Vol 765 - Jan 18, 2009 - Strange Laws Around The World

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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Strange Celebrity Quotes:

Any idiot can get laid when they're famous. That's easy. It's getting laid when you're not famous that takes some talent. - Kevin Bacon, 1996

Being a sex symbol has to do with an attitude, not looks. Most men think it's looks, most women know otherwise. - Kathleen Turner (1986)

Blind faith in your leaders, or in anything, will get you killed. - Bruce Springsteen

Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too. - George Burns

Brevity is the soul of lingerie. - Dorothy Parker

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. - Steve Landesberg

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Laws Around The World

Check out these nutty laws from across the U.S.A. and around the globe!

* In Alabama, prison guards are forbidden from referring to their spouses as "the old ball 'n' chain."

* In Los Angeles, it's illegal for a waiter to tell a customer "I'm really an actor."

* In Indiana, it's against the law to dress "Barbie" in "Ken's" clothes.

* In Sedona, Ariz., it's illegal to lie about your astrological sign.

* In Texas, it's illegal to threaten somebody with an UNLOADED gun.

* In Samoa, it's a crime to forget your wife's birthday.

* In Australia, it's illegal to name any animal you plan to eat.

* In Cannes, France, it's illegal to wear a Jerry Lewis mask.

* In New Jersey, answering a traffic cop who asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" by saying, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" is an automatic $300 fine.

* In Kentucky, it's illegal to paint your lawn red.

* In Portugal, it's against the law to pee in the ocean.

* In Connecticut, night watchmen are forbidden from drinking decaf coffee while working.

* In Vermont, it's illegal to pick your nose and stick the pickings under a table.

* In Tennessee, it's illegal to tell someone to quit smoking.

* In Oregon, donut holes must be at least an 1/8th inch in diameter.

* In Georgia, it's illegal to teach a child under 5 the words "penis" and "vagina."

* Unmarried women are not allowed to buy edible panties in South Carolina.

* In Italy, anyone considered "obese" is forbidden from wearing polyester.

* It's illegal to tear a phone book in half in Montana.

* Anyone caught selling a "smoothie" that has lumps is breaking the law in California.

* In Arkansas, it's illegal for a woman getting married for the second time to wear a white wedding gown.

* In Pennsylvania, it's against the law to put a dollar on a string on the ground and yank it when someone tries to pick it up.

* In New York City, it's illegal for a restaurant to call it a "corned beef sandwich" if it's made with white bread and mayonnaise.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE AND GOOFY HOUSES! - A LITTLE CROOKED! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146273.html

STRANGE 'POD' BUILDINGS CONNECTED BY SEE-THRU TUNNELS! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146585.html

STRANGE WOMAN'S SOCCER - REDHEAD TAKES DOWN BLONDE - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/146586.html

STRANGE SUNSET GLIDER SHOT - FROM THE WING TIP! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/146603.html

STRANGE MYSTERIOUS LIGHTS IN LATVIAN NIGHT SKY! - 1 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146418.html

STRANGE NEW COP CAR - NASTY LOOKING! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/146443.html

STRANGE CELEBRITIES AND WHO/WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146444.html

STRANGE JAPANESE CUSTOM TRUCK - AMAZING! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/146473.html

STRANGE QUAINT LITTLE HOTEL - GREAT VIEW! OF THE NUKE COOLING TOWER! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146483.html

WORLD'S LARGEST HELICOPTER - MIL V-12 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146007.html

STRANGE ANIMAL BATTLES - LITTLE SNAKE AND FROG BATTLE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/146157.html

RUSSIAN MILITARY JETS - INVERTED - FROM BEHIND! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/146477.html

STRANGE DACHSHUND - LONG TONGUE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/146493.html

STRANGE DOG RACE - DACHSHUND DERBY! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146496.html

STRANGE OLD TOYS - ATOMIC ENERGY LAB! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146549.html

THE ICELANDIC GIANT - JOHANN K. PETURSSON - TALLEST MAN IN THE WORLD - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146563.html

AJOLOTE - STRANGE LEGLESS LIZARD - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146564.html

ORANGUTAN - CALLING FOR A VOTE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146571.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - Japanese - Chinese - Asian - Crazy Goofy Items

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/68_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Facts About Soap Opera's! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146384.html

Strange Facts and History of Body Piercing! - http://www.strangeersons.com/content/item/146385.html

The Longest Jail Sentence - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/112478.html

Woman Has Nearly 3,000 Toll Violations - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/111587.html

Ever Wonder What the Odds Are?????? - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/120180.html

You Know You're a Nurse When.......... - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/119633.html

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The Featured Humor Category This Week - Strange Lists - Crazy Numbers - Crazy Stuff

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/111_1.html

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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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[b3ta] "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit packing water wings"

This Week:
* VEITCH - Sings about pork, again
* ANIM - Ducks with tits!
* CHALLENGE - Completely fucking useless shit

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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're wishing we
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| were dead... together"

B3ta email 361 - 15 Jan 2009

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue361/

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: SPONSORED LINK
7 Egg Boiler

B3tards! Love boiled eggs but have no idea how
to cook them? You need our 7 egg electric
boiler. No more dirty saucepans and isn't 7
such a handy number? You can boil up half a
dozen and stick a lemon in the middle. Woo hoo!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000X2A40G/b3ta-21

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Pork, Breasts, Leopards and Benny Hill

>> The Benny Hillifier can now speed up videos! <<
"I've finally implemented the feature which
everybody was asking for," shouts Bobsworth,
"Speeding up videos!" Awesomesauce!
http://snurl.com/bennyhillspeedy

>> We are pork products <<
"You know Florian has left Kraftwerk," sobs
Joel, mascara running down his cheeks. "So me
and Ed put together this sausagey tribute using
saveloys." FYI: We recently asked Joel if he
liked cooking with chorizo and he replied, "I
dunno - I've never owned one for long enough to
try."
http://rathergood.com/kraftwurst

>> Duck with breasts <<
Crime-fighting has a new face - and chest -
according to Bovine. Worth a punt for the intro
sequence alone.
http://www.richardtingley.co.uk/tt_07.php

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Workplace boredom

Each week we collect your stories, anecdotes
and lies into one handy place on the interweb.

Last week we asked about the procrastination
activities you indulge in within the workplace.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/workboredom/

This compo is really about stories but as a
fair few photos were entered we reckoned we'd
feature those. Run with the crowd and all that.

* SHARK, HELICOPTER AND BRIDGE ART - produced
as a separator between desks. "This photo
doesn't show the full architectural splendour
of the bridge, but take my word for it that
Brunel would have shat his pants in awe." (yes
yes yes man)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/workboredom/post342380

* CARDBOARD ROBOT - "where we get through lots
of envelopes. What do we do with the boxes that
they came in? Robot suits!" (himjim )
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/workboredom/post342530

* DESK WEAPONS - "I tend to dick about with
stationary This was my greatest triumph and
highlight of my working life to date. It is a
fully working siege catapult I made from
pencils, sellotape, an elastic band and a
spoon. It was amazing." (Barry Shitpeas)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/workboredom/post343952

>> Question: Fitting in <<
We'd like you to to talk about peer pressure -
the stuff you do just to fit in - even though
you know it's complete donkey shit.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/fittingin/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Flowchart of heavy metal band names <<
It takes a special kind of nerd to break a
subject down and rebuild it as a graph. But
we're glad they exist. Bands range from
absolute classics to "wtf, that's a real name?"
http://www.comicvsaudience.net/images/flow_heavymetal.jpg

>> Awesome noise! <<
A new bit of Microsoft software can add backing
music to the track of your choice. Someone has
run it on a David Lee Roth acapella. This is
the dreadful result.
http://music.metafilter.com/2943/Runnin-With-The-Songsmith

>> Disney rejection letter <<
Amusingly sexist vintage rejection letter from
Disney Studios. Intriguing juxtaposition of the
signature and the character to the right of it.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/polaroid/632255233/sizes/o/

>> Almost unrecognisable list <<
Compilation of film stars who've allowed the
make-up artists free rein in making them look
different. Impressive stuff in many cases,
although sometimes feels like it was a bit of a
waste their being famous in the first place.
http://www.listal.com/list/almost-unrecognizable

>> Bizarre photo collection <<
No idea on the rationale behind this extensive
gallery of unusual imagery, but it's
interesting stuff. Refreshingly free of the
internet's usual suspects. Oh, but some of it
is NSFW.
http://riotclitshave.com/

>> Bacon rolling papers <<
Don't worry vegans, these are actually
soy-based so there are zero health concerns
with using them.
http://bacontoday.com/tag/juicy-jays/

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like TV you can pause, oh you can now actually


>> Oldest rocker in town <<
82 year-old heavy metal fan discusses his love
of Judas Priest and Iron Maiden. Local news at
its absolute finest.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7826717.stm

>> Star Wars retold by someone who hasn't seen it <<
Pleasingly-animated retelling of the entire
Star Wars trilogy (ie. the good ones) by
somebody who hasn't seen the films. She does
pretty well, for our money.
http://vimeo.com/2809991

>> Kitten climbing stairs <<
By climbing we mean clinging on to the
undersides of the steps and going along upside
down like that baby from Trainspotting.
Off-putting but cute.
http://snurl.com/acrobatcat

>> Heath Robinson corkscrew <<
Fans of complexity and comical levels of
over-engineering will find this wine bottle
opener a treat. Coming soon to your local
poncey kitchen shop.
http://www.oneofonehundred.co.uk/media/corkscrew.php

>> Why your company needs stock photography <<
Power Point presentation explains that your
company could do with some pictures of fake
business people. Could this actually be some
sort of guerilla marketing for iStockPhoto?
Stranger things have happened.
http://snurl.com/istockphotomadness

>> Weezer - Pork and Beans 2 <<
As the dog returns to his vomit so do the
interwebs return to Weezer's Pork and Beans
video. The band's clearly been busy in
post-production adding frankly mind-knackering
heaps of extra meme in-jokes. Ah, those old
memes - where would we be without them?
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Weezer_Pork_and_Beans:2

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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Two cocks, one vagina

* CRUDE PEPPERONI COCKS - Spotted in a Pizzahut
advert. (The Goatworrier)
http://www.cr3static.com/data/jpg/cockpizza.jpg

* RETARDED PENIS LOLS - clearasmud writes,
"this district of Hong Kong is worth a mention.
Who'd have though of naming a place "Mong Kok"?"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mong_Kok

* FANNY S HOLE: DECEASED - "Photo by moi!" Meak
gesticulates in French.
http://moblog.net/view/871380/fanny-hole

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: WHAT DAY IS IT? CHALLENGE
Fucked if we know

Last week we asked you to make one of those one
page sites that are popular at the moment, you
know, where the domain poses a question and the
page answers it.

Lots of entries. Bloody loads considering.

http://thedayis.com/ (a username)
http://www.wotdayisit.com (suzibandit)
http://whatdayitis.com (matthewkimberley)
http://WhatDayOfTheWeekIsIt.co.uk (The hairy aerosol)
http://whatdateisit.co.uk/ (The hairy aerosol again)
http://day.smakkie.com/ (arsmakman)
http://thedayis.com (giles)

Vote now to which one stays in the Celebrity
Big Brother URL house.

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: NERD JOKES
Because geeks need hahas

We asked you to send in your favourite spoddy
jokes, and you did. Oh you did.

Here's some of your bestest:

* TOPLOLOGY LOLS - "Why did the mobius strip
cross the road? To get to the other s..., er...
oh." (hijackattack)

* DATA TYPE ROFLS - "Two strings walk into a
bar, and the bartender says 'We don't serve
strings here. You aren't a string, are you?'
The first string says 'No, I'm a frayed
knot.a$$%3333343__RG__RG__RU__FG' The second
string says 'You'll have to excuse my friend,
he's not null-terminated'." (justin.stach)

* NUMBER SYSTEM LMAOS - "There's only 10 types
of people in the world. Those that understand
binary and those that don't." (turbojelly here
repeating a classic that still makes our wife
want a divorce at least 5 years after first
hearing it.)

Please send us more. We like them.

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
The Funny Side of War

With the Israelis and Palestinians intent on
blowing each other up, this depressing saga was
getting us down, so we asked you to bring on
the lols.

Our favourites included:

* CHEERFUL JEWISH PERSON - What can we say that
doesn't ruin the joke? (nocturne72)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9075033

* MORPH - always happy to have our members
wilfully misinterpret our challenges. (arkham
angel)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9076097

* WAR! HUH! What is it good for? Absolutely
nothing. I'll say it again. (The Great
Architect)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9076020

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/war/

>> Completely fucking useless shit <<
The chocolate fireguard, the left-handed
screwdriver, the inflatable dart-board, and the
parachute that opens on impact. Invent your own
useless contraption and show us its true
shittiness with the magic of Photoshop.
Suggested by tommyhaych, whom we secretly bum
when nobody is looking.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/useless/

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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* KITTENWAR CALENDARS - Fraser, King Kitten
himself, popped round B3ta HQ over Xmas to
deliver his annual stash of KittenWar
calendars. Apparently the publisher managed to
send him over 100 for personal use and he's
been dumping them on friends, friends of
friends and even us. Marvel at our photo in the
official B3ta kitchen, and possibly buy one via
Amazon whilst we're still in January and
there's most of the year left:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/robmanuel/3189263268/

* MISSING-THE-POINT EMAIL OF THE WEEK -
a-johnson informs, "You know your Bumper B3ta
Book of Jokes is goin out as a free PDF? Not
entirely sure if this a concern, but thought
I'd let you guys know just in case." Cheers
fella!
http://www.sickjokebook.com

* OH SHUSH ABOUT STRING ALREADY - David
Medeiros comments, "Love your newsletter. By
the way, the correct answer to the question
"How long is a piece of string" is 'No, Hao
Long is a bay in Viet Nam' - Google 'Hao Long'
and check it out for yourself if you don't
believe me." Nope, we refuse. Our search engine
of choice is AskJeeves.

* BEST OF B3TA 2008 - your votes have been
counted and we present to you 2008's top b3ta
messageboard posts and links as decided by the
clicky public. Don't say we didn't warn you.
http://b3ta.com/features/bestof2008/

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: FRIDAY GAME
Bastard Tetris

"It's just Tetris yes," says
VampireMonkeyOnSpeed, "But unlike normal
Tetris, it looks at the board, decides what
piece would be most useful and then makes sure
you don't get it. Bastard. I managed to get
one line."
http://l0ser.net/src/as3/bastet/

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

"I was quite excited," confesses Amos E Wolfe,
"When I read in the newsletter that someone
wanted a website to tell them what day it was,
and immediately logged in to my fasthosts
account to register the relevant domain name.
.com and .net are gone already. Someone called
Andi Taylor has registered whatdayisit.co.uk
TODAY so keep a look out for that. So I would
have created that site but someone beat me to
it. Any chance of some more 'requests for
monopurpose websites?' please?" Ok for you, off
the top of our heads:

* WHERE ARE MY KEYS . COM - probably where you
left them OR retrace your steps.

* HAVE I LEFT THE GAS ON . COM - I dunno, you'd
better check.

* DOES THIS DRESS MAKE ME LOOK FAT . COM - No,
you look lovely.

And, and this one is actually quite a nice
idea, too good for you, we should keep it back
and become bigger than Goggle, or at least,
KittenWar:

* IS IT GOING TO RAIN TODAY . COM - Probably a
bit more complex, but with some reverse IP
lookup for location and parsing the BBC weather
site, a fair stab is possible.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

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-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:

This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by chemicals1234,
Seventh, pissflaps, chickenlady, Michelle
Obama's Stalker, littlefish, Mowgarr, Pew Pew
Pew! Lasers! Grindstaff, The Oscillating
Gibbon, Elusive and My Future Self. Top Tippery
by Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. Additional
linkage and image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Love to b4ta.
Sublol: The Great Architect.

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TOP TIP:

Pretend you've won Formula 1 by placing your
thumb over the end of the penis at the point of
ejaculation.

-------------------------------------------------

SICKIPEDIA:
Remember the radio advert that said: "If you
want to know how much an unlicensed cab costs
to Covent Garden, ask a rape victim." Don't.
They go fucking mental.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 764 - Jan 14, 2009 - Strange Things to Ponder

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange "Business" Quotes:

"When you need to knock on wood is when you realize the world's composed of aluminum and vinyl." [Flugg]

"If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then add one more as an afterthought, he'll forget two of the first five." [Wives]

"Keep up with the Grabowskis . . . you'll never make enough to keep up with the Joneses." [Advice on Status]

"Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work."

"The dirt is also on the other side." [Frisk Principle of Window Cleaning]

"When all else fails, why not read the instructions?"

"We should refrain from making very harsh judgments of people just because they happen to be dirty, no-good s.o.b.s."

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Things to Ponder

Why Ask Why

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? How do they check?
What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why could Superman stop bullets with his chest, but he always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If it was a three hour cruise, why did Mrs. Howell have so many clothes with her?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients BUT dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only be troubled and insecure?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Is it possible to be totally partial?

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE AND GOOFY HOUSES! - MY CASTLE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146272.html

SURFING DANGERS - WIPE OUT AT ALTITUDE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/146405.html

PAMPLONA SPAIN - RUNNING (AND HIDING) OF THE BULLS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146283.html

SECOND PLACE FINISHER IN BICYCLE RACE SAYS HE'S #1! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/146408.html

MILITARY JET HITS THE AFTERBURNERS - DOWNTOWN! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/146409.html

REALLY BAD DRIVERS AND THE ACCIDENTS THEY CAUSE! - A REAL SURPRISE! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/146316.html

TODAY'S HOUSING CRISIS - ONLY THE MODEL HOMES ARE "SOLD!" - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146410.html

BUFFALO WELCOMES MAN TO YELLOWSTONE NATL PARK - WITH HIS FACE IN THE CAR! - 1 - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146414.html

STRANGE 'FLOCK' OF TINY SNOWMEN - CHINA - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146342.html

-40 BELOW ZERO - LIFE IN THE MIDWEST - WHERE'S THAT GLOBAL WARMING? - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146411.html

STRANGE 'DIVING' HORSES - 3 - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/146347.html

STRANGE SHORT PONY - STRANGE SHORT COWBOY! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/146365.html

WWII - THE WAR EFFORT - OLD PIX - WOMEN MAKING ARTILLERY SHELLS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146371.html

STRANGE 'SNOW' TRAINS - HUGE SNO-BLOWER - HUGE DRIFT! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/146244.html

STRANGE ARTILLERY PIECES - BIG GUNS! - SUPER GUN! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/145985.html

STRANGE 'TALL' BICYCLES - CLIMB THE LADDER TO THE TOP! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/146047.html

AMAZING BOXING PUNCH TO THE FACE! - OUCH! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/146387.html

FAIL! - FAT BOY AT DONUT SHOPPE DRIVE THRU WINDOW! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146406.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - STRETCH LIMOUSINES - WILD AND LONG

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100366_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Happenings in Tennessee during 2008 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/145993.html

Strange Facts About Your Bad Breath! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146381.html

Watermelons - Fruit or Vegetable? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146383.html

The Strange Life of Lenny Kravitz - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146382.html

9 'Dangerous' Words Women Use - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/142271.html

20 Strange Alternative Uses for Vodka! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/143134.html

==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - Strange Lists - Crazy Numbers - Crazy Stuff

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

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Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

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------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 763 - Jan 11, 2009 - Strange "Cake" Personality TEST

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes - Things You Shouldn't Do.....

"Don't carry a grudge. While you're carrying the grudge, the other guy's out dancing." - Buddy Hackett

"Don't get mad. Don't get even. Just get elected, then get even." - James Carville

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin

"Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity." - Nick Diamos

"Never believe in mirrors or newspapers." - Tom Stoppard

"Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon." - Jilly Cooper

"Never purchase beauty products in a hardware store." - Miss Piggy

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - -'CAKE' Personality Test

Take this cake personality test; then, send this e-mail on to others.

When you send this e-mail on, put your cake in the subject box above. No cheating. Pick your cake then, look to see.

If you were buying a cake and you had your choice of the following, which would you choose:

Angel food

Brownies

Lemon Meringue

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing

Strawberry Short Cake

Chocolate on Chocolate

Ice Cream

Carrot Cake

NO...you can't change your mind once you scroll down So think carefully, what your choice will be!!!

OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what research says about you:

Angel food ... Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being child-like and immature at times.

Brownies... You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon Meringue... Smooth, sexy, &articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing ... Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in life, very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad, however, you are a friend for life.

Strawberry Short Cake... Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You can be overly-emotional and annoying at times.

Chocolate on Chocolate ... Sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Ice Cream... You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

Carrot Cake... You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. ! People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE HAIR AND NAILS - GOOFY PEOPLE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146282.html

STRANGE HOTEL HELP WANTED SIGN - THEY ARE DESPERATE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146301.html

STRANGE 'TRUTH IN BUSINESS' SIGN - GENUINE FAKE WATCHES! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/146302.html

REALLY BAD DRIVERS AND THE ACCIDENTS THEY CAUSE! - THRU THE ROOF! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/146311.html

STRANGE KANGAROO WITH RACCOON IN IT'S POUCH! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/146318.html

STRANGE 'HAIRY' FEATHER COVERED BIRD - 5 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146120.html

'LUCKY' HUNTING HAT FOR THE WIFE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/146205.html

STRANGE GUINEA PIG CHORUS LINE DANCE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/145981.html

THE EVOLUTION OF THE "CELL" PHONE - OLD POLICE "RADIO WAVES" - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/146234.html

STRANGE SUNBATHING LADY ON THE BEACH - WALL DEDICATED TO SOLDIERS DEFENDING HOMELAND! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/146236.html

STRANGE HUGE BUDDHA STATUE - MASSIVE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146238.html

STRANGE 'SNOW' TRAINS - HUGE BLADE! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/146241.html

COOL F-1 RACE BILLBOARD - RIGHT UP THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/146237.html

STRANGE PINK PIGGYBANK STREETCAR! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146246.html

STRANGE SEA CREATURES - ????? - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/146251.html

TU-160 - RUSSIAN TUPOLEV "BLACKJACK" HEAVY BOMBER - LANDING - DRAG CHUTES DEPLOYED - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/146263.html

C-17 GLOBEMASTER - ANGEL FLARES - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146258.html

STRANGE AND GOOFY HOUSES! - TEA CUP? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/146270.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - PUZZLES - STRANGE ITEMS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/100302_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

How to Avoid Looking Like an American Tourist - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/146006.html

Strange Trivia Quiz - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/146168.html

25 Church Bulletin Bloopers - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/21122.html

Catholic Dictionary - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/21427.html

Your Religion RE: Changing Light Bulbs - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/20708.html

You Might be in a Redneck Church if.. - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/21926.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - PUZZLES - STRANGE ITEMS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/115_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

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[b3ta] "He turned colder, that's where it eh-eeeeends......"

This Week:
* VIDEO - "I'm not being racist, right, but..."
* COOKING - Pot Noodle Pasty
* PRANK - a deliberately inaccurate calendar

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "we r txting yr
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| mum... 2geva"

B3ta email 360 - 9 Jan 2009, Happy New Year!

Oooh look, a web linky, how clever:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue360/

Good karma: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Shitty karma: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: CHAVVY SPONSORED LINK
Chav Gangs, browser-based RPG Game

"Are you sick of hearing about the Chav culture
that is now dominating our society? Here is
your chance to get even. Fight, mug and scam
your way to the top and become the number 1
Chav in the UK"
http://www.chavgangs.com

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Your ad-based tattoo on our pitbull. Talk now.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #1
Racists, Pastry, Calendar Sabotage and Bad Films

>> "I'm not being racist, right, but..." <<
You know whatever comes next is going to be
racist. Andrew O'Neill tries to reclaim the
phrase by using it in non-racist contexts. This
is brilliant - even the simplest statement
implies murky new offensive stereotypes.
http://blip.tv/play/AeHIFo3cUA

>> The Pot Noodle pasty <<
"Behold the future of snack food," brags Kaine
who, with his accomplices, has combined the
twin powers of the Greggs pasty and the Pot
Noodle. Unlikely as it sounds, their excellent
work on the pastry has actually made these look
delicious.
http://kained.com/blog/default.aspx

>> Deliberately Inaccurate 2009 Calendar <<
Mike Fishcake has created something of a
slow-burning social bomb. It looks innocuous
enough but this calendar has been meticulously
altered to give the wrong dates for all sorts of
holidays. We are already chortling with glee at
the thought of someone in the office missing
Mothers' Day.
http://snurl.com/crap_2009_calendar

>> I Spot Bad Films <<
"A spotter's guide to the very worst films
committed to celluloid, written by me and Dave
for the E4 site," moans a pale and shaken Rob
Manuel. "We really did sit down and watch all
these bloody films too. Our minds melted."
http://www.e4.com/wtf/bad-films/

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Wibbling Rivalry

Over Christmas we asked you to make the dullest
story ever in 500 or more words. Only joking,
we love you lot really.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/siblings/

* LOL! JOKE! They say one in every 6 people is
Chinese. I don't know who it is in my household.
It might be my Sister, Sarah, or my brother Xao
Ming Chen, but my money's on my elder brother
Dennis. (Lunar Jim)

* LOL! ANOTHER JOKE! "My younger sister is here
for the weekend, with her 9 year old son. He's
become interested in chess, and was asking me
about how the various pieces move. I'm not that
much of an expert on the subject, and some of
his school friends were insisting that a pawn
could take a piece directly in front of it in
some cases. I'm not sure about that, but I know
there are some strange cases where pieces can
move in a different way. So, cue sister walking
in whilst I say: 'Look, I'm not sure, just
search for pawn in google, and that should tell
you'." (Mucky)

* LOl! FREAK! "I was a confused child. I have
it on good authority (well, my mates and oddly
enough one of our cousins), that my sister was
(and still is) hot. When I was a kid I went
through a phase of doing odd things when I had
the house to myself. Having already fucked my
way through everything in the fridge to try and
find something that felt like 'a real woman'*
And having already had the obligatory five
wanks while the rest of my family were out, I
found myself in my sister's bedroom...

"Moments later I found myself standing in front
of her full length mirror wearing a spangly
boob tube and a pair of French knickers, with
my cock and balls hanging out over the top.

"Is it wrong to admit that at that moment I
felt the sexiest I have ever felt in my life?

"I couldn't look my sister in the eye for a
month after that afternoon.

"And to this day it is my secret shame that I
have, in point of fact, been inside my sister's
knickers...

"* Vanilla slice was the best, closely followed
by a cleverly and anatomically correct hollowed
out melon vagina with a bit of KY jelly added
for extra realism." (SpankyHanky)

>> Bored at work? <<
This week we want your skiving confessions.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/workboredom/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Britney's hacked vagina: interview <<
We were very amused by the recent pwnage of
Britney Spear's twitter account, "HI Yall! Brit
Brit here, just wanted to update you all on the
size of my vagina. Its about 4 feet wide with
razor sharp teeth." The full story, complete
with interview with the scallywags responsible,
on the Wired blog. BTW: Interesting to note
that the Daily Mail covered this and included
the vagina dentata quote, whilst Wired's
reportage spared our blushes.
http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2009/01/professed-twitt.html

>> Visual history of Lego figures <<
We weren't allowed Lego figures as a kid, our
parents thought them gimmicky and not as
educational as "proper Lego." Hence, to this
very day, we look down on geeks that fetishize
this stuff - Lego Technic for the win! BTW:
Halfway down the page - the ghosts and the
knight? All very KKK init.
http://gizmodo.com/5070884/exclusive-the-lego-minifig-timeline

>> When dating sites go wrong <<
Girl posts gory details of bad date on dating
talkboard - hilarity ensues, especially when
the chap joins in.
http://www.okcupid.com/forum?low=1&tid=7223997838631196585

>> Cock Art challenge <<
"I challenge you to make this penis not look
like a penis" is the compo and quite honestly
we wish we were running it on our site.
http://www.tribalwar.com/forums/showthread.php?t=570589

>> Tilt shift photo maker <<
Recently we haven't been able to move for
seeing tilt-shift photos. You know, the ones
where real world stuff is made to look like
models. The trick? A special camera, or more
often a bit of blurring and ramping up the
saturation. And now it's even easier with this
handy, miniature tool.
http://tiltshiftmaker.com/

>> Top 50 movie special effects shots <<
"I love stuff like this," writes Krang, "it's a
good list and the writers seem to actually know
what they're talking about." Unlike us, who've
been bluffing it with Wikipedia and a few
recycled jokes from Alas Smith & Jones for
years.
http://snurl.com/specialneeds

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Not as good as looking at the top 10 on youtube

>> Holy Spirit drum'n'bass <<
Not the first vid we've seen to match up
footage of religious ecstasy with old school
choons. But this one is excellent. One portly
preacher is particularly good value.
http://b3ta.com/links/Holy_Spirit_possession_drumnbass_par_excellence

>> Insect hair <<
Increasingly surreal and explicable Ann
Robinson hate from a former Weakest Link
contestant. Well, perhaps it's not entirely
inexplicable.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Insect_hair

>> Live action stop-motion <<
Animated fight and chase scene using 26,000
photos of real actors. Extremely impressive;
particular props to the people who had to stand
perfectly still for about six months.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ten_Thousand_Pictures_of_You

>> Most annoying runner ever <<
This athlete can't resist screaming at the top
of his lungs in every race. Perhaps it's to
spur himself on or to psych out other
competitors. We just don't know. But he weirdly
reminds us of Crazy Frog.
http://www.maniacworld.com/most-annoying-runner-ever.html

>> Cat vs electric toothbrush <<
The buzzing of the tiny motor makes this kitten
just want to smash things up!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Cat_vs_electric_toothbrush

>> Enter Kazoo Man <<
Metallica's rousing crowd-pleaser rendered, as
it should be, on four kazoos and a little
beatboxing.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Enter_Kazoo_Man

>> Harry Potter 'pitch to the publishers' <<
Sarcastic comedy duo the Dawson Brothers wish
they'd been in the pitch meeting for Harry
Potter. The MAGIC pitch meeting.
http://b3ta.com/links/Harry_Potter_pitch_to_the_publishers_in_cartoon_form

>> Hand-drawn internet <<
Clever stop-motion turns a normal notebook into
an animated laptop, complete with slightly
off-kilter internets.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=tP-reW1eLYE

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Now featuring 'Bad Type Weekly' and other crap

* FONTY TWATS - Our hot rival - the Schwartz
Spice Newsletter chooses an unfortunate
typeface for its headlines don't you think? And
if you can't spot it, then google the word
'cunny.'
http://www.schwartz.co.uk/content.cfm?ID=10542

* SPELLING TWITS - We always knew that Del
Monte was a Zionist conspiracy.
http://lone9gunman.livejournal.com/20052.html

* PROOFING TWOTS - Fox does a New Year's
ticker-tape made from viewers' texts. As to
whether they're vetted beforehand...
http://img126.imageshack.us/img126/2728/img00291vr4.jpg

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #2
Bloody loads of stuff over Xmas so...

>> Play.com fuck up (again) <<
A couple of weeks ago, Play.com managed to
screw up the coding on their website so that
users of the Opera browser would instead see
pictures from b3tard Rusty Shackleford's site.
They've somehow managed it again. So once more,
Rusty has taken the opportunity to sabotage
their site. Rather lovely.
http://b3ta.com/links/Play_com_have_fucked_up_again_needs_Opera

>> Discount People <<
Slightly manic television spot by superdonal,
exhorting sofas to head on down and pick up a
discount human in the sales.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Discount_People

>> Perspective scrolling - How To <<
If you fancy making one of those funky-looking
infinite scrolling animated backgrounds, you
could do a lot worse than check out this little
tutorial by maiden.
http://www.maidenart.co.uk/perspective-scrolling.html

>> Plant Feed <<
Sheep does the chores, with a little help from
his houseplants.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Plant_Feed

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the last three challenges

Since the last newsletter we've featured
three Challenges.

Your favourites included:

* UK TV, HOLLYWOOD STYLE - The Wombles.
Taking out the trash (Tribs)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9035451

* A STAR WARS CHRISTMAS - Admiral Motti
receives a lovely new jumper on the big
day (The Great Architect)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9055740

* ADVERTISING THE UNUSUAL - Tony the
Tiger breaks into the DIY market (geet)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9063193

All these images, and the highest as
voted by you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/uktv/
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/starswarsxmas/
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/advertising/

>> New challenge: The Funny Side Of War <<
With the Israelis and Palestinians intent
on blowing each other up, this depressing
saga must be getting you down. So fire up
Photoshop and show us the funny side of
conflict.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/war/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* B3TARD KILLS LIL' WAYNE - Gilgamesh boasts,
"Seems that someone used my now-defunct BBC
News Generator to fake a story about rapper
Lil' Wayne being killed. Consequently I got
hits from all over the world and the site got
suspended for going over the bandwidth limits.
At least I got the phrase 'Gilgamesh BBC tool
is dogs bollocks' onto the Guardian's website
AND Lil' Wayne made an announcement on his
Myspace that he was still alive."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Im_in_the_news_today_oh_boy

* HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRING? - Ruble
answers our query with, "Twice as long as half
of it. I've often used this in conversation,
'how long will you be fixing that car?' Cue
smart arse reply, 'how long is a piece of
string', cue my angered response, "From the end
to the middle times two, now, HOW FUCKING LONG
WILL THE CAR BE!?!"

* WEIRD EMAIL THAT IS PROBABLY A HOAX - Nev
Jenner completely mentals at us, "My wife was a
bitch all Christmas Day. Lying in bed that
night it all came pouring out; she had been
expecting to receive as a present a 'Paul Ross
canvas print', she had 'seen the webpage open
on my computer screen and thought I must be
secretly buying it her' and, as she had not
received it, had been a bitch all day. I have
then compounded my mistake by telling her the
reason I didn't get it her was because 'demand
was high and they are temporarily out of
stock', rather than telling her the real reason
which is 'I was looking at that page because I
and thousands of other b3tards are laughing at
cunts like you who want such items'. She has
cheered up now in the knowledge that she will
soon be receiving one, which I am going to have
to pay for and hang and fucking endure. Now I
know I left the window open stupidly thus
letting her see it, but I wonder if you could
send me £56.58p to cover me having to buy the
print and have it posted to me. This might go
some way towards easing the pain I have felt,
and will continue to feel."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/
B001N6W8U0/b3ta-21

* HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRINGx2?
CompletelyUnacceptable bleeps, "In response to
your despair at not knowing how long a piece of
string was, I thought I'd share a geeky
developer joke I made up:

Q: How long is a piece of string?
A: string.length

You have to be fairly sad to get it." BTW: If
readers have got any more geeky, codey lols
then the usual address please.

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* PROVERBS MADE REAL - "I'd like to see is
somebody with a high speed camera set it up
pointing at a fan and film what really happens
when the shit hits it." (Wurzel)

* WHAT DAY IS IT DOT COM - "I think there
should be a page on the internet that just
tells you what day it is", states
alexrclements, "I googled and and couldn't find
one. Please could you ask in the next
newsletter if any clever people could make one?
It would make the internet a BETTER PLACE."

* IMDB VS PIRATEBAY MASH-UP - so that we know
what films are what, when we read the top100
download list looking for ideas on what to
watch tonight.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

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THANKS:

This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by bilbobarneybobs,
masakatsu, Spooge McBalls, elusive, Oysdgp,
custard, lolwhites, raerth, ArfurDaley, Andy
Stevenson, Grindstaff, bathtub and Pew Pew Pew!
Lasers! Top Tippery by haroweld Additional
linkage and image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Pine needles to
unit designate: b4ta. Subjlol via Captain Wow.

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
In the winter keep your bog roll on top of a
radiator. Those cold mornings will be spent in
a much happier place. It's bliss for your arse.

-------------------------------------------------

SICKIPEDIA:

I left my car in a car park the other day, when
I came back to it the bumper and rear lights
were all smashed up. Then I found this note
under the wiper. It said: "I just accidentally
reversed into your car. Quite a few people saw
me do it. They think I'm leaving my name and
details. Well, I'm not.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 762 - Jan 07, 2009 - Top 25 Country Songs - STRANGE!

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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==================================

Strange Quotes:

"It's all about money, if Gibson's movies make money. Hollywood doesn't care what Mel Gibson said. Hollywood doesn't worship the 10 Commandments. Hollywood worships the Golden Calf." - Ben Stein

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)

"Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices." - Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)

"Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge's chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view." - Lillian Hellman (1905 - 1984)

"Never try to reason the prejudice out of a man. It was not reasoned into him, and cannot be reasoned out." - Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)

"Prejudice is opinion without judgement." - Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally." - W. C. Fields (1880 - 1946)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Top 25 Country Songs

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Were Pure.
23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
21. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We're Even.
20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.
19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
18. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
17. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
14. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You.
13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.
12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).
10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You.
9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.
8. Please Bypass This Heart.
7. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.
6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.
5. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
4. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
3. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles.
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer.

And the Number 1 Country and Western song of all Time is...

1. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up

==================================

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==================================

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==================================

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The REAL Meaning of These Office Terms - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/24031.html

==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - College - University - High School - Teacher/Prof

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/110_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

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All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

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Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Vol 761 - Jan 04, 2009 - 10 Reasons NOT to Jog

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

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==================================

Strange QUOTES - Cowardice & Criticism

Pacifism is simply undisguised cowardice. - unknown

The coward threatens when he is safe.- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

They have vilified me, they have crucified me. Yes, they have even criticized me.- Richard J. Daley

People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, 'Why wasn't it done the other way?' - Oliver Wendell Holmes

To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. - Elbert Hubbard

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - 10 Reasons NOT to Jog

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is.

2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. Except when I run with a cosmopolitan!

==================================

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THE STRANGE NEIGHBORS FROM HELL! - JUNK - EVEN ON THE ROOF! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/146092.html

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==================================

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==================================

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==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - Cities - States & Regions of the USA

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==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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