Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:
---------------------------------------
June Fun !
------------------------
Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?
Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"
http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html
------------------------
NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:
http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_2562.html
STRANGE PLACES TO GO TO THE BATHROOM WHEN TRAVELING
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10286.html
STRANGE AFRICAN MADE FURNITURE - SKINS, TUSKS & HORNS! - AMAZING COUCHES - CHAIRS - TABLES - CHESTS
http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_10651.html
STRANGE MAPS OF THE WORLD AND USA - INDIAN TRIBES - RELIGION - WINDY STATES - OLD AND NEW!
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_7807.html
STRANGE TOMBSTONES AND GRAVE MARKERS & STRANGE ITEMS LEFT IN REMEMBRANCE
http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10640.html
OLDE CAR TRIPS - TOURIST TRAPS - TRAVELING CARNIVALS - STATE PARKS - STRANGE ATTRACTIONS
==================================
Strange Golf Quotes:
The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis
Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan
Professional golf is the only sport where if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus
I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino
I'm not saying my golf game went bad..., but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. ~ Lee Trevino
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Tongue Twisters
1 Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
2 A quick witted cricket critic.
3 IF IF = THEN THEN THEN = ELSE ELSE ELSE = IF;
programming language PL/I by Bruce Walker
4 I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where she sits she shines, and where she shines she sits.
5 How many boards
Could the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes got bored?
from the comic Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Waterson
6 How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?
7 Send toast to ten tense stout saints' ten tall tents.
8 Denise sees the fleece,
Denise sees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freeze the fleas.
9 Coy knows pseudo noise codes.
10 Sheena leads, Sheila needs.
11 The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.
12 Something in a thirty-acre thermal thicket of thorns and thistles thumped and thundered threatening the three-D thoughts of Matthew the thug - although, theatrically, it was only the thirteen-thousand thistles and thorns through the underneath of his thigh that the thirty year old thug thought of that morning.
13 Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?
14 Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.
15 You cuss, I cuss, we all cuss, for asparagus!
From a Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson
16 Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.
17 Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
18 Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.
19 I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
20 Stupid superstition!
21 There was a fisherman named Fisher
who fished for some fish in a fissure.
Till a fish with a grin,
pulled the fisherman in.
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
22 World Wide Web
23 To sit in solemn silence in a dull dark dock
In a pestilential prison with a life long lock
Awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block.
by W.S. Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan from The Mikado
24 Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut-Butter, 'tis the peanut-butter picky people pick.
from a commercial
25 If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews?
26 Luke's duck likes lakes. Luke Luck licks lakes. Luke's duck licks lakes. Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes. Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes.
from Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks
27 Seventy seven benevolent elephants
28 There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.
29 Santa's Short Suit Shrunk
name of a children's book
30 I was born on a pirate ship
Hold your tongue while saying it.
31 I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
32 Wayne went to Wales to watch walruses.
33 In 'ertford, 'ereford and 'ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly Hever 'appen.
From the film ""My Fair Lady""
34 One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was one too.
One-one won one race.
Two-two won one too.
35 Eleven benevolent elephants
36 Celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, ...
37 Willy's real rear wheel
38 If Pickford's packers packed a packet of crisps would the packet of crisps that Pickford's packers packed survive for two and a half years?
==================================
Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
==================================
STRANGE FOOD FUN - TAILGATING FUN - AMAZING FOOTBALL STADIUM FULL OF APPETIZERS AND SANDWICHES - GREAT SPREAD! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/195444.html
STRANGE MEDICAL PROCEDURES - EYE COLOR CHANGE - HETEROCHROMIA - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195450.html
STRANGE CELEBRATED FIGURES FROM HISTORY WHO WERE REALLY HORRIBLE PEOPLE - THOMAS EDISON - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195529.html
CHILD STARS WHO WERE CUTE BUT NOW ARE UGLY! - MYLIE CYRUS - LINDSEY LOHAN - MACAULEY CULKIN - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/195587.html
WHY I LOST MY JOB SERIES - BOSS TOLD ME TO STRAP DOWN THE NEW BMW'S ! duh - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195588.html
STRANGE SPORTS FUN - BEST EVER PING PONG SMASH RETURN! INCREDIBLE! - FUN ACTION GIF - http://www.strangesportsmedical.com/content/item/195589.html
STRANGE ANIMAL DANGERS - 3 KILLER WHALES TEAM UP TO CAUSE HUGE WAVES TO FLOAT SEAL OFF ICE FLOE - AMAZING ANIMAL DANGERS - ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangezoosports.com/content/item/195590.html
MY HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED - MEN AND WOMEN 1980 vs TODAY! SCARY - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195591.html
STRANGE NASA PICTURES - SPACE SHUTTLE ENDEAVORS FINAL PIGGY BACK 747 RIDE FOR - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/195592.html
STRANGE OLDE ROCK STAR PICTURES - ROY ORBISON RIDING A GO KART! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/195593.html
RANCH FUN - CRAZY HORSE GIVING YOU A GOOFY SMILE! - http://www.strangefarmertravel.com/content/item/195594.html
STRANGE OLDE VEHICLE ACCESSORIES - THEY HAD GPS SYSTEMS IN 1930 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/195595.html
STRANGE US CURRENCY - THE RARE $5.00 SILVER CERTIFICATE - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/195596.html
STRANGE WOMAN'S HAIR STYLES AND COLORS - CRAZY NEON RAINBOW COLORS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195597.html
STRANGE EXPENSIVE TOYS AND PRODUCTS - 18 CARAT GOLD SPEAKERS $4,700,000 - FOR YOUR TIN EAR! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/195598.html
STRANGE OLDE FAST FOOD LOGOS - CHECK OUT THE ORIGINAL McDONALDS LOGO! - SPEEDEE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/195599.html
SUMMER FUN PRODUCTS - CRAZY VIKING LONG SHIP HAMMOCK - http://www.strangecosmosdangers.com/content/item/195600.html
STRANGE SPORTS ITEMS - WOW - THE 2011 BOSTON BRUINS BAR TAB AFTER THE CHAMPIONSHIP CELEBRATION! - $100,000 BOTTLE OF RARE CHAMPAGNE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/195601.html
==================================
The Featured Pix Category This Week - OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - PUZZLES - STRANGE ITEMS
http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/100303_1.html
==================================
The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
- Strange Mystery - Nobody Knows Who Invented Spectacles - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/164535.html
- Many Kings Were Just Plain Crazy! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/164536.html
- The Strange 7 Wonders of the World - Old and New - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/164537.html
- Mystery - Who Owns the Moon? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/164538.html
==================================
The Featured New Category This Week - OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - PUZZLES - STRANGE ITEMS
http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/110_1.html
==================================
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!
Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263
http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/
------------------------------------------------------------
Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites
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Dienstag, 23. Juni 2015
Samstag, 20. Juni 2015
VOL 1436 - June 21, 2015 - FATHERS DAY SPECIAL - Wise Advice From Seniors About Raising Miserable Children - (That's YOU!)
Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:
---------------------------------------
June Fun !
A Father's Day Special Edition
------------------------
Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?
Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"
http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html
------------------------
NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:
http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_5501.html
STRANGE RAILROAD TRAINS - LOCOMOTIVES - RAIL CARS
http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10738.html
OLDE STARS AND THEIR FANCY CARS - FROM A 1911 MODEL T TO NEWER ROLLS ROYCE'S
http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/news_8100.html
RALLY CARS & TRUCKS - WHEELS OFF THE GROUND!
http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_10053.html
DOGS TAKING A RIDE - ON MOTORCYCLES AND IN CARS AND TRUCKS!
http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_6569.html
STRANGE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - IS THIS REALLY A SPORT?
==================================
Fathers Day Quotes:
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
~Author Unknown
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Wise Advice From Seniors About Raising Miserable Children - (That's YOU!)
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve and the first thing He said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve. We have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way !"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
==================================
Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
==================================
FATHERS DAY FUN WITH DAD! - CRAZY BICYCLE RACING WITH LIL' KIDS IN TOW! - WHAT A RUSH! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/188514.html
STRANGE MEDICAL PROCEDURES - BLEPHAROPLATY - KOREAN EYE SKIN RESHAPING - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195449.html
MILITARY FUN - COOL HAND GRENADE KEY CHAIN & CHANGE POCKET! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/195496.html
AMAZING OLDE ROCK & ROLL PICTURES - AERIAL VIEW OF THE CROWDS AT THE WOODSTOCK FESTIVAL - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/195547.html
DUMB TRUCK DRIVERS - MAN TAKE TALL TRUCK UNDER A LOW BRIDGE - RIPS OFF TOP! - AMAZING ACTION GIF - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/195548.html
STRANGE FOOD FUN - FINISH THIS IRISH BREAKFAST IN 40 MINUTES AND IT'S FREE! - GREAT RESTAURANT PROMOTIONS! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/195551.html
SPORTS DANGERS - ICE SKATING COUPLE TRY LIFT TRICK AND BLONDE DOES FACE PLANT ON THE ICE! OUCH! - CRAZY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/195552.html
INCREDIBLE HOCKEY PLAYS - DETROIT REDWINGS GOALIE DESPERATELY REACHES GOAL STICK BACK AND STOPS OPEN NET SHOT - WOW - AMAZING ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/195553.html
STRANGE ART AROUND THE WORLD - INCREDIBLE COCONUT SHELL CARVING! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195554.html
STRANGE TRUCKS AND RV'S - HUGE PICKUP TRUCK WITH HUGE 5TH WHEEL CAMPER - MONSTER TIRES ALL THE WAY AROUND! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/195556.html
STRANGE OLDE MOVIE BACK LOT PICTURES - EXTRA'S ON THE SET OF CLEOPATRA 1963 - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/195557.html
STRANGE OLDE HIGH SCHOOL PICTURES - CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL - 1950'S - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195443.html
STRANGE GOOFY PIXS - TODAY'S "REAL" MAN GASES UP HIS PINK "CHOPPER" MOTOR SCOOTER!- THE NEW JOHN WAYNE TYPE? - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/195558.html
FATHER OF THE YEAR NOMINEE - TAKING THE LITTLE DAUGHTER FOR A BIKE RIDE! THE VIEW NEVER CHANGES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195559.html
FATHERS DAY BOOK SPECIAL - FARM VERSION - "50 SHADES OF HAY!" - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/195560.html
STRANGE ANIMAL FUN - MALE CARDINAL FISH BROODING EGGS IN HIS MOUTH GIVING OXYGEN TO FUTURE OFFSPRING! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/195561.html
STRANGE MILITARY FUN - VIETNAM VET AT THE VFW ENJOYING A DRINK WITH HIS FAVORITE TEE SHIRT ON! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/195562.html
STRANGE BRITISH ROYALTY PICTURES - PRINCESS KATE MEETING A TATTOOED MAN FROM THE ISLANDS! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/195563.html
==================================
The Featured Pix Category This Week - ANIMATIONS - GIF'S - POWER POINT PRESENTATIONS
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/55_1.html
==================================
The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
- Fathers Day Poems - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/100713.html
- Naming The Father For Child Support in England - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/25464.html
- Top 50 Quotations for Father's Day - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/176511.html
- My Father - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/100714.html
- 25 Inspirational Quotes for Father's Day - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/152636.html
==================================
The Featured New Category This Week - ANIMATIONS - GIF'S - POWER POINT PRESENTATIONS
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/111_1.html
==================================
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!
Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263
http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/
------------------------------------------------------------
Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites
==========================
********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)
Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!
#1 Stranger
Do NOT Reply to this automated e-Letter: E-Mail replies to this message will not be seen.
To Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html
---------------------------------------
June Fun !
A Father's Day Special Edition
------------------------
Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?
Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"
http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html
------------------------
NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:
http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_5501.html
STRANGE RAILROAD TRAINS - LOCOMOTIVES - RAIL CARS
http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10738.html
OLDE STARS AND THEIR FANCY CARS - FROM A 1911 MODEL T TO NEWER ROLLS ROYCE'S
http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/news_8100.html
RALLY CARS & TRUCKS - WHEELS OFF THE GROUND!
http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_10053.html
DOGS TAKING A RIDE - ON MOTORCYCLES AND IN CARS AND TRUCKS!
http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_6569.html
STRANGE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - IS THIS REALLY A SPORT?
==================================
Fathers Day Quotes:
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
~Author Unknown
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Wise Advice From Seniors About Raising Miserable Children - (That's YOU!)
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve and the first thing He said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve. We have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way !"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
==================================
Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
==================================
FATHERS DAY FUN WITH DAD! - CRAZY BICYCLE RACING WITH LIL' KIDS IN TOW! - WHAT A RUSH! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/188514.html
STRANGE MEDICAL PROCEDURES - BLEPHAROPLATY - KOREAN EYE SKIN RESHAPING - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195449.html
MILITARY FUN - COOL HAND GRENADE KEY CHAIN & CHANGE POCKET! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/195496.html
AMAZING OLDE ROCK & ROLL PICTURES - AERIAL VIEW OF THE CROWDS AT THE WOODSTOCK FESTIVAL - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/195547.html
DUMB TRUCK DRIVERS - MAN TAKE TALL TRUCK UNDER A LOW BRIDGE - RIPS OFF TOP! - AMAZING ACTION GIF - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/195548.html
STRANGE FOOD FUN - FINISH THIS IRISH BREAKFAST IN 40 MINUTES AND IT'S FREE! - GREAT RESTAURANT PROMOTIONS! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/195551.html
SPORTS DANGERS - ICE SKATING COUPLE TRY LIFT TRICK AND BLONDE DOES FACE PLANT ON THE ICE! OUCH! - CRAZY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/195552.html
INCREDIBLE HOCKEY PLAYS - DETROIT REDWINGS GOALIE DESPERATELY REACHES GOAL STICK BACK AND STOPS OPEN NET SHOT - WOW - AMAZING ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/195553.html
STRANGE ART AROUND THE WORLD - INCREDIBLE COCONUT SHELL CARVING! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195554.html
STRANGE TRUCKS AND RV'S - HUGE PICKUP TRUCK WITH HUGE 5TH WHEEL CAMPER - MONSTER TIRES ALL THE WAY AROUND! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/195556.html
STRANGE OLDE MOVIE BACK LOT PICTURES - EXTRA'S ON THE SET OF CLEOPATRA 1963 - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/195557.html
STRANGE OLDE HIGH SCHOOL PICTURES - CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL - 1950'S - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195443.html
STRANGE GOOFY PIXS - TODAY'S "REAL" MAN GASES UP HIS PINK "CHOPPER" MOTOR SCOOTER!- THE NEW JOHN WAYNE TYPE? - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/195558.html
FATHER OF THE YEAR NOMINEE - TAKING THE LITTLE DAUGHTER FOR A BIKE RIDE! THE VIEW NEVER CHANGES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/195559.html
FATHERS DAY BOOK SPECIAL - FARM VERSION - "50 SHADES OF HAY!" - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/195560.html
STRANGE ANIMAL FUN - MALE CARDINAL FISH BROODING EGGS IN HIS MOUTH GIVING OXYGEN TO FUTURE OFFSPRING! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/195561.html
STRANGE MILITARY FUN - VIETNAM VET AT THE VFW ENJOYING A DRINK WITH HIS FAVORITE TEE SHIRT ON! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/195562.html
STRANGE BRITISH ROYALTY PICTURES - PRINCESS KATE MEETING A TATTOOED MAN FROM THE ISLANDS! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/195563.html
==================================
The Featured Pix Category This Week - ANIMATIONS - GIF'S - POWER POINT PRESENTATIONS
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/55_1.html
==================================
The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
- Fathers Day Poems - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/100713.html
- Naming The Father For Child Support in England - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/25464.html
- Top 50 Quotations for Father's Day - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/176511.html
- My Father - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/100714.html
- 25 Inspirational Quotes for Father's Day - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/152636.html
==================================
The Featured New Category This Week - ANIMATIONS - GIF'S - POWER POINT PRESENTATIONS
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/111_1.html
==================================
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!
Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263
http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/
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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites
==========================
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#1 Stranger
Do NOT Reply to this automated e-Letter: E-Mail replies to this message will not be seen.
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Freitag, 19. Juni 2015
[b3ta] "Contains official Boris Johnson novelty swearing keyring"
This Week:
* INTERNET BOLLOCKS - Lots of it
* WEB SHENANIGANS - Yep, that too
* TCP/IP LOLS - We've got them
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_______ ____ __ ___
___/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the bottles
__/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | of Uber piss we find in the
_/____/____/\__/_/ |_| street as cultural relics"
B3ta email 667 - 19th Jun 2015
Read this issue whilst huffing 'hippy crack':
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue667
Friend b3ta on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
-------------------------------------------------
: SPONSORED LINK
Racing Post Horse Name Generator
Are you a Frankel or a Euphoric Contraflow?
Learn your racehorse name and rating.
-------------------------------------------------
: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other than than sexy but sinister soup
>> I'm A Robot <<
PI Bennett has taken a short video of a child
pretending to be a robot and turned it into a
tune. Well done.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Im_A_Robot
>> Subterranean Facebook Blues <<
Following "Soc.Media Rhapsody" and "Twittering
Heights", here is another social profile lyrical
punfest. Thanks Merkinhead, you're spoiling us.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Subterranean_Facebook_Blues
>> True confession: "I stole a Clanger" <<
Mushybees writes, "Just a story about the time
I tried to steal one of The Clangers, in front
of hundreds of people and Oliver Postgate. I'm
an idiot."
http://bit.ly/true-life-confession
-------------------------------------------------
: SOCIAL MEDIA HASHTAG CONTENT
Sorry, we've a Facebook page :(
* Sing, "Bag for life, bag for reality" - once
you see this image it'll change how you
shop forever!
http://bit.ly/try-and-get-this-out-of-your-head
* 1970s Alan Sugar is basically Matt Berry
http://bit.ly/here-is-a-tv-movie-waiting-to-happen
* Anyone fancy a Beatles and Jimmy Savile
caption compo?
http://bit.ly/jimmy-friends-with-beatles
-------------------------------------------------
: LONDON BISH, LONDON BASH, LONDON BOSH
Unofficial meet on Sat
* From 3pm - 6pm - The Royal Oak on Tabard
Street (the site of the last London Bash)
* 6pm onwards - The Miller, Snowfields, London
Bridge/Borough area.
http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/25474
-------------------------------------------------
: APOLOGIES FOR MAKING YOU READ THIS JOKE
It won't happen again
What's the difference between Van Morrison and a
Morrisons van?
One wrote Astral Weeks and the other's an Astra
with leeks.
-------------------------------------------------
: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* There's two kinds of people in this world -
enjoyable, well observed illustrations.
http://2kindsofpeople.tumblr.com/
* Liking this Amazon review for a bra top -
scroll down and find the cat.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00RT1KB98/b3ta-20
* We got round to listening to the fan-made KLF
doc. Liked it so much we listened twice. Turn
up loud.
http://bit.ly/turn-up-the-strobe
* Keeping it 90s dance - anyone who remembers
The Orb's Little Fluffy Clouds will find
the actual interview the vocal came from
pretty interesting.
http://bit.ly/what-were-the-skies-like-when-you-were-young
* The Jazz Computer is moderately entertaining if
you like experimental HTML5 art. And we do.
* "Oh hello. I won a 6-foot dildo throne. This
is my story." Amuses us mainly as winning
this is clearly a problem.
-------------------------------------------------
: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like TV but without the dust on the screen
* 9 million people have listened to this song
and according to the YouTube comments, most
of them regret it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0
* So this bloke goes and does an hour long
lecture to the people at Google, explains
that women fancy vampires and men like
transgendered porn. Blimey!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-A8GvUehq4
* "It works like a normal ukulele but it also
shoots fire" - Mad Max video fan fiction
done right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=6&v=tzfyoSgFGNc
* Did you ever use a CGA PC? They were around
in early 80s. We never saw ours do anything
like this. Extraordinary.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHXx3orN35Y
* This early version of A-ha's Take On Me is
fascinating. Riff there, verse almost there
but horrible chorus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rc6MumuychA
* Construction workers play whack-a-mole.
Amusing.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Construction_Workers
------------------------------------------------
: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'LLamas' challenge
Last week we took a ride on the one headed
push-me-pull-you that is the Llama. We also
stroked an alpaca or two and drew pictures.
* Recall: Get your Llama to Mars.
(FreshWaterMole)
http://b3ta.com/board/11156105
* Spiritual Surrealism: Furry, art-faith lols.
(BrianO'Blivion)
http://b3ta.com/board/11155889
* Culture Club: so bad its good. (Ninj)
http://b3ta.com/board/11156152
All these images, and a load more can be found
here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/llamas/
>> New challenge: 25x25 <<
Manic knitter Smash Monkey has volunteered her
services. Design a piece of pixel perfection in
25x25 squares or less and she'll turn it into a
lovely, cosy blanket.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/25x25/
-------------------------------------------------
: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Not Getting the Job
Last week we asked if you'd ever cheated
yourself out of a job:
http://b3ta.com/questions/notgettingthejob/
* FASCIST – "Being a hippy greeny type in my
youth, I volunteered with the National Trust
restoring a river bank and clearing bramble from
an ancient woodland. When a job came up with my
local National Park Service, my CV and
application letter hit their desks before the
ink on the advert had dried! I was so keen
because it truly was the job of a lifetime.
Sadly I blew the interview due to nerves. The
final nail was hammered into my coffin of
failure when I got confused with my National
bodies and claimed to have done extensive
voluntary work with the National Front." (Rev.
Jayneflakes)
* SPANG – "My bro told me about a job interview
he had once. It went wrong just as he was
leaving; shaking his interviewers hand he
blurted out "Cheers to meet you!", then in a
confusion of embarrassment at having said
something so daft, turned on his heel and walked
face first into a pillar." (eViLegion)
* OOPS – "In 2001 I had the possibility of
moving to Australia with my employer's blessing
(and sponsorship - despite me being over the age
limit) I was being interviewed in Australia
house when the question 'Have you ever been in
prison' came up. 'Is it still compulsory?'
wasn't the answer they were looking for
apparently." (Captain Placid)
>> This Week – FUNNY STORIES <<
Back to basics this week no strict question just
tell us some funny things that have happened to
you:
http://b3ta.com/questions/funnystories/
-------------------------------------------------
Say yes: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Sod you then: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------------
THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by
@maqusan, The Tramp Surveyor and tits.
Subjlols via HappyToast.
Tip via browser.
-------------------------------------------------
: SPONSORED LINK! AGAIN! WHY NOT?
Racing Post Horse Name Generator
Are you a Frankel or a Euphoric Contraflow?
Learn your racehorse name and rating.
-------------------------------------------------
: SPONSOR B3TA
Want this space? Then talk to us. Please do,
because if we sell an advert it motivates us to
write a newsletter!
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Friend b3ta on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
-------------------------------------------------
TOP TIP:
Insults! You can hurt someone's feelings by
taking two negative traits and putting a "Mc"
between them, to create a pretend name. eg:
Lazy McThick,
Nasty McStupid,
Ugly McBoring.
__._,_.___
Posted by: rob@b3ta.com
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