VOL 1132 - July 25, 2012 - Strange Examples of "DoubleSpeak"

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

JULY Fun !


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_11128.html
STRANGE WINTER SKI SLOPES FUN - SNOWBOARDERS - THE PEOPLE "REAL" SKIERS LOVE TO HATE!

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_9783.html
HOT PRODUCT MODELS - THE BEVERAGE INDUSTRY - BEER - BOOZE AND SODA POP!

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/news_3049.html
NEW! - TOP 7 CELEBRITY TATTOO'S - ALYSSA MILANO - ASIA ARGENTO - PAM ANDERSON - ANGELINA JOLIE - ANA BEATRIZ BARROS - JESSIE JANE - CHRISTINA AGUILERA

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_3167.html
THE WORLDS STRANGEST HAIRCUT & HAIRDOOOOO'S!!!!!

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_10193.html
NEW CIVIL WAR PIXS - CHECK OUT THE NEW "CIVIL WAR" CATAGORY IN STRANGEMILITARY

==================================

Strange "I'm Not Very Bright" Quotes

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. - Marshall McLuhan

I never know how much of what I say is true. - Bette Midler

I have nothing intelligent to say. - Meg Tilly, when approached by a TV reporter asking questions on her way into the 1997 Oscar ceremonies.

I am not denying anything I did not say. -Brian Mulrooney

I really didn't say everything I said. - Yogi Berra

I'm a meathead. I can't help it, man. You've got smart people and you've got dumb people. - Keanu Reeves

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave. -Burt Reynolds

I'm no actor, and I have sixty-four pictures to prove it. - Victor Mature

Of all the things I've ever lost I miss my mind the most. - Steven Tyler

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Examples of "DoubleSpeak"

From the Quarterly Review of Doublespeak

A reader reports that when the patient died, the attending doctor recorded the following on the patient's chart: "Patient failed to fulfill his wellness potential."

Another doctor reports that in a recent issue of the American Journal of Family Practice fleas were called "hematophagous arthropod vectors."

The letter from the Air Force colonel in charge of safety said that rocket boosters weighing more than 300,000 pounds "have an explosive force upon surface impact that is sufficient to exceed the accepted overpressure threshhold of physiological damage for exposed personnel." In other words, if a 300,000-pound booster rocket falls on someone, he or she is not likely to survive.

A reader reports that the Army calls them "vertically deployed anti-personnel devices." You probably call them bombs.

At McClellan Air Force base in Sacramento, California, civilian mechanics were placed on "non-duty, non-pay status." That is, they were fired.

A personal ad from an unidentified mewspaper announces that a "formerly single man" seeks a single or married woman.

After taking the trip of a lifetime, our reader sent his twelve rolls of film to Kodak for developing (or "processing," as Kodak likes to call it) only to receive the following notice: "We must report that during the handling of your twelve 35mm Kodachrome slide orders, the films were involved in an unusual laboratory experience." The use of the passive is a particularly nice touch, don't you think? Nobody did anything to the films; they just had a bad experience. Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his pictures all over again, using the twelve replacement rolls Kodak so generously sent him.

The description on the package of Stouffer's Veal Tortellini with Tomato Sauce says it contains "exquisite egg pasta." The list of ingredients, however, includes "cooked noodle product."

In St. Louis there is an oriental rug store that advertizes "semi-antique" rugs.

The Minnesota Board of Education voted to consider requiring all students to do some "volunteer work" as a prerequisite to high school graduation.

Senator Orrin Hatch said that "capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."

According to the tax bill signed by President Reagan on December 22, 1987, Don Tyson and his sister-in-law Barbara run a "family farm." Their "farm" has 25,000 employees and grosses $1.7 billion a year. But as a "family farm" they get tax breaks that save them $135 million a year.

Scott L. Pickard, spokesperson for the Massachusetts Department of Public Works, calls them "ground-mounted confirmatory route markers." You probably call them road signs, but then you don't work in a government agency.

It's not "elderly" or "senior citizens" anymore. Now it's "chronologically experienced citizens."

According to the FAA, the propeller blade didn't break off, it was just a case of "uncontained blade liberation."

Submitted by Jenny J.

Rec'd from Bill Kruse:

When a Professional Bull Rider suffered three cracked vertebrae and a broken collar bone after having been bucked an enraged 1,800 pound animal, the medical authorities attributed his injuries to "aggravated bovine ejection."
No joke!


==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE AIR DEFENSES - LIGHT WEIGHT MOBILE SURFACE TO AIR MISSILE LOADED WITH 6 MISSILES TOPPED WITH RADAR - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/183980.html


STRANGE NEW PIXEL ART - LONDON - BIG BEN - LONDON BRIDGE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/184017.html


1970'S CADILLAC TOWING STRANGE SMALL HOUSEBOAT CONCEPT ON BOAT TRAILER - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/184049.html


STRANGE OPEN MEN'S ROOM - URINALS FACE FLOOR TO CEILING WINDOWS - GREAT VIEW OF AIRLINERS AT THEIR GATES - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/184064.html


STRANGE ILLUSTRATED WAR CONCEPTS AND IDEAS - MOTOR DRIVEN CAR CARRYING MACHINE GUN CREW - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/183900.html


STRANGE ORNATE GYPSY HOUSES FROM ROMANIA & MOLDAVIA - ORNATE DOUBLE STAIRWAY - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/183730.htmll


OLDE SPEED BOATS / RACERS - 1922 HACKER GENTLEMAN'S RACE BOAT - 29 FT - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/178022.html


STRANGE $1.00 DONATION "PROGRESSIVE PARTY" RECEIPT - 1912 - THEODORE ROOSEVELT 4 PRES HIRAM W JOHNSON - VP - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/184071.html


STRANGE STAR WARS SCANDAL- PRINCESS LEIA CAUGHT KISSING WOOKIE - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/184082.html


AWESOME NOSE ON AERIAL PHOTO OF B-17 WITH B-24 JUST BELOW! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/184084.html


USS DWIGHT D EISENHOWER CVN-69 - ATTACK AIRCRAFT CARRIER GETS READY TO RECEIVE NAVY HELICOPTER REPELLING SEAL TEAM - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/184086.html


AWESOME IMPROVEMENT THAT ADDING COLOR BRINGS TO A PICTURE - CLASSIC RURAL SOUTHERN COUNTRY STORE/GAS STATION PORCH SCENE IN BOTH BLACK & WHITE AND COLOR! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/184123.html


OLDE STARS - PETER O'TOOLE - LAWRENCE OF ARABIA - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/184125.html


STRANGE TOYS - 'CRAZY CAT LADY' ACTION FIGURE - WITH 6 EXTRA CATS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/184127.html


BATMAN EVOLUTION - 1966 THRU 2008 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/184138.html


WWII JAPANESE SUBMARINE CARRYING RECON AIRCRAFT - 1 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/184151.html


STRANGE OLDE PRODUCTS & INVENTIONS - FOLD-DOWN UPRIGHT PIANO FOR BEDRIDDEN PATIENTS! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/184205.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - STRETCH LIMOUSINES - WILD AND LONG - HIGH END LUXURY CARS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100366_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

7 Strange Reward Stories - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/183786.html


9 Most Reckless Doctors - http://www.strangemedical.com/content/item/183788.html


Strange Test - Are You From The Ghetto or Suburbs? - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/127887.html


Clever Riddle - Great Problem Solving Skills Test - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/118545.html


Strange Uses For 'Bounce" Dryer Sheets - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/108809.html


Test For Dementia - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/117963.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - STRETCH LIMOUSINES - WILD AND LONG - HIGH END LUXURY CARS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/115_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites


Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!
a

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings


http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------


Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html