VOL 1599 - MAY 3, 2017 - How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change Light Bulb?

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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MAY FUN !

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Strange Animal Quotes:

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. ~Winston Churchill

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. ~George Eliot

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. ~Nora Ephron

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~Martin Buber

Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem. ~Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch. - Michael Friedman

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's another thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners. - Jeff Stilson

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change Light Bulb?

"How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?"

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I?
Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.....

13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.
By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.


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