This Week:
* INTERNET BOLLOCKS - Lots of it
* WEB SHENANIGANS - Yep, that too
* TCP/IP LOLS - We've got them
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_______ ____ __ ___
___/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the bottles
__/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | of Uber piss we find in the
_/____/____/\__/_/ |_| street as cultural relics"
B3ta email 667 - 19th Jun 2015
Read this issue whilst huffing 'hippy crack':
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue667
Friend b3ta on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
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: SPONSORED LINK
Racing Post Horse Name Generator
Are you a Frankel or a Euphoric Contraflow?
Learn your racehorse name and rating.
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other than than sexy but sinister soup
>> I'm A Robot <<
PI Bennett has taken a short video of a child
pretending to be a robot and turned it into a
tune. Well done.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Im_A_Robot
>> Subterranean Facebook Blues <<
Following "Soc.Media Rhapsody" and "Twittering
Heights", here is another social profile lyrical
punfest. Thanks Merkinhead, you're spoiling us.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Subterranean_Facebook_Blues
>> True confession: "I stole a Clanger" <<
Mushybees writes, "Just a story about the time
I tried to steal one of The Clangers, in front
of hundreds of people and Oliver Postgate. I'm
an idiot."
http://bit.ly/true-life-confession
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: SOCIAL MEDIA HASHTAG CONTENT
Sorry, we've a Facebook page :(
* Sing, "Bag for life, bag for reality" - once
you see this image it'll change how you
shop forever!
http://bit.ly/try-and-get-this-out-of-your-head
* 1970s Alan Sugar is basically Matt Berry
http://bit.ly/here-is-a-tv-movie-waiting-to-happen
* Anyone fancy a Beatles and Jimmy Savile
caption compo?
http://bit.ly/jimmy-friends-with-beatles
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: LONDON BISH, LONDON BASH, LONDON BOSH
Unofficial meet on Sat
* From 3pm - 6pm - The Royal Oak on Tabard
Street (the site of the last London Bash)
* 6pm onwards - The Miller, Snowfields, London
Bridge/Borough area.
http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/25474
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: APOLOGIES FOR MAKING YOU READ THIS JOKE
It won't happen again
What's the difference between Van Morrison and a
Morrisons van?
One wrote Astral Weeks and the other's an Astra
with leeks.
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* There's two kinds of people in this world -
enjoyable, well observed illustrations.
http://2kindsofpeople.tumblr.com/
* Liking this Amazon review for a bra top -
scroll down and find the cat.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00RT1KB98/b3ta-20
* We got round to listening to the fan-made KLF
doc. Liked it so much we listened twice. Turn
up loud.
http://bit.ly/turn-up-the-strobe
* Keeping it 90s dance - anyone who remembers
The Orb's Little Fluffy Clouds will find
the actual interview the vocal came from
pretty interesting.
http://bit.ly/what-were-the-skies-like-when-you-were-young
* The Jazz Computer is moderately entertaining if
you like experimental HTML5 art. And we do.
* "Oh hello. I won a 6-foot dildo throne. This
is my story." Amuses us mainly as winning
this is clearly a problem.
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like TV but without the dust on the screen
* 9 million people have listened to this song
and according to the YouTube comments, most
of them regret it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0
* So this bloke goes and does an hour long
lecture to the people at Google, explains
that women fancy vampires and men like
transgendered porn. Blimey!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-A8GvUehq4
* "It works like a normal ukulele but it also
shoots fire" - Mad Max video fan fiction
done right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=6&v=tzfyoSgFGNc
* Did you ever use a CGA PC? They were around
in early 80s. We never saw ours do anything
like this. Extraordinary.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHXx3orN35Y
* This early version of A-ha's Take On Me is
fascinating. Riff there, verse almost there
but horrible chorus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rc6MumuychA
* Construction workers play whack-a-mole.
Amusing.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Construction_Workers
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'LLamas' challenge
Last week we took a ride on the one headed
push-me-pull-you that is the Llama. We also
stroked an alpaca or two and drew pictures.
* Recall: Get your Llama to Mars.
(FreshWaterMole)
http://b3ta.com/board/11156105
* Spiritual Surrealism: Furry, art-faith lols.
(BrianO'Blivion)
http://b3ta.com/board/11155889
* Culture Club: so bad its good. (Ninj)
http://b3ta.com/board/11156152
All these images, and a load more can be found
here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/llamas/
>> New challenge: 25x25 <<
Manic knitter Smash Monkey has volunteered her
services. Design a piece of pixel perfection in
25x25 squares or less and she'll turn it into a
lovely, cosy blanket.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/25x25/
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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Not Getting the Job
Last week we asked if you'd ever cheated
yourself out of a job:
http://b3ta.com/questions/notgettingthejob/
* FASCIST – "Being a hippy greeny type in my
youth, I volunteered with the National Trust
restoring a river bank and clearing bramble from
an ancient woodland. When a job came up with my
local National Park Service, my CV and
application letter hit their desks before the
ink on the advert had dried! I was so keen
because it truly was the job of a lifetime.
Sadly I blew the interview due to nerves. The
final nail was hammered into my coffin of
failure when I got confused with my National
bodies and claimed to have done extensive
voluntary work with the National Front." (Rev.
Jayneflakes)
* SPANG – "My bro told me about a job interview
he had once. It went wrong just as he was
leaving; shaking his interviewers hand he
blurted out "Cheers to meet you!", then in a
confusion of embarrassment at having said
something so daft, turned on his heel and walked
face first into a pillar." (eViLegion)
* OOPS – "In 2001 I had the possibility of
moving to Australia with my employer's blessing
(and sponsorship - despite me being over the age
limit) I was being interviewed in Australia
house when the question 'Have you ever been in
prison' came up. 'Is it still compulsory?'
wasn't the answer they were looking for
apparently." (Captain Placid)
>> This Week – FUNNY STORIES <<
Back to basics this week no strict question just
tell us some funny things that have happened to
you:
http://b3ta.com/questions/funnystories/
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-------------------------------------------------
THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by
@maqusan, The Tramp Surveyor and tits.
Subjlols via HappyToast.
Tip via browser.
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Racing Post Horse Name Generator
Are you a Frankel or a Euphoric Contraflow?
Learn your racehorse name and rating.
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: SPONSOR B3TA
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TOP TIP:
Insults! You can hurt someone's feelings by
taking two negative traits and putting a "Mc"
between them, to create a pretend name. eg:
Lazy McThick,
Nasty McStupid,
Ugly McBoring.
Posted by: rob@b3ta.com
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