Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 890 - Mar. 31, 2010

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

3 NEW WEBSITE ENHANCEMENTS!

We have added three new features that you have been asking for.

1. GAMES UPGRADE - TOURNAMENTS - NEW FORMAT - WIN CASH & PRIZES

"NEW! Play free online games on Strange Cosmos now! Play your favorite games like Diner Dash, Cube Crasher and Bubble Town with your friends or by yourself. You can now invite your friends from Facebook to play and compete in Cash Tournaments and win fun prizes; get ready to compare each others' scores!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/games.html

2. Auto Image Centering - no need to scroll down and center the image anymore!

3. New Utility Bar on top right and bottom of each image page which allows direct connect to 12 POPULAR Social Networking and News sites - FaceBook - MySpace - Reddit - Twitter - Digg - Stumbleupon - Yahoo - Google.

Now it's easier than ever to share and store your favorite images and jokes!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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Strange Quotes:

"A lot of people would rather tour sewers than visit their
cousins." - Jane Howard

"Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year." - Victor Borge

"In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'" - Tom Lehrer

"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." - Mark Twain

"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage." - Mark Russell

"Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it is more likely to be female." - Desmond Morris

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer." - Paul Ehrlich

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - The Differences Between Men And Women

NICKNAMES:
If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

DINING OUT:
And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES:
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to: Go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY:
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Mittwoch, 31. März 2010

Vol 890 - Mar. 31, 2010 - The Differences Between Men And Women

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