Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 821 - August 02, 2009 - You Know You're Church Is A Redneck Church........

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

OVER 10,000 GREAT OLDE PICTURES AND IMAGES DATING BACK TO
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Strange Quotes About "Music"

"Assassins!" - Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra

"Anything too stupid to be said, is sung." - Voltaire

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." - Elvis Presley

"Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things."
- Oscar Hammerstein, working lyric for "My Favorite Things", The Sound of Music

"2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time." - inside a Pepsi cap

"Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian." - H. L. Mencken

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Know You're In A Redneck Church......

IF the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

IF people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

WHEN the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

IF opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

IF a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

IF the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

WHEN in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

IF Baptism is referred to as "branding".

IF high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

IF people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

IF the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

IF the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

IF the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

IF instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.

IF the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

IF the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Strawberry Hill".

IF "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

IF the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 2. August 2009

Vol 821 - August 02, 2009 - You Know You're Church Is A Redneck Church........

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