Mittwoch, 19. Januar 2011

Vol 974 - Jan. 19, 2011 - Strange Pilots & Mechanics With a Sense of Humor

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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Strange Stupid Sports Quotes


1. In 2004 the Minnesota Timberwolves offered Sprewell a $21 million contract extension. The three year extension was famously rejected by Spree with these words, "I have a family to feed."

He played out his contract, having the worst statistical year of his career, and then never played in the NBA again.

2. David Beckham - When asked if he was a volatile player, the response came: "Well, I can play in the centre, on the right, and occasionally on the left side."

3. Boxer Alan Minter - "Sure, there have been injuries and deaths in boxing—but none of them serious. "

4. Ron Meyer - "It isn't like I came down from Mount Sinai with the tabloids."

5. Baseballer Andre Dawson - "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

6. Basketballer Scotty Pippen - "He's one of the best power forwards of all time. I take my hands off to him."

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Pilots & Mechanics With a Sense of Humor

Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a
200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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USAF THUNDERBIRD'S - FLYBY DISNEY WORLD - 1 - OVER EPCOT - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/171780.html


STRANGE OLDE STARS & CELEBS - NANCY SINATRA - PINK BIKINI AND BOOTS MADE FOR WALKIN! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/171846.html


STRANGE MARINES HELICOPTER - BUG EYED - HMRM-461 - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/172102.html


STRANGE MILITARY FUN - EXTREME SNIPER GOLF PRACTICE - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/172229.html


ARIZONA WINTER PICTURES - SNOW COVERED SAGUARO CACTUS - WHAT HAPPENED TO GLOBAL WARMING? - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/172242.html


STRANGE SPORTS - LIGHTNING STRIKE NEAR BASEBALL STADIUM - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/172253.html


STRANGE MOUNTAIN CLIMBING DANGERS - FREE CLIMBING - VARY DANGEROUS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/172261.html


STRANGE SIGNS - CHECKOUT EXPRESS SIGN FOR IDIOTS - - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/172273.html


STRANGE HOTELS AROUND THE WORLD - DOG BARK PARK INN - IDAHO - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/172284.html


STRANGE GRASSHOPPER CLOSEUP - A HUMAN FACE APPEARS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/172285.html


MARTHA STEWART GETS LIP STITCHES - PET BULL DOG ATTACKED! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/172312.html


MARILYN MONROE aka NORMA JEAN DiMAGGIO - DEPT OF DEFENSE ID CARD - USO TOURS AND WHITE HOUSE VISITS - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/172314.html


BEAUTIFUL CONVERTIBLE SPORTS CAR - SLEEK - FAST! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/172347.html


FORMULA 1 RACING - LOOK DOWN VIEW OF BUSY RED PIT CREW - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/172348.html


STRANGE CAMPING TIPS IN NEWSPAPER - 2 TV'S? - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/172349.html


STRANGE AERIAL PICTURE - SHIP OUTRUNS RAINSTORM CHASING IT ON THE BLACK SEA! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/172350.html


OLDE PIX - WWI NAVAL CONVOY - BATTLESHIPS LINE UP FOR SEA BATTLE - TORPEDO BOATS SCOUT - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/172351.html


STRANGE ZOO - CURIOUS MANTA RAYS CIRCLE SWIMMER IN CRYSTAL CLEAR WATER - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/172352.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - STEALTH - AIRPLANES - SHIPS - SECRET EQUIPMENT - BLACK OPS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/100686_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Only In TEXAS! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/172270.html


Strange Little Known Texas Facts - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/172271.html


Strange Facts About Automobiles - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/168716.html


Strange "Other" Uses For Toothpaste - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/168717.html


10 Hilarious Cover Letter Blunders - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/168722.html


Strange Things to Ponder - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/168737.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - STEALTH - AIRPLANES - SHIPS - SECRET EQUIPMENT - BLACK OPS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/category/107_1.html

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