Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 840 - Oct. 07, 2009 - Strange Facts From Fly-over Country for East & West Coast Elite Snobs

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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INTRODUCING THE NEWEST 'STRANGE' FAMILY MEMBER!

OVER 10,000 GREAT OLDE PICTURES AND IMAGES DATING BACK TO
THE FIRST PICTURES EVER TAKEN - HISTORY - WILD WEST - WORLD WARS
OLDE SPORTS - HEROES & VILLAINS - AUTOS & SHIPS - RAILROADS - A-BOMBS
WEAPONS - OLDE MEDICAL EQUIPMENT - OLDE ADVERTISING - OLDE MOVIE STARS
SILENT PICTURES - STARLETS - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - TRAVEL

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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Strange "Insults" to Famous Celebrities:

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body. - Walter Matthau (to Barbra Streisand)

Zsa Zsa Gabor has been married so many times she has rice marks on her face. - Henny Youngman

She's like an apple turnover that got crushed in a grocery bag on a hot day. - Camille Paglia (about Drew Barrymore)

The worst and most homeliest thing to hit the screens since Liza Minelli. - John Simon (about Shelley Duvall)

Hah! I always knew Frank would end up in bed with a boy! - Ava Gardner (about Mia Farrow's marriage to Frank Sinatra)

I look at my friendship with her as like having a gall stone. You deal with it, there is pain, and then you pass it. That's all I have to say about Schmadonna. - Sandra Bernhard (about Madonna)

Not in this lifetime. Why? Because I'm the only one she hasn't done it to. - Sharon Stone (when told Madonna has said she wants to kiss her)

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Facts From Fly-over Country for East & West Coast Elite Snobs

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross into states such as Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska, the Tourism Councils in those states have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Midwesterner's mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter the states.

1. That slope-shouldered farm body did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road". No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we shot Bambi, we got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped...by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us when a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13 inch trout you fish for - "bait".

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an Idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That's right, whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So, you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use four weeks a year.

12. Let's get it straight. We have one stop light in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish, carp too - and turtle. Your really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 69 goes two ways. State Road 24 goes the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.

16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

19. That Officer, be it Conservation Officer, sheriff deputy, city police, or highway patrol that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot - his name is "Sir".

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Mittwoch, 7. Oktober 2009

Vol 840 - Oct. 07, 2009 - Strange Facts From Fly-over Country for East & West Coast Elite Snobs

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