VOL 1531 - AUG 07, 2016 - Strange Oxy-Moronic Questions

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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AUGUST FUN !


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Strange Quotes: When Insults Had Class

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."--
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...
followed by Churchill's response:

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Oxy-Moronic Questions

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21.. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? I dunno, why do we?


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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WEDDING DRESSES AROUND THE WORLD - GORANI/KOSOVO TRADITIONAL BRIDE OUTFIT AND MAKEUP - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199023.html


MILITARY FIELD RATIONS FOR SOLDIERS - ESTONIA - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/199097.html


AWESOME BMW ROADSTER ACCESSORY - HEADLIGHT EYES DISAPPEAR! - FUN ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/199187.html


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COMMERCIAL AIRLINE PASSENGER MORONS - TAKES OFF STINKY SHOES AND SOCKS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199191.html


IS THIS WHAT VEGANS END UP LIKE? THEIR FINAL FORM? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199189.html


STRANGE OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - MESMERIZING COSMIC CIRCLES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199190.html


STRANGE SHOES - WEDDING CROCS FOR FORMAL OCCASIONS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199197.html


WEATHER DANGERS - INCREDIBLE LIGHTNING STRIKES FROM HUGE STORM CLOUDS ! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199194.html


STRANGE CELEBRITY FUN - SEAN CONNERY COMPETING IN MR UNIVERSE CONTEST 1953! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/199195.html


STRANGE TOMBSTONES - RUSSIAN OLIGARCH WITH FULL SIZE STATUE AND HIS MERCEDES BENZ - CROSS AND HUGE ROCK! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199196.html


STRANGE OCEAN CREATURES - WILD BLANKET OCTOPUS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/199198.html


FEMALE JAPANESE AIR FORCE PILOT PILOT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE TAKING HER ROLE SERIOUSLY CARTOON CHARACTER ON HELICOPTER! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/199199.html


STRANGE ROCK STAR FUN - SHAKIRA TOSSED FROM 2ND GRADE CHOIR - MUSIC TEACHER SAID SHE SOUNDED LIKE A GOAT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199203.html


LUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD - SLOB WINS THE LOTTERY AND BEAUTIFUL BLONDE BECOMES HIS GIRLFRIEND! - COINCIDENCE? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199204.html


MILLENNIAL MANHOOD - CHECK OUT TODAY'S METRO-SEXUAL HE-MEN - HIPSTERS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199205.html


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SP - FOREIGN POLICE - Vehicles - Events - Law Enforcement

http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/100386_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- The Strangest Assassination Attack Throughout History - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/199193.html


- The Prager Commencement Speech That Should Be Told At EVERY High School ! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/199200.html


- Top 10 Most Evil Women in History - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/163840.html


- Strange Aspirin Facts and History - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/165026.html


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The Featured New Category This Week - SP - FOREIGN POLICE - Vehicles - Events - Law Enforcement

http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/119_1.html

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