VOL 1301 - March 05, 2014 - Strange Office Fun - The Job Security Quiz

E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

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MARCH FUN


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Strange Quotes - "Classic Writing"

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. - Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator, 1890

Hold on to your divine blush, your innate rosy magic, or end up brown. Once you're brown, you'll find out you're blue. As blue as indigo. And you know what that means. Indigo. Indigoing. Indigone. - Tom Robbins

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that exalted, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. - George Bernard Shaw "Getting Married" (1908)

Strange Quotes About Parents

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. - Rita Rudner

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. - Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980)

The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. - King Edward VIII (1894 - 1972)

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow (1857 - 1938)

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - The Job Security Quiz

THE JOB SECURITY QUIZ

The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you...

a. Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his kid.
b. Inform him that you're planting a virus in the program so that everyone who plays it on company time will get reported to Human Resources.
c. Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until you've finished the level.

There's a cush job opening in the mail department, stuffing envelopes with free samples. It pays twice as much as your current position. What do you do?

a. Meekly suggest to your boss that transferring you might improve the morale of everyone who's been working with you.
b. Politely ask your boss for a transfer and offer to split the salary increase 50/50 with him.
c. Barge into your bosses office and demand reassignment so that you, "Won't have to work under someone who should have retired before he became a laughingstock."

When your boss throws a party and invites everyone in the office except you, what do you do?

a. Stay home and watch 'I Love Lucy' reruns.
b. Show up at the party anyway, with a really expensive bottle of wine and a briefcase full of small, unmarked bills.
c. Go over to your bosses house after everyone has left and throw rocks at the windows, shouting obscenities.

Your boss criticizes your work unjustly; what do you do?

a. Listen politely, and then apologize.
b. Blame someone else.
c. Climb on top of your desk, and hold up a piece of paper on which you've written the word "union."

When the CEO parks his car in your spot, you...

a. Wash and wax it, then leave your business card under the windshield wiper.
b. Key it ... then tell the CEO's secretary you saw your boss near it, loitering suspiciously.
c. Key it ... then proudly tell the CEO's secretary that you did it.

Your boss asks you to play Kooky the Clown for his kid's fifth birthday party, what do you do?

a. Offer to pay for the costume rental and cake, too.
b. Agree to do it, then blackmail a co-worker into doing it while pretending to be you.
c. Agree to do it, then show up as yourself and tell the children that Kooky is dead.

Your boss' gorgeous daughter comes on to you. How do you react?

a.Tell her that you feel it would be unethical for you to date the boss' daughter, but that you would be honored to pay for her to go to the movie by herself.
b. Slip her a mickey, then marry her before she sobers up.
c. Tell her you would love to go out with her, because you like cheap women, but you prefer them to be at least slightly attractive.

The boss accuses you of not keeping the office clean; you...

a. Clean the office while he supervises.
b. Tell him that you delegated the job, then fire the underling you supposedly gave the job to.
c. Clean the office again, but this time, you use your boss' face.

SCORING

Mostly A's: You have nothing to worry about. They'll never fire you because you're a doormat.

Mostly B's: You're not just going to keep your job, with your complete disregard for other peoples feelings, you'll positively shoot up the ladder of success. Congratulations! You're a real jerk.

Mostly C's: You are a career kamikaze. The boss would have fired you long ago, but he's terrified of what you might do.


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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

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