[b3ta] The email newsletter that fits in your handbag

 

This Week:

* FARTING - chimneys

* SEXY - Ukip?

* WORKSAFE - Your photoshop wonders

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________  ____ __  ___

____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving our

___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   piss in bottles

__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     ...together"

B3ta email 622  - 7th March 2014

Read this issue wearing ham as a hat:

http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue622

  Lovers : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

  Twats : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

 

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: SPONSORED LINK

 STEVE McFADDEN - Canvas Clock

 Reviews include: "This is a piece of

 timekeeping gold and you'll kick yourself if

 you don't snap one up before they sell out.

 Hopefully you won't kick yourself as hard as

 Steve McFadden would kick a guy who knocked his

 pint over in the Queen Vic... because you'd

 kick yourself into a coma... and then you

 couldn't enjoy an A5-sized clock with Steve

 McFadden's face on it."

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B003BRMKDO/b3ta-21

 

 >> Sponsor B3ta <<

 Want this space? Then talk to us.

http://b3ta.com/mailus/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

 >> Farting employed to sell gas <<

 "Cue indignation," writes a braced-for-it

 HCowling. But it's still plenty excellent.

 Tee hee. Farting.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/Farting_employed_to_sell_gas

 >> Trippy transitions <<

 "I Made this odd little hand-drawn animation,"

 confesses Butters. It is the weirdest thing

 you'll see all day.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/Naughty_Prawns

 >> Channel flipper <<

 "A short and stupid bit of animation," mumbles

 chipping sodbury. Ok, *this* is the weirdest

 thing you'll see all day.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/Channel_flipper:4

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: USVSTH3M STUFF

 The other b3taish project

 

 * The Toilet Etiquette Quiz - Are you a quitter

 at the shitter or a real king of the throne?

http://games.usvsth3m.com/toilet-etiquette-quiz/

 * Who Would Play You In A Movie? - Our test will

 match you with a Hollywood A-Lister.

http://games.usvsth3m.com/who-would-play-you/

 * You Can't Do Simple Maths Under Pressure - our

 early big hit.

http://games.usvsth3m.com/maths/

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE

 Results from the NSFW-SFW Challenge

 Last week we wanted you to take terrible things

 on the web and make them office-safe

 Your favourites included:

 * NAM: in which General Nguyen Ngoc Loan paints

 a delightful watercolour (Flash_Bastard)

http://www.b3ta.com/board/11061493

 * GOATSE: in which a cute-looking squirrel paints

 a delightful watercolour (Spruce Bringsteen)

http://www.b3ta.com/board/11062536

 * ATOS: wilfully misunderstood entry provides

 searing health policy indictment (mictoboy)

http://www.b3ta.com/board/11061805

 

 All these images, and the highest, as voted by

 you, can be found here:

http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/nsfw-sfw/

 >> New challenge: Make TV More Interesting <<

 This week's challenge is to spruce up TV: This

 Morning sponsored by WWE, perhaps? Coronation

 Street transported to Syria? Just make TV more

 interesting, because it needs it (suggested by

 Christian's Bolt and Ski)

http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/interesting-tv/

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: OTHER STUFF WE ALSO LIKE

 That we've seen this week

 * Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle - Series 3

 episode 1 on iPlayer now. Genius.

http://goo.gl/V2KBw3

 * It's the pin-ups from UKIP.

http://ukipsosexy.tumblr.com/

 * Johnny and the Baptists - UKIP song

http://goo.gl/qVNKfO

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   Thankers:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

   Wankers:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

 THANKS:

 This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David

 Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Pissflaps, BumCoffee,

 TownsendsPublisher. Image challenge by Fraser

 Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.

 

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 TOP TIP:

 Use electric guitar strings instead of dental

 floss, for that 'hi-tec' futuristic feeling.

 (robneymcplum)

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