Montag, 14. Mai 2007

Vol 589 - May 13, 2007 - Strange Hospital Chart Notations

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

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Strange Quotes:

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it..." -- Oprah Winfrey

"It's the friends you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that really matter…" -- Marlene Dietrich

"This day I will marry my best friend, the one I laugh with, live for, love."
This is what rapper Eminem wrote on the invitation card to his wedding to his ex-wife Kim on January 14, 2006.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." - Oprah Winfrey

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Hospital Chart Notations

Strange Hospital Chart Notations

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

The skin was moist and dry.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

The patient was prepped and raped in the usual manner.

Examination reveals a well-developed male laying in bed with his family in no distress.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

She is numb from her toes down.

Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

While in the emergency room, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.


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