMINATION - "I breast-fed a cat. Not on
purpose, though. It was in the early days of
my first baby being born and things were a bit
leaky around the boob area. One of our cats
had selfishly had kittens a couple of weeks
beforehand and they were just beginning to
stumble about and get in the bloody way. One
morning I was awoken to a sharp pain on the
boob - one of the kittens had managed to crawl
up onto the bed, over the baby and latched on
to my left tit with its nasty sharp teeth. To
get it off I had to prise open its jaw with
a pencil."
(Lu)

* INFLAMMATION - "I dated a girl with eczema...
Nice breasts, cracking nipples."
(bekowsquap)

>> This Week's Question: Expensive weekends <<
What's the most expensive weekend you've been
on? Was it deliberate, criminal or were you just
plain desperate to get somewhere at any cost?
Talk to us here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/expensiveweekends/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Home-made Death Ray <<
Rob from Cockeyed is best known for his "how
much is in that?" experiments, where he does
stuff like see how long a video tape is. We
hadn't previously caught this one from 2007
where he sticks lots of mirrors to a satellite
dish to create a death ray. Impressive stuff
that kept us reading over 15 pages.
http://www.cockeyed.com/incredible/solardish/dish01.shtml

>> Hybrid photo/drawings <<
Bored this weekend? Then take a photo, draw a
bit of it by hand and then take another photo
holding the drawing over real life. Sounds
complex? It won't be once you look at the pics.
http://snurl.com/hybridart

>> It's like dropping acid, but not <<
If you've never taken LSD then you are very
sensible, but one of the effects is visual
distortion where solid objects get a bit
wobbly. It's as if everything in the universe
was made of a soft, undulating plasticine.
In fact, it looks a lot like this:
http://www.neave.com/strobe/

>> Riot Dog <<
Some dog that keeps turning up on riots - is it
specially selected photos? A dog owned by some
crusty who goes to everything? Or just a dog
that likes a good scrap? You decide.
http://snurl.com/thisdogisaterrorist

>> David Cameron side profile <<
Google images, first result. *checks* Nope,
third result now. Fuck it, who cares - this
link is everywhere now.
http://snurl.com/publicschoolgames

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like cartoons but with real people

>> Crap yo-yo man <<
A crap yo-yo bloke has been appearing on
American TV - he tells the producers he's a
world champion but when he turns up he's
utterly useless. The joy is in the
embarrassment of the host. Is this marketing
for a yo-yo? A new comedian who's worked out a
unique way to promote himself? Or is Andy
Kaufman truly not dead?
http://snurl.com/yoyoyoyoyoyo

>> Kittens in autotune <<
Does what it says on the tin. BTW: Somebody
should go round a zoo and autotune the
different animals. We'd like to hear an
autotuned elephant. Actually it could be like
those "Does it blend?" ads -"Elephants. But do
they autotune?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZaCzVsEn5Y


>> Beatbox Dog Reloaded <<
Of course - what the beatbox needed was to be
synced with the trolalala bloke.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Beatbox_Dog_Reloaded

>> How to use a urinal <<
We can't understand why so many people have a
problem with this video - this is exactly what
we do every time.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/How_to_use_a_urinal_the_American_way

>> Best Wedding DJ Evar <<
Who hasn't wanted to slap a fat old woman's
tits in time to Phil Collins's famous drum fill
from In The Air Tonight. If this was Cadbury's
new advertising campaign we'd take up chocolate
again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZP4Ugev82I

>> Pretty Iceland volcano time-lapse vid <<
Apparently there's been a volcano in Iceland -
we wouldn't know as we've been too busy
giggling about Clegg and Cameron writing their
own civil partnership vows. Anyway stick this
full screen and go wowoowowo.
http://vimeo.com/11673745

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
If funny means 'shit' then call this place home

* GAY POWER! - Holly Would writes, "I know the
funny name corner of the newsletter is not your
most prized but I saw this and it made me
smile, especially as she described herself as a
Conservative voter."
http://www.b3tards.com/u/9387e280261e8f505271/gaypower.jpg

* SPLENDID ALFONSINO - ben_dadds writes, "There's
something about the name Splendid Alfonsino
that sounds like something you'd expect to find
on 'specialist' websites. However, turns out
its just a fish."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splendid_alfonsino

-------------------------------------------------

: SAVE BBC 6 MUSIC
It still needs saving apparently

Seb Brennan writes -

"This is your fellow Kentish Townian, Seb. You
kindly featured my band's video of a giant
hamster running amok many years ago, and you
and Lucy graciously invited me round for tea,
which was lovely.

"I'm currently on the organising committee for
the Save BBC 6Music group, and I wondered if
you could put a plug in the newsletter for the
demo we've got coming up outside Broadcasting
House on the Saturday 22nd May?

"If you'd like a linkyLOL to substantiate this
blatant plug, have a look at the lovely Lego
video that's been made to accompany Adam
Buxton's rather brilliant reworking of Bowie's
'Changes' in support of the 6 cause."
http://love6music.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Ross Kemp Challenge

Last week we wanted you to photoshop celebrated
baldy Ross Kemp.

Your favourites included:

* HOMO - Ross gets dirty with his
ground-breaking new series (Pandemonium in my
underpants)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10034985

* HEAD - like Being John Malkovich, but with
more cockneys (mr.dogshit)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10037729

* HAGUE - in which moon-faced posho David
Cameron strides the corridors of power with his
goons (2 Can Chunder)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10035145

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/rosskemp/

>> New challenge: Fake Science <<
Fake science can be fun. So fire up Photoshop
and provide some more to educate the masses,
using the power of your imagination to show us
how stuff doesn't really work
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/fakescience/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* JOEL AND MICROSOFT - last week we mentioned
an ad in The Metro that features Joel's rock
kittens. Fresh back from ROFLCon, he replies,
"Sorry, a bit late answering this, but the
answer is yes I OK'd that. Will be very
interested to see if I flog any extra t-shirts
on the back of it."

* YOUR CRAP OLD WEBSITE - just a quick mention
that Monkeon is taking his reviews of old
websites rather seriously and updating them
regularly. Latest entry is an enjoyable
contrast between comedian Peter Kay's site back
in the day: run by a nerdy friend of his, more
interested in technology than comedy; and now -
a juggernaut of on-brand promotion.
http://youroldcrapwebsite.wordpress.com/

* WEIRD CRYING MAN REMIX - Leemondus writes,
"Thought I'd do a quick Betty's Hotpot and
mash-up on this."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Weird_crying_man_Weatherfield_Style

* GENDER ERROR - El Stevo writes, "The
overhand guitar-playing woman isn't a woman.
The user has more videos featuring THE MAN
Ronnie." Still it makes a change - we often get
it the other way round and assume our
contributors are male, when in fact some of
them are transgendered. And that video again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx4cRw6TIIg

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
Plants Vs Zombies

Being bleeding edge technology nerds can
sometimes leave you behind the times. Case in
point - we were early adopters on the iPhone
but, because of network contract issues, we got
a cracked one off eBay. Great, but it meant
when Apple upgraded the OS it was tricky for us
to follow suit. So we were left with a phone
that would only load about 1 application in 20
and we gave up on the app store. To cut a dull
story short, we've fixed it and now gone iPhone
gaming mental, catching up on all the games
that people were praising in, ooh, 2008? And to
add our voice to the throngs - Plants Vs
Zombies is an addictive twist on the Tower
Defence genre that has wasted half our week
sitting on the bog shooting zombies. Linky goes
to flash version.
http://www.popcap.com/games/free/pvz

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* L.E.D PAVING STONES - so shoppers can
recreate the Billie Jean video whilst walking
around Wolverhampton's Mander Centre.

* DIGITAL INK TATTOOS - get your Twitter feed
on your forehead. Ideal for people to call you
cunt in a meeting.

* PENIS MEDUSA - a lady with penises for hair
instead of snakes. Don't get her angry.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: THANKS:

This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Fraser,
Wanderer, Pew Pew Pew! Lasers!
Top tippery by krang. Subjlols by Mighty Nibus.
Additional linkage and image challenge by
Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.

-------------------------------------------------

: TOP TIP:

If you lose the rubber tips for your in-ear
headphones simply slice a stoned black olive in
half, and use that instead. (krang)

-------------------------------------------------

Unbelievable. Tories in power for less than
half an hour and already a Scottish family is
unemployed and homeless. (babyballoon)
http://www.sickipedia.org/

__._,_.___

Reply to sender | Reply to group | Reply via web post | Start a New Topic

Messages in this topic (1)

Recent Activity:

• New Members 51

Visit Your Group

MARKETPLACE

Stay on top of your group activity without leaving the page you're on - Get the Yahoo! Toolbar now.

---

Get great advice about dogs and cats. Visit the Dog & Cat Answers Center.

---

Hobbies & Activities Zone: Find others who share your passions! Explore new interests.

Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest • Unsubscribe • Terms of Use

.

__,_._,___

Vol 902 - May 12, 2010 - TOP 25 COUNTRY SONGS

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Great "Food" Quotes

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James A. Beard

I don't eat anything that a dog won't eat. Like sushi. Ever see a dog eat sushi? He just sniffs it and says, "I don't think so." And this is an animal that licks between its legs and sniffs fire hydrants. - Billiam Coronel

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis (Garfield)

If the people have no bread, let them eat cake. - (attributed to) Marie Antoinette

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Top 25 Country Songs

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Were Pure.
23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
21. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We're Even.
20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.
19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
18. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
17. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
14. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You.
13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.
12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).
10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You.
9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.
8. Please Bypass This Heart.
7. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.
6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.
5. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
4. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
3. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles.
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer.

And the Number 1 Country and Western song of all Time is...

1. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

1921 INDIAN SCOUT MOTORCYCLE - REAL INDIAN SCOUT ON TOP - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163719.html

CONSTRUCTION OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING - PPS PRESENTATION - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/163781.html

HAITI PRESIDENTIAL PALACE QUAKE DAMAGE - BEFORE AND AFTER PIXS - http://www.strangedanger.com/content/item/163785.html

CHARLTON HESTON'S AMAZING ARMORY & GUN COLLECTION - MACHINE GUNS - RIFLES - SMALL CANNONS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163251.html

STRANGE OLDE EMERGENCY VEHICLES - 1981 OSHKOSH AIRPORT CRASH VEHICLE - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163722.html

STRANGE CALENDARS - HOT MORMON MUFFINS???? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163786.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN ALBUM COVERS - SAVATA JAVANOVIC - CHECK OUT THE HAIR LEGS! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/163787.html

STRANGE MOTORCYCLES - COOL GUITAR SEAT - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/162715.html

NBA CHEERLEADERS - PLAYOFFS - BOSTON CELTICS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/163753.html

STRANGE GIANT MOTORCYCLE - UNLOADING - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/162888.html

STRANGE DOUBLE RAINBOW - YEAH! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/163706.html

MARINES - MACHINE GUN PRACTICE AT SEA - HOT BULLET CASING DOWN THE NECK! - GIF - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/163774.html

BATMAN ASTRIDE THE BAT CYCLE - 1966 - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/163775.html

STRANGE WHITE MONKEYS - BLACK FACES - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/163776.html

STRANGE SWEDISH MILITARY PLANE - JAS 39 GRIPEN CLOSE UP ON THE DECK! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/163777.html

STRANGE OLDE LADIES HOCKEY TEAM UNIFORMS - EDMONTON SWASTIKAS! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/163778.html

STRANGE NO PARKING SIGN - TOW AWAY ON CERTAIN MORNINGS AND DAYS OF THE MONTH! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/163779.html

STRANGE HARVEST TIME - HUGE BAG OF SOMETHING - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/163780.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - * STRANGE PEOPLE - Scary & Just Plain Dumb!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/31_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

5 Strange Tragic Stories - http://www.strangedanger.com/content/item/163788.html

Biology Teachers' Chemistry Experiment Proves Fatal - http://www.strangecollege.com/content/item/163789.html

5 Most Bizarre But True Stories in Australia - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163790.html

Strange Urban Legends: JELL-O is made from bones and hides. - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/163791.html

Celebrities: Top 10 Oldies Myths - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/163792.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - * STRANGE PEOPLE - Scary & Just Plain Dumb!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/112_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 901 - May 09, 2010 - 15 Things My Mother Taught Me! - HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange "Mothers Day" Quotes:

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

Parents are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth. - Peter Ustinov

For a woman, a son offers the best chance to know the mysterious male existence. - Carole Klein

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. - Rita Rudner

Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life. - Sophocles

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of priests. - Spanish Proverb

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - 15 Things My Mother Taught Me!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -- I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

11. My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times -- don't exaggerate!!!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE CLOUDS - DANGEROUS WEATHER AHEAD - CITYSCAPE WALL CLOUD - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/162857.html

STRANGE CEMENT & BRICK CAR - WHY? - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/163610.html

STRANGE MOTORCYCLE - ROTARY RADIAL ENGINE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/162711.html

LUMBERJACKS PILE FELLED LOGS HIGH - MULES PULL HUGE PILE! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163702.html

STRANGE RALLY CAR AND PRIVATE PLANE CRASH - FIRE! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/163703.html

STRANGE SWAT TRAINING - EXPLOSION! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/163709.html

LET'S GO SURFING - THE WAVES ARE HUGE! 30 FEET+ - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/163710.html

COOL LOW B-1 BOMBER PASS - WITH ESCORTS! - 2 F-22's - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/163711.html

SPECTACULAR MOUNTAIN FARMING AERIAL VIEW - CLIFFS EDGE - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/163712.html

STRANGE CUSTOMIZE SCHOOL BUS - SAILBOAT HAULER! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163704.html

STRANGE CITY DOUBLE RAINBOW - SUNS OUT! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/163705.html

COLL AERIAL VIEW - WHITE CLIFFS OF DOVER FROM TOP - LIGHTHOUSE - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/163708.html

STRANGE CAKES - JABBA THE HUTT CAKE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163715.html

STRANGE MILITARY HEADDRESSES - COLORFUL INDIAN FANS! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/163714.html

STRANGE JAPANESE MOTORCYCLES - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/163208.html

HORSE FACES? - CAMILLA PARKER BOWLES - AND OTHER NAG! - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/163716.html

STRANGE RADIO WAVE DETECTOR VAN - 1938 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163516.html

STRANGE KIDS TOYS - GANGSTA BABIES - FROM THE HOOD! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/163717.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - ST - BATHROOMS - Toilets - Urinals - Bidets - Strange Places to GO!

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/category/100581_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

History of Mother's Day - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/25675.html

A Mother's Dictionary - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/23848.html

A Special Tribute to Mothers - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/21268.html

Famous Mothers - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/107024.html

Murphy's Law for Mothers - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/115230.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - ST - BATHROOMS - Toilets - Urinals - Bidets - Strange Places to GO!

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/category/136_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "A Good Day To Bury Bad News"

 

This Week:
* HEADLINES - Something about kittens! Lol!
* MORE STUFF - Probably a question thing
* EVEN MORE - Maybe comedy rude vegetable. Rofl.

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___ "We stayed up all night
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | watching the election
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | and forgot to write the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| newsletter... together"

B3ta e-fax 427 - 7 May 2010

The same newsletter again in a new window:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue427/

Subs: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Toasted panini: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
It’s Going to be a Smoking Summer Of Music

Fancy going to a festival this summer? Fancy a
year’s supply of rolling papers? Well you might
get both if you enter the Smoking Papers Mega
Free Prize Draw. You could win tickets for
Great Escape, Global Gathering, NASS and
Boardmasters and a year's supply of your
favourite Smoking Papers.
http://bit.ly/akXUvb

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other than pressing ctrl R and typing sol.exe

>> Just had a wank? <<
"Record your strokes here!", writes Punked, "As
taken from one of the Newsletter ideas some
while ago (sorry if it's bindun)."
http://www.justwanked.co.uk/

>> Election debate rap battle <<
Dan Bull writes, "In a bid to appeal to the
younger electorate, the leaders of the three
main parties have agreed to a fourth televised
debate, in the form of a rap battle.” (To be
honest now the election is over this is a bit
out of date but we enjoyed the item so in it
goes.)
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Election_debate_rap_battle

>> Vote Your Own Adventure <<
How does a Choose Your Own Adventure book play
out if each decision is voted on by everyone who
has ever played it? Only Monkeon knows the
answer - and you if you click.
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/voteyourown/

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Arch-nemesis

Last week we asked if you had someone who just
wouldn't go away and leave you alone. And how
you dealt with the situation. Luckily, none of
you have done a Danny Dyer and we won't have to
write a lame press release about "production
errors":
http://b3ta.com/questions/nemesis/

* DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION - "I used to have a
fairly hellish hour-and-a-half commute to work.
On public transport accompanied by the symphony
of white noise squirted forth from the mobile
phones of various little oiks. If I had my
headphones and charged my iPod, it was fine,
but there were many days when my life was near
ruined for a good half-hour stretch. It became
clear to me that I was going to have to strike
back at the heart of the problem. Not by getting
angry, oh no, but by a much stealthier method.
I pretended to enjoy the music one of them was
playing. I looked over, giving little appreciative
nods if he caught my eye. He looked away quickly,
but the fear was clearly setting in, I was
beginning to turn the tide, and claim back my
train. His mild homophobia alone wasn't switching
the music off, so the nuclear option was called
for: I stood up, crossed the carriage, and began
what can only be described as a 'dance', to his
music. Now, I am on the wobbly side of portly,
and my dancing skill is (to put it politely) not
too high, but where I was lacking in these areas,
I made up for in brute enthusiasm and pelvic
thrusting. I launched my ample frame around that
carriage like I was trying to dislodge a troublesome
ferret from inside my trousers. These moves were
accompanied by that 'special' facial gesture. Eyes
scrunched closed, head back, a delicate bite of
the lower lip - nothing but sheer, orgasmic,
animal pleasure. Oddly, he seemed to decide fairly
soon after that he didn't really want to listen
to music any more. Check. Mate."
(Serotonicity)

* SUPER POTATO - "There's a guy at work, Dan,
who was trying to lose weight, but still
wanted to have a jacket potato a few times
a week. Instead of cheese and beans, he'd
just have beans, but the guy who works in
the sandwich shop kept getting this wrong,
giving him both cheese and beans. So Dan
decided to be extra clear about it. 'Look,
mate, you keep giving me cheese AND beans
and I just want beans. Just beans. Alright?'
'Yeah, yeah, no problem mate. Just beans...'
Back at the office, and sure enough, there's
a nice big pile of grated cheese on top of
the beans. Next day, and he checks it in the
shop, "Well this has cheese in it..." Another
potato is served up. Again, he checks it.
Again, there's a great big pile of cheese.
I'm not quite sure how I'd deal with the
situation, and I can understand that it was
extremely frustrating, but throwing the potato
at the guy and then dragging him over the
counter whilst screaming 'NO CHEESE MOTHERFUCKER!
NO CHEESE!' didn't go down too well, and Dan
now does his own jacket potato and beans in
the office microwave." (SnowyTheRabbit)

* FINISH HIM! - "For two years at school, before
he got expelled a bigger, older kid called Mark
bullied me relentlessly. Culminating in one
dinner break where he and his mates trapped
me at the bottom of a staircase (they locked
the doors) and stood on the floor above hawking
green phlegm at me and kicking the crap out of
me if I tried to get past them and escape. This
went on for the best part of an hour. Some years
later, after he'd been kicked out for being a
thickie thug, he was in the local paper having
jumped out of a window after being interrupted
during a burglary. He'd landed on wrought iron
railings, perforating his bowel because one of
the spikes went up his arse. I couldn't have
imagined a better comeuppance if I'd tried."
(shinyscalp)

>> This Week's Question <<

Breasts. Like our ill-fated "Penis" question,
but there's two of them. Oh dear:
http://b3ta.com/questions/breasts/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Flickr trannies <<
PJ writes, "Flickr Explore lets you browse a
map of the world and see the best that the
world's photographers have to offer. Why is it
that when you look at the map of the UK, so
many pictures of really really bad trannies
show up?"
http://www.flickr.com/map?&fLat=50.8614&fLon=-1.8457&zl=11

>> Rent the Spaced flat <<
Three bedroom flat - approx £600 per month per
person and comedy geeks outside taking photos
and giggling every weekend.
http://snurl.com/spacked

>> Gives me hope ...<<
"Have you ever featured givesmehope?", asks
Mike Fishcake, "It's the exact opposite of fuck
my life and is absolutely lovely to read if
you're a big soft sentimental sap. Like me."
And if you're very mean and nasty like us, you
can say "fuck my life" at the end of each story
and it becomes quite a different site
altogether.
http://www.givesmehope.com

>> Apple dating site <<
So you're an Apple fanboy and the only woman
you'd like to meet also shares your geek
obsession for Steve Job's finest bits of future
landfill? Then hop on board because this dating
site is for you. Actually not a bad idea as
Apple stuff is rather expensive so it's a
subtle way of saying to women, "the blokes are
geeks but at least they're not deadbeat geeks."
http://cupidtino.com/

>> Meowmania <<
Click the cat and it meows. Compelling in a
slightly frightening way. We await the youtube
video of using this to freak out a kitten.
http://meowmania.jqln.org/

>> If Mario was designed now... <<
Christ it would be full of bullshit.
http://snurl.com/marioyeah

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
How about a beatboxing dog?

Actually you might not go aah but those in the
remix communities might have found a phat new
beat for their wicked super mash ups.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hhz9Aa6tDwk

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Written with one liners coz fuck, we're late

* SADDEST FILM EVER - Cat paws dead cat chum.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaP7STV1aFs

* DREADFULLY CLEVER AD - that took us a second
watch to grasp it.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mr_W:2

* WEIRD CRYING MAN - also worth watching is the
autotune version:
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Best_Cry_Ever

* OVER HANDED GUITAR PLAYING WOMAN - like a
slide guitar technique but without the slide bit.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=69e_1272915986

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Funny as in shit

This week's entry comes from someone calling
himself SpunkyMcSpunkbubble, and as we say to
the children, "those with kettles shouldn't
throw stones at blacks", anyway, he says, "The
festival organiser's maybe one for funny name
corner." And you know what? He's correct.
http://snurl.com/bollockhead

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the James Bond Challenge

Last week we wanted you to film James
Bond on the cheap

Your favourites included:

* SOCIAL - if no-one will finance a film, you
can at least storyboard the plot via Facebook
(Captain Howdy)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10025725

* KILL - grim news for Bond as his license
expires (yanmania...)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10028081

* JAWS - 007's most fearsome foe crops up in
classic meme (Seaman Gabber)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10025787

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/jamesbond/

>> New challenge: Ross Kemp <<
Former soap star Ross Kemp is probably
the UK's toughest man, whether he's
winning the war in Afghanistan or saving
the Amazon rainforest. Photoshop him,
and his lovely bald head:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/rosskemp/

BONUS ELECTION BIT - drbroon writes, "I made a
compilation of stuff made by b3tans for
the election compos. NSFW because of some
swears in the musics. Thanks and well
done to the image-makers, I had a lot of
chuckles making this."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/General_Election_2010_by_b3ta

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* RATHERGOOD ADVERTISING FOR MICROSOFT? - Jason
Grayson saw this in the Metro and we did ask
Joel about it and didn't get an email back and
can't be arsed to chase it now.
http://moby.to/2f3bdo

* B3TAN MP GETS 84 VOTES - let's hope next time
we get Proportional Representation and we can
bump that up to several thousand votes to get
some true geeks represented in our shitty
parliament.
http://snurl.com/tomlooksgoodasapirate

* CONGRATULATIONS TO DAVE AND SIAN - Dave
co-writes the B3ta newsletter and recently
married his now-wife Sian at London Zoo.
You'll like the photos.
http://snurl.com/theotherdaveinthenews

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
Hue shift

Our colour vision is a bit dodgy in the old red
/ green area and that means we never try very
hard on games that require careful observation
of hue. Basically we're saying this game is
racist and oppressing us. Thanks JamesG for
making us feel bad.
http://www.kongregate.com/games/ddrei/hue-shift


-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by SetecAstronomy, Tom
O'Bedlam, Michelle Obama's Stalker, Jemimah
Knight, Mike Fishcake. Additional linkage and
image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder
is QOTW bloke.

-------------------------------------------------

My friend and her girlfriend just gave me a
lovely TAG Heuer for my birthday. Guess they
misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."
http://www.sickipedia.org/

__._,_.___

Reply to sender | Reply to group | Reply via web post | Start a New Topic

Messages in this topic ()

Recent Activity:

• New Members 80

Visit Your Group

MARKETPLACE

Stay on top of your group activity without leaving the page you're on - Get the Yahoo! Toolbar now.

---

Get great advice about dogs and cats. Visit the Dog & Cat Answers Center.

---

Hobbies & Activities Zone: Find others who share your passions! Explore new interests.

Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest • Unsubscribe • Terms of Use

.

__,_._,___

Vol 900 - May 05, 2010 - You Watch WAY TOO MUCH Wrestling When.........

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange "Sports" Quotes:

Insulting comments about famous athletes

"McEnroe was as charming as always, which means that he was as charming as a dead mouse in a loaf of bread." - Clive James (about John McEnroe)

"Beyond the hair, tattoos and earrings, he's just like you and me." - Bob Hill (about Dennis Rodman, 1995)

"Dennis has become like a prostitute, but now it's gotten ridiculous, to the point where he will do anything humanly possible to make money." - Charles Barkley (about Dennis Rodman, 1997)

"He has so many fish hooks in his nose, he looks like a piece of bait." - Bob Costas (about Dennis Rodman)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Watch WAY TOO MUCH Wrestling When.......

- On your resume you write "I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be"

- Instead of hugging relatives you give them bear hugs & mandible claws

- You begin to shake someone's hand in public, but then hesitate to look for the crowd's response

- You tell your significant other, "Not tonight, I'm watching RAW"

- You get in fights with people who say wrestling is fake.

- You clothesline people in the supermarket for no real reason.

- You elbow smash your dog & turn him/her over for the three count

- Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper.

- Instead of punishing your kids by grounding them, you threaten them with stunners, choke slams & tombstones

- When your king-size bed has ropes and turnbuckles surrounding it.

- You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask.

- Your boss fires you and you come back to work and challenge him to a no-holds barred steel-cage wrestling match.

Submitted by Freddie

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE FOREIGN POLICE ITEMS - SIPHONING GAS FROM PATROL CAR - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/162956.html

WKRP's SEXY RECEPTIONIST - LONI ANDERSON - RED BIKINI - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/162833.html

STRANGE CLOUDS - DANGEROUS WEATHER AHEAD - ANGEL WINGS? - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/162856.html

STRANGE COLORFUL RING NECK SNAKE - 2 - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/163497.html

STRANGE "BEER CAN" CARS FROM THE 1970'S - WITH 6-PACK IN FORE GROUND - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/162448.html

AMAZING FISH FACE - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/163503.html

STRANGE HEDGEROW MAZE - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/163504.html

STRANGE SOCCER - HARD HEAD OR SOFT SOCCER BALL! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/163505.html

STRANGE OKTOBERFEST CONTEST - BEER STEIN CHALLENGE - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/163506.html

NOTRE DAME BLONDE CHEERLEADER - WHAT COULD GO WRONG? - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/163507.html

STRANGE MOTORCYCLE - 48 CYLINDER - 4200 CC - 1 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/162884.html

STRANGE COLORFUL MILITARY PARADE - INDIAN CAMEL COMPANY - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/163508.html

STRANGE OLDE PICTURES - THE TITANIC'S 3 HUGE PROPELLERS - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163509.html

STRANGE ACOUSTIC GUITAR - WITH SECRET GUN COMPARTMENT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163510.html

STRANGE 6 SHOOTER GUN BAR-B-QUE! - 20 FOOT LONG! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/163511.html

THE HELICA - FIRST PROPELLER DRIVEN CAR - 1913 - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163512.html

STRANGE 3 SEATER MOTORCYCLE - THE BOHMERLAND CECHIE - 1935 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163514.html

COOL F-16 PICTURE - SUNSET TAIL - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/162900.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - HOCKEY - NHL - COLLEGE - STANLEY CUP - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100018_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

The 14 Freakiest Serial Killers You've Probably Never Heard Of - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/163518.html

The 3 Worst Crash Diets - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/163517.html

The 14 Freakiest Serial Killers You've Probably Never Heard Of - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163518.html

Remember Hollywood Squares? - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/109312.html

Which Zodiac Sign is the WORST Driver? - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/109331.html

Top 20 Oxymoron's - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/110790.html

Strange But Basically Useless Information - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/112288.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SS - HOCKEY - NHL - COLLEGE - STANLEY CUP - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/110_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 899 - May 02, 2010 - Strange Church Bulletin Bloopers

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

NEW "OLD" GAMES ADDED! CLASSICS - FROGGER - PAC-MAN - ASTEROIDS !!!!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

==================================

Strange Golf Quotes:

These greens are so fast, I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.~ Kevin Costner

I don't fear death..., but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Church Bulletin Bloopers

Actual Announcements From Church

1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

2. Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.

3. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

4. Thursday at 5:00 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

5. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Smith to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

6. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

7. On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper at the end of the service.

8. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

9. A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement.
Music will follow.

10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Bleser, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Delser.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

BATTLESHIP - 16 INCH GUNS - AIR CRAFT CARRIER IN BACKGROUND - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/162305.html

STRANGE OLDE KNIVES AND DAGGERS - ORNATE HUNTING KNIFE - HANDLE - STAND - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/162105.html

STRANGE OPTICAL GENETICS LESSON - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163016.html

CHRIS EVERT - TENNIS STAR - STRIKES A POSE - SHE'S IN SHAPE! - GREG NORMANS WIFE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163250.html

OLDE ARMY RIFLEMAN TRAINING - BIG AND LITTLE GUNS! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/162659.html

STRANGE CLOUDS - DANGEROUS WEATHER AHEAD - TREE HEAD - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/162855.html

ALL CHROME MOTORCYCLE - AMAZING - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/162712.html

STRANGE JAPANESE MOTORCYCLES - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/163213.html

STRANGE LIFEBOAT TRAINING - 6 STORY FREE FALL! - 7 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/163339.html

COPS FINDS A STRANGE VISITOR IN POLICE CAR - KITTEN - 1 - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/163369.html

1956 FORD 2 DR. SKYLINER - GLASS TOP - CONTINENTAL KIT - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163380.html

STRANGE LITTLE COW CAR - MINI CONVERTIBLE - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/162924.html

1906/08 COLUMBIA ELECTRIC VICTORIA "THE HAYBIRD" FIRST HY BRED? - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/163415.html

STRANGE BLONDES - UNIV of OREGON CHEERLEADER - AMANDA PFLUGRAD - - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/163361.html

STRANGE SHIP MOUNTED GATLING GUN - WITH SKULL! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/163449.html

STRANGE JAPANESE PHOTOGRAPHY SESSION - SHE'S TALL - HE'S SHORT - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/163450.html

TOUGH REDHEADED LADY BOXING CHAMP - BIG BELTS - SHINER - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/163451.html

MOTORCYCLE RACING CAN BE DANGEROUS - JUMP FAIL - OUCH! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/163452.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - PUZZLES - STRANGE ITEMS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/100302_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Dogs Casket Dug Up by Pet Cemetery - Cremated - $30 Past Due - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/163457.html

Man Crushed by Truck Engine he was Stealing - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/163454.html

Strange Accidental Death - by Lava Lamp! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/163453.html

Strange Lost Baggage Stories - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/163455.html

Strange Car Insurance Quotes from Claim Forms - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163456.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - PUZZLES - STRANGE ITEMS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/115_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html