VOL 1322 - May 18, 2014 - Strange Child Support 'Reasons' Dallas Women List

E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

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MAY FUN


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Strange "Drinking" Quotes:

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may ca use pregnancy.
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Child Support 'Reasons' Dallas Women List

The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Number 11 takes the prize.


1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of
child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can
provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party
if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex
with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me
his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.
If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.


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