Vol 677 - March 16, 2008 - You Might be a Leprechaun if.......

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Definitions:

WHAT IS AN IRISHMAN
An Irishman is a man who?

May not believe there is a God,
but is darn sure of the infallibility of the Pope...

Won't eat meat on Friday,
but will drink Jameson for breakfast.....

Has great respect for the truth,
he uses in emergencies...

Sees things not as they are
but the way they never will be.....

Cries at sad movies,
but cheers in battle....

Hates the English,
but reserves his cruelty for countryman....

Gets more Irish the further he gets from Ireland.....

Believes in civil rights,
but not in his neighborhood...

Believes to forgive is divine,
therefore doesn't exercise it himself....

Loves religion for its own sake,
but also because it makes it so inconvenient for his neighbors....

Scorns money,
but worships those who have it...

Considers any Irishman who
achieves success to be a traitor...

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - You Might be a Leprechaun if.......

Submitted by J, L, CR & TJ Morrison

You snicker uncontrollably all the way through "Darby O'Gill And The Little People."

Your record collection is stocked only with very short artists, Paula Abdul, Sheena Easton, Prince, Phil Collins.

When you see a rainbow, you get a greedy little look in your eye. (Arrrr, there's me pot o' gold!)

In your cupboard there is nothing but Lucky Charms cereal.

Every time you get your paycheck, you convert it into gold coins and bury it somewhere.

You insist on dancing a jig on your way to work each morning to the embarrassment of all your friends.

You've been under a rock for the past few years.

You just despise fairies. ("Wing Envy" if you ask me!)

You try to pick up women by saying "Ah, lassie, you have dazzling kneecaps, you do."

When you eat good food, you say it is "magically delicious,".

And the number one way you can tell you might be a Leprechaun:

You're three feet tall, Irish, have red hair, cuss, drink and wear green a lot!

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

GOOFY LITTLE DOG - WITH GOGGLES! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/135343.html

MILITARY JETS - STRANGE VAPOR SHOTS - 5 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135882.html

ELIOT SPITZER DELAYED ON THE WAY DOWNTOWN TO RESIGN! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/136012.html

FARM TRACTOR ACCIDENT - HONEY, THE JOHN DEERE IS IN THE DEN! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/136029.html

MILITARY EQUIPMENT TESTING - WATER CANNON TEST ON TROOP TRANSPORT - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/136037.html

STRANGE FOOD SNACK TRAY FOR COMPUTER KEYBOARD - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/136059.html

CAMEL RIDES - REAL CHEAP! - HE DOESN'T SPIT! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/136060.html

STRANGE 'CIRCLE IN A CIRCLE' OPTICAL ILLUSION - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/136062.html

STRANGE CHINESE ARMY TRAINING - LADIES HIGH KICK - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/136074.html

WWII - STRANGE MOTOR SCOOTER CANNON - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/135700.html

COOL NIGHT SHOT - MOON OVER AIRCRAFT CARRIER AND SUPPLY TENDERS! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/136075.html

FOUR LITTLE FROGS - HANG IN THERE #3! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/136081.html

STRANGE ROLE REVERSAL - DOG'S MASTER WITH THE NEWSPAPER IN HER MOUTH! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/136085.html

STRANGE "RED" CLOUDS - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/136091.html

THE WORST TOYS EVER! - McDONALD'S FRESH "FLESH" DRINK DISPENSER - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/136109.html

STRANGE WINTER BICYCLE - STUDDED REAR WHEEL AND FRONT SKI! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/136111.html

WWII - YALTA CONFERENCE - CHURCHILL - ROOSEVELT - STALIN - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/136112.html

STRANGE ASIAN HIGHWIRE ACT - BEAR ON A MOTORCYCLE - GIRL IN A SLING! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/136129.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - IRELAND - Irishman - Pubs - St. Patricks Day - Shamrocks

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/100298_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Where's all the Global Warming? Guns and Fists as "Snow Rage" Erupts - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/136010.html

"Irish Jokes" A Few Short Ones. - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/122544.html

St Patrick - A Quick History - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/106251.html

- Irish Blessings - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/25504.html

- Irish Jokes - One liners - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/25407.html

-What Is An Irishman? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/24116.html

Irish Humor - Worth Reviewing - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/22893.html

Irish Toastmasters Club Winner - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/21724.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - IRELAND - Irishman - Pubs - St. Patricks Day - Shamrocks

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/108_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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[b3ta] "WE TOLD YOU LAST WEEK ALREADY: IT'S POSITIVE!"

This Week:
* COOKING - Curing meat in a CRT
* CHALLENGE - Make graphs tell YOUR truths
* VIDEO - Delia Smith cooks spam

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "B3ta: it's a
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | community of cunts
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| for cunts"

B3ta email 319 - 14 Mar 2008

Working in the lol mine, getting lol dust on our
lungs, oops the lol canary has just karked it.
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue319/

Easter eggs: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Dog eggs: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
The World Is My Canvas

Stavros likes being watched while he's doing
it, do you want to watch?
http://tinyurl.com/25lad4

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Woo, yay and all that stuff

>> Safety campaigns <<
You know Cyriak for his mentalist animations.
We know him for posting on our board under the
name Mutated Monty and causing us random
complaints from people who doesn't realise they
are the same person, "There's a guy on b3ta
ripping off Cyriak's work" they say. Ho hum.
Anyway, here he is editing a couple of very
disturbing TV ads and making them even more
frightening. It's video psychosis and we're
genuinely glad not to live inside his head.
http://b3ta.com/links/when_road_saftey_campaigns_collide

>> Curing meat in a CRT <<
"I made biltong," boasts Redbull_(UK) "that's
addictive, chewy, air-dried, South African
beef. And I made it in a 15" crt monitor."
Blimey, this caused great debate amongst the
newsletter team, "But biltong is disgusting,"
said newsletter Dave. "At least he's found an
actual use for a 15" CRT monitor," pointed
out your Ginger Fuhrer. And so it's in.
http://biltongbell.blogspot.com/

>> Jonti poos himself <<
Picking has been amusing himself with the
quandary "do bears shit in the woods?" and to
potentially give away the punchline the answer
appears to be "Yes, they fucking shit
themselves stupid." Nice animation though.
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/A+Walk+In+The+Woods/

>> Indie schmindie Facebook song <<
Friz 3.0 has been on a song-writing mission
recently. There's a mean one where he moans
that the band Scouting For Girls use obvious
chords in their songs, but we will get linky
with this dissing of Facebook that many of our
readers should be able to recognise.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Facebook:2

>> Arty farty video <<
C_kick, probably best-known for the headphone
cats, has been going mental with typography,
sequencing the lyrics of a Ben Folds song to a
fuckload of typey stuff. Quite a change of
direction, but enjoyable, if not kitteny.
http://snipurl.com/songysong

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Nerdery

Each week we collect your stories, anecdotes
and lies into one handy place on the interweb.

Last week we asked just how nerdy are you? The
answer it seems is "nerdier than you, dumbass":
http://b3ta.com/questions/nerds/

Whilst we liked door frames's story of buying
a Trek outfit in Ann Summers, there're no photos
to prove it and we always enjoy when people
put up pictures. Here's three who did prove
their nerdiness, posing for the camera:

* THE NERD WHO GOT MARRIED AS DARTH VADER
http://b3ta.com/questions/nerds/post127469

* THE NERD WHO GARDENS AS A STORM TROOPER
http://b3ta.com/questions/nerds/post126905

* THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION
http://b3ta.com/questions/nerds/post127363

>> This Week's Question <<
We've re-opened an old question this week. What
are your Guilty Pleasures? Talk to us here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/guiltypleasures2/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> God moral maze <<
A "know yourself"-type quiz that attempts to
catch you out in your views of God. Made by
Christians, but fascinating nonetheless.
Actually started a long philosophical
discussion amongst the newsletter team with
Dave's view of God being an all-knowing, all
powerful being and Rob's strange refusal to
entertain the idea of a being more powerful
and intelligent than himself. Oh well,
beats jacking off to squid porn anyway.
http://www.philosophyquotes.net/cgi-bin/god_game1.cgi

>> Cool design site <<
Need to pick up a few tips on web design? Help
is at hand from Mark Chaffer, who's an expert
in DTP, video, animation, web pages and
photography. We particularly rate Mark's
animation skills, and hope to learn a few
tricks from the master.
http://www.chaffagraffix.co.uk/index.html

>> Origami ceiling cat <<
Possibly the best B3ta accessory, the
cut-out-and-make Ceiling Cat. There's one on the
B3ta ceiling now, well there would be if had a
ceiling. But we've chosen a hobo life, beneath
the stars.
http://snipurl.com/lolcats

>> Sperm for tickets <<
Simple idea right - young men want to go to
music gigs, and young men don't bother donating
sperms, so swap swimmers for tickets and Bob's
your uncle. Well exactly, and it's been so over
subscribed that they've had to close it down.
Surprising nobody.
http://www.spermfortickets.com

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Insert funny headline here please

>> Spam casserole <<
UK TV fans have been watching Delia Smith cook
for years, teaching us how to boil eggs, and
more recently how to prepared tinned mince.
We're loving this mocking clip from some BBC4
thingamabob. Dreadful food is always one of our
comedy triggers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY8BiJMNJyU

>> Amy Shitehouse <<
Kids - stay off the crack pipe, it stunts your
growth - just look at Amy here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaW-uj0Ta14

>> Walrus Jacko <<
"Amazing bit of walrus choreography; this
pinniped is nearly as slick as the paedophiliac
Gloved One himself," writes luvtub amongst
others, in the link we give the coveted title,
'link that more people emailed us than anything
else, other than the news that Sara Cox is
naming her son Isaac.'
http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2008/03/12

>> Pot noodles / not poodles <<
It's a shame that Pot Noodles are shit and we
wouldn't feed them to a dog because often their
advertising is excellent. Why can't good stuff,
like bananas and apples have such clever
promotion?
http://b3ta.com/links/Pot_Noodle_Chav_Spoof_of_Guinness_Ad

>> World's worst advert ever? <<
You know when Steve Jobs does his expo thing
and releases a new version of iMovie and then
demonstrates how great it is with a touching
video of some family holiday? We're kind of
imagining this with Bill Gates demonstrating
Windows Movie Maker...
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=AC0sR5_NTFo

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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Now incorporating 'rubbish logo weekly'

* WEIRD LOGO
We're guessing it represents a hose for
connecting your penis to a shower cap. "Look!
We don't wash our hair in piss!" FYI, the
company makes ticket machines.
http://www.incifra.it/

* MAX WANK
Oof, wank as a surname, been there, done
that, but he's a German politician and seeing
his grinning face over the name "Max Wank"
makes it look like an advert for lube.
http://www.toytowngermany.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=89383

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: NEWS-STAND OF THE WEEK
10,000 Child porn images!

This local newspaper is seemingly including
unusual freebies to boost sales. Our source,
Alex reveals, "The same newspaper ran a cheesy
baby photo comp at the end of last year, with
promotional posters blaring 'Enter Baby Of The
Year Here'... I think they have issues!"
http://snipurl.com/kiddypornyeah

++ BONUS CLIPPING OF THE WEEK
http://www.b3ta.com/links/All_is_right_with_the_world

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Comics Challenge

Last week we wanted you to make newspaper
comics funny.

Your favourites included:

* SPY vs SPY - classic old-skool comic meets
international incident intrigue (HappyToast)

* GEORGE & LYNNE - previously unseen art
featuring the nation's favourite couple on a
rare Portuguese break (new_matt)

* PEANUTS - just like the rest of us, sometimes
Charles M. Shultz just got out of the wrong
side of bed (StickFigureNinja)

All these images, and the highest as
voted by you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/newspapercomics/

>> New challenge: Graphs <<
We all know graphs can prove anything, so prove
YOUR truth.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/graphs/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* JOEL'S NEW AD - the Veitchmaster has been
busy in the kitten gymnasium filming this
Crusha ad. "I really like it," he adds.
"Although I'm finding it a bit painful looking
at it in low-res, as I did the whole thing at
2k film spec (which is just slightly bigger
than 1080p HD) and then they dropped that
requirement for it to be that big. So, I'm used
to it looking really cool and sharp and
high-res, and of course it will never be seen
like that by anyone else."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/I_did_an_ad_with_kittens_working_out

* HUMAN BLACK PUDDING - We asked for it in a
newsletter of yore. Now it seems some German
army chappies have been tempted by the highly
delicious concept of black puddings made with
their own blood. But now face charges of
cannibalism.
http://snipurl.com/nazicunts

* RAMPANT INFLATION - mrdirtylegs has responded
to our call for stuff being inflated. "I
consider myself something of an expert in the
field of inflation with water," he explains.
"Here is an aquaglove;"
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=5IfRhW0FlTY

* LEATHERGIRL - we thought girls should be able
to enjoy using utility knives too. Turns out
there already is one - the Miss Army Knife:
http://snipurl.com/fireboxtwats

* MATAZONE - we were checking in on long-time
b3tard Matazone. What really boggled our minds
though was that he seems to have somehow
crossed that fine line that divides making
web-nerd animation and ladies' underwear. Check
it out!
http://corsets.matazone.co.uk/index.php?cPath=23

* RAMPANT INFLATION II - "Pumping up a bike
inner tube: Yes, you can burst it, especially
with a big free-standing pump from Halfords
that's probably actually a lot more powerful
than you really needed." informs Andrew
Stevens. "If you are going to try it, for fucks
sake wear ear defenders. I thought I'd burst an
ear drum when I blew up my girlfriends bike
tyre by accident."

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* UNSINKABLE POO - Puromycin asks, "We've all
experienced floaters which pop back up after
flushing, so I'm asking B3tards to alter their
diet to work out what is the ideal foods to
consistently create buoyant stools."

* SUPERSIZE CONSUMER TEST - we were looking at
the sweet rack in Woolworths the other day and
briefly wondered about the value for money on
super-size Mars bars. Do you get more chocolate
for your money? What about those jumbo Kitkats?
C'mon fatties - do some science.

* TIP-EX VS MARKER PENS - how high can you get
using only the items found in your stationary
cupboard?

Send your linky missives via the internets.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: What's the difference between flowers and
AIDS? We didn't give your mum flowers, so if
you've sent something in that hasn't been
featured then don't be put off - we laugh at
everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Post-op: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Co-op: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:

This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by collapsibletank,
chunderbunny, lesbilicious.co.uk, terryeden,
gary_robinson, and Fat Tony. Additional linkage
and image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike
Trinder is QOTW bloke. I bet no one reads this
bit, but seeing as you've bothered, I'll tell
you a secret: I'm not a rapist, I'm just a
little deaf, you can't arrest me, that's
discrimination. Subjectlinelols from the
impossibly-named "Your watch is still saving
for 5K but".

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
Dissatisfied with your job/partner/life? Get
used to it. It's like this until you get old.
Then it gets worse. (frankspencer)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/

-------------------------------------------------

SICKIPEDIA:

I just lost at Hangman
Didn't know the place name.
_____
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| O
| /I\
| / \
|-----------

B R _ D G _ _ D

http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 676 - March 12, 2008 - Letters of Recommendation Phrases

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

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------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should
have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased
to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against
a wall. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have
since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get
a bad one, you'll become a philosopher - Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Letters of Recommendation Phrases

Letters Of Recommendation Phrases

Have to write a letter of recommendation for that fired employee? - Here are a few suggested phrases:

For the chronically absent:
"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed her career was just taking off."

For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."
"Every hour with him was a happy hour."

For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."

For a stupid employee:
"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."
"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."

For a dishonest employee:
"Her true ability was deceiving."
"He's an unbelievable worker."

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE "MOBILE" PHONE? PHONE BOOTH ON THE MOVE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/135601.html

STRANGE 'OLD' GAS STATIONS & GAS PUMPS - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/135259.html

STRANGE BUS ADVERTISING - CANDY BAR - JUST ONE BITE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135806.html

STRANGE NIGHT SKYSCRAPER TETRIS - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/135812.html

MINI MUD RACING - GO-KART - LAWNMOWER STYLE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/135839.html

'COOL' FORD FOCUS - MADE FROM SOLID ICE! - 1 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/135843.html

COOL KOALA BEAR FAMILY - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/135844.html

STRANGE ALBINO SQUIRREL - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/135846.html

OLDE PIX - MARK TWAIN & DOROTHY QUICK - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/135879.html

OLDE MINI SKIRT STEWARDESSES - BACK WHEN FLYING WAS FUN! - LAX - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/135880.html

AMAZING TWSTERS AND TORNADOS! - 5 - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/135917.html

STRANGE ROAD - CUT RIGHT THROUGH THE CLIFF SIDE! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/135922.html

RODEO DANGERS - BULL RIDING COWBOY HITS THE GROUND - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135923.html

STRANGE DOLL - SUPER SKINNY ! - NOW THAT'S A GREAT EXAMPLE! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/135924.html

STRANGE BICYCLE - NOW HOW DOES THAT WORK????? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135927.html

CIVIL WAR - FT. SUMTER - CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA - CANNON ON WALL - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/135943.html

INTERNATIONAL PICTURE OF THE YEAR - MARINE HONOR GUARD MOVE MILITARY COFFIN FROM AIRLINER - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/136006.html

SCARY ALIGATOR ATTACK - THAT WAS CLOSE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/136009.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SP - COPS AT WORK - Action - Arrests - Issuing Tickets - Resting ?

http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/100378_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

The Strange Demographics of American Newspapers - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/135963.html

"Girl" At School Was 39-Year-Old Man - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/136002.html

Irishman Wonders Why He Lost the Job to an American - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/136005.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SP - COPS AT WORK - Action - Arrests - Issuing Tickets - Resting ?

http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/112_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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------------------------

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Vol 675 - March 09, 2008 - Dictionary For Women

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

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------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange "Funny" quotes:

"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five." - Steven Wright

"I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name." - Paula Poundstone

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good." - Steven Wright

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." - Groucho Marx

"If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor." - Joan Rivers

"If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?" - Lily Tomlin

"My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic." - Spike Milligan

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Dictionary For Women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n
Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
What you spend ½ an hour writing, then forget to take to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n
Similar to a black hole in space -- if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breathe...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

TOW TRUCK OVERKILL - REPO KIDS TOY CAR? - COULD HAVE USED A SMALLER TRUCK! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/135592.html

STRANGE 'OLD' GAS STATIONS & GAS PUMPS - SHELL - A CLASSIC! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/135261.html

WORLD'S SMALLEST GUN - 2 INCHES LONG! - 1 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135753.html

ILLEGAL ALIEN COUNTERFEIT DRIVERS LICENSE - MORON OF THE WEEK WINNER! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/135755.html

AMAZING BUDDHIST MONKS CREATE HUGE SAND ART DISPLAY - 14 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/135787.html

PROOF OF ALIEN VISITORS? - HUGE BOOTPRINTS THRU NEIGHBORHOOD - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/135801.html

PREGNANT TIME LAPSE - BELLY BIGGER & BIGGER - BABY! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/135809.html

STRANGE BUBBLE GUM BLOWING TALENT! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/135810.html

HOT AIR BALLOON PROBLEM - FOLDED OVER A HUGE BILLBOARD! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/135816.html

STRANGE CELEBS WHO LOOK JUST LIKE THEIR MOMS! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/135760.html

STRANGE TV NEWS WEATHERGIRL - FULL BURKA! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/135818.html

STRANGE "T-REX' THREE WHEEL VEHICLE - 1 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/135822.html

WORLD CUP - SHY SPORTS FAN - HUGE "SHOW ME ON TV" SIGN - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/135824.html

THE GOOD LIFE - FATHER AND SON ENJOYING SPORTS TOGETHER! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/135826.html

SENIOR TRIP - SHARING AMONG THE ELDERLY! GRAMPS ON HER LAP! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135827.html

STRANGE 'PIMPED' STRETCH MINI LIMO - 1 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135833.html

STRANGE BUBBLE - IT'S HUGE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135834.html

STRANGE AUTO ACCIDENT - CAR HITS FROSTY THE SNOWMAN! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135835.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - HEAVY EQUIPMENT - COMMERCIAL BUILDINGS - CRANES - HUGE COMMERCIAL VEHICLES

http://www.strangedangers.com/content/category/100233_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Man Caught In Office Bathroom With Blow-Up Doll - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/135521.html

Teacher Finds That Little Mary Didn't Do Her Homework ! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/135756.html

New Chemical Element Found! - Governmentium (Gv) - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/135758.html

Irate British Citizen's Note to the Morons at the Passport Ministry - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135840.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - HEAVY EQUIPMENT - COMMERCIAL BUILDINGS - CRANES - HUGE COMMERCIAL VEHICLES

http://www.strangedangers.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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[b3ta] "Here are the results to your AIDS test"

This Week:
* HUMAN ZOO - Oldest swinger in town
* CHALLENGE - Make newspaper comics FUNNY
* QUESTION - How nerdy are YOU?

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "Every time you
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | masturbate, a U.S
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| Marine kills a puppy"

B3ta email 318 - 07 Mar 2008

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue318/

Colin Norris: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Old People: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
We've Found Maddie!

Maddie Murdoch that is – and BA, Face and
Hannibal. We've got the coolest men's &
ladies A-Team t-shirts. You can even hire
our A-Team van!
http://www.truffleshuffle.co.uk/

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Ewan McShitter, Irish jigs & fucking ringtones

>> "I wish my wife was a horse" <<
Your Ginger Fuhrer and his pet lol turnip
Dave have been hard at work cutting up
bits of paper and writing songs. This
week it's all about Prince Charles and
his equine lusts.
http://www.comedybox.tv/comic-video-mr+pitchy-11197

>> Jamsack Ringtones <<
Irked beyond measure by those annoying mobile
phone ringtone ads, Ornsack has knocked up this
mocking response. We really like the format -
it's an excuse to bang out rapidfire jokes for
as long as you like.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Jamsack_Ringtones

>> Davidoff meets Trainspotting <<
Beau Bo d'Or finds inspiration in Ewan
McGregor's humongously cheesy recent
aftershave commercial. He's right - the
soundtrack fits extremely well with an iconic
scene from Trainspotting.
http://snipurl.com/ewan-mcgregor

>> Irish music montage <<
"I made this for Paddy's Day," claims
jonholland and we see no reason to disbelieve
him. It's a video montage of him plucking out
single notes made into an Irish jig kind of
thing - very jolly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRmPNI6Ec6s

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Have you seen a dead body?

Each week we collect your stories, anecdotes
and lies into one handy place on the interweb.

Last week we asked if you'd ever seen a dead
body? All too many of you have:
http://b3ta.com/questions/deadbodies/

To cheer you up, here's yes_slash_no's handy
tips on dissecting bodies:

* YOU LOOK LIKE FOOD - Muscles: bits of tuna.
Chest cavity: smells oddly of lamb. At least
we're not as bad as the vet students who nick
off with bits of cow for supper.

* FORMALIN DOES NOT SMELL GOOD - It does not
smell good in the dissecting room. It does not
smell good on the crowded tube home. It does
not smell good after you've showered for half
an hour and used an entire bottle of Satsuma
Bodywash.

* LUNGS CAN EXPLODE - When removing the top of
the ribcage, if it really isn't coming off,
giving it a good yank is not an approved
technique and may result in fragments of lung
landing in your hair.

* IT ALL LOOKS THE SAME - Not quite, but
nearly. If it's yellow and slightly hard it's
fat. If it's reddish pink and striated it's
probably muscle. If it's red and squishy, it
could be anything. If it's red and stringy,
erm, a vein or a nerve. Or an arteriole. Or a
ligament. Or just a strand of muscle. Something
like that.

* IT'S REALLY BORING - You'd think it all taboo
and forbidden, especially with the Catholic
Church forbidding it for like a bajillion
years, but in fact dissection is kind of dull.
It turns out that people are in fact more
interesting alive. Even old people.

* ACCEPT YOUR MISTAKES - If, say, you
accidentally cut off the belly button and you
really weren't meant to, and it needs to be
attached so you can use it to reference the
location of everything else you see... just
live with the fact that you screwed up. DO NOT
TRY TO REATTACH IT WITH GLUE. This is
important. You will only make everything worse.

>> This Week's Question <<
How nerdy are you? Yes, we are honouring the
death of Gary Gygax by revelling in our
collective nerdiness. Talk to us here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/nerds/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Conspiracy Friday <<
Anyone who's been to a party containing under
30s in the last five years will have met some
intense bloke banging on about how 9/11 was an
inside job and we should all download the Loose
Change video, to SEE THE TRUTH. Amusing parody
here, involving, err, trains.
http://loosetrains911.blogspot.com/

>> Trippy photos <<
HDR photography allows several levels of
exposure in the same photo - so that the bright
bits are as visible as the shadows. You can do
this yourself by combining several pictures in
photoshop, or by using specialist equipment.
Whichever method you choose, and we're looking
forward to trying out this ourselves, the
results can be absolutely stunning.
http://abduzeedo.com/20-beautiful-hdr-pictures?=main

>> Write an album in a month <<
Our friend MJ Hibbett recently flagged up the
Fawm site, mentioning he was joining their
challenge to write 14 songs in one month.
Sadly we didn't have time to check it out
whilst the compo was on, but in the last week
all we've been doing is listening to this
fantastic outpouring of creativity. Our only
criticism, is that there isn't a March
challenge that we could join in on.
http://fawm.org/

>> Garfield minus Garfield <<
We've covered Garfield edits before, including
one where they removed the cat's speech bubbles
to give the impression that Jon - the owner -
was just some mad rambling cat man. The latest
revision of this meme is to remove Garfield
completely, making Jon look, quite frankly,
like a paranoid schizophrenic. BTW: We've
enjoyed this so much that this week's challenge
has taken a similar theme: make newspaper
cartoons funny.
http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

>> Bad photoshop <<
Not all users of photoshop are as clever as the
B3tards, some people (instead of sticking cocks
on kittens) have to touch up celebrity photos
for promotional crap. And sometimes they are
completely cack-handed at their jobs, so look
and learn from their terrible mistakes.
http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/

>> New ways to be paranoid volume 12 <<
Web dickheads like us are emotionally obsessed
with stats, many a webtard has found himself in
therapy going, "but my new piece of genius only
got 40 hits." So it's alarming to know you can
now find how many people have seen each page on
Wikipedia each month. E.g. 5487 webmongs looked
up B3ta in Feb, whilst only 3003 people
bothered looking up Channel 4 newsreader John
Snow. Which is a WIN for us, although we're
much less popular than Fred West or Harold
Shipman. The limelight-stealing cunts.
http://stats.grok.se/

>> Shittest flash game ever <<
We could describe this, but it would spoil the
joke, so instead, here's a joke that's (for
once) suitable for kids: What do Mexicans keep
under their carpets? Underlay, underlay!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Fun_little_flash_game:2

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Baby monkeys

"OMG cutez0r!1!" shouts Shiodome, "I've been
pimping your newsletter to my partner's parents
purely on the strength of 'things that make you
go ahhhh" cuteness. (it's generally safe to
let them browse through the other vile puerile
filth, as they're in Tokyo and their English is
crap). They've been asking for more cuteness
and sent me this to remind me there's untapped
cuteness reserves still out there." Um, to
shoot ourselves in the foot, they do know about
cuteoverload.com don't they?
http://snipurl.com/babymonkeys

-------------------------------------------------

: LEAVE THE PC ALONE AND GO TO A GIG
Jonathan Coulton plays Dingwalls

We've just had an email from a PR company.
Normally, we stick this stuff in the bin, but
we recognised the name and read it. Jonathan
Coulton, the blokey who wrote the fantastic
song at the end of Portal is playing a gig
in Camden, London on Thursday 20th March.
Tickets cost £15 and are available via clicking
around on his site. Although, assuming the PR
person (hello Annie Day) is good to her word,
your newsletter team are going for FREE. Ha! We
knew there was a good reason for starting this
damn site.
http://www.jonathancoulton.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO

>> Kids' music remastered <<
Entertaining spoof advert for an album of
nursery rhyme covers by bands that parents
prefer. Also contains an excellent Guns'n'Roses
McDonalds jingle which, frankly, Maccy D's
could do worse than actually use - beggars
can't be choosers.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Welcome_to_the_jungle:2

>> Michael Jackson's big white glove <<
Even more odd than you'd initially assume. The
erstwhile prince of pop sings Billy Jean
wearing an enormous, clown-like glove. This is
just one of a bunch of arty-farty things made
by nerds fixated on Jacko's idiosyncratic dress
sense in the original video.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Giant_white_glove_experiment

>> Cat 'of a Thousand Faces' <<
Singularly unimpressed feline barely tolerates
owners' attempts to alter his appearance for
comic effect. Admit it - cats have a repertoire
of just three faces: 'bored', 'wants something'
and 'batshit crazy'.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Cat_of_1000_Faces

-------------------------------------------------

: HUMAN ZOO
Dirty old man

Calling all TV producers - the race is on -
who's going to pitch a documentary about this
man to BBC3 or Channel5 first? Meet Uncle
Dirty, a cock-obsessed octogenarian, who makes
home-made porn, frightens people on the beach in
his padded thong, and sticks penises onto his
favourite magazines. Lovely.
http://lovebryan.com/features/uncledirty.php

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the New Logos Challenge

Last week we wanted to update corporate
logos.

Your favourites included:

* PAL - a walk down memory lane as we revisit
the petfood format wars (Haku)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8109278

* BACARDI - rebranding to appeal to the
nation's binge-drinking teenagers (dbroon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8111795

* JELLO - bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy fun fun
fun fun fun (onephilosophy)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8113706

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/newlogos/

>> New challenge: Newspaper Comics <<
Let's face it, Garfield, Andy Capp and
Marmaduke are all crap. You can do better,
right? Challenge suggested by BubaMan.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/newspapercomics/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* HITLER SALARIES - As we probably should have
mentioned in the write up to that crap careers
website last week, it pretty much works for any
word you care to put in. Thanks to the many
people who pointed out how well-paid you are if
you're a cunt:
http://www.indeed.com/salary?q1=cunt

* MR BEAN BANK NOTE - We erroneously claimed
that it was from Indonesia. In fact, it is a
note from the Philippines, says Filipina
LynISGanda. "It is a Philippine 5-peso note,
now defunct and replaced by a coin version,"
she continues. Doh.

* OUTOFBUSINESSCARDS.COM - It was one of our
'things we want to see next week' and b3tard
Alex has only gone and shelled out for the
domain. "It was all your fault, I'm the highly
suggestible type!" he cries. Now he's after
people sending him business cards from defunct
companies for him to scan in.
http://www.outofbusinesscards.com

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* STRING A GUITAR WITH RUBBER BANDS - might
work, something to fill a dull Sunday with
anyway.

* RAMPANT INFLATION - Pumping up a bike inner
tube, can you make it burst? What about a car
tyre? Could make some nice little videos - it
would be quite tense and exciting, waiting for
everything to blow.

* A LEATHERMAN FOR LADIES - with a tweezers,
mascara brush, eye-liner pencil etc. Call it a
Leathergirl. Quids in.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:

This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by ed boucher and, oh,
loads of other people. Additional linkage and
image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder
is QOTW bloke. 4dam crowned Miss World for his
subjectlinelols, with second prize of
Mastheadlol to Manic.

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
At self-service tills put everything through as
loose potatoes. 500g of potatoes weighs the
same as 500g of muffins, but costs a lot less.
(digital observations )
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/

-------------------------------------------------

SICKIPEDIA:
How does it change many dyslexics to take a
light-bulb?
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 674 - March 06, 2008 - Being Irish Means.......

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

The Perfect Gift! Rated #1 by Strange Cosmos...

Check it out!!! Give the gift of laughter to your friends! Order by phone or online ..

http://www.psychyourselfskinny.com/

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Strange "I'm Not Very Bright" Quotes

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. - Marshall McLuhan

I never know how much of what I say is true. - Bette Midler

I have nothing intelligent to say. - Meg Tilly, when approached by a TV reporter asking questions on her way into the 1997 Oscar ceremonies.

I am not denying anything I did not say. -Brian Mulrooney

I really didn't say everything I said. - Yogi Berra

I'm a meathead. I can't help it, man. You've got smart people and you've got dumb people. - Keanu Reeves

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave. -Burt Reynolds

I'm no actor, and I have sixty-four pictures to prove it. - Victor Mature

Of all the things I've ever lost I miss my mind the most. - Steven Tyler

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Being Irish Means.......

* you will never play professional basketball

* you swear very well

* at least one of your cousins holds political office

* you think you sing very well

* you have no idea how to make a long story short

* you are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf

* there isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone

* much of your food was boiled

* you have never hit your head on the ceiling

* you spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling

* you're strangely poetic after a few beers

* you're poetic a lot

* you will be punched for no good reason...a lot

* some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations

* your sister will punch you because your brother punched her

* many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary...and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth

* someone in your family is incredibly cheap

* it is more than likely you

* you don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing

* you can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking

* "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge"

* you're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in

talent, you make up for in frequency

* there wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last kegger party

* you are, or know someone, named "Murph"

* if you don't know Murph, then you know "Mac"

* if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know "Sully"

* you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy

* you are genetically incapable of keeping a secret

* your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room and last but not least... Being Irish means...

* your attention span is so short that---oh, forget it.

Submitted by Kaspars

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE 3-D ART WORK - THE LADDER! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/135600.html

STRANGE EUROPEAN JAIL / PRISON - JUSTIZZENTRUM LOEBEN - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/135615.html

STRANGE PURPLE CUSTOM CAR - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135624.html

HEARSE WITH A FLAT TIRE - HOW TO BE LATE FOR YOUR OWN FUNERAL! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/135638.html

EMILY'S STRANGE "DIVORCE ANNOUNCEMENT" TO STEVEN! - BILLBOARD - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/135640.html

STRANGE UTILITY POLE / LAMP ADVERTISING - GIRAFFE - COOL ZOO AD CAMPAIGN - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/135641.html

AMAZING RUSSIAN "EGG" ART - 1 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/135158.html

STRANGE 'OLD' GAS STATIONS & GAS PUMPS - ESSO - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/135257.html

WWI - 1915 - FORT DOUAUMONT BATTLE OF VERDUN - BEFORE AND AFTER PIXS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/135663.html

HELICOPTER CRASH - HANGS OFF NAVY SHIP LANDING PLATFORM - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/135696.html

STRANGE CHINESE ARMY TRAINING - CLEAVER TO THE NECK - STONE SLAB ON THE BACK! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/135698.html

AUSTRALIAN SHARK GRABS RED SNAPPER - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/135705.html

STRANGE "FIND THE 10 TIGERS" OPTICAL ILLUSION - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135743.html

STRANGE "HIGH RISE" TRAILER PARK! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/135744.html

STRANGE PHENOMENON "RAINBOW SHROUDED HUMAN SHAPED IMAGE" APPEARS IN CHINA MOUNTAIN MIST - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/135745.html

STRANGE BUMPER STICKERS FOR SENIORS - OLD PEOPLE - GEEZERS! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/135746.html

WHITEWATER KAYAKING FUN? - LOOK AT THEIR FACES! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/135747.html

INCREDIBLE NIGHT SHOT - ATOMIC BOMB EXPLOSION - BIKINI ATOLL - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/135748.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - FARM FUN - Farm Fields - Tractors - Barns - Animals

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/100296_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Man Says He Bit Into Burger, Found Condom - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/135519.html

A "Short" Fairy Tale - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/135652.html

Be Careful What You Wish For - You Might Get it Like Puerto Rico and Germany Did - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135742.html

Strange Uses For 'Bounce" Dryer Sheets - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/108809.html

Strange New Word Definitions - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/110783.html

15 Great Ways To Get Revenge... - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/110286.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - FARM FUN - Farm Fields - Tractors - Barns - Animals

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/112_1.html

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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

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Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

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Vol 673 - March 02, 2008 - Actual SAT Test Answers in Arkansas

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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Quotes About Sports:

"Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don't like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that." - Bill Shankly, In Sunday Times (UK) Oct. 4 1981

"Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead." - Erma Bombeck (1927 - 1996)

"Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings." - George F. Will (1941 - )

"Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theismann, Former quarterback

"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like." - Phyllis Diller

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Actual SAT Test Answers in Arkansas

S.A.T. TEST QUESTIONS

The following questions and answers were actually collected from SAT tests given in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16-year-old students! (Don't laugh too hard----one of these kids may be the President someday.)

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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THE LOST FINE ART OF GUN ENGRAVING - SMILE! SPECIAL GLOCK - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/135528.html

JOCELYN WILDENSTEIN - SCARIEST PLASTIC SURGERY CELEB! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135536.html

EVOLUTION OF AUTOMOBILE LOGOS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/135561.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN BALLERINA'S - DIVING INTO A FROZEN LAKE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/135571.html

CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRLS GONE BAD - CIGARETTES AND NUN ALL TIED UP! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/135565.html

POLICE MUG SHOT - NASTY BLONDE - WITH ATTITUDE! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/135566.html

OLDE DUELING PISTOLS - MATCHED SET - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/135567.html

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STRANGE MONKEY FACE - BIG EARS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/135585.html

STRANGE CROSS COUNTRY RUNNER - JUST LIKE JESUS! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/135590.html

STRANGE STEAM POWERED 'CENTIPEDE' TRAIN! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/135593.html

STRANGE URINALS - CHOOSE BY SIZE INDICATED - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/135598.html

BATTLESHIP - 16 INCH GUNS SALVO - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/135387.html

STRANGE BRIDGES AROUND THE WORLD - AMAZING! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/135420.html

NEVER TAKE AN EPEE TO A GUN FIGHT! - FENCING! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/135524.html

MOMMA GIRAFFE GIVES BABY A KISS! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/134985.html

HOW MUCH DOES A DOUBLEWIDE WEIGH? TOO MUCH FOR THIS RURAL BRIDGE! - 2 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/135025.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - WATER - SALT-WATER - Oceans - Fish - Sharks - Whales - Dolphins - Walrus

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100670_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Lonely Man Buys a Pet - a Centipede! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/135532.html

Man Puts Out Fire With Aunt's XL Undies - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/135517.html

Woman in Wheelchair Decapitated By Fire Truck - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/135518.html

Wordsmithing Fun - The Mensa Invitational! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/135651.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - WATER - SALT-WATER - Oceans - Fish - Sharks - Whales - Dolphins - Walrus

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/125_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

The Perfect Gift! Rated #1 by Strange Cosmos...

Check it out!!! Give the gift of laughter to your friends! Order by phone or online.

http://www.psychyourselfskinny.com/

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