Sonntag, 6. September 2009

Vol 831 - Sept. 06, 2009 - STRANGE TESTS & QUIZES - The Official Moron Test

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

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Strange THOUGHTFUL THOUGHTS.....

"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on me?" --Marilyn Pittman

"When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?" --Robin Williams

"A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together.
Solution? I sent them to her dad." --Christopher Case

"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her." --Ellen DeGeneres

"A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.'" --Jake Johansen

"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." --Dick Cavett

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait." --A. Whitney Brown

"I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget." --Michael McShane

"Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork.
God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?"
--Jon Stewart

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - The Official Moron Test


1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?

4. How many outs are there in an inning?

5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?

6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?

7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?

8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?

9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?

10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?

11. A butcher in the market is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?

13. What was the President's name in 1960?

Here are the answers:

1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?
...Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
....One (1). You can only be born once.

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
....Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.

4. How many outs are there in an inning?
... Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning.

5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?
...No. He must be dead if it is his widow.

6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?
.... Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60.

7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?
.Two (2). You take two apples, therefore YOU have TWO apples.

8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
.....One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only one hour has passed.

9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?
.... Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die.

10. How many animals of each sex did Moses have on the ark?
..... None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark.

11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10 tall. What does he weigh?
.... Meat ... that is self-explanatory.

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
..Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? Twelve. It's a dozen.

13. What was the President's name in 1960?
..Georgw W. Bush. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.

So, how did we do?

13 correct.........GENIUS...you are good.

10-12 correct....ABOVE AVERAGE...but don't let it go to your head.

7-9 correct........AVERAGE...but who wants to be average?

4-6 correct..........SLOW...pay attention to the questions!

1-3 correct..........IDIOT...what else can be said?

0 correct......CONGRATULATIONS, you are a certified MORON!


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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

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