Vol 1176 - Dec 26, 2012 - Strange Retirement Options

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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Christmas Fun !


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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

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NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

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ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? EXTREME TAILGATING - FUN - FOOD - BBQ - BEER - FLATSCREEN TV'S - THE WORKS

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Strange "Money" Quotes: Ideas to kick around while heading over the fiscal cliff.......

"Early to bed and early to rise -- till you get enough money to do otherwise." - Peter's Almanac

"God is on everyone's side … and in the last analysis, he is on the side with plenty of money and large armies. - Jean Anouilh (1910-87), French playwright

University President: "Why is it that you physicists always require so much expensive equipment? Now the Department of Mathematics requires nothing but money for paper, pencils, and erasers...and the Department of Philosophy is better still. It doesn't even ask for erasers."- Isaac Asimov (1920-92), Russian-born American scientist, writer

"The only reason to have money is to tell any SOB in the world to go to hell." - Humphrey Bogart, American actor

"The surest way to get rid of a bore is to lend money to him." - Paul Louis Courier

"Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends." - Larry Wilde

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Retirement Options

Strange Retirement Options:

You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona , where...
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open
your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

You can retire to California , where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone ask s you how far something is, you tell them how long it
will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can retire to New York City , where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan ....
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to
Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "Nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you
multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. ( Editor's note: if you have a car)


You can retire to Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can retire to the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jim Bob, Jimmy Joe, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know
the difference, too.

You can retire to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the
daycare center to get her.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can retire to the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

OR You can retire to Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Humidity can necessitate a shower if you've walked from your front door to the car.
6. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.


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VOL 1167 - Nov 25, 2012 - 75 Profound But Really Strange Questions

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