Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Mittwoch, 14. Oktober 2009

Vol 842 - Oct. 14, 2009 - Strange Conversion Units

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

OVER 10,000 GREAT OLDE PICTURES AND IMAGES DATING BACK TO
THE FIRST PICTURES EVER TAKEN - HISTORY - WILD WEST - WORLD WARS
OLDE SPORTS - HEROES & VILLAINS - AUTOS & SHIPS - RAILROADS - A-BOMBS
WEAPONS - OLDE MEDICAL EQUIPMENT - OLDE ADVERTISING - OLDE MOVIE STARS
SILENT PICTURES - STARLETS - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - TRAVEL

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes: When Insults Had Class

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Conversion Units

For all who have difficulty converting units:

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

1 million- microphones = 1 megaphone

2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

365.25 days = 1 unicycle

2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

52 cards = 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

10 rations = 1 decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration

2 monograms = 1 diagram

4 nickels = 2 paradigms

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

AND.......100 Senators = Not 1 decision

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE MOTOCROSS RACERS - LOOK BEHIND - RIDER IN TROUBLE! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/155309.html

GREAT AMERICAN CARS FROM THE 40'S & 50'S - 1949 CHRYSLER TOWN & COUNTRY CONVERTIBLE - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/155719.html

STRANGE OLDE CUSTOM CARS - OLDE OPEN COCKPIT - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/154964.html

STRANGE BUSINESS WINDOW WARNING - I DON'T DIAL 911! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/156252.html

F-16'S LINED UP IN AFRICA - HIPPO GRAZES NEXT DOOR! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/156269.html

STRANGE ELEPHANTS - BASKETBALL SLAM DUNK! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/156284.html

REDNECK COMPLIES WITH COURT ORDER FROM DIVORCE JUDGE - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/156321.html

CALGARY FLAMES HOCKEY GOALIE READY FOR SOME BLONDE ACTION - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/156337.html

STRANGE LITTLE MICRO-PIGS! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/156340.html

STRANGE 1959 EDSEL CAR / BACKHOE / DIGGER ! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/156341.html

STRANGE SPORTS - FISHERMAN CATCHES LOON AND FISH! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/155998.html

STRANGE BAR-B-QUE GRILLS! - PIG & BULL - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/156191.html

EMT HAS TROUBLE PICKING UP STRETCHER - FACE PLANT DOESN'T HELP PATIENT! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/156253.html

MILITARY JET NIGHTTIME COCKPIT INSTRUMENT PANEL - AIRFIELD ALL LIT UP - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/156293.html

STRANGE & GOOFY INVENTIONS - FACE DOWN PILLOW! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/156295.html

NO VENDING SIGN ON STATE HIGHWAY - YEAH RIGHT! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/156338.html

1893 CHICAGO WORLDS FAIR - HUGE FERRIS WHEEL - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/156339.html

OLDE WWI WAR PHOTOS - TANK - SOLDIER IN DITCH - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/156234.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - CARS - TRUCKS - MOTORCYCLES - BOATS - ALL KINDS OF VEHICLES

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/27_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Aussie & European International Security Levels - What They Really Mean! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/156320.html

The Strange History of The Taxi - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/156333.html

What's the Difference Between an Alligator and a Crocodile - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/156334.html

The Strange Sad History of Vincent Van Gogh - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/156335.html

Strange Business Signs - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/24900.html

Aptronyms - Names That Match the Occupation - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/25079.html

You Might Be a Geologist If ... - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/25415.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - CARS - TRUCKS - MOTORCYCLES - BOATS - ALL KINDS OF VEHICLES

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

Sonntag, 11. Oktober 2009

Vol 841 - Oct. 11, 2009 - Strange Questions That Will Always Remain Unanswered

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange "Why I'm So Great" quotes:

I'm the Connie Francis of rock 'n' roll. - Elton John

I mean, it's unheard of for somebody to hit 70 home runs, so I'm like in awe of myself right now. - St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire after finishing the baseball season with a two-homer day, giving him a record 70 for the year. Sept. 27, 1998.

I say I'm Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin all wrapped up into one. If I die early ... I'll be just like those guys. - Dennis Rodman, 1997

I'm not an egomaniac like a lot of people say. But I am the world's best dancer, that's for sure. - Michael Flatley

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults. - David Lee Roth

I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man. - Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher. - Linda Evangelista, 1997

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Questions That Will Always Remain Unanswered.

1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

4. Is there another word for synonym?

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"

6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE OLDE CUSTOM CARS - BUBBLE TOP ASTROCAR - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/154963.html

STRANGE OLDE CONCEPT CARS - 1951 BUICK LESABRE CONVERTIBLE - COOL DUAL HEADLIGHT! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/155477.html

STRANGE SPORTS - WHITE WATER RAFTING TERROR - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/155992.html

THE DANGERS OF HIGH SPEED MOTORCYCLE RACING - 3 - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/156110.html

STRANGE WOODEN 'LOG' WHEELS - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/156115.html

STRANGE HOT AIR BALLOONS ! - STRANGE GREEN PUMPKIN - MOUSE & SALAMANDER - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/156177.html

WORLDS TALLEST BUILDINGS - SKYSCRAPERS CHART - COMPARISON - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/156227.html

STRANGE SQUIRREL MASSAGE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/156246.html

STRANGE DOUBLE TOE BALANCING ACT - AMAZING GYMNASTS - 2 - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/155818.html

STRANGE CAMOUFLAGE PAINT JOB P RUSSIAN MILITARY JET - MIG - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/156092.html

STRANGE SNOW VEHICLES AND MACHINES - PROPELLER POWERED - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/156121.html

STRANGE 6 WHEEL PICKUP TRUCK - MOUNTAIN COURSE CLIMB - HUGE CRACK - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/156184.html

STRANGE BAR-B-QUE GRILLS! - WORLD'S LARGEST - 10 DOORS - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/156188.html

STRANGE CELEBRITY HIGH SCHOOL PICTURES - KATE GOSSELIN - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/155918.html

FARM PIG IN STRANGE SPECIALLY DESIGNED MACHINE - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/156109.html

THE STRANGE MOLLER SKYCAR! - LOOKING DOWN - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/156224.html

OLDE CIVIL WAR PHOTOS - BASE CAMP - TENTS - CORRAL - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/156232.html

STRANGE TAXIS & CABS FROM AROUND THE WORLD - TRIKE - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/155972.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - BRIDGES - BUILDINGS - GAS STATIONS - JUNK YARDS - DEALERSHIPS - PARKING LOTS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100726_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Glossary - American vs English Meanings - http://www.strangecollege.com/content/item/119405.html

Compatibility Test For Lovers - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/122776.html

Top 15 Strangest Coincidences - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/126470.html

Strange Test - Are You From The Ghetto or Suburbs? - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/127887.html

Olde 'Burma Shave' Roadway Signs! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/128798.html

Colonoscopy - Which Body Part Should be in Charge? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/130131.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - BRIDGES - BUILDINGS - GAS STATIONS - JUNK YARDS - DEALERSHIPS - PARKING LOTS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/110_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Freitag, 9. Oktober 2009

[b3ta] "The second most-searched word on google - Pron"

Diese Zusammenfassung ist nicht verfügbar. Klicke hier, um den Post aufzurufen.

Mittwoch, 7. Oktober 2009

Vol 840 - Oct. 07, 2009 - Strange Facts From Fly-over Country for East & West Coast Elite Snobs

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange "Insults" to Famous Celebrities:

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body. - Walter Matthau (to Barbra Streisand)

Zsa Zsa Gabor has been married so many times she has rice marks on her face. - Henny Youngman

She's like an apple turnover that got crushed in a grocery bag on a hot day. - Camille Paglia (about Drew Barrymore)

The worst and most homeliest thing to hit the screens since Liza Minelli. - John Simon (about Shelley Duvall)

Hah! I always knew Frank would end up in bed with a boy! - Ava Gardner (about Mia Farrow's marriage to Frank Sinatra)

I look at my friendship with her as like having a gall stone. You deal with it, there is pain, and then you pass it. That's all I have to say about Schmadonna. - Sandra Bernhard (about Madonna)

Not in this lifetime. Why? Because I'm the only one she hasn't done it to. - Sharon Stone (when told Madonna has said she wants to kiss her)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Facts From Fly-over Country for East & West Coast Elite Snobs

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross into states such as Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska, the Tourism Councils in those states have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Midwesterner's mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter the states.

1. That slope-shouldered farm body did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road". No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we shot Bambi, we got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped...by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us when a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13 inch trout you fish for - "bait".

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an Idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That's right, whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So, you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use four weeks a year.

12. Let's get it straight. We have one stop light in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish, carp too - and turtle. Your really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 69 goes two ways. State Road 24 goes the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.

16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

19. That Officer, be it Conservation Officer, sheriff deputy, city police, or highway patrol that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot - his name is "Sir".

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE OLDE EXERCISE EQUIPMENT - BACK - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/155675.html

STRANGE JAPANESE WOODEN TRIKE! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/155308.html

STRANGE OLDE CARS - 1959 CHEVROLET BROOKWWOD STATION WAGON - FINS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/155471.html

GREAT AMERICAN CARS FROM THE 50'S & 60'S - 1962 FORD THUNDERBIRD CONVERTIBLE - BIG RED! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/155701.html

STRANGE CREEPY TATTOOS - DRAGON FLY - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/155984.html

BIRDS - HUGE FLOCK OF BIRDS NEAR THE FARM - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/155985.html

STRANGE SPORTS - TRACK & FIELD TUMBLE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/155987.html

COOL HIGH MOUNTAIN WATERFALL - AMAZING RAINBOW! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/156066.html

AMAZING WATERSPOUT ABOUT TO COME ON SHORE - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/156068.html

STRANGE NEW SOLID RUBBER MILITARY TIRE - HONEY COMB DESIGN - NO AIR PRESSURE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/156069.html

STRANGE ANIMAL PROBLEMS - STRANGE TADPOLE/FROG - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/154851.html

TRIPLE HULLED STEALTH USS INDEPENDENCE - LCS-2 - BOW VIEW - STRANGE HULL SHAPE - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/155870.html

STRANGE BEACH WAVE BREAKING ON SHORE - CRYSTAL CLEAR WATER! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/156001.html

F-102A - RARE PROTOTYPE MILITARY JET - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/156064.html

A-10 WARTHOG - DEADLY & DANGEROUS - UP CLOSE - LOOK DOWN VIEW - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/156003.html

SEXY BRIDE WITH CIGARETTE READY TO RIDE OFF ON JOHN DEERE TRACTOR - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/156024.html

STRANGE BLONDE GYMNAST DOING ONE HAND HAND STAND IN BATGIRL OUTFIT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/156065.html

STRANGE WALKING WHEEL - DO YOU FEEL LIKE A HAMSTER? - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/156067.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - FOOTBALL - NFL - COLLEGE - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100020_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Books - Most Expensive Schoolbook Ever Sold? - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/155905.html

10 Strange Competitions - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/156070.html

10 Strange Occupations - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/156071.html

To ALL the Kids Who Survived the 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's... - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/117229.html

Strange Cat & Kitten Trivia - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/116592.html

Strange Celebrities Who Are Missing Fingers - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/117637.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SS - FOOTBALL - NFL - COLLEGE - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/115_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Sonntag, 4. Oktober 2009

Vol 839 - Oct. 04, 2009 - Strange "Romantic" Poems

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

www.StrangeOldePictures.com !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Little Known Baseball Fact

The first testicular guard (Cup) was used in baseball in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1934.

It took 60 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.

Quotes About "Movies"

Alfred Hitchcock - "The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."

Clint Eastwood - "This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country."

Alfred Hitchcock - "A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it."

Roger Ebert - "Every great film should seem new every time you see it."

Kareem Abdul-Jabar - "My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay."

Kenneth Tynan - "The greatest films are those which show how society shapes man. The greatest plays are those which show how man shapes society."

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange "Romantic" Poems

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's

empty, and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace.

If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.

This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace,

But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you really screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell

Except for maybe "Oh! Go To Hell."

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,

But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE OLDE EXERCISE EQUIPMENT - FEET - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/155674.html

US AIR FORCE MILITARY JETS - COOL NOSE ART - SERPENT - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/154891.html

STRANGE TRACTOR PULL MACHINE - HUGE ENGINE! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/154967.html

STRANGE OLDE CONCEPT CARS - 1953 BUICK WILDCAT CONVERTIBLE - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/155476.html

STRANGE ANIMAL PROBLEMS - ANIMAL FIGHTS IN ACTION! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/154850.html

STRANGE GUNS AND WEAPONS - STRANGE STOCK & CLIP - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/155485.html

OLDE TRAIN WRECKS - DEATH & DESTRUCTION - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/155885.html

STRANGE HOT AIR BALLOON - IT'S A CATHEDRAL! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/155919.html

STRANGE LIZARDS AND IGUANA'S - CLOSE UP! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/155927.html

THE REAPER - SUPER HUNTER-KILLER DRONE - BOUND FOR THE MIDDLE EAST - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/155897.html

STRANGE WHITE DOG MADE STRANGER BY LITTLE BOY WITH MAGIC MARKERS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/155898.html

STRANGE TAXI'S & CABS FROM AROUND THE WORLD - CORVETTE - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/155963.html

STRANGE MULTI LEVEL TRAILER PARK - REDNECK VILLAGE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/155974.html

REDNECK VEHICLES - BICYCLE SNOW PLOW - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/155976.html

BEAUTIFUL DOUBLE RAINBOW OVER THE LAKE - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/155977.html

COLORFUL HOT AIR BALLOON IN THE HIGH DESERT - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/155978.html

1934 ROLL ROYCE PHANTOM II - WORLDS MOST EXPENSIVE CAR - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/155900.html

STRANGE CELEBRITY HIGH SCHOOL PICTURES - RYAN SEACREST - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/155915.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - MISC - CRAZY STUFF - TRAINS - BICYCLES - VANITY PLATES

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100006_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Mondegreens - Mangled Song Lyrics - #1 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/155888.html

Strange Golf - Most Expensive Greens Fees? - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/155903.html

Strange Food - World's Most Expensive Mushroom! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/155904.html

Packing Your Parachute - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/24779.html

Strange Realities - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/24421.html

Important Words to Live By - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/24077.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - MISC - CRAZY STUFF - TRAINS - BICYCLES - VANITY PLATES

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Freitag, 2. Oktober 2009

[b3ta] "Why should I go to someone's funeral if they aren't going to attend mine?"

This Week:
* SONG - Letter to Lily Allen
* CHALLENGE - Hollywood pun porn film titles
* QUESTION - Your IT support tales of woe

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're printing out
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| the web... together"

B3ta email 398 - 2 Oct 2009

Invite your friends to a newsletter party
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue398/

Edlin: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Notepad: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Smile and the whole world smiles with you

Smiling is the universal sign of wellbeing.
It's scientifically proven that smiling makes
you feel and look happier, healthier and more
attractive. So as it's World Mental Health Day
on Saturday 10th October, get smiling with the BBC:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bBt0HDZP5w

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then phone us on 01 811 8055.
Actually that's the old number for Swap Shop,
so just use the form instead:
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Lily Allen, Credit Crunch and 28 days later

>> Letter to Lily Allen <<
A link that's been everywhere this week but was
launched on our very own B3ta Links is Dan
Bull's letter to Lily Allen. It's great because:
1. Adding Lily after every line is
extraordinarily catchy and reminds us of that
joke letter to Richard Branson a while back.
2. It makes its point without resort to name
calling and calling her music shit. (We rather
like her here, despite her silly views)
3. It's just so bloody epic.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Letter_to_Lily_Allen

>> I Spot Credit Crunch <<
Your newsletter team of Rob & Dave made this
yonks ago but it's taken time to go live - hope
you like some of the jokes, we spent bloody
ages doing it.
http://www.e4.com/wtf/credit-crunch/

>> 28 Days Later, in one minute, in one take. <<
Cap'n writes, "Hello! Is this too late for the
newsletter? I've just finished the new one
minute, one take film - it's 28 Days Later. We
were going to have the Christopher Eccleston
guy say, 'I'm here to help you... help you with
RAPE', but we decided that this was terrible.
But yes, very much hope you like it."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/28_Days_Later_in_one_minute_in_one_take

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
IT Help Desk

Last week we asked for your tales of the IT
help desk. One of the few jobs where browsing
B3ta all day is not only possible, but
compulsory:
http://b3ta.com/questions/helpdesk/

* STUCK IN A DOOR - "We had an extremely
aggressive Dept Head in one bit of the company,
who was renowned throughout for the bollockings
he liberally distributed and his no-nonsense
manner. He was also a boozer and schmoozer, and
a bit of a porker. Let's call him Jim Clark.
One afternoon when he was out on the lash, his
Department concocted a test to see just how
scary he was. They would email various people
round the building with ridiculous requests and
see how quickly they were complied with. One
email to Facilities went 'SENT FROM MY
BLACKBERRY' appended to the end, saying 'I'm
stuck in the door to my office. Send someone to
free me, NOW!' Sure enough, two blokes in
overalls turn up five minutes later, looking
apprehensive, to find a department in hysterics
and no Jim Clark stuck in the door."
(SnowyTheRabbit)

* STAR SPOOGE - "I was once hired by a swanky
London meeja agency as their resident nerd
because I `looked good bending over'. Having
great tocks generally doesn't send a girl geek
to the dizzying heights of IT support mastery,
but it got me a job and that job paid for beer.
One of the reasons that they needed a fine
filly to crawl around underneath desks was
because of their high-profile clients. These
were international stars, genuinely some of the
biggest names in the world. Who liked porn. I
received one laptop from an international star.
It was caked in sperm. It was splodged
everywhere, and there wasn't any way I was
going to bloody touch it. I decided to have a
word with the MD: "I understand that X is a
very powerful man, but he submitted his laptop
and it was covered in 'white stuff'" "Ah, don't
worry. He's got a bit of a problem with
cocaine." "Ah, erm, ah, no. I meant that every
damned inch of his laptop is covered in
ejaculate." An ungodly amount of antibac wipes
and rubber gloves later, I found out that his
laptop was well and truly fried after a year of
semen seepage. Did he never consider cleaning
up after himself?" (TheSnark)

* BLADESERVER - "Can I just say to all the
people who work in IT, IT/Support and hate
their jobs? Fuck off and get a new career. I've
now got over 25 years service in and I can't
think of a better career... I've seen things
you people wouldn't believe. Sun-servers on
fire over the shoulder of Ryan. I watched
tape-reels glitter in the dark near the
Mailgate. All those backups will be lost in
time, like tears in rain. Time ... to die."
(Legless)

>> This Week's Question: Neighbours <<
We have a theory about neighbours - the ones
that have lives are busy having lives and don't
need to pester you, whilst the ones you want to
be friends? Be very afraid indeed.
http://b3ta.com/questions/neighbours/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Laughing at Yahoo Answers <<
"Have you seen this joy-factory?" writes
celebrity newsletter reader Ben Goldacre. He
also suggests we should do a Question of the
Week on hitchhiking but as we've never ever
thumbed a lift we were less sure about that.
http://badquestionsforyahooanswers.blogspot.com/

>> Will you marry me? <<
Bloke makes a sign saying, "Marry me Jennifer"
but then follows it will another 4 signs that
rub salt into the wounds. Revenge is a dish
best served on a billboard. Keep pressing next.
http://bit.ly/G30L9

>> The power of make-up <<
Really eye-opening series of pictures showing
how incredible the effect of make-up can be -
reminds us of that old gag, "Why do women wear
make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and
they stink." BTW: If any B3tan man wants to do
a similar experiment then send it in.
http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/the-power-of-make-up.html

>> Dating site lols <<
A 28 year-old guy makes a profile of a hot girl
on a free dating site and keeps a record of the
conversations. You might assume this would be
all about getting blokes to do horrid sex chat,
but no, it goes off in an entirely different
direction that's 100% on the money - there's
desperate spinsters on these sites with their
egg-clocks a-ticking.
http://nofirstdate.com/

>> Old people are cool <<
A couple of links we're running together as
they're variations on a theme. The first being
photos of your parents looking cool, and the
second being photos of mostly old people, who
if you're young you might be able to take style
inspiration from. Seeing as we spotted blokes
wearing pink tights in London's Shoreditch
recently, we reckon anything goes. That's why
we're wearing a rara skirt and deely boppers.
http://myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com/
http://accidentalfresh.com/

>> Emails from Adland <<
A collection of emails sent from people working
in advertising to people working in
advertising. It's wonderfully voyeuristsic -
and as we haven't worked regularly in an office
since about 2001 - it almost makes us nostalgic.
http://emailsfromadland.blogspot.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Must return your downloads else you'll get fined

>> Bloke scares the shit out of his girlfriend <<
Boyfriend places dummy head on the pillow and
then wakes her using a broomstick. We know it's
meant to be funny, but it's more like the work
of a psychopath in training. Still, guys will
watching it hoping the girl is hot.
http://acidcow.com/video/4284-scared_in_bed_by_head.html

>> Gayest cat in the world <<
According to wikipedia, "Jazz hands is a
gesture that projects exuberance often
associated with the performing arts." Well,
what Wikipedia doesn't know is that it was
invented by cats. BTW: Cats also invented being
aloof, hissing and passive-aggressive shitting
in people's shoes.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/snicker/3395944637/

>> 'Bacon is good for me!' <<
"Have you done the Bacon Is Good For Me kid
yet?" asks kittwalkerphoto. Erm no, mainly as
we saw the remix and didn't realise quite how
good the original was.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T_obaO46Bo

>> Graphic Designer vs client <<
Anybody who's ever had a client - nor just gfx
nerds - will find something to recognise in
this video. BTW: Our tip for difficult clients?
Hide from them until they stop employing you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfprIxNfCjk

>> Japanese Carter USM <<
OK, for the young people at the back, in the
early 90s there was a really shit indie band
called Carter USM. They were dreadful - they
looked crap and their songs were rotten. Who
would have thought that nearly 20 years later
there would be a Japanese tribute act? Thank
you internet, we've now seen it all.
http://www.youtube.com/user/isolation2004jp

-------------------------------------------------

: WHY YOU SHOULDN'T VEET YOUR FACE
Our members write in, in their droves

Last week we suggested our members use ladies'
depilatory creme on their faces instead of
shaving - it seems that many of you have had
similar thoughts whilst bored in the bathroom
and with disastrous consequences:

* "BURNED LIKE FUCK!" - "Please don't ask blokes
to Immac (or Veet) their beard ! I tried it
about 20 years ago, having got really, really
bored with shaving. What happened ? It BURNED
LIKE FUCK, my face swelled to about twice its
normal size and was bright red, painful and
tender for three sodding days. Not a single
sodding hair fell out." (The Mighty Gusset)

* "TOOK WEEKS TO HEAL!" - "Facial hair removing
creams specifically tell you not to put it on
your neck. A few years back I disregarded this
warning and my neck turned into one veiny,
giant 'love bite' which took weeks to fully
heal. Hair removal creams chemically burn the
skin if left on longer than it says on the
packet. A fraction of the recommended time is
enough to damage the thin skin on the neck. The
packets say don't use it on your neck, and I
can personally endorse this. (loveaintgonnawait)

* "OLD LADIES' CHINS!" - "my now-deceased nana
used to use it on her lady beard. You know,
those tough stray hairs on old ladies' chins.
She would slather it around her mouth, and
then, instead of using the palette knife like
remover, she would scrape it off with a butter
knife. All whilst sat at the kitchen table.
When done, the knife would have a quick rinse
and then be put back in the drawer. Lovely
lady, honestly." (Marcella)

* "NO MORE SKIN!" - "I remember guy at my
school did this and it successfully took off
the hair from his beard. It also took all the
skin off his chin with it." (mikearthur)

* "BRIGHT PURPLE!" - "I used to work with a guy
who was phenomenally hairy. He'd shave on a
morning and by the time he got to work he'd
have half an inch of stubble. One day he
thought "bugger it, I'm sick of looking like a
bloody wino all the time, I'll use some of that
stuff the wife does her legs with" and
liberally blethered half a tube of the foul
caustic slop about his fuzzy chops. When he
reached work, his face was indeed entirely
hairless. Unfortunately it was also bright
purple and twice its usual size, and we could
still smell the burning as the relentless Immac
continued its grim task deep inside the poor
sod's follicles. Immac on the face - don't try
this at home, kids." (ratbag)

* "THREADS-Y RADIATION VICTIM - "Immacing a
beard? I'm ashamed to say that I did that at
about the age of seventeen. I'd been shaving
for 5 years by then and with some kind of
half-arsed teenage logic thought that my mam's
depilation cream would be a real time-saver, as
well as making stubble rash a thing of the
past. 15 minutes later and my jaw reeks of eggs
and ammonia and my stubble is coming off in
uneven clumps. I persevere however. 45 minutes
later and I'm resembling a tear-streaked,
Threads-y radiation victim, my neck is burning
white-hot like it has a vicious space-STD. I
stop persevering and reach for the razor,
wincing. It's about four hours until the
devil-egg smell fades, and four DAYS later that
the burning and angry redness finally subside.
There are still a couple of patches of my beard
zone where hair will still not grow, thirteen
years on." (Doran)

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Ooooooh. Rudies!

* KUMON KIDS - The maths-based funny name that
just keeps on giving. Surely somebody has told
them by now?
http://www.kumon.co.uk/kumon-kids/index.htm

* MINGE TENNIS - How did Boabmaster find this
unfortunate lady? "I was basically googling
'minge tennis'," he sheepishly admits.
http://www.wmalumni.com/person/4505515/Minge-Tennis.htm

* ARSE SPORT- Well, any hole's a goal... would
have been a better gag if this wasn't clearly a
bike shop.
http://www.arsesport.be/v1/index/index.asp

-------------------------------------------------

: SHIT INTERNET DRAGONS' DEN
Advertising on bog roll

"Hello crap-dragons," begins Tom Marianczak.
"Maybe a feature in the newsletter will make us
all billionaires!" His mind-boggling get-rich
scheme is printing classified ads on toilet
paper. We understand the same thinking was
behind putting Osama Bin Laden's face on bog
roll - and now he's the most-loved man in the
world.
http://www.lavad.co.uk

If you've got a really crap internet business
that makes people go, "wtf? that's just stupid"
then get in touch.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Modern Bible Challenge

Last week we asked you to bring the Bible up
to date for today's youth. We got long term
B3ta fan, the Revd. Robbie Pearson to find
the entries that were, in his words, "not
only funny but make really excellent
theological sense":

* 10 MORE COMMANDMENTS - "Brilliant and so true.
Hmm, must get this one into a sermon -
are there copyright issues?" (mushroom)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9709521

* BIBLE CLASSES - "Frankly don't understand a
word of it, but that's why we have exegesis."
(monkeon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9713969

* GOD SWAP - "At first sight this seems obvious
but it has deeper layers which made me ponder
the nature of it all. Whatever that is."
(squidboot)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9709666

All these images, and the highest as
voted by you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/modernbible/

>> New challenge: Reborn As Porn <<

Take existing films, books, video games, whatever
and remake them as porn movies:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/rebornasporn/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* BORING LIFE MESSAGES - in In newsletter 394
we asked for, "FUCK OUR LIFE - FML for married
people." BadBadman replies, "Well I came up
with something for grownups along those lines
(but SFW)."
http://www.thingsyouthought.com

* BRITA WILL NOT FILTER PISS - pixel.guru
complains that our recent requests is 100%
nonsense, "You can't just use a Brita filter to
make wee drinkable. You have to use a reverse
osmosis pump to get all the yucky ions and
things out, but it still tastes a bit like wee.
I saw it on this 'ARE THESE HOLLYWOOD THINGS
POSSIBLE' show years ago, and then again when
brainiac stole the idea."

* DOES SPUNK GLOW UNDER UV? - Kipper writes, "I
used to work in Preston, Lancashire's Premiere
Shite Discotheque and you would often see ropey
slappers inadvertantly dancing under the UV
lights with bright blue splodges on their chin!"

Although another B3tan SLVA says it doesn't
work on fresh semen, only dried semen, "I
bought a handheld UV-blacklight thing and spunk
was the first thing I tested with it when I got
home. In my experience, no it doesn't. Skip
forward a year or two, and we're replacing the
bedroom carpet and noticed some peculiar
markings on the floorboards. I dug out the
blacklight and the boards lit up like the walls
in a rave warehouse. Or a crime scene,
depending on your point of view. As gross as it
sounds, it was then that I realised where Mrs
SLVA had been flicking/spitting my nocturnal
emissions after bedtime fun." Nice, and we bet
she's happy with your sharing that story.

SLVA also suggests that we should "Get a UV
lamp, go in the bathroom in the dark and you'll
know what Howard Hughes felt like in his final
years." As John Lennon sang, "Instant OCD's
gonna get you."

* WILL 2P DROPPED FROM ON HIGH KILL YOU?
Nirmeth writes, "Nope - because a penny spins
its drag is so large when it's horizontal that a
penny will reach a terminal velocity of about
30mph on average." Also many of you sent in
the mythbusters link on the same idea:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUS89-_fbtk

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* GPS BEER IPHONE THING - robertptaylor
suggests, "As the office clock slowly ticks
around to knocking-off time, someone mentions
going for a well-deserved, cool, refreshing
pint - but where?

"This is where my idea comes in - an iPhone
application that uses the phone's inbuilt GPS
capabilities and tells you which of the pubs
nearest to you;

"a) have beer gardens b) if said beer garden is
still in the sun and c) for how much longer."

* MAKE MONEY FROM DODGY 0900 NUMBERS - tommygun
writes, "I've got a few great moneymaking
ideas. When I say great, I mean shit.

1. Rent a billboard, and get a couple of 0900
premium rate numbers from BT. Put up on massive
billboards something very controversial i.e.
Should black people be allowed to mow the lawn?
vote YES 0900 -- -- -- vote NO 0900 -- -- --

2. Get another 0900 number from BT. Hire a van.
Get a 'how's my driving?' sticker with the 0900
number printed on. Put sticker on back of van.
Drive like a cunt."

* SEEING AS WE'VE GOT TO FILL UP THIS SECTION -
with a third useless idea we'll look around the
room and see what springs to mind. MICROPHONE
COCKS! Stick the muffler foam bit from a mic
onto your penis and get ladies to sing into it.
No? Ok. Fuck it, it'll do.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel
with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by
@greebowarrior, paul moyses, augsav, Shazzoir,
@SetecAstronomy, @danielbevis, HoratioFellatio,
Muler, @ElectricSpectre, @kittwalkerphoto,
boabmaster, lardpig, @Noit, @RareLtd and
@AndrewMcPlastic. Additional linkage and image
challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW
bloke. Subjlols via ac123. A surprise back from
the dead hello to b4ta.

-------------------------------------------------

When people ask me what I do, I tell them I
test rape alarms. It sounds better than saying
I'm a rapist.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

__._,_.___

Messages in this topic (1) Reply (via web post) | Start a new topic

Messages | Photos

Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Mittwoch, 14. Oktober 2009

Vol 842 - Oct. 14, 2009 - Strange Conversion Units

Sonntag, 11. Oktober 2009

Vol 841 - Oct. 11, 2009 - Strange Questions That Will Always Remain Unanswered

Freitag, 9. Oktober 2009

[b3ta] "The second most-searched word on google - Pron"

Mittwoch, 7. Oktober 2009

Vol 840 - Oct. 07, 2009 - Strange Facts From Fly-over Country for East & West Coast Elite Snobs

Sonntag, 4. Oktober 2009

Vol 839 - Oct. 04, 2009 - Strange "Romantic" Poems

Freitag, 2. Oktober 2009

[b3ta] "Why should I go to someone's funeral if they aren't going to attend mine?"

Cool Stuff from Amazon

Blog-Archiv