Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:
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July Fun !
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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?
Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"
http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html
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NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:
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Strange Quotes About Children and Parenting:
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. (David Frost)
Any astronomer can predict with absolute accuracy just where every star in the universe will be at 11.30 tonight. He can make no such prediction about his teenage daughter. (James T. Adams)
Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. (Jim Bishop)
Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off. (Ralph Bus)
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. (Bob Phillips)
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.' (Joe Namath)
There are three ways to get something done; do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it. (Mona Crane)
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Today's Featured Humor : -) - About the Signers of Declaration of Independence
A NOTE ON THE SIGNERS OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
"...we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor." (Each year information about those who signed the Declaration of Independence is circulated, not all of which is accurate. The following note is based on research in several established sources, which are noted below.)
Fifty-six individuals from each of the original 13 colonies participated in the Second Continental Congress and signed the Declaration of Independence. Pennsylvania sent nine delegates to the congress, followed by Virginia with seven and Massachusetts and New Jersey with five. Connecticut, Maryland, New York, and South Carolina each sent four delegates. Delaware, Georgia, New Hampshire, and North Carolina each sent three. Rhode Island, the smallest colony, sent only two delegates to Philadelphia.
Nine of the signers were immigrants, two were brothers, two were cousins, and one was an orphan. The average age of a signer was 45. The oldest delegate was Benjamin Franklin of Pennsylvania, who was 70 when he signed the Declaration. The youngest was Thomas Lynch, Jr., of South Carolina, who was 27.
Eighteen of the signers were merchants or businessmen, 14 were farmers, and four were doctors. Forty-two signers had served in their colonial legislatures. Twenty-two were lawyers--although William Hooper of North Carolina was "disbarred" when he spoke out against the Crown--and nine were judges. Stephen Hopkins had been Governor of Rhode Island.
Although two others had been clergy previously, John Witherspoon of New Jersey was the only active clergyman to attend--he wore his pontificals to the sessions. Almost all were Protestant Christians; Charles Carroll of Maryland was the only Roman Catholic signer.
Seven of the signers were educated at Harvard, four each at Yale and William & Mary, and three at Princeton. John Witherspoon was the president of Princeton and George Wythe was a professor at William & Mary, where his students included the author of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson.
Seventeen of the signers served in the military during the American Revolution. Thomas Nelson was a colonel in the Second Virginia Regiment and then commanded Virginia military forces at the Battle of Yorktown. William Whipple served with the New Hampshire militia and was one of the commanding officers in the decisive Saratoga campaign. Oliver Wolcott led the Connecticut regiments sent for the defense of New York and commanded a brigade of militia that took part in the defeat of General Burgoyne. Caesar Rodney was a Major General in the Delaware militia and John Hancock was the same in the Massachusetts militia.
Five of the signers were captured by the British during the war. Captains Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, and Arthur Middleton (South Carolina) were all captured at the Battle of Charleston in 1780; Colonel George Walton was wounded and captured at the Battle of Savannah. Richard Stockton of New Jersey never recovered from his incarceration at the hands of British Loyalists and died in 1781.
Colonel Thomas McKean of Delaware wrote John Adams that he was "hunted like a fox by the enemy--compelled to remove my family five times in a few months, and at last fixed them in a little log house on the banks of the Susquehanna . . . and they were soon obliged to move again on account of the incursions of the Indians." Abraham Clark of New Jersey had two of his sons captured by the British during the war. The son of John Witherspoon, a major in the New Jersey Brigade, was killed at the Battle of Germantown.
Eleven signers had their homes and property destroyed. Francis Lewis's New York home was destroyed and his wife was taken prisoner. John Hart's farm and mills were destroyed when the British invaded New Jersey and he died while fleeing capture. Carter Braxton and Thomas Nelson (both of Virginia) lent large sums of their personal fortunes to support the war effort, but were never repaid.
Fifteen of the signers participated in their states' constitutional conventions, and six--Roger Sherman, Robert Morris, Benjamin Franklin, George Clymer, James Wilson, and George Reed--signed the United States Constitution. Elbridge Gerry of Massachusetts attended the federal convention and, though he later supported the document, refused to sign the Constitution.
After the Revolution, 13 of the signers went on to become governors, and 18 served in their state legislatures. Sixteen became state and federal judges. Seven became members of the United States House of Representatives, and six became United States Senators. James Wilson and Samuel Chase became Justices of the United States Supreme Court.
Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Elbridge Gerry each became Vice President, and John Adams and Thomas Jefferson became President. The sons of signers John Adams and Benjamin Harrison also became Presidents.
Five signers played major roles in the establishment of colleges and universities: Benjamin Franklin and the University of Pennsylvania; Thomas Jefferson and the University of Virginia; Benjamin Rush and Dickinson College; Lewis Morris and New York University; and George Walton and the University of Georgia.
John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and Charles Carroll were the longest surviving signers. Adams and Jefferson both died on July 4, 1826, the 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. Charles Carroll of Maryland was the last signer to die--in 1832 at the age of 95.
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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
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STRANGE MEDICAL PROCEDURES - EYELASH TRANSPLANTS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195451.html
STRANGE WOMAN'S HAIR STYLES AND COLORS - CRAZY MULTI COLORED BLUE THRU PURPLE BRAID - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195603.html
STRANGE FOOD FUN - TAIWANESE BAKERY CREATE WATERMELON BREAD! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/195713.html
STRANGE PEOPLE - SHORT FATHER ENDS UP WITH TALL SON - MOM MIGHT KNOW THE NEIGHBOR! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195715.html
STRANGE JOBS AND TALENTS - WALKING HUMAN PEA POD - STAY IN SCHOOL KIDS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195716.html
STRANGE FARM & RANCH ITEMS - CRAZY MAN HOPS ONTO THE BACK OF A COW AND GETS BUCKED OFF! - FUNNY FARM ACTION GIFS - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/195717.html
STRANGE DRAG RACE CARS - WILD BLOWN JAGUAR LUXURY SEDAN DRAGSTER - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/195718.html
STRANGE FOOD & BEVERAGE FUN - WILD POP TART FLAVORED VODKA! - FOR BREAKFAST? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195719.html
STRANGE AMPHIBIOUS ANIMALS - MALABAR FLYING FROG - WINGS ON HIS FEET! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/195720.html
STRANGE METEORITES LIGHT UP THE NIGHT SKY AS IT CRASHES TO EARTH - AMAZING ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195721.html
STRANGE OLDE CONCEPT CARS - 1955 CHEVROLET BISCAYNE - LOOKS LIKE EARLY CORVETTE! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/195722.html
STRANGE BEARDS AND MUSTACHES - 2014 MUSTACHE RUNNER UP - WOW! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/195723.html
STRANGE HAUNTED PLACES IN THE USA - ATHENS OHIO LUNATIC ASYLUM KNOWN AS THE RIDGES - TRANS-ORBITAL LOBOTOMIES, HAUNTED TB WARDS & SATANIC CEMETERIES! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/195724.html
COOL MILITARY PICTURES - AERIAL REFUELING OF TWO FULLY LOADED CARGO HELICOPTERS AT THE SAME TIME! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/195725.html
STRANGE FOOD FUN - CLEVER FOOD DISPLAYS - SCARECROW MADE FROM WORK PANTS AND WORK SHIRT - MEAT TRAYS HIDDEN INSIDE - GUTS ARE SAUSAGE TRAY! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/195727.html
STRANGE ROAD RAGE KARMA = MAD MOTORCYCLE RIDER SPEED UP TO KICK SIDE OF CAR BUT KNOCKS HIMSELF DOWN - CRAZY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/195728.html
STRANGE OLDE CELEBRITY SUPER HERO PIXS - ORIGINAL BATMAN AND HIS BAT BONG - WHO KNEW? - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/195729.html
STRANGE FARM ANIMALS - WILD 2 TONE LONG HAIRED BLACK AND WHITE GOAT! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/195730.html
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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SFV - GIF'S - MILITARY - EXPLOSIONS - JETS - TANKS - TROOP - ARMY - NAVY - AIR FORCES
http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/category/101242_1.html
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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
- 7 Strange Airplane Hijackings - http://www.strangcosmos.com/content/item/195654.html
- Reasons to Celebrate July - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/21628.html
- July 4th Jokes - Quickies! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/100954.html
- A Worthy July 4th Read - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/20060.html
- Fourth of July Poem - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/127376.html
- The 25 Best Quotes From American Soldiers - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/183102.html
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The Featured New Category This Week - SFV - GIF'S - MILITARY - EXPLOSIONS - JETS - TANKS - TROOP - ARMY - NAVY - AIR FORCES
http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/category/115_1.html
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Dienstag, 30. Juni 2015
Freitag, 26. Juni 2015
[b3ta] "It's impossible to find royalty free images of the Queen"
This Week:
* FUNNY STORIES - your faves
* ANIMATRONIC - nose-penis rap
* PTSD - with original 70s-era Action Man
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "Did we ever get round
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | to saving the web?
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| Memory fails us."
B3ta email 668 - 26th June 2015
Read this after inhaling botty fumes:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue668
Friend b3ta on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
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: SPONSORED LINK
Racing Post Horse Name Generator
Harness powerful science to learn if you're a
Northumberland Chorizo or a Back Door Merkel.
Learn your racehorse name and rating here:
>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other than celebrating being closer to death
>> Anarchy in the FB <<
Puntastic nonsense from Merkinhead: Facebook
"sings" the Sex Pistols.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Anarchy_in_the_Fb
>> The Knitwit Show <<
Pi Bennett has animated some wool into quite
the collection of short comedy sketches.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Knitwit_Show_in_a_show_form
>> He-Man in his twilight years <<
Fray Brentos writes, "A few years back, I
posted up a couple of cartoons that I'd written
with a friend and given to Lee Healey (him off
of Viz's fantastic Drunken Bakers) to draw. He
took his bloody time, I can tell you. Asked him
for 3 cartoons, it took him 4 years to finish."
It was worth the wait.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/He_Man_In_His_Twilight_Years
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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Funny Stories
Last week we wanted your favourite funny
anecdotes. Perhaps we were asking for this; the
winners' tales are amazing, but far too long to
do justice in the newsletter. Instead you can
find them at:
http://b3ta.com/questions/fuhkneestorees/
Here's a selection of our favourites:
* DEDICATION - "I once shit myself when the
computer game I was playing didn't have a pause
button. I think I must have been about 13."
(Baggenfock)
* SHOE - "When I was at primary school, an
emergency assembly was called one day. The
headmistress explained that a day shoe had been
found in the urinals of the boys' lavatory. And
inside this abandoned garment was...'A POO'.
"Surely all that was needed to uncover the
identity of this faecal terrorist was to
inspect the feet of the assembled throng: find
a one-shoed boy and you had your phantom
crapper bang to rights.
"But this is where the mystery deepened, for
you see there was no mono-shod logger to be
found. The perfect crime. To this day only our
excremental Banksy himself knows his identity."
(Richard mcbeef)
* STRAWBERRIES - I ate a huge pile of fresh
strawberries for tea. Cycling to work next
morning I felt the need to pass wind. I stood
up on the pedals a bit and discreetly let rip.
However, instead of a ladylike fart I felt a
sudden torrent of hot shit.
"I decided to head back home, trusting that
nobody had seen my performance. No such luck. A
car followed me all the way home, where I found
that the mess had shot right up my back,
staining my fancy hi-viz cycling shirt a
striking shade of brown. (Juan Quar)
>> This Week – FESTIVALS II <<
Yes it's that time of year again and it's been
a long while since we asked: regale us with
your festival tales.
http://b3ta.com/questions/festivalsII/
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the '25x25' challenge
Last week B3tard Smash Monkey offered to knit a
blanket of any design up to 25 by 25 woolly
squares.
Your favourite results included:
* Bridge: Classic photoshoppery soon to be
seen in wool. (Blobcat)
http://b3ta.com/board/11157550
* Spectrum: You can almost hear the blanket
loading. (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11157359
* Quo: If only it came in denim .
(HappyToast)
http://b3ta.com/board/11157351
All these images, and a load more can be
found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/25x25/
>> New challenge: Wigs <<
This week we're tackling toupées and wrestling
W(r)igs. Photoshop some funny head-hair; we'll
even welcome comedy fake beards.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/wigs/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* Fridge Henge - Good work, oh drunken druids of
Kent, good work
http://bit.ly/danger-of-being-crushed-by-a-dwarf
* "Blue Mint Indian Restaurant & Brothel" - a handy
combination. We accept this is probably not real
but it amused us to find it on Google Maps.
http://bit.ly/curry-first-sex-later-we-reckon
* A colour vision test game. Despite this
writer being red/green colour-blind, it rated
us as "Superb. You wouldn't have any problems
surviving in the jungle." So that's something
to bear in mind if this newsletter business
ever goes REALLY bad.
http://wvw.igame.com/eye-test/
* These pin-sharp images of people in traffic
jams in 1980s London time-machined us to our
childhood.
http://bit.ly/we-recognise-every-car
* Plumber commissions rap to promote his
business. Wonder if it works? This is certainly
more Bristol-based plumbing services content than
we normally include.
http://www.iansmithheatingengineers.co.uk/
* Best prank ever? In 1974, this chap set old
tyres on fire in the crater of a dormant
volcano. There's a fine line between 'the
bants' and actual terrorism.
http://bit.ly/this-is-probably-terrorism
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like a 14" TV with a huge remote glued to base
* DJ Anklepants and his animatronic nose penis
is our new jam. (We couldn't sit through much
of this, simply impressed that this is
someone's actual act).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1294&v=Fb4bCgWkZRc
* "The senior blower is back at his glory
hole". We were only looking up how marbles are
made. We certainly didn't expect this UTTER
FILTH.
https://youtu.be/1cXy7gxUtbU?t=2m34s
* Action Man: Battlefield Casualties - a dark
take on PTSD in the Army presented with 1970s
kids' toys.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Action_Man_Battlefield_Casualties
* Running a half-marathon in Tennessee? What
you need is some genteel encouragement from the
spectators - Deliverance-style.
http://bit.ly/commitment-to-a-joke
* Weird How To video about a fish. We wanted
to dislike it then found ourselves sucked in.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/A_Bit
* Cat takes unexpected trip on light airplane.
Made us anxious: so you don't suffer our
anxiety [SPOLIERS] it all ends fine.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Kitty_stowaway
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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Estate agent anti-lols
So your name is Alan Sadick - we've checked
and 'sadick' really IS a surname. All well and good
until you register your name as a URL:
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: 21ST CENTURY INSULT
Your content is both original and viral, but
your original content is not viral and your
viral content is not original.
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Friends: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Bastards: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by
@iaintait, PhosphorBurnedEyes, Tusk,
wakeupandsmellthebacon, jingle_man,
disconnected, notoolsovernight &
@ImVincentMurphy.
Topus-tipus via baying cyber-mob
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Friend b3ta on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
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TOP TIP:
Moths: There's PLENTY of light about during
the day if you could be arsed to get up
earlier, you lazy fucks.
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Posted by: rob@b3ta.com
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