VOL 1571 - JAN. 25, 2017 - Strange Erudite Concepts

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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JANUARY FUN!


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Strange Golf Quotes:

These greens are so fast, I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ Kevin Costner

I don't fear death..., but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Erudite Concepts

STRANGE ERUDITE CONCEPTS

If you're not familiar with the work of Boswell D. Rabbitsmith, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems: (He also makes his living as a comedian by the name of Steve Wright....)


1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How can you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything seems to be coming your way, maybe you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not being smart enough to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... so far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death...twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

33 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE ROCK STAR FUN - CHECK OUT WILLIE NELSONS BEAT UP GUITAR AFTER 48 YEARS OF USE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201048.html


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STRANGE ART - MONA LISA - HOW IT LOOKED ORIGINALLY COMPARED TO NOW WHEN AGED! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201042.html


WHY I LOST MY JOB - AUTO MECHANIC FAILS AT SETTING UP CAR LIFT - UNDER THE WHEEL WELLS - NOT THE FRAME! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201043.html


STRANGE RELIGIOUS ITEMS - MINIATURE 16TH CENTURY BOXWOOD CARVINGS - CATHEDRAL - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/200810.html


SCARY ROAD HAZARDS - METAL SHAFT GOES THRU FRONT WINDSHIELD! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201045.html


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SNOW FUN - SNOW BLOWN CAR LOOKS LIKE IT'S SPEEDING AS IT SITS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/201047.html


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - Japanese - Chinese - Asian - Crazy Goofy Items

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

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- Strange Answers on High School Tests - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/168998.html


- 9 Strangest GPS Stories - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/184810.html


- Words You Hear A Lot in the Office and Their Strange Origins - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/138319.html


- Strange Redundant Redundancies - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/138063.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - Japanese - Chinese - Asian - Crazy Goofy Items

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