Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: VOL 1105 - April 22, 2012 - The Strange Unofficial Drivers Test/Quiz

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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A Tribute to Spring Fun !

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

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NEW! - STRANGE CIRCUS FREAKS & ODDITIES

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AMAZING MILITARY CAMOUFLAGE!

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Strange "Male Perspectives on Marriage"

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - The Unofficial Drivers Test/Quiz

We've all seen it. People change when they get behind the wheel of a car.
So now, to profile your personality, here is the special Driving Test...

1: Which part of your car wears out most often?
a: the wiper blades
b: the belts
c: the horn

2: Automatic door locks are good for...
a: security
b: convenience
c: messing with the heads of people trying to get in

3: I hate the rain because...
a: it lowers visibility and makes for less safe conditions
b: I answered (a) to question #1
c: I just washed my car

4: Please select the statement that best describes you.
a: I have never written in the dust on someone's car
b: I have written "wash me" in the dust on someone's car
c: I have drawn genitalia in the dust on someone's car

5: The "bright" setting on your headlights is for...
a: dark, poorly lit roads
b: flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
c: revenge!

6: I have enough power in my car stereo system to...
a: get it loud enough to drown out road noise
b: get it headbanging loud for my Metallica CD
c: cause permanent hearing loss to anyone within ten feet

7: How many times have you been pulled over for speeding in the last year?
a: zero or one, because I'm generally a safe driver
b: two or three, because I've had some unlucky breaks
c: before or after they took my license away?

8: What hand gesture do you use most while driving?
a: "go ahead"
b: "thank you"
c: "@#!*&%^!"

9: When a bicyclist is next to you, you should...
a: be aware of them
b: speed up and get past them
c: open the door

10: Your rear view mirror is for...
a: watching for approaching cars
b: watching for approaching police cars
c: checking your hair

11: If you are driving and you begin to feel very sleepy, you should...
a: pull off to the side of the road and rest
b: stop at the next convenience mart and get a liter of coffee or Mountain Dew
c: drive faster

12: The Highway Patrol exists to...
a: ensure the safety of all motorists
b: issue as many tickets as possible
c: keep donut shops in business

13: You are supposed to signal a turn or lane change...
a: 50 feet prior
b: 25 feet prior
c: right after you do it

14: If I had a lot of money, I'd spend it on...
a: a minivan
b: a really cool sports car or 4-wheeler
c: bail

15: The best thing about a chauffered limousine is...
a: I don't have to drive
b: I can stretch out, relax, and have a drink
c: leaning out the open sunroof and shouting at and/or flashing people

How to score the quiz:

Give yourself one point for every A, two for every B, and three for
every C. Tally up the points and consult the list below.

15-24 Points
You're a good driver. You watch the speed limit, remain calm, and
observe not only the rules of the road, but also the etiquette. And
since you drive so safely and so politely, you'll live a long time.
Long enough to decelerate with each passing decade until you're one of
those old people in a big car, going ten miles under the speed limit
in the fast lane and pissing all the rest of us off.

25-35 Points
Hey! Joe Average! You're a decent driver without being boring. You
get where you're going fast without too much danger. In fact, you're
the type of person we all like to ride with. Well, all of us except
your mother, because "you're going too fast! Watch out for that car
in front of you! You're going to kill us all!"

36-45 Points
Remember in driver's education class when they told us to drive
defensively? You're the reason.

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 22. April 2012

VOL 1105 - April 22, 2012 - The Strange Unofficial Drivers Test/Quiz

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