Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: VOL 1099 - April 01, 2012

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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A Tribute to April Fools Day Craziness !

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

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Strange April Fools Day Quotes:

1. "April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four." ~ Mark Twain

2. "It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor." ~ Max Eastman

3. "Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of "May Day!"?" ~ Author Unknown

4. "Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever." ~ Charles Lamb

5. "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." ~ Oscar Wilde

6. "Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it." ~ Author Unknown

7. "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself." ~ Ethel Barrymore

8. "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" ~ Dave Barry

9. "The full area of ignorance is not mapped. We are at present only exploring the fringes." ~ JD Bernal

10. "Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you." ~ Carl Gustav Jung

11. "A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice" ~ Bill Cosby

12. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. ~ Will Rogers

13. "I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things." ~ Alan Coren

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Top 10 April Fools Sports Pranks

Top 10 April Fools Sports Pranks

10. For Packers fans: "Green Bay Packers announce Brett Favre has unretired and is returning to the Packers 'to help in any way I can,'" said Alice A. of St. Paul, Minn. (Wonder what the fan suggestions would be about how Favre could help?)

9. "Assure Mark Sanchez that he will be the Jets' starting quarterback all season," said Carey S. of Palo Alto, Calif. (All season? How about all September?)

8. For the Tampa Bay Buccaneers: "A memo from the NFL that because of their 40 giveaways last season, they will be only team that will not have all its turnovers instantly reviewed due to TV time constraints. Instead, the league will just assume they lost the ball," said Susan R. of New Orleans.

7. For Dolphins fans: "Breaking news in the Miami Herald that Drew Brees has demanded a trade to Miami -- but Dolphins declined because 'we like the guys we've got.'" said John R. of St. Petersburg, Fla.

6. For Tiger Woods: "A letter from Augusta National (because they don't use social media) informing him that he did not properly inform them of a caddy change, therefore if he chooses to play, he must either have Stevie Williams on his bag or carry it himself," said James W. of Atlanta, Ga. (Hit the ball and drag my clubs, hit the ball and … )

5. For Tim Tebow: "Jets give him 'special headphones' developed by NASA that will change any Rex Ryan profanity into a Bible verse," said Curt G. of Savage, Minn.

4. For Cubs fans: "Put World Series tickets on sale now," said Janice H. of Palo Alto, Calif.

3. For Magic fans: "Dwight Howard says he is giving up basketball to pursue a baseball career because a curveball has got to be easier to hit than a free throw," said Peggy C. of Oviedo, Fla.

2. For everyone: "A Kim Kardashian Love Interest TV Special in which she places the name of every unmarried NFL player into a bowl and declares she will pick her next lover. She draws a name with America watching and says, 'Oh no, not him again!'" said Van B. of Los Angeles.

1. For Rams fans: "The Rams announce they have hired someone to replace Gregg Williams as their defensive coordinator -- Dog the Bounty Hunter," said Elias K. of Orlando, Fla.

Don't know about the rest of you but some of us would love to see Dog the Bounty Hunter on a sideline, while others might prefer Kim Kardashian. In any case, beware what you read and hear on Sunday, April 1st, especially because no matter how odd it sounds, it might be true.

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 1. April 2012

VOL 1099 - April 01, 2012 - Top 10 April Fools Sports Pranks

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