Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 789 - Apr. 12, 2009

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

OVER 5,000 GREAT PICTURES AND IMAGES OF FARMS, FARMERS AND THE STRANGE THINGS THEY DO! STRANGE FOODS & VEGETABLES THEY GROW - THE STRANGE EQUIPMENT THEY RUN AND THE STRANGE BARNS AND BUILDINGS THEY WORK IN. ALSO - INTERNATIONAL FARMS AND FIELDS - STRANGE FARM ANIMALS! - FUN FARM STUFF!

LET YOUR FARM FRIENDS KNOW ABOUT THIS FUN NEW SITE!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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Strange "Beer" Quotes

Jack Handy. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink beer, they may be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "Is it better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver?"

William Butler Yeats. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.

Henny Youngman, When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Stephen Wright. 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Dave Barry. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Dean Martin. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Anonymous. Beer: because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange 7 Question Test

1. A lady read a book, turned the light out and went to sleep. In the morning, when she saw in the newspaper that a ship had sunk drowning all on board, she committed suicide. Why?

2. A young man entered a bar and asked for a glass of water. The person behind the bar produced a gun and pointed it at the man. He replied, "Thank you," and walked off. Why?

3. Imagine you are driving a Mercedes at 100 mph. The steering locks. The doors lock. The brakes fail. You can't get out! You're heading for a 1,000 foot cliff! What do you do?

4. 2 + 2 + 5 = 247. Add one small line to make the sum correct.

5. Luke had it before. Paul had it behind. Ladies have it at the beginning, but only once. Abraham Lincoln had it twice. Boys cannot have it at all. Doctor Lowell had it before and behind. He actually had it twice as bad behind as he had it in front. What is it?

6. A man once broke all of the Ten Commandments. He lied, stole (the value of the article is irrelevant), lusted—which the Bible says is "to commit adultery in his heart," failed to love God above all else, failed to honor his parents, as well as to keep the Sabbath holy. He hated (which God sees as murder), failed to honor God's name, and he also "coveted," which means to want other people's things. How could God, who is perfect and holy (and therefore by His very nature must punish transgression of His Law), forgive him freely, and yet justice still be done? How can the man avoid Hell and go to Heaven?

7. A man on horseback went on a two day trip. He left on Tuesday and arrived home on Tuesday. How could this be?

Answers:

1. She was a lighthouse keeper.

2. He had the hiccups.

3. You stop "imagining."

4. Put a line on the first "+," from the top left, making it into a "4."

2 4 2 + 5 = 247

5. It is the letter "L."

6. The only way the man could avoid being found guilty on Judgment Day when all humanity gives "an account of every idle word," is to repent (turn from his sins) and put his faith in Jesus Christ. He will not do this if he doesn't see his danger. If he is deceived into thinking that God doesn't see his thought-life, or that God won't punish sin (meaning He has less sense of justice than humanity), then he will carry on in his sins. More than likely this will happen because he is ignorant of the fact that the Bible says the only way to enter Heaven is to have "clean hands and a pure heart." But if he is honest and listens to his conscience, he will see he has broken the Commandments, and when all the evidence comes out on Judgment Day, he will be found guilty and end up in Hell. He needs God's mercy. When Jesus died on the cross, He took the punishment for our sins, satisfying eternal justice and at the same time demonstrating God's incredible love for sinful humanity. The mom
ent the man repents and puts his faith in the Savior, God will forgive his sins and give him the gift of everlasting life. He then should read the Bible daily and obey what he reads, showing himself to be genuine in his faith. (He could also write to us for a free Gospel of John).

7. The name of the horse was "Tuesday."

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 12. April 2009

Vol 789 - Apr. 12, 2009 - Strange 7 Question Test

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