VOL 1576 - FEB. 12, 2017 - Classic Southern Expressions!

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

FEBRUARY FUN !


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Sports Quotes: WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS:

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
(Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Southern Expressions


Exclamations:
"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

Threats:
"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle."
"This'll jar your preserves."
"Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!"

Good Things/Compliments:
"Cute as a sack full of puppies."
"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."
"Gooder than grits."

The Weather:
"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."

Descriptions:
A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."
When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."
If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
"He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."
A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a
marble floor."

Insults:
"She's uglier than homemade soap."
"Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.'"
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead"
Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart."
Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."


==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

CALEXIT PROTESTERS - PROOF THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE MORONS! SECDEE! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/201224.html


SUPERBOWL FUN - VIEW FROM $150,000 SUPER BOWL LUXURY SUITE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201215.html


SNOW FUN - FARM FUN - HAY BALE SNOWMAN AND SNOW WOMAN! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201252.html


STRANGE PICTURE PUZZLE FUN - FIND THE 50 MOVIES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201255.html


AWESOME NOSE ON SHOT OF A-10 WARTHOGS ESCORTED BY F-15'S LINED UP IN RUNWAY - DANGEROUS MILITARY AIRCRAFT! - http://www.strangefunmilitary.com/content/item/201257.html


STRANGE BUILDINGS - 60 STORIES UP SEE THROUGH WILD SLIDE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201256.html


STRANGE BUILDINGS - WORLD FAMOUS CROOKED HOUSE IN SOPOT POLAND! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201213.html


MILLENNIAL FUN - STRANGE MEN'S PINK LACE UP HIGH TOP TENNIES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201258.html


STRANGE RELIGIOUS ITEMS - MINIATURE 16TH CENTURY BOXWOOD CARVINGS - SHELL - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/200811.html


RANCH FUN - STRANGE "MOTORCYCLE" HORSE COVER - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201259.html


STRANGE AND STUPID PEOPLE - MAYOR OF VIRGINIA CITY SEND IDIOTIC E-MAIL - HOW DO THESE PEOPLE GET ELECTED? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201260.html


STRANGE NEW PRODUCTS - EYEWASH EQUIPMENT THAT FLUSHES YOUR EYES AFTER VIEWING SOMETHING ONLINE THAT YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSE TO SEE, OR JUST REGRETTED! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201261.html


STRANGE NASA PROJECTS - CHECKOUT THE MIRRORS FOR THE $9 BILLION SPACE TELESCOPE! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/201262.html


1965 CORVETTE MAKO SHARK AT THE PARIS AUTO SHOW! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/201216.html


STRANGE OLD ROCK STARS - ZZ TOP PLAYS FIRST SHOW PICTURE - BEFORE THE FULL BEARDS! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/201217.html


WWII - PEARL HARBOR AERIAL PICTURE - BATTLESHIP ROW AND ENTIRE FLEET TIED UP! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/201219.html


WEATHER DANGERS - FLOODING AT OROVILLE DAM SPILLWAY ERODED BY FLOOD WATERS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201263.html


==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - DANGEROUS ANIMALS - SITUATIONS - INCIDENTS !

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100013_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Facts And Amazing Information - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/201220.html


Strange Glossary - American vs English Meanings - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/119405.html


Strange Things to Ponder - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/151658.html


==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - DANGEROUS ANIMALS - SITUATIONS - INCIDENTS !

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/120_1.html

==================================

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263

http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/

------------------------------------------------------------

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites


==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger


Do NOT Reply to this automated e-Letter: E-Mail replies to this message will not be seen.

To Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html